Latest / Trudge Report / Ep. 140 - Beyond Drugs and Alcohol: Janine Stella on Eating Disorders, Recovery & Finding Her Voice

Transcript

Ep. 140 - Beyond Drugs and Alcohol: Janine Stella on Eating Disorders, Recovery & Finding Her Voice · Trudge Report

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and welcome to another episode of Trudge Report.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is a recovery-based podcast.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Sean, and I am your host.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm joined by my uh good friend and fellow the UN Trudger, the UNO Trudger, and is a very special guest tonight, which we'll get into in just a second.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Please remember to listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you may get your podcast.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Videos will be posted each week so you can watch episodes on YouTube and Facebook.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: But as always, please be sure to download on your listening platforms.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Remember to like and subscribe on all socials with the handle at Trudge Report Pod.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast is brought to you by Stella Mix Podcast Management.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and tonight um we have a very special guest.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: We've been, you know, she's so busy, we've been um trying to book her on this show for just just years now.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're going on um two and a half years, I think, Greg, but we finally have Miss Janine Stella herself, who has a few choice words for the other two that are not here.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we are very, very happy to have Miss Janine Stella on as our guest tonight.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh founder, um, CEO, um you know, CTO, CFO, all the O's, except for the uh Chief Technology Officer, because I think that's her her wonderful husband, Mr.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Roy.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: But um, Janine, welcome to the show.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thanks.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the show, finally.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, finally.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so excited to be here.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Appreciate that.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Greg, what's going on down there in Cleveland?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Cleveland's uh uh a raucous uh ball right now, dude.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: We uh big deal.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're heading to the ALCS for they won yesterday, Janine, and it's uh it's a big deal, yeah.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is a big deal.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_03: I love your shirt.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: That is moving on.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, spectacular.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, indeed.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, so uh Tribe came back from down 02 to win three games straight, knocking out the the White Sox heading to the ALCS.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we're doing that with the fifth lowest payroll in baseball, which is uh also pretty exciting.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Should be um exciting for not just Cleveland sports fans, but anybody who's a uh fan of the sport of small market, yep, small market teams.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Now we just need the Dodgers to get eliminated.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, indeed.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So um, no, it's uh it's uh great for the city.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um the place was going nuts last night.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: I I may or may not make a poor financial decision and and see about taking Peyton to a uh a game, but we'll see.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how poor that would be.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's an experience.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: What were we talking about?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Was that last week or the week before?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like spend the money on experiences, not things.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's an experience.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: A playoff game or or dare I say uh a world series game would be something pretty special.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: So one game at a time.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, indeed.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: So uh what else is going on?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing, man.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just uh, you know, same old, same old wedding planning and uh you know, just uh gearing up.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're actually um I don't know if I've even mentioned it on the pod yet.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: We are taking a family trip to Disney uh for Thanksgiving.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you did.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think you yeah, you mentioned it to us.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it was live, but you mentioned it to us.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: So getting uh all that squared away, gotta save up three hundred dollars for my own personal lightsaber um that I'm gonna build.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh put it on credit.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, so uh we got a we got a wedding coming up this weekend, a little um Cedar Point trip, maybe for Halloween, and so it should be a fun week.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Has Peyton ever been to Disney?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, when he was when he was much younger.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: So okay, okay.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, all right, good stuff.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_03: So Tom, our illustrious editor, is one of the characters at Cedar Point and has been for the last five years.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: If you're going for the haunted uh nice, yeah.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't know where he is, but I will find out and let you know.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta meet up with Tom.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm coming for you, Tom.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Watch out.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Janine, we're gonna throw you right into our little around the horn segment.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, before we get into the interview itself, how are you doing?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: You look wonderful tonight.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: I love your background.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, what's going on?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, just living the dream, hanging out, relaxed a lot this weekend.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, long overdue.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: I've been in the the haunted mansion kingdom for the last, I don't know, two weeks.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: I went to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando and we did nine houses in one night.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: Nice wow.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: It was a lot.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: We walked an obscene amount of steps and it was awesome.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_03: And then last weekend I went to the South Florida fair for Fright Night.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you've ever done that.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: That was fantastic as well on Friday night.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I rested all day.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: Good for you.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: Halloween is the best time of year.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: I highly recommend that if people are into it, they see the magic of the haunted houses.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's very cool.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: The Halloween horror fit right in with Greg and Corey.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the Halloween horror nights at Universal was absolutely spectacular when I lived down there.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, just to see all those people like in movie quality makeup and how much they actually like put into it, it's pretty spectacular.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: I I haven't been in I don't I I honestly I I've know I've been once or twice.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: I can't remember if it was pre-sobriety or after sobriety.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: I just remember not being that uh like it wasn't that good.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's gotten a lot better.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's been at least a decade, I'll say that.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: At least a decade.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's gotten a lot better, but I remember not being that impressed.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I know that's blasphemy to you guys, but it is, it is so it was very cool.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't been in 10 years either.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_03: And my best friend lives there and had uh fast passes, and that's the only reason why we went because it just doesn't make sense to stand in line.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, what did you did you were you working down there, like shooting shows, or was it just a complete like no?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: It was my godson lives up there and wanted me to go, and um we just they have they have uh annual passes because they live in Orlando, and um yeah, we just decided to to do it.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: It was super fun.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was great.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: Hellraiser was good.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, Ozzy Osbourne honestly was probably one of my favorite houses.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: It was so cool, like what a great tribute to Ozzie Osbourne.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: It was awesome.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um there's a lot of really cool things that they had for sure.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Is that what you're going down there for, Greg?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: What Halloween Horror Nights?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're we're going to Cedar Point.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're going that's up here.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Gotcha.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, didn't you just say you're planning a trip to Disney though?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to to actually to go to Disney World, yeah.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_03: For Thanksgiving.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think Halloween, I forget when Halloween Horror Nights ends.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's at the beginning of November at some point.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Does it run through Halloween?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: I think so.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so Janine, a little real quick, but you know what?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, before we go any further, is there anything that you want to say to uh to to Corey and Dan for uh for not being here?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to, you don't have to, but is there anything you'd like to say?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I would just like to say that they've missed out on the best guest they've ever had on the Trudge Report, and uh without great uh excuses.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and uh yeah, that's all I have to say.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, all right.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: Sucks to be them.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Good stuff.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so a little bit of background for our listeners that might not know, but Janine and I are we call each other cousins.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're not like technically blood related, but we pretty much are.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Our families go way, way, way back.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Her father, who she'll talk about, I'm sure a little bit, was extremely close with my grandparents on my mother's side, uh, Mr.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: John and Ann Maglino, um, RIP to both of them.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: They were very close.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then I grew up for the uh kind of the first handful of years I lived in Florida.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: We spent a lot of time over at Janine's, and um, I still remember where your dad lived.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: It was in it was in Green Acres, wasn't it?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was in Green Acres, and uh so our families go way, way back.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: My mom and Janine are very close.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: My Janine and a couple of my cousins are very close.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like it just kind of goes way back, and and it's it's it's a pretty cool story, which we'll touch on a little bit of how we she became our producer and and podcast manager, but um it really just started out as a a group thread of four of us talking shit to each other and talking about football.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And one of us was like, Hey, we should start a podcast, and I was like, Well, actually, my cousin does that for a living.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: So um and it goes way back.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll stop there.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: So, Janine, welcome to the show.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously, I I honestly don't know why it's taken so long to get you on the show.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of those things that I've always thought about and I've always like, oh, that'd be great.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it just one thing leads to the next and it gets pushed off and pushed off.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: But um, you know, after having we had dinner at my mom's house not too long ago, and it came up.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: So uh let's start with just tell us a little bit about yourself.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Where'd you grow up, where are you from, a little background, uh, marriage, um, school, careers.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: What did you do before podcasting?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: I happen to know the answer to that, but um, just give us a little background.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I was born and raised in L Dub, aka Lake Worth Beach, Florida.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh for those who know, they know.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_03: They know, they know.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: L Dub.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, it it's it was a very interesting upbringing, downtown Lake Worth.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: Born and raised.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't travel far.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've moved away, and then I've always come back because I I love it.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's my home.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, a lot of my family's here.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I've done a lot, I've done everything from retail to financial planning, which I love.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_03: And then I moved into uh television production, and then from there I naturally progressed into podcasting.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: I was really intrigued by it.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: And it was before it was like really a thing on the East Coast, it was pretty big, like in California and on the West Coast, but no one really knew what it was over here, and everyone thought I was nuts, and uh I'm still nuts, that's true, and um but in the best possible way, yeah, yeah, and here we are.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I I started several podcasts um in the MMA section of I guess you could, you know, say combat sports, which MMA as in mixed martial arts for those who may not know.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: I started interviewing fighters uh behind the scenes, and it just became a thing during COVID.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: I never would have expected in a million years that I would have started podcasting in that capacity, but I I did.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: And then I really got to love the sport and uh get to know a lot of the gyms here in South Florida.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_03: We live in the Mecca for MMA and then I worked for a podcast company, and then um the ultimate goal was ultimately to be able to have my own studio and back in 2022 is when I started my company, but I was always renting from or renting a space, right?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: Whether it was in a co-working space or whether it was um in an office building, I kept moving around a little bit.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: And then the space that I'm in now, it took me about 11 months to get in there, but I've been in there now since wow, it's been a year, it's been 12 uh 14 months.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's been 14 months.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: So it's our first brick and mortar, it's fun.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we love it.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we'll get we'll get a little more into the into the podcast side of it because there are some interesting things I'd love to know and I'd love to talk about.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: But um, so Janine, you're in recovery.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, maybe not the type of recovery that uh the four of us are in that we talk about constantly, but definitely 100% uh of a form of recovery.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, you're pretty open about it.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: I've listened to some other podcasts where you've talked openly about it.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea that that you had struggled with this form of addiction before you had brought it up to us and before we listened to those other shows.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I'd like to, if if you can, tell the listeners what you've struggled with and um kind of what you struggle with and kind of what was going on in your life, kind of emotionally, mentally, socially, when like it all started essentially.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so eating disorders, and I'm sure with other forms of addiction too, typically there's a there's a trauma response, right?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um it could be trauma from just about anything for me.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, my mom died when I was really young when I was 12, and then my dad uh was the sole parent.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it was very stressful.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: He was an amazing man, he was a great guy, he did the best he could.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I just I had a bad experience with therapy.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: He tried to get me into therapy like right after my mom passed, and it was a like horrific experience.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: And so I never went back.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: And that probably was the worst thing that could have happened because I didn't like the therapist, but my father just thought, oh, she doesn't want to go to therapy.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: So he didn't push it on me, but I really did need the therapy.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: And then I remember um I was always a heavy kid.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: My dad was always heavy, my mom was heavy, like we have a lot of obesity in our family.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I was picked on, I was bullied a lot in school.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um it was just kind of a normal thing and it sucked.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: And then I remember when I was 16, I got involved in the rave scene and was doing drugs and found that I was losing weight by doing drugs because you know, when you're up all night at rave.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: The original Ozempic.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, exactly.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: When you're up all night doing, you know, ecstasy or drinking bottles of water and not eating, you know.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: And then I thought, oh wow, I'm losing weight.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um and then I'm like, well, maybe if I start skipping meals, I'll lose weight quicker.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm like, well, what if I just start purging, binging and purging, and just do it for a little bit?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_03: I just want to do it until I lose the amount of weight that I want to lose, and then I'll be fine.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'll stop.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I remember having this conversation with myself at 16.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: I can remember the first time that it actually happened.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I remember thinking, all right, this sucks, but I guess I could get used to it for a while, and then it just became a habit.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: It became a big, big secret.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: And uh my father had no idea.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: I graduated high school, I ended up going to college.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: My whole first year, second year in college.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, my dad had no idea I was starting to faint a lot in college because I was going to the gym a lot and I had lost a lot of weight.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: I wasn't really eating, I was studying at all times of the night.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: Uh really just not in a good I was still getting great grades, but I had this like thing, you know, like my little, my dirty little secret.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: And it was very frustrating.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I remember coming home, I think I graduated finally.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_03: My dad didn't find out until I graduated college.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: So it was, let's see, 2004.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I finally told him I was terrified.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: And uh he immediately was like, Oh my god, I gotta get her help.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I went to a GI specialist and I had really messed up teeth.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: I have all my teeth are bonded because it's a disaster.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um because all the acid and stuff.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: I have a hiatal hernia, I had a upper and lower GI my insides.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Thank God I'm you know, I probably am due for another one.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_03: But I really hurt my body.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: And not because I thought I was fat.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I thought I was chubby, but it's not because I thought I was fat.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's the biggest uh misconception that people have when they have a someone that says they've they've had an eating disorder.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um, for me, it was about control.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I didn't have control of my mom's death, and I didn't have control of my dad actively dying, and he was disabled and very, very sick.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I was a caretaker, and it was the only thing I could control.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_03: The only thing that made me feel that I had any type of control over anything.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so that just carried through many, many, many years, and then I got help, and then I was in what you I guess you could call it recovery, but you're never fully recovered with an eating disorder because I have to eat every day.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um I wish I could take a pill like the Jetsons.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like I always tell people, they're like, if you could have a genie and you could have a wish, what would that be?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I would wish to have like a pill that you put in the microwave and it's like a full course meal, and then like I would be full and I wouldn't have to think about food because food has always been my drug of choice, where people could walk into a Chinese buffet and just have a plate of food, I would eat five plates of food.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like I have no self-control in that capacity whatsoever.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, just like if I was sitting next to an alcoholic and I had a glass of wine and I had three sips of wine and got up from the table and I'm like, oh, I'm finished.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: They look at me like I was crazy.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, How could you leave wine in the glass?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: That's how I feel when I look at people's plates of food.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, how could you leave food on a plate?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_03: Like, why would you do that?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: So it's the same type of addiction, just in a different capacity, I guess.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Do you do you think it's easier to conceal uh the eating disorder addiction than like drug like it is for drugs and alcohol?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it easier to hide and keep from people?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm a master.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: Just like just like drug addicts are master manipulators and liars to hide and conceal.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: I am the exact same way.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: A hundred percent.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: People would never know.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: People would never know, they would never suspect, they would have no clue.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: I like what you said about like uh, you know, the control or lack thereof, I guess uh you would say.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And because I I've struggled with that too, you know, um, not just with alcohol and drugs, but you know, with with I think from with food from a very young age, and I think some of it was just told like growing up in a in a you know lower income or middle class family, I was we were just told like you finish what's on your plate, right?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like you so you so I'm used to eating.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm used to eating past the point of I'm not hungry anymore, but I have to finish what's on my plate, you know.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that that whole thing has led to you know, where I'll eat long past the the point that I'm hungry still, you know.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I I know that like for nowadays, uh like I have to use portion control.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't use portion control, I'm um I'll I'll eat three like you said, I'll go to a buffet and eat five plates of food.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I I like what you said it because just like with drugs and alcohol, like eating disorders are not just about the food, it's about what's going on inside.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you kind of spoke a little bit about the control, but like in what ways uh would you say yours was connected to that control or comfort or coping with external stresses and stuff like that?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um it was all it's all psychological.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's this it's the control of I could eat two large pizzas and vomit and not have any of the calories, but I still felt full afterwards.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_03: And that is the horrible side effect of bulimia is that you can eat and consume a considerable amount of calories, throw up, purge, and then you still you still feel full.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_03: I know that sounds strange, but you still feel I never knew that.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_03: So like for for a bulimic, they're like as soon as they get the food in, their immediate thought is how do I get it out?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like their their immediate thought is how do I not gain weight from whatever it is that I ate.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_03: And then they start playing this game with themselves, like what can I eat that I can eat and not throw up and be okay?
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: And it's this constant, like really fucked up self-talk that you just you just have these horrible conversations with yourself all the time.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's awful.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't wish it on anybody, it's awful.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: What um so I guess that maybe that's part of it then, but what's the biggest misconception that people have about eating disorders?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: I see, I never knew that.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: I never knew that you actually still feel the full feeling.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I thought, you know, you just always felt hungry.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: But so what's the biggest misconception about eating disorders that you wish you could dispel or that you've, you know, discovered for yourself?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: The biggest, like, you know, that's just not true about it.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I would definitely say that you could be any size or weight and still have an eating disorder.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_03: I think the common misconception is that.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: You have to look emaciated and skin and bones and you know, bones protruding, like looking at someone and maybe seeing their collarbone or looking at someone and they That's what I always thought.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: I always thought that.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_03: And that is, I mean, a lot of times that's a form of um anorexia where people just don't eat at all.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: But for a chronic overeater or someone that's a compulsive eater or someone that's bulimic, you would have no idea by looking at someone that they had an eating disorder.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And just again, for our listeners who may not know, anorexia is the ones that starve themselves.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then bulimia is the ones that eat and then throw it back up.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Binging, purging.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, there's also something called exercise bulimia, which um is where women will eat food and count every calorie and write it all down and then exercise till they work out all of those calories.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: So basically it's like they're eating nothing.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's really like there's so many forms of eating disorders that people just are not aware of.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_03: And it happens to men.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_03: I know a very actually um he'd be a great guy to have on the show.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: He um had an eating disorder and he's also been sober, by the way, um from drugs and alcohol now.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: I forget how many number of years, but he's a bodybuilder.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um he's a trainer at a gym.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: And he um, you know, went through all went through all of it, but it doesn't discriminate.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: It could be anybody, it could be a child, it could be I go through um, I go to different meetings, um, whether it's through um there's certain meetings that you can go to when you have an eating disorder.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: And if I'm on a call and I'm on a Zoom call with people, you would never know that that person had been struggling just by looking at them.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: There's no way to tell.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's interesting.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why, why do you think, you know, because they say that um on average, like people with uh eating disorders, like it's like 75 to 80 percent female.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why what is your opinion on why that is?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, definitely growing up in the 90s and grow, you know, being born in the 80s, growing up in the 90s, we had this heroin cheek look from the models uh that was a symbol of what you were supposed to look like.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I grew up when there was avacromagan finch and you wanted your your hip bones to protrude through and and your jeans to be underneath your belly button, and you needed a flat stomach.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: And it was really common for girls to be like, oh, just eat carrots or lettuce, or just eat this.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think teenage girls have very different conversations in school, and when they hang out with other teenage girls than maybe guys do.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's just more prevalent as in we're pretty only if we look a certain way.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so we grow up with that ideology, unfortunately.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: And now it's a whole nother level of that with social media and and everything.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: But that's you're right, that's kind of probably where some of it started.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm sure it's been around a lot longer than that, but like, you know, I can remember that too growing up.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm a I was born in the late 80s, but still I was old enough in the 90s to remember Abercrombie and Fitch and and like my mom saying, like, well, you know, most women don't look like that, son, you know, that kind of stuff.
• 25:40
  unknown: Right.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's unrealistic views of of our media and magazines that unfortunately kind of skewed it, kind of screwed the American culture.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think it's it's not the same in other parts of the world.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think in America more than more than ever, it's just bizarre.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like you said too, with with especially with social media now, is so many people tie their own self-worth to their image and what they look like on the outside versus what who they are on the inside, who they are as a real person, you know.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: That's crazy.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's sad.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_03: I still get bullied on social media.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: I still even even when I was interviewing fighters, like I would read the comments and I'm like, oh my God.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_03: And it was never from women, it was always from guys.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like the comments that people would say, and I'm like, oh my God, I cannot believe that people are bullying other people.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just awful.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: What um was there like a specific moment realization, you know, crazy instance that happened where you decided, like, hey, I I can't live like this anymore, or was it more like a gradual thing for you?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: My whole life.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: My whole life.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but when I moved home from college and when I graduated and I had to get a job and I was living back with my father again, who was already sick.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I felt like I couldn't, once you hold a secret like that for so long, I think that you and myself, I can't speak for anyone else, but for myself, I couldn't handle it anymore.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: The shame and embarrassment was horrible, but I couldn't continue the way I was continuing because I knew it was a problem and I needed help.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny you you jumped back, you talked about your dad being overweight.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: I only knew your dad skinny, but that was because he had gotten sick, and after all that, I had seen pictures, obviously.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know, that was an interesting, um interesting thing.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: And and like you just said, the the guilt, shame, and remorse that comes along with it.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's the same thing we experience in with you know addiction recovery and drugs and alcohol.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I think I more I more so got I definitely did come to my dad.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: It was my dad, really, my mom too, my dad when I was like really ready to get help, but it but the cat had been out of the bag for so long up to that point, it wasn't even it was not a secret.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's that is one of the big differences.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Although I'm sure you know people that struggle with eating disorders, that that secret has also been out of the bag for a long time with their friends and family, they've known about it until they decide to get help.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, that moment of like I just truly can't live this way anymore.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Something's gotta give.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's it's crazy because my moment of that, I feel like I had moments prior to getting sober where I was like, I had a moment of clarity.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, man, I gotta do something, something's gotta change.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it and I've had stronger feelings of that before getting sober, but then like something would happen and I'm right back to it.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, just kidding, or or you know, the that that that makes it.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Usually it's a little bit of money in your pocket.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was way out of it.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody right, yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was just oh, I got a good meal and a hot shower.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I find it interesting, like you kind of kept that secret for so long, and then it's like something inside of you just clicks and says, I gotta, I gotta let this out.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: And little do we know, that's that's probably what saved your life in a lot of ways, is just getting it out, especially to someone like your dad.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um what does daily recovery look like for you?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: And and and maybe that's maybe that's not even the proper question, because I know like for us, we have meetings, we have prayer meditation, which I'm sure you incorporate a form of that in your life.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like we have, you know, uh certain recovery literature books.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what does daily recovery look like for you?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of it has to do with always having a plan as far as like what's in my house, like what foods do I surround myself with and purchase that I can eat at home and know that it's a healthy food for for me to eat and feel good about it because where I would get into old habits is when I was starving and I would go through a drive-thru because I didn't have a plan and then I get into trouble.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's quick and easy.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_03: So it's having a plan.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I always like stock my fridge with certain like protein shakes um or just snacks that I know that are like I can grab quickly.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um and therapy is is different, I think, in a lot of ways.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, but the same, like just like people can relapse with sobriety, like I've definitely relapsed a ton of times.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_03: And there's no perfection in with eating disorders.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: There's no the the mental part of it requires a lot of attention with therapy.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm still in therapy, I just started back up again.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um but it's uh EMDR therapy.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_03: So it's it's have you heard of EMDR?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so it's like therapy that is centered around trauma and it gets to the root of the traumas that caused it, and like it goes way back.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like I was gonna say that's the one they take you way back.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I um they do a lot of that in in addiction recovery now, too.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, believe it or not.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's huge in addiction recovery because it it takes you all the way back.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's hard work, you know, it's it's hard to do that.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_03: But and then I also surround myself with only people that I feel comfortable being around to talk about it with because there's a there's a judgment there, especially when I go out to eat.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: If someone knows that I've had an eating disorder in the past, I used to feel like, and I don't anymore, but I used to feel like when I was active in my addiction that everyone was staring at me.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like everyone was I remember you said that on that other podcast I listened to you uh a couple years ago.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: I remember you talked about that.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that was interesting.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: It was so like it was uncomfortable to go out to dinner because I felt like people were looking at me.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: And if I legitimately had to pee, I wondered if they thought that like I was gonna go to the bathroom and vomit.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and I'm like, no, I really have to pee.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: But like, I'm like, do you want to come with me?
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: Do you do you do you want to listen to me urinate in the stall?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what what would you like, you know?
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_03: But it was that constant like ick feeling.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: So they always say that in recovery, like you shouldn't go out to eat a lot in the beginning because you're still trying to find um the people that you're comfortable in situations you're comfortable eating around because we have to eat to live.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the hardest part about this addiction.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's it well, it's similar to like I can remember going to like a family wedding when I was like six months sober on my dad's side, and a couple of my cousins who I used to drink with a lot and was and were were close with for a long time.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I could tell they were weird around me when they were drinking at this wedding, and I remember having to tell them, like, hey, do not worry about me.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have my dad here.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: I I wasn't I didn't have my license back at that point.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: I have an exit plan if I need to.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to celebrate our other cousin's wedding, you know, Lauren.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but I remember having and that's we have to do that a lot.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I've had to tell people that over the years, not so much anymore lately, but like, hey, you do you drink if you want to drink, don't worry about me.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: I would not be here.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: I would not be attending this event, this gathering, this social occasion if I didn't feel comfortable being around it, you know.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny, I don't know, funny is the right word, but like I forget that you have struggled with this because we have dinner at my mom's house quite frequently.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: And and I've never once at those dinners been like, oh my god, I wonder, like, is this is this weird?
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you do seem that you have a healthy relationship with food nowadays.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Would you say that's accurate?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: Would you say it's oh yeah, fluctuates or or I would definitely say that that's way more accurate than it's ever been.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: 25 years ago, definitely not the case.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely not.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_03: Like now, I think once you've been in recovery long enough and you you go in and out of therapy and you you get help when you you need the support.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like I still will go into um different kinds of meetings um that I feel like people are really supportive because everyone needs that.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone needs people that make them feel normal.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_03: And with with eating disorders, it's really helpful to have people that have gone through it understanding because just talking about it with my girlfriends is not therapy, right?
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_03: And no one understands.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's like having a bunch of sober friends that have never struggled with addiction, and you're hanging out with them and they just can't possibly understand what you're you know.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: What do you um so like let's say you do have I I mean, I don't even know if if relapse is the right word, maybe it is, but like let's say, you know, like for me personally, I've been on a uh a weight loss journey for some time now.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: I've had a lot of success with it, you know, but there have been moments where or you know, stretches of time where yeah, I go off the rails a little bit, man.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: I like ice cream, you know.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: I can't say no to ice cream or or me too, you know.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: I um I you know, I eat like shit, and I know that I, you know, like because literally my body will feel like shit afterwards, you know, and I'm like, wow, I went overboard.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, what what are what are some of the kind of stuff you do to kind of maybe get back on track to sit here and give yourself the pep talk?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, we had a little couple bumps in the road, but it doesn't have to, we don't have to keep going on this, you know.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: Good question.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I'll catch myself, like I'll eat a huge meal and I'll look at my husband and go, God, I ate a big meal, and he'll look at me and he'll be like, You ate a normal size plate of food.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: You didn't eat in a big meal, you didn't overeat, you had a normal amount of food.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, get it out of your head, you know what I mean?
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes just hearing that other person, or it's not my eating disorder voice, it's someone else that doesn't have an issue with food, go, Yeah, you're fine.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, you know have you had have you had like major relapses?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like were you yeah, oh yeah that people would never know about because I would never talk about Can you would you mind like would you be okay telling us when the last like what you would consider the last major relapse was or is that is that too private?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay if it is.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_03: I just um I would say oh god, well college was bad, and then I would say like after I no, right before I got married.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_03: Right before I got married.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: Really, because I was trying to lose weight to fit in my dress.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta get in the dress.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but so but not nothing, like you've been you've been good then for a good many years though.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I mean like a relapse to a relapse to us is like different, like different than it's it's not like not having a drug, it's like there are certain things that I would do that would I might overeat.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_03: I may not purge, but I still have a compulsion to overeat.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_03: So in my mind, that's it's a relapse.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's a re right.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_03: So it's really like a gray area, and I can't explain it.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost to each their own, right?
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like whatever you like.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: If if Greg and I smoked weed today, like that's a relapse.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a like black and white, dude.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Black and white, you know, mimosas before 11 are fine, obviously, but like um so I guess it's like you said, it's to each their own, like it's different, it could be different for each person struggling with that, what they would consider an actual relapse.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because like you, to your point, it's more of the the relationship with food and the way you think about it, and like maybe you're sneaking around or manipulating rather than just a black and white, like, oh man, I had an extra plate of this, and that's a relapse.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's really screwed up, it's really like it messages.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like scary to me.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's uh like drugs and alcohol.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know my demons, you know, like it's right there.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: I know my demons.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: It it's almost more of a to you and to your point, like everyone's gotta eat, you know.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't eat that whole box of cookies.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: That was Patricia, you know.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: If you ever start having an altered ego that starts eating the food, then we'll really start to worry about.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: We'll call up, we'll call up Chris McKinnall and have him uh there you go exercise some stuff out of you there.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um it's funny though, because I am the probably the lowest weight I've been in over 10 years.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_03: And it's funny because in the back of my mind, I'm always like, are people thinking that I'm like active in my eating disorder?
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, it's it fucks with my head because I'm like, no, I'm busting my ass every day.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_03: I get up at seven and six in the morning, I go to Pilates, I go to the gym with my girlfriend.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like not in the weight loss mode.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in the I need to be strong.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm 44 years old.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want osteoporosis and like I need to be healthy.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_03: So now I'm in a different phase in my head where it's like all about me getting strong.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't care about the number on the scale.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_03: I just want to feel like strong.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I I can tell you that I never once when I've seen you have I ever thought like, oh, she looks too good.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: Is she uh active in her eating disorder?
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I I have noticed like last time, a couple weeks ago, like, yeah, you look great, you know, and you can tell.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: You can tell.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: I know you were talking to my wife about Pilates and stuff like that.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'm obsessed.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_03: I went screen.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_03: Need to get her buttons.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's great, so fun.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um so obviously, you've been producing our shows for quite a few years now.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know that we have a heavy emphasis on the spiritual life.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I know some of your your upbringing and background with that, you know, and in the good old good old Catholic church.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: But um, do you incorporate I want you to talk about your support system, what what you have in your support system today, who you have specifically.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but along with that, like do you incorporate any type of religious or spiritual training or um practices to help you with your addiction?
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, if I can go to church, it's very random.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's random, but I do definitely believe in a higher power.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_03: I also do my EMDR therapy with a therapist.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_03: I go to a psychiatrist.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm very active in trying to figure out things that can help my brain.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um I'm actually I'm starting to, I've never seen a dietitian before, but all my friends that are in recovery that are in behavioral health are like, you should see a dietitian and see like because you've never actually done it.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: So it's something that I'm looking into.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, might as well.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: Now that I'm in like I want to be strong phase of my life, I guess it might be you know something to look into.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um I only I tend to only um eat with people that I'm comfortable with in a social setting because there's certain people in my life that I would say initiated a lot of my trauma when I was younger, certain family members that I don't want to be around and have a meal with.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_03: Like I don't know if it's like that with you with drugs or alcohol, but like someone that just like you're in the same room and you're just like, fuck, I need to I need to get out of here, or some shit's gonna go down.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: There are, I can say that um maybe not so much of like for fear of like, oh my god, I'm gonna be triggered into possible relapse or thinking about it, but I 100% have people in my life that I just personally choose not to be around if I don't have to be, you know.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: I love them, I pray for them, I wish them the best, but I just truly I'm like, I'm good, you know.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I think you just especially in in this realm, I think there's you just outgrow people, and that's not a knock on them per se.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's you know, different wavelengths, man.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: Wish the best for you, but we outgrow you, you know.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: Do you do you go to meetings?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do you go to like recovery meetings like we do?
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: Do you actually like a fellowship kind of?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: I do uh in a fellowship.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um do you mind if I say it?
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or I don't care, I don't care.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't know.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_03: So OA is a great, great um organization.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um OA is you can log on to OA over Eaters Anonymous, and there's a meeting every probably every 15 minutes, to be honest with you, and they're all over the world.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: So like if I go, if I go on and and you sometimes you go into meetings that like some people you don't resonate with, but like I've gone into Australian meetings and they're all over the world.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um that's cool.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of times they're in a church, but most of the time they're online unless you can find one in person.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_03: And there's one that I really, really like.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's an all-women's group and they meet on Wednesday or I'm sorry, Monday nights.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so sometimes I'll like just check in with them.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_03: And these are women that are like a lot older than I am, and they've been in OA for like 20 30 years.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they're sponsors, they sponsor people.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's they go through the whole OA is really centered around AA.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: So OA it's Same exact book, it's the same literature.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it's a 12-step, 12-step fellowship.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, and it's great.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, a lot of people either like it or don't like it.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's great.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_03: I I sometimes I'll do a literature class where we just talk about literature.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then there's actual eating disorder groups that you can join virtually that I've done.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: However, I like OA much better than those groups because when I go into an eating disorder meeting, a lot of it's very triggering because a lot of people are very, very sick on these calls.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: Very, very sick.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I can tell because I've been there and I know that these people are struggling.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not as not as solution-oriented as correct.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, correct.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_03: And it drives me insane.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I tend to steer away from those meetings um because it doesn't really do much for me psychologically.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: It it makes me sad.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like I'm I feel like it's a waste of time for me, like watching someone like active in addiction.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_03: It like, yeah, it's just not where I want to be.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it's like that for you guys when you go to certain types of meetings.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: There's definitely, there's definitely meetings to your point where um it's the sick, it's the sickest of the sick trying to help the sick.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's like correct.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um now sometimes, sometimes like I personally try to incorporate I I only my schedule only allows for maybe two or three of recovery meetings a week.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I try to make I do try to make one of those a meeting that's a little off the hinges, and I try to like be the elder statesman if I can and bring a solution to it.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's it's difficult.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: And for the most part, some of those meetings they just have their own, they just kind of take on their own personality and stuff.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I we know I know exactly what you mean.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's uh there's no shortage of people that piss me off.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: Two of two of the four people on our podcast pretty regularly do.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, real quick, uh, so I guess we can kind of wrap this up and and talk a little bit about podcasting, I think, before we go.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: But obviously, this is Trudge Report, so that hundreds of thousands of people are gonna hear this.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: But let's pretend for a second that we're on we're on Rogan and we can speak to the to the world, to the masses.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you could, you know, if there were something that you could say to someone out there who is struggling with bulimia, anorexia, body dysmorphia, that kind of stuff, or a friend or a family member of those people who could aid in uh helping those people, what is the best way to offer support and what would you say to those people who are actively struggling?
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I would say that my friend and founder of the Alliance for actually it's called the National Alliance for Eating Disorders, but that uh there are resources and places you can go to where sometimes they'll have scholarship.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of times it's insurance-based.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_03: There's dietitians that cover insurance.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: I have insurance that covers EMDR therapy.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: There are so many different so it's not out of pocket, which is like nor normally like three or four hundred dollars a session.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, I bet you that shit's expensive because that's the way society is.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_03: Totally.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_03: So, like there are resources, you just have to seek them out to be able to feel like you're not isolated.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_03: But where there's a will, there's a way, there's definite resources.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_03: And don't feel like you're alone.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_03: There's so many people that struggle that never come forward and say it.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: And what about for like the families, though, too?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is like, so for example, I've talked about it a lot, Sean's talked about it a lot too.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, tough love is what saved our lives, right?
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: Where it was like, you know, basically, you know, you got you gotta go.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: We we we don't want anything more to do with you.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Go get help, uh, you know, or don't.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's on you, but you gotta go.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, with something like this, it's uh it's a little bit more delicate, it's a little bit more sensitive, and you can't just be like, like you've mentioned before, well, you gotta stop eating, or you gotta stop, you know, uh throwing up, or you know, whatever the case may be.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's it's different.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, what would you say to those people that are trying to help their family member but don't really know how to?
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think it depends on the age.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_03: I think if a girl is younger or a or a guy is younger and they're living in their house with their parent, the parent really needs to pay attention to who their kid is hanging out with.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_03: Are they hanging if if is their 14-year-old hanging out with a group of girls who think they're the mean girls in school and you know, want to be prom queen and want to do everything they can to look quote perfect?
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what's the self-talk that they're saying to themselves?
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like if they're is their teenager going, God, I'm so fat, or God, I wish I looked like so and so, or they're spending like we didn't have social media growing up, but like, are they spending X amount of time looking at body image things online?
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: There's there's certain signs, and I think that parents are so busy in their own lives that they stop being parents when those critical years are when eating disorders tend to start that they need to pay attention to a lot of people.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_01: What's kind of the average age that they start if there is one?
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like I'm not sure exactly, but yeah, teenage years is typically like when that starts.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, is your kid bullied in school because they're overweight?
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's a red flag because if they're bullied in school, what are they what are they doing behind closed doors?
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: Is that gonna trigger something for them?
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_03: Parents really have to pay attention and not shame their child for having those thoughts.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_03: There's a lot of trauma behind it, and so I think parents just dismiss it as it's not something mentally wrong with them.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_03: They just think they're fat, and it has nothing to do with that, it goes way deeper.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I can't tell you honestly how enlightening this was just for me personally, though.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I knew a little bit about it from listening to that other show and talking to you, but I I a lot of stuff, a lot of similarities, you're right, with addiction recovery.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I'll tell you what, a lot of differences and some some major ones that uh, and I mean this with all respect and grace, is like I'm grateful to have addiction.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm grateful to, like I said, I know my demons.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm I'm in a lot of ways grateful.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that doesn't mean that I I you know wish anything upon anybody else, but it's like to deal with that, it's it's uh insidious is the words that kept coming to me.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like it just kind of slithers its way in like a snake.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate very much your openness and being willing to share that.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's funny you you were saying they have all these like rehabs and dietitians nowadays.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: I get on my Indeed account, I'm not sure why it pings, but there's a local drug and alcohol rehab near us in Martin County that just opened up uh like an eating disorder side of things, and they've been they've been advertising for for you know therapists specifically with you know eating disorder backgrounds and stuff.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: And um, my wife actually knows someone who works in that industry and is also in recovery and has spoken at a rehab.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um she's spoken more from the addiction side of things, but um, so I can't thank you enough.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to say thank you for being brave and honest and um carrying a message of positivity for those who struggle with that.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's what got me into podcasting ultimately.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_01: Putting your voice out there.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, sometimes you feel silenced and you feel alone, and I've said more things on podcast than probably that I've said to my best friends, just because you feel like you're on a platform to where everyone in the world is going to hear you.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_03: So if you can help anybody just by saying one thing that could help someone find a resource, it is so it is so powerful.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_03: The brain is a powerful thing.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_03: And what we tell ourselves and what people tell ourselves, there's so many things out there that can that can help.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_03: People just don't know them.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_03: So um, but yeah, podcasting is a way that you can interact with other people and like-minded people and share your story.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I love what I do, I love my clients.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_03: I I think um podcasting has given me a voice definitely when I felt that I, you know, for sure maybe was silenced.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and so I think it's important, like uh podcasts such as you and what you're doing for the community, it is so important to let people know that hey, things aren't perfect.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_03: We've struggled, we've been there, but there is help if you want to get help.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to like change your life and get healthy in whatever capacity, you know, people can always reach out to me.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I know so many people in this genre of of recovery.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_03: There's inpatient treatment, there's also outpatient treatment that you can do virtually.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_03: There's so many different things now that are available today that were not available 25 years ago.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's I mean, that's ultimately why the four of us got going on this, is we wanted to get, you know, help people in recovery.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we wanted to talk football and all that stuff too, but really and truly, we we realized that like what do we know best is addiction recovery.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: So um, so we only have a few minutes left, and I did want to touch on just a little bit about the podcast industry because I I personally find it fascinating.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: I find your story fascinating.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, my financial planner is who you hooked us up with.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: Miss shout out to Sabrina at Northwestern Mutual, no free ads, but shout out to Sabrina.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: Still in touch.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, she's helped us with all the kids.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we still have plenty of stuff with her.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_01: I have multiple.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_02: She's an awesome lady.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_02: All my stuff with her.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you hooked us up with her, so thank you.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: So you already kind of told us a little bit about why you decided to get into podcast management.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, walk us through real quick what your like give your your company a shout out.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_01: What is a full service podcast management actually look like behind the scenes?
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: What do you offer?
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you if you can distill that to like quick two minutes.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've got a down pat at this point.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's full service podcast management, meaning that we take all the hard parts out of podcasting for people.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_03: So when it comes to recording, editing, doing social media clips, uh for reels, for distribution, for publishing, we do all the hard parts so that people can just focus on their content and record.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_03: And then we do all the back-end stuff.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_03: You know, what's an RSS feed?
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_03: What's a hosting platform?
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_03: How does someone listen to a podcast?
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_03: Every day, I still get people that are like, How do I listen to your show?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_03: They still don't know like how to listen on Apple Podcast.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_03: They don't, a lot of people don't even realize that Apple Podcasts is on their phone typically when they get their iPhone, they don't even know that it that it's on there.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_03: So a lot of my job is educating people on where they can actually listen to one.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but also planning content strategy, uh long-term it's it's definitely it's a it's a crawl walk-run scenario.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's not a everyone wants to be a Joe Rogan get rich quick scenario.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's you you you you're consistent, and the more consistent you are and the more longevity you have with your show, the more it evolves and changes, and you take different pivots and you talk about different things, and it's like a living, breathing thing.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_03: So you just kind of grow with it.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of cool.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: I I remember you telling us that when we first started, like you were like, Yeah, you think Joe Rogan got like, no, he he it took him like 20 years to get as famous as he did.
• 56:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I I'll I'll always remember that because that gives that gives me hope.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: We got like 17 and a half more to go, Greg.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_03: It takes it takes time.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_03: And um, just to touch on because I know I didn't want to talk too much about monetization, but there's so many ways to monetize podcasting.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I I want people to know that you can if you if you're serious about doing podcasts, and especially with what we do at Stellamix, it's an investment in yourself, but it's also it's it's a marketing tool for your business.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_03: There's so many ways that you can utilize a podcast.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_03: And in 2026, I feel like people are missing the boat if even if they don't have one, but if they haven't guested on one to highlight their business or promote themselves, people should naturally be comfortable talking about what they do and what they're passionate about.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_03: And if they're not, there's so many coaches that can help people get over that hurdle, but it's super important.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's helpful with clarity and confidence and all kinds of skills, public speaking.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_03: There's so many things that this is helpful for that people should give it a shot.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: Agreed.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: Greg, you got anything else you want to touch on?
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_01: We still got a few minutes.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: What's what's your favorite podcast?
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's a good question.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_03: My clients asked me.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_01: Besides ours, obviously.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: Besides ours.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, naturally.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's such a good you know what people ask me that.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um I I couldn't answer.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_03: You know what it is?
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_03: I love all of the the shows that I produce so much that I I guess I would say if it weren't one of my clients, I would say like Jay She's on purpose.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_03: I really think he's great.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um also, I mean, Mel Robbins is phenomenal.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_03: She's brought so much Emma Greed.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_03: Emma Greed is great.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, there's a lot of different podcasts out there that are really making headway, especially for women, um, to be well known.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_03: But I like to be educated when I listen to podcasts.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's my biggest thing.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_03: I don't tend to gravitate towards podcasts that are like pop culture.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_03: I like to learn something.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_03: If I'm investing the time to listen, I want to learn something about, and that's just me.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_03: I like educational things, I like self-help things, I love true crime.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_03: I could watch Dateline 24 hours a day.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I guess it just depends on like what your interests are, you know.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: So so last question then, what is the biggest issue or issues that you see with podcasts that don't make it?
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what's the key to success in your mind?
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like you said, it's a slow craw crawl, walk, run.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_01: But what's the what's the what's the biggest thing that happens that podcasts fail?
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_03: Uh consistency.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, thinking that they're gonna get rich overnight.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, not making it past the 10th episode, which statistically shows that if you don't make it past the 10th episode, a lot of times 90% of podcasts fail.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_03: Because after the 10th episode, people people know that it's work.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's not easy to do what you do every week.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_03: It takes planning, it takes strategy, it takes uh planning with your co-hosts, if you have a co-host, um, research on your topic.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's not an easy thing, it's almost like a part-time job.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_03: And if people aren't willing to put in that time and effort into it, I think they'll get into it and do a couple of episodes and then realize this may not be for me.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_03: And then they just stop.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_03: But if people really want to use it as a passion project or a vehicle that they're getting a message that they're passionate about, they just have to keep going.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_03: Even when they don't feel like recording, they need to say, I didn't feel like showing up today, but I'm recording because I think it's it's people need to hear this.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_03: You just have to keep going with it.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_03: Don't give up, don't give up ever.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, Greg, that that makes me happy because I'm I'm pretty sure we've released an episode once per week since we started this whole deal.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_01: There was a few times where we sat and recorded two or three at a time and you know, released them each week, but I'm pretty that's pretty cool.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that's good.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_03: You guys are consistent AF stuff.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_01: Very good.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_01: Janine, um, love you dearly.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for for coming on, um, for sharing that stuff and and just being honest and open.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I do know that somebody somebody has been or will be helped um from this episode.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you guys so much for having me on.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you for being here.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for being our producer and editor and everything.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: The the wonderful, lovely Janine Stella.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_01: And shout out to Roy.
• 1:01:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is Roy, if Roy's around, hey Roy.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, he waved.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to our listeners.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_01: Please like, follow, and share on all socials at TrudgeReport Pod.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_01: Email us, TrudgeReportPod at yahoo.com.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: Send in your mailbag request for topics, questions, comments to any of these handles.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, we are all here if anyone wants to talk about recovery and our experiences, or if you're struggling with some form, any form of addiction.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you again to Janine and Stella Mix Podcast Management.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_01: Good night, God bless.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: Trudge the road of happy destiny.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you next week.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.