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Connected but Alone: The Modern Loneliness Crisis · J&B Live Podcast

0:00
Welcome. Come on in. Welcome to another episode of JMB Live.
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Tonight, guys, we have an interesting topic for you this evening.
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Broker J3 is going to be joining us via audio.
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So he'll be able to join in on this conversation. We're talking about this evening,
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why everyone is so lonely.
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Even when we're more connected than ever before, people still are lonely.
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And so we wanted to talk about this because we often hear some of our friends
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that say that they are lonely.
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So we wanted to share this conversation with you.
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Okay. All right. We got somebody that said they're going to mute us.
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We already see that. But please listen to what we have to say about why everyone
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is so lonely, even when we're more connected than ever.
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Okay. So welcome to another JNB Live podcast where we have real conversations
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about real life issues that affect real people.
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It affects you guys. So tonight we're discussing a topic that may impact every
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race, every gender, age group.
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And even every economic background we're talking about why people are so lonely
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even in this world of advanced technology
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we live in a world where we can video chat across continents you know send instant
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messages connect with thousands of people through social media it's available you can do it okay,
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yet despite all of that people are still lonely you know them likes and them
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them friends, them hearts, people are still lonely despite all of the technology advances.
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Millions of people are reporting that they feel more lonely than ever before.
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And you have to ask yourself, why is that?
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Why do people feel lonely? Are you lonely? Even though you reach out to people
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and communicate with people on social media, have we mistaken being connected,
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for actually having meaningful relationships?
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Are those relationships that you have with people that are liking,
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hearting you, are those meaningful relationships?
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Is loneliness becoming one of the biggest silent challenges of our generation?
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So tonight, Broker J3 and I are going to explore those causes,
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those consequences, and solutions to modern loneliness, okay?
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So we need you. We need you guys to join in on the conversation.
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We want you to share your thoughts.
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And guys, like we say, let's talk about it. All right, Brother Day 3.
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Okay, guys. So are we really connected?
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Are we really connected? Broker Day 3, let's start with the obvious question.
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We have more ways to communicate than any generation.
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All these cell phones, everybody want the latest. You got the tablets,
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you got the iPads, you got everything.
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But why are people reporting higher levels of loneliness?
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Well, Doc B, I think we've confused access with connection.
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Just because someone can reach hundreds of people doesn't mean that they have
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one person they can truly depend on.
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Many people have thousands of followers, but nobody to call when life gets hard.
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And that's sad that they have all of these followers and that's what they want.
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They're pushing for that.
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This is a powerful conversation, guys. Technology will allow us to stay informed
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about people's lives because we get to see what they're doing.
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They're traveling, they're going out on date night.
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We get to see people's lives without actually participating in their lives.
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We get to see it, you know, up front on social media.
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So we see updates, we see photos, we see them videos. They out having a good
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time, but we don't always engage in a meaningful conversation with them.
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That is so true, Dobby. You know, many people know what their friends had for
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lunch, but they don't know how their friends are really feeling.
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We become spectators in each other's lives rather than active participants.
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And perhaps, Broker J3, that's probably why a lot of people are becoming confused
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and are lonely. People are surrounded by digital interaction.
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That's all they're doing, using their phones.
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Everything digital, everything texting, but still feel emotionally isolated
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because they're not really communicating face to face.
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They're just doing it via text or via social media sites.
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I agree, Dr. B. Lowness isn't about being alone. We all know that.
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It's about feeling unseen, unheard, and disconnected from meaningful relationships.
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Okay, Force Doctrine says many people lie. Yeah, a lot of people are lying on
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the social media sites because you are actually seeing what they want you to see.
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Yes, they are. They have them fake lies. And we did an episode early on about
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how people are faking it on the social media sites and they look happy,
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but they're actually visible.
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So we have discussed that. So what I need you guys to do. Thank you again.
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Truth. Thank you, Forrest Doctrine.
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I need you guys to drop your city and state and let us know where you guys are
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from. All right. Big shout out to everyone joining us tonight.
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Let us know where you're watching from. So make sure you go ahead and put in
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your city or state or country.
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Let us know where you're coming from. Make sure you guys continue to tap that
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screen, depending on what platform you're on.
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And make sure you guys share the live, no matter what platform you're on. And tell us.
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Have you ever felt lonely while you were surrounded by a bunch of people?
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Okay, we've got Forrest Doctrine who's from Chi-Town. So shout out to you.
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Thank you for joining us. We appreciate you.
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And also guys, before we go any further, we want to thank our top supporters and our gifters.
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So keep those comments coming because we're reading through them right now.
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Thank you, Forrest Doctrine. We appreciate you.
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Okay, guys, come on in. Go ahead and drop me a heart and drop me a city and a state.
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All right, guys, let's talk about
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this social media, whether it's help or harm. Let's get into it, Doc B.
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So we're going to talk about the social media. Is it helping us connect with
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everybody, connecting with those you may have seen, have not seen in a long time?
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Or is it making loneliness worse off than it originally was? What do you think, guys?
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What do you think, Broker J3?
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I think it's both, Doc B. You know, social media can reconnect old friends and
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bring communities together,
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but it can also create an unrealistic expectation about what life should look like.
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Yeah, that is so true. People often are comparing their everyday reality to
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someone else's highlight reel.
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You know, you see people doing, going, traveling and doing this on the social
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media sites. And you say, well, hey, I could be doing that as well.
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You're comparing your life to that.
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They see the vacations. We see the celebrations. We see the promotions.
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We see the achievements.
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Without seeing the struggles, the high in them, that's what's so important.
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We don't see what they had to go through to get to where they are.
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Yeah, and that comparison can make people feel left out.
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You know, they begin asking themselves, why isn't my life like that?
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Even when the image they're seeing isn't really the full story.
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Yeah, like doctors said, sometimes it's the fake. They're just faking it. Yeah.
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So social media also rewards quantity over quality.
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Everybody knows that. We focus on followers. Yeah.
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Chicks are posting the pictures half-naked for the followers,
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for the likes and the views. Even the guys, they be buff. They be posting the
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half-naked pictures as well instead of trying to seek deeper relationships.
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And that's why people feel connected online but empty offline.
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It's almost like they built an audience but not necessarily a support system. Okay.
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That's interesting. That's interesting. So let's take a look at this post,
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the birthday post. Let's say, for instance, let's look at Sarah.
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Her birthday arrives. A lot of you've had that birthday.
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I've had a birthday not too long ago. Hundreds of people, they like her birthday
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posts. You get the little hearts, happy birthday. They're little three little
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cakes or somebody may send you an image, a happy birthday image.
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They built an audience, okay? So then what happens is after they,
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you see the hundreds of birthday posts.
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Dozens of people will leave a comment that says happy birthday yet nobody calls
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sarah no not one person nobody takes her to lunch,
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well happy belated birthday for a forced doctor he said yesterday was his birthday.
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But nobody takes her to lunch so guess how that makes her feel you know sarah
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appreciates the online wishes you know a lot of people get those on their birthday
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especially via Facebook.
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But at the end of the day, she feels disappointed and alone.
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You know, she realizes that that digital acknowledgement isn't the same as a genuine connection.
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You know, for my family birthday, you know, depending on how close they are,
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and I'm not trying to be funny, I'm either going to call them.
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Or send them a message. I mean, I always post it online.
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Sometimes I will, sometimes I don't. I try my best to, but that real connection
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is when somebody picks up the phone and calls to hear your voice and say happy
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birthday or happy anniversary or whatever case may be.
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That's that real connection because you're talking to them on a regular basis
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as opposed to the ones that you can speak to every day on social media,
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but never speak to in real life.
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And so, guys, this is what we do here at JMB Live. We believe in keeping it
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real, relevant, and raw.
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And so this is an eye-opener for me, too, because I am very quick to send a
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text. I'm going to be honest with you, because we all are busy.
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We're lifing. We got a lot going on.
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So I realized that it's more important for me to actually pick up the phone
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and call that person and wish them a happy birthday instead of,
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sending just that little happy birthday message or sending a text.
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Sometimes people do want to actually hear your voice, okay?
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So let's look at this guy. We got another comment. And happy 50th belated birthday to Force Doctrine.
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We have a comment that says, I'd rather have one phone call.
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Who's the comment from, Doc B?
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It's from Shannon, okay? I'd rather have one phone call than 100 Facebook comments.
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See, that's how important it is.
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People want to actually hear your voice instead of those Facebook comments.
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Those were happy birthdays because they're generic, to be honest with you.
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All right. We got another comment from New York's Finest 66.
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Okay. This happened to me last year. It opened my eyes.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. So BrokerJ3, which one means more to you? Which one is more important to you?
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You know what? Give me one genuine conversation over 1,000 likes every time, Dr. B.
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I would rather have one good conversation from somebody that really cares about
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me or was thinking about me, being considerate of me, rather than having 2,000
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or 3,000 likes of me saying, hey, everybody, it's my birthday.
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And everybody's liking it saying happy birthday, but only that one person genuinely
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called me to have a conversation and see how it was doing on my birthday.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. So guys, which morning would you prefer? Would you prefer
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that someone call you and wish you a happy birthday or would you prefer 100
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Facebook likes or a happy birthday post?
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I would take the person to actually call me and wish me a happy birthday.
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Yeah, it makes it more personal. Okay, guys. So guess what?
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Let's take a look at friendships and why friendships are changing.
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Because, you know, for me, I try to spend time with my friends,
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but the meaning of friendship is changing because of social media.
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So we're going to discuss friendships.
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Why do so many adults struggle to maintain friendships?
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You know, you have to maintain friendship. You have to nurture those connections
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as well. So why is this becoming so hard when you think broker j3.
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Give me just a moment, Doug B. Okay. All right. While you're doing that,
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I'm going to do a shout out to Matt Kelly.
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We've got The Chosen. We've got Jaden, Malani, Kai, Devon, Konek,
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and Big Shark. Welcome back. Dwight Jones, how are you doing this evening?
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Thank you guys for joining in on this conversation. We're talking about why
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everyone is so lonely, even in this age of technology where social media has
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made it so easy to connect with everyone.
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But people still feel lonely because of the fact we just talked about a lot
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of people have decided to just send happy birthday wishes instead of pick up
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the phone and actually call and speak directly with someone.
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And we gave an example of Sarah who said she had a birthday.
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But she got all the little happy birthday posts and everything,
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but not one single person called her and wished her a happy birthday and nobody
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called and said, hey, let me take you to lunch or let me take you to dinner.
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So she feels lonely. And she says she would rather have that one person or one
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person, it doesn't matter who, one person to call her and wish her a happy birthday
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rather than those hundred,
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happy birthday wishes on Facebook.
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So I asked the question, what you guys prefer. Okay. All right.
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So thank you guys for joining us.
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Hey, Nova 2333, how are you? And George Holmes, how are you guys doing this evening?
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All right, guys. So Broker J3, we're talking about how are you going to maintain
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those friendships? Why people are struggling?
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You know, life gets busy, Dobby. You know, careers, children,
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caregiving responsibilities, the financial pressures, especially what's going
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on now, and the daily stress, it can all consume our attention.
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Yes, it can. So those type of things, guys, are understandable.
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Okay, yet previous generations, they faced challenges too. They did it as well.
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So what is different now than it was back then?
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Well, many people no longer prioritize relationships the way they once did, Dot B.
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Yeah. You know, friendships have become optional instead of essential.
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And meaningful friendships require effort.
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You have to spend time with people, guys, if you want to maintain those meaningful relationships.
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You just can't call yourself friends. Now, I do have some friends that don't
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live in this area. But when they come to town or when I go to their town or city, then we do lunch.
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But you still can maintain that friendship even if you talk every now and then,
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guys. You can do that, okay?
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So they do. Meaningful relationships require time. They require communication,
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forgiveness, and consistency.
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Yeah, you have to put that out there. Exactly, Dot B. You know,
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strong friendships, they don't happen by accident, guys.
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They actually require intentional investment, literally.
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Yeah, so you've got to be intentional when you're dealing with your other friends,
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especially the ones that are very important to you.
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Okay, so I'm thinking, you know, loneliness may grow when relationships become
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something that we fit into our schedule.
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You know, sometimes you just try to fit it in or I'm going to text that person
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or, you know, just trying to maneuver things or whenever you get everything
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else out of the way. You know, trying to fit it into your schedule instead of
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something that you build your schedules around.
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And that's what a lot of people feel because they don't do that.
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You have to build your schedules around those relationships,
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those people that are very important to you.
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Okay. So I'm going to give a shout out to those of you who are watching from Georgia, Florida.
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We've got South Carolina in the house and we've got Alabama.
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So thank you guys for joining us. And I see you, Dylan Wayne.
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I see you active and I see you, Sean. Thank you guys for joining us.
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All right, guys, if you're enjoying tonight's discussion so far,
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please hit that share button and invite someone into the conversation.
16:52
Yeah, yeah, do that. Thank you so much.
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So the question is, can you be lonely in a relationship?
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I know you can. I know that that happens. So this may surprise some people,
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but loneliness isn't limited to a single individual.
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You know, you could be in a relationship and still be lonely.
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Absolutely, because some of the loneliest people are married or living with someone.
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Okay, so, and this is because physical presence, even though that person is
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there in the same room or in the same house, doesn't automatically create emotional
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connection. You got to communicate with that people.
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You know, some people are in a marriage and one person sleeping in one room,
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one person in another room, and they're not communicating with each other. So guess what?
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They're going to lose that connection that they once had.
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Yeah, that's right, Dr. B. Two people can share the same home while living emotionally
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separate lives. Yes, and that's sad.
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So communication, as I mentioned earlier, becomes very critical at this point
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when people are not communicating.
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I mean, becomes critical because they're not communicating. If couples just
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stop talking to each other, you know,
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beyond their daily responsibilities, emotional distance is going to grow and
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they're going to drift further and further apart.
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Yeah, and many people don't realize how disconnected they've actually become
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until, you know, the crisis exposes the gaps or that major gap that's in their relationship.
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And that's what, yeah, go ahead, Roku J3. So let's jump into another scenario,
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similar to what we're talking about.
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Same house, different worlds. Let's talk about it, Dobby.
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Okay, a husband and wife is every evening together, every evening.
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And that's what they should do. He watches TV.
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She scrolls social media. Some couples do this every single day.
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Hours pass without meaningful conversation. What do you guys think is going
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to happen to that relationship eventually?
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They're going to start drifting apart.
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Now, the thing is, they're physically together.
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They're literally in the same room right next to each other,
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but they're totally emotionally apart from each other.
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Neither of them feels understood, appreciated, or even connected.
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Okay, now, so this is happening in some people's houses right now,
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guys. I promise you, it is happening.
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Okay, and so Juicy305 says, quality time matters than being in the same room.
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Okay. All right. And Kendrick said quality times. No, Kendrick says what lesson.
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No, no. So what we want to get to is what lesson, guys. I do see you, Kendrick.
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But what lesson can couples learn from this scenario? What can you learn from that?
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You know, one thing I can say, presence without engagement.b is not a connection.
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What they should be able to learn is put the the the cell phone down and stop
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the scrolling and you guys watch a movie together you guys spend some quality
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time together not what you're doing one thing and the other person is doing something
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separate you need to do something together yeah that's what's gonna happen go
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get drunk and paint pictures yeah you can't,
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okay.
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Okay, now let's look at the impact of remote living, you know.
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Let's talk about how society itself has changed, and it has over the years.
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All right, guys. Thank you guys for the gifts. We appreciate the hearts as well.
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Thank you. We appreciate it.
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You know, many people work remotely, you know, because of the times a lot of
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people are working at home or in a co-working office space.
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You know, most people now are shopping online rather than going in the stores,
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or shopping through, you know, the Amazons and T-Moo and so forth like that.
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You know, they're streaming, they're entertainment at home. They'd rather do
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that instead of go out to the movies to enjoy their entertainment.
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They order food on delivery. They don't even go and pick up their food anymore,
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go sit down and enjoy their meal, their DoorDash and Uber Eats,
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you know, Grubhub or whatever the case may be to get their food.
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So the convenience has increased, but the human interaction has decreased.
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Yeah. And that's because everybody wants things so fast and in a hurry.
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And then everything is so convenient right now. So this is a fascinating trade-off.
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We're saving time, yet we're losing opportunities for connection.
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So that's a trade-off. And that to me is, you know, I wish families would get
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back to spending that quality time together. Maybe, you know,
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don't DoorDash every other day. Just go out and have a meal, a decent meal together.
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Let's sit down and talk. That is so true, Dot B.
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Casual interaction with your neighbors, coworkers, or community members,
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it used to happen naturally. I mean, it was just what you did.
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But today, they often don't happen at all. I mean, literally,
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I know so many people nowadays can move into a neighborhood and been there for
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a couple of years and never even spoke to their neighbors next door to them.
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Yeah. But yeah, they can spend hours talking to people across seas or in another state.
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Yeah, and feel like that person is their best friend and haven't even met them
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before. And your neighbor is right there next door to you.
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That's what happens. Hey, Miss St. James, welcome back. Welcome.
22:43
Okay, so guys, human beings are designed for community. That's what we're meant
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to do, to converse, to be a part of a community.
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Isolation may be convenient at times, but it isn't always healthy. It's not.
22:59
All right. Big shout out to our replay viewers. We appreciate you guys and our podcast listeners.
23:05
You know, thank you so much, whether you're joining us on Apple Podcasts,
23:08
iHeartRadio, Pandora, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcast listening enjoyment.
23:14
We appreciate you guys so much for downloading, liking, and favoring our podcast.
23:21
Thank you so much. We appreciate that.
23:22
Yeah, and keep those likes, those shares, and subscribes coming.
23:27
We appreciate those gifts, and we appreciate the hearts. And those of you who
23:31
are just not joining in, go ahead and drop your city and state and let us know
23:34
where you're chiming in from.
23:36
All right, guys, so we done talked about the disconnect.
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So the question now is, how do we fix it?
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So, Dr. B, let's get into how we can try to fix this issue with the big disconnect.
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No, we're going to have to talk about this, Project 3. How do you think we're
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going to fix this? We're going to fight this loneliness that people are experiencing?
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I think, first of all, we first of all have to acknowledge that it's happening.
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Because if you don't acknowledge that it's happening, it's going to get worse.
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Many people suffer in silence because they think loneliness is something to
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be embarrassed about. And it really isn't.
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No, it's not. It's not because just think about it happens to the best of us.
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And then secondly, we need to we need those intentional relationships that we talked about earlier.
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You know, call people, call your friends, stop texting them,
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pick up the phone and call them, make time to call them, visit people.
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You know, it's a couple of friends of mine that we'll do a wellness checks on each other.
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And we'll do that by calling each other just to say, hey, I was thinking about
24:44
you, just making sure you're doing OK.
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You can do that. Start back visiting people. You probably used to do that a
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long time ago before social media just took over.
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And also invite people out. I do it all the time. I love going out to eat lunch with people.
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So invite people out to join you for lunch or dinner or for drinks.
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All right. So the next thing to do, third, is put down the phone occasionally.
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Yeah. You know, real conversations create
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deeper connections than digital interactions. Let me say that again.
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Real conversations create deeper connections than the digital interactions.
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Okay, guys. And then the fourth thing I need you to do is join communities.
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There are different communities. There's different clubs that you can join.
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You can join different organizations. You can volunteer. You can attend events.
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Participate in activities that bring people together. Get out of the house.
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And this is something that we need to think about as well, because I know I have grandchildren.
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All they like to do is to stay on their cell phones. So you've got to get the
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children and grandchildren, whatever their ages are, out of the house and off
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of their cell phones, because guess what? They're losing their social skills.
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If they stay attached to that cell phone, they're not going to know how to have
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a conversation with a person.
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They need to get outside those four walls and start communicating.
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And finally, be the friend that you're looking for.
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You know, sometimes the connection we seek begins with us reaching out first.
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Yeah. Okay. Shout out, Tanya. Tanya, we got Jerome Graves in the house and senior man.
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Hey, Dick Shark. Welcome back. Okay, guys. So now, detects that changes everything.
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Imagine someone you've been thinking about for months suddenly sends you a simple
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message. They just reach out to you and say, hey, I was thinking about you. How are you doing?
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You know, that one message right there, it sparks a conversation, Dot B.
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The conversation, it leads into reconnection. The reconnection reminds both
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people that they are not alone.
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Okay, guys, we've got some comments coming. A simple text saves mean different.
27:11
A person said, this was Alexandra, said, a simple text saved me during a difficult
27:18
season. So that's a positive.
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That's a simple text. But let's see if you've been actually able to connect
27:24
with that person after that text.
27:27
Okay. Making me happy. 69 says sometimes people are waiting for someone else
27:36
to make the first move. And I agree.
27:39
Yeah, that is true. Yeah, that is true. So why don't you be that person to make
27:45
that first move, to reach out to someone?
27:48
And like I say, the first person said that they just got a text from someone
27:52
that they hadn't heard from in a while.
27:54
And that's always good. You know, I reach out to some of my friends I hadn't
27:58
seen in a while via text. Some of them respond, some of them don't.
28:01
But if they don't, I can always say that I tried. I tried to reach out to them.
28:05
So that's a good thing. Okay.
28:07
So guys, it is amazing what can happen from one genuine act of kindness.
28:14
It's amazing. And you can give that gift of kindness.
28:18
Sometimes changing someone's day can start with just a single message, guys.
28:24
Yes, it can. Okay, last time. Not a post.
28:28
Not a post. Not a message to their actual phone.
28:32
Yes, yes. Okay, guys. So go ahead and get those final comments.
28:37
We got Tracy Louie in the house.
28:40
Hey, Bear. Welcome back. Hey, Bill. Okay, guys.
28:44
So loneliness is one of the most common experiences in today's world.
28:49
There's a lot of people out there that are lonely. Even though they're on social
28:54
media and they get all the likes, they get all the hearts and stuff,
28:58
they're still lonely because they really don't have anybody that they can actually
29:01
connect with on a personal level, okay?
29:04
Yet it remains, you know, loneliness remains one of the topics that's least discussed.
29:10
So we often assume everyone is thriving while quietly carrying our own feelings
29:17
of isolation, you know, because you see some people online
29:21
flexing, having a good time, but you're suffering because you're lonely.
29:25
The truth is that many people are longing for a meaningful connection.
29:31
Relationships, they do require effort. They require you to be vulnerable at
29:35
times and for you to be intentional.
29:38
This connection or this conversation that we're having has reminded you of someone
29:45
that you care about, okay? Don't wait. I want you to reach out to them. I want you to call them.
29:51
I want you to visit them and let them know that they matter to you.
29:55
That's your takeaway. That's my takeaway from this discussion.
29:59
All right. Well, here's Mind.B. You know, tonight's discussion,
30:02
it reminds us of being connected and feeling connected, but it's not the same thing.
30:11
You know, technology is a wonderful tool, guys, but it cannot replace genuine human relationships.
30:19
We all need people who know us, support us, and even challenge us and stand
30:26
with us during in difficult times.
30:28
If you're feeling lonely, understand that you're not alone.
30:32
That's right. And if you're blessed with strong relationships, guys, nurture them.
30:38
Yeah. Because at the end of the day, success, money, and popularity,
30:44
they mean very little without the meaningful connections to share them with.
30:50
Yeah, that is so true, Broker J3. Okay, guys. So I want to personally,
30:56
And we both, let me just speak for both of us, BrokerJ3 is available on one
31:00
of our platforms via audio.
31:03
But we want to personally thank each of you for joining us this evening.
31:08
Thank you for being a part of the J&B family from the bottom of my heart.
31:13
Okay. You know, guys, be sure you follow us. And before you leave,
31:18
if you're not already on the YouTube platform, slide over to YouTube real quick
31:22
at Live with J&B and make sure you guys subscribe.
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We're on our goal to get 20,000 subscribers. So please make sure you guys slide
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31:33
Make sure you continue to like and share, even if you're watching restream.
31:38
And you're not watching us live, you still can like, share, and comment and
31:44
talk about tonight's discussion.
31:46
Yes, you can. So thank you again. Thank you, Force Doctrine,
31:50
for your comments. Thank all of you for your comments. We thank all of you for your gifts.
31:55
We would not be here if it was not for you. This is the reason why we bring
32:00
you this podcast because we do it for our listeners, okay? We're all about educating people.
32:07
We are about empowering people because when you know better, you do better.
32:11
Okay? So make sure you subscribe like BrokerJay3 just said.
32:17
And, again, we appreciate every viewer. We appreciate every listener,
32:21
supporter, and subscriber. Thank you.
32:25
All right, guys. Until next time, you know, I'm your favorite uncle,
32:31
you know, your bro, you know, that guy, BrokerJay3.
32:35
Okay, guys. So join us again, and I am your favorite auntie.
32:39
You know, everybody got their favorite auntie.
32:41
I am your girl, Dr. B. Thank you.
32:45
All right, guys. And always, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.
32:49
Thank you. All right, guys. Love you.