Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 87: Getting Fired, Quitting a Job, Getting Laid Off and Changing Careers BTS On My Failures

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87: Getting Fired, Quitting a Job, Getting Laid Off and Changing Careers BTS On My Failures · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
0:01
SPEAKER_03: Did you just say play on this episode?
0:03
SPEAKER_03: Because you wanted to hear how I got fired, quit, laid off, and changed careers.
0:10
SPEAKER_03: You're so mean.
0:11
SPEAKER_03: I'm just kidding.
0:12
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure you probably opened this episode because maybe you're going through a hard time right now.
0:18
SPEAKER_03: Or maybe you've been through a hard time before, and you want to hear some real talk from someone that not just survived it, but thrived it.
0:29
SPEAKER_03: And from all of these experiences I listed in the podcast episode title that happened to me, there was one thing in common for all those experiences.
0:40
SPEAKER_03: I remember starfishing on the floor crying, feeling like I was a failure.
0:48
SPEAKER_03: Yet now I realize all those failures has actually made me the human I am today recording this episode.
0:59
SPEAKER_03: And yes, despite all these amazing awards and accolades, it's my relatability as a human that's allowed me to connect with others, whether it's loved ones, friends, and even clients.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: And in this podcast episode, I'm actually being interviewed by Lisa Gillette, the host of Grace, Grit, and Getting It Done.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: So I'm excited for you to hear me in this hot seat.
1:30
SPEAKER_03: And before we hit play, be sure to please hit that follow button.
1:36
SPEAKER_03: All right, let's drop the beat.
1:39
SPEAKER_03: Hey, I'm Elaine Lu Cartas.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: I'm a business and career coach for women of color and allies.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: Elaine Weekly awarded me the number one thought leader, and Apple News named me one of the top five business coaches.
1:53
SPEAKER_03: Done doing the most as a woman of color or ally, and you want to create your own definition of success and happiness?
2:02
SPEAKER_03: Well, grab your coffee tea or boba and let's do some business and career real talk.
2:11
SPEAKER_01: What does it take to be a true leader?
2:14
SPEAKER_01: What are the critical skills, the qualities, the mindset needed to become a transformational leader?
2:22
SPEAKER_01: And how can women leaders, particularly women of color, address the unique challenges of systemic gender bias and racial discrimination they will inevitably face as they advance in their careers?
2:36
SPEAKER_01: How can they step into a role of higher leadership without sacrificing their well-being?
2:41
SPEAKER_01: Fortunately for us, my guest today has the answers to these questions.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: Elaine Lou Cartas helps heart-led, high-performing women leaders create a legacy defined by their own terms.
2:55
SPEAKER_01: Elaine has supported over 500 women leaders in 24 countries, coaching them to create an aligned, purposeful legacy in their professional and their personal lives.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: Elaine's high-level leadership coaching skills have also led to significant financial success for her clients, including multi-six and seven-figure corporate incomes.
3:20
SPEAKER_01: Elaine has been featured in Forbes, Digital Marketer, Money, Business Insider, and HuffPost, to name just a few.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: Apple News recognized Elaine as one of the top five business coaches.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: LA Weekly named her a number one thought leader.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: MSN awarded her the title of Best Leadership and Executive Coach.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: Elaine is also a LinkedIn learning instructor.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Her course is called Using AI to make a career switch.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: And she's got a second course on the way: Identity Crisis: How to Realign Your Career with Your Life.
3:55
SPEAKER_01: Elaine, you are a rock star, and I want to personally thank you for all you're doing to empower women leaders of color and helping them advance in their careers all the way into the C-suite.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: Elaine, welcome.
4:08
SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much.
4:09
SPEAKER_03: Also, for those that listen to that incredible bio that are that we're just like, oh my gosh, this woman.
4:15
SPEAKER_03: I just want to remind people that I have failed.
4:17
SPEAKER_03: So I've also been fired three times, I've quit twice, I've left a job with no savings.
4:24
SPEAKER_03: So just know that I've had my fair share of beautiful mistakes.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: I love that because that's can we before we get into the questions?
4:34
SPEAKER_01: I just want to throw out one question, growth mindset, because you so embody it.
4:39
SPEAKER_01: It's like a mistake.
4:41
SPEAKER_01: But you know, it's taking a situation where you go, wow, that didn't really turn out the way I thought it would, and then making it a triumph.
4:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, just talk to me about your mindset, please.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, a lot of therapy.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Coaching.
4:58
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I it was interesting.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: I was doing another interview with another podcast host.
5:05
SPEAKER_03: He was like, What what made you same question?
5:07
SPEAKER_03: I was like, Do you like anxiety?
5:09
SPEAKER_03: Let me ask, let me ask you that, Lisa.
5:11
SPEAKER_03: Do you like anxiety?
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, anxiety is my middle name, but no, I hate it.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: I don't like anxiety.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: So how I solve that problem is asking for help.
5:22
SPEAKER_03: I mean, mind you, I get it sometimes for for some people, coaching and therapy is like, I don't know what this is, I'm scared of it.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: It's so finding one or two people that you feel safe enough to share with.
5:34
SPEAKER_03: And at times in my career, shout out to my former boss, Bobby Abrams.
5:38
SPEAKER_03: She was a person I was able to go to.
5:40
SPEAKER_03: And then sometimes you notice you're just tired of hearing your own bullshit over and over again as you talk to your friends going through happy hour, which has happened to me.
5:49
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, you know what?
5:50
SPEAKER_03: I can be a better friend by not talking about my problems all the time and not doing anything about it, and just hiring a coach or hiring a therapist to heal this shit and figure out what to do.
6:01
SPEAKER_03: Because I was catching myself, I'm like, oh my gosh, I sound like that friend that I go to happy hour all the time.
6:07
SPEAKER_03: And they could keep complaining about their boyfriend who clearly they needed to break up with, except I am that friend now talking about my job that I hate.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we're always hardest on ourselves, right?
6:18
SPEAKER_01: And we are we are gonna talk about that because you know, that for women, this is a big issue.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: We're always hardest on ourselves.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: But I want to kind of come back to the big question.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: And we've talked about this.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: Why is there such a lack of diversity and senior leadership, especially with women of color?
6:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:38
SPEAKER_03: So think.
6:39
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's not just think, I actually have research on it.
6:42
SPEAKER_03: So thank you.
6:44
SPEAKER_03: So I was just interviewed by Huffington Post.
6:48
SPEAKER_03: They there is a recent article and research made done in partnership with McKinsey and Company as well as Lean In, which is Cheryl Sandberg's nonprofit that helps women move up and see Sweden leadership.
7:02
SPEAKER_03: And for every 100 men promoted to manager, there is only 87 women who get promoted and less for women of color.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: And it's because of unconscious bias and performance bias.
7:18
SPEAKER_03: It's not because women are not asking.
7:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh, we are asking.
7:22
SPEAKER_03: It's just the unfortunate thing is that for companies or people in leadership, when they see men, men are assessed based off of what they could do in the future, and women are based off of what they've done in the past.
7:35
SPEAKER_03: So what is really great is if you're listening to this and you're like, Elaine, I have been asking you, show them this, show them this study by McKinsey, which is a very well-known management consulting firm.
7:48
SPEAKER_03: Like, hey, it seems like you might be part of this, you might be part of this problem of performance bias.
7:54
SPEAKER_03: Right.
7:54
SPEAKER_03: That you're assessing men based off of what they could do in the future and not for women.
7:58
SPEAKER_03: What are we going to do about this to change?
8:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's really tough when you look around and you see everybody in the C-suite is either named Bob, Dick, John, or Mike.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: They happen to be Caucasian.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: They happen to be between the ages of, say, 35 to 55.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: So if you're a woman and you're a woman of color and you even get near the C-suite, you know, in order to be there, you are really good at your job.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: Because you didn't get there by, hey, let's go play golf or hey, I I really like you.
8:27
SPEAKER_01: Let's go have a beer.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: You got as far as you got, because you are super competent.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: So when you look at women of color who are in senior leadership, you know, not only are they determined, not only are they incredibly competent, not only are they probably very empathetic, they're probably also suffering some burnout.
8:48
SPEAKER_03: They are.
8:49
SPEAKER_03: And they've had to do more to get there because of that unconscious bias, right?
8:54
SPEAKER_03: Like possibly going to an Ivy League, spending$100,000 to do an MBA, being part of a top firm management consultant, like literally doing the check marks.
9:05
SPEAKER_03: And what's unfortunate, so often when I meet clients that get to that level, they sit at that table, they see their colleagues, like, what the hell?
9:12
SPEAKER_03: Like they don't even have these check marks and not even understanding the possible value that they could provide when they speak up.
9:20
SPEAKER_03: You know, how often have we unfortunately been in those tables where you where as a woman you say something, then Dick, literally as being a dick, says the same thing.
9:30
SPEAKER_03: Dick, that is such a great idea.
9:34
unknown: Right.
9:34
SPEAKER_03: And then, and then what I remind my clients to do, I'm like, Dick, I'm so glad that you reiterated the idea that I shared five minutes ago and it made sense to the to everyone here.
9:46
SPEAKER_03: Was there anything?
9:47
SPEAKER_03: Can can you get can all of you help me understand why when Dick shared that, was there talking points that I didn't share that you didn't hear clearly?
9:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh, no, no, no, you said it was like, well, well, why don't we have a conscious conversation of how there might have been some unconscious bias?
10:05
SPEAKER_01: Right.
10:05
SPEAKER_03: I do not mind having these conversations.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, fortunately, we have the tools to teach all of us how to have that conversation so that you're seen, heard, and understood as a woman, you're immediately looked upon as a leader because female, not Caucasian, you know, the list goes on.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: So if you were gonna just give some really like boots on the ground advice to a woman who said, you know, I really feel called to leadership.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: I know I can do a better job.
10:37
SPEAKER_01: I know the world is in dire straits right now.
10:40
SPEAKER_01: We need greater diversity in senior management, we need greater perspectives, wider perspectives, we need more voices.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: What are some things you would tell to a woman, specifically a woman of color?
10:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay, here's some challenges, here's some ways you can navigate around them.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: Just really zero, ground zero advice.
10:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, and a follow-up clarity question is that if they want to be a leader within their organization or in general, general or both?
11:06
SPEAKER_01: Good.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: So let's say they want to climb the corporate ladder, and then I want you to come back and answer, no, they want to really be a leader, be a role model for women coming after them.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: Let's start with climbing the corporate ladder and then let's go into the truth of transformational leadership.
11:23
SPEAKER_03: Well, if you want to be a leader, right?
11:25
SPEAKER_03: And let's say you're within your company and you want to get to that place as a woman of color, first is well, let's see, asking yourself a hard question, one, and then two, doing some research on it is are you in an organization that could help propel you to that?
11:42
SPEAKER_03: So, how do you figure that out?
11:44
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
11:44
SPEAKER_03: Well, one is do you feel safe?
11:47
SPEAKER_03: Like, do you psychologically feel safe to have a direct conversation with your supervisor or other leaders?
11:54
SPEAKER_03: I mean, before doing anything, before having a conversation to ask yourself that question, if you feel in your body like, no, I don't feel safe, then I'm sorry to be direct with you, but it's not going to be that company or organization.
12:07
SPEAKER_03: Now, if you do feel safe, like if there is a boss that you feel safe enough to have a conversation, if you do see in leadership, and uh and so often it's like bullshit.
12:18
SPEAKER_03: A lot of companies are always like, oh my gosh, look at us.
12:21
SPEAKER_03: We're a Fortune 10 company and we're so diverse.
12:24
SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, that's in rank and file.
12:25
SPEAKER_03: I want to see C-suite.
12:27
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
12:28
SPEAKER_03: I want to see the leaders.
12:30
SPEAKER_03: So looking at leaders, C-suites, if there are also people of color there, then you know you're safe.
12:35
SPEAKER_03: And then you could have the conversation with the closest direct line of leader that you do work with and asking, like, hey, I would love to get your feedback.
12:43
SPEAKER_03: I really want to move up in leadership.
12:46
SPEAKER_03: Um, I could see myself doing A, B, C.
12:48
SPEAKER_03: What's your feedback for me?
12:49
SPEAKER_03: Can we create a roadmap to do this?
12:52
SPEAKER_03: And if they're open to having that conversation, that's great.
12:56
SPEAKER_03: If they may say something like, there's budget cuts, I don't know, things are happening.
13:01
SPEAKER_03: I know that may not feel good, but at least you know, I call them like the define the relationship, the DTR.
13:07
SPEAKER_03: You know, when you're dating someone, you're like, what are we?
13:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, at least they're having it.
13:12
SPEAKER_03: They're not gonna fire you if you're having this conversation.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: And if they do, you go find an employment lawyer because that has nothing to do with your performance in your company.
13:23
SPEAKER_03: So having that conversation, and if they say no, then you could start looking elsewhere.
13:29
SPEAKER_03: So, what happens if it may not be a safe company that you want to continue to be a leader in?
13:34
SPEAKER_03: One or two.
13:35
SPEAKER_03: What happens if they start making excuses because of budget cuts or this is just the way things are culturally?
13:42
SPEAKER_03: Well, then you could start asking yourself and looking at other companies and looking at their org chart, seeing what people are in their org charts if there is diversity in there.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: And then that's like a start of being it.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: Got it.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: Is do you hit the role model of who they're promoting?
14:00
SPEAKER_01: And then the next question is do you want to fit the role model?
14:03
SPEAKER_01: Which brings me to my next question to you.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: You coach around a lot the topic of having an identity crisis in your career.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: That I think is so true for so many women, and yet we don't really acknowledge that.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: Can you talk about that phenomena and how you coach around that?
14:21
SPEAKER_01: Because it really does exist, but many of us don't even really think of we always consider, oh, the problem must be me, not my environment.
14:29
SPEAKER_01: Talk about identity crisis in one's.
14:32
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if we have all dates talking about this.
14:36
SPEAKER_03: Well, before the phenomena, I just want to remind people what society and culture has taught us as women of what to be, right?
14:43
SPEAKER_03: So, women, we are the supporting actress.
14:47
SPEAKER_03: We are there for our family emotionally.
14:51
SPEAKER_03: Who tends to be the caregiver, the family for our aging parents?
14:54
SPEAKER_03: Women.
14:55
SPEAKER_03: Who do our kids go to when they need emotional support?
14:59
SPEAKER_03: They're moms.
15:00
SPEAKER_03: And for women, I just want to remind people because I know I I work with clients who have challenges when it comes to money.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't, it's hard for me to ask more.
15:11
SPEAKER_03: And it doesn't even mean ask more in terms of your salary, but even asking more in terms of a project that you're working on or even putting boundaries together.
15:21
SPEAKER_03: But women weren't allowed to have their own bank accounts until the 1970s.
15:26
SPEAKER_03: And then prior to that, we needed a man to co-sign with us.
15:30
SPEAKER_03: The 1970s is not that far away.
15:34
SPEAKER_03: That is what 50 years ago?
15:36
SPEAKER_03: That's not far away.
15:38
SPEAKER_03: So, so women making money is actually a revolutionary thing.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: And the concept of then putting ourselves first is also new.
15:49
SPEAKER_03: I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but just in society and culture, what was taught for us.
15:54
SPEAKER_03: And because we're thankfully, or at least in this country, we have this right and privilege to work, and we live in a capitalistic society of constant doing and being measured by productivity, we're just doing it to do the next thing.
16:08
SPEAKER_03: Then you get to this stage of like, wait, what is my life?
16:14
SPEAKER_03: What am I doing?
16:15
SPEAKER_03: Why am I constantly doing?
16:17
SPEAKER_03: Who am I proving this to?
16:19
SPEAKER_03: And then the question of what the hell do I want?
16:22
SPEAKER_03: Like, who am I?
16:24
SPEAKER_03: What am I?
16:24
SPEAKER_03: What do I want?
16:25
SPEAKER_03: Do I really want to have this next title?
16:28
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
16:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing everyone, like I'm seeing my quote unquote ladder.
16:33
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing how their personal lives look like.
16:36
SPEAKER_03: It's shit.
16:36
SPEAKER_03: They don't see their husband or wife, they don't see their kids.
16:38
SPEAKER_03: I don't want that.
16:39
SPEAKER_03: That's what I mean.
16:40
SPEAKER_03: Like, so in terms of answering the question of identity crisis, it's then realizing that you've been in this constant doing, doing in your job, doing and being the best wife, the best mother, partner, spouse, daughter, son.
16:57
SPEAKER_03: That wait, what do I want?
17:00
SPEAKER_03: And then realizing, wait, I need to honor my voice.
17:03
SPEAKER_01: I think that's so true that we are brought up to be helpmates.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: And this is the holdback when we get into positions of authority in corporate, we're looked upon as, well, you can help, but you can't have the primary seat.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: You might have a seat at the table, but it's not going to be at the head of the table.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you this.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: I know many women, especially as they get into the leadership roles, they go, you know what, I'm done with this?
17:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to go out and I'm going to start my own business.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: How would you coach them for any woman who's like, it's got to be better, I'm going to start my own business?
17:36
SPEAKER_01: What are some of the questions you would ask them?
17:38
SPEAKER_03: Well, before even like asking this, like wanting to start a business, right?
17:42
SPEAKER_03: It's just actually asking yourself these questions.
17:45
SPEAKER_03: So pen and paper, take it out.
17:47
SPEAKER_03: Or if you are driving, quickly look at the timestamp and then listen to it again so you can take notes when you get home.
17:55
SPEAKER_03: Well, what do you want out of your life?
17:57
SPEAKER_03: Like in general, and and also honor the stage of life you are in.
18:02
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I hear so often we compare ourselves, like, oh my gosh, if I was just in my 20s.
18:07
SPEAKER_03: Actually, I'm so glad I'm not in my 20s.
18:09
SPEAKER_03: I am so glad my body is telling me that I am tired and I can't be in front of a screen for X hours and I can't do all the things.
18:17
SPEAKER_03: So, what do you see your life as?
18:19
SPEAKER_03: Is that making sure you're clocking out at five?
18:22
SPEAKER_03: Like making sure you actually have weekends, not responding to emails, like what does your holistic life look like?
18:28
SPEAKER_03: And then asking, does your job support that?
18:31
SPEAKER_03: Like realistically, can your job support that?
18:35
SPEAKER_03: Is this the job company culture problem?
18:38
SPEAKER_03: Or like what is in your control?
18:40
SPEAKER_03: Or do you have control over creating boundaries because you haven't been able to enforce that?
18:44
SPEAKER_01: I think that's really brilliant.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: The deep dive.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: I want to share with our listeners that Elaine has a podcast.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: I want to, I want everybody who's listening to this podcast.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: Her podcast is called W O C and Allies Business and Career Real Talk.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: And you can also find her on LinkedIn.
19:03
SPEAKER_01: You can take her courses, which I mentioned in my open, but it's Elaine E-L A I-N-E, Lou L O U Cartus, C-A-R-T-A-S.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Find her on LinkedIn, follow her, listen to her podcast.
19:19
SPEAKER_01: Elaine, you're just like, you're resonating with me because these are these are my topics.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm like, right, when you're talking about women didn't have a right to have a bank account, purchase a car, open a loan, get a home mortgage until 1974.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: This is this is wrong, wrong.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: But we are working to change that all of that and to keep women's rights equal because women's rights are unique.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: Well, I yes, sorry, and I just have to do a plug because it's election year.
19:47
SPEAKER_03: Just please vote.
19:49
SPEAKER_03: That's all.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: Well, this is a great segue into what you're doing before you started coaching because you had a very interesting career and talk about working in a male-dominated environment.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: Share, share your first career with all of us and how you navigated that.
20:11
SPEAKER_03: I survived it.
20:12
SPEAKER_03: Once again, how I navigated therapists and coaches.
20:16
SPEAKER_03: So that's my answer.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: And by the way, if you're hearing this, like I just want you to know that it's about finding the right therapist and coach for you, if that is something you do want.
20:24
SPEAKER_03: You're here.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: So it's not about like having to work with the best.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: It's it's like dating, finding the right person that you need to work with.
20:32
SPEAKER_03: But so I did I graduated college around the recession, so 2010.
20:37
SPEAKER_03: And I am from Southern California doing this podcast episode from Los Angeles.
20:43
SPEAKER_03: And it was hard for me to find a job.
20:46
SPEAKER_03: And I was taught, I was very like heart-led, like wanting to do a service.
20:51
SPEAKER_03: So I worked on a state, my first job was statewide Senate race in Iowa.
20:57
SPEAKER_03: And and I was making a staggering$500 a month.
21:02
SPEAKER_03: But it was actually a wonderful experience.
21:05
SPEAKER_03: I was an organizer.
21:06
SPEAKER_03: I was doing 300 calls a day, organized 157 volunteers in six months.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: So I learned rejection really quick.
21:13
SPEAKER_03: I learned how to build the empathy, the relationship building.
21:16
SPEAKER_03: And then from there, I've worked on statewide, local, national campaigns in Iowa and Deanna, and Montana and New Mexico, Massachusetts.
21:24
SPEAKER_03: Not just that work experience, but I I understand that people complain about how expensive California is, but I feel like I'm very privileged to be from here and live in LA because it's so diverse.
21:35
SPEAKER_03: I didn't have similar experiences when I was in the Midwest.
21:38
SPEAKER_03: Even in the big cities in the Midwest, like I experienced a lot.
21:43
SPEAKER_03: But it was also eye-opening.
21:45
SPEAKER_03: And it taught me to be assertive and speak up for myself, advocate for myself.
21:50
SPEAKER_03: And then from there, quickly got burnt out, hired a coach, started doing informational interviews, and I landed my dream job at Patsy City College Foundation as a fundraiser.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: re raised a million dollars for about 200 scholarships.
22:05
SPEAKER_03: An amazing experience.
22:07
SPEAKER_03: And the reason why I left it is because this sounds cliche, but I wanted more.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: Like I graduated from my master's, got my leadership in management, realized, oh shit, I've been doing what everyone's told me to do.
22:19
SPEAKER_03: Like big aha, right?
22:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: Like I, if for those that work in government, you probably understand you need to get your master's or PhD so that your little salary increases in the box.
22:29
SPEAKER_03: And my salary did increase the box.
22:31
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, wait, this wasn't much.
22:34
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, hold on, what if I try to do something on my own?
22:37
SPEAKER_03: What if I became a coach because I love the coaches I worked with, my career coach, but there was also no woman of color coach I was able to find.
22:46
SPEAKER_03: So I became a coach for women of color and allies.
22:49
SPEAKER_03: And yeah, actually I was looking through my numbers, but I crossed the 700 threshold of clients that I've served today.
22:57
SPEAKER_01: So okay.
22:58
SPEAKER_01: So my numbers are wrong because I I had you at 500 so there's 700 one thing you said that I find so interesting and I saw it repeatedly in your story is that you have a natural ability to motivate and inspire others.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: You can't have that ability and not be able to fundraise to work an academia we know is pretty rigid.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh but when I talk about leadership one of the things that I always hit is that the true leader is able to motivate people to do things they didn't know how to do and inspire people to do things they didn't believe they could do.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: And even though you're not using those words, that's exactly what you were doing in your career leading up to coaching.
23:46
SPEAKER_01: So it makes complete sense that you're now an extremely successful business owner, coach, empowering coach and you're helping women of color to be leaders to step into this environment which is not always user friendly.
24:02
SPEAKER_01: It's not yeah it it is not so I just want to talk a little bit more about you and your journey what was the biggest challenge you faced and how did you navigate beyond it?
24:16
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it's like a challenge.
24:18
SPEAKER_03: I think it's an ongoing challenge in life right so I appreciate your compliments.
24:23
SPEAKER_03: I will say thank you and I receive it and I say that other woman model it hold on I'm so straight spoken and there's no fluff here.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: If I see it I say it I'm not blowing smoke I'm thinking with your apertures.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: And I wanted to say because this is being recorded thank you and I receive it because unfortunately you know like when we're like oh my God I love your jacket thanks it was on sale Nordstrom rack like just say thank you.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh we have to talk about that wait before we even go to the ongoing challenge we know that women are mostly not comfortable accepting compliments because we've been told keep your head down do your job and you will get rewarded and we know that is BS.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: So how do you coach a client around the oh it's nothing or oh anybody could do this now how do you break that habit?
25:16
SPEAKER_03: It's it's a hard I mean you know what educating just like what I was explaining earlier right like women couldn't get a job we were taught to like be really polite.
25:25
SPEAKER_03: I understand where did that get us nowhere in the top of the row right I mean I'll I'll just share a hilarious story and then I'll talk I think you asked me a question about motivation.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: If you can't tell we are just having a ball with this podcast episode and alcohol involved either we're I know no this is completely water come on completely sober.
25:46
SPEAKER_03: I am drinking I am drinking non-caffeinated tea not even caffeinated non-caffeinated there's a quote on it but I remember when I think I was four right and so this was early 90s late 80s and back then I think like if men just normally had their shirts off when they're driving so my dad had his shirt off right and and you know as a kid you model your parents so I like take my shirt off at four.
26:19
SPEAKER_03: My mom yells at me you can't take your shirt off like I why you just can and she just did not explain it to me.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: Now there's beautiful gentle parenting that's happening from our generation which I know I unfortunately would have to explain oh well based off gender bias like yeah so my mom yeah my mom never explained it to me so I was just having a tantrum so it's just you know it's just hilarious just you see how society and culture is in this stuff.
26:49
SPEAKER_03: So it's like actually just say thank you and own it because when you're when you have your annual review when you're gonna ask for a raise you have to showcase like what have you done in the past year.
27:00
SPEAKER_03: And so an action item for everybody if you don't have this yet I know people have different terms for it but have I'm gonna call it what it is have a brag sheet an ongoing brag sheet yes everything that you have done.
27:12
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
27:12
SPEAKER_03: And then right before your annual review print your job description print that brag sheet showcase how you've been doing all of it and above and if you realize oh shit I'm doing two jobs print job descriptions from other companies you're doing and like hey just help me understand thank you for the past three years.
27:30
SPEAKER_03: Like I've been able to accomplish this exceed goals this but it seems like I'm also doing another job.
27:36
SPEAKER_03: I want to show you other competitors where they have other positions doing this.
27:41
SPEAKER_03: So can we talk about how I can have a raise or maybe you don't even want to raise maybe you're just like I should not be doing this job.
27:47
SPEAKER_03: Can we talk about how we could have another role of doing this instead like no okay well let's talk about how we can have a raise and then decrease my responsibilities because I'm doing two jobs.
27:56
SPEAKER_03: Going back to the inspire and the motivation what I've done about challenges going back to the original question.
28:01
SPEAKER_03: It's funny you were asked you were giving me that compliment which I've received because I was thinking about when I was starfishing on the floor crying when I found out that I didn't receive because I was an interim develop fundraising manager at Passe City College so I had to apply for my own job.
28:19
SPEAKER_03: My boss who I love Bobby Abam shout out to her she just got a new job at Santa Barbara community college foundation anyways so I had to interview for that job didn't get it so I was starfishing crying and and then I will be honest I mean you know this Lisa there are times in my business where I'm like what the hell like I'm maybe I should look for a job or maybe I should do this even throughout my career.
28:47
SPEAKER_03: And I the biggest challenge is not one moment.
28:50
SPEAKER_03: The biggest challenge in my life and I'm pretty sure a lot of people could relate it it's been a conversation I've had this past week with a lot of clients is honoring my voice.
28:58
SPEAKER_03: Like how am I honoring my voice at this current stage of life two years ago in my business I was burnt out because I was being caught up on what these other coaches were doing like wait hold on hold on what do I want to do I I just want to serve I don't need to rent a Rolls Royce and pretend that I'm like the other coaches.
29:20
SPEAKER_03: I just want to serve my clients and let me just have my client results speak for themselves.
29:24
SPEAKER_03: If you check my LinkedIn out I have like incredible results.
29:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah legacy leader I know what you're thinking Elaine you have such good stuff here I want more so if you want more tips and advice for your business career in life sign up for my gifts and gifts newsletter at ElaineLou.com forward slash join.
29:47
SPEAKER_03: That's J-O-I-N.
29:49
SPEAKER_03: And here's three things you'll get when you join because I'm like Santa Claus I love giving number one funny gifts because who doesn't love memes and pop culture references?
30:01
SPEAKER_03: This newsletter is so fetch.
30:03
SPEAKER_03: Number two, receive actionable gifts that's business, career and life tips that you can start doing today.
30:10
SPEAKER_03: Third, the gift of me not only to get my wins but also my failures, my reflections.
30:18
SPEAKER_03: My gifts and gifts newsletter is like an up-to-date diary.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: Think Zenga or Life Journal for my fellow millennials where I share vulnerable stories, relatable mistakes and important life tips like what to watch on Netflix like when's the next Bridgerton season.
30:35
SPEAKER_03: So if you're ready for those fun gifts and actionable gifts to create a more sustainable life then join my newsletter at ElaineLou.com forward slash join.
30:47
SPEAKER_03: That's J-O-I-N.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: All right let's get back to the episode and for everybody listening one I always say this you don't have to do it alone if you want to advance in your career or start your own business.
31:00
SPEAKER_01: Get an expert and two ask them what their process is and how many clients have successfully followed it to achieve the results that were promised for everybody.
31:12
SPEAKER_03: Because coaching is you know also yeah please add you got enough no I I want to add I'm just I'm gonna warn you I'm gonna make you laugh and it's gonna be inappropriate but I know you'll put the explicit E.
31:24
SPEAKER_03: So Lisa and I were just talking about it but a huge problem I will just be transparent in this coaching industry is seeing these big names right and that they're all self-promoting.
31:34
SPEAKER_03: Like I just had a client who worked with one of them not sharing the name and she's like I thought this person was great.
31:40
SPEAKER_03: I was like what made you think that they're great well everyone was talking about them.
31:44
SPEAKER_03: Okay well who's everyone well the other names I'm like well that's because they're actually doing an affiliate business model and the question to ask is their client results and client testimonials because the model you're seeing is circle jerk of coaches who are just cross promoting one another like actually look at the results and even ask and let's say they're not a big name that you want to hire whatever coach whether it's even me or Lisa ask hey can I talk to one of your clients I remember asking that from a coach that I was considering to hire like oh I don't do that I'm like red flag big red flag they're not willing because yeah there's the confidentiality issue.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes yes and definitely but but you know and we would ask our former clients for permission if they could talk of course of of course but you know what it there's the client the potential client is not asking what did you talk around the potential client is asking did you get the results you were promised?
32:44
SPEAKER_01: Where were you?
32:45
SPEAKER_01: What did you need help with and did you get the results you were promised you know the potential client is not saying oh my God so HR saw that you got slapped at the ass by the chairman of the board and they did nothing they're not asking those questions.
32:58
SPEAKER_01: By the way that did happen to me not that I'm sharing it.
33:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah anyway so I I want to ask you Elaine something that you know I think a lot of listeners would really like to hear it's when you're having and this is part of your teaching when you have a conscious conversation because you impress me as someone who is always really very clear on your highest intentions and making sure that your actions align with them and you have a concept that you teach around called having a conscious conversation how would any listener, how do you teach that to your clients?
33:33
SPEAKER_01: Can you go through that process because I think this is just yeah mind blowing and so empowering.
33:40
SPEAKER_03: Well let me first explain what conscious conversations is so conscious conversations just think of it as another term of difficult conversations that we often want to avoid.
33:50
SPEAKER_03: And so I know we're talking conscious conversations in a way um career and professional but if we think about it personally if you're in a relationship with your partner and something has happened, you have that conscious conversation and then usually what happens is some like amazing love making.
34:08
SPEAKER_03: Well I'm not saying that's gonna happen at work but like what I'm trying to say in the personal life is when you have that conscious conversation with your partner or romantic partner, you end up having this common understanding of one another like oh that's why they react the way they do they were raised this way or I didn't see it from their perspective.
34:24
SPEAKER_03: So I just want to share that personal analogy because it kind of helps with work.
34:29
SPEAKER_03: So with work it's before even having the conscious conversation I just want to make sure you are asking that question once again going back to psychological safety do you even feel safe enough to ask this question or this goal to this other person.
34:44
SPEAKER_03: Like I'm working with a client right now he does not feel safe around his boss his boss is the oh my God I'm such a good ally but just does not have great behaviors of it and he knows that if he were to give feedback he would be gaslit.
35:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah so he does not have that conversation with her.
35:04
SPEAKER_03: So I'm not saying you need to have it all the time like you think people are going to change all the time just ask yourself if you're safe.
35:10
SPEAKER_03: If you do you feel safe enough then it is ask be able to frame the question where you're asking so you could better understand the other person.
35:19
SPEAKER_03: Or if you want to even give them feedback like hey I want to give you feedback when you did state this at a meeting it actually came up as a microaggression and this is why and I just want to share that with you so you could work on it.
35:32
SPEAKER_03: Like I remember when I was I was at this job and I was working with a consultant and every single time I did a good job he would say like oh good girl he was like good girl I'm like yeah exactly your reaction that's how I felt in my body I I felt that in my body but I didn't show it I hope I had a really good poker face.
35:53
SPEAKER_03: I don't know and and I told my boss who I respected like hey I just want to let you know Dick that's not his name that's not his real name but we're gonna use it for this name yes we are yes it does I just want to let you know that Dick would always say good girl when I I do something great and it's just condescending and it makes me feel like a dog.
36:16
SPEAKER_03: And he was like okay and then my boss didn't do anything about it while at the same time I know that my boss at the time is not responsible for providing that feedback and I reflected you know what I think I need to give them feedback.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah so there was a meeting and a group meeting and I just told Dick Hey Dick do you mind if you stay after I want to talk to you about something so everyone left the door closed I'm like you know Dick I really appreciate you talk like us working together and mind you I've never had any issues or challenges with Dick.
36:48
SPEAKER_03: So that's what I want to share I felt psychologically safe with this person.
36:51
SPEAKER_03: So I I let him know hey when you say like good girl it comes off condescending and it makes me feel like I'm a dog.
37:01
SPEAKER_03: And he had the slide problem and he's like oh my God I never realized that whenever I worked with a young woman like you I would give that compliment or I I thought it was a compliment and mind you that's another step being unattached to the result and the response that is another step.
37:19
SPEAKER_03: Which is important right yeah and so he took the feedback he said thank you and he stopped saying it and at the time I want to say he was in his 60s when I gave this feedback to him but what that made me realize like oh my God he's what had a career for 40 years he's obviously worked with other women he's said this before and no one has shared this with him and I was probably the first one that shared that with him and he's changed that behavior.
37:47
SPEAKER_03: Like it was actually eye-opening the importance of having a conscious conversation of being direct with someone if you feel psychologically safe with someone.
37:57
SPEAKER_01: Right.
37:58
SPEAKER_01: And that is the criteria but how interesting though that you were able once you you knew okay I can have this conversation to say it.
38:07
SPEAKER_01: And that kind of speaks to all our listeners if you do feel psychologically safe and you make a comment you can make things better not only for yourself but for every woman following after you because here's a 60 year old guy who thought he was doing something supported and until he was told he didn't realize how it really sounded how it really ended.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: So for many women who might be listening at this point I know a lot of us and I've fallen into this too where it's like I'm tough I can handle it.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna brush it off I'm just gonna make a comment like oh dude that's a stupid comment but when you can actually say something and make a difference for every woman coming after you kind of empowers all of us to go ahead and say that thing we're a little uncomfortable saying but to Elaine's point if you don't feel psychologically safe there's no upside.
39:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah there's no upside I also want to share the opposite end of it too when I have received it because I'm not perfect.
39:08
SPEAKER_03: So I've said things yeah I've said things so so when I notice someone gives me feedback or have has the conscious conversation with me like and and that I'm actually receiving it and I agree because there are times when people give me feedback and I don't agree with them.
39:24
SPEAKER_03: So of course I'm like I often just reply thank you for feeling safe enough to share this feedback with me.
39:32
SPEAKER_03: What a great affirmation like I I think people forget to say thank you.
39:37
SPEAKER_03: It's actually important because how I when I've started new jobs and even with clients now that I'm a coach I let people know I really want you to be direct with me when you do see a challenge if maybe because we're human I might say something and does it come off right please let me know.
39:58
SPEAKER_01: So important so let me just throw this in because this is a question I don't want to lose it.
40:03
SPEAKER_01: If you could give your younger self advice what would you want to tell yourself?
40:07
SPEAKER_01: And it goes back to the theme that we were talking about like hey what do you want?
40:12
SPEAKER_01: Not what do you think you should be doing because everybody has told you that's what you should want what you really want and can you give yourself permission to not only say yes I want that and then go ask for it whatever you need whatever the resources do you need the training yeah yeah so important so important you have a very special offer for listeners.
40:38
SPEAKER_01: One just say how can listeners contact you because they're gonna want to speak to you Elaine just play out the easiest way they can reach you and then I want to talk about your special gift.
40:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah so if you want to reach me find me on LinkedIn so I know that you spelled it out earlier but just in case it's it's gonna be in the show notes as well.
40:59
SPEAKER_03: So just know that click on the link.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: So it's Elaine Lou Garthas so it's E L A I N E and then Lou L O U and then Garth C A R T A S.
41:09
SPEAKER_03: So contact me there.
41:11
SPEAKER_03: Our conversation's pretty much very similar to my own podcast so look up business and career real talk and any streaming platform so that's how you can find me.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh so please share this this that I mean this is priceless.
41:27
SPEAKER_01: Talk about gifts that you're you're off.
41:30
SPEAKER_03: So if you are possibly interested in wanting to work with me I always do do a complimentary call.
41:37
SPEAKER_03: So if you want to schedule a career audit call with me where we look at your goals and challenges and I give you at least three aligned actions towards your career you could schedule a call with me at elanelu.com forward slash call that's E-L A I N E L O U.com forward slash call.
41:57
SPEAKER_01: That is one of the biggest gifts because we know so many times and we talk we talked about this before we actually started recording there are many people out there who are calling themselves coaches who have no real leadership coaches who have no real leadership experience.
42:12
SPEAKER_01: Let me just call it out and I see that a lot and I know that you were in positions where you led teams you were responsible for big budgets I mean and you know anybody who is good at cold cold calling God my hat's off to them but you have been in very important leadership roles and we know a lot of coaches when you get on a call with them it's kind of nice and you walk away and go, well what did I get?
42:38
SPEAKER_01: But to walk away from a call and to actually have three action steps that you can actually start making the change and creating a difference and understanding what it is you really want to do with your life oh my God I I just thank goddess that's all that's all I can say.
42:55
SPEAKER_01: If there was one message that you really wanted listeners to understand from our conversation today, what would that message be?
43:05
SPEAKER_03: You get to define your own definition of success and happiness and be okay that it will continuously evolve.
43:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah so if I would paraphrase that it's stop the self-judgment oh my gosh we haven't talked about the inner critic the whole voice that goes up at the most inopportunity the itty bitty shetty committee that's what I call that's the one that's the one I mean some people refer to it as imposter syndrome which is kind of a subset but I want to share with all listeners if you suffer from imposter syndrome guess what you're a high achiever because that voice wouldn't be so loud and cranky unless you were a perfectionist driving yourself to always over deliver.
43:51
SPEAKER_01: So let's just acknowledge that so what did you call it the itty bitty shitty committee oh my God so not my term I heard
44:00
SPEAKER_03: Not my term, do not coin it for me.
44:01
SPEAKER_03: It's from someone else.
44:02
SPEAKER_03: I have no idea who it is, but thank you for the first term.
44:05
SPEAKER_01: That is awesome.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: So let's just talk about that for a minute, because we all have that voice.
44:12
SPEAKER_01: Some of us much louder than others.
44:14
SPEAKER_01: I've got the feedback loop.
44:15
SPEAKER_01: And yeah.
44:16
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
44:17
SPEAKER_01: How do you coach clients around that?
44:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:20
SPEAKER_03: I mean, also not a therapist, right?
44:23
SPEAKER_03: So if it's like you want to get rid of it, then definitely work with a therapist.
44:28
SPEAKER_03: Go to psycholytoday.com and then you could find therapists and you could do it based off of specific things.
44:34
SPEAKER_03: So there's a plug-in for therapy there.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: But for coaches, it's actually helping you to hit a goal.
44:41
SPEAKER_03: But I would just ask my clients if I was working with you, like, okay, when did you start realizing that?
44:48
SPEAKER_03: How old were you when you started realizing that that was there?
44:51
SPEAKER_03: Right.
44:51
SPEAKER_03: Just so they know that they it's been there for a long time.
44:53
SPEAKER_03: And usually it's like five or seven when they're young.
44:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, kids.
44:57
SPEAKER_03: Small kids.
44:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:59
SPEAKER_03: So it's been there for a long time.
45:01
SPEAKER_03: I literally did this coaching session with a client.
45:03
SPEAKER_03: So it's hilarious you asked me that.
45:05
SPEAKER_03: So okay, it's five or seven.
45:07
SPEAKER_03: So tell me a time when you were dealing with this and and how you felt and what did you do to honor it?
45:15
SPEAKER_03: And so my client, when I was doing the session, she was like, Oh, well, I want to go on a trip, but I felt really nervous.
45:23
SPEAKER_03: I was like, okay, so is the feeling of nervous happens when you when it shows up?
45:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:30
SPEAKER_03: Okay, so what made you decide that you wanted to go on this trip?
45:35
SPEAKER_03: Well, I knew I wanted to, but I could hear like this voice of, well, you should be working.
45:40
SPEAKER_03: You shouldn't have to go on a trip.
45:41
SPEAKER_03: Whose voice is that?
45:43
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's my parents.
45:45
SPEAKER_03: Okay, what's your voice saying into that?
45:47
SPEAKER_03: Well, I I want to go on a trip.
45:49
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
45:50
SPEAKER_03: We'll note that.
45:52
SPEAKER_03: So when you go through situations, and I'm not saying your feelings can be nervous, it might be a different feeling.
45:59
unknown: Right.
45:59
SPEAKER_03: Right?
45:59
SPEAKER_03: What is that feeling?
46:00
SPEAKER_03: Where is it in your body?
46:02
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
46:02
SPEAKER_03: It's like, okay, they, oh, hey, see you again.
46:05
SPEAKER_03: What's up?
46:06
SPEAKER_03: So yeah.
46:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, acknowledge it's there.
46:10
SPEAKER_03: What are what are the thoughts coming in?
46:13
SPEAKER_03: And then it will help pen to paper.
46:15
SPEAKER_03: Like literally, pens paper just helps.
46:17
SPEAKER_03: Like, okay, the thought is, well, you shouldn't be doing that because ABC, okay, what what voice is this?
46:22
SPEAKER_03: Okay, nope, that's that's someone else's voice.
46:24
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
46:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh, this is my voice.
46:26
SPEAKER_03: This is what I want to do.
46:27
SPEAKER_03: So that's how I coach my clients to it.
46:29
SPEAKER_03: But I will say, I went to therapy in it because it was really hard for me to distinguish, like which one is my voice?
46:36
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, and honoring it.
46:38
SPEAKER_03: So there is a lot of healing I had to do.
46:41
SPEAKER_03: So I just wanted to be transparent.
46:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:44
SPEAKER_01: I think there's a lot of healing all of us need to do.
46:46
SPEAKER_01: And for listeners who are going, well, do I need a coach?
46:48
SPEAKER_01: Do I need a therapist?
46:50
SPEAKER_01: The ICF definition is coaches help people who are functioning reach an even higher level of functioning and fulfillment.
47:00
SPEAKER_01: Whereas psychiatrists, therapists, psychologists are really helping people deal with things that happened in the past that are keeping them from really functioning in the present.
47:11
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, for those of us who want to advance in our careers, this is something you could talk to Elaine about, especially someone on her level, because she has got so many tools and so many processes.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: And she did this herself.
47:28
SPEAKER_01: She ascended the leadership ladder.
47:30
SPEAKER_01: So for anybody listening who's thinking about a coach, get an expert and also ask what's the process?
47:36
SPEAKER_01: Who else have you helped?
47:37
SPEAKER_01: What are the results?
47:38
SPEAKER_01: And I got any clients I can speak to.
47:40
SPEAKER_01: Those are all legitimate questions before you pay, you know, the price of admission to get a coach.
47:46
SPEAKER_01: I have a coach and I have a therapist.
47:49
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, trifecta.
47:52
SPEAKER_01: Thank goodness, right?
47:54
SPEAKER_01: Thank goodness.
47:55
SPEAKER_01: So, Elaine, you've got two classes, one about to launch and one you're already launching.
48:00
SPEAKER_01: Just talk about the motivation for creating your classes on LinkedIn Learning, because I think it's brilliant.
48:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
48:08
SPEAKER_01: And just talk about your process and what reader listeners could expect if they wanted to take either one of those classes.
48:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:16
SPEAKER_03: So the LinkedIn Learning course that's out live right now, maybe the second one will be out by the time this goes live.
48:23
SPEAKER_03: I am not sure.
48:24
SPEAKER_03: One is called Using AI to make a career switch.
48:26
SPEAKER_03: And then the second one is called Identity Crisis, how to realign your career with your life.
48:32
SPEAKER_03: I will say that the process comes from my personal experience and how I've been able to help my hundreds of clients go through it.
48:39
SPEAKER_03: As a lot of people are familiar with, during the recession, there was a great resignation.
48:44
SPEAKER_03: People quit their jobs and who quit their jobs because they hated and they want to even completely change industries or even start their own business.
48:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:53
SPEAKER_03: But re the pandemic was real at the same time.
48:56
SPEAKER_03: It also kind of gave us a gift being stuck in our walls of like, what do I want?
49:01
SPEAKER_03: Who am I?
49:02
SPEAKER_03: Right.
49:02
SPEAKER_03: We were talking about identity crisis earlier.
49:05
SPEAKER_03: So I actually give you steps, right?
49:07
SPEAKER_03: Similar to what I've shared in this podcast episode.
49:09
SPEAKER_03: So I kind of did like a little appetizer here of like, what is your holistic life?
49:14
SPEAKER_03: Like, look at the different parts of it.
49:16
SPEAKER_03: How do you want your life to look like?
49:18
SPEAKER_03: And then if you want to explore a different industry or job, what steps you can do?
49:22
SPEAKER_03: So I talk about looking at your network, doing informational interviews.
49:26
SPEAKER_03: It's what I did when I wanted to get out of politics and go into the nonprofit sector and make my first six figures.
49:30
SPEAKER_03: And then how you could actually so often I hear from people, oh my God, I want to change industries, but like my whole resume and LinkedIn is like all this.
49:39
SPEAKER_03: I was like, well, you could frame and change the words according to a specific job.
49:44
SPEAKER_03: And I show you that process of it.
49:46
SPEAKER_03: And guess what?
49:47
SPEAKER_03: Like you could take this course for free because there's a 30-day trial.
49:52
SPEAKER_03: LinkedIn will ask for your credit card.
49:54
SPEAKER_03: So you could take the trial.
49:56
SPEAKER_03: Or if you just want to buy the course, it's$24.99.
49:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
49:59
SPEAKER_01: No, it should like$499.
50:04
SPEAKER_01: So to all listeners, here's one thing you really want to get clear on.
50:08
SPEAKER_01: Talk with a coach who's actually experienced what it is you want to do and has gone through it themselves and has been successful at it.
50:16
SPEAKER_01: Those are the questions you want to be asking.
50:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:18
SPEAKER_01: So important.
50:19
SPEAKER_01: And you have.
50:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I've been through your LinkedIn profile, I've been on your website, I see your methodology and you've got one.
50:27
SPEAKER_01: And I am very process-oriented and and you are very clear in your process about take these steps, and this is where you this is the destination you will arrive at.
50:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I also want to remind people, whether it's me, Lisa, or another coach, like I will take you through these steps, ask questions.
50:45
SPEAKER_03: I want to remind you that you have choice and agency.
50:48
SPEAKER_03: So I always let my clients know, like, hey, here's my I do a mix of coaching and consulting because if it was true, coaching would just be all questions.
50:55
SPEAKER_03: So I do a mix.
50:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm just being transparent of I do coaching consulting.
50:59
SPEAKER_03: So I just I remember talking to someone who wanted to work with me.
51:03
SPEAKER_03: And she said, I was always like the A plus student with all the coaches I work with.
51:07
SPEAKER_03: And when I got on a call with her, I'm like, I don't want you to be the A plus student working with me or any other coach.
51:13
SPEAKER_03: I actually want you to show up and making sure your voice is being honored.
51:17
SPEAKER_03: So question I always ask going through the process with clients is does this resonate with you or not?
51:22
SPEAKER_03: And I don't want you to people please me because this coaching is for you and not for me.
51:27
SPEAKER_03: And so when clients like, oh, I really don't want that, I'm like, okay, so how do you want that?
51:32
SPEAKER_03: Or what do you not like about it?
51:33
SPEAKER_03: So you have choice in agency.
51:35
SPEAKER_03: I want to kind of give a history lesson.
51:38
SPEAKER_03: I want to remind everybody that we kind of still unfortunately live in this industrial revolution.
51:45
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
51:46
SPEAKER_03: Like Ford Company doing things by the clock, putting like tires in, 12-hour days, like constant doing.
51:55
SPEAKER_03: Like American culture and capitalism has taught us to constantly be doing, that we get so tired we're not thinking about what we want to be or do.
52:03
SPEAKER_03: A really beautiful book is called What to Read is Rest is Resistance by Trisha Hershey.
52:10
SPEAKER_03: Oh my God.
52:11
SPEAKER_03: That book was transformational.
52:13
SPEAKER_03: But this culture, this country and society has taught us to constantly work so we never question what is happening.
52:20
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
52:21
SPEAKER_03: And that is what's happening right now.
52:23
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I know it's like scary.
52:24
SPEAKER_03: We see and we see these movements and parades, but it's but actually also that's what this country was also made out of, too.
52:31
SPEAKER_03: There's also that positive of being able to speak up with our voice.
52:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
52:37
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm just gonna say what the message is I'm taking away.
52:41
SPEAKER_01: And then I want you to add your closing thoughts.
52:44
SPEAKER_01: But I'm hearing that really to be in alignment with your career and your personal life, and to avoid that burnout, that desolation, that sort of numbness that comes from that, no, no, I'm okay.
52:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing, keep my head down.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: To prevent that burnout, you have to one, truly honor what it is you want, understand it, not get caught up in this is what society is telling me I should want.
53:11
SPEAKER_01: Truly do understand it.
53:13
SPEAKER_01: And then use your voice as the empowering tool it can be to really speak and stand in your truth.
53:20
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to hear your closing thoughts because this has been by far one of my favorite podcasts.
53:26
SPEAKER_01: It has been.
53:27
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I could talk to you for like five hours.
53:30
SPEAKER_00: I really well, if all of you really like this podcast episode, let Lisa know.
53:35
SPEAKER_03: So if she well, actually, so you already told me that I was gonna come on again.
53:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're totally coming on again because we have a lot more to talk about.
53:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
53:43
SPEAKER_03: Uh closing thoughts.
53:45
SPEAKER_03: You know what?
53:46
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I've shared a lot of tips.
53:48
SPEAKER_03: I know Lisa has shared a lot of tips, not just in this episode and in this podcast.
53:53
SPEAKER_03: It is okay if something doesn't feel good for you.
53:56
SPEAKER_03: Like, I actually want to remind listeners to feel in and ask yourself what you want.
54:01
SPEAKER_03: Like, for example, my boyfriend's like, why don't you like olives?
54:05
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I hate olives.
54:06
SPEAKER_03: I will never like olives.
54:07
SPEAKER_03: I am anti-ollives.
54:09
SPEAKER_03: It is just my thing.
54:10
SPEAKER_03: See, I know who I am, anti-ollives.
54:12
SPEAKER_03: Now, didn't mean to get political with this podcast episode, but I know who I am, you know?
54:17
SPEAKER_01: And you stand in your conviction.
54:19
SPEAKER_01: And again, I want to say, and this is something I tell my clients, what is your highest intention?
54:25
SPEAKER_01: Are your actions in alignment with your highest intentions?
54:28
SPEAKER_01: Why do you think they're not?
54:30
SPEAKER_01: Or what are you doing to commit to make sure that they are?
54:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
54:34
SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna be TMI right now.
54:36
SPEAKER_03: So I mean, I am privileged that I do have my business.
54:39
SPEAKER_03: But for example, I was at the gym, I was planning to be there for an hour.
54:42
SPEAKER_03: I was there listening to your podcast episodes prior to hitting record for this, and I was fine to be there for an hour, but then had cramps.
54:50
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, oh my gosh, I just stayed there for 30 minutes.
54:53
SPEAKER_03: And long and behold, Auntie Flo, aka period came, kind of knew it.
54:58
SPEAKER_03: But my body just couldn't.
54:59
SPEAKER_03: I was just like, I just don't want to.
55:02
SPEAKER_03: And that's how I honored myself, like a small little thing.
55:05
SPEAKER_01: So action could also be not doing, action could be exactly giving yourself permission to say, I want to time out.
55:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:15
SPEAKER_01: Which points to what you said just earlier about we're so part of that.
55:19
SPEAKER_01: We must be doing, doing, doing, and doing for others.
55:22
SPEAKER_01: And we put ourselves and our own needs at the very back of the line.
55:26
SPEAKER_01: Boy, that's a topic for next time when we talk.
55:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
55:29
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me on.
55:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh my this was my absolute pleasure.
55:34
SPEAKER_01: So, for all listeners, find Elaine on LinkedIn.
55:38
SPEAKER_01: There are so many resources.
55:39
SPEAKER_01: It's Elaine Lou Karthas, Elaine E-L-A-I-N-E, Lou L O U Karthas, C A R T A S.
55:49
SPEAKER_01: You can also Google her website, her website's on her LinkedIn profile.
55:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there are so many, it's just a wealth of resources.
55:57
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just really honored that you agreed to be on my podcast.
56:00
SPEAKER_01: And this was just an awesome episode.
56:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, really, it was like so impactful.
56:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm so glad.
56:09
SPEAKER_03: I enjoyed it.
56:10
SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me on.
56:11
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely my pleasure.
56:12
SPEAKER_03: Until we talk again.
56:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
56:17
SPEAKER_03: So I hope you enjoyed listening to me as an interviewee where I shared my lessons, mistakes, and failures.
56:26
SPEAKER_03: And if you found this episode helpful, here are four things you can do if you feel called to do them.
56:32
SPEAKER_03: Number one, please leave a five-star rating and review.
56:36
SPEAKER_03: That would mean a lot to me and my team.
56:39
SPEAKER_03: My team and I created this podcast for accessible education for women of color and allies.
56:44
SPEAKER_03: And each episode takes about four hours to create.
56:47
SPEAKER_03: It takes me one hour to prep and another 30 minutes to one hour to record.
56:52
SPEAKER_03: Then my team spends another two hours to edit and market.
56:56
SPEAKER_03: Number two, because I care about accessible education, share this with a friend who's going through a hard time and they need to hear from someone that made it through the breakdown to a breakthrough.
57:11
SPEAKER_03: Number three, don't forget to hit the follow button.
57:15
SPEAKER_03: Because when you do, it lets the interwebs know how important this podcast is to women of color and allies like you.
57:24
SPEAKER_03: And number four, if you would like to create and realign your career or business by your own definition and you want to work with me, who's gone through it all, the mistakes and the successes, then schedule an introductory legacy business and career review call at elenelew.com forward slash call.
57:47
SPEAKER_03: I only work with 24 clients at one time to ensure each client receives the results they deserve.
57:54
SPEAKER_03: So schedule that call at elanelu.com forward slash call.
57:59
SPEAKER_03: That's E L A I N E L O U.com forward slash call.