Latest / Mommywood / The Heart of Silly Miss Lily with Lily B Coco

Transcript

The Heart of Silly Miss Lily with Lily B Coco · Mommywood

• 0:02
  On this episode of Mommy Wood, I have the pleasure of talking
• 0:06
  with the amazing Lily B Coco. She is the creator behind Silly
• 0:10
  Miss Lily and Paisley's Corner, so if you're a parent, you and
• 0:13
  your kids probably already adore her and her amazing, engaging
• 0:18
  teaching videos. If you don't know her yet, make
• 0:22
  sure you check her out. I will add the link in the show
• 0:27
  notes because her videos are just so wonderful.
• 0:30
  Wonderful and fun and educational.
• 0:33
  In this episode, we get a little behind the scenes of Silly Miss
• 0:37
  Lily, and Lily shares about how she built this wonderful,
• 0:42
  colorful world of learning and what it's really like creating
• 0:46
  content for kids while raising her own.
• 0:49
  She also talks about the unexpected ways motherhood
• 0:51
  inspired her to step into this. Role.
• 0:54
  She also is very open, honest and candid about experiences
• 0:59
  that she has gone through in her life, which I really appreciate
• 1:03
  her being so vulnerable and sharing with me.
• 1:08
  And I know you're going to love this episode.
• 1:11
  So Lily is so I want to call her silly Miss Lily.
• 1:14
  She's so warm and full of wisdom and just such a a joyous
• 1:21
  presence. It was so lovely getting to talk
• 1:24
  to her. And I know you're going to love
• 1:26
  this episode of Mommy Would with Lily B.
• 1:30
  Coco. Thank you for being here Lily.
• 1:33
  I'm so excited to chat with you. I want to call you silly, Miss
• 1:37
  Lily. I, you know, sometimes I do like
• 1:42
  my personal little podcast and I'll be like, hi, it's me.
• 1:44
  And then I'm like, oh, silly Miss Flula's in the mix.
• 1:47
  I. Bet, I bet it's hard to like
• 1:52
  keep those separate a little bit, huh?
• 1:55
  I mean, it's you, but right? You know, it's goodness.
• 2:01
  I think it's it's hard 'cause I feel like like silly missile is
• 2:05
  like a character essentially, right.
• 2:08
  This like online fun teacher that like, you know, we wanted
• 2:11
  to be like you're just hanging out in the playroom and having,
• 2:15
  you know, we're learning through play, but it's based so, so, so
• 2:21
  much of what we do here at home. And so I just feel like it's me
• 2:28
  playing with my kids, right? But it's like, you know, I
• 2:33
  finally got before I start out with like random shirts and
• 2:36
  random outfits and then I was like, I need like a uniform of
• 2:38
  some sort more So just because the laundry overload got ahead.
• 2:41
  So I just like if I just have something a little more
• 2:43
  concrete. And so it became the blue shirt,
• 2:46
  the yellow overalls, which is so kind of fun and silly, but it's
• 2:52
  all based of just how we kind of play at home.
• 2:56
  And I was thinking about this earlier because I saw one of
• 2:59
  your reels because you were chitchat.
• 3:01
  I think you did a trend. Is it?
• 3:03
  I have four daughters. I don't understand kind of
• 3:06
  thing, right. And so, and you were talking
• 3:08
  about the difficulties of being an actor and that kind of
• 3:12
  negativity that often comes with it where people will question of
• 3:14
  like, I got it. I used to act a little bit in my
• 3:18
  20s. And so I got a little bit of it
• 3:19
  of like, well, what's your real job or when are you going to get
• 3:22
  a real job or what are you, is this just a hobby or is this,
• 3:25
  you know, this whole thing? And so I, I founded that, that
• 3:32
  part very irritating. And there's so many difficulties
• 3:38
  with acting and stuff that I'd love to chit chat with you about
• 3:40
  and everything. But something you share a lot of
• 3:44
  is the self tapes. And I find those to be very
• 3:46
  difficult. I found those to be very
• 3:48
  difficult at that time. And it's such a blessing when
• 3:52
  you can find a, a partner who will read with you to give you a
• 3:55
  little bit of something, right? Because you're just like,
• 3:57
  especially it's like an emotional scene or a big seat,
• 3:59
  right? But I remember often I'd have
• 4:02
  like a roommate or something just to help me.
• 4:04
  And it's like reading flat. And so when this whole journey
• 4:08
  started, it's been such a progress.
• 4:10
  But I feel like I'm kind of filming these self tapes because
• 4:13
  I'm just playing to the camera and I'm like 1234, what's this
• 4:19
  color? No one responds because it's
• 4:20
  just the camera on a tripod. And I'm just like.
• 4:24
  Yeah, I love seeing you're behind the scenes a little bit
• 4:27
  sometimes that you post as well where it's like, and then I'm
• 4:31
  like, Oh yeah, 'cause you don't have the response and you have
• 4:37
  to be so kind of high energy for kids too.
• 4:44
  I mean, you seem like an energetic person.
• 4:46
  So I feel like it's not a huge like, push for you.
• 4:50
  It doesn't seem like you're really like putting it on, which
• 4:54
  I feel like is what we like. Me, I thought I like watching
• 4:58
  about like like watching you 'cause it doesn't seem like
• 5:02
  forced and like you enjoy it. But I mean, you have two kids.
• 5:10
  So it's a Paisley and Ezra, how old are?
• 5:12
  They Yeah, Paisley, I was 4 1/2 now, which is just wild.
• 5:17
  And Ezra is 1 1/2. So, you know, we can't often
• 5:23
  have these conversations. I talk with Paisley about it.
• 5:26
  Ezra's a little too little, but I'm like, I often think, I think
• 5:31
  last year there's this big trend about how we only get 18 summers
• 5:34
  with our kids, right? And all of this whole thing and
• 5:38
  there's another part, right? It's like this uneven balance.
• 5:42
  So you often hear it's like, oh, 18 summers with the kids and
• 5:45
  then another one of like, oh, it goes by too fast, right?
• 5:48
  The years are long, the days are long, but the years are short.
• 5:51
  And it's been stuck in my mind for such a long time.
• 5:54
  And I, I wrote this like poem about it when I was like
• 5:57
  emotional, I get emotional about these things.
• 6:01
  But this whole idea of how we don't actually have 18 years and
• 6:06
  it seems like it flies by so fast because at often at the end
• 6:13
  of the day, we just kind of want to lay down where we get so
• 6:16
  exhausted by taking care of other needs and not taking care
• 6:20
  of ourselves and stuff. And it's like, I just want a
• 6:22
  minute. I just want a minute.
• 6:23
  And then you look back, it's been a year and you're like,
• 6:25
  I've been asking for a minute, but now a year went by.
• 6:28
  And so I read this poem about how we actually just get one
• 6:33
  year with that version of our kid.
• 6:35
  We only get one year with our one year old.
• 6:37
  We only get one year with our two year old.
• 6:39
  We only get one year with our three-year old.
• 6:42
  And they, and, and it's not even a year, 'cause there are
• 6:45
  seasons, right? There's it looks so different a
• 6:49
  toddler with a summer in with a toddler versus a winter with a
• 6:52
  toddler. You know what I mean?
• 6:53
  So we actually get one summer with a one year old.
• 6:56
  We get 1 winter. We only get that one season with
• 7:00
  our one year old version of our kid.
• 7:01
  Then we only get one of The Four Seasons, right.
• 7:04
  We get The Four Seasons, but that one year and only one
• 7:07
  summer, one fall with a 2 year old, a three-year old, a four
• 7:10
  year old, A5 year old. So it's like we don't get the 18
• 7:13
  years, like of course we do, but it seems like it flies away
• 7:17
  because it's moving so fast and it's so hard to grasp on because
• 7:22
  day-to-day it looks the same, but small things change, right?
• 7:28
  It's like every day I'm washing these bottles, every day I'm
• 7:30
  putting these little boots away, but now they're bigger boots.
• 7:33
  Now the bottles are gone and they're replaced by a different
• 7:35
  cup. Now the plates are different.
• 7:37
  Now this is different. Oh, I used to pick up blocks.
• 7:39
  Now I'm picking up these things, right?
• 7:41
  Like it's, it's so difficult to really grasp how much we do or
• 7:48
  explain how much we do, you know, as a parent with our kids.
• 7:53
  But I think the fact that it seems to go by so fast because
• 7:57
  it's like we don't have the 18 years.
• 8:01
  We don't even really have that year.
• 8:03
  Like the winter is going to look very different than the summer
• 8:05
  and the fall is going to look very.
• 8:07
  And then if you count in the facts of like whether you're a
• 8:11
  stay at home parent or a working parent, are you traveling back
• 8:14
  and forth and commuting, right? Are your kids going to school or
• 8:17
  are they at home for a little bit of time and that time just
• 8:21
  starts to decrease by so much and.
• 8:26
  So much and like you were saying like the boots get bigger and
• 8:29
  things like that where it's like you don't think about like, oh,
• 8:35
  that was the last time that like they slept in their crib or like
• 8:40
  that's the last time. I mean, I guess better things
• 8:43
  like that, you know, like oh, this is the last time.
• 8:47
  But like there are so many things you're like, oh, I didn't
• 8:49
  realize that. Like that was going to be the
• 8:52
  last time. I start thinking I get emotional
• 8:55
  too. Or like I started thinking
• 8:56
  about, I mean, my daughter's three, but she's tall and she's
• 9:01
  getting bigger and it's like, well, I can't carry you.
• 9:05
  I mean, I can pick her up of course, but it's like, Oh my
• 9:08
  God, when is going to be the last time that like I get to
• 9:12
  now, like my nephew is 10 now and I'm like, oh, shit, I can't
• 9:16
  pick you up. Like man, I mean maybe I could
• 9:20
  to be silly, but like I can't carry.
• 9:23
  Yeah, like. Yeah.
• 9:26
  And then all of a sudden it's just like it does quite fast if
• 9:31
  we're not like, in the moment with them, yeah.
• 9:36
  That can be difficult too. You know, there's so many things
• 9:39
  that go in day-to-day, like I, I work from home, which I'm so
• 9:45
  thankful for. You know, I can instead of like
• 9:49
  driving and driving back, you know, that time I get to spend
• 9:52
  either with my kids or setting up or cleaning up to kind of
• 9:55
  reload, reset myself, which is helpful.
• 9:59
  You know, like for me, it's like, oh, I'm going to my office
• 10:01
  and it's me coming upstairs and taking off the green screen down
• 10:04
  or putting it back on or putting it back up or taking it down.
• 10:07
  I'm so far with this green screen and putting it up and
• 10:10
  putting it down. But then I'm like, I'm so
• 10:14
  thankful I just have to go up the stairs, right.
• 10:17
  And so for me, I'm thankful that I get to cut out the, the, the
• 10:21
  traffic of things. But on that same side, right?
• 10:24
  Like sometimes just driving and listening to your own music,
• 10:27
  it's kind of nice. You know what I mean?
• 10:29
  Like right now, my music is just what my kids listen to.
• 10:33
  So it's been those songs. And I had to go and help my mom
• 10:37
  today. She left on the chickens and a
• 10:39
  garden. So I was like hauling bags and
• 10:41
  like putting this hay and like, it was just so much farm work
• 10:45
  for four hours this morning. But I got to drive myself, which
• 10:48
  I haven't done in a very long time.
• 10:50
  I had extremely bad anxiety through my first postpartum.
• 10:54
  And it took me about three years to get in the car by myself to
• 10:58
  drive. Yeah.
• 11:00
  And it really set me like, it really changed me as a person.
• 11:04
  I also did my first postpartum through COVID.
• 11:08
  And right when it started, we had actually moved states.
• 11:15
  And so I moved. I didn't have any friends.
• 11:17
  I didn't have any family and I was pregnant and I was like,
• 11:22
  what am I doing? How do I do this?
• 11:25
  I can't go anywhere. Everything was closed.
• 11:28
  I was pregnant. So we stopped drinking as well.
• 11:31
  We didn't go out and I still haven't made any friends.
• 11:36
  You know what I mean? Like I I was at home and then
• 11:41
  through the first year things were still really closed up.
• 11:46
  So I spent a lot of time at my house and I think that's how a
• 11:49
  lot of the activities were born is that I was home 24/7 with my
• 11:55
  kids and we didn't leave. And that can that can get in
• 12:01
  the, you know, it's like, oh, I've been home for a year and a
• 12:07
  half a few months ago. I real and I was like about 1/2
• 12:11
  a year ago, there's some storms. I was like, Oh my goodness, I've
• 12:14
  been home for 42 days straight. Like I need to get out of the
• 12:16
  house. And but I think the different
• 12:22
  circumstances that had put me in this scenario, right, where it's
• 12:26
  like I don't have family here. I don't have friends here.
• 12:29
  My parents ended up moving, but they've got their own thing kind
• 12:32
  of going on. So, you know, that's a separate
• 12:35
  conversation. And and so I, I was thankful to
• 12:40
  be with my daughter at the time. You know, Ezra was born a little
• 12:43
  bit later, but her and I really attached, you know what I mean?
• 12:48
  Like we spent 24/7. We did like the contact naps and
• 12:53
  the Co sleeping. And so her and I've never been
• 12:57
  apart even when my son was born. So she was about 3 1/2 when my
• 13:03
  son was born. I had such a heartache because
• 13:06
  I'm like, what does that even look like for me to go to the
• 13:08
  hospital and there's a whole entire conversation about like
• 13:13
  the pregnancy in the second postpartum, right?
• 13:15
  Because that looks very different as well.
• 13:18
  And so when I went to my to the from, we got super lucky.
• 13:23
  We happened to be so I live about an hour away from
• 13:26
  Nashville and my hospital that I gave birth in the first time is
• 13:30
  in Nashville and we happened to be there just like visiting me
• 13:36
  were like, hey, let's just get an Airbnb.
• 13:38
  Like let's just get an Airbnb like randomly.
• 13:40
  I promise you this was like God sign from, I don't know, you
• 13:44
  know, like the angels were on my shoulders Tooting their trumpets
• 13:47
  like get an Airbnb now. And I was like, I don't know,
• 13:50
  let's just do it. And so we did.
• 13:53
  And my doctor's appointment actually got cancelled.
• 13:55
  I had like a checkup. I was like due in two weeks,
• 13:59
  maybe 3, but my doctor's appointment got cancelled.
• 14:03
  She's a busy lady. And then I started having
• 14:07
  shaking like really late at night and I was like,
• 14:09
  something's a little off. I called them my water didn't
• 14:11
  break. So I'm like, they're like, no,
• 14:14
  it's fine. And I'm like, OK, but I'm
• 14:16
  shaking a lot. They're like, no, it's fine.
• 14:18
  Your water didn't break. I'm like cool guys.
• 14:20
  And so we stayed and I was like, let's just get another night.
• 14:23
  Like let's just this is so random, Emily.
• 14:25
  Like I promise you this is, I have no idea how this happened.
• 14:29
  So we got another night and it's like 1 in the morning, my
• 14:34
  husband's asleep, Paisley's asleep and I'm like, Ouch, Ouch.
• 14:41
  I went in the bath, I went in the potty.
• 14:43
  I'm like Ouch. 15 minutes goes by and I'm like, no, this is
• 14:47
  pain I cannot handle anymore. And I, I try to be like so
• 14:50
  unbothersome. I grew up with really chaotic
• 14:53
  childhood. And so I try to be like, never
• 14:55
  do inconvenience anyone and I can handle this and I can do
• 14:59
  this on my own. And, and it got to a point it
• 15:01
  was like, so 12:00. No, it was 1:00.
• 15:04
  I woke up in the morning. I was like out by 1:15.
• 15:07
  I was like, no, I can't handle this pain.
• 15:09
  I woke up my husband by like 130.
• 15:12
  By two. We had made it to the hospital.
• 15:14
  I woke up my daughter and I was, I'm feeling bad about this.
• 15:17
  I'm like, sorry to wake you up. She doesn't eat now.
• 15:19
  She's like, are you OK, mommy? And I'm like, I just got to take
• 15:21
  a deep breath and I'm like breathing by the wall.
• 15:23
  We're in Airbnb. We don't know where we are so,
• 15:27
  so lucky. Again, we got this Airbnb 5
• 15:29
  minutes away from the hospital. So we get to the hospital now
• 15:31
  it's 2:00 in the morning. I check in by 3:00.
• 15:36
  My son was born like 315. He was out.
• 15:41
  Wow. Out and I was so worried.
• 15:43
  I was like, I made my daughter this like big binder of
• 15:46
  activities, big bag. I wanted to pack it.
• 15:49
  I packed this three weeks before my son was due and my my husband
• 15:53
  was like, that's so it's so early, like you're so early and
• 15:56
  I'm like, I know, but I had so much anxiety because I was like,
• 16:00
  what is she like, what, how are we going to do this?
• 16:02
  Like how am I going to be in the hospital and not be with her?
• 16:04
  Like what do you mean? Like, what does that even look
• 16:06
  like? And so I had it ready and for
• 16:09
  some reason I was like, let me bring it.
• 16:10
  Let me just bring it and I brought it.
• 16:13
  We we called my mother and mom like it's happening.
• 16:15
  She's like, I'm on my way. I love her.
• 16:17
  I love my mother-in-law. I will, I will forever thank God
• 16:21
  for the mother-in-law God. Like what a gift she is.
• 16:23
  I can talk about her for hours. And so she's on her way.
• 16:26
  It's one in the morning. She gets in my husband and my
• 16:30
  daughter dropped me off. He goes back to drop her off
• 16:33
  with my mother-in-law, comes back.
• 16:34
  Boom, my son just popped out. He was like, here I am and I'm
• 16:37
  like, what up buddy? Like, hey, what's up bud?
• 16:41
  And then my daughter's back in the room within 30 minutes
• 16:44
  later. So her and I've only been apart
• 16:46
  like those two hours that it took, but even my son understood
• 16:50
  the assignment. He's like, let me just go ahead
• 16:52
  and speed this up for everyone in the room itself.
• 16:57
  And it's all, all of it, you know, And even with his name,
• 17:04
  it's so silly because we couldn't, we couldn't settle
• 17:06
  down on a name. It's so hard with names, right?
• 17:08
  Because it's like, you want to make sure you don't pick a name
• 17:11
  that you know somebody with that name, right?
• 17:14
  You know what I mean? And so we couldn't figure out a
• 17:18
  name for my son for a very long time.
• 17:21
  And it was like days before we were like, what about Ezra?
• 17:26
  Like it has a strong Z in it. I don't know anybody named Ezra.
• 17:30
  I didn't know anybody named Ezra at the time.
• 17:32
  Neither did my husband. Like it was so far away from our
• 17:35
  realm. I admired the Z.
• 17:38
  Even my dog has AZ in her name. Like it has like this not often
• 17:42
  heard sound, I think in names. And so the Z.
• 17:46
  Sound. I mean, it's an S but.
• 17:48
  Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, I, I think my other dog was named
• 17:53
  Zena. My current dog's name is Ziva.
• 17:57
  Ezra is now in the mix. But then we looked it up and he
• 18:00
  means helper. And I was like, cute.
• 18:01
  Like, of course we love that. And what a helper He was through
• 18:06
  that process of like before even he was born, you know what I
• 18:08
  mean? Like he was just like, I'm just
• 18:11
  going to sleep in here and then when I'm ready, I'm going to
• 18:13
  come out. And he did.
• 18:14
  And like, hold this back to I'm, I'm very attached to my
• 18:22
  daughter. Of course we do everything
• 18:23
  together. I was thinking about, you know,
• 18:24
  that trend they did where it's like when the boss says you
• 18:27
  don't need two people and then two people do it the same.
• 18:30
  I'm going to do that because we do everything together.
• 18:34
  And yeah, it's so silly, but I, you know, I, I think it started
• 18:43
  out in these circumstances where I got to a place where
• 18:46
  everything was closed. I didn't know anybody.
• 18:47
  I didn't know what to do. And then essentially I've kind
• 18:50
  of given birth to my best friend.
• 18:51
  And now we've been doing everything together and we just
• 18:56
  eat it out. We do, we do these activities,
• 18:58
  we do these crafty, we're like, let's do this, let's do that.
• 19:02
  Yesterday we had Pipperson Day, which is like this character she
• 19:05
  created of a pup with magic power, so we decorated
• 19:08
  everything with paw prints. The day before is mermaid day,
• 19:11
  so we dressed up as mermaids and had seashells everywhere.
• 19:13
  The day before that was bug day, so we decorated bugs.
• 19:16
  It's like, it's so random but it's so fun.
• 19:19
  And I, I am thankful 'cause I get to put myself in her world
• 19:26
  24/7. And so I, I had a lot of fear.
• 19:30
  So before I gave birth, I think I had a lot of, I got stuck on
• 19:33
  like the, the grandma's algorithm, I think.
• 19:38
  And so it was all these moms. It's, this is so true.
• 19:41
  And so it was all these like moms who are grandmas who'd be
• 19:44
  giving advice, like, goodness, you know, like if I could go
• 19:47
  back, I would do this, you know, or being a grandparent is so
• 19:51
  great because now I get to spend the time without the anxiety and
• 19:54
  the worry of it, right? And then I'm like, I don't want
• 19:57
  to do that. I don't want to look back and
• 20:00
  regret these things. I don't want to miss the things.
• 20:03
  And so I think that created this like more anxiety in me.
• 20:08
  I'm going to be honest, they created more anxiety in me.
• 20:10
  But to. Try my best to be really present
• 20:15
  in my kids world. And so it started with Paisley
• 20:18
  and I really want to be present with Ezra and I'm so thankful
• 20:20
  because I get to work from home and be in that moment.
• 20:26
  But I've put myself. I'm such a back burner for such
• 20:35
  a long time and I'm still trying to carve out that time, but I'm
• 20:39
  like with a chisel, you know what I mean?
• 20:41
  Like where do I, where, where do I start to chisel that time out?
• 20:48
  I just look at it, I get overwhelmed and I'm like, well,
• 20:51
  not today. I'm just going to play with my
• 20:52
  kids. Yeah, it's hard 'cause
• 20:55
  everyone's, you know, it's like you got to take care of yourself
• 20:58
  and you have to find me time. And it's like, yeah, I get that,
• 21:02
  but where? Yeah.
• 21:03
  When, where, when? Sometimes I, I don't do this all
• 21:08
  the time, but like couple of times a week, if I get myself to
• 21:12
  wake up at like 4:00 in the morning, 5:00 in the morning,
• 21:14
  those two hours, I feel like I'm super here.
• 21:18
  Like the amount of things I can do 'cause it's the uninterrupted
• 21:21
  time. And then once my kids wake up, I
• 21:24
  can't focus. I can't even like focus on a
• 21:26
  text 'cause then it's like, hey, mom, hey mom.
• 21:28
  You know, like I just, I, I, I can't do it.
• 21:30
  I applaud those who can. I applaud those who can, but I
• 21:36
  can't. And, but I'm, I'm climbing out
• 21:40
  of it. I'm chiseling that time even
• 21:42
  today, like getting ready. I've started getting ready more.
• 21:45
  The first two years, almost three years, I didn't get ready.
• 21:48
  I didn't do makeup, I didn't put jeans on for a very long time.
• 21:54
  And so I, I think right, it's like, I think I spent some of
• 21:57
  this time talking about like the benefits that I do that I am
• 22:00
  grateful for, for getting to do these things at home.
• 22:04
  But because nothing's forcing me to go out, I I've lost that part
• 22:11
  of Lily, right, Mom 24/7. And then I'm silly Miss Lily the
• 22:18
  other and so and and then it's like, well, when is Lily time?
• 22:24
  What does Lily want to do? Yeah, that's.
• 22:28
  Like creating, having the time with your partner too like.
• 22:32
  It's yeah. There's so many ones being a
• 22:37
  parent and where you have to be so many things for so many
• 22:43
  people. Time for yourself and like you
• 22:47
  know, and your your job now that like you've created for
• 22:52
  yourself, you have to do it yourself.
• 22:56
  It's not like you're going and clocking in.
• 22:59
  You have to like create this for yourself.
• 23:03
  So I'm curious how, I mean, you've been at it for a while,
• 23:07
  but how did the how did silly miss Lily?
• 23:11
  How did that start? And like for you now, how are
• 23:15
  you able to like, do you set yourself a schedule?
• 23:22
  And how does that? What a great question.
• 23:27
  I think it's so. I think it started like with the
• 23:30
  activities and we were learning so much at home.
• 23:33
  And I think because things were so close through COVID, I kind
• 23:38
  of found myself sharing on social media, right?
• 23:43
  So I'd share the activities or like little mom things or
• 23:45
  whatever little mom hacks. I think it started that way.
• 23:48
  And then I had a few like activity mixes that went viral.
• 23:51
  So I was like, hey, here's 7 activities to do at home, you
• 23:54
  know, like help me, you know, keep some sanity.
• 23:57
  Maybe it'll help you. And I found a lot of parents
• 23:59
  kind of like, Hey, yo, no, those, these are fun.
• 24:01
  And so right. And I think right at that time
• 24:07
  especially, I think this Rachel also started growing.
• 24:11
  And so I was like, wow, that's really cool that she's doing
• 24:13
  that. I wonder if I can do something
• 24:15
  similar. So I think it was a little
• 24:16
  inspired there, right? And but through activities,
• 24:22
  because I wanted like, Hey, maybe kids and parents can do
• 24:24
  these at home and maybe I'll be helpful.
• 24:27
  And then like we did one, then we did another and it was like a
• 24:32
  very slow grow. But I, I, I don't know, I just
• 24:37
  felt like I really wanted to do it, I think.
• 24:40
  And I was already doing it like me and my daughter were already
• 24:42
  doing it at home. And so it felt really natural.
• 24:46
  Like it just felt like it like it's what we were doing.
• 24:52
  But I just set up a, it started with my phone.
• 24:55
  I was recording everything from my phone for about two years at
• 24:58
  1st and then started giving him more time.
• 25:04
  But we started, you know, it's just like a stay at home mom.
• 25:09
  And my husband was kind of working, but it turned over to
• 25:12
  now we're like the silly Miss Lily household.
• 25:16
  And that's how we, you know, we make our income and we work
• 25:20
  hard. And I used to edit until I like
• 25:24
  3 in the morning, I moved my desk in the bedroom because my
• 25:28
  daughter was sleeping and I'd be editing really quietly to make
• 25:30
  sure not to wake her up. So I did a lot of filming and
• 25:34
  editing at naps and bedtime. So while my daughter was asleep
• 25:39
  and then when she turned about four, so about six months a year
• 25:43
  ago, you know, I started doing a more during wake window, like
• 25:51
  awake time. But she's, she's been such a
• 25:55
  process of it, like she loves doing it.
• 25:57
  She creates these ideas. Her latest 1 was like the Super.
• 26:02
  She just says like, hey, what if we do an episode about
• 26:04
  superheroes? And I was like, yeah, what do
• 26:06
  you mean? It's like, like the invisible
• 26:07
  ones? I'm like, what do you, what do
• 26:09
  you mean it's like, like, like gravity and electricity and
• 26:13
  emotions. And I was like, yeah, yeah,
• 26:17
  girl, like, let's do that. Yes.
• 26:20
  What do you mean? And so we sat down and we, we
• 26:23
  worked it through. And I was like, what if I get
• 26:24
  capes? And she's like, yeah, let's get
• 26:26
  capes. And I'm like, OK.
• 26:28
  And so we worked through and we used these like we did the
• 26:30
  pulley system at home where we talked about the gravity pulls
• 26:32
  it down and the momentum and the.
• 26:34
  And so we used the language and we, we wrote this episode.
• 26:37
  And there's previous ones that she's such a big part of that
• 26:40
  she writes, you know, I think originally when I was thinking
• 26:44
  of a name, I was like, oh, Paisley's corner, you know,
• 26:47
  reflecting of like this is how we learn at home in a little
• 26:49
  corner. You know, I made this little
• 26:51
  like rainbow craft of pool noodles and yarn.
• 26:55
  And that's where we would sit and learn.
• 26:56
  And this is how we did it for repetition and like modeling the
• 27:00
  words and modeling the question answer form, right?
• 27:04
  And I noticed that. So I think when I was in
• 27:07
  college, I read this book and it talked about communication and
• 27:11
  it talked about how there's a different form of communication
• 27:15
  in the book. It talked about in terms of
• 27:16
  gender, where female to female, it really works talking face to
• 27:19
  face where you're like, what's going on?
• 27:21
  Tell me about this. You know, like the feeding.
• 27:23
  I want to know everything. Did your eyes spark out?
• 27:26
  Did you get it? You know, I want it all.
• 27:28
  And with male to female, it actually works better if you're
• 27:31
  like in the car side to side where they can like hear and
• 27:35
  process it, but it doesn't feel confrontational almost.
• 27:40
  And I noticed that work with toddlers.
• 27:43
  So it doesn't feel like I'm, you know, trying to start a conflict
• 27:50
  or compromise like it or commanding in any way.
• 27:53
  It's more conversational side to side.
• 27:55
  And so her and I would, if she's busy, like drying or crafting or
• 28:00
  whatever, we're side to side and we're just talking.
• 28:04
  She was able to repeat, you know, this started at like 1314
• 28:08
  months, like word for word things that I said.
• 28:12
  And so I was like, oh, the side to side learning.
• 28:14
  And I think through videos, you can see it.
• 28:15
  We're always doing activity kind of side to side.
• 28:18
  And sometimes it kind of looks, you know, she's busy in this,
• 28:20
  but then she'll always repeat it like sentence for sentence,
• 28:24
  these things, you know. And so when we're working with
• 28:27
  our hands, I think there's a study done too.
• 28:29
  If you're just like doodling with your hand, you can take in
• 28:32
  a lot more. And so through these activities
• 28:36
  and there's participation, excuse me, we're able to take in
• 28:42
  because it's like more natural and through play it like makes
• 28:46
  it more fun, right? Like even with acting, right?
• 28:51
  Like, you can read a book about acting, but it's not until
• 28:55
  you're, like, back and forth with somebody, we can really
• 28:59
  unlock these really specific moments where you're like, oh,
• 29:03
  what if I did it this way? What if you said it quietly?
• 29:07
  Whoa, That ignites a different thing in me.
• 29:10
  So let's try it that way. Whoa.
• 29:13
  You raised your voice. You had an infliction.
• 29:16
  What if that's the spike? So how am I going to react?
• 29:19
  Right. And yeah.
• 29:22
  So essentially, Emily, I'm not going to lie to you.
• 29:24
  I think Daisleo and I are like this improv team and this is it.
• 29:31
  So her and I improv back and forth all the time and we do
• 29:34
  this. So she calls in these games and
• 29:38
  we started I think with like the emotions to really like that
• 29:41
  concept of the different way a person could feel and a
• 29:45
  different reaction you can have. But now it's grown into these
• 29:49
  new levels of characters. So we play a lot of Zelda and
• 29:52
  Link and so she'll play me, then I'll play Link.
• 29:56
  It's like, I'll heal you. And I'm like, oh, here, thank
• 29:58
  you. I'm going to attack.
• 29:59
  You know, we play these characters and then we watch the
• 30:02
  little frozen. So she so play on and I'm Elsa
• 30:06
  and I'm like, oh, these you know, I'm going to freeze this.
• 30:08
  She's like, it's OK, Elsa, let me help you.
• 30:10
  And I'm like, oh, Anna, I don't want to freeze your animals.
• 30:13
  She's like, it's OK, we need to practice your powers.
• 30:15
  It's the only way to do it is if you practice and you get better.
• 30:19
  And so we go through these scenes of acting it out and then
• 30:24
  it grows because essentially we're doing a yes and right.
• 30:27
  And she's like, oh, Elsa, well, what about this?
• 30:29
  I'm like, yes. And and then it grows and it
• 30:31
  grows and it grows and it grows and, and it's so fascinating,
• 30:36
  right, Because you get to do this with your little best
• 30:38
  friend. And I think we're an improv
• 30:42
  team. I don't think we've done that
• 30:43
  like for the show quite yet. It's mostly been like, so, you
• 30:48
  know, for the for the superheroes episode, she like,
• 30:53
  she wanted these specific lines in there and all of this except
• 30:57
  for the cooking bits. That was just like random.
• 31:00
  I was like, hey, let's make a pie.
• 31:01
  Let's see what we can like, add to it.
• 31:04
  But she was like, hey, what if? What if you say this?
• 31:07
  What if I say this, whatever, you say this and I start talking
• 31:11
  to her more about like acting. I'm like, hey, well, if you did
• 31:13
  this in a movie, you know, this is the sea.
• 31:18
  And then maybe we would move the camera, right?
• 31:20
  We broke down Moana and I'm like, OK, so you know the scene,
• 31:23
  Moana is flying down into the boat.
• 31:25
  We see it close up, We see it upside down.
• 31:28
  We see it this way. So they get to do it again and
• 31:31
  again and film it in different ways.
• 31:33
  Yeah. And she loved that.
• 31:35
  She was like, yes, OK, let's do. Let's do a close up.
• 31:38
  Let's do. We did the 4th of July.
• 31:40
  So she's like, mommy, let me get a close up of this fire.
• 31:42
  I'm like, yeah, girl, that's cool.
• 31:45
  That's so sweet. You're able to like bring that
• 31:49
  into it now also. It's obviously like, yes, bring
• 31:54
  that like acting side of it into it as well.
• 31:58
  But it seems like you almost seem like, like, have you had
• 32:06
  teaching experience or did you know that like going into like
• 32:10
  starting a family that you wanted to that you were going to
• 32:16
  be like such a hands on? Because obviously like parents
• 32:19
  can play with their kids, but like, I mean, you definitely
• 32:22
  take it to another. Level.
• 32:26
  You know, you did you think about that beforehand or like it
• 32:30
  just kind of came natural because of like the COVID like.
• 32:34
  I think, right, I think the COVID and my background and
• 32:39
  acting melted into Salima's flu lot, to be quite honest with
• 32:44
  you. I think it's like not having a
• 32:49
  different outlet. So it's like just me and Pepe
• 32:52
  like kicking it. And it started with like cow
• 32:55
  says Moo moo to now developing into these really kind of
• 33:01
  awesome scenes. And you know, like we get to do
• 33:08
  everything together. And so she's so familiar with
• 33:11
  the language that I use where I'm like, oh, let me set up the
• 33:14
  camera, let me get the mic, let me set the thing.
• 33:16
  I'm going to do my part. You know, I was very careful to
• 33:19
  make sure that I'm not like I want.
• 33:23
  It's always been just very natural.
• 33:25
  Like I'm like, hey, I'm going to film this and just like tell
• 33:27
  Mama, can I be a part of it? I'm like, Oh my gosh, for sure,
• 33:29
  like I would love to. And so I'm like, oh, I'm working
• 33:31
  on this activity. I was going over this and like,
• 33:33
  I think I keep it in a few episodes where I'm like, Oh, I
• 33:35
  was teaching caught in this and I was doing this thing.
• 33:37
  She's like, oh, let me do it. She you know, she just wants to
• 33:40
  do it as well. And so we, we, I just leave the
• 33:45
  camera on and just her and I playing whatever we go through.
• 33:48
  And then whatever we have is like is what's in the episode.
• 33:53
  But it's, you know, it's so interesting because I think at
• 33:56
  this point it's really growing and developing and kind of
• 34:02
  becoming a little bit of her show.
• 34:06
  We just started out with her name in it and it's kind of just
• 34:10
  growing into that and she just loves it.
• 34:14
  It's such a big part. And it's something that she
• 34:17
  enjoys and it's not. She loves it.
• 34:20
  It's. More of her off wanting to
• 34:23
  participate as opposed to you being like, well let's make this
• 34:26
  video and you. Be right.
• 34:28
  I think then that's The thing is so it's like I, I didn't, I
• 34:34
  don't think I knew that I was going to like get married, have
• 34:36
  a kid, be this like really involved mom.
• 34:39
  When I was in LA, it was in my 20s.
• 34:43
  I was like, I'm going to do acting.
• 34:45
  It was so fun. I really loved it.
• 34:47
  I had, I was doing like dance school and other schools when I
• 34:50
  was really little. And so I, I love, I really loved
• 34:55
  acting. I struggled through LA right,
• 34:58
  because like to get an audition to get through the thing.
• 35:02
  It's so emotional, and I don't think I was emotionally ready
• 35:05
  for what it was going to be. I think I got extremely lucky
• 35:09
  and extremely blessed to the opportunities that I had.
• 35:12
  So I was like a couple of shows, a couple of movies, and I think
• 35:17
  I would have done it a lot differently.
• 35:19
  And now that I'm looking back at it, because I think being in my
• 35:22
  20s and making friends with like some celebrities and stuff, it's
• 35:28
  like becomes more fun. And I was like owed and of
• 35:33
  course, at the clubs and like in my 20s, I was cute, you know?
• 35:36
  And so I'm like, how I was. I wonder what it looked like for
• 35:42
  my friends in my 20s who saw me just like, move to Tennessee,
• 35:46
  become this mom. Now I'm not drinking.
• 35:49
  I'm not even like, dancing to who knows what.
• 35:55
  You know, in my 20s, my friends knew me as like, hey, let's go
• 35:58
  to Vegas, dance on tables, like, and get completely trashed.
• 36:06
  And there were so many times. So we did some modeling too.
• 36:10
  But I'd be like, hey, let's go out.
• 36:12
  We all like, drank and had so much fun.
• 36:16
  And then I'm like at a photo shoot.
• 36:19
  Look, you take some pictures, go outside, throw up because I'm so
• 36:23
  hungover, come back, take another picture.
• 36:27
  And so I had so much fun. And I'm really glad that I did,
• 36:34
  but I wish I would have, I wish I would have had a role model,
• 36:41
  somebody who would have guided me better.
• 36:45
  I, I got lucky and I started booking some things.
• 36:50
  And I think, I think at some point I didn't take it as
• 36:58
  seriously, although, you know, still being young, I was like,
• 37:05
  there were so many times where I'd go in the same office,
• 37:08
  right? And you see the same casting and
• 37:10
  you psych yourself out because you know what they book, You
• 37:13
  know, it's like, yo, if I get this, if I get this right, you
• 37:17
  come in and it's like 15 other girls that look like you and
• 37:20
  you're like, I wasn't ready for the emotional up and downs of
• 37:28
  it. I took so many things so
• 37:30
  personal. I took so many things as I'm not
• 37:33
  good enough. And I had so many breakdowns,
• 37:37
  right? And some through drinking that I
• 37:41
  didn't love, right. But I had some close friends in
• 37:43
  LA like you guys. I'm like going in the same room.
• 37:46
  I'm still not booking. Even the casting director be
• 37:48
  like you're so funny, like let's get you like try again.
• 37:53
  Like let's let's OK, I'm going to get you in on this.
• 37:56
  I'm going to and you know, and you, you start feeling like
• 38:01
  you're almost there, right 'cause it's like you, I even
• 38:06
  felt, I was like, I'm in a place where like the gas and director
• 38:09
  is rooting for me. Why am I not like what's not
• 38:15
  going on? And then I, I had a personal
• 38:17
  tragedy that happened. I in 2018, I lost the best
• 38:22
  friend through an accident. You know, I just got a phone
• 38:26
  call at midnight and a buddy of mine is like we, you know, we
• 38:33
  lost. We lost, we don't know what
• 38:36
  happened. He, he fell off a pier and his
• 38:39
  body disappeared for three weeks.
• 38:43
  And my whole world shattered. My, my whole world just
• 38:47
  shattered. I just, I stopped everything I
• 38:50
  was doing. I drove down to San Diego.
• 38:53
  I was in LA and it I was just numb.
• 39:01
  I and, and everything in my world changed.
• 39:06
  I think I was in a different path and everything was going so
• 39:11
  well in acting and I'm so thankful for the road that I
• 39:13
  had. But when that happened, I didn't
• 39:17
  know what to do. And his roommate is, like, one
• 39:30
  of my best buddies. Like, he cheered me on to come
• 39:33
  out to LA. And I was like, well, you know,
• 39:34
  we were out there. Like, we were going to do it.
• 39:36
  You know, he was singing, I was acting.
• 39:38
  We had, like, a group of friends, right?
• 39:41
  And some of them are doing some really big things.
• 39:44
  And I'm so proud, like, internationally famous and like,
• 39:49
  and I'm so proud of them, right? And like, it's cool to think
• 39:52
  back when we were like in this tight little crew.
• 39:57
  And but when he passed it, it really shattered my world that
• 40:02
  I, I went down to San Diego. We would all go out to the water
• 40:08
  thinking we'd find his body, thinking he'd come out of the
• 40:11
  water and say, this is a joke. I like, I played a prank on you,
• 40:15
  you know, like. And it didn't happen.
• 40:21
  You know, he didn't come out of the water.
• 40:22
  And I was like, maybe some boat picked him up and he's like out
• 40:26
  with some girls. And, you know, you go through
• 40:29
  these scenarios trying to reason as to why something like this
• 40:32
  would happen. And it was, it was my first time
• 40:40
  really losing somebody I really cared for.
• 40:43
  And I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to turn.
• 40:47
  I didn't know. And so I stayed in San Diego, I
• 40:51
  cancelled all my things up in Lai and we were just trying to
• 40:56
  find his body. 3 weeks later a fisherman found his body.
• 40:58
  They recognize him by his tattoo.
• 41:01
  That's my little all in love tattoo.
• 41:03
  That was his. And he was recognized by the
• 41:06
  rest of them. Went away and got you know, I'm
• 41:12
  shaking. And so, but his roommate Jake,
• 41:17
  him and I supported each other through the loss.
• 41:22
  And then six weeks later, we're like, let's get eloped.
• 41:29
  And we did. And so we, we got eloped and we
• 41:33
  said we didn't tell anyone. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't
• 41:37
  do it. We didn't.
• 41:38
  And then we're like, hey, let's put the money down on a house
• 41:40
  instead. So we bought a house and then
• 41:46
  we're like, hey, let's move to Nashville.
• 41:48
  And we did. And then it was COVID and I got
• 41:51
  pregnant and then everything just really changed.
• 41:54
  But I think when I lost my friend, his name is Taylor
• 41:58
  Watts. You know, I think a part of me
• 42:07
  kind of, I just, I didn't know what to do.
• 42:09
  I didn't know I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop crying.
• 42:14
  Everything was a blur. I've never experienced that
• 42:16
  before. I would hear voices and people
• 42:22
  talking to me, but I So that's a different part of silly Miss
• 42:34
  Flula And I think it's so interesting to think I feel like
• 42:44
  I've lived different lifetimes. Right In the 20s I was out, I
• 42:48
  was in Lai was like with celebrities.
• 42:50
  I was solo traveling, me and my friends, my best friend at the
• 42:56
  time, her and I went to like New Zealand, Australia.
• 42:59
  Then she moved and I really wanted to go see the Northern
• 43:02
  Lights. I'm like, I'm just going to book
• 43:03
  a solo trip to Iceland. Like I went to Iceland.
• 43:07
  I was up like in these nice mountains with like hammers and
• 43:13
  like such a different lifestyle, right?
• 43:17
  And then things happened. Things kept moving and I'm so
• 43:22
  it's odd how things happened, but like I wouldn't trade
• 43:28
  anything, right? Like I'm so thankful for my
• 43:34
  kids. And I think from an active
• 43:39
  standpoint, like it's really cool to have your own show.
• 43:43
  Like it's so cool to see where it has grown.
• 43:48
  Sometimes the old videos will pop up and I'm like.
• 43:51
  Yeah. It's so like cringy to watch
• 43:56
  your old stuff, whether it's social media or like anything.
• 43:59
  Like it just is. And I try to remember like, hey,
• 44:02
  if it's cringe, it means you've developed, you've grown.
• 44:04
  Like if it looks the same and you you haven't grown.
• 44:07
  And so I'm learning this is I started so new not knowing
• 44:12
  anything about it and being so 100% into it.
• 44:17
  Yeah, but I get to. You have to.
• 44:21
  Start somewhere, and I think I actually just posted about this,
• 44:27
  but about like getting over like the embarrassment or getting
• 44:30
  over the like cringe. Just this guy that I know, this
• 44:35
  actor Luke Cook was saying, like, all the good stuff is just
• 44:39
  like on the other side of cringe.
• 44:41
  Like you have to get through like being cringy or like, get
• 44:46
  over like people thinking that like, because you have to.
• 44:50
  That's the only way to grow and to change.
• 44:54
  And like, that's, yeah, part of it.
• 44:57
  And it's, it's odd the, the whole like cringe idea because
• 45:00
  I, I mentioned this before, but like, I think stemming from a
• 45:05
  very chaotic childhood, I have like very negative inside voice
• 45:10
  that, you know, says things and you know, I'm not good enough
• 45:14
  and I'm not, you know, all of this.
• 45:16
  And to fight through that and stand on the other side.
• 45:25
  And I, you know, I'm still battling through it constantly,
• 45:29
  but I want to set a good example for my kids.
• 45:34
  But it's odd, right? Because like, whatever you're
• 45:37
  doing, if you like doing it, you should be doing it, whatever it
• 45:42
  is, right? Like whatever it is, there's so
• 45:48
  many wonderful things that people do.
• 45:53
  I, I, sometimes I don't like the Internet, but sometimes I'm
• 45:56
  like, I love the Internet because you get to see what
• 45:59
  people are doing. And some of it is so
• 46:01
  fascinating. I'm like, yes, keep doing that.
• 46:05
  Keep doing that. If I had one advice for anybody
• 46:09
  in any field is like, be consistent, Stick with it.
• 46:14
  You know, it's like a swing if you're on a swing, right?
• 46:16
  Like if you just keep putting your legs out, putting them
• 46:19
  back, you're going to keep going.
• 46:21
  You're just going to keep going. You don't have to do more or
• 46:25
  less even. You're really are just going to
• 46:28
  keep going if you stay consistent.
• 46:31
  And consistency is key. And it's the only way to learn.
• 46:34
  Again, like you can only learn so much from a book, but not
• 46:36
  until you're going to put your hands to it and your feet to it
• 46:38
  and you're really doing it and you're going to learn.
• 46:41
  Like for me, it took so much to learn, Oh, I need to set this
• 46:44
  here and I need to move my tripod and my lights and my
• 46:47
  thing. And you know that.
• 46:48
  And I'm still learning and it's still growing And in five years,
• 46:51
  I'm still going to look back and cringe at these videos.
• 46:54
  And I, I hope I cringe at at the stuff I do, you know, even for
• 46:59
  social media, I, I love watching small creators that I know are
• 47:08
  like starting and I know they've taking 5719 takes where they're
• 47:16
  like, do I, because I do that. And I'm going to keep doing that
• 47:21
  because there's, it's forever changing, you know, like it's
• 47:26
  we're all learning and exploring.
• 47:28
  But I love watching small crane, herself included.
• 47:34
  Just go for it. Just go for it and try
• 47:37
  something, just whatever it is like, I don't know, I just want
• 47:42
  to root for like, especially if it's like a first ad, right?
• 47:46
  They'll get a first brand deal and you know, it's a little
• 47:48
  different and it's like a little I'm, I'm going to like that.
• 47:51
  I'm going to comment on that because I'm like you, you go for
• 47:54
  it, you do it again and you do it again and you do it again and
• 47:56
  you do it again. And that is the only way, the
• 47:59
  only way that you're going to get anywhere, because if not,
• 48:03
  you're just going to be exactly where you have been, which is
• 48:06
  also great. But like if you're trying to get
• 48:08
  somewhere, you just got to take one step and then another step
• 48:11
  and another step and another step.
• 48:13
  And it's going to look the same. Because when you're walking the
• 48:15
  stairs, each step looks exactly the same as the last step, as
• 48:18
  the last step, as the last step, as the last step until you look
• 48:22
  down. You're like, whoa, I'm on the
• 48:23
  second floor. Well, wait a minute.
• 48:25
  Let me just do a little turn and then keep going.
• 48:27
  Another step and another step and another step, and all of
• 48:30
  those steps are going to look exactly the same.
• 48:32
  But if you stay consistent, you just keep going.
• 48:34
  You just keep going. You're going to get to the third
• 48:36
  floor and the 4th floor and the 5th floor, right?
• 48:40
  I love that analogy of like the staircase, cause yeah, if you're
• 48:43
  looking down at the staircase and you, you're looking just at
• 48:46
  the steps, yeah. It's the same.
• 48:49
  It's the same step keep. Going, keep going.
• 48:52
  And then finally you're like, OK, oh, I did.
• 48:55
  I made it up the stairs. Yeah, and in a way, I think
• 49:00
  that's like toddlerhood, right? They're figuring things out.
• 49:03
  They're watching people's mannerisms around them in
• 49:07
  different cues. How do we answer?
• 49:08
  How do we respond? I think toddlers and kids in
• 49:11
  general admire adults so much. How do you know when to pull the
• 49:17
  stuff out of the oven? How do you know when to how did
• 49:20
  you know that was at the door? How did you know when to stop
• 49:22
  the car? How did you how do you know all
• 49:24
  of these things? That's fascinating, right?
• 49:26
  That's fascinating to somebody. I grew up in Russia and moved to
• 49:31
  America. And so when I moved, it was such
• 49:33
  a culture shock to just see that experience.
• 49:35
  But I think being so new and being placed somewhere kind of
• 49:38
  gives me that outlook of like almost a child where you look
• 49:41
  and like, how do you know how to do that?
• 49:43
  How do you know how to do? How do you know how to save
• 49:44
  that? How do you know how to order?
• 49:46
  How do you know when to do? All of those things are so new
• 49:51
  and fascinating, I think. And our kids admire.
• 49:56
  They're like, how do you know that?
• 49:58
  You take a step and you take another step and another step
• 50:01
  and you're not going to fall, right?
• 50:03
  When babies first take steps, they're like, what do you mean?
• 50:06
  I'm just going to go for it. Ezra's learning how to jump.
• 50:08
  He wants to do it so bad, so he goes jump, jump.
• 50:12
  But you know, it's not it's you got to learn to like pick up
• 50:16
  your body and to know that your body is going to be OK when you
• 50:19
  land. Whoa.
• 50:20
  That's a whole entire new experience, right?
• 50:25
  Just moving our body in general, kind of learning those things.
• 50:28
  And it's so easy to kind of forget, I think once we're out
• 50:31
  of school that each day we have an opportunity to learn and to
• 50:36
  develop. And, and that, you know, we
• 50:38
  talked earlier about how with our kids, we get the 11 year old
• 50:42
  version and the two year old version, the three-year old
• 50:45
  version. Like that applies to us, right?
• 50:47
  There's a 21 year old version of me.
• 50:49
  There's a 25 year old version of me.
• 50:51
  Now I'm a 34 year old version of me.
• 50:53
  And that's going to be similar, maybe different from a 35 year
• 50:57
  old version of me. And I sure hope that's going to
• 50:59
  be different from a 40 year old version of me and a 45 and a 50
• 51:02
  year old version. You know, I'm already like I
• 51:06
  used to get annoyed when my mom's like when are you going to
• 51:08
  have grandkids? But now I'm like, I can't wait
• 51:10
  to be a mother-in-law, right, or like a grandma, like I'm going
• 51:14
  to be there. I'm going to bring the
• 51:15
  activities, I'm going to bring the toys.
• 51:16
  I'm going to like let me hold the kids so you can shower.
• 51:19
  I'm going to bring you meals. I'm going to like, let me do the
• 51:22
  things I think I didn't have like a village when I got
• 51:25
  started and I struggled so much through my anxiety.
• 51:28
  It was part and that like I think baby in a way through the
• 51:31
  show. I I want to be I want to be the
• 51:34
  village for the moms, for the dads, right.
• 51:38
  I want to for the kids. Sometimes I think like maybe the
• 51:42
  kids like playing this activity. The mom can have a second to
• 51:44
  unload the groceries, but they'll flip the laundry.
• 51:47
  You know, like. We've definitely done a lot of
• 51:49
  your activities and like the the contact paper on the wall with
• 51:55
  like the different stickers and just like little things that you
• 51:59
  don't think about that can like that you're like, Oh, well, this
• 52:03
  is as an adult, you don't think about it, but it's like, oh,
• 52:07
  have the little fuzzy balls and organized.
• 52:10
  Things. Like that where it's like.
• 52:12
  For kids, it's so fast because they're like, why does it stick?
• 52:16
  Why? You know, I constantly think
• 52:18
  about even for babies, right? Like there's so much science
• 52:21
  that goes into drinking because you got to figure out how far do
• 52:24
  you tilt the cup for it to start pouring down?
• 52:27
  And when do you stop? Why does it keep going?
• 52:29
  Oh, I need to tilt it back down because gravity's fighting me
• 52:33
  with this water. Like, what do you mean?
• 52:35
  I need to know the angle of my cup to pour it in my mouth?
• 52:37
  Like there's there's so or like, even though when you're pouring,
• 52:42
  like when do you know when to stop?
• 52:43
  How do you like? And all of that takes so much
• 52:46
  practice and kids, I think kids love learning, they love
• 52:50
  exploring. And even our parents who aren't
• 52:53
  able to do the activities, when kids are able to kind of watch
• 52:56
  it on TV, at least they kind of get to experience a little bit
• 52:59
  of it through that. And so because I had one mom
• 53:02
  write to me, she's like, we're not able to do all those things.
• 53:04
  And I feel so bad. I'm like, don't feel bad.
• 53:05
  I try to show because some people can't get to that.
• 53:08
  Like, so let let me be like I, I always want the show to be like,
• 53:14
  if silly miss flu like came over to your house so you can go take
• 53:17
  a shower so you can go get a break, so you can go get your
• 53:20
  nails done. And I had an opportunity to just
• 53:22
  like sit with your kid to give you a break.
• 53:25
  That's what I wanted to feel like.
• 53:27
  I wanted to feel like you like, or if your kid comes over to my
• 53:29
  house and we're like in the playroom, like I just, I wanted
• 53:32
  to be, I want to be your village.
• 53:34
  I want to give you the break. Wow, so you can have a moment.
• 53:38
  I didn't give myself a moment and I'm still not.
• 53:41
  And, but I, I, you know, I, I want to do it for, for others.
• 53:49
  And it kind of happened in this way where, you know, really grew
• 53:53
  my relationship with my daughter and now with, with my son.
• 53:56
  And you know, we're, we've developed cotton socks, right.
• 54:01
  So it's like my daughter and I joke about it where we kind of
• 54:05
  say like, OK, scoot over, Mickey Mouse, here comes Cotton Socks,
• 54:08
  right? Because we're working on books,
• 54:10
  we want to do an animated show. We want to do an extension.
• 54:15
  You know, Mr. Rogers had Daniel's Neighborhood, so we
• 54:19
  want to do Cotton Fox Treehouse. Like, I have the series written
• 54:23
  out, right? So it'd be like, OK, do we find
• 54:26
  an animation company? And if you look into that, it's
• 54:29
  so expensive because they do it like per minute per 30 seconds.
• 54:33
  And it's so pricey. But I'm like, let me try it on
• 54:41
  my own. And I know it's going to look
• 54:44
  like a picture of cotton moving over here.
• 54:46
  I know that. And that's OK.
• 54:48
  And that's where we're starting. And those who are growing with
• 54:52
  the show, right, I think it's kind of cool to see.
• 54:55
  Like, before there wasn't this Bunny or the outfit, and now
• 54:58
  there is, and it's growing and, you know, then cotton socks.
• 55:02
  I have some characters written out, you know, inspired by
• 55:05
  different things. And so sometimes I forget that
• 55:11
  this is only the beginning. Yeah, well, it's the same.
• 55:15
  It's the staircase, Yeah. Right, right, right, right.
• 55:18
  It's the staircase. Isn't that stuff?
• 55:20
  You just look and the stair looks exactly the same as the
• 55:23
  one before that. And The thing is the one up
• 55:25
  ahead of you looks exactly the same.
• 55:29
  So you're like, why am I going to do it when it looks exactly
• 55:31
  the same? Because you got to stay
• 55:33
  consistent. You just got to stay consistent.
• 55:35
  You got to keep going. Have you found that because
• 55:42
  obviously like this life altering event and then getting
• 55:47
  married and moving to Tennessee is obviously a big change from
• 55:53
  like being in your 20s and living in LA pursuing acting.
• 55:58
  Have you found that? Like have you found that you
• 56:02
  miss the like acting part of it? Or are you like, because this is
• 56:09
  such like a thing that you can fill your creative side and
• 56:16
  don't have to like submit your tape and hope that somebody
• 56:20
  likes that. Have you found that this is more
• 56:24
  fulfilling for you than than acting than yeah, then.
• 56:30
  What a great question. You know, I think it's, I think
• 56:34
  it's like a double sided coin, right?
• 56:37
  And I think depending on which phase of my period cycle I'm in
• 56:41
  is how I feel about it. Because Lord knows if I'm in my
• 56:44
  ludial phase like I am like, do I hate myself or am I in the
• 56:50
  ludial phase? Do I hate everything I'm doing
• 56:52
  and everything about my, you know, it's like, or are my
• 56:55
  hormones just out of whack? I think, I think I'm, I think I
• 57:02
  miss, I think I miss acting in a way, the thrill of working with
• 57:14
  others, working on a project. I think I liked the, the, the
• 57:24
  auditions, right? I didn't like the rejection, but
• 57:33
  there is, you know, like a, like a challenge in it, right?
• 57:38
  And I think if I'm being very transparent, very honest, I
• 57:44
  think somewhere in the back I, I wanted to be picked, right?
• 57:49
  I wanted to belong. I wanted to be a part of
• 57:53
  something. I want it, you know, And again,
• 57:57
  I would I would send that to my childhood of like never feeling
• 58:02
  like I really belonged anywhere, never really feeling like like I
• 58:06
  watch these real sometimes of this like really close group of
• 58:10
  girlfriends. And I'm like, goodness, that
• 58:12
  looks like so much fun. I do not have that.
• 58:14
  I wish I did, but goodness, does that look fun.
• 58:17
  And I think that was an important part of like that
• 58:19
  group we built in LA of like comedians and actors and some
• 58:24
  singers. It was such a mix of all really,
• 58:28
  starting so little and now knowing where some are and where
• 58:33
  like, it's kind of enriching in that way.
• 58:40
  I think in a way I miss acting because I think it just was so
• 58:49
  abrupt. It wasn't like, oh, I give up on
• 58:55
  it or I don't want to do it anymore or, you know, it just, I
• 59:01
  think I just cut myself off because I was like, I don't, I
• 59:04
  didn't know what to do. I, I, you know, I was so lost.
• 59:12
  And so I think there's a part of me that would absolutely love to
• 59:15
  do it again, but I also want to make sure like at Paisley's
• 59:22
  Corner is growing into this really beautiful big thing.
• 59:26
  And I don't know what the future of that looks like except for
• 59:31
  like bigger and brighter and better.
• 59:33
  You know, my daughter's a part of it.
• 59:34
  And she's the biggest ray of sunshine I've ever got to be
• 59:38
  close with. And so I'm I'm interested to see
• 59:46
  because I think at this point it's almost like I have three
• 59:52
  years of self tapes out there. And and, and you do, you know,
• 59:59
  last year I was contacted by a show and they're like, Hey, we
• 1:00:03
  have this character for a daughter for this thing.
• 1:00:07
  You'd be perfect for it. So I just.
• 1:00:09
  It was odd because I got to skip the audition process, which I've
• 1:00:13
  never done before. I've heard of stories, right?
• 1:00:16
  Like I've heard of the stories. And so that happened to me.
• 1:00:20
  And they're like, hey, so here's the creators, here's the
• 1:00:23
  director, and you're just going to get on a Zoom call.
• 1:00:25
  And I was like, what do you mean?
• 1:00:27
  Like what do you mean? And so I got on a call and we
• 1:00:31
  just talked about values and believes essentially, right?
• 1:00:37
  And so then they write back and they're like, yes, we'd love to
• 1:00:39
  have this is perfect. And it was right when I had my
• 1:00:44
  son. And so they're like, hey, here's
• 1:00:47
  the show. We can give you this many spots
• 1:00:49
  and everything. And I was like, whoa.
• 1:00:51
  And then we had to look at the details and it just wouldn't
• 1:00:55
  have worked. My son was only like 3 weeks
• 1:00:59
  old. I was still trying to breastfeed
• 1:01:02
  and pump. So to be away and filming on a
• 1:01:05
  set, honestly, I just, I kept trying to figure out how to make
• 1:01:12
  it work. And then I felt bad, right?
• 1:01:20
  And so, but the experience was cool because I've never got to
• 1:01:24
  experience that where it's like, oh, you're just going to get a
• 1:01:27
  call with. And I was like.
• 1:01:31
  The Dream. Right, because I feel like in LA
• 1:01:35
  you, you just, you just hear that's like, oh, you know,
• 1:01:37
  they're considering so and so forecasting.
• 1:01:39
  It's like, well, do they add like audition as others or like
• 1:01:42
  are they just right? And so it's just, it's so
• 1:01:48
  interesting and it's, it's also interesting because I think
• 1:01:53
  what's so different, you know, I was in LA seven years ago and I
• 1:01:58
  think within the last seven years, maybe it was the COVID,
• 1:02:02
  right, because everyone started posting on TikTok and it's isn't
• 1:02:07
  it? It's like, I want, I want to
• 1:02:08
  know what they're going to say about COVID and history books,
• 1:02:14
  but these so much right, right. It's so it's so interest, just
• 1:02:21
  even like the social aspects of things.
• 1:02:24
  And I think this influencer currency, right, came into play,
• 1:02:33
  which wasn't, I don't think it was even out right.
• 1:02:40
  Like before 2020, there were some maybe influencers.
• 1:02:44
  But I feel like even if you're going to think like, let's think
• 1:02:47
  really big TikTok star Charlie D'amelio, she broke out in
• 1:02:50
  2020-2021 through TikTok. And then it like it.
• 1:02:56
  She started a trend, right? She was an influencer.
• 1:02:58
  She really influenced people to do more of that.
• 1:03:00
  And then we started seeing this uprising of more influencers.
• 1:03:04
  And now there's some influencers who are so big, they're just
• 1:03:07
  getting booked over those who have been in acting school for
• 1:03:13
  15 years, right? And you can see that example in
• 1:03:21
  different things and so on one way, I think in some ways, it
• 1:03:27
  almost feels unfair, I would think, right?
• 1:03:32
  And then another way, it also gives this opportunity to
• 1:03:36
  people, you know, like, let's say somebody's in small town,
• 1:03:39
  they're really good at basketball and they have no
• 1:03:41
  chance of going to college. They have no chance to get
• 1:03:43
  picked. They have no chance for anybody
• 1:03:45
  to even see their skill Until now.
• 1:03:47
  They just posted on TikTok, the biggest league signs them.
• 1:03:51
  Whoa, whoa. OK, so if you have a ski.
• 1:03:58
  Field. Right.
• 1:04:00
  In some ways. Right the.
• 1:04:02
  People that might not get those opportunities because right by
• 1:04:07
  circumstances. Yeah, because you can see it
• 1:04:10
  internationally too, right? Or just within America, if you
• 1:04:15
  want to look. But there's people who are
• 1:04:18
  opening up bakeries and opening up businesses from their
• 1:04:22
  hobbies, right? Isn't there a girl who does
• 1:04:24
  glitter on pictures? And then the Kardashian and
• 1:04:27
  Jenner's hired her. And so now she's got this really
• 1:04:30
  big business putting glitter on pictures.
• 1:04:34
  And so we're in this new Taylor Swift era, if you will, of like,
• 1:04:40
  hey, what do you love to do? Can you do it every day?
• 1:04:44
  Do you feel comfortable showing people what you love to do?
• 1:04:48
  Because if you stick to it, it will find the right eyes.
• 1:04:56
  But it's so scary to put yourself out there, right?
• 1:05:00
  I feel like even with my social media, I don't think it
• 1:05:05
  represents even 10% of what I do day-to-day or even all of my
• 1:05:11
  full ideas or big rights because there's just so many minutes in
• 1:05:16
  a day. And if I could take my own
• 1:05:20
  advice, I really should, but I don't.
• 1:05:25
  Yeah, I was going to ask. I was like, is there any time
• 1:05:28
  that you take just like relax and watch a show?
• 1:05:32
  Cause I've seen how and you've even said like the waking up at
• 1:05:37
  4:00 or five or like doing your like videos late at night.
• 1:05:41
  And I'm like, do you, are you a, are you one of those people
• 1:05:45
  who's just able to run on like barely?
• 1:05:48
  I mean, obviously you have two kids anyway, so sleep is.
• 1:05:52
  Probably right So. Anyway, but how do you manage to
• 1:05:57
  like? I go to sleep at 9:00 PM.
• 1:06:01
  Oh. I go to sleep with my daughter
• 1:06:04
  like like I'll. Fall asleep early and like kudos
• 1:06:08
  you to like be AI. Maybe it's like if you're more
• 1:06:13
  consistent with it. I like cannot get myself.
• 1:06:18
  I'll tell you. The dream of those like.
• 1:06:21
  It's. Up and have that like 2 hours
• 1:06:24
  I'm like and I'm more of a morning person anyway so I
• 1:06:29
  should do. No.
• 1:06:31
  So I'll tell you this. So I did it once and it was
• 1:06:33
  because I had to do I, I can't do any.
• 1:06:37
  I can't do anything during the day because I'm just full mom
• 1:06:39
  mode. And so I can't.
• 1:06:43
  I just can't do it. I want to, but I can't.
• 1:06:45
  I want to but I can't. I see others do it and I applaud
• 1:06:47
  it, but I can't. And so I had like a brand deal
• 1:06:50
  and I needed to get some editing done.
• 1:06:51
  And the only time I could do it was if I woke up.
• 1:06:54
  And so I had to. And this was like a year ago.
• 1:06:56
  So I woke up early and then I did it.
• 1:06:58
  And then I was done and I was like, well, I'm up.
• 1:07:01
  So I, I changed the laundry, I cleaned the kitchen, everything
• 1:07:05
  only took me maybe like 2-3 minutes.
• 1:07:07
  And then I was like done. And I still had time And I was
• 1:07:10
  like, what is this? And I was so inspired.
• 1:07:12
  I was like, I'd love to do this again.
• 1:07:14
  Let me set my alarm tomorrow. And then I set my alarm and I
• 1:07:17
  said Nope. Yeah.
• 1:07:19
  I'm not doing that at all. I'm so tired.
• 1:07:21
  What are you talking about? I get it.
• 1:07:23
  You were like high on productivity yesterday, but like
• 1:07:26
  girl, never again. Never again.
• 1:07:29
  And it was like 3 months that went by and then I think I had
• 1:07:35
  to do it for someone else. And then I had this realization
• 1:07:38
  that I'm like, it's so pathetic that I'm willing to wake up
• 1:07:42
  three hours early when I hate myself.
• 1:07:44
  And I'm like, it's so early. I don't want to be doing
• 1:07:47
  anything, but I'm willing to do it for somebody else.
• 1:07:51
  And I don't have enough believe in myself to do it for me.
• 1:07:55
  That's sad. Why don't I love myself?
• 1:07:58
  Why don't I believe in myself? Why, why, why do I give more
• 1:08:01
  respect to this company who really doesn't care about me?
• 1:08:04
  Like, thank you for paying and doing this band.
• 1:08:06
  Love it. And I'm very, I'm, I've been
• 1:08:10
  very picky with the collaborations and brands
• 1:08:14
  because I think we've created such a trusted brand, you know,
• 1:08:18
  like families welcome me into their home.
• 1:08:23
  And so like I, I try to be very picky and with ones that like
• 1:08:28
  make sense and we use, I'm like, yeah, let's do it.
• 1:08:31
  But still, I'm like, I'm willing to work for them and stay up
• 1:08:36
  until 1:00 in the morning. I wake up at 5:00 in the morning
• 1:08:40
  and try to do it again and I'm already tired, but I'm not
• 1:08:43
  willing to do that for myself. Why don't I love?
• 1:08:47
  I literally set a reminder on my phone and it goes off.
• 1:08:51
  Believe in yourself because I don't and it's so sad and I'm
• 1:08:58
  trying to learn to believe in myself.
• 1:09:00
  I'm trying to learn. But that conversation, that
• 1:09:04
  thing when I realized that helps me drive through it and
• 1:09:13
  sometimes I wake up and I just snooze it.
• 1:09:14
  I'm like, no chance. There's just no forget about it.
• 1:09:17
  And then more so if I have to get something done and I'm like,
• 1:09:22
  OK, but I have to do it, I won't have another time during the day
• 1:09:25
  to do it. So I have to like, I don't have
• 1:09:27
  another option. And I have a lot of survival
• 1:09:30
  instinct in me again to the childhood and all of that.
• 1:09:34
  And so it's like, I, I don't, I wouldn't want anyone to live in
• 1:09:43
  the mental space that I live to get things done.
• 1:09:47
  That's so interesting that from because Even so, it being such
• 1:09:52
  an internal thing because like as an outsider or being able to
• 1:09:56
  see like the success that your show has the has had and like
• 1:10:02
  the following that you've cultivated and like, it seems
• 1:10:06
  like it would be easy to be proud of yourself and believe in
• 1:10:13
  yourself and be like, look what I've done.
• 1:10:16
  But when all of that is from the outside, it's not the same as.
• 1:10:22
  Yeah, but that I, I think I'm very hard on myself.
• 1:10:29
  I don't take a moment to like sit down and really appreciate
• 1:10:32
  it and I, I should, but I value myself in productivity.
• 1:10:42
  I've never seen anybody, you know, my mom or my grandma ever
• 1:10:45
  sit down. And so I don't take the time to
• 1:10:48
  relax or sit. I, I try to remind myself that I
• 1:10:53
  need to model it for my daughter, right?
• 1:10:55
  Because they look, I think kids learn from our habits, whether
• 1:10:58
  it's physical habits or vocal habits or things we say all the
• 1:11:01
  time or things we do all the time.
• 1:11:03
  And so the only time I sit down is when I mentally tell myself I
• 1:11:07
  need to model it for my daughter that it's OK to relax.
• 1:11:09
  And I'll sit there and I'll think about it.
• 1:11:11
  You know, you have to sit there. You have to keep sitting there.
• 1:11:13
  You have to keep sitting there. You have to keep sitting there.
• 1:11:15
  And then I hate myself even more.
• 1:11:16
  And so I'm like, you can get up and clean the kitchen.
• 1:11:19
  You can get up and go switch the lawn you.
• 1:11:21
  And I'm like, no, I need to also show this part.
• 1:11:24
  Everything's teaching, you know. And so for me to relax, it's
• 1:11:27
  like I, it's like I have to force myself to do it because I
• 1:11:33
  feel so uncomfortable not be doing something because I feel
• 1:11:37
  like if I'm not doing something, I'm not valuable because that's
• 1:11:42
  how I was, you know? Yeah.
• 1:11:45
  And have you seen Encanto? Yeah.
• 1:11:48
  Yeah, You know, Luisa, the strong one, where she's like, so
• 1:11:52
  I resonate with her a lot, where she's like, I feel like I'm not
• 1:11:55
  worth it if I'm not helping somebody, if I'm not doing
• 1:11:58
  anything. Do I even have of value to me?
• 1:12:01
  Right. And it's like to with my
• 1:12:04
  daughter when I have the conversations because we love to
• 1:12:06
  analyze characters. And so we're like Luis, of
• 1:12:08
  course, you don't have to be perfect.
• 1:12:10
  Like yes, you're strong, but doesn't mean you have to be
• 1:12:12
  strong for everyone. You need to relax and, you know,
• 1:12:14
  so we'll, in our discussions, we talk about that.
• 1:12:19
  And then sometimes I'm in my head and I'm like, I really need
• 1:12:24
  to take my own advice, but I won't, you know, but I'm hoping
• 1:12:29
  that I can do the right thing by my daughter and my son and teach
• 1:12:31
  them the right things to do and take time for themselves.
• 1:12:35
  And, you know, and so when I can't do it physically, I'll try
• 1:12:39
  to do it vocally where it's through conversations.
• 1:12:41
  I'm like, Hey, this is the way you should do.
• 1:12:44
  But it's. So hard.
• 1:12:46
  Or it's like people say like when you become a parent there,
• 1:12:51
  you're also kind of re parenting yourself.
• 1:12:54
  And it's yeah. Oh shit.
• 1:12:56
  Oh my. God, yeah.
• 1:12:58
  Yeah. I think that's been my biggest
• 1:13:02
  struggle and perhaps healing, right?
• 1:13:07
  Because I learned anything that's a trigger is a bruise,
• 1:13:11
  right? Because if somebody does
• 1:13:12
  something, it shouldn't even matter to you unless you've been
• 1:13:16
  made to feel that way before, unless somebody has said those
• 1:13:19
  things to you before. And so when that happens again,
• 1:13:21
  it feels like a pressing on that bruise, right?
• 1:13:23
  It triggers. You can be like how I know how
• 1:13:26
  this is going to feel from experience.
• 1:13:29
  And so learning my triggers has been so exhausting because
• 1:13:39
  mentally I have to constantly check in and be like, whoa,
• 1:13:43
  right. Like I, I constantly like my
• 1:13:46
  kids aren't annoying. I'm annoyed because I wasn't
• 1:13:50
  brought up or raised this way, or I'm feeling frustrated or I'm
• 1:13:58
  feeling let down or I'm feeling angry with my partner or
• 1:14:03
  whatever. Like, OK, but why?
• 1:14:07
  But why? But why, right?
• 1:14:10
  Because it's so hard to uncover all of those and really start
• 1:14:15
  digging into your own roots of things.
• 1:14:18
  And right, we're not just cutting the plant off and it's
• 1:14:23
  going to regrow again. OK, now we're going to put our
• 1:14:24
  hands in the dirt and it's going to get dirty.
• 1:14:27
  And some of these plants are really pokey and all of these
• 1:14:31
  roots are so intertwined. How am I ever going to find
• 1:14:33
  this? We got to do the work and then
• 1:14:37
  the reflection really starts beginning right.
• 1:14:40
  I try to be really courteous and kind in the fact of like,
• 1:14:43
  obviously my parents had a very different right.
• 1:14:46
  They didn't have these circumstances and or the
• 1:14:49
  Internet to, to learn any better.
• 1:14:52
  They did what they could in the circumstances that they were in
• 1:14:56
  and the things that they were presented with.
• 1:14:59
  And then sometimes I'm like, but why did you do that that way?
• 1:15:07
  Well, why did you do that that way?
• 1:15:09
  But what if you didn't do it the way that you did it?
• 1:15:12
  And so you know. Well, it sounds like you're
• 1:15:20
  doing a great job with with your kids and like have that having
• 1:15:27
  that self reflection and you just like just even seeing you
• 1:15:34
  like on in your videos and how you interact with Paisley and
• 1:15:37
  the way that she just speaks like I'm like, she's so well
• 1:15:43
  spoken, like I said. So smart.
• 1:15:45
  So it's like. You're doing, you're doing,
• 1:15:50
  you're doing something right for sure.
• 1:15:52
  And they're very. Thank you for saying that.
• 1:15:56
  I just I know I wanted to hear more about because you mentioned
• 1:16:02
  you were a teacher as well and you're doing acting and I know
• 1:16:05
  how much like mental to prepare to do it, to get it done in the
• 1:16:10
  process. And then you got to be on your
• 1:16:12
  emails as well. And then you got to be with your
• 1:16:15
  kid as you know, like there's I'd love to what do you teach?
• 1:16:18
  You said you were done with teaching earlier this morning,
• 1:16:20
  so I wanted to ask. I teach.
• 1:16:22
  I teach musical theater like an improv to little little biddies.
• 1:16:29
  Little kids, yeah. Why don't you show more of that
• 1:16:34
  on your socials? That's a good question.
• 1:16:38
  Well, I feel like one of the places I teach, I teach
• 1:16:43
  different places. So I believe I, I actually don't
• 1:16:48
  know the rules about it, but like I don't want to show like.
• 1:16:52
  Where right, right, but like even at home, like if you were
• 1:16:57
  to like, hey, this is how like I would love to watch that and
• 1:17:00
  learn things I could teach to my kid, right, like I would love
• 1:17:03
  that. I'm going to start my own
• 1:17:06
  classes at a location here. And I did think about that for a
• 1:17:11
  little bit, like during COVID, because a girl that I had
• 1:17:16
  babysat her, they kind of went to Palm Desert and her mom had
• 1:17:23
  me like send videos of like activities and things for her.
• 1:17:27
  So I was like, oh, I could do that.
• 1:17:29
  And then I just kind of. Yeah.
• 1:17:32
  Easy to not do something. It's just easy to not do it.
• 1:17:37
  And then seeing like I was like, oh, Miss Rachel and then you and
• 1:17:41
  I was like, they've got it covered.
• 1:17:45
  But like, but yeah, I mean, I have thought about doing things
• 1:17:49
  just 'cause I do so many like emotion based things and improv
• 1:17:55
  based things, which I guess it would just be a learning curve
• 1:17:59
  of like the the nobody's responding and how to like.
• 1:18:05
  Yeah. Like everything is learning
• 1:18:08
  curve. Yeah, But I would be fascinated
• 1:18:11
  to learn about that. I think that's super cool.
• 1:18:14
  And, you know, there's not enough hot sauce, right?
• 1:18:21
  Like there's more people making more hot sauce today, and
• 1:18:24
  there'll be more people making more hot sauce tomorrow.
• 1:18:26
  There's not enough songs, and more people will be writing
• 1:18:30
  enough songs. Thank you for saying.
• 1:18:32
  Like there's Miss Rachel and Miss Lily, but there's like so
• 1:18:35
  many more people doing their own way.
• 1:18:38
  And whether you have something to offer that same or different,
• 1:18:46
  if you have an expertise or knowledge or talent in it, you
• 1:18:51
  know, why not share it with the world?
• 1:18:57
  I'd but of course, it's like, right, there's so many things
• 1:19:01
  already going on. So you know, if it's certain
• 1:19:05
  things we get to and we don't get to, but if you ever want any
• 1:19:12
  help or advice or in anything in any way totally happy to help or
• 1:19:16
  I don't know if I can offer you any, you know, like it.
• 1:19:19
  You seem so well aware within your acting world and your mom
• 1:19:27
  world. I know you only share a little
• 1:19:29
  bit and we're like social media friends essentially, right?
• 1:19:31
  So only have that point of view, a view of what you're willing to
• 1:19:35
  share and what I've seen so far. But though like you have a non
• 1:19:40
  spoken confidence that kind of runs through you, which is
• 1:19:44
  really cool to witness. Yeah.
• 1:19:47
  And I think, you know, I'd love to get to know more of you and
• 1:19:50
  what you do because I think, you know, I got the chit chat and
• 1:19:55
  Babylon and the app for such a long time, but I'd love to.
• 1:20:01
  Yeah, it's always interesting the things that we that we do
• 1:20:05
  share on social media cuz I find like lately I've been like just
• 1:20:11
  recently starting to do more of the just like the trends and
• 1:20:15
  funny videos, like make them relatable to like my situation.
• 1:20:20
  But then when it's things where it's like, oh, share it like a
• 1:20:24
  day in your life where I'm like, well, nobody cares about me like
• 1:20:28
  that. Or it's like getting over the
• 1:20:30
  other side, like getting the cringe or whatever it is where
• 1:20:35
  it's like, I find it fascinating to like, yeah, you do.
• 1:20:39
  Or it's like, I find it like I'm watching all of these other
• 1:20:43
  people. Like there has to be.
• 1:20:46
  So I don't know if this is helpful in any way, but before I
• 1:20:49
  started doing my day in the life, yeah, I would watch other
• 1:20:54
  people. And then I was like, well, I
• 1:20:55
  don't want to. Like, I'm just with my kids all
• 1:20:57
  day. Like, I'm just with my kids all
• 1:21:01
  day. Like, and I make meals and like,
• 1:21:03
  do the, you know, like, I didn't think that's fun at all.
• 1:21:06
  And then it was very surprising to me.
• 1:21:08
  And people were like, oh, this is really fun to watch, Like, to
• 1:21:10
  see. And I was like, what?
• 1:21:12
  Like I was so taken back. Yeah.
• 1:21:15
  Yeah. Yeah, it's it's.
• 1:21:20
  It was. Again to the thing like how we
• 1:21:22
  feel about ourselves versus like from from the outside.
• 1:21:27
  So it's. Yeah.
• 1:21:30
  Very interesting. How did you grow up?
• 1:21:34
  I grew up in in the Midwest. My parents were both.
• 1:21:40
  Is that what you asked? How did you grow?
• 1:21:42
  Up and. My parents were both.
• 1:21:45
  They're very artistic people, but didn't pursue artistic sides
• 1:21:53
  like they met doing a musical in college like they did everyone
• 1:21:57
  and the enjoyment of it, but they came I guess from and my
• 1:22:01
  mom was a was a high school theater director, so like she
• 1:22:06
  did pursue. It.
• 1:22:09
  Again, on the teaching side, but like never was brave enough to
• 1:22:13
  like petition or like do it first or not.
• 1:22:17
  I don't even know if it was brave enough, but like, you
• 1:22:19
  know, from like there. There's a yeah.
• 1:22:22
  How do you even we're in Saint Louis.
• 1:22:25
  Where do you go? What do you do like or my dad
• 1:22:28
  being like now he's, I mean he's always been a, a watercolorist
• 1:22:34
  and like him being now he's now he's doing that more and selling
• 1:22:40
  his art, but again, like not knowing where to do it.
• 1:22:44
  So I think a lot of my, if anything, blind determination to
• 1:22:53
  like. Yeah.
• 1:22:56
  They didn't pursue it. I'm going to pursue it if it
• 1:22:58
  kills me, like, but then again, becoming a mom being like, Oh,
• 1:23:06
  I'm not famous yet or I can't hire a nanny or I can't XY and Z
• 1:23:14
  before I before I've had a kid, but my husband and I being like,
• 1:23:20
  Oh no, we get to model for her what it means to pursue.
• 1:23:26
  Like what it what? I didn't get to see my parents
• 1:23:30
  do that that maybe they wanted to.
• 1:23:34
  I don't think they regret anything that, you know, taking
• 1:23:38
  the jobs that they that they had.
• 1:23:41
  But but now I get to see. I get to show her.
• 1:23:48
  That's so special. Sure, she'll have her own issues
• 1:23:51
  with with that down the line. Right, right, right, right.
• 1:23:55
  You know, you and like you said with like we just try and do, if
• 1:24:01
  not better different from things that our parents did.
• 1:24:06
  And then of course, you know, there's going to be the things
• 1:24:09
  that we don't think about that our kids are like, oh, we'll do
• 1:24:13
  that. And it's always the the trickle
• 1:24:17
  down, or I guess the trickle, whichever the tree is the way
• 1:24:20
  the tree. That's so like rich to pass down
• 1:24:28
  the value of pursuing something the the want to learn more, to
• 1:24:33
  not give up and keep going. And like, I don't know, that's
• 1:24:39
  so admirable and so honorable. Yeah, as part of me is like, am
• 1:24:45
  I just still pursuing it because I'm so damn stubborn or, you
• 1:24:51
  know, or like, it's like the stubbornness and the delusional
• 1:24:55
  of the delusion that just keeps me.
• 1:24:58
  Right. But is it OK?
• 1:24:59
  And so I'd love to just ask because, but you're an actor,
• 1:25:05
  right? You're not pursuing it, you're
• 1:25:07
  doing it. Right.
• 1:25:09
  And I find myself saying that all the time.
• 1:25:12
  So I think I just was thinking of sharing something with that
• 1:25:17
  too, where it's like if you're doing it, yeah, how we keep I I
• 1:25:24
  keep saying it too, where I'm like, I'm keeping acting and
• 1:25:27
  it's like, well, I'm doing it and I'm auditioning.
• 1:25:31
  It's not like. You're doing like you're already
• 1:25:34
  doing it. It's.
• 1:25:36
  So like and great, just say that where it's yeah, because you can
• 1:25:41
  say I mean anybody. I mean, yeah, of of course
• 1:25:46
  there's actors now who like, like don't have to audition
• 1:25:50
  anymore, but they're still. But it's honestly only a handful
• 1:25:53
  of those. Really.
• 1:25:54
  Very. Much.
• 1:25:55
  There's only a handful of those, and the rest is like just actors
• 1:25:59
  just doing it and acting it. And yeah, doing it, yeah.
• 1:26:03
  Cuz it's like, or you're just going to say you're pursuing it
• 1:26:06
  until until you die. Cuz it's like we're all.
• 1:26:10
  We're all pursuing life. We're all pursuing living.
• 1:26:12
  Yeah, yeah. It's like, aren't we all
• 1:26:14
  pursuing? So, right, and I guess that
• 1:26:17
  maybe that's the thing too, is like you want to keep pursuing,
• 1:26:21
  right? You want to keep challenging
• 1:26:23
  yourself. You want to keep trying.
• 1:26:25
  You want to keep, you know, it's like, I guess chefs are
• 1:26:30
  pursuing. It's like, do you pursue being a
• 1:26:31
  chef? Well, you cook and then you cook
• 1:26:33
  again, then you cook again, then you cook again, then you're
• 1:26:35
  still going to cook again. Is it just a phrase in LA?
• 1:26:40
  Because I'm like, I remember also saying that like, oh, I'm
• 1:26:43
  pursuing. It's like, wait, no, but I'm not
• 1:26:46
  pursuing mommy. But I'm still going to do it
• 1:26:48
  tomorrow. It's like, I'm a mom.
• 1:26:50
  I'm a mom. I'm a mamacita.
• 1:26:52
  No, I'm a mommy. I'm a mommy mamacita.
• 1:26:55
  No, I'm a mommy. Well, yeah, I think.
• 1:26:59
  Do you pursue? Are you pursuing mommy right
• 1:27:00
  now? Who's suing it?
• 1:27:02
  Are you pursuing me? OK, I'm also pursuing mommy.
• 1:27:05
  So tomorrow. Too.
• 1:27:08
  Is your Is your husband pursuing husband tree?
• 1:27:11
  Oh, right. It's so funny.
• 1:27:13
  There was a, there was a thing where it was like if, if people
• 1:27:20
  talked to like lawyers or something, like people talk to
• 1:27:26
  actors for that's. So funny.
• 1:27:29
  Are you still? Are you pursuing?
• 1:27:30
  Are you still pursuing clients? What?
• 1:27:33
  What was the last? What was the last case you had?
• 1:27:38
  Yeah, what's what's the last? Are you still pursuing justice
• 1:27:42
  or are you pursuing what's your real job?
• 1:27:44
  What's your real job? Are you?
• 1:27:47
  Yeah, it's so it is interesting how.
• 1:27:52
  Is that what? Is that?
• 1:27:54
  Because it's so LA, that's so LA, right?
• 1:27:58
  But only with that. We need to like.
• 1:28:03
  Give it a be. It needs a better rap because
• 1:28:07
  it's just like self diminishing. What do you mean for I'm doing
• 1:28:12
  it. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:28:14
  Are you pursuing firefighting like, well, probably when, when
• 1:28:18
  was your last fire? I don't know.
• 1:28:20
  Yeah, Yeah, you can. You're.
• 1:28:21
  Not always putting out fires right like.
• 1:28:24
  Where it's so funny in any other.
• 1:28:28
  Capacity, right? What is?
• 1:28:30
  That. Why is that so normalized for?
• 1:28:36
  Are you pursuing acting? I'm trying to think of other
• 1:28:39
  things that are you pursuing. Maybe it's just the arts.
• 1:28:43
  Are you pursuing dancing? Are you pursuing painting?
• 1:28:45
  No, it's like, oh, I'm a painter.
• 1:28:48
  Oh, I'm a dancer. Yeah, I guess it's more of just
• 1:28:51
  like the like you had set, like the auditioning of like, I want
• 1:28:56
  to, I want to get it and I want to.
• 1:28:59
  It's where you find that, you know, people tend to work more
• 1:29:04
  once they a lot of like once you become a parent too, because you
• 1:29:09
  kind of take away the preciousness of like the I want
• 1:29:13
  to get the job. I want to do it right.
• 1:29:15
  I want the person to pick me. Like the pick me.
• 1:29:18
  All the actors are all the pick me girls like Oh, but you.
• 1:29:24
  A little bit of that. Though Yeah.
• 1:29:25
  And it's like, but you find your person or you find or you tend
• 1:29:30
  to book when it's like you're not.
• 1:29:32
  Yeah. Less because you don't want to
• 1:29:35
  date the person who's desperate. To.
• 1:29:37
  Beat you. You don't want to pick the like
• 1:29:39
  you can. You can.
• 1:29:41
  You can so sense it isn't that so you can totally see it.
• 1:29:45
  That's so interesting, right. Oh, I'm pursuing being a wife.
• 1:29:50
  Yeah. Yeah, But I.
• 1:29:53
  Guess you would say this. I mean, it would be the same
• 1:29:56
  because it's in the same vein of like of like your show where
• 1:30:01
  it's like, oh, you're, you're pursuing, but it's like not
• 1:30:03
  you're, you're doing it. You're not.
• 1:30:05
  I mean, right, It's. Growing, but like, so is
• 1:30:09
  everything. Yeah, it's wild.
• 1:30:10
  It's very confusing. I guess maybe that's maybe
• 1:30:15
  that's The thing is the ladder, right?
• 1:30:17
  So like, I guess within the actor world, it's considered
• 1:30:24
  that you're climbing up to be an A Lister in other occupation.
• 1:30:34
  It's like, well, no, because not all lawyers are the same.
• 1:30:37
  And like that still doesn't really make sense.
• 1:30:39
  But I think knowledge. But then wouldn't it be the same
• 1:30:44
  thing with like influencers and content creators?
• 1:30:47
  It's like I'm interested to see what it does with the world in
• 1:30:51
  the next five years or 10 years, right?
• 1:30:53
  Like what does that look like? Because it's already being used
• 1:30:55
  as currency where it's like, OK, well if I make 5 videos for this
• 1:30:58
  hotel, like I haven't had this pleasure of, of a brand deal.
• 1:31:03
  But I see other people's have had this pleasure of a brand
• 1:31:06
  deal where they get to fly, you know, flight out and they get to
• 1:31:08
  stay in this and they're like, oh, it's 5 reels to get to stay
• 1:31:11
  in this like thing. And I'm like, wow, that is so
• 1:31:14
  cool. We're just paying with videos.
• 1:31:20
  Yeah. I want to get a cool deal like
• 1:31:24
  that. I want to be.
• 1:31:26
  I want to be flown out to and be dressed.
• 1:31:31
  Yeah. For things.
• 1:31:35
  You were pursuing it. OK, Emily.
• 1:31:37
  You keep pursuing it. OK.
• 1:31:38
  You you keep pursuing. You keep pursuing life.
• 1:31:43
  Oh my goodness, that's funny. Well, it has been.
• 1:31:46
  I mean, yes, Oh my God, we could just keep talking, but I will we
• 1:31:51
  have we got to get moving. We got.
• 1:31:53
  To we got to pursue our kids. OK, we're going to go pursue our
• 1:31:56
  kids. It has been such a pleasure
• 1:32:01
  chatting with you and. It's so nice to meet you so
• 1:32:04
  much. More and we'll, we'll stay in
• 1:32:07
  touch and and then of course, I will send you all the info when
• 1:32:13
  the when the episodes coming out and and all jazz.
• 1:32:17
  We're just like, I'm just recording all the episodes to
• 1:32:21
  hopefully put them out in, start season 6 in like later in August
• 1:32:27
  or September maybe. You keep pursuing it, OK, And
• 1:32:30
  you're sixth season you, you know, maybe pursue it a little
• 1:32:34
  bit. I don't know.
• 1:32:38
  Oh my goodness. Well, thank.
• 1:32:40
  You. I'm gonna pursue some dinner
• 1:32:41
  later. I'm going to pursue it.
• 1:32:45
  Yeah, I should. Just start saying that for
• 1:32:47
  everything now. Yeah.
• 1:32:49
  Oh, nice to meet you. What do you do?
• 1:32:51
  You're a police officer. Are you pursuing that?
• 1:32:53
  Are you pursuing that? Are you pursuing some bad guys?
• 1:32:56
  Are you going to pursue? Is it a foot pursue or is it a
• 1:32:59
  cop pursue? What are you up to?
• 1:33:03
  OK, My goodness. All right, girl.
• 1:33:08
  Right. Well, you take care.
• 1:33:10
  You too. And that's our episode.
• 1:33:12
  Thank you so much for listening and being a part of Mommy Wood.
• 1:33:16
  I am so, so happy to have you here.
• 1:33:19
  A huge thank you to my dear friend and amazing producer
• 1:33:22
  Cecilia Tripp with Laurel Canyon Creative.
• 1:33:25
  And a big thank you to Edith Mudge for our theme music.
• 1:33:29
  If you could please make sure that you like, follow, subscribe
• 1:33:33
  wherever it is you get your podcast as well as leave a
• 1:33:36
  review, which is a wonderful way to support Mommy would.
• 1:33:41
  Please make sure you also follow us on social media, Instagram
• 1:33:45
  and TikTok at mommy would podcast.
• 1:33:48
  And thank you again for listening.
• 1:33:50
  Take care.