Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 60

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The Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 60 · Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe

• 0:00
  All right, Hammer and Hank, have I hit the button?
• 0:02
  Would you be ready to begin the show? Yeah. All
• 0:06
  right, let's go. You're listening to The Hammer
• 0:09
  and Hank Show with Henry Oaks and Ryan Hoppy.
• 0:43
  What up, Hammer and Hank? How you doing, buddy?
• 0:49
  I'm doing good. How are you doing? Doing good.
• 0:54
  What you been up to this week? Not too much.
• 0:58
  Nothing at all? Not even one thing? I was doing,
• 1:03
  I was watching my dog Marty. How was that? Extremely
• 1:08
  good, buddy. What was the best part about watching
• 1:11
  Marty? Watching Disney Juniors. What's your favorite
• 1:16
  show on there? Super Cunies. I love Super Cunies.
• 1:23
  It's a great show. I watched it the other day
• 1:25
  when I was stunned as hell, which is me all the
• 1:29
  time right now. And I'm telling you, man, it's
• 1:31
  got some good plot lines. For a show about super
• 1:34
  kitties, it's not bad. Agree? Agreed. Hank, what
• 1:40
  is your radio memory of the week? When I visited
• 1:45
  a radio station called KKIQ way back in 1992.
• 1:52
  How was that? I'm sorry. What did you do there?
• 1:55
  Did you get a blowjob there? It was an open house.
• 2:00
  How did that go? Was it good? My mama was very,
• 2:05
  very good. What was the best part about it? Was
• 2:08
  there good food? Good conversation? Did you meet
• 2:12
  any of the DJs you liked at Hammer and Hank?
• 2:15
  Dewey Deppish, Mark Davis, Sean D 'Angelo. Oh,
• 2:18
  you met all of them. That's good. It's always
• 2:20
  good when you meet people you like listening
• 2:23
  to. It's always a good vibe. Any other radio
• 2:28
  memories? Yes. Go on. When I met my buddy. Monica
• 2:37
  Dorado at the Sound Factory for the first time.
• 2:39
  Oh, yeah. I used to work on a radio show called
• 2:42
  Migs and Swig. Benjamin Heldfund, a .k .a. Swig,
• 2:45
  owned that nightclub. Do you remember that name?
• 2:48
  Yes. Yes, I used to work on his radio show. Get
• 2:53
  that jack off to Monica. Good to know. Good to
• 2:59
  know. Thank you for that info. Because. Pretending
• 3:04
  I was hugging and kissing Monica? My dick would
• 3:07
  get big. Oh, Jesus Christ. We had a discussion
• 3:13
  with our program director Alex at Hot 97 .7 and
• 3:18
  we want Hank to be a little more raunchy after
• 3:20
  last week's show and this is him bringing the
• 3:22
  raunch. Hank, I'm a single man. Give me some
• 3:29
  dating advice. My dating advice to you is Go
• 3:33
  out. I'm trying to get out and meet some lovely
• 3:37
  fucking females. It's so cute hearing you swear.
• 3:42
  What type of lovely female would you want? A
• 3:46
  Hispanic female between the ages of 25 and 16.
• 3:51
  It's quite the age range. It's pretty much the
• 3:55
  age range of this show. Who does she need to
• 3:58
  look like? Very, very, very attractive. Yeah,
• 4:05
  like, is there a certain celebrity you would
• 4:08
  want the woman to look like? Sabrina Condor,
• 4:13
  fucking Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera. I
• 4:18
  love hearing you swear. It's so adorable. Is
• 4:21
  it because Alex told us to swear a little more
• 4:23
  that you're bringing it on? I think so. I love
• 4:27
  it. Hammer and egg. Let me see here. What have
• 4:31
  we got on the prep sheet? If I hit the music,
• 4:34
  it's on me. If I hit the music, you want to do
• 4:37
  the jokes? Yeah. Let me go. Hank's joke hitting
• 4:44
  like a thumper from the trunk. Punch lines cracking
• 4:46
  louder than a cat. No punk. Ryan Hoppy rides
• 4:49
  shotgun with oak. Topping these last crew never
• 4:52
  going broke. It's a Hammer and Hank show. Keeping
• 4:55
  it raw. Jokes sharper than a blade. Yes, sir.
• 4:58
  Hammer and Hank. Burned. Why do I always open
• 5:03
  the fridge when I'm bored? Why do you what? Why
• 5:07
  do I always open the fridge when I'm fucking
• 5:09
  bored? Why? Because maybe this time I'll have
• 5:14
  better options. Why do I always wait until the
• 5:20
  last minute for fucking anything? Why? Because
• 5:24
  panic is surprisingly motivating. Why do I fucking
• 5:29
  buy things I don't need when they're on sale?
• 5:34
  Why, Hank? Because my brain likes to keep things
• 5:40
  mysterious ways. Why do I spend 20 minutes looking
• 5:48
  for my phone? Why? Because it's usually in my
• 5:52
  fucking hand. Why do I keep... Every random box
• 5:58
  that comes with electronics. RJ's, why? Because
• 6:03
  apparently, I'm planning to sell them someday.
• 6:08
  Why do I say I'm just resting for a minute? Why?
• 6:13
  Because I am about to take a fucking two -hour
• 6:16
  nap. Sound successful? Why do I avoid making
• 6:23
  eye contact at the gym? Why? Because I'm here
• 6:27
  to exercise, not to accidentally make a new friend.
• 6:33
  Why do I always choose the slowest checkout line?
• 6:36
  Why? Because I have a sixth sense for fucking
• 6:40
  bad timing. And finally, why do I keep watching
• 6:46
  cooking shows? Why? Because eating food is easier
• 6:50
  than making it. And that's it for the Stokes
• 6:53
  for this week. You're the fucking best, Hank.
• 6:58
  There's nobody better than you. You made my day.
• 7:01
  That was great. I love hearing how you say the
• 7:03
  word fuck. It's so like... Hey, buddy. You're
• 7:10
  welcome. All right, let's get to music trivia.
• 7:12
  Let's hit the music. What are you on? Come on
• 7:44
  over. Back in 19, I mean 20, 20, 2001. What year?
• 7:50
  2021? 2001. Come on over. Oh, Christina Aguilera.
• 7:58
  That's right, buddy. Oh, yeah. Sit on my lap,
• 8:01
  Christina. Who had that top ten hit record everywhere
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  back in 2002? Michelle Bridge. Cool, buddy. You
• 8:12
  see what happens when you add artists that were
• 8:14
  within my lifetime? I know things, Hank. Cool,
• 8:19
  buddy. Any other ones? Who had that top ten hit
• 8:25
  record? Me so horny back in 1991. Two live crew.
• 8:31
  Two live crew. You're up, buddy. Oh, they so
• 8:35
  horny. Oh, they so horny. Me love you long time.
• 8:39
  Yeah. And that's it for music trivia for this
• 8:41
  week. I'm actually, wow, I went three for three.
• 8:46
  Maybe I'll get laid tonight and get lucky. But
• 8:48
  in order for me to get laid, Hank. You got to
• 8:52
  have a little bit of Jeebus in your life as I
• 8:55
  load up the church music. Yep. How's church going?
• 9:02
  Extremely good. What do you learn at church?
• 9:05
  We're studying the book of 1 Peter. How's that?
• 9:09
  Pretty good. And soon we'll be beginning studying
• 9:13
  the book of 2 Peter. And what's going to happen
• 9:18
  in that book? Oh, what's going to happen? I don't
• 9:21
  know. Are you excited about it? Yes. What does
• 9:27
  Jesus mean to you? Jesus means a lot to me. I
• 9:33
  want to be saved. Good heaven. Jesus is the angels
• 9:37
  and my dad. And all the friends and family I
• 9:41
  lost. That's a guy real deep. 856 -494 -6773.
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  What is weekend plans, Hank? Hopefully to attend
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  the Radio Day by the Bay in Alameda. It's to
• 9:58
  be held this Saturday at the California Historical
• 10:02
  Radio Society. Who else is going to be there?
• 10:08
  I don't know yet. You haven't talked to anybody
• 10:11
  from the breeze? Or anything like that? Nope.
• 10:16
  You got to hit them up. You're like, yo, can
• 10:18
  I get a VIP so I can hang out with the women?
• 10:22
  That's what you got to do, Hank. Okay, buddy.
• 10:25
  Fuck yeah. You're the best. Nobody better. What
• 10:31
  is a daytime game show you love to see come back?
• 10:37
  What show? Horror Charks. Never heard of it.
• 10:44
  Heard of it. Mud Sharks? Hard Sharks. Park Sharks?
• 10:49
  Hard Sharks. Ah, I totally heard of it. What's
• 10:52
  the show like? Yes, contestants have to guess
• 10:57
  whether or not to put it on a card. Any other
• 11:01
  shows you want to have a comeback? Collar Gold.
• 11:05
  I love your song. We've been recording for 11
• 11:09
  minutes and 11 seconds. Make a wish, Hank. My
• 11:13
  wish is to become even a better shock jock. Hell
• 11:17
  yeah! 1997 calls it the word. If I hit the music,
• 11:22
  would you be ready for a buddy I like? Yes. Yo.
• 11:31
  All right. Tune in to the show. It's Hammer and
• 11:34
  Hank. Mm -hmm. Autistic genius always keeping
• 11:37
  it dank. Henry Oaks on the mic. Hop, ride, and
• 11:40
  shotgun. Roll call for the buddies. We just having
• 11:42
  some fun. Buddy of the week. Mm -hmm. Cleo. Hank
• 11:46
  bringing smiles. Shut the haters down. On the
• 11:49
  airwaves. We breaking the code. Streetwise vibes
• 11:53
  on this radio room. Catch the vibe. Hey, who's
• 11:56
  your buddy? Hollywood, from the doghouse, who
• 12:01
  and JV discovered me way back in 1996. I shout
• 12:06
  out to Hollywood, and rest in peace, JV. Yes,
• 12:10
  sir. Any other buddies of the week? My dog, Marley.
• 12:16
  And everyone who voted for the doghouse into
• 12:20
  the Bay Area Radio Hall of Fame, living in the
• 12:23
  Hall of Fame. radio waves reaching out doghouse
• 12:28
  what doghouse what love it I love it alright
• 12:36
  if I hit the music would you be ready for brick
• 12:38
  of the week yes alright let me hit the music
• 12:42
  right now brick of the week straight out the
• 12:48
  dim lit hen What are you doing this week? It's
• 13:15
  definitely Chris Brown. Why? Why did Chris Brown
• 13:18
  do it? He apparently assaulted Rihanna. 17 years
• 13:24
  ago? Mm -hmm. I hate it. I know. And I hate Chris
• 13:27
  Brown because of that. I feel bad that I like
• 13:30
  his music. Hey, did you hear Kanye West interrupted
• 13:32
  Taylor Swift? Yes. Hey, did you hear about Johnny
• 13:38
  K plus eight? Yep. Do you get what I'm doing
• 13:42
  here? What? I'm bringing up things from 2009.
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  Mm -hmm. 2009. Cool. Well, because that sounded
• 13:50
  funnier in my head. Hammer and Egg, any other
• 13:55
  ideas? Any other topics for today? Or is that
• 13:58
  it? Yes. What's up? I jack off to Hispanic female
• 14:05
  women. Way back when. You're the only person
• 14:10
  that could say the sentence, I jack off to Hispanic
• 14:13
  women and not make it creepy. Congratulations.
• 14:19
  You're very intense this week. Last week, you
• 14:23
  were hanging out. This week, you're a little
• 14:24
  more intense, Hank. Anybody else? Any emails
• 14:31
  this week? No, I forgot to check. My bad. You
• 14:36
  have a ton of listeners, though. Anything else?
• 14:40
  A bit. One second. Episode 60. Can you believe
• 14:51
  it? I can't believe it, buddy. Sign us up. I'll
• 14:57
  talk to you real soon, buddies. Peace in your
• 14:59
  hood. Bye, Hank. Let's do the autism PSA. Oh,
• 15:03
  that's true. Here is a good idea. We're going
• 15:09
  to keep this in the episode. We want our audience
• 15:12
  to see what it's like behind the scenes. Normally,
• 15:15
  the show would be ending right now. We've played
• 15:17
  the outro. But Hammer and Hank need to record
• 15:21
  a new PSA. So, take it away, superstar! Grabbing
• 15:29
  it right now. My autism PSA. I'm grabbing it
• 15:37
  right now. For everybody listening, Hammer and
• 15:41
  Hank. I just wanted to pull back the curtain!
• 15:44
  So everybody can say that this is what it's like
• 15:47
  behind the scenes on radio. We're not always
• 15:48
  just loud mouse. Sometimes we're going through
• 15:51
  emails to make a new PSA. Oh, and it's so good
• 15:55
  in the club. Hello again. It's your buddy Hammer
• 16:00
  Hank. And I'm living proof that autism doesn't
• 16:03
  define who you are. It reveals your strength.
• 16:06
  I was diagnosed with autism at an early age,
• 16:09
  but it didn't stop me. I became a radio DJ, a
• 16:13
  TV show host, performed the national anthem at
• 16:16
  several professional baseball games, and now
• 16:18
  I have a podcast that reaches people from all
• 16:22
  over the world. Autism is part of my story, but
• 16:25
  it's not the whole story. Believe in yourself
• 16:28
  and never give up. To find out more about autism,
• 16:31
  please contact your mental health center or visit
• 16:34
  autismspace .org. This is Hammer and Hank, and
• 16:37
  I appreciate your kindness. Good job, Hank! Good
• 16:41
  job! Thank you, buddy. All right, let's do an
• 16:43
  official sign -off now. They got to see a little
• 16:47
  behind the scenes. Talk to you real soon, buddy.
• 16:49
  Peace in your hood. Love you, Hank! I love you.
• 16:52
  Bye! See you next week. And there he goes! Here
• 16:57
  goes Hammer and Hank! Mmm! Ha! Yeah! Yo! Yo!
• 17:15
  Yo, Mike Crackle, Hammerin' Hank on the tackle.
• 17:19
  Autistic mind sharper than a bone -chilling shackle.
• 17:21
  Henry Oates with the hops, Ryan hopped in the
• 17:24
  spot. Radio waves hittin' hard like a chef with
• 17:26
  a pot. Farewell, Hammerin' Hank, gotta close
• 17:29
  up the show. Legend in the booth where the vibes
• 17:31
  used to flow. Autism warrior, always runnin'
• 17:34
  the glow. But all good things gotta let the curtain
• 17:36
  go slow. On the dial, spittin' truth with his
• 17:39
  unique grind. Thoughts intertwined like graffiti
• 17:41
  on the line. Ryan on the We'll be right back.
• 18:17
  That's the ultimate. Fair well, Hammer and Hank
• 18:51
  gotta close up the show. Legend in the booth
• 18:53
  where the vibes used to flow. Autism warrior
• 18:56
  always running the glow. But all good things
• 18:58
  gotta let the curtain go slow. Radio gate never
• 19:11
  goes. He a host with the sauce. Harry Oaks and
• 19:13
  Ryan Harp. Life never lost. Puzzle piece crown.
• 19:16
  Man is doing what the the ultimate cost. What's
• 19:43
  up? Ryan Hoppe here, and I want to tell you about
• 19:45
  the Ride the Wave Media Podcast Network. They
• 19:49
  got such great shows. It's Practically Magic,
• 19:52
  Those Guys, Blaine's World, and even my show,
• 19:55
  Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard
• 19:58
  by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network
• 20:01
  is going to take over the world. It is everything
• 20:04
  that radio is missing. Now, you're hearing my
• 20:07
  voice, and you go, how can I find it? RideTheWave
• 20:10
  .media is the web name, and there has all the
• 20:14
  great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan
• 20:17
  Hoppe from the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network.
• 20:21
  What's up? Ryan Hoppe here, and I want to tell
• 20:23
  you about the Ride to Wave Media Podcast Network.
• 20:26
  They got such great shows. It's Practically Magic,
• 20:30
  Those Guys, Blaine's World, and even my show,
• 20:33
  Hoppe Hour with Ryan Hoppe, which can be heard
• 20:36
  by searching Hoppe Radio. This podcast network
• 20:39
  is going to take over the world. It is everything
• 20:42
  that radio is missing. Now you're hearing my
• 20:45
  voice and you go, how can I find it? RideTheWave
• 20:48
  .media is the website name and there has all
• 20:52
  the great podcasts. And once again, this is Ryan
• 20:55
  Hoppe from the Ride The Wave Media Podcast Network.