Latest / The Refrigeration Mentor Podcast / Episode 230. Handling Conflict with Customers and Coworkers

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Episode 230. Handling Conflict with Customers and Coworkers · The Refrigeration Mentor Podcast

• 0:00
  Because sometimes some people just want to be right all the time. And even when they're wrong, they say they're right. You have to talk differently to them. And it's not saying, you know, just always giving in to say they're right. It's getting them to realize. Welcome to the Refrigeration Mentor Podcast.
• 0:01
  This podcast is for busy refrigeration professionals who want to learn faster and achieve more. I'm your refrigeration coach, Trevor Matthews. Here we cover everything from technical skills and industry trends to personal development. That is key to your success. And why do we talk about personal development?
• 0:02
  Because being a great refrigeration professional isn't just about the skills. Isn't just about your technical skills. It's also about your emotional intelligence, your communication skills, your leadership skills, and lifelong learning each episode helps refrigeration professionals, enhance their skills, boost their resilience and achieve a better work life.
• 0:03
  Whether you're a seasoned pro or you're just starting out, this podcast is your guide to being the best version of yourself and unlock your full potential. Thanks for tuning in. Let's grow together. Let's learn together. Now let's get a conversation going today. I want to dive into something that. A lot of us, I, I don't know if we, we struggle with, but it's uncomfortable.
• 0:04
  And even with people that are very good at this is uncomfortable. It's, it's conflict resolution. Without a few people talk about, it's difficult to talk to their customers about certain issues, uh, that come up in their service process. Really talk about with their managers or dispatch. This happens all the time or within your team.
• 0:05
  Conflicts come up every day and maybe you might notice it, recognize it, or you might not. You know, because when I, I know when I have a heated discussion before previously, before I started learning about conflict for resolution, before I started taking courses on it, crucial conversation was one of the courses that I took.
• 0:06
  And it's difficult when you don't get involved and you don't, uh, work at it. A few ways it can happen. You get into a conflict, you just shut down. You want to get out of there, out of that. Situation, fight or flight, that's what a lot of people say, fight or flight, but you want to get out of that conversation.
• 0:07
  You know, whatever you need to do, or you get really defensive or you have to be right, or you're trying to justify your actions of what you did. And I've done lots of that stuff because I didn't understand how to, to have that conversation. So the first step before or anything, it's, you really got to understand the conflict and it's hard when it just happens just like that, when you get in there and all of a sudden you feel like you are Taken by surprise on this situation.
• 0:08
  And sometimes it's not that way, but I'm just giving the example. So you want to understand what that conflict is as a first step, we'll use a, uh, a supermarket example. So did they lose a lot of product? Did, uh, a component break in and. Costs tens of thousands of dollars. Is it, uh, something that was out of your hands that, that happened?
• 0:09
  You know, you got to find the really that root cause of what the conflict is about. Is that someone did not show up to a job site and they had to get a complete before the grand opening, whatever it is. You want to understand that and understand all the parties involved, uh, that really plays a crucial role in the, this conflict resolution, because you, if you, you really want to think about all things and something, this is really hurt.
• 0:10
  This is stuff that you need to practice and practice and practice and practice, uh, and even role play with people. Um, because the way you are thinking now. We'll have to be different in that, those different situation. One of the other things I learned about, uh, conflict resolution is you really need to learn how to communicate.
• 0:11
  And, uh, we talked about this already, it's that act of listening. So really what, what are they saying? Because sometimes when you are in a situation that it's a heat discussion, it has really nothing to do with the situation you're in at, say that's on that service call or after that service call. Maybe it's something to do with something else and they're bringing it in to have a heated discussion with you.
• 0:12
  And that's why understanding the conflict in the first place that we talked about. And then when you understand, uh, the, the communication skills, you understand how they are feeling. You are even their body language. Okay. That, that gives you an idea of where they are situated at, because what you don't want to do is all of a sudden is get defensive, try to.
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  Prove your case. Cause this is a lot of what people do. They're just trying to justify it. I did this and I did that. And this is why I did this. And it was somebody else's fault. This is the other person's fault. And they're blaming this and blaming that. You've got to really take a bigger look at it. And sometimes it is, it's getting outside and be that third person looking in on the conversation you're having with, with that person, you want to also be empathetic, have empathy, you know, really understanding that the feeling that the other person's having, why are they feeling the situation?
• 0:14
  Like what, what is it? Maybe like what, like I said earlier, maybe it has nothing to do with you in the situation. Maybe one of their, the person at their company just stole 100, 000 and they're dealing with that. Maybe it's something at home, there, there's a, a personal situation and they're bringing it into this situation that, that you're working on with them, between you and them.
• 0:15
  Because this is a conversation transaction that, that is happening. And sometimes the little things. You don't think it's a big thing because you see this time and time again, you're going to different sites and fixing different problems, but to them, it's a really big thing. And so that's sometimes that you gotta think about, like, you gotta think this is a new, a new job, a new start.
• 0:16
  Think about it as the first time you've ever met this person. You know, because every time you go to a new service call, we think, well, we did thousands of these before, but it might be that person that manager you're working with, this is their first time working with someone like you. And when you come with that mindset and not, you know, and not, I say it time and time again, at Dale Carnegie, criticize, complain, or condemn.
• 0:17
  If you get in that mindset, when you're in this heated discussion or in this. Situation that have come from the job itself or the store or the management. And you don't really think of all parties involved, right? Because really we should be thinking how to help them. And if we don't have any empathy in that their situation, you could be thinking, well, you got old crappy cases.
• 0:18
  You don't want to do anything with them. You don't want to fix them. They're always leaking. They're 20 years old, but realistically, they. They can't do anything about it. Maybe they can't afford it. Maybe they're in, they're in a situation and if you keep telling them the same thing, same thing, that's not going to help the situation.
• 0:19
  Other things for conflict resolution is understanding problem solving skills. So getting into the conflict, understanding what that, that root cause of it, just like when you're troubleshooting on this, understanding the root cause of that conflict is very, very important. And so if it is a situation where the cases are continuing to leak and they can't afford to get it, but they're not going to tell you that they can't afford it.
• 0:20
  It's like, no, no, it's still working. We're going to get the best, the longest as we can out of it. What can you do to help that situation, to get them out of there, to that next level, instead of just continue complaining or Because that's the thing, you're not the only person that's going into that store.
• 0:21
  You know, so other people are coming in and bitching and complaining to them all the time. You As well, you want to see maybe it's things that's out of your control as well. So, and the things that you could do for a situation like that, that case we just talked about, it's like. What kind of negotiation skills can you use in there?
• 0:22
  What can you leverage? How to make it solve their problem for the time being until that rental is coming up in a year and a half. Uh, this takes skill. And it's uncomfortable. These are uncomfortable conversations. Very uncomfortable conversations because I've been in them. You get very tense. You know, your hair may stand up on your arms, your heart starts racing really fast, and you may start sweating, and you really want to get out of there.
• 0:23
  But honestly, if you can try to stick through a few of them and just listen, I think the biggest thing is listening. Don't talk. Don't talk at all. Because when you get really stressed, potentially you might start saying things that you don't really mean, or you're not thinking of what you're saying. So just listen.
• 0:24
  Just don't talk, just try to listen. And just listen, even take notes, don't be afraid to take notes, like, I, I don't want to miss, make sure I miss anything while they're yelling, or there could be potentially screaming, because it's your goal to get the understanding of that root cause, so, so you can understand what you're doing.
• 0:25
  Really come back with a, the feedback or a question to ask them or, or something that's really going to help, help them feel like you are listening to them. Cause most of the people are, most of the technicians that go in, aren't listening to the problems of, uh, of that store manager of that business owner.
• 0:26
  And it's important to do that. And when you can do that, that also builds relationships on it. I've seen. I've seen and you've heard of it and watched it so many times where there is a conflict, but it turned that conflict into a stronger relationship than ever before. Because that, that is, that is important.
• 0:27
  And we see conflict in our life all the time because it's not only at the, say at a story we're going to, this happens within the internal team. So with your manager, with your dispatch, it's once again, that emotional intelligence, it's understanding. Where, where, where is that person at? And maybe they are a negative person that is, that is always bringing, um, issues or problems.
• 0:28
  They always, they only bring up the problems. They don't ever bring up the, the great things that are happening. But you gotta understand that that's you having that intelligence. Okay, we know that. This person will not bring up something that that's going great. It's always always this but how do you understand that and Help the situation where you can help them think a little bit differently, you know Because they're all going to come up with a conflict for you.
• 0:29
  This wasn't done. Right? That's not done, right? And why didn't you do it this way? There's so many examples but if you can change the way you talk to them and Get them On a path that makes them feel better about that situation. Because sometimes some people just want to be right all the time. And even when they're wrong, they say they're right.
• 0:30
  You have to talk differently to them. And it's not saying, you know, just always giving in to say they're right. It's getting them to realize that situation. Because they may not know. They may be at that point where nothing is good. Nothing's really going to change them at that point. Because they could be super upset about the situation is so heated that they can't change what their thoughts are at that point.
• 0:31
  But maybe it's coming back to that conversation with them later at a different situation in a different place, not in that in that zone that you were in with that conversation. And this is where you can really take and imply different strategies like using patients. Using communication skills, using empathy, problem solving skills.
• 0:32
  Sometimes you got to get out of this situation and get back into that situation. Which is the hardest thing because after you have that conversation, you, sometimes you don't want to have it again. You don't want to bring it up. And this happens even with friends and family. You avoid those tough conversations.
• 0:33
  Talking about money, talking about politics, talking about all these things that people say, Oh, you should never talk about with friends and family. Or anybody, why not? Because it makes people uncomfortable. They can't talk about those situations. And that's, that's the thing. When you can get to that point and talk about it.
• 0:34
  And see all points of view. Even sometimes you have to leave that conversation. Okay, so like I said, you gotta leave the conversation. And bring it up in a different time, in a different situation. And this stuff is hard. I've listened to many podcasts on our conflict negotiation skills. There's this one guy, he worked with the FBI.
• 0:35
  He was a negotiator, a hostage negotiator. I can't remember his name off the top of my head. And he talks about, uh, when he's in a situation and he's in with someone who is very, very, uh. A lot of the times they're looking, that person that, that in that negotiation is looking for a solution for themselves as well.
• 0:36
  Sometimes he says there's not, uh, the worst people to be in a negotiation is, is, uh, someone who doesn't have. A plan, it just happens where when somebody else is planning something else, uh, planning something, those people are trying to get their escape plan and just talking about the situation and how to get out.
• 0:37
  And his role is, is to help the people that are in that situation. And a lot of it, what he talks about is in that communication skills, that listening to what they're looking at, getting to that emotional intelligence. Why are they in this situation really understanding where they are coming from to get to that point?
• 0:38
  Okay, and I think a lot of it comes back to getting into these Conversation or when you do get in these conversation Look back on it because I bet a lot of the times and I've had this happen time and time again It's like man I really didn't feel great about the things that I said or I feel like I should have You Use this tone.
• 0:39
  Um, I could have done it this way. And then either you feel upset about it or bad about it afterwards. And then you don't do any, like, I didn't do anything. Go back and talk about that and bring that stuff up. And I've seen this time and time again with me when I had a heated discussion and the conversation didn't go well at all.
• 0:40
  And I just kept thinking about it, thinking about it, overthinking the situation, then I go back and talk to that person about it and they were like, No, that wasn't a big deal, what you said there. That's, I didn't even notice that. So sometimes we make that, that situation a bigger deal than really it was.
• 0:41
  And then we get more upset and then we're stressed out about it and our week is totally shot. But this is where you go back and you follow up and you ask these questions, the uncomfortable questions. And that's where it'll get easier and easier. And this is, this is always hard. These uncomfortable conversations with teammates, co workers, with colleagues.
• 0:42
  I really believe if you work on these, honestly, I've done lots of role play on conflict or heated discussions, which are even hard when you're doing a role play because you're trying to think on the spot and trying to think about what should I say? What shouldn't I say? And then take yourself out of that situation once again, and look inside that conversation that had, was there the right points being made?
• 0:43
  Did we understand what that situation was in the first place? Did we make the proper communication? And were we listening properly? Were we clear about that? Those points that we were making, I see a time and time again happening with within the industry where newer people, younger people, especially coming in.
• 0:44
  I've heard a time and time again where. People talk down to the, the newer person, talk down to the apprentice, talk down to, uh, females or different ethnic groups, being in the, in the industry, and there is a lot of issues with that, like culture or sensitivity. When you see this stuff happen, sometimes you're not even in that, that place.
• 0:45
  Conflict or in that heated discussion, but if you're there listening to it, or you hear it, or it's in front of you, you are part of it. If you don't do anything about it, that that's on on you as well. This is things that I've seen time and time again happening that needs to kind of change in industry.
• 0:46
  And this is that those uncomfortable conversations bringing this up with your manager and talk about it. And maybe they're trying to avoid it. And that's the, that this is sometimes when you have to go higher and above that person because this happens because they know they can't deal with the conflict.
• 0:47
  I've seen this too. You go to a superior to look for help for a conflict situation and they are backing off. They're like, okay, just let it go. It's no, you gotta, you still have to continue to grow, learn from yourself. And if you have to go above, you do it in the right steps because situations sometimes will start to get out of control, especially.
• 0:48
  Well, we're, we're talking about cultural diversity, workplace diversity, and I can get a whole discussion on that, but make sure if you see things like that, even if you're not in that. Heated discussion on conflicts is really make sure you recognize it and talk to the right people about it. Once again, these are hard conversations to have, but for sure, it will make you feel better if you're doing the right thing, hopefully.
• 0:49
  You took a few things away from, from this conversation, maybe something that maybe you want to go look up now, go do a little bit more research on it. Cause that's what it's all about. Really appreciate all of you. My name is Troy Mathews. Let's get a conversation going. I want to thank you so much for hanging out with me and the refrigeration mentor podcast.
• 0:50
  If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a comment. Let me know what were your key highlights. What you took away from myself or my guests, as well as if you have not subscribed yet, head over to Apple podcasts or Spotify and subscribe. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend. Let your friends know that there are people who care, who want to share the refrigeration information to help them get to the next level in their career.
• 0:51
  If you have not been to the refrigeration mentor website at refrigeration, mentor. com, go check it out. There's a ton more guest podcasts I've been on as well as the event page. Check out the events page because there's a lot more free trainings as well as paid training to really help you grow your knowledge base.
• 0:52
  Super excited. Can't wait to see it. The next refrigeration mentor podcasts. Let's get a conversation going.