Latest / The Hypnotist / Guest Hypnotist Amber Abila - How To Be A Confident Eater

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Guest Hypnotist Amber Abila - How To Be A Confident Eater · The Hypnotist

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to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
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issues. Brought to you by the
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hypnotherapist, Demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even
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royalty. Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Evansville in London's
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world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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enjoy today's episode of the. Hypnotist.
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Hi, it's Adam here and welcome to the hypnotist.
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And today's guest hypnotist is Amber, Abila and Amber, welcome
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to the show. Thanks for having me on today
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Adam, I'm so excited to chat. Yeah, Amber, you have a
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successful podcast of your own. Tell us a bit about your podcast
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and how you found yourself in that particular niche.
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Yes, so I am a binge eating coach and I help people rewire
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their brain on around food so they can feel normal and control
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around anything they want. And I started my podcast Become
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a Confident Eater because I always love to listen to
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podcasts in my journey. It's so helpful to have someone
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in your ear giving you those tips throughout the week to
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really just give you these new perspectives.
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So my podcast episodes are usually pretty like short, sweet
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to the point of a topic of that day.
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Something around binge eating in general or struggling with
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thinking about food all the day, food noise, your body image, all
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the stuff around that. And I just find it so helpful to
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have those little tidbits each Thursday.
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Yeah, perfect. So tell us a bit about your
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background, because I've worked with a lot of hypnotherapists
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and the niche they end up working in at some level links
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into their own experience. Was that the case with you?
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Absolutely. So I struggled with food myself
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for a lot of years. It started back in 2015.
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I started with calorie counting. I thought I want to lose like
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1020 lbs. Like might as well do some
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calorie counting 'cause that's what the Internet suggested to
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me. And I was on a pretty low
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calorie mount. I was eating 1200 calories a day
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and I stuck with it for a while. But over time I couldn't keep
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fighting these urges and the strong hunger that I had to eat
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more food. So the first time I ever binged
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I remember it so clearly. It was on 7 cookies.
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It was around Christmas time and I promised myself I was going to
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have wine and then I ate it and I was overfilled with this
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overwhelming urge for more of them.
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And so I had another and I had another and another until I had
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7 cookies and I was so terrified I promised myself it was never
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going to happen again. This was a one time thing.
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But then it slowly started happening more and more where it
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was every week and then every day and then multiple times a
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day to the point where I knew that something had to change,
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that it wasn't getting better on my own.
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So that's when I saw out therapy, which is usually the
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first place people go to if they are struggling with more of
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these extreme eating habits. They're wanting to take this
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mindset or psychological approach to it.
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But for me personally, I found therapy did not help me a ton
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with the binge eating. It did help me understand the
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role of restriction and how I was under eating.
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And because of that, my brain was sending out these strong
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signals to eat, which are very hard to fight.
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Because if you think about it, if you were to go all day
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without water and you're trying to like fight your way through
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not having water, it's going to be a lot harder than when you're
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hydrated to tell yourself not to have water.
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So it's the same thing with food.
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So it helped me to eat more calories.
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I was like, OK, I won't restrict anymore, but I was still binge
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eating. And I was really confused
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because I couldn't connect it. There wasn't like a huge trauma
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that happened at that time or in my past that I could figure out,
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Oh, This is why I started binge eating.
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And I came across this blog post that described binge eating as
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just a habit, that all of our eating habits are just that
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they're just habits. And that really gave me a big
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insight and a ha of no, there's not something wrong with me or
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something broken in my brain. It's just overtime.
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I have started binge eating every single day for like the
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past year. And so now when I try to not
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binge, my brain freaks out because it thinks, oh, we're
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getting rid of something that's important, a survival habit, and
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it creates a lot of resistance to it.
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So when I started to view it as a habit, it one really
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simplified my recovery journey. It didn't make it this like big
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thing where I felt like in therapy, I kind of had to have
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like all my ducks in a row and every single area of life in
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order to overcome this big problem.
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So it like shrunk the problem down for me, which made it
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easier to tackle. And it also made it very
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approachable, where I started to recognize that just because I
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have thoughts around food didn't mean they were true, that my
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brain could just be going on a loop.
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And I could see that, oh, my brain is telling me right now I
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need a lot of food. But that's not actually the
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reality. The reality is, I've eaten three
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meals today and a snack and I'm not hungry, but my brain just is
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assuming that I need to eat because that's the habit I've
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conditioned it in to have. And I think there is a strange
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paradox where sometimes the opposite to the intention tends
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to happen, sometimes links to the idea of scarcity.
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And, and, and I've worked with a lot of people that have gone on
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some kind of diet, some kind of regime, and their internal
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dialogue is very kind of restrictive and scarce.
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It's like I'm not allowed this, I can't have this, I mustn't do
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this. And then at some level there is
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that polarity response in all of us that wants to do the thing
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we're not meant to do. And it becomes almost like the
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forbidden fruit. It's that one thing we're not
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meant to do is seems to feel more appealing than ever before.
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And, and I whenever, sometimes I do like 2-3 four day fasts.
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And I found it really, really important whenever I'm fasting
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to remind myself that of course I can eat, I'm surrounded by
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food, I can eat whatever I want. I'm just choosing not to.
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So I don't get into that scarcity mentality.
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And the metaphor that I use when I'm working with people to help
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them fast is to say, look, if you were locked in a prison cell
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and you didn't know where your next meal came, came was coming
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from, and then suddenly there's a lot of food and you don't know
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where the next meal is coming from.
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You'd eat it all really, really quickly because it's a scarce
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resource. But if you knew for a fact that
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you could eat whenever you want and there's an abundance of
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food, but you're just choosing not to, you would have no
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scarcity, no anxiety whatsoever. When you were calorie counting,
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did it feel like with those kind of initial cookies that you're
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doing something you weren't, you weren't meant to do that it was
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somehow wrong or bad or or naughty or something like that?
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Absolutely. And you're, you totally nailed
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it with the scarcity mindset where a lot of times dieting can
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artificially put us in the scarcity mindset where we feel
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like we're not allowed all of this food that we want when we
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are, but it feels like someone's telling us what to do and we
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just have to follow the rules. It's very like authoritative
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versus making empowering choice of I'm choosing to do this fast
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because XY and Z reason that feels really good in empowering
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to me. So yes, I think that can be one
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of the biggest problems with calorie counting too is
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ultimately calorie counting is just a tool.
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It's not a good or bad thing. It's something that can be
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useful at times, but if we start putting the calorie count as
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like the ultimate rule and our body has no say in it, you know,
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oh, I feel extra hungry today. Well, too bad.
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The calorie counter says I'm done for the day or, you know,
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I'm not hungry, but oh, who cares if the calorie counter
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says I can have an extra 200 calories, let's fit that in.
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You know, we're totally disregarding our body then.
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And that's where it can get problematic.
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And so a lot of times it can feel like, oh, I have this limit
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still, you know, even if it's a high limit, even if it's like,
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you know, let's say 2500 calories is your maintenance.
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And that feels like a lot sometimes your brains can still
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perceive that, but this is still a limit for me, even if it will
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fill you and not make you hungry, and you'll feel
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satisfied. So it's important, like you
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said, to recognize that one, Like if you're doing this, you
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want to make sure that you want to do this, that this feels like
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a choice, not something that you're being told you have to
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do. Because that's when we want to
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rebel against it. But also reminding yourself that
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food is coming again later, that we live in a world where there
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are grocery stores on every single corner and gas stations
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that have food in it. And you know, fast food
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restaurants, like not that we're going to go eat up those all the
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time, but to show our brain that food is there.
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And then I mean, look at the average person's cabinet and
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freezer and 2nd freezer here in the US, maybe third freezer
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somewhere. You know, it is just an absolute
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whole bunch of abundance of food in our life.
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But we don't quite recognize it because our mindset is telling
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us that that food is off limits and we can't have it.
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So that's where that we start to feel restricted around it.
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Yeah, it's, it's, it's the value judgment of not being allowed
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it. It's not permitted.
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And then suddenly it becomes more desirable.
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And there's a lovely phrase that I always think about when I'm
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working with people that they want to lose weight, but
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sometimes they might get too rigid with that.
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And, and the phrase is too much control is out of control.
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And, and I, and I think there's an element that sometimes people
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become a slave to, whether it's calorie counting or these kind
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of fad diets, to the extent that it feels very kind of
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restrictive and, and, and kind of rigid and that almost
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everyone wants to break out of rigidity and, and kind of have
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that kind of freedom. And I've worked with
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bodybuilders and their goal is to get, you know, for male
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bodybuilders, quite often under 5% body fat.
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And, and I'm always fascinated because logically it doesn't
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make sense for them to have cheat meals, doesn't make sense
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for them to have cheat days, but they do because they know that
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if they deprive themself of anything like that, then
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actually they're going to break and then they're going to have
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some kind of a binge and they're going to mess up their thing.
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So even though they are very, very focused and disciplined on,
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on having lots of lean protein and having that calorie deficit,
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you know, they'll always give themselves a bit of flexibility
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within that because otherwise too much control is out, out of
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control. What was the escape route for
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you when when you know, obviously seeing it as a habit
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was one of those things. Was there anything else that you
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wish you could kind of go back in time and tell yourself
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earlier to give you a different framework as to how you thought
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about food? Yeah.
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So a few different things, you know, kind of how my journey
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progressed from there is I had this big insight and that did
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really help with this understanding of these urges and
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these cravings around food. But it took a while to actually
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heal my relationship with food as a whole and to be what I call
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a normal natural eater. These people who can just eat
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when they're hungry, stop when they're full and move on.
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You know, have a piece of cake at a birthday party and just
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forget about it or leave a couple bites behind and throw it
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away. And a lot of that came for,
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like, my own research on, you know, how these intuitive eaters
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eat and what that process looks like for them.
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But I also worked with a weight loss coach for over a year, and
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I later started working with her as a coach under her.
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So I did her program and then she hired me as a coach and
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trained me. And that's really why I got into
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the whole coaching industry, which is so huge for me.
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And I take this approach of more on the cognitive behavioral
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therapy side of things where we're looking at how our
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thoughts aren't true, seeing how our brain is making a mistake in
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that moment and getting the separation from it, which I
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found was so powerful that how I started getting in more of the
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hypnosis world was I had this one client who she had had her
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sister passed away a couple months before we started working
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together. And we were doing all this like
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logical thought work together and she was making a lot of
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progress around food. But it just felt like we kept
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getting stuck somewhere. And there was like these deeper
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emotional components and these deeper things happening in her
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brain. And she was in therapy too at
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the time, but I felt like I couldn't quite get to the depth
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that we needed to to in order for her to feel like I can let
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go of these habits. She was kind of almost punishing
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herself with food because she felt a lot of guilt around her
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sister's death. And that's where I went to
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think, OK, you know, how else can I take these tools deeper?
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And I'm so grateful that I got to work from her because she
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really forced me to go explore out other methods.
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And that's when I came across hypnosis and visualization and
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more somatic work of getting into our body.
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And that really transformed my coaching practice where I really
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feel like I found the solution of both sides, where it is
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really fun to look at the logical side of things and how
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we can change our mindset around food, which, you know, hypnosis
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does too. But sometimes going to these
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deeper layers of working with our unconscious mind, which is
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how 95% of our habits and thoughts are going on in the
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background and how we're living our world.
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If we're not addressing that, we're missing out on a major
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piece of the puzzle. And I find especially in the
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eating space and the intuitive eating world where I'm coming
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from, there's not, I, I, I haven't seen so many people do
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hypnosis. There's a lot of weight loss,
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hypnosis. But I haven't.
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Found people like focusing so much on, you know, binge eating
13:05
and healing your relationship with food itself.
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So I was really happy to be able to integrate that in my practice
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and start to see greater results with people and how their habits
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took longer. And, and I think, you know,
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you're right because it overlaps way more than people would would
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think, because at some level this was a positive intention
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behind this kind of behavior. And it might be pleasure or it
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might be freedom, or it might be just kind of breaking the chains
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of something that feels really confining and kind of rigid.
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But, you know, binging isn't the best tool to kind of meet that
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particular underlying needs. But it can feel, I've worked
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with a few clients with eating disorders and for some it's a
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form of escapism. Like while they're in a binge,
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nothing else matters. It's almost like an escape from
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from everything. But there is also this kind of
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law of familiarity that if you've done something enough,
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even if it's not necessarily the most healthy thing to do, there
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is something pretty familiar and comforting in the familiarity.
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And I remember working with a former ballerina who, you know,
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there was a time that you know, there was consequences if you
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weren't a certain weight or a certain kind of shape.
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She was an adult at the point I'm working with her.
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And she had this really tenacious in a dialogue, but it
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was always stated in the third person.
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It would kind of like almost like whisper in her ear.
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It'd be like, you've got time, no one else is around, like now
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is the perfect time. And it was almost like this
14:35
insidious kind of voice, but it was disassociated, which meant
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it wasn't in control. It was just trying to influence.
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And I found a really great metaphor for her comes actually
14:46
from the vampire genre of movies, that for a vampire to
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enter a house, it has to be given permission.
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If it's not invited in, it can't, it can't get in, it can't
14:57
cause any damage. And it was this whole idea that
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that in a dialogue that was trying to kind of influence was
15:04
seeking permission to do it. But if it was never given
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permission, it would kind of not be able to kind of go any
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further. And that was quite empowering
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because there was this feeling of inevitability that if that
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voice started, the only way they can make that voice go away was
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to kind of have the binge. Doing what you do and and
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coaching with clients, have you found any kind of surprising
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things that the average person just wouldn't expect?
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Goes in the mind of someone that binges or has an eating disorder
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or is is sometimes obsessive with food?
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I think So. What you mentioned there of it
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feels like we, we need to act on it.
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Once it happens, it's definitely something I experienced where
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it's almost like your brain decides.
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The second the thought goes through your brain, it's like
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it's over and that's something that will happen is like the
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second your brain suggests the idea of a binge, it's like, I'm
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just gonna do it. It's just gonna happen because
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it's familiar because you're so used to the second that thought
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comes in, it does happen. So a big thing I work on showing
16:06
people is that when you're having this thought, it truly is
16:10
just a thought. Like it's just, it can live in
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your brain. One of my favorite kind of like
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practical exercises for this is just sitting on your hands and
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trying to think like no matter what thoughts you have in this
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moment, no matter what your brain suggests you want to do,
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you're not going to do anything with your hands unless you were
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to like lift up your hands and say go do something.
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And I think that's a really good example to show people one
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because you know, you have the added side effect of like if
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you're at a meal or something and you don't want to eat, you
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can sit on your hands to kind of be like to create that physical
16:41
barrier. But also, it's like your
16:43
physical reminder of my thoughts are just thoughts unless I
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choose to say, OK, that my higher brain, my logical brain
16:50
is the one that's in charge and that has all the power.
16:53
So even if my brain says, oh, time to binge and like, Yep,
16:55
it's time to binge, it's not going to happen until we say,
16:58
yes, it is time. So we can use that as our like
17:00
tactical reminder of I'm in charge.
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I get to decide here, but also knowing that those thoughts
17:06
can't hurt you. It's also important to see that
17:08
like when we're feeling this discomfort, it is uncomfortable
17:11
the first time we get through an urge to binge.
17:14
And I say that, you know, there's two ways to get rid of
17:16
an urge to binge. 1 is to eat. It does go away when you eat.
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Used. Feeling that desire, and that's
17:22
what can be nice about it as you get rid of that discomfort in
17:24
that moment to to of that wanting to eat.
17:27
But the problem with that is that that guarantees that the
17:30
urge will definitely come back again for sure, because you have
17:34
now just told your brain, this is something I want to do by
17:36
giving it the reward that it was asking for.
17:38
It's like a child throwing a tantrum.
17:40
Or it's like, I want the thing, I want the thing.
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And you're like, OK, here you go.
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Here's the thing. They're going to throw another
17:44
tantrum the next time they want something.
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And that's what your brain is doing and what you're rewarding
17:47
it for. So then the second option when
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we get an urge to binge is we can sit with it.
17:53
Now sitting with it does create some temporary discomfort
17:56
because we are literally trying to change our brain pathway in
17:58
that moment. And so it is going to give like
18:00
a little bit of a push back of, hey, Are you sure you want to do
18:03
this? Don't you want to eat instead?
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But if we can get through that temporary discomfort, which if
18:09
we are doing it right, only has to last like 60 to 90 seconds,
18:13
you know, of like truly feeling into our body what that's like.
18:16
Then when we get through it, it helps to not get that reward of
18:21
the binge, which means our brain is going to decondition that
18:24
brain pathway and make it less likely that we're going to binge
18:26
tomorrow. So we're making it so much
18:28
easier for our tomorrow self and or the day after that and the
18:30
day after that. But then what's really important
18:33
too is that we give our brain the new reward and the new
18:35
reward is celebration. Because celebration in our brain
18:38
is like neural super glue. It will ingrain in the habits
18:42
that we want it to have. So if this is a big mistake that
18:45
I see people making, which is they get through like an urge to
18:47
eat and they're like, thank God I made it through and they just
18:50
like go about their day. They don't do anything to
18:52
positively reinforce it. They're just like wanting to
18:55
move on and past it, which I understand because it's like,
18:58
you know, sometimes it is a little uncomfortable.
18:59
We don't want to sit with it anymore.
19:01
But really taking that moment to say I did it, I'm so proud of
19:05
you. That was so much fun because now
19:07
I get to feel really good in my body the rest of the day.
19:09
Now I don't have all this extra food weighing me down.
19:12
Now I have started to change my brain and I'm literally rewiring
19:15
my brain pathway in this moment. And when we get really excited
19:18
about that, our brain starts to pay attention and says, oh,
19:20
what's going on? Something exciting is happening.
19:22
And it says, yes, because I didn't eat that food that I
19:24
didn't want to eat. And so it makes it more likely
19:26
that you'll repeat that good habit moving forward then?
19:31
Yeah, it is it you. I use a metaphor sometimes that
19:35
these cravings or these compulsions are like
19:37
cockroaches. Like if you feed them, they
19:39
might go away, but they're going to come back even more
19:41
insistent. You know, don't stop feeding the
19:43
cockroaches. It was reminding me actually of
19:47
my very first binge related client.
19:49
This is almost like 10 years ago.
19:52
But she had this thing where she wouldn't realize that she was
19:55
doing a binge until after the binge.
19:56
Like it really was that high level of disassociation.
20:00
And and she had a really sad story because when she was in
20:03
school, she would be like really bullied mercilessly.
20:08
It's like horribly. And her trigger was if she was
20:12
really anxious or sad. Then it would be ice cream 1st
20:16
and if there's no ice cream, it'd be chocolate and she would
20:18
eat it until there's none, none left.
20:21
But quite often, like she would be surprised because she'd look
20:23
down and and stare at like an empty carton of ice cream and
20:27
like, what have I done? Like she, she wouldn't have been
20:29
able to sit on her hands because it would already happen at that
20:31
particular point. And what was interesting is I
20:36
and I, I never did regression too much with binging before
20:38
that point, but I, I did with her.
20:40
And I said, look, I want you to, and this is really long
20:44
induction, but go back to a time where you were sad, you were
20:48
anxious, but to a time where you didn't use food as the coping
20:52
strategy and, and she couldn't find anything.
20:55
And then eventually she did. And there was this one time she
20:58
was being bullied at school. She comes back, you know,
21:00
parents tried to help. There was no chocolate ice cream
21:03
around. And then in that moment, she
21:06
could recall going into her room and she really liked, you know,
21:09
musicals. And there's that song Defying
21:12
Gravity from Wicked. So she listened to that and then
21:15
imagined herself on a stage singing that song.
21:18
And up until that point, she had no frame of reference that
21:21
anything other than food would work.
21:24
But in that she had evidence that something else also gave
21:28
her that feeling of feeling empowered and escaping her
21:32
reality and those kind of things.
21:34
And once she had that, we then that became the thin end of the
21:37
wedge. And she found that actually
21:39
mindfully walking around nature would also help make the anxiety
21:43
and that sadness go away. And once she had that, binging
21:47
was still on the list. It was like 6th or 7th on the
21:50
list rather than at #1 And it was about having that that kind
21:53
of an option. And I feel like a lot of people
21:56
that binge, it's not because they want to binge, it's because
22:00
the binging helps them in in some way.
22:03
And it's become so automatic that it almost feels like
22:06
there's another part of them taking over in control and, and
22:10
they're, they're left to tidy up the mess, which I mean, this,
22:13
this client didn't purge afterwards, but sometimes they
22:16
do. It's kind of like you've had to
22:17
binge and it's like, well, how do I, how do I offset the
22:20
consequence of, of this binge? When you're working with
22:24
clients, do you have like a standard approach all the time
22:28
or does it really change depending on the client and the
22:31
circumstances that you're working with you?
22:33
Know it's a lot of the techniques work similarly for a
22:37
lot of people because it's a lot of the same stuff over and over.
22:40
I'm sure the same for you. But sometimes, like you said,
22:43
there's like little teeny moments that we can find that
22:45
are different and individual to each person of like an aha of
22:49
oh, a time where I was able to, you know, feel that emotion and
22:52
not eat. Or I find it really helpful to
22:55
also show them like, you know, maybe a time that they they've
22:58
done that and it felt really good after they felt really
23:00
pleasurable after they didn't sit with that.
23:03
Or they. Did sit with the emotion and
23:05
they didn't eat because that shows their brain like, oh, it's
23:08
not I'm not getting deprived of anything if I don't eat the
23:11
food. Because that's one of the
23:12
biggest beliefs that I think I often see people getting stuck
23:15
in is that, well, binge eating is fun, it's pleasurable, it's
23:18
enjoyable. And this is oftentimes
23:21
reinforced by some of the addiction talks in like just
23:26
normal people world or I feel like a lot of times it's phrased
23:29
as like, oh, addiction is this like thing that you need in your
23:33
life to cope. And sometimes just some of the
23:35
wording around it makes it so we feel like I'm not going to be OK
23:39
without this. I'm not going to be happy
23:41
without it. It's so pleasurable, it's so
23:42
fun. It's bringing me so much in my
23:44
life that what will life be like without it?
23:46
So something I like to do for this.
23:48
And I actually have a guided audio to help someone stop a
23:51
binge in the moment that I'll have in the show notes for
23:53
people. And what I do in this is walk
23:55
people through visualization where they imagine taking the 2
23:59
paths and really playing that story forward.
24:02
Because a lot of times in that moment, all we're imagining is
24:05
how good the food will taste in our mouth.
24:07
And I call that telling yourself chapter one of the story.
24:09
It's like chapter 1. I eat the food, it tastes
24:11
amazing. The end.
24:13
But if that were the end, like we want to be here listening to
24:15
this podcast, we want to be here like searching out searching.
24:17
Because the truth is, is that there's also chapters 2 through
24:19
10 that come after that. We're not telling ourself in
24:22
that initial moment of desire. And if it's.
24:26
Someone's happening. If it's happening with someone
24:28
where they're like kind of dissociating like that, you
24:31
know, even just finding like 10 seconds of a pause is sometimes
24:34
helpful where we'll get into our minds.
24:37
It's like I'm either binging or I'm not binging.
24:38
And it's like, well, it's too feels too hard to not binge, so
24:41
I'm just going to do it. But waiting for five seconds
24:44
before you eat is more than just going into it.
24:47
And that's like creating space. And then maybe next time you can
24:49
wait 30 seconds, then maybe a minute.
24:51
And then maybe you use my audio or you do a recorded hypnosis
24:56
session or something to like start to increase that space
24:59
more. But anyway, so in this
25:01
visualization, I have people really like play the story
25:03
forward of let's imagine we do eat.
25:05
OK, It tastes good for those 20 seconds.
25:08
It's in the mouth. But then, and this is what we'll
25:10
go through a little bit later today in this episode, you know,
25:12
as it starts to break apart in your body, how does it feel?
25:15
And what do you notice as you're looking at the wrappers around
25:18
you, You're noticing that empty ice cream cart.
25:20
And how does that feel? What is it like when you try to
25:22
return back to work and try to fall asleep that night?
25:24
What is that like? And then you're creating that
25:27
picture of your brain of showing it.
25:28
Oh, I can see what the truth of the story is.
25:31
And then the flip side, like let's imagine path, the other
25:34
one that we take where we sit with this urge and feels a
25:37
little uncomfortable at first. We notice some sensations in our
25:40
body for a lot of people. Maybe it's I'm noticing some
25:43
tightness in my chest or a little bit of a fast energy, but
25:46
I sit with this fast energy and I take some deep breaths and I
25:48
get through it and I'm feeling really proud of myself, You
25:50
know, What is it like to go through that day of work?
25:52
Then what is it like as I try to fall asleep that night?
25:55
How is it when I wake up in the morning and do my workout?
25:57
And really showing that positive image to your brain too, instead
26:01
of just those first initial moments.
26:04
Yeah, it's, it's expanding and people with anxiety do that as
26:08
well. Like they'll, they'll hone in on
26:11
that kind of 10 second element of peak anxiety, but not when
26:15
they the relief they feel when they get through that anxiety.
26:18
It's, it's kind of cherry picking the bits that, you know,
26:21
either make them feel bad or make them feel good to justify
26:24
the, the behavior that they're they're doing.
26:26
So there is a lot of cognitive biases that, that, that take
26:29
place. And it isn't, you're right.
26:30
It's not the full story. It's, it's cherry picking parts
26:34
of the story. Since you've had your podcast,
26:38
what's the, the message you've received or the feedback that
26:42
you've received from a listener that kind of really kind of made
26:47
you feel that what you're doing is really impacting maybe people
26:50
you'll never meet? What what's the the thing that
26:53
you heard that really kind of hit home for you?
26:56
Yeah. So I had one person who had been
26:58
listening to my podcast for two weeks, and she, like, binged it
27:01
all. She listened to all the
27:01
episodes. And she said she started
27:04
implementing mindful eating through some of the things that
27:07
I talked about. And when she did that, she lost
27:09
2 1/2 lbs. And she had been like, stuck at
27:11
the same weight, gaining weight for so many years that she was
27:14
so surprised that just something as simple as sitting down with
27:17
food could help her eat less and be more present with it.
27:21
And so I am a really big advocate of mindful eating
27:24
because it helps bring our attention to what's actually
27:26
going on in our body. Whenever we're using a screen,
27:29
which is what I really count as the distractions, whether that's
27:32
our sitting at the desk still working, we're watching TV,
27:35
we're using our phone. You know, there's like lights,
27:38
there's sounds, there's colors, there might be some emotions
27:40
coming up because we're watching something in the movie or, you
27:43
know, it's all of these things going on in our brain.
27:45
And then we're also trying to do this very body based experience
27:48
of eating and it just doesn't really happen.
27:50
Then we're just so much in our head, in the experience of
27:53
what's happening, screens, it's hard to pay attention to our
27:55
body. So by being able to go into our
27:58
body, we're able to notice more of these things, of our hunger
28:00
and fullness of our thoughts, our emotions that might be
28:03
coming up during that and have more control over them.
28:06
But a big obstacle that often comes up for people is we are
28:10
not used to sitting even for like 1 minute without something
28:14
entertaining us. In today's modern world.
28:16
It is always like you're, you're waiting in line, you pull out
28:19
your phone, you check your e-mail like I'm at a stoplight.
28:21
If you look around at a stoplight nowadays, notice how
28:24
many people like check their phone.
28:25
It is really amazing. I was doing this the other day.
28:27
I was like wow, like no one is paying attention.
28:29
Everyone's having to honk nowadays to get people to go
28:32
ahead because we just, we have such a hard time sitting with
28:34
nothing. And so a lot of times when
28:37
people are sitting with food, it can be a new experience for them
28:40
of it feels uncomfortable at first.
28:42
But they might go to grow to really like it as I have because
28:46
it's the only time in my day really where I feel like I have
28:49
an excuse to like fully turn off everything and just be present
28:53
with what's going on in my body. So I've grown to really love it
28:56
and find it a really beautiful part of my day.
28:58
And I think of it as like my brain cleaning time of like
29:01
where I get to sweep out all of the junk that I've been
29:03
consuming all day or anything that I don't need fresh it up
29:06
for the whatever's coming. And like using that time to
29:09
really just let my brain rest while I go into my body and eat.
29:14
One, one of the, and, and I think it's really important
29:17
thing. One, the irony of, you know, she
29:19
was binging on your podcast rather than binging on food.
29:21
I think is is hilarious. But, but that element of mindful
29:25
eating, because there is this kind of weird thing sometimes
29:29
that people are paying the price of the calories, but not even
29:32
enjoying. It's like buying a theater
29:33
ticket, you know, for an amazing show and then just watching your
29:37
phone all the way through that, that show, It's like you're not
29:40
really getting the pleasure. And, and there is that
29:42
possibility that by being mindfully eating, they can
29:45
actually eat less and get more pleasure from their food because
29:49
they're actually using all of their senses to experience the
29:52
food that they're eating. And I think it's a really, you
29:54
know, powerful distinction in, in, in terms of the way in which
30:00
you feel the future is going with, let's say, eating.
30:04
Like there is more processed food coming up all the time.
30:07
You know, we're now living in a time where, you know, 10 years
30:10
ago it was bariatric surgery, gastric bands.
30:13
Now it's things like, you know, the GOP ones, the Ozempics and
30:17
those kind of things. Do you think that that element
30:21
of how people think about food is being taken less seriously
30:26
because they're like, oh, I can just have surgery, you know, I
30:29
can just take a Zen pic or, or something like that.
30:31
Do you think, do you think we're less engaged in the food and and
30:36
it is seen as OK, I'll eat whatever I want because I can
30:39
just have a quick fix later. Yeah, that's a really
30:43
interesting question. And I think, you know, As for as
30:47
many mental health professionals are out there, very few actually
30:50
know how to help people with eating problems.
30:52
And you know, my story of not getting help through therapy is
30:55
not the only one. A lot of my clients come to me
30:58
from therapy, I'm guessing yours as well, where we have a lot of
31:03
outdated methods and outdated beliefs around how to solve
31:06
these eating issues. And a really fun fact is that
31:09
binge eating was not actually even recognized as an eating
31:12
disorder until 2013. So that was only about 12 years
31:15
ago. You know, you think about like
31:17
how many research is coming out every day.
31:19
And like if a therapist was trained before 12 years ago,
31:21
they didn't even recognize that been eating was a recognized
31:24
eating disorder. And it was just kind of
31:25
something like, oh, you know, maybe we need more willpower,
31:27
more self-control or, you know, it just wasn't really thought
31:31
about much. And so I think that my hope is
31:34
that overtime, more people do get into hypnosis in this other
31:39
world of mental health work where there's other options of
31:42
seeing how we can change our brain.
31:45
And there's so much new research on hypnosis and visualization
31:48
and all the things that we're including that I just think so
31:51
many people don't know about. And it's easier and more
31:54
mainstream to do some of these quick fixes because who doesn't
31:57
want a quick fix? Like people wanted to lose
31:59
weight last year, 10 years before and they're still
32:01
struggling. So they want to stop it now.
32:03
But we have to consider, you know, where we want to be in 10
32:07
years from now and then ten years after that and 10 years
32:09
after that. And so I understand when people
32:12
are wanting to go on a GLP one or do bariatric surgery, you
32:15
know, the desperation behind it. There's, there's a lot there
32:18
where they just want to get it solved now.
32:19
And there might be a so many big health consequences that are
32:22
happening right now that they do just want to get out of it right
32:25
now. And sometimes that is the right
32:26
choice for people if they need that right in that moment.
32:29
But also taking a moment to step back and be like, what haven't I
32:32
tried yet? What else might be possible?
32:35
And sometimes, yeah, you're gonna, like, risk losing some
32:38
money or some time on some things that don't work.
32:40
But if you don't keep going and trying to find something else
32:42
and you're going to get continued to stay stuck in this
32:45
cycle of just quick fixes that don't last long term, which
32:48
waste so much more time, money and energy than we ever would
32:51
have if we sought out maybe other different holistic mental
32:54
health solutions. And, and I think that's why
32:58
podcasts are such a a powerful tool because it does two things.
33:01
It gives inspiration and knowledge, but also when you're
33:06
hearing stories of other people that have gone through a similar
33:09
kind of pathway and have come out the other side, you know,
33:12
it's not just inspiration, it's also reassurance.
33:15
OK, this game is now winnable. There is something I can I can
33:18
do. And there is a lot of people
33:20
going through things that lots of other people are also going
33:23
through, but they feel very much alone in that journey.
33:26
And, and what's great about podcast is that it's very
33:30
accessible. Wherever you are in the world,
33:31
you can kind of find this. I know you're going to do a a
33:35
guided experience for us, but before you do that, just remind
33:39
everyone about your podcast where they can, where they can
33:41
find your podcast. Yeah, so my podcast is called
33:44
Become a Confident Eater. You can find it anywhere you get
33:47
your podcast. And I'm also going to have Adam
33:49
on depending on when these episodes get released, you
33:51
should be able to find his episode on there as well, which
33:53
will be really. Fun.
33:55
Amazing. So tell us about the the
33:58
technique, the experience you're gonna share with us before you,
34:01
yeah, actually do them. Yeah.
34:04
So this is one that I really like.
34:06
If people have a hard time getting into their bodies, which
34:09
is honestly a lot of the clients I work with, again, we're very
34:12
like mind based in our day-to-day world.
34:14
We don't really have a lot of experiences going into our body.
34:18
So this one is going to. Help us reconnect into our body
34:21
on a deeper level and also see the impact of food.
34:24
So a lot of times when I ask people, you know, why do you
34:26
want to eat less sugar, for example, they're like, well,
34:29
it's not healthy and it doesn't feel good.
34:31
I guess that is very abstract to your brain.
34:34
That's just going to go right over your head.
34:36
It doesn't really give us any concrete ways of why we actually
34:39
want to change. So by going into our body and
34:42
really seeing, we're going to look at how the food breaks
34:45
apart a little bit more and just seeing what insights we can find
34:48
from that that can help again, reinforce this idea of binge
34:52
eating is not pleasurable and it causes me pain.
34:54
And eating foods that nourish me and fill me up and are actually
34:57
healthy for me. Those are the foods that make me
35:00
feel my best and are actually pleasurable in a very different
35:02
way. So we it just helps us to get
35:05
deeper into our body and what our unique wisdom already has to
35:08
tell us. We have so many signals like our
35:10
body wants to let us know and guide us what's good for us.
35:13
It's doing that every, every single day, telling us we're too
35:15
hot, we're too cold, we need water, we don't need water.
35:17
So it has all this wisdom inside of us, but a lot of times we
35:20
just are so zoned out of it or we've been flooded with so many
35:24
different diet rules that we are just paying attention to
35:26
everything else except our body. Amazing.
35:30
So you listen to this at home, you know, make yourself relaxed.
35:34
Amber's about to take you through this experience.
35:37
I'm going to put myself on mute so you get a nice clean signal
35:39
there Amber, and I'll be going along with this.
35:41
If you see my eyes closed, you'll you know I'm following
35:43
along. Perfect.
35:46
All right, so we're going to start closing our eyes.
35:49
Taking a big, deep breath in through your nose and out
35:56
slowly, twice as long in through your nose.
36:05
Sending your breath down your spine like it was an elevator to
36:11
the bottom of your base and exhaling out slowly, twice as
36:16
long as that breath comes back up that elevator and one more of
36:24
your biggest, deepest breaths today.
36:26
And through your nose, all the way down through the spine,
36:33
through your body and out slowly, letting it go twice as
36:39
long. And we're going to start by
36:45
focusing on our muscles and letting them relax.
36:48
Taking this time for you, starting at the base of the top
36:54
of your head, relaxing your eyebrows, your eyes, letting it
36:59
all soften, allowing your jaw to relax, your tongue to drop away,
37:12
moving down to your shoulders, your neck, letting your
37:18
shoulders rise and fall down deeper, releasing any tension so
37:28
that your shoulders and your neck can just relax.
37:34
Feeling your arms heavy at your sides as they relax down
37:41
alongside your body. Unclenching any fingers, letting
37:50
them be loose, dropping into your chest, letting your chest
37:58
expand and relax as you find a nice deep, slow, natural breath
38:05
for you. Letting your stomach soften, be
38:18
at ease, dropping into your hips, allowing your hips to
38:28
relax and soften as you feel supported in your chair, your
38:34
bed. Feeling your legs heavy,
38:44
softening any muscles, any tension and down to your feet so
38:57
you feel your feet on the floor or your ankles relaxed.
39:11
And I want you to now take a moment to imagine a food or a
39:16
meal that you know does not feel good to you, but you sometimes
39:23
still eat anyways. And as you imagine this food in
39:36
front of you, we're going to start by taking your first bite.
39:44
And as you put this food in your mouth, I want you to notice for
39:48
a second if there's anything about this food that you don't
39:53
enjoy, whether it's a part of the taste, a certain texture
40:03
about it, a certain flavor that you might have not noticed
40:10
before that might not be. Enjoyable.
40:23
And as you chew and swallow that food, imagining as it turns to
40:29
mush, as it goes down your throat, falling into your
40:37
stomach, and notice how does it feel in your stomach.
40:47
As your stomach tries to break apart, this food that you know
40:50
doesn't feel good to you. As your stomach adds in acids
41:03
and moves around to try to break it apart, what's that experience
41:07
like for your stomach? And as that food is breaking
41:22
apart, further goes into your small intestine where it can be
41:28
made into smaller particles that can go through your bloodstream.
41:36
Notice as these small particles get breaking apart and go
41:39
through your bloodstream how it feels in your body for that to
41:43
happen. Noticing how it might feel
41:55
initially right after you eat this food that you know does not
41:59
feel good to you and also as it continues to go on throughout
42:07
your day, continue to be processed through your body,
42:14
what impact it might have on your energy levels throughout
42:18
the day as this food is circulated throughout your body?
42:30
What is your focus like as you go through your day trying to
42:35
work or get the things done you want to get done?
42:39
How that food impacts your focus levels?
42:49
Noticing your mood as that food is going through your
42:53
bloodstream. Any negative impacts happen on
42:57
your mood and how you show up and feel throughout the day and
43:10
as you go to sleep at night. Noticing how that food impacts
43:14
your ability to fall asleep. Now I want you to imagine a
43:34
white energy washing all that away, clearing it out so we have
43:38
a fresh slate as we imagine a new experience where we imagine
43:49
eating a meal or a food that you know feels really good in your
43:53
body, that you love and that your body also loves you back
43:59
for. And as you imagine eating this
44:06
meal that you know feels really good in your body, I want you to
44:12
notice as you put it in your mouth and you're chewing it,
44:16
anything you really love about this flavor or texture of food.
44:34
And as it goes down your throat into your stomach, notice how it
44:41
feels to be your stomach trying to break apart these foods.
45:06
Now as the food continues breaking apart into smaller
45:09
particles going through your small intestine as it goes
45:14
through your bloodstream, noticing how it feels to have
45:18
the food that you know feels good in your body, that's full
45:22
of nutrition and life as it courses throughout your body,
45:27
how your body gets to feel. Observing any positive impacts
45:37
on your energy levels throughout the day, noticing what it's like
45:49
as you try to focus at work, as you're getting your To Do List
45:53
done, to have this food that feels good going throughout your
45:58
body. Seeing how your mood feels when
46:13
you have this nutritious food in the right amounts for you going
46:18
throughout your body and as you fall asleep at night.
46:31
Seeing how your experience might be different when you have food
46:37
that you know nourishes your body as you try to fall asleep.
46:49
Now, taking any insights you have gained from this
46:51
experience, imagining filing, filing them away in a place that
46:58
feels useful and accessible in your brain.
47:03
Knowing that as you go throughout your day today and
47:07
your week, at any time, you can access this wisdom from your
47:12
body on what would feel really good for you and the positive
47:21
impacts you want to create in your life.
47:31
And as you file this wisdom away and you feel ready to come out
47:35
of this space, taking as long as you need, you can slowly start
47:40
to bring some motion into your body, wiggling your toes and
47:43
your fingers, maybe bringing some butt.
47:47
Movement. Into your chest as you flutter
47:49
your eyes open, blinking some light back into your eyes,
48:04
allowing any motion that wants to come up happen.
48:11
Beautiful. That took me to a deep place
48:17
that was that was nice. I like that the food that I was
48:22
thinking of was changing each time as well.
48:24
It was kind of like, what were all these foods that I kind of
48:27
crave but not really aren't good for me.
48:29
But it is. It's sometimes you use someone
48:32
autopilot that you just think, oh, I like this food, but it
48:35
might be years and you don't even really like it.
48:37
You just you're just doing it. Yeah.
48:41
Thanks for that, Amber. You're going to have a download
48:46
for people to get in the show notes.
48:48
Tell us about what they can expect from that.
48:50
Yeah. So one thing I'll say that you
48:52
mentioned about, you know, the reason I include seeing what you
48:56
don't like about that food. That has been a really powerful
48:59
experience for me where I've noticed that like, a Hershey's
49:03
bar tastes like plastic, that gummy candy tastes really
49:07
artificial. And I can almost, like, feel the
49:09
stomach ache happening if I eat a gummy bear.
49:12
And so sometimes we don't even pay attention to notice these
49:14
things because we're just such on autopilot.
49:17
And if you'll notice, a lot of these processed foods don't
49:20
actually taste as good as our imagined brained experience is
49:23
saying it does. And it's a really beautiful
49:26
things that I've had a lot of clients come back to me and say,
49:29
Oh my gosh, I don't like Oreos. It's crazy.
49:32
I thought I was obsessed with Oreos, but actually they taste
49:34
really dry and stale. And I'd much rather have, you
49:38
know, a really high quality piece of chocolate or I'd rather
49:41
have a fresh ripe Peach that is really juicy and really
49:44
nourishing and also tastes really delicious.
49:47
So something that's fun to pay attention to is just seeing, you
49:50
know, that first initial taste too, if there's anything that
49:52
you don't like about it. So as far as where they can find
49:55
me and the free download, I have my audio called the Free audio
50:00
to Stop a binge in its tracks. It's a 7 minute audio.
50:03
As I told you, it's helping you visualize the both the positive
50:07
effects of not of sitting with the urge and then the negative
50:10
effects of when we eat. So kind of a variation of this
50:12
exercise as well. And if you want to find more
50:15
about me, you can visit me at my website, theconfidenteater.org
50:18
and that's where you can find my podcast as well, the audio.
50:22
And my Instagram and Facebook account.
50:25
Amazing, Amber, thank you so much for joining me on the show
50:28
today and everyone listening. Amber has been your guest
50:31
hypnotist and definitely check out her podcast.
50:34
There's going to be a link in the show notes.
50:36
Listen, subscribe if you want to have any tips, advice and
50:39
experiences on becoming a more confident eater.
50:41
Thank you again, Amber. Thank you, Adam.
50:46
Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of The
50:49
Hypnotist, and if you've enjoyed today's episode, I would
50:54
encourage you, if you haven't already, to hit the subscribe
50:58
button or follow button to make sure that you're automatically
51:02
notified of any future episodes that I release.
51:07
Also, by doing that, it lets the algorithm know that you like
51:11
this show, and that will put it in front of even more people
51:15
that might not know that this show exists.
51:17
So that would be helpful for me. And if you like the stuff that I
51:21
do, take a moment just to have a look in the show notes or the
51:25
description because there's lots of free things that I have to
51:28
offer, including free hypnosis downloads without the intro or
51:32
the outro like I'm doing now. So thank you again for joining
51:36
me on today's episode, and I'll see you again soon for the next
51:40
one.