Latest / Aired Out / Vermont Fatherhood - Josh Miller

Transcript

Vermont Fatherhood - Josh Miller · Aired Out

• 0:43
  Speaker 1: The good news on the construction report this morning is
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: basically that it's kind of empty. There's really nothing there
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: to report because of the holiday. So, state roads anyway.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: But still, drive carefully.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Be easy.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Dependent on where you need to go. It is Monday.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It is $ 5 Monday night, of course. Every Monday, $ 5
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: over at the Paramount Twin Theater right here in the
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Granite City. Get out, see a movie. FGBtheaters.com for all
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: the showings and the listings and everything that's happening. Flying
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: the Wall Productions bringing you the Airedown Podcast here. First thing,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: on a Monday morning, I'll tell you, a guy that
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: is not taking... The holiday off is not only me,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: but this guy sitting right next to me, Josh Miller
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: from Mount Fatherhood. How are you, man?
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I'm good.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you're here, dude.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, glad to be here.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: How are things?
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Well, on a really unimportant point, my Vikings are 5-0.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: My fantasy team is going to be 5-0.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: And really, what else matters?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, exactly. Yep, that's it, man. You know, I
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: have nothing.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: A bunch of millionaires playing football together, and I'm totally invested.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: But, you know, I'm here. I had a good weekend.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: And on that note, and, yeah, thanks for having me.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: That's great, man. So you got a chance to sit
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: down and watch some ball.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: Yep, yep.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Man, I got to tell you, it was a wild
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: weekend for so many people. Runnin'. Go, go, go, here, there,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: no matter what. I mean, it's not just craft fairs
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: and autumn festivals and stuff. It was, I mean, for me,
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: it was the Donenberg fights on Saturday night. Lily and
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I went to that and had an amazing time at
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: the Doubletree in South Burlington. Just the Kingdom Come MMA
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: event was unbelievable. And just the craft fairs, I mean,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: it was just nonstop, nonstop.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: The weather was perfect on Saturday, a little better than yesterday. But, man,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: this is go time. This is when so many of
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: us are like, I should have done that during the summer.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: And now we're racing. You have a lot of stuff
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: going on at Vermont Fatherhood. But first, if you're just
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: joining us, Josh Miller, a dad of four, And the head,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: the executive director, the big cheese, whatever you want to
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: call him, he is the bus driver of Vermont Fatherhood,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: which is an organization right here in the Granite City
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: that we're so happy to have right here on North
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Main Street, literally next to Wabi Jewelers. You walk in,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: if you're a dad, really if anybody, go in and
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: check it out and experience what is Vermont Fatherhood. A big,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: broad question this morning.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Vermont Fatherhood is an organization, nonprofit organization, you know, here
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: to really help dads, help families. I mean, I think,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: you know, there's a lot of supports out there. Not enough,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: but a lot of supports for moms. And I think,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: you know, dads have felt that, you know, they could,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: you know, use some support too. And I'm trying to
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: find all the ways to support them and with groups
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: and individual stuff and, play groups and supervised visits.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: And we have a couple of new activities coming up.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Talk to me, talk to me.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Well, uh, we are going to be starting on the 23rd.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: We're going to start a, um, it's going to be
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: every other Friday. It's going to be a Darns and Dragons,
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: dads and kids group. So dads and kids are going to,
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: you mentioned that last month. And they're going to be
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: doing that. So, and then November 6th, we're going to
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: do every other Thursday is.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Going to be Lego night.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: So we're going to, Play Legos, Duplo blocks, magnet tiles,
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: build and build and build, and maybe have some snacks
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: together and hang out and have a good time. Wow.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Tuesdays are, what happens Tuesday nights at 5 o'clock? Every Tuesday.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Every Tuesday, amazing stuff happens.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: We have our drop-in dads group, and we have about
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: 10 guys show up and just talk about what's going
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: on and talk about what's been tough, what's been good.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: um and other guys just really i mean it's it's
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: a super supportive group um and you know guys always
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: feel super welcomed we do dinner and child care um
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: this week we have uh a retired family doc coming
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: to talk to us about health and and um answer
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: questions we might have about you know how do we
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: take care of ourselves and i'm super psyched about that
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: because we gotta take care of ourselves if we're gonna
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: you know take care of our kids a long haul
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: so we got to make sure we're at the top
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: of our game.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: And, and so I'm excited about that. Um, but yeah,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: it's a really, really great.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Time to, to just, you know, easy one to come
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: by and check it out and you come for one
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: and never come back. You come for one and keep
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: coming back. So pretty easy.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Um, and mornings at nine o'clock, you keep your doors
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: open for folks that want to just walk in. Yep. Yep.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: And you know, nine o'clock, I tend to be there
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: a little earlier than that.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: And, Stop by, got coffee always ready to go and
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: stop by and just, you know, say hi, check out
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: the space, see what's going on. And other times too,
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, if the door's open, you know, come
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: on up and check it out. If I'm there, I'll
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: chat with you and meet with you. If I'm busy,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: we'll exchange numbers and we'll make something happen.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Wow. Why did you start this?
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Well, the quick answer.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Is I've been working with families for a long time
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: and I think that a lot of guys want to
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: be in their kids' lives and it's complicated, it's challenging
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: for some and also I think that guys just don't
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: realize how important they are to their kids and what
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: they do and what they say and how they play
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: really matter and trying to make sure that provide programming
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: and support and mentoring around that stuff.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: So that guys can be involved in their lives. I
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: grew up without a dad.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: So, you know, for me, it's, you know, personal mission
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: of making sure other kids don't grow up without their dads.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: And for dads, I'll tell you what, you know, it's
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: pretty cool when you're involved and engaged and how much
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: you get as a man and as a dad and
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: kind of our, you know, really our main purpose, you know,
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: is raising our kids. And so trying to help guys,
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: you know, our tagline is bring out the best.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: And that's what we're trying to do.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Bumped into a lady that loves listening to you here
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: on this podcast. And we got chatting. Total stranger. Bumped
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: into her in a store. And what we both kind
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: of said to each other is one of the things
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: that we like most about you, Josh, is that you
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: don't wear a shirt that says, I've got all the answers.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I've got all of the solutions. One of the things
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: that I like most about you is that you're a
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: great listener. You can relate. You can understand most things.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: You can relate to most things. But you don't necessarily say,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I have all the answers. Ask me anything. Because it
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: is complicated, like you just said.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I definitely don't have all the answers. And My
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: answer isn't your answer anyway. And, you know, we kind
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: of my approach is and sort of learned this along
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: the way is just, you know, each each parent has
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: their own path of how they're going to parent, you know,
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: their own, you know, upbringing and their own beliefs and
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: values and and try to help them get there and
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: be the parent that they want to be.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: And really, it's asking a lot of questions.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: And and and then really one of the one of
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: my mantras is, you know, what can what can we
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: do that's in our control? and really, you know, realize
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: how much we can do to raise our kids well
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: and be a part of their lives and make good decisions.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: And I think it's, you know, how to help people,
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: you know, get there. I'm not the whole solution. There
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: are other folks, you know, out there supporting people too.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: But I think helping steer guys in the right direction
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: and just being a good listener near to talk about
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: the things that are going on, especially the tough things,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: You have a fundraiser that is coming up real soon
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: for Vermont Fatherhood.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Please tell. Yep.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: So October 22nd at the Barry's Social Club from 5
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: to 7, we're going to be having our second fundraiser there.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: It's a great space.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: We're going to have food. We're going to provide some dinner.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: And we're going to talk a bit about what we're doing,
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: our programs, the benefits of coming to our programs, and
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: connect with other people.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Really kind of try to raise the bar.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: I should say not raise the bar, but really think
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: about how dads are valuable and what they can bring,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: but really hear from other dads of how Vermont Fatherhood
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: has been helpful for them Um, and actually we'll have
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: a mom, I think showing up, it's going to talk
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: about how it's been helpful to her husband and family. And,
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: and so I'm excited about that. Um, so, and then
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: we'll do it. We'll do after all that said and done,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: we'll go take a little tour of the space, um,
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: check it out and, um, you know, just a chance
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: to meet, meet dads, meet other people who are in
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: doing the work and, um, you have to build that community.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: Are, are you said only two, fathers that are invited
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: to this fundraiser?
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: No. I've got fathers that are coming as part of
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: the fundraiser, but inviting.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Folks who want to come.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Hear about what we're doing, and maybe you have things
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: to contribute, maybe you have time to contribute, maybe you
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: have ideas to contribute, and maybe you have some money
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: to contribute to what we're doing as a fundraiser. So,
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: but you know, I love hearing ideas too. And one thing,
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: somebody may not have their checkbook with them, but maybe
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: they're good connectors, you know, connecting us to other resources,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: to other people. I think it's always really important how we,
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: you know, build the awareness around Vermont fatherhood and the
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: importance of dads.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: But also what can we do together? How can we collaborate?
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: How can we do things together to make it, you know,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: better for families and dads in particular is what I
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: focus on, but really it's for the families and the kids.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: So, 63%.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Of dads today, Pew Research just did a study not
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: long ago, 63% saying that it is harder now than
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: ever to be a dad in this world. We've got
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: a lot of single parents out there. We've got a
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: lot of dads who are doing a lot more. They're
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: doing more domestic stuff. They're cleaning. They're getting kids off
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: to soccer practice. They're doing all kinds. They're doing more.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: maybe than their dads were a couple of generations ago,
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: maybe a couple of decades ago, but man, here we go.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: It's like, this is, there's a lot that's happening right
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: now for dads. They're feeling the squeeze. Yeah.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: There's a lot.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: I think there's a lot on parents. I think there's
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: been a lot on moms. I think there's, there's just,
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: there's so much to figure out all the time with
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: our kids and, and, you know, financially, it's really difficult
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: to make everything balanced, make everything work. And, and, you know,
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: when that is, when that's not working, stress is high. And,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: and I think that that, that adds to it. As
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: far as that's, I mean, I think doing more, I
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: think it's, I think it's good and helpful.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: There's just, there's more to be done.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: And, and I recently, you know, kind of went through
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: things in my home where, you know, I was asked
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: to do more. And so I'm trying to step up
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: and do more and, and, and share the load. And, Um,
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: it's hard and it's stressful and also like, it's just what.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: We need to do for our kids. And, and, uh,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: you know, when did we go back?
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: I'd do anything for my kids, you know, it's like, well,
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: if I, you know, wash a few more dishes or,
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: you know, fix that window or whatever the things I
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: need to do or spend more time with them, which
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I would say is probably more important. Um, you know,
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: how can I do those things, uh, to step up
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: as a dad? And, and, and I think that, um,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: that's an important thing for me is, you know, raising
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: the bar on, on being a dad, being a father,
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: being a husband, partner, is that we do need to
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: raise the.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: Bar on what we're doing and do more. And it's hard.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: There's no doubt about it.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: And that's why I kind of think what we're doing
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: around supporting dads is.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Part of that. There's more to be done and more pressure.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it was like 50 years ago
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: necessarily being a dad, but I think it's hard and
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I think our kids really need us and it's worth it.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: Everything we put into it, it's like anything else, the
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: more we put into it, the more Our families.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Get out of it.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: The stronger we are, the better our relationships are. And
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: so I think that's an important thing to, you know,
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: to embrace.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: And it's hard.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: You know, saying no is something I've said more of
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: in the last 12 years that I've been a dad.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: And it's so important. You have to say no. more
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: nos to more things and more yeses to your kids.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Like I'm just, um, whether it's work related, whether it's
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: personal related, folks want to get together, go out this, that,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot going on, but man, it's high.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you, I've never missed a game and I'm
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: not playing into anytime soon. Any game, soccer, basketball, uh,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: softball whatever it is you have to be able as
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: a dad to say no to other things no to
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: other pressures and put your kids first.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah no is an interesting thing it's.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: A powerful word man i think well.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: In sort of black and white terms of yes versus
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: no i think um uh you know i'm not a
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: black and white thinker so i will give you the
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: the longer answer which is um no is important yes
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: is important we probably say a lot of yeses.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: We just don't realize we're just doing it.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: It's, you know, it's not like, you know, we just, we,
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: we just do those things, you know, and not saying,
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: you know, yeah, you say yes to the soccer game.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: You say yes to dinner. You say yes to yes
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: to breakfast. We say yes to getting the laundry done.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: We say yes to the, you know, cleaning the floor
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: or whatever.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Else we need to do. And the no's are really
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: important because.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: I think that that's a friend of mine, colleague, old,
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: old coworker said, you know, no is a loving word
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: as well. And, and how we, You know, how we
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: say it sometimes is important, too, and, you know, that we,
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: you know, not just straight up no, but just think
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: of no and maybe give a reason why. Or sometimes
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: the answer is just no, you know, and that's fine, too.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: But I think having good, healthy boundaries, keeping our kids safe.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we have to say, no, I've got a kiddo
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: who just turned 18 this weekend. And even still, no
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: might be the answer, even though he's, you know, technically,
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: I guess, is an adult. But sometimes no is going
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: to be the answer because– you know, he's still learning
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: about how to make choices in his life, even though
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: he has a lot more, you know, power at 18
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: years old and going into adulthood and, and, um, still
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: learning what, what it is and why, why, why it's
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: not okay.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: And, or how you go about doing it or thinking
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: about a little bit more.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Um, I think a lot about, you know, my kids, I,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: you know, I say, no, I say not right now.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Let's do it later. You know what I mean?
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Um, or we'll do it for a few minutes, uh,
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: but then we're going to do something else or you
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: need to do Read first before you, you know, the
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: answer isn't necessarily no.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: You got to do this before you do that.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: So I think there's a lot of in-betweens in that.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: But yes, it feels really good when we.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Get to say yes.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: We like to hear yes. We don't like to hear
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: no as adults. So just keeping that in mind. But
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: I think no is an important word for healthy boundaries,
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: you know, healthy choices. And that's just part of our
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: role as a.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: Parent, as a dad.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I was faced with a yes or no question uh
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: yesterday i was driving solo this weekend it was just
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: lily and i we were at an incredible craft fair
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: and she uh we needed to get home to get
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: some domestic stuff done dinner laundry dishes um and she
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: wanted to stay at the craft fair um by herself
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: with all her friends um so that I could run
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: home and get started on these things just a mile
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: down the road or two. You know, and Dad, would
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: it be all right if I stayed for a little while?
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Can you come back and pick me up in an hour?
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm thinking, you know, what would
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Mom say? What would she be comfortable with? So I
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: found myself faced with that question, which for some parents...
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: It's no big deal at all. You know, so I said, yes, but,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: you know, this is what I expect. And this is
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: where I'm going to be at such and such time.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: And I expect you to be there, blah, blah, blah,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: and expect you to behave. And, you know, it was great.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: It was a good experience. But it's not easy. Give
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: them a little bit of loose leash. Yeah.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's interesting.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: I've been thinking about that with our kids. And I
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: think it's important to, yeah, give the parameters. This is
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: where I'll be. And this is when I'll be back.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Or whatever the things are. Don't do this. Don't do that.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Whatever. As much as you can.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: But I think that we also have to give our
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: kids some independence to be able to sort of work out.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: some things, you know, to some skill building around, like,
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: you know, the kids are going to hang out downtown.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: They're going to hang out wherever they can have with
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: their friends and kind of give them a little bit
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: of room.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: To, to figure that out.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: And, and, um, you know, we don't put our kids
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: in tricky situations, but how can we, you know, give
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: them some sense of independence and, and need to make decisions.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: And we kind of give them the, the, here are
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: the three things, you know, whatever.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Um, you know, I'll be back, stay here. Don't go
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: anywhere else.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: No exceptions.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. had the Labor Day parade.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: In Northfield, and, you know, there's, you know, Henry's got
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: all his buddies down there.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: He's the 12-year-old? He's 11 now, and he's.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: So like to give him the space to be able
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: to like, okay, you don't go outside of this parameter and,
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: you know, stay with your friends and, you know, have
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: a good time, and we'll be back.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: At X time, you know. So I think that's good.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: And, you know, it's hard to go back in what
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: it was like X amount of time ago because I'm
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: pretty sure I was doing that when I was like eight.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? So a different time.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: But I think got to give them a little bit
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: of room and set up the parameters and sometimes the
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: answer's not this time.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: You know? I had to know this this weekend. I
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: had a friend. Henry had a friend over and I
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: went down. I was like, where are the boys? And
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: I went down and they.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Were driving their new remote control cars down on Route 12.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Nice. I said, why are those voices down by the road?
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: I walked down there with the dog and I said,
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: absolutely not.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, there was an absolutely in.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: Front of that? Absolutely not. But we're being safe. And
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I was like, you are not.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Being safe, driving remote controls like your friend is literally
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: sitting on the line.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: We need to find out how fast these things can go,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: and we needed some extra room, and Route 12 is
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: the answer.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: I need to see how fast you were going to
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: go up the hill because you're not going to be
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: driving your cars on the road. You know, it's not
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: a 15-mile-an-hour, 20-mile-an-hour road. It is a 50-mile-an-hour road, and no.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Was there any volume with the absolutely no?
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: You know, I wasn't, like, angry.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: I just said, nope, absolutely not. Nope, we're not negotiating.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: There's points when you don't negotiate, right? There's times you're like, okay,
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: tell me more. And there's times you just say, nope,
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: we're going upstairs. You can go, you know, you can
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: go drive those around, you know, up on the driveway there.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: But I think that those are the moments where, like,
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: and I've been there where I'm.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, this seems cool. I'll just hang out by
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: the train tracks and do this, you know, thing. And no.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I didn't have somebody there to tell me no. I just,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I got lucky, but But, you know, get up the
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: hill and, you know, do something else or whatever. But
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: it was, you know, that's why Noah's important. Like, this
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: is about it. Like, we're not doing that. And I
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: don't think they'll ever do it again. Not because I
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: was screaming at them. It was just, you know, very
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: clear that that is not okay.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: So, yeah.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: And, you know, I feel fortunate that they responded well. And,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: you know, they grabbed the cars and went up the hill. And,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: you know, nobody got hurt.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Josh Miller is my guest from Vermont fatherhood this morning, uh,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: right here on North main street in Barry is where his, uh,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: incredible organization is. Um, and I, I don't know, do
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: we call it an organization? Do we call it a club?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Do we call it a, uh, what do we call it?
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: It's an organization from my fatherhood center, uh, a place where, um,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: dads can come and talk about being dads and, and, uh,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: It's a nonprofit organization, so I'm the one-man show as
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: it stands right now. I currently clean the toilets, and
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I fundraise, and I pay the checks and run the group,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: which has been great. I actually really love it. I
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: had been in charge of an organization before this, and
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: there was 25 people, and it was great.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I loved it. And it was time to get back
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: into doing direct service and being there.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: And at some point, you know, I'm sure we'll grow more.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: And maybe I'll have a partner in crime.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Vermontfatherhood.org. Big fundraiser coming up on the evening of the
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: 22nd at the Berry Social Club from 5 to 7.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Please come out. You're invited. We'd love to have you there.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: learn more, get a tour of the facility, but also
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: enjoy some great food and drink and connection on the 22nd.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you about, you meet with dads
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: every Tuesday night at 5 o'clock right here on North
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Main Street at the center. You also meet with dads
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: in the morning, 9 o'clock. You have an open door,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: coffee's hot, opportunity to sit and talk. Do you ever
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: get new dads who are frustrated with paternity leave? I
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: think in Vermont it's 10 days, I want to say,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: if I'm not mistaken. And then right back to it, man.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: We jump right back into it. And they want to
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: be there for their partners. They want to be there
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: for themselves. The baby, I don't know. It's different for dads.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Do you ever get any talk about that?
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: Not a whole lot.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: I know what guys have done, some guys I'm talking
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: with and myself included, which is kind of pace.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Out the time that we have off.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Each employer is different in how they allow you time off.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: And so sometimes you might do half days and you
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: might do a couple days a week and take the
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: rest of the week off. Some guys are afforded more time,
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: and I've had actually some guys be the stay-at-home person.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: That's actually becoming more common. I've heard that of their
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: wife or their partner has the ability to make more
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: money or has more flexibility, and so they kind of
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: switch the traditional role there. So there are a variety
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: of things, but I think that it's hard. It doesn't
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: feel like it's enough time to really be there, you know,
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: 10 days is not that much.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: It's, you're just, you know, just trying to figure out,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: figure it out.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: And it's a lot when you have to stay at
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: home person, uh, a lot to be at home with
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: a baby and learning about how, you know, all your babies, uh,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: nuances and needs. And, and so, uh, but it's been a,
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: you know, um, I haven't heard too many guys say it's,
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: it's like, you know, they would like to have more.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: I think they just can't, they can't take time off
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: that's paid.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: And that's the hard part is that, you know, it
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: really is, um, you know, something, but I, uh, to
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: be honest with you, a lot of guys that I'm
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: working with are guys who are past that point in
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: time that they, and their kids are a little bit older.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Um, but that's, um, it's there. It's real.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: You know, I think, uh, the money pressure is real.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: The mental load is.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Is real.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: And, and I think there is a lot of pressure
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: sometimes if you were in a two income household and
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: then mom is, let's just do just this scenario. Mom
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: is staying home for X amount of time. And, and
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden you got one income, Um, maybe,
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: maybe she got a little bit of paid leave or
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: whatever it was that there's something there, but, but that
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: there's all.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Of a sudden you have less, um, and you feel
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: like you need more. Um, and, and that's really hard
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: and stressful.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: And I think a lot of guys do feel the
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: pressure of, um, you know, trying to make sure that
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: they're working enough and then the balance of maybe I
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: need another job.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: And, and that makes it hard on everybody. If you're
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden you're spending 50, 60 hours working
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: and not at home. And so that leaves mom, you know,
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: depending on their support system. um, home alone with the
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: baby and that's really hard and stressful. And, and so it,
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: and it doesn't get any, you know, it's not easier,
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: you know, everything is more expensive, you know, you go
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: grocery shopping, you go, you know, uh, you're trying to buy,
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: buy all the stuff, you know, gas, everything that you're
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: trying to do, you know, health insurance is tough. So
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: there's not really, um, there's nothing that's really saving us
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: a whole lot. Um, and, and so that creates a
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: lot of stress and that stress is hard for our
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: mental health, hard for our relationships.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Hard to just get the things that we need in
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: our lives, pay the bills, all this stuff. So, you know,
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: new baby or a bunch of babies.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: It's really hard.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: And I think, you know, I know there's a guy
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: I'm working with who really fell victim to that pressure
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: and really broke and was really angry and aggressive with
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: his kids. And, you know, that's what it comes out.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: It comes out one way or the other, you know,
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: and hopefully find ways to do it in healthy ways.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: But Sometimes we take it out on each other as partners.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: We take it out on our kids. Some guys take
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: it out on themselves. They internalize that stuff. Oh, yeah.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: And so, you know, and there's not really a whole
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: lot of, you know, there's not light at the end
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: of the tunnel in terms of like, oh, there's some
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: windfall that's coming all of a sudden. It's just not there,
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: you know. It feels really hard in that way. So
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: a lot of stress and a lot of pressure around
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: the finances. And taking care, you know, even just staying home,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: starting off your family, I think some guys feel even
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: more pressure. Like I should be doing better. I should
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: be doing more for my family.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I should be more emotionally present for my kids because man,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: they grow fast and all of a sudden you're, you
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: may have some regrets, some guilt. Yeah.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: I mean, it, it builds up and I mean, you know,
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: I hope the guys feel that pressure to be emotionally
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: engaged with their kids. It's, it's, you know, I think
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: the whole thing of just, you know, trying to be
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: all of it, you know, is really hard. I think
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: it's always been hard and, and how do we, um,
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: you know, balance that and, and, um, you know, enjoy
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: the good times too, you know, like just to be
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: able to be there and enjoy it and not just
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: be stressed all the time, which I think sometimes can
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: happen to us.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Sure. So many kids are grown up online. We've talked
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: about this, you and I, uh, at great length in
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: the past. Um, this, this is not easy terrain to navigate.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: And I'm kind of dealing with that a little bit now.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Loves the Roblox. Loves the other games too. We've got
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: limitations set. We have some guardrails set up on what's allowed.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: But how much do you let? Your kids get spoon-fed
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: from stuff online.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, you have to set some real boundaries because
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: if you, you know, you give them an hour of
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: screen time and they want an hour and five minutes.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Because we're in stage three here. We're almost at the
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: end of the game here. Come on, Dad. Are you serious? Yeah.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, almost there. Just a couple more minutes. Just a
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: couple more minutes. Boy, that is that is that is
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: the line. And a couple more minutes is.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Not actually accurate. It's probably 20 more minutes.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: But it's it's I mean, it is the age we're
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: in and it is hard. I don't have the answers.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: I think we try to limit the kids. But once
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: once they get a phone, the older boys, once they
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: get a phone like they it's you know, they have
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: it on their own.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Like it's really hard to. to manage the time that
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: they're on there and.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: Try to, you know, try to model like, you know, gosh,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: I need to be off my phone or I'm going
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: to be off my phone.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: Hey, let's go do this. Go on a craft fair.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Like you said, the soccer games, like all that stuff.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: We're not in our phones, but, but I think it's,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: it is really difficult.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: And I, you know, um, I think just the time
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: on devices and then the dangers on devices. And we had,
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: we actually had a guy come and do some stuff
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: on internet safety with our dads, which was great.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: He's going to come back for sure.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: At least a couple of times and just continue to
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: talk about that.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: You'll let me know.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. Come check that out. Yeah.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would like to see that.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: It's good. It just ignites.
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: You know, you need really like a 10-week session on
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: it because there's just so much stuff to talk about.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: You know, the time, how it affects our kids, what
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: they watch, the content of what they watch, you know,
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: the dangers of, you know, predators online and all the stuff.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Even if they're watching good stuff.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: And there is good stuff.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: There's educational stuff. There's fun stuff that you can do.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: just the blue light and all that crap that gets
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: in your eyes. I mean, there's a lot of stuff
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: that's happening. There's a lot of conversations that need to
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: be happening about that.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's a lot.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: And, you know, I think, you know, you said like
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: the guardrails, you know, how do we set limits? And
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, these are the healthy no's, you know, like,
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: and so, hey, why don't you put that down? I'm
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: going to stop working on my computer. Why don't we
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: go out and throw the football around? You know, like,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: There's a little bit of that. How can we do that?
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: And your daughter said you guys went to crab fairs.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: You're doing stuff that is there. And I'm tired.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: I'm annoyed.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: Go ahead. Jump on it.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: I need to plug into something, too, to just distract myself.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Or I'm dealing with an emergency at work. I need
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: to get back to this guy by email, or I
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: need to make an important phone call right now.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever it is.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: But the kid doesn't differentiate. Like, oh, but you're on
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: your computer.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: Well, this game is really important to me. You know,
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: so that kind of thing. But, you know, so how
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: do we set the limits? How do we make sure
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: they're enjoying other things that are not on the devices?
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: That that's not the only thing that they're on all
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: the time and that that's always the go-to if they're
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: being cranky.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: Like, how do we do that?
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: When do we turn it off at a certain point
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: in the night so they can sleep better?
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: You know, a lot of times it's like, I'm not
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: sleeping well.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: Well, you were on your phone until 11 o'clock last
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: night straight from X amount of time to that amount
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: of time and And so how.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Do we follow through with that?
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: And, you know, it is annoying as heck to be
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: constantly chasing our kids, especially the older ones around.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: Get off your phone. What are you doing?
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: And because they're going to push back. They're always going
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: to push back, push back. But hopefully we say it
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: enough and say it in a way that they can
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: receive it and that they kind of get that in
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: their head.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I should be off my phone. You know,
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: even that, you know, our middle guy will say like,
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: you know, I didn't use my phone. I didn't, you know,
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: whatever this amount of time. I only did this amount
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: of time. So raising that awareness of having some sense
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: of limits. But it's hard, man.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: It is one that people are really struggling with for
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: all kinds of reasons.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: And I say this, too, shifting gears here. Guys, learn
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: from your partners, whether it's your wife, your girlfriend, whoever
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: it may be. Listen to them, too. They may have
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: some really Good advice for you. Let the ego come
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: down a little bit and bring the car down and
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: just listen to your partner. I'm trying to do a
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: little bit more of that. An example was, as I said,
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: this past weekend, alone, driving solo all weekend with Lily,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: and Saturday's weather was just stellar. How many more days
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: are we going to have like this? Whereas it's this warm,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: it's this nice out. Um, I was absolutely dead set
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: that we were riding dirt bikes. I mean, I knew
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: last week that we were riding dirt bikes. It was
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: in stone that that's what we were doing. And I'm like, yeah, yeah,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: we'll do this. We'll go to the craft fair and
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: then we'll ride dirt bikes. And, but I was kind
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: of feeling like, um, she wasn't feeling it. Uh, that
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: she wasn't overly receptive to the idea. And I'm like,
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: do I put a little bit of pressure on her
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: or do I listen to what I think her mom
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: would say, which is deep breath, get on her level
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: and listen to her. And sometimes it's not words. Listen
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: to her body language. Listen to her reaction. Listen to
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: what she's not saying instead of only what you want
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: to do. And she never said, I really don't want
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: to go on the dirt bike. But she did say
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: on the way home, I would love to stop up
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: here and go for a little hike. I've always wanted
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: to do that. Now, I knew that if we stopped
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: and went for a hike, that there wasn't going to
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: be enough time left in the day to get on
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: the dirt bikes. I never said, I almost did, oh, well,
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: if we do the hike, then we're not going to
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: have enough time on the dirt bikes. Yep. Well, I
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: purposely shut my mouth and I was like, I would
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: love to go for a hike. That's a great idea.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Let's go right now.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: We had some time together. We had time together, man.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: That was great.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: But Josh, I wanted to ride the dirt bikes.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Well, well.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: I planned it all week.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Well, next time. Next time, JD.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: Next time.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know if there's going to be a next time, Josh.
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: Well, there will be a next time. And sometimes you
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: just got to go with the flow.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: You got to go with the flow. Got to go
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: with the flow.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: You got to read your kids.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think it's, you know, like, yeah.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: And there were probably a number of times where they
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: wanted to do something and you were like, we're going
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: to do that.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: And they had their mindset on something. Of course. And so, yeah.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: But I think you guys spent some good time together.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: We did. It was great.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: And that's not always as planned. But you did it.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: And that's great. What more can you ask for, really?
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: But I learned something. I also... learned about myself that
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: you just, you gotta just pause for a little bit
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: every now and then, like you just said, go with
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: the flow.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: No, it's, it's, uh, I think, uh, I mean, that's
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: a parenting, you know, like we may have a plan,
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: you know, but, uh, something happens, something happens and, uh,
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: you shift directions and, and, uh, sometimes just, it's what
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: needs to happen.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: So, um, I mean, I think parents are actually pretty
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: good at that. You know, things change, you know?
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: End up with a poopy diaper or you end up
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: with your kid getting hurt or you end up, you know,
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: having to go, you know, go do something at the
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: school or whatever, work.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Calls you in. I mean, all the things, you know,
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: and you just got to change plans.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: Twelve years in, you know, there's no blueprint for, there's
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: no instructions for being a father. Still learning. Still learning.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: Lots of learning.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: And will continue to learn.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: And then when they're 25, we're going to look back
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: and be like, boy, I could have done this better.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: I could have done this differently.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: And so it's a lot. But, you know, I think
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: there's some principles of, like, I was there. I did
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: the best that I could with what I had. And
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: I think those are important things. Like, just, you know,
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: we really don't know. And it's trial and error the
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: whole way. And once you figure out your kid at
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: 3 years old, they're 4. Once you figure them out
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: at 10... They're 15. And once you figure that out
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: and then you're, you know, writing checks to the college or,
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: you know, whatever, you know, who knows what's going on.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: But there's– it's ever-changing. And our expectations of what our
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: kids should be like or what, you know, comparing it
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: to what we were like.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: It's just different, you know. So we got to really,
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: really evolve with it.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: How are you a different dad to your 11-year-old than
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: you were– to your middle 30-year-old kid?
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: I'm older. I'm slower. I'm more tired. For sure.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: My older guy, I mean, I was endless energy. I mean,
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: I had him when I was young, so I was like, go, go, go. Like,
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: you want to do that? Let's do it. Like, I
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: was I was definitely a yes man. I mean, I
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: was like, you know, we just do, you know, whatever
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: he wanted to do. I was like, let's go do it.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: It's me and you, you know, we just, we just
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: did it. And then having three and also doing it
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: with someone. So I really, you know, kind of shared
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: custody with my first guy and we just split time and,
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: and co-parented that way.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: And it was, we were lucky.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: It went pretty well, but I think with these guys,
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: you know, having three boys and, you know, my wife
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: comes from a different background. I feel like we have
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: different ideas around parenting. And so that was different. But
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: me as a dad, I think I still, you know,
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: especially I was actually missing that when they were younger,
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: I used to play with them a lot. We used
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: to be down on the floor a lot, a lot
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: of reading stories, a lot of snuggling, a lot of just,
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: you know, going on a plan, going to play groups,
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: all the things we did, you know.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: And I think now as they're older, it's different. I actually,
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: I think I was actually a better dad when I
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: was younger, I feel like I did a lot more
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: with them and had endless energy. And now as time
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: goes on, it's like, yeah, you know, we'll do that
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: for a few minutes, but then I'm going to go
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: back inside or, you know, like I'm not as, I
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: don't have the same kind of energy. And, um, it's
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: also different having a bunch of kids, you know, and
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: how to, how to share yourself with all of them.
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: And I feel like there is more responsibility, uh, for
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: me to take care of things. And so I think,
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: but on the more positive side, I think that I,
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: I'm not really– I mean, I'm not reactive. I don't
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: yell at my kids hardly at all. I think I
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: really understand kind of what's going on for them and
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: try to be prepared for that. I'm generally an easygoing
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: guy anyway, but I'm trying to make sure that they
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: have good limits. But I'm not– there's a lot of
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: things I could be better at in how I parent them.
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: But I feel like I am in their life all
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: the time, present and engaged with them.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: And– Yeah, I don't know, man.
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, you might have to interview them, man, to
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: find out, you know, what kind of dad I am
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: to them. But, you know, my younger guy, I feel
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: like 11-year-old, my Henry, he's, you know, we're kind of
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: attached at the hip.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: We're doing pretty good. I coach a soccer team. We're
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: together a lot.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: I've been told, I've been labeled. I've been told that
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I'm a trad dad.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: Trad dad?
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Trad. What does that mean? Is that different from rad dad?
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Trad dad is a traditional dad. Yeah. Old school. Old
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: school values. Old school sense of discipline. Accountability. Consequences for
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: your behavior. Stuff like that.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Trad dad.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: Dad who labeled you that.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: Uh a friend a friend okay and you know um
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: i'm like i don't give a damn what you labeled
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: me i said you want to call me a trad
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: dad then that's fine um but yeah i'm i'm not
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: gonna just let my kids you know run totally wild
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: there's gonna be my kids my kid there's gonna be
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: some rules there's gonna be some boundaries man yeah yeah
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: no it's i mean including that first slow dance Josh.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: You know there's you can be labeled trad dad and
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: it could have maybe a negative connotation but probably there
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: are a lot of things in there that are really
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: good about how you do things but the fact that
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: you're I don't know I don't know how many dads
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: and daughters go you know cruising around on their dirt
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: bikes and how many go to crab fairs I don't
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: know maybe you are not that much of a trad
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: dad I don't know maybe that's what dads did but
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: A lot of times dads come home and they just,
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe they read a story or see him
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: at night after work and hang their head up and
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: give him a hug goodnight and that's it. I mean,
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: you sound like a little bit, you know, upgrade from
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: a trad dad.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: And you know what? Give it another couple of weeks
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: and there'll be a new label. Yeah. Right?
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Sure, sure.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's going to be times you're going to be
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: the mean dad. Sometimes you're going to, you know, will
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: you ever be the cool dad? I don't know, J.D.,
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: we'll see. You know, maybe, you know, when they're, When
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: they're 15, 16, oh, you know, your dad's cool, or
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: my dad's cool, or you hope you get that.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: But then you can't be too cool. No, of course.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Then you're not a very good dad, probably.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: So true.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Hey, man, you know, those old-fashioned values are valuable. They
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: can be really, really good.
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: You're going with the times, man. You're trying to figure out.
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: You're asking questions, and I think that stuff's important, and
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: you're doing the best you can.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I love chatting with you, man. You know, one of the,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: finally this morning, one of the challenges that I've had
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: is the friends that I have that are not dads,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: not parents, and the relatability. They, you know, where I
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: feel like, my God, they just don't understand. I can't
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: just get up and go on vacation with you guys.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: What am I going to do? Leave my kid at
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: home to fend for herself? Just the relatability. There's certain
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: things that... And we're talking all the way back to
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: some high school friends. Sure. That they just don't necessarily.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Understand.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: Well, that's, that happens a lot for people who have,
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: you know, they, they're the first in their crew to,
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: to start having babies and, and, uh, they can feel
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: really isolated, you know, when, when they can't go do
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: the stuff that they, they used to go do with their,
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: their buddies and, and, uh, sure. Or as much as
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: they used to be able to do. And, and, uh, um, that's, that's,
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: that can be hard. It can be isolating your friendships to,
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: and whatever age you are, you know, not be able
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: to go do those same things. And, Um, and that,
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: and sometimes we're all just home taking care of our kids.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: We don't get time and hang out with each other,
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: but I think it's important. I would say it's actually,
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: you know, important to stay connected to people. Um, I
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: think a lot of, you know, the community stuff, um,
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: that we're trying to build is just that guys do
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: need to connect with each other, whether it's about, you know, parenting,
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: whether it's about football. I mean, you don't have to
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: get together with your buddies and talk about parenting and
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: talk about, you know, football you can talk about you
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: know who's going to win the world series you can
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: talk about craft fairs you can talk about going hunting
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: fishing like all the things that you do and just
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: you need that that's really important and I think that
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: I found a lot of guys can can struggle when
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: they feel like they've lost their friendship base and or
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: they just they really kind of lone wolf in it
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: and you know maybe on their own terms and and
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: you know it's it's important when you're parenting to be
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: able to have someone to reach out to and and
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: just you know hey how you doing and you know,
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: whether it's really good or, you know, you're struggling and
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: be able to share that.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: I think that's super important.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Amazing. I love hearing you, man. You have, you have
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: so much insight here. Navigating tough conversations, you know, 11, 12,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: 13 years old. I mean, this is, I'm in the
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: thick of it now and they're starting to happen. And
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not, you know, I've got one kid, so I
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: haven't had a dress rehearsal at all here. You've got
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: a big fundraiser coming up on the 22nd. It's a
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Thursday night? Yep. Thursday night at the Barry Social Club
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: from 5 to 7. Everyone's invited. Please come. Remember, it's
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: a fundraiser. If you can bring some cash, drop it
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: in the hat. Enjoy a great great meal, some drinks,
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: and then a tour of Vermont fatherhood.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: You got RSVP though. Please show up.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: All right. How do we, how do we do that?
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: Uh, you can, well, my number is usually all over
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: the place, but, um, you can email me at Josh
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: at Vermont fatherhood.org.
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: Uh, or just get on your Facebook number.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Facebook page and send me a message or whatever. And,
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: or stop by, let me know you want to show up.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: Okay. This is incredible. I love having conversations like this
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: with you. Um, a lot more to be said, uh,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: I'm dealing with the relentless pressure right now of getting
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: a cell phone. We'll talk about that maybe next time around.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: Sounds good. But it's brutal.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Hold out. Hold out.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Hold out. I'm trying, man. It's exhausting. Yeah. I mean,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: it's like the pressure is, I mean, even tears. I mean,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: it's incredible. Yeah.
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you right now, man, you buy that phone, man,
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: and you're going to jump into another world of no's
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: and having to be on top of it.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm getting the whole thing of, what if
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: there was an emergency, Dad, and I needed to talk
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: with you? Yeah. She's going for the jugular here.
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not surprising. Get a landline.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: 20 bucks, get a landline, and show her how to
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: use the rotary phone.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: And leave the list of numbers next to the phone.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Rotary phone? What's that? You know, and not only that,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: but it's the other kids in the same grade that
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: have the phones. Well, Billy and Johnny and Lucy and
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Joe and everybody else, else has got a cell phone.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: Well, that's not true.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: I'm the only one on the planet, Dad, that doesn't
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: have a cell phone. What's wrong with you, Dad? You're
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: being irresponsible.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: And then we got the, we'll go down this rabbit hole,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: you and I. We will go down this rabbit hole.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Another rabbit hole I want to go down with you
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: at some point is the pressure of the ear piercing.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: Not in the earlobe, but up top.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when are you getting it?
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Trad dad. What are you saying?
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: I said, when do you get it? When are you
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: getting your ear pierced? Father, daughter, ear piercing. That's... Yeah,
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: that's such a great idea. That's no problem. You can
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: get it. I'm going to get the exact same one
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: in the same ear. And wait till I show up
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: in school.
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. And everybody sees it. A lot to navigate here, man.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: There's a lot to be said. I really appreciate you.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: coming in here you've been doing this now with me
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: for quite a while and it is it is a
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: real honor to me to have you on here you're
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: a wealth of information you don't have all the answers
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: but you got some great insight and amazing perspective and
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate it yeah thanks for having me who
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: does have all the answers yeah of being the perfect father.
• 50:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah well that's not it's just being there being dad
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: yeah not about perfect Yeah. Just being there and showing up, really.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Good stuff, man. Learn more, vermontfatherhood.org. Get on their socials.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Check them out. Be there on the 22nd of this month.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: That's next week, I think.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: I think so.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: 22nd at the Berry Social Club, 5 to 7 for
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: the big fundraiser. Your second one. Yep. For Vermont Fatherhood.
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: Great stuff, Josh. Thank you so much for coming in here.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: Thanks for all you do for our community. So, so much.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: And we appreciate it. Thanks.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: Have a great day.
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: We'll see you tomorrow. Right here. This is Monday. And
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: it's day one of the 20 stores in 20 days tour.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: It starts at 12 noon. High noon today. And I'm
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: not going to tell you where I'm going to take you.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: But I'll tell you, it's one of Central Vermont's favorite stores,
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: and it's the first of 20, 20 consecutive days, and
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: it's starting today at 12 noon. Do not miss it.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: Have fun. Enjoy the rest of your day. God bless.