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Transcript

Things I'm Unlearning · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, it's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Lala
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hey Bams, welcome back to the bonus episode of Untraditionally
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Lala with myself and tit Hey. So I asked you
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: guys because I was thinking what would be a good
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: bonus episode because I miss getting our listeners involved. So
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: if you guys don't know, make sure you go and
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: follow Untraditionally Laala Pod. I'm going to be posting there
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: every week to ask you questions and whatever. The topic
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: is this Monday, it's things I'm unlearning. And we were
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: flooded with people telling us what they are trying to unlearn.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: And what's so hard is I feel like sometimes you
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: just come into the world as you are right actually
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: for the most part, So when you think back on
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: behavior that you're like, this is not serving me. You're
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: having to unlearn something some things for me that have
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: been happening for the past fucking twenty years. How the
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: hell do I unlearn? And I was thinking as I
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: was going through this topic, I'm trying to just like
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: unlearned being me like very intense. There's so many things
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: on a regular basis that I go through in my
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: mind because I'm a virgo and I beat myself up
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: and I like obsess over every detail of when something
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: went wrong, and how can I change myself? What can
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I do? It's like, okay, we have to we have
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: to still like tap into self love, like you don't
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: need to change everything about yourself, but how do we
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: tweak it just enough so this shit doesn't keep happening?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: So I would say, gosh, I want you to go
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: first tea.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Mmm, what are you unlearning the definition of successful?
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Walk me through that, because I actually really like this one,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: and I feel like we've talked.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: About this, yeah, and maybe a lot of people feel
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: like this, but you know, for me, it was always like,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know what you see for a man is
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: like success is like financially taking care of a family,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: making you know, it's money based, and I'm trying to
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: understand that honestly, money is like the least important thing. Okay,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: you know, yeah, success is like me being there for
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: you when you need something. Success for me is like
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: being there to take my mom to doctor's appointments, being
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: there for your kids, just like a firm like man
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: in the house. So like just things like that I'm
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: trying to relearn that that is success because I'm helping
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: out many of people, and especially these little girls, to
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: show what a man should do, how a man should
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: treat women and hopefully send them off into the world
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: with a little bit of an understanding. And to me,
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: that's successful. So, yeah, it doesn't because it was always
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: money for me, like how can I and not billions
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: or you know, it was just like I want to
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: be able to take all of you guys on a
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: trip and little things like that, and it was like,
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: you know, it's tough. Money is hard. We all know
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: it's hard to come by. But like I would beat
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: myself up over that, and then as time went on,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I was like, I need to redefine this or I
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: will fucking lose myself. And so being there and like, honestly,
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: redefining the success like money has been easier in a sense,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: if that makes sense. Okay, So I don't know, redefining
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: it like success for me is being present in the
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: lives of everyone around me that I enjoy and being
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: somebody who they can call upon if things get very dark, right,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: So that is where I'm trying to retrain. Is just
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: like being a good person, being present and doing things
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: with purpose.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I love that you brought this up as something that
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: you're un learning because we have this converse a lot,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: and like you wanting to, you know, make your mark
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: and all of these things. And as you were talking
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: about all the things you want, which I think is great,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: and I am here to support you and whatever you
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: want to go and do when it comes to that.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: But I think society has taught us that success means
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: you have money, you have something like a business to
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: show for it. And I had to point out to
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: you because you were really beating yourself up, like what
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: you bring to this family every single day with such
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: a selfless heart, like you are the only I mean,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I don't want to discredit Ocean's dad, but without going there,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: you are the only male figure that my kids, especially
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Sosa have.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and here's the thing I know about the other
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: side before Ocean was even born, you know. Yeah, we
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: were over there, so I saw things and like it
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: is what it is. But the one thing that I
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: can be for Ocean is always there, yeah, right, and
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: that in present, because I feel like that's what she needs,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: is just a man who is present.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Right, And I say that you do that with a
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: selfless heart because you You don't do it because you have to.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You do it because you want to. And like that
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: means everything to me. Like when you come out of
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: your house and I see like your blonde dreadlocks is
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: king over to like start the morning, like I get
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: excited and happy. I'm like, oh, my friend, Yeah, Like
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: you're such a bright light. So although you have all
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: of these things you want to go and do, I
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: don't want it to ever be lost that you've already
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: reached the highest lifelevel of success you can get to.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Thank you for that.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: And you are very much appreciated. And the hard work
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: on it, whole family.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: For real, thank you still working on it. Go into
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: my AA. Good for you doing this thing. We're doing
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: this thing, doing this thing. It's not very It really
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: is rough.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: The money is hard to come by, it really is.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: And everybody I feel like listening will know that it's
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: it's hard to start a business. It's hard to figure
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: out what you really enjoy, what you are passionate about,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: and just getting up under like getting up and out
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: of under the man. You know. Yeah, it's it's very hard,
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: and it's you know a lot of people are doing it,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: and I hope success comes to everybody who's doing it.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: It's just very very hard, very hard.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: But I think if you just strive for like happiness
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: and passion.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Guess what, me and mom because Lisa b we we
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: were talking and in the past month she's made a
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: huge leap. We're getting back in two blondes and bends.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So don't you worry. We're back.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: I know, looking and I'm like, where's we're gonna be back?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: We're going to be back.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I'll share my uh unlearning at the end. So this
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: is what our listeners submitted. People pleasing and being a doormat.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: That's a hard one to unlearn, and I feel like
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: a lot of people.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Have that because whom learns well to whoever learns. I
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: don't know the whom and all that shit. I don't
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: care to.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes it's who instead of whom.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if it's who or whom, but
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: to whom it may concerns. Yeah, if you figure that out,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: let me know, because.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Like, well, sometimes it's just easier to eat it, right.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: It is, but like not every time, not every time,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: And like here's the thing, it's being out and about
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: and standing up for yourself, but in a way that
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: you don't look like an asshole. Like that's how I'm
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: taking that. It's like I'm a people pleaser, even out
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: and about, like oh no, you go ahead, and it's
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: like I'm gonna rush fuck you, you know, but I
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: still let it happen.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like almost my flight. But that's fine.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Because you're happier than me right now. Yeah fuck you. Yeah, yeah,
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: I can't do it anymore. I got to be like, nah, motherfucker,
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I got to catch this thing too. I get it,
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: you know. I like that one.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: This person wants to stop punishing themselves.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Figure that one out.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Tell me to relate to that, like, let it go.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Let it go, let it go. I know, I kind
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: of wish I was Dory just forgetting, just forgot.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Not really not having any ability for short term memory
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: sounds awful.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm not talking about all of it. I'm just thinking, like,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: if I did something I didn't like, just Dory.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Just keep swimming. I relate to that one because I
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I I punish myself pretty heavily. And I've told you
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: guys this. I talked to my sponsor and I would
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: loop and obsess, and she finally was like, Lailah, you're
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: on the verge of a relapse. If you continue to
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: punish yourself, You've got to fucking let it go. It
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: is not that big of a deal. Like it's fine,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I was your side of the street, clean and move on.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: What success. I was like, that's if I didn't change it,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: that's where I was going to be headed. Yeah, because
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: you just beat yourself up and you got to get
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: away from you and how do you do it?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Everywhere I go there, I am what a nightmare?
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: What a nightmare?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Just because their family doesn't mean you have to love them.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: I agree, Lisa.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: No, but like it's so true, like growing up in
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Utah with such a big family, like I don't talk
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: to any of my cousins, any of my aunts and uncles.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: My family is I don't even.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Talk to my dad anymore. I thought it was a
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: good one. Why not to throw it in In eight
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: years I've heard from that, haven't heard from at all.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: You just it's like, are you okay, buddy, you're dead
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: or something?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Fucking croke?
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Get sure you're alive, Sure you're not dead.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: But I do agree there are some shitty families out there, Yeah, right,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: them off them off? Because you can your friends.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Blood is thicker than water?
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: What well I can clean the blood with water, so no,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: but what is.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Blood is thicker than water?
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Well? My friends are my blood. I guess water.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I obviously do under your blood. That person's just water, like,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I got it. But like, but water goes down the
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: throat much better. I'm not trying to be up in
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: here vampiring my ass off.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: And swimming in water is much better rather the thirst.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: All right, I have fun when Wow, I.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Rather quench my thirst.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm taking beautiful all right. To not wait on
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: my husband hand and foot, I am a wife and partner,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: not a chef and nanny.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Bitch, you better get it.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: It is the best thing I have ever heard.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: What I think you do is get a ladder, get
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: on your roof when he gets home, you shout exactly that,
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: and then you get down. We can cook them up.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: That is so good. To not wait on my husband,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: hand and foot. I am a wife and a partner,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: not a chef and a nanny.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Amen, who is this man? I'll have a word.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I don't think she needs you to have a word.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: She's got it covered. You better work, bitch. My opinion
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: matters too, That's a great one. What I have to
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: say is just as important as everybody else's.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I kind of want to print all of these off
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: and put them on so I can read them every
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: day and be like, I'm not going to care about that,
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I think that that's one thing, not one. There's many
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: things that I absolutely adore about filming a reality TV show.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I love I get a high off of those moments
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: of disagreement. I love debating back and forth.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: The one thing that I feel like Bravo has done
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: for you guys and all of that is like a
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: safe space for you to do it well.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Our production team is everything, right, those are our people who, Yes,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: we're here to make a show, and I entertain.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Even because me and you talking on this about mom
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: so much easier than just like having it, I know,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: because this is protecting. Yes.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: But what's great about reality TV is they sit there
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: and they are asking you what do you think? And
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: sometimes you're like, I don't know, I haven't really thought
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: about it. It's like I'm gonna need you to think
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: about it. What do you feel? How do you feel
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: about how this person did this, and you you do
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: start realizing like, oh my god, my voice fucking mass.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: There's gonna be people who agree with me, there's gonna
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: be people who don't. Then you watch it back, because
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: that's the other thing, perspective, and.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, wow, I don't agree with myself.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Perspective is everything how I approached someone and how they
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: respond Like for me, I could feel like I totally
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: handled it the right way and that they just didn't,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: you know, receive it that way. When you watch, you're
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: able to look back and be like, wow, that actually
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: wasn't my proudest moment. I could have been a lot
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: more delicate. Our conversation with Mom in the car so delicate.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: If I had to watch that back, I think I
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: would probably be mortified.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I don't think you'd be very happy. But I have
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: to say that I kicked myself because I also was
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: a little frustrated. Here's the one thing that me and
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: mom did talk about yesterday, and I said, Lisa, the
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: one thing that irritated Lauren, that irritated me, That is
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: why we had the conversation is when she brought out
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: your phone and you said sorry, I just so worried
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: about everyone else. I said, right there is where you
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: fucking clock the both of us. And that's why we
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: had the conversation. And she was like, you own you're right.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: And I was like, that's fine that you're like doing
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: things and she was like and she was like, well,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: I grab the credit card and I was like, that's great,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: but now you gotta grab your phone, you gotta grab
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: your glasses, you gotta grab it all. I was like,
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: so that you sang, I was worried about everyone else?
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Is what fucking.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Sparked me and Lauren, yes, and that's and she got
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: the door open and I was like, it's the little
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: things mom in the car and I was gonna come
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: back out and clean up.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: She wasn't you got me fucked up? Love verdada, but
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: little things like that, but that. But I told her
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: that that's why we and she was like that makes sense.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: I was like, because Lisa, you have to know you
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: not taking care of everyone.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Did you see me yesterday? I was lathering the pancakes
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: for her, putting syrup because she was like, the table
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: pancakes on all of them. So I'm like feeding Sosa,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: lathering the pancakes ocean knee eater eggs, but she wants
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: it with toast. I'm trying to cut that. Like I
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: felt like an octopus and granted love.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: It best part to the best part.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Tell me what is the best part.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: So as she's octopusing around me, well, no, she doesn't know.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Sosa is doing something you can't even remember. And Lisa
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: just looks it over and then goes, Lauren, your daughter
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: needs that, and it's.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Like, Lauren, she's about to pull her water. I was like,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: you're right across from her, stand up and help me,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Like it's so overwhelmed, so overwholmed.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: But she's been helping everyone. So that is where that started.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: But I did point in her opinionated mind, she was
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: going to do X, Y and Z. I think opinions
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: are like assholes. Everyone has one. But you know what,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: all shit don't care. I'm going to voice mine. If
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: you're going to voice you, I'm going I'm going to
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: voice mine, and we're gonna have a back and forth
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: about it until I feel like i'm right or until
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I see your point. If you can make sense to
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: me or I can make sense to you, we're good
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: voice your opinion. It does matter, delays can actually present
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: opportunities you weren't focused on. Wow, I saw my whole
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: thing is like, no, got to do it now.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: If I saw a quote and it was like it
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: was like God, delaying things in your life is to
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: make the things that you don't seem unimportant important. They're important.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Like the quote was amazing kind of on that thing,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: and it was like He's these things aren't working because
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: they're not that important and you're not seeing the real importance. Oh,
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: so that's what it will show you the time.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you this presents something much grander to me,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: which is putting faith in something bigger than you. There's
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: always a reason, I know, and you know what outside
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I think I say this all the time, me believing
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: in the universe or whatever. And it could be just
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: to make myself feel better.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I think that's all of everything is Without that, what
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: do we have nothing? You have nothing.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: It's okay to be in your thirties and single.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I'll say that louder.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Please, No, Can I tell you she's onto something? When
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I meet these young girls and they're like, oh, I
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: want to have a baby by the time I'm thirty, Yes,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: I got it. Biological clock totally important. I didn't even
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: really know who I was until probably this past year.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know the hell I am.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Like, I truly think thirties are your new twenties, forties
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: are the new thirties, and so on and so forth,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: and it is totally fine. And I'm not just saying
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: this this. I have spiraled on this a lot where
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I talk to my mom and I'm like, I'm fucking
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: thirty five. I'm gonna be thirty six next month. I
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: have never been married. I've never experienced true partnership. And
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: you want to know what my mom pointed out. She said, Lauren,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: look around you. Most people right now are in that
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: stage of getting divorced.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Something's in the air.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: No, but this is when you start seeing divorces even
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: in their even forties and fifties. We're watching people, you know,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: ending their marriages of fifteen, seventeen, twenty six.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Years Cayl Richards.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, so every nothing is promised. People are starting over
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: in every age group, like, yes, be single in your thirties,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: have fun and let me tell you something. I have
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: two babies right now and I love it. But if
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: you are in your thirties, single noe kids. Go live
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: it up because the moment that you find your person
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: and you have your babies and now you'll probably find
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: a great guy because you know exactly who you are,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: you're not going to compromise. You're independent, You've got all
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: of the things that you're supposed to fucking have before
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: you find your mate, right because you're one hundred percent,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: you got to find your other hundred. But literally, your
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: whole life changes. I can't just call a friend right
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: now and say, fuck it, let's go to Mexico next week.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I can't because I gotta worry about school starting. I
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: gotta worry about who's watching Sosa, all the things. If
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: you are in your thirties, live it up, baby, Take
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: the hot doorman home if he's safe. Of course, protect yourself,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: always move in a safe manner. But go have fun.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: My god, we deserve it because once you're locked down,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: it's great. I wouldn't know when it comes to a man,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: but with kids, absolutely fantastic. But you lose freedom. I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: will say that I do making myself too available. I
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: relate to that. Not my ason's the canceled king, so
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: am I though husband is in rehab Coddling him isn't
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: always helpful.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: We get that about my mother.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: She's not in rehab. She should be in some sort
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: of rehabilitating. She's rehabilitating. But I get that it's a
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: tough love. I'm actually happy that I read this right now,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: because no matter what, anybody in a vulnerable situation, I'm
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: going to let you know that I love you when
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I'm here for you. But we gotta buck up. Got
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: to buck up, take the bowl by the balls. I'm
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: really really praying for you and your husband. I hope
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: that he I'm assuming that it's rehab like addiction, one
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: day at a time. Don't feel guilty when you're not
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: coddling him. He's got to keep himself sober. But I
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: am praying for you, guys, and wishing you the bus.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: How to be so hard? I am trying to be
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: more soft. Oh I need to get hard, get hard.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I get that.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can get that. I'm more of a softy
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: you are. I feel like I got more soft because
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: you are tougher.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, good tough. It's very difficult over here with I
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: see this person. I need to be softer too. Not
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: everyone is going to like me and I can't change it.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I know you're not everyone.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: To thank you, but here I'll say I do like
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: I don't want to leave a place where somebody's like
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: that kid was an asshole or that kid. But it's
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: like a friend to everyone, it's a friend to no one.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: But then again I can be I stay cordial.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I think being a civilized human being is one thing.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: But if everybody likes you, that means that you are
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: You're not vocal about how you feel. You just stay
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: very piecy in Switzerland, and your feelings matter. You don't
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: stand for anything, which everyone stands for something, whether they
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: choose to vocalize it or not is up to them.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: But that's also how you find your people. Like, if
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: everyone likes you, we got a real problem because I'm
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: a cancelor. I just need my core group of friends
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: who we can go toes together and come back from it.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: We can talk about everything, things that are super uncomfortable. Yeah,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: but that's a tough thing to learn because I think
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: we learned from the time where like small children that
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: like you have to be nice, person's.
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: Not gonna want to play with you, and it's like
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: the fuck, then we beat the we beat honesty out
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: of kids by telling them that, yeah, ocean walks up
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: and she's like, why is her ankle so fat?
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: And it's like, all right, well it's honest, but we
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: know we got to be nice. But it's like refine fine.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I talked about that with a emmer today, like I
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: try to incubate but refine societal standards of beauty. I
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: am the first person like I just got my lipstunn
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: the other day. But guess what, it's because I wanted it.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: No one told me that I had to do it.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: No one told me you'll look better with this. I
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: knew that it would make me feel happy, and it did.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: The moment I looked at him, I was like, I'm happy.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I love it. Now. Do I think it's necessary? No,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: it was probably very unnecessary. And I'm sure there's gonna
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: be a lot of people saying, stop touching your face.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna touch my face if I want.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Everyone thinks you got a nose job too, How funny?
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: You know what? It does look like I got a
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: nose job though in photos. I know I would tell
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: you guys if I got a nose job, trust me,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I am toying with putting fat in my ass. By
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: the way, you guys will be the first to know
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: if I actually do it. No, I don't. Going back
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: to the societal standards of beauty, I don't think anybody
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: needs to touch their face. I don't, But I also
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: think it's important for people who do touch their.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Faces, I've touched minds or whatever.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: To tell people that this is what I've done, so
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: that no one thinks. And obviously you can tell that
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: I've touched my lips. You can probably tell that I
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: get botox because I can't move my face and I
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: like it that way. But I think people have to
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: be honest about what they have done.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because if I want the same fucking work,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna need a recommendation.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And also it's very important to go to the right
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: person because not everybody knows what they're doing, and I
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: will only trust skin tied aesthetics. I go to Lee
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Godfrey and she's been on the podcast for peptides on
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: an unlikely affair?
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Does she do? Do they ship peptides out from that?
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know that. I don't know that. But also
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: doctor Diamond, those to my go to. I won't go
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: to anybody else well, there's obviously a lot of people
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: that are great, like Beverly Hills plastic surgery, doctor Daniel Pohorr,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: has Don Bibbs, doctor Lakey pinned my ears back.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: It depends what you what you're needing done on your
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: body for the correct doctor. So there's a lot of
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: amazing ones you'll go to.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this one's really funny, like who the.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Fuck did what's her name? Who Kim's mom?
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, she looks great.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: What's her name?
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Chris Jenner in New York. It's like one hundred thousand
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: dollars facelift. I think Lindsay Lohan went to him too.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: He's doing something right over there.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I really like this one.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: It's really good.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: How to not let my face show my disgust and boredom?
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: You need to change that, bab No, I like it.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is who did?
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Uh? Doctor Steve Levine.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: That's who did Chris Jenner's faceless God damn it? Wait
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: crushing it. I don't think you need to, babe what.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I think this is awesome. How to not let my
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: face show my disgust and boredom?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: No, let it happen. Let let it happen. Everybody says
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: that because I don't say much and people are like,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: you said a lot with your face. I don't even know.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of like it. I'm okay if you
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: don't change that about yourself.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: No, I don't. That's unique that and I rather talk
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: to you and your facial expressions telling me yes or no,
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: and me just being able to read the room.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Like if someone's facial expression looks like they're bored, then
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I need to pivot, right, I can't. I don't want
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: to be the bitch too bored.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah, what if I go up to you and
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I'm like, did you see that bitch Caitlin back there
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: and she looks.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: At meing people a disservice and she looks at me,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: did discuss I'm like, she looks amazing instead of talking
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: more shit.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, see, all right.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: We'll tie up the comments with this, and then I'll
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: let you know what mine is very briefly, because we're
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: out of time. Being delusional is the best thing you
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: can do for yourself, amen.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I wish I could be more delusional.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: That's now going to be a compliment to me. When
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: someone says to me, you're delusional. Good, that means I'm
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: on the brink of fucking epic success.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Because do you ever feel like you're so in reality
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: aware that it paralyzes you in life.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: In fact, that's what I want to change about myself.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: What I'd like to unlearn is from the time I
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: was a child, I prepared myself for let down and
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't speak what I wanted because God forbid if
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: I didn't get something that I wanted, I didn't want
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: to have to explain why I didn't get it. I
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: don't want to feel the shame. I don't want anyone
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: to look at me like I wasn't good enough. Fuck that.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I am now going to vocalize what I want instead
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: of saying all of the things that I don't want
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: out of protection, because I do that a lot. I
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: think for a long time I was saying I don't
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: want to meet my person, and it was because I
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: wanted to protect my heart and my piece, which is great.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: But in reality, if I take the thirty thousand foot view,
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: I do want to find my person. I do want
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: to you know, develop things and have an iconic fucking
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: brand that just stands the test of time, that's totally
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: detached from this person I want those things, and I'm
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: going to be so delusional until those things are going
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: to happen. Yeah, there's not a question. It's not a
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: question of if. It's a question of just like when
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I love all of these, let's go out into the
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: world and delusion, love ourselves, be delusional and the little things.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Don't be a doormat, and.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Don't be a doormat. And I'm wishing you all the
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: unlearning of toxic traits and things that are not serving
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: you you guys. Quick reminder that Untraditionally La La Bonus
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: episodes air every Monday. On Tuesdays, we have Sex Unlocked
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: with myself and Sally Carson. Wednesday's a regular old episode
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: of Untraditionally Lala, and Thursdays are an Unlikely Affair with
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: myself and Amber Childers that airs at nine pm. You
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: can catch it the next day Friday. Whoop whoop, love it,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Love you guys. Have a great week. Take the bull
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: by the balls, baby, Let you bae.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Bye.