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05 - Mark Twain; his life and work. A biographical sketch by William M. Clemens · Mark Twain; his life and work. A biographical sketch

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  Speaker 1: This is chapter five of Mark Twain, His Life and Work,
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  Speaker 1: a biographical sketch by William M. Clemens. This LibriVox recording
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  Speaker 1: is in the public domain. Chapter five, his First literary Success,
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  Speaker 1: read by John Greenman. During the following winter, Mark Twain
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  Speaker 1: sojourned at the National Capital, working at odd moments upon
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  Speaker 1: the initial chapter of his Innocence Abroad. His bohemian habits
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  Speaker 1: were retained in every particular. At least the statement is
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  Speaker 1: warranted by a friend who writes of Mark's life at
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  Speaker 1: this time. His room was a perfect chaos, his table
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  Speaker 1: a curiosity in its way. On it could be seen
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  Speaker 1: anything from soiled manuscript to old boots. He never laid
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  Speaker 1: his paper on the table when writing, partly because there
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  Speaker 1: was no available space, and partly because of the position
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  Speaker 1: so necessity was too much for his lazy bones. With
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  Speaker 1: both feet plunged in manuscript chair tilted back, and notebook
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  Speaker 1: and pencil in hand, he did all the writing I
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  Speaker 1: ever saw him do. An ordinary atmosphere would not suffice
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  Speaker 1: to set in motion the stream of Mark's ideas. It
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  Speaker 1: must first be thoroughly saturated with the violest tobacco smoke,
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  Speaker 1: which he puffed from a villainous pipe, said pipe, having
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  Speaker 1: never received a cleaning, As many newspaper friends of those
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  Speaker 1: days can testify, he regarded this pipe as his salvation
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  Speaker 1: from boores, taking a ghastly delight in puffing away like
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  Speaker 1: a locomotive when an undesirable visitor dropped in and eagerly
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  Speaker 1: watching the paleness, which gradually crept over the face of
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  Speaker 1: the enemy as the poisonous stuff got in its work.
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  Speaker 1: One day, while Mark was busily engaged with his work
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  Speaker 1: in his dingy little room, a tall, sallow faced man
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  Speaker 1: with a miserable expression of countenance and a deep consumptive
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  Speaker 1: cough entered the room and, without an invitation, sat down.
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  Speaker 1: Turning to the visitor, Clemens said, well. The visitor said, well,
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  Speaker 1: what can I do for you? Asked the humorist, Well,
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  Speaker 1: nothing in particular. I heard him say that you are
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  Speaker 1: the man that writes funny things, And as I have
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  Speaker 1: several hours to loaf around before the train leaves, I
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  Speaker 1: thought I would come around and get you to make
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  Speaker 1: me laugh a little. I ain't had a good laugh
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  Speaker 1: and many a day, and I didn't know, but what
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  Speaker 1: h bout accommodate me? Clemens scowled at the man, who,
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  Speaker 1: thinking that the humorist was presenting him with a specimen
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  Speaker 1: of facial fun, began to titter. I'll do first rate, captain,
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  Speaker 1: but i'd rather hear you talk. I can make a
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  Speaker 1: mouth at a man about as easy as any fellow
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  Speaker 1: you ever saw. And what I want is a few
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  Speaker 1: words from you that'll joke me like a wagon that
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  Speaker 1: had back to give me, my friend. I am very
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  Speaker 1: busy today, and yes I know all that. I am
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  Speaker 1: very busy myself, except that I've got about two hours
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  Speaker 1: to loaf. And as I said just now, i'd like
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  Speaker 1: for you to get off something that I can take home. Why,
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  Speaker 1: I can go round and get the drinks on it
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  Speaker 1: for a week. Won't you have a cigar? Asked Clemens,
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  Speaker 1: desirous of learning whether the man was a smoker. No,
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  Speaker 1: I never could stand a cigar. The humorous smiled, and,
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  Speaker 1: taking up his pipe, filled it up with strong tobacco,
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  Speaker 1: and began to puff. I'll keep him in here now,
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  Speaker 1: mused the until he is as sick as a dog.
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  Speaker 1: I wouldn't consent to his departure. If he was to
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  Speaker 1: get down on his knees and pray for deliverance. Nothing
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  Speaker 1: does a man more good A hearty laugh, the visitor said,
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  Speaker 1: coughing as a cloud of smoke surrounded his head. Wow,
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  Speaker 1: what don't you think it is a little close in here? Oh? No,
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  Speaker 1: replied Mark, arising and locking the door. I like a
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  Speaker 1: little fresh air, especially when there's so much smoke in
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  Speaker 1: a room. Oh, there's air enough here. How did you
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  Speaker 1: leave all the folks? Well, Gabe, my youngest, I ain't
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  Speaker 1: as pert as he mote be, but all the others
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  Speaker 1: are steering. He ain't got no chilling, I reckon, No,
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  Speaker 1: the humorous replied, as he vigorously puffed his pipe. Well,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sorry for you. There ain't nothing that adds to
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  Speaker 1: a man's natural enjoyment like children. That boy, Gabe, what
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  Speaker 1: I was talking about? Just now? Why I wouldn't give
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  Speaker 1: him up for the finest yoke steers you've ever seen?
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  Speaker 1: You wouldn't, No, Sir, wouldn't touch him. A ten foot
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  Speaker 1: pole would refuse him? Pine blank, pardon, don't you? I
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  Speaker 1: think it's getting a little too a cluster in here,
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  Speaker 1: Now go not a bit just right. Well, I don't
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  Speaker 1: know the style in this place, but I'll try and
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  Speaker 1: put up with it. After a moment's silence, The visitor continued.
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  Speaker 1: When I left home, h that's my wife, he said
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  Speaker 1: to me, says she, Now say while you're there, don't
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  Speaker 1: smoke that cob pipe. I wanted to follow her advice,
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  Speaker 1: but I put my old fuzzy in my jeans. Now
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  Speaker 1: I believe I'll take a smoke. He took out a
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  Speaker 1: cob pipe and a twist of new tobacco, known in
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  Speaker 1: his neighborhood as tough Sam, whittled off a handful, filled
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  Speaker 1: his pipe, lighted it, placed his feet on the stove,
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  Speaker 1: and went to work. Mark soon began to snuff the
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  Speaker 1: foul air, but he was determined to stand it. The
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  Speaker 1: visitor blew smoke like a tar kiln. Mark grew restless.
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  Speaker 1: Beads of cold perspiration began to gather on his brow.
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  Speaker 1: Throwing down his pipe, he hastily unlocked the door and
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  Speaker 1: fled on the sidewalk. He met a friend, Hello, clemmens,
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  Speaker 1: what's the matter, Twain related what had occurred? Oh you
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  Speaker 1: mean that fellow in brown jeans. Yes, you ought to
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  Speaker 1: have had a better sense than to light your pipe
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  Speaker 1: in his presence. Why, Because he's a member of the
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  Speaker 1: Arkansas legislature. William M. Stewart, United States senator from Nevada,
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  Speaker 1: was in acquaintance of the humorist at this time and
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  Speaker 1: some years since. While in a reminiscent, Mood related the following.
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  Speaker 1: I knew Mark Twain in Washington at a time when
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  Speaker 1: he was without money. He told me his condition and
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  Speaker 1: said he was very anxious to get out his book.
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  Speaker 1: He showed me his notes, and I saw that they
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  Speaker 1: would make a great book and probably bring him in
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  Speaker 1: a fortune. I promised that I would stake him until
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  Speaker 1: he had the book written. I made him a clerk
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  Speaker 1: to my committee in the Senate, which paid him six
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  Speaker 1: dollars per day. Then I hired a man for one
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  Speaker 1: hundred dollars per month to do the work. I then
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  Speaker 1: had rooms on f Street in a house which was
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  Speaker 1: kept by an ancient lady. She belonged to an old
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  Speaker 1: Southern family whose property was lost during the War of
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  Speaker 1: the Rebellion. I had three large rooms on the second floor,
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  Speaker 1: and there was also a hall room. I was very
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  Speaker 1: anxious that Sam should stick to his work until he fit,
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  Speaker 1: as I was almost as much interested as he. I
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  Speaker 1: took him to live with me and gave him the
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  Speaker 1: hall room to sleep in. He did his work in
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  Speaker 1: the room, which I had fixed up as a study.
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  Speaker 1: He would work during the day, and in the evening
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  Speaker 1: he would read me what he had written, after which
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  Speaker 1: he would stroll out about the city for recreation. He
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  Speaker 1: usually returned to his hall bedroom about midnight and would
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  Speaker 1: sit up until early morning, reading, smoking, whistling, and singing.
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  Speaker 1: His noise used to be a source of great annoyance
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  Speaker 1: to the landlady. She was very nervous and unable to
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  Speaker 1: sleep when any gas was burning in the house. She
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  Speaker 1: regarded Sam as a very careless fellow, and I don't
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  Speaker 1: think she liked him very well. She came to see
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  Speaker 1: me one morning with her eyes swollen, her appearance altogether
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  Speaker 1: betokening a very dilapidated condition. She said she had been
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  Speaker 1: unable to sleep all night, and that in fact, for
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  Speaker 1: a week she had been losing sleep. Sam was the
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  Speaker 1: cause of all her trouble, and she told me how
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  Speaker 1: he remained up all the night, burning gas and creating
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  Speaker 1: a rumpus. I informed Sam of the landlady's complaint and
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  Speaker 1: told him he ought to go to bed at a
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  Speaker 1: reasonable hour and not frighten the old lady. Sam replied
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  Speaker 1: that that was all the fun he had, but he
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  Speaker 1: promised to mend his ways, and I thought no more
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  Speaker 1: of the matter. In a week, the landlady came to
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  Speaker 1: me again, and this time with tears in her eyes.
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  Speaker 1: She said she knew she was receiving a very handsome
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  Speaker 1: rent from me for the rooms, and that she also
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  Speaker 1: was aware she could not rent them again during the season,
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  Speaker 1: but she was compelled to ask me to give them
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  Speaker 1: up on account of the way mister Clemmons was wearing
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  Speaker 1: her life out. I felt truly sorry for the old lady.
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  Speaker 1: I called Sam in and repeated to him what the
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  Speaker 1: landlady had said. I told him I would thrash him
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  Speaker 1: if I ever heard another complaint. I said. I did
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  Speaker 1: not want to turn him out. I wanted him to
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  Speaker 1: finish his book. He made one of his smart replies
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  Speaker 1: at the expense of the landlady, and I told him
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  Speaker 1: I would thrash him then and there he begged in
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  Speaker 1: a most pitiful way for me not to do so,
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  Speaker 1: and I could not help laughing, seeing that he had
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  Speaker 1: gotten me into a good humor again. He said that
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  Speaker 1: he would not annoy the old lady again, but that
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  Speaker 1: he would certainly get even with me for having threatened
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  Speaker 1: to thrash him if it took him ten years to
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  Speaker 1: do so. During the winter spent in Washington, Mark wrote
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  Speaker 1: many newspaper letters and a large number of short humorous articles.
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  Speaker 1: These include facts in the Case of the Great Beef
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  Speaker 1: Contract and the account of his resignation as Clerk of
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  Speaker 1: the Senate Committee on Concology. He also wrote Riley newspaper Correspondent,
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  Speaker 1: which attracted a vast amount of attention and was liberally quoted.
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  Speaker 1: In March eighteen sixty eight, he sailed for San Francisco
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  Speaker 1: for the purpose of arranging some trivial business matter on
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  Speaker 1: the Pacific coast. He was absent about five months, returning
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  Speaker 1: to New York about August. While in California and on
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  Speaker 1: board the steamship en route, he completed the manuscript of
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  Speaker 1: His Innocence Abroad, or The New Pilgrim's Progress. Meanwhile, the
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  Speaker 1: San Francisco Alta had secured copyright upon mister Clemens's letters
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  Speaker 1: from the Holy Land. General John MacComb, always the friend
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  Speaker 1: of the struggling author, finally persuaded his partners in the
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  Speaker 1: ALTA office to surrender the copyright, and Mark Twain became
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  Speaker 1: the owner of the innocence abroad in New York. Upon
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  Speaker 1: his return from San Francisco, he resumed his newspaper correspondence,
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  Speaker 1: and in a letter to the Chicago Republican dated New
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  Speaker 1: York August seventeenth, eighteen sixty eight, he devoted three columns
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  Speaker 1: to an account of his return voyage from California. He
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  Speaker 1: carefully reviewed the matter of California immigration changes that had
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  Speaker 1: taken place in San Francisco since his previous visit. He
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  Speaker 1: described the Panama Canal and vividly portrayed life and character
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  Speaker 1: in Central America. Here's an amusing extract from his letter.
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  Speaker 1: Possibly you know that they have a revolution in Central America.
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  Speaker 1: Every time the moon changes, all you have to do
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  Speaker 1: is to get out in the street in Panama or
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  Speaker 1: aspen Wall and give a whoop, and the thing is done.
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  Speaker 1: Shout down with the administration and up with somebody else,
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  Speaker 1: and the revolution follows. Nine tenths of the people break
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  Speaker 1: for home, slam the doors behind them, and get under
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  Speaker 1: the bed. The other tenth go and overturn the government
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  Speaker 1: and banish the officials from president down to notary public.
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  Speaker 1: Then for the next thirty day they inquire anxiously of
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  Speaker 1: all commers wants sort of a stir their little shivalry
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  Speaker 1: made in Europe and America. By that time, the next
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  Speaker 1: revolution is ready to be touched off, and out they go.
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  Speaker 1: From this letter it appears that he had visited Hartford,
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  Speaker 1: where in the Golden Future he was to take up
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  Speaker 1: his permanent residence. In closing the letter to the Chicago Republican,
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  Speaker 1: he wrote, I have been about ten days in Hartford,
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  Speaker 1: and shall return there before very long. I think it
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  Speaker 1: must be the handsomest city in the Union. In summer.
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  Speaker 1: It is the moneyed center of the state, and one
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  Speaker 1: of its capitals. Also, for Connecticut is so law abiding
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  Speaker 1: and so addicted to law, that there is not enough
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  Speaker 1: room in one city to manufacture all of the articles.
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  Speaker 1: Hartford is the place where the insurance companies all live.
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  Speaker 1: They use some of the houses for dwellings, the others
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  Speaker 1: are for insurance offices, so it is easy to see
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  Speaker 1: that there is quite a spirit of speculative enterprise there.
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  Speaker 1: Many of the inhabitants have retired from business, but the
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  Speaker 1: others labor along in the old customary way as presidents
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  Speaker 1: of insurance companies. In eighteen sixty eight sixty nine, Clemens
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  Speaker 1: was living at the Everett House in New York City.
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  Speaker 1: Having completed his innocence abroad, he looked about for a publisher.
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  Speaker 1: His visit to Hartford early in August was for the
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  Speaker 1: purpose of conferring with a publisher there, but he had
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  Speaker 1: met with but little encouragement. He next tried a dozen
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  Speaker 1: publishing houses in New York, but in vain. He sent
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  Speaker 1: his manuscript to other publishers in Boston and Philadelphi with
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  Speaker 1: like success. Somewhat disheartened, he laid the book away in
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  Speaker 1: his room. One day he was entertaining the late Albert D.
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  Speaker 1: Richardson in his apartment. In a self disgusted mood, he
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  Speaker 1: handed Richardson his manuscript to see if his friend thought
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  Speaker 1: it so irredeemably bad. Richardson read it, pronounced it very clever,
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  Speaker 1: full of the extravagant drollery which the American people relish,
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  Speaker 1: and expressed his astonishment that any publisher of intelligence and
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  Speaker 1: experience should have declined it. You can't be any more
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  Speaker 1: astonished than I am, remarked Clemons dryly. These publishers have
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  Speaker 1: astonished as much conceit out of me as a long
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  Speaker 1: siege of sea sickness. Richardson who had published several books
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  Speaker 1: through the American Publishing Company, said that he was going
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  Speaker 1: to Hartford, that he would take the manuscript with him,
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  Speaker 1: and that he was sure the company would be glad
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  Speaker 1: to plish it. He kept his promise and placed the
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  Speaker 1: manuscript in the hands of mister Bliss, then secretary of
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  Speaker 1: the company, who was pleased with it. But some of
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  Speaker 1: the other officers and directors were averse and made so
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  Speaker 1: many objections that Bliss finally declared that he would publish
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  Speaker 1: the volume on his own account. This caused some of
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  Speaker 1: the others to yield, and Innocence Abroad was issued, but
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  Speaker 1: under protest and many misgivings as to its financial success.
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  Speaker 1: The result is well known. The book made Mark Twain famous.
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  Speaker 1: The sale, including pirated editions, reached two hundred thousand copies.
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  Speaker 1: The American Company cleared in the neighborhood of seventy five
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  Speaker 1: thousand dollars. By the publication, Mark was crazed with joy.
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  Speaker 1: He wrote to his old friend Captain Bixby of the
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  Speaker 1: steamboat Paul Jones, thirty tons of paper have been used
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  Speaker 1: in publishing my book, Innocence Abroad. It has met with
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  Speaker 1: a greater sale than any book ever published, except Uncle
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  Speaker 1: Tom's Cabin. The volumes sell from three dollars to five
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  Speaker 1: dollars according to Finish, and I get one half the
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  Speaker 1: prophet Not so bad for a scrub pilot, is it?
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  Speaker 1: How do you run plumb point? A son of a
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  Speaker 1: gun of a place? I would rather be a pilot
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  Speaker 1: than anything I ever tried. The London Saturday Review of
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  Speaker 1: October eighth, eighteen sixty nine reviewed Innocence Abroad at great length,
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  Speaker 1: along with other volumes, as a book of travel. The
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  Speaker 1: review was written most seriously, and one could imagine the
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  Speaker 1: delight of the humorist in reading this tribute to his power.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, the review so amused Mark Twain that he
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  Speaker 1: himself wrote along burlesque on the Saturday Review criticism, in
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  Speaker 1: which he said, to say that Innocence Abroad is a
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  Speaker 1: curious book would be to use the faintest language, would
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  Speaker 1: be to speak of the matterhorn as a neat elevation,
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  Speaker 1: or of Niagara's being nice or pretty. Curious is too
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  Speaker 1: tame a word wherewith to describe the imposing insanity of
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  Speaker 1: this work, there is no word that is large enough
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  Speaker 1: or long enough. Let us therefore photograph a passing glimpse
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  Speaker 1: of book and author, and trust the rest to the reader.
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  Speaker 1: Let the cultivated English student of human nature picture to himself.
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  Speaker 1: This mark Twain as a person capable of doing the
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  Speaker 1: following described things, and not only doing them, but with
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  Speaker 1: incredible innocence printing them calmly andqually. In a book. For instance,
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  Speaker 1: he states that he entered a hair dresser's in Paris
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  Speaker 1: to get shaved, and the first rake the barber dave
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  Speaker 1: with his razor. It loosened his hide and lifted him
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  Speaker 1: out of the chair. This is unquestionably exaggerated. In Florence,
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  Speaker 1: he was so annoyed by beggars that he pretends to
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  Speaker 1: have seized and eaten one in a frantic spirit of revenge.
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  Speaker 1: There is, of course no truth in this. He gives
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  Speaker 1: at full length a theatrical program seventeen or eighteen hundred
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  Speaker 1: years old, which he professes to have found in the
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: ruins of the Colosseum, among the dirt and mold and rubbish.
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  Speaker 1: It is a sufficient comment upon this statement to remark
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  Speaker 1: that even a cast iron program would not have lasted
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  Speaker 1: so long under the circumstances in Greece. He plainly betrays
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  Speaker 1: both fright and flight upon one occasion, but with frozen
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: effrontery puts the latter in this falsely tame form. We
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: sidled towards the purious sidled. Indeed, he did not hesitate
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  Speaker 1: to intimate that at Ephesus, when his mules strayed from
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  Speaker 1: the proper course, he got down, took him under his arm,
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  Speaker 1: carried him to the road, again, pointed him right, remounted,
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  Speaker 1: and went to sleep contentedly till it was time to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: restore the beast to the path. Once more, he states
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  Speaker 1: that a growing youth among his ship's passengers was in
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  Speaker 1: the constant habit of appeasing his hunger with soap and
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  Speaker 1: oakum between meals. In Palestine, he tells of ants that
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  Speaker 1: came eleven miles to spend the summer in the desert,
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  Speaker 1: and brought their provisions with them. Yet he shows by
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  Speaker 1: his description of the country that the feat was an impossibility.
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  Speaker 1: He mentions, as if it were the most commonplace matter,
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  Speaker 1: that he cut a Moslem in two in broad daylight
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  Speaker 1: in Jerusalem with Godfrey de Bouillon's sword, and would have
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  Speaker 1: shed more blood if he had had a graveyard of
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  Speaker 1: his own. These statements are unworthy a moment's attention, Mister
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  Speaker 1: Twain or any other foreigner who did such a thing
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  Speaker 1: in Jerusalem would be mobbed and would infallibly lose his life.
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  Speaker 1: But why go on, why repeat more of his adacious
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  Speaker 1: and exasperating falsehoods? Let us close fittingly with this one.
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  Speaker 1: He affirms that in the Mosque of Saint Sophia at Constantinople,
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  Speaker 1: I got my feet so stuck up with a complication
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  Speaker 1: of gums, slime, and general impunity, that I wore out
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  Speaker 1: more than two thousand pair of boot jacks getting my
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  Speaker 1: boots off that night, and even then some Christian hide
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  Speaker 1: peeled off with them. It is monstrous. Such statements are
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: simply lies. There is no other name for them. Will
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: the reader longer marvel at the brutal ignorance that pervades
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: the American nation? In another place, he commits the bald
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: absurdity of putting the phrase tarnouns into an Italian mouth.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: In Rome, he unhesitatingly believes the legend that Saint Philip
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Nery's heart was so inflamed with divine love that it
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: burst his ribs. Believes it wholly because an author with
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: a learned list of university degrees strung after his name
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: endorses it. Otherwise, says the gentle idiot, I should have
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: felt a curiosity to know what Philip had for dinner.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Our author makes a long, fatiguing journey to the Grotto
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: del Cane on purpose to test its poisoning powers on
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: a dog, got elaborately ready for the experiment, and then
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: discovered that he had no dog. A wiser person would
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: have kept such a thing discreetly to himself, But with
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: this harmless creature everything comes out. He hurts his foot
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: in a rut two thousand years old in exhumed POMPEII,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: and presently, when staring at one of the cinder like
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: corpses unearthed in the next square, conceives the idea that
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: maybe it is the remains of the ancient street commissioner,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: and straightway his horror softens down to a sort of
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: chirpy contentment with the condition of things. We have thus
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: spoken freely of this man's stupefying simplicity and innocence, but
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: we cannot deal similarly with his colossal ignorance. We do
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: not know where to begin, and if we knew where
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: to begin, we certainly should not know where to leave off.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: We will give one specimen, and one only. He did
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: not know until he got to Rome that Michael Angelo
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: was dead. And then, instead of crawling away and hiding
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: his shameful ignorance somewhere, he proceeds to express his pious,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: grateful sort of satisfaction that he is gone and out
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: of his troubles. No, the reader may seek out the
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: author's exhibitions of his uncultivation of himself. The book is
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: absolutely dangerous, considering the magnitude and variety of its misstatements,
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: and yet it is a textbook in the schools of America,
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: even in our own country. Innocence Abroad had its curious adventures.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: In Pennsylvania, a rural clergyman sadly returned the volume to
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: the book agent with a remark that the man who
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: could shed tears over the tomb of Adam must be
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: an idiot. End of chapter five, read by John Greenman.