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When Are Good Grades Good Enough? · Pastor John Piper's answers

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  Speaker 1: We are back to questions about our perfectionistic tendencies today
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  Speaker 1: and Monday. Many of us struggle here, and next time
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  Speaker 1: we're going to look at how perfectionism makes us indecisive
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  Speaker 1: in life decisions. But first a question from a student,
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  Speaker 1: when are good grades good enough? Here's the email, pastor down,
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  Speaker 1: Hello to you and thank you for this podcast. I'm
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  Speaker 1: a female high school student in Minnesota, a senior taking
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  Speaker 1: five college classes, so technically a full time college student
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  Speaker 1: as well. This last year, in my online classes, teachers
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  Speaker 1: would prohibit the use of textbooks during mid terms and finals,
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  Speaker 1: but my friends would use their books anyway. I was
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  Speaker 1: tempted to cheat like this too, but I didn't. I
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  Speaker 1: studied longer. Had I cheated, I would have had more
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  Speaker 1: time to study my Bible and hang out with my
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  Speaker 1: family and tend church youth group events. I know I
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  Speaker 1: can't cheat and honor God, but is overdoing my studies
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  Speaker 1: honoring to him either? How important is it to strive
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  Speaker 1: for as if achieving them takes me away from more
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  Speaker 1: important things. I'm wired to be a profect actionist, but
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  Speaker 1: perhaps it's wiser to settle for bees and for second
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  Speaker 1: best in school or in work. To preserve my time
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  Speaker 1: for other things that are equally or more important. How
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  Speaker 1: do you weigh the pros and cons of excellence when
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  Speaker 1: settling for very good seems wiser? When are bees wiser
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  Speaker 1: than a's?
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  Speaker 2: When I saw this question earlier and had a chance
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  Speaker 2: to think about it, even to think whether I want
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  Speaker 2: to tackle answer it, I spent a long time pondering,
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  Speaker 2: how do you give counsel not only to this kind
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  Speaker 2: of question, but to this kind of person? And by
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  Speaker 2: that I mean she said, I'm wired to be a perfectionist.
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  Speaker 2: So we have a person, and she's, of course not unusual.
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  Speaker 2: We have a person with a perfectionist bent wrestling with
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  Speaker 2: You might say good grades versus good deeds. That's one
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  Speaker 2: way to say it. Almost everybody would agree that taking
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  Speaker 2: the time to save a person's life is more important
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  Speaker 2: than getting an a no question. Almost everybody would say,
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  Speaker 2: probably that going to a party with your friends is
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  Speaker 2: not worth lowering your school performance for. But in between
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  Speaker 2: those two more or less obvious choices, dozens and dozens
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  Speaker 2: of gradations that a perfectionist is going to struggle with,
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  Speaker 2: especially a perfectionist, And as I thought of particular pieces
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  Speaker 2: of advice that I could give. I realized that at
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  Speaker 2: every point, certain personalities, certain perfectionist types I think I
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  Speaker 2: include myself here, probably would likely take the advice and
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  Speaker 2: obsess over it and make the solution that I'm offering
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  Speaker 2: part of a problem. For example, if I said read
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  Speaker 2: your Bible and pray so that you'll have wisdom, a
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  Speaker 2: perfectionist will ask how.
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  Speaker 1: Many hours a day?
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  Speaker 2: How many hours a day should I read my Bible?
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  Speaker 2: How many hours a day should I pray? Can you
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  Speaker 2: get yourself in a deeper hole? Now? So the question
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  Speaker 2: I'm asking myself is, well, what can I say that
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  Speaker 2: would point a person to the path of becoming a
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  Speaker 2: healthy person? And by a healthy person, I mean a
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  Speaker 2: person who is not tormented by questions for which there's
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  Speaker 2: no clear biblical answer. The Bible simply does not tell
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  Speaker 2: a student how many hours to study and how much
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  Speaker 2: Christian service to do, or how much time to spend
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  Speaker 2: cultivating friendships. A healthy person recognizes the complexities of such
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  Speaker 2: questions and humbly seeks a transformed mind and heart which
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  Speaker 2: is able to spontaneously and without fixations and obsessions, make
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  Speaker 2: healthy choices. So here's the path I want to commend
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  Speaker 2: toward being a healthy person and making healthy choices when
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  Speaker 2: the Bible does not prescribe which choice to make. And
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  Speaker 2: I just have one piece of advice and then some
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  Speaker 2: explanations why I say it. The advice is seek to
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  Speaker 2: be a part of a community of healthy people. That's
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  Speaker 2: my advice. And by healthy, I mean spiritually and psychologically mature,
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  Speaker 2: Bible saturated, wise, steady, sober, minded, balanced, joyful, humble, courageous,
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  Speaker 2: loving people. This is really healthy, strong saints. Why would
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  Speaker 2: I suggest this? What's the biblical warrant for giving that
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  Speaker 2: kind of advice to a perfectionist? Why do I hope
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  Speaker 2: that simply being around healthy Christians will have a healthy
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  Speaker 2: effect on perfectionistic people? And here my three biblical answers
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  Speaker 2: to that question of why I'm giving this advice and
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  Speaker 2: why I think it will have a profound effect if
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  Speaker 2: we follow it. Number One, the Bible teaches that association
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  Speaker 2: with wise people makes us wiser Proverbs thirteen twenty. Whoever
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  Speaker 2: walks with the wise becomes wise. That's an amazing statement.
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  Speaker 2: But the companion of fools will suffer harm. Healthy ways
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  Speaker 2: of seeing the world and living wisely rubs off. You
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  Speaker 2: can't program it, you can't itemize it. You can't package it,
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  Speaker 2: and most of the time you can't even point to
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  Speaker 2: when it happens. It's relationally organic, it's natural, and it's wonderful.
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  Speaker 2: So the Psalmist says in Someone nineteen sixty three, I
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  Speaker 2: am a companion of all who fear you and those
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  Speaker 2: who keep your precips Or another way to say the
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  Speaker 2: same thing is that Paul says well at least six
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  Speaker 2: times that his churches should imitate him. This is real
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  Speaker 2: life on life, watching and imitating, And in the Book
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  Speaker 2: of Hebrews the same thing. It tells us be imitators
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  Speaker 2: of those who, through faith and patience inherit the Promises,
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  Speaker 2: chapter six, verse twelve. In a healthy community, this just happens.
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  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's more intentional, but most of the time it's
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  Speaker 2: just spontaneous. It's caught rather than taught. To be around
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  Speaker 2: healthy people is to become more healthy. And this is
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  Speaker 2: especially true, I think for those who struggle in unhealthy ways,
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  Speaker 2: with choices for which there's no clear biblical step by
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  Speaker 2: step direction. It has to come from a healthy internal
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  Speaker 2: orientation to the world, and that we absorb in large
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  Speaker 2: measure from healthy people who are around us. Here's the
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  Speaker 2: second way the Bible gives us warrant for this kind
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  Speaker 2: of advice. The New Testament uses the phrase one another
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  Speaker 2: ninety nine times, including I'm not even counting the phrase
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  Speaker 2: each other, just one another in the ESV, including love
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  Speaker 2: one another, fellowship with one another, greet one another, serve
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  Speaker 2: one another, show hospitality to one another, pray for one another,
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  Speaker 2: confessor sins to one another, encourage one another, stir up
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  Speaker 2: one another, exhort one another, welcome one another, do good
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  Speaker 2: to one another, admonish one another, bear with one another,
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  Speaker 2: care for one another. And the list goes on and on.
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  Speaker 2: In other words, God's plan for the healing of our
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  Speaker 2: personality defects, and everybody has them. Like I'm not picking
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  Speaker 2: on this girl, all right, everybody has them. His plan
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  Speaker 2: for the maturing of our relational skills and his plan
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  Speaker 2: for our ability to make wise choices, His plan for
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  Speaker 2: all of our growth in how we serve and love
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  Speaker 2: each other. His plan for all these is that we
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  Speaker 2: spend time together and for the more mature to become
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  Speaker 2: natural influences on the less mature. Here's one more way
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  Speaker 2: the New Testament commends this kind of advice when discussing
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  Speaker 2: spiritual gifts and their use in the church. Paul said
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  Speaker 2: in one Corinthians twelve seven to each is given the
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  Speaker 2: manifestation of the spirit for the common good. So varieties
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  Speaker 2: of gifts, varieties of service, varieties of activities, all of
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  Speaker 2: them with this goal the common good, or you could
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  Speaker 2: say the common psychological and spiritual health, the common psychological
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  Speaker 2: well being, the common capacity for making wise and peaceful
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  Speaker 2: decisions about school grades in relation to other good things.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm saying to our Minnesota high school senior, who
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  Speaker 2: may well be in my own church, for all I know,
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  Speaker 2: the long range, lifelong answer to your question is spend
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  Speaker 2: time with psychologically and spiritually mature, healthy people, be in
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  Speaker 2: a healthy church. I know this is not a satisfactory
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  Speaker 2: short term answer for specifics this semester. I know that,
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  Speaker 2: but it is what all of us need for the
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  Speaker 2: rest of our lives.
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  Speaker 1: Very good and important word. Thank you, Pastor John for
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  Speaker 1: celebrating the local church here we all need one, and
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  Speaker 1: thanks for joining us today. Have a question to ask
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  Speaker 1: Pastor John. Find a link to email us and find
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  Speaker 1: our complete episode archive. But Askpastor John dot com. Every
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  Speaker 1: episode with audio in full transcripts available for you Monday.
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  Speaker 1: We are back and back to this topic of perfectionism
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  Speaker 1: and how perfectionism makes us indecisive in life. How do
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  Speaker 1: we overcome the paralysis of perfectionistic indecision when it comes
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  Speaker 1: to making important life decisions. That's next. I'm Tony Ranky
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  Speaker 1: Pastor John, and I will see you on Monday. Thanks
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  Speaker 1: for listening.