Latest / The IDEA SANDWICH Podcast / Kindness Isn't Hard - Remembering to Use It Is
Transcript
- Ara Topouzian: To make a great sandwich, you need great ingredients. And the same goes for your work and yourself. The way you layer them, balance them, and maybe even toast them a little, that's what makes something memorable. I'm Ara Topouzian and this is the idea sandwich, where we mix the right layers of creativity, business, and life to make something worth biting into. Okay, so here's today's question: Why is it so hard to be kind? Actually, that's not even the right question because being kind isn't hard. We're not talking about donating a kidney. We're talking about just saying thank you. Maybe it's holding a door or acknowledging someone, answering an email without making the other person wonder if they've somehow disappointed you as a human being. You know the email. Quote unquote. Fine. That's it. Fine. That's all they wrote. No hello. No thank you, no punctuation, just fine. And now I'm sitting there thinking, what did I do? That's the strange thing about kindness. It requires almost no special talent. There's no certification and there's no continuing education credits. Nobody has ever said I'd love to be nicer to people, but unfortunately I haven't completed the required coursework. And yet somehow we struggle with it. Especially when we're busy or stressed or important, and especially when we're in charge, which brings me to leadership. We spend a lot of time talking about what makes a great leader, the vision, strategy, communication, emotional intelligence, decision making. There are thousands upon thousands of books about leadership. Apparently you need 300 pages to explain how to manage a Tuesday staff meeting. But I think we've made leadership more complicated than it needs to be. Because sometimes leadership is simply how you make people feel when they are around you. Do you acknowledge them? Do you listen? Do you say thank you? Do you give people credit? When somebody makes a mistake, do you correct them or humiliate them? And here's one thing that I think really matters. How do you treat someone who can't do anything for you? I've been around leaders who can work a room beautifully. Big smile, the firm handshake, great seeing you. Then five minutes later, they're dismissive to the server bringing them coffee. So that's not leadership, that's networking. And there's a big difference. The funny thing is, kindness sometimes gets mistaken for weakness. Some leaders think they need to be tough, but you can be tough and kind. You can say no and be kind. You can hold someone accountable and be kind. You see the pattern, right? You can disagree with someone and still treat them like a human being. Kindness doesn't mean walking around the office, handing out hugs and telling everyone they're doing an amazing job. Sometimes they're not doing an amazing job. Sometimes they're doing a terrible job. Kindness doesn't require lying, it requires dignity. And maybe that's what we're really talking about. Not being quote unquote nice, being decent, because people remember that. I've forgotten plenty of meetings I've attended. I have forgotten presentations. I've forgotten what somebody's strategic priorities were for Q2. Actually, I'm pretty sure everyone forgot those. But I remember people who treated me well, and I definitely remember the people who didn't. that's the part of leadership we underestimate. People are constantly taking little mental notes about us, not necessarily when we're giving the big speech, not when we're sitting at the head of the table. They're watching the little moments. How did you react when something went wrong? How did you treat the person who interrupted you? Did you thank someone? Did you listen? Did you make somebody feel like they mattered? And here's the uncomfortable part. I'm sure I haven't always gotten this right either. I've been impatient. I've been distracted. I've probably sent a few emails that made somebody stare at their screen and think, well, apparently Ara hates me now. We all do it. So maybe the challenge isn't to become kind. Most of us already believe we're kind. The challenge is remembering to practice it when we're busy, stressed, irritated, or when there's absolutely nothing in it for us. Because leadership isn't only what happens when everyone is watching, it's What happens in those 10-second interactions nobody thinks matters. And those interactions add up. They become your reputation. They become your culture. And eventually they become the kind of leader people believe you are. So maybe we don't need another leadership book. Maybe tomorrow try something considerably less complicated. Notice somebody. Thank somebody. Give somebody a little grace. Hold the door. And for goodness sake, if somebody sends you a thoughtful email. Don't reply fine, because kindness isn't hard. Remembering to be kind is. And maybe we don't need to make the entire world a kinder place tomorrow. Maybe we just need to make the next interaction a kinder one. I'm Ara Topouzian and that's today's idea sandwich. Until next time, keep thinking, keep creating, and keep making sandwiches worth sharing.