Latest / Science Fiction Books / 16 - The Flying Inn - GK Chesterton
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Chapter sixteen, The Seven Moods of Dorian. That timeless clock
- 0:08Speaker 1: of all lunatics, which was so bright in the sky
- 0:11Speaker 1: that night, may really have had some elfin luck about it,
- 0:15Speaker 1: like a silver penny. Not only had it irritated mister
- 0:19Speaker 1: Hibbs into the mysteries of Dionysius and mister Bulrose into
- 0:23Speaker 1: the arboreal habits of his ancestors, but one night of
- 0:27Speaker 1: it made a very considerable and rather valuable change in
- 0:31Speaker 1: mister Dorian Wimpole, the poet of the Birds. He was
- 0:36Speaker 1: a man neither foolish nor evil any more than Shelley,
- 0:40Speaker 1: only a man made sterile by living in a world
- 0:42Speaker 1: of indirectness and insincerity with words rather than with things.
- 0:49Speaker 1: He had not had the smallest intention of starving his chauffeur.
- 0:55Speaker 1: He did not realize that there was worse spiritual murder
- 0:58Speaker 1: in merely forgetting him. But as hour after hour passed
- 1:03Speaker 1: over him alone with the donkey and the moon, he
- 1:06Speaker 1: went through a raging and shifting series of frames of mind,
- 1:10Speaker 1: such as his cultured friends would have described as moods.
- 1:15Speaker 1: The first mood I regret to say was one of
- 1:18Speaker 1: black and grinding hatred. He had no notion of the
- 1:22Speaker 1: chauffeur's grievance, and could only suppose he had been bribed
- 1:26Speaker 1: or intimidated by the demonic donkey torturers. But mister Wimple
- 1:32Speaker 1: was much more capable at that moment of torturing a
- 1:35Speaker 1: chauffeur than mister Pump had ever been of torturing a donkey,
- 1:39Speaker 1: for no sane man can hate an animal. He kicked
- 1:44Speaker 1: the stones into the road, sending them flying into the forest,
- 1:49Speaker 1: and wished that each one of them was a chauffeur.
- 1:53Speaker 1: The bracken by the roadside he tore up by the roots,
- 1:57Speaker 1: as representing the hair of the chauffeur, to which it
- 2:00Speaker 1: bore no resemblance. He hit with his fists such trees,
- 2:04Speaker 1: as I suppose, seemed in form an expression most reminiscent
- 2:08Speaker 1: of the chauffeur, but desisted from this, finding that in
- 2:12Speaker 1: this apparently one sided contest, the tree had rather the
- 2:16Speaker 1: best of it, but the whole wood and the whole
- 2:19Speaker 1: world had become a kind of omnipresent and pantheistic chauffeur,
- 2:24Speaker 1: and he hit at him everywhere. The thoughtful reader will
- 2:28Speaker 1: realize that mister Wimple had already taken a considerable upward
- 2:32Speaker 1: stride in what he would have called the cosmic scale.
- 2:37Speaker 1: The next best thing to really loving a fellow creature
- 2:40Speaker 1: is really hating him, especially when he is a poorer man,
- 2:44Speaker 1: separated from you otherwise by mere social stiffness. The desire
- 2:50Speaker 1: to murder him is at least an acknowledgment that he
- 2:53Speaker 1: is alive. Many a man has owed the first white
- 2:58Speaker 1: gleams of the dawn of democracy in his soul to
- 3:01Speaker 1: a desire to find a stick and beat the butler.
- 3:06Speaker 1: And we have it on the unimpeachable local authority of
- 3:09Speaker 1: mister Humphrey Pump, that Squire Merriman chased his librarian through
- 3:14Speaker 1: three villages with a horse pistol, and was a radical
- 3:18Speaker 1: ever after. His rage also did him good merely as
- 3:24Speaker 1: a relief, and he soon passed into a second and
- 3:27Speaker 1: more positive mood of meditation. The damnable monkeys go on
- 3:32Speaker 1: like this, he muttered, And then they call the donkey.
- 3:35Speaker 1: One of the lower animals ride on a donkey, would
- 3:39Speaker 1: he I'd like to see the donkey riding on him
- 3:41Speaker 1: for a bit, good old man. The patient ass turned
- 3:46Speaker 1: mild eyes on him when he patted it, and Dorian
- 3:49Speaker 1: Wimpole discovered, with a sort of subconscious surprise, that he
- 3:54Speaker 1: really was fond of the donkey. Deeper still, in his
- 3:58Speaker 1: subliminal self, he knew, knew that he had never been
- 4:01Speaker 1: fond of an animal before. His poems about fantastic creatures
- 4:05Speaker 1: had been quite sincere and quite cold. When he said
- 4:09Speaker 1: he loved a shark, he meant he saw no reason
- 4:12Speaker 1: for hating a shark, which was right enough. There is
- 4:15Speaker 1: no reason for hating a shark, however much reason there
- 4:18Speaker 1: may be for avoiding one. There is no harm in
- 4:21Speaker 1: a craken if you keep it in a tank or
- 4:23Speaker 1: in a sonnet. But he also realized that his love
- 4:27Speaker 1: of creatures had been turned round and was working from
- 4:30Speaker 1: the other end. The donkey was a companion and not
- 4:33Speaker 1: a monstrosity. It was dear because it was near, not
- 4:38Speaker 1: because it was distant. The oyster had attracted him because
- 4:41Speaker 1: it was utterly unlike a man, unless it be counted
- 4:45Speaker 1: a touch of masculine vanity to grow a beard. The
- 4:48Speaker 1: fancy is no idler than that he had himself used
- 4:52Speaker 1: in suggesting a sort of feminine vanity in the permanence
- 4:56Speaker 1: of a pearl. But in that maddening vigil among the
- 5:00Speaker 1: mystic pines. He found himself more and more drawn toward
- 5:05Speaker 1: the donkey, because it was more like a man than
- 5:08Speaker 1: anything else around him, because it had eyes to see
- 5:12Speaker 1: and ears to hear, and the latter even unduly developed heath.
- 5:18Speaker 1: It hath ears to hear. Let him hear, he said,
- 5:21Speaker 1: scratching those gray, hairy flappers with affection. Haven't you lifted
- 5:25Speaker 1: your eyes toward heaven? And will you be the first
- 5:28Speaker 1: to hear the last trumpet? The ass rubbed his nose
- 5:31Speaker 1: against him with what seemed almost like a human caress,
- 5:35Speaker 1: and Dorian caught himself wondering how a caress from an
- 5:38Speaker 1: oyster could be managed. Everything else around him was beautiful,
- 5:42Speaker 1: but inhuman. Only in the first glory of anger could
- 5:46Speaker 1: he really trace in a tall pine tree the features
- 5:50Speaker 1: of an ex taxicabman from Kennington. Trees and ferns had
- 5:55Speaker 1: no living ears that they could wag, nor mild eyes
- 5:58Speaker 1: that they could move. He patted the donkey again, but
- 6:03Speaker 1: the donkey had reconciled him to the landscape, and in
- 6:06Speaker 1: his third mood, he began to realize how beautiful it was.
- 6:10Speaker 1: On a second study, he was not sure it was
- 6:13Speaker 1: so inhuman. Rather, he felt that its beauty at least
- 6:17Speaker 1: was half human, that the aureole of the sinking moon
- 6:20Speaker 1: behind the woods was chiefly lovely because it was like
- 6:23Speaker 1: the tender colored aureole of an early saint, and that
- 6:27Speaker 1: the young trees were after all noble, because they held
- 6:31Speaker 1: up their heads like virgins cloudily. There crowded into his
- 6:35Speaker 1: mind ideas with which it was imperfectly familiar, especially an
- 6:41Speaker 1: idea which he had heard called the image of God.
- 6:45Speaker 1: It seemed to him more and more that all these things,
- 6:48Speaker 1: from the donkey to the very docks and ferns by
- 6:51Speaker 1: the roadside, were dignified and sanctified by their partial resemblance
- 6:55Speaker 1: to something else. It was as if they were baby drawings,
- 7:00Speaker 1: the wild, crude sketches of nature in her first sketch
- 7:03Speaker 1: Books of Stone. He had flung himself on a pile
- 7:07Speaker 1: of pine needles to enjoy the gathering darkness of the
- 7:10Speaker 1: pine woods as the moon sank behind them. There is
- 7:14Speaker 1: nothing more deep and wonderful than really impenetrable pine woods,
- 7:19Speaker 1: where the nearer trees show against the more shadowy a
- 7:23Speaker 1: tracery of silver upon gray, and of gray upon black.
- 7:28Speaker 1: It was by this time, in pure pleasure and idleness
- 7:32Speaker 1: that he picked up a pine needle to philosophize about it.
- 7:38Speaker 1: Think of sitting on needles, he said, Yet, I suppose
- 7:41Speaker 1: this is the sort of needle that Eve in the
- 7:44Speaker 1: old legend used in Eden. I and the old legend
- 7:49Speaker 1: was right too. Think of sitting on all the needles
- 7:52Speaker 1: in London. Think of sitting on all the needles in Sheffield.
- 7:57Speaker 1: Think of sitting on any needles, except on all the
- 8:00Speaker 1: needles of Paradise. Oh, yes, the old legend was right enough.
- 8:05Speaker 1: The very needles of God are softer than the carpets
- 8:08Speaker 1: of men. He took a pleasure in watching the weird
- 8:12Speaker 1: little forest animals creeping out from under the green curtains
- 8:15Speaker 1: of the wood. He reminded himself that in the old
- 8:19Speaker 1: legend they had been as tame as the ass, as
- 8:22Speaker 1: well as being as comic. He thought of Adam naming
- 8:25Speaker 1: the animals, and said to a beetle, I should call
- 8:29Speaker 1: you Budger. The slugs gave him great entertainment, and so
- 8:34Speaker 1: did the worms. He felt a new and realistic interest
- 8:37Speaker 1: in them, which he had not known before. It was
- 8:40Speaker 1: indeed the interest that a man feels in a mouse.
- 8:43Speaker 1: In a dungeon the interest of any man tied by
- 8:46Speaker 1: the leg and forced to see the fascination of small things.
- 8:51Speaker 1: Creatures of the wormy kind, especially crept out at very
- 8:54Speaker 1: long intervals. Yet he found himself waiting patiently for hours
- 8:59Speaker 1: for the pleasure of their acquaintance. One of them, rather
- 9:02Speaker 1: specially arrested his eye because it was a little longer
- 9:05Speaker 1: than most worms, and seemed to be turning its head
- 9:09Speaker 1: in the direction of the donkey's left fore leg. Also,
- 9:13Speaker 1: it had a head to turn, which most worms have not.
- 9:17Speaker 1: Dorian Wimpole did not know much about exact natural history,
- 9:21Speaker 1: except what he had once got up very thoroughly from
- 9:24Speaker 1: an encyclopedia for the purposes of a sympathetic villainel. But
- 9:30Speaker 1: as this information was entirely concerned with the conjectural causes
- 9:34Speaker 1: of laughter in the Hyaena, it was not directly helpful
- 9:37Speaker 1: in this case. But though he did not know much
- 9:40Speaker 1: natural history, he knew some. He knew enough to know
- 9:45Speaker 1: that a worm ought not to have a head, and
- 9:48Speaker 1: especially not a squared and flattened head shaped like a
- 9:52Speaker 1: spade or a chisel. He knew enough to know that
- 9:55Speaker 1: a creeping thing with a head of that pattern survives
- 9:58Speaker 1: in the English countryside, though it is not common. In short,
- 10:04Speaker 1: he knew enough to step across the road and set
- 10:06Speaker 1: a sharp and savage boot heel on the neck and
- 10:09Speaker 1: spine of the creature, breaking it into three black bits
- 10:13Speaker 1: that writhed once more before they stiffened. Then he gave
- 10:17Speaker 1: out a great explosive sigh. The donkey, whose leg had
- 10:22Speaker 1: been in such danger, looked at the dead adder with
- 10:26Speaker 1: eyes that had never lost their moony mildness. Even Dorian
- 10:30Speaker 1: himself looked at it for a long time, and with
- 10:33Speaker 1: feelings he could neither arrest nor understand, before he remembered
- 10:38Speaker 1: that he had been comparing the little Wood to Eden,
- 10:41Speaker 1: and even in Eden, he said at last, And then
- 10:45Speaker 1: the words of Fitzgerald failed upon his lips. And while
- 10:49Speaker 1: he was warring with such words and thoughts, something happened
- 10:53Speaker 1: about him and behind him, something he had written about
- 10:56Speaker 1: a hundred times and read about a thousand, something he
- 11:00Speaker 1: had never seen in his life. It flung faintly across
- 11:04Speaker 1: the broad foliage, a wan and pearly light, far more
- 11:07Speaker 1: mysterious than the lost moonshine. It seemed to enter through
- 11:12Speaker 1: all the doors and windows of the woodland, pale and silent,
- 11:16Speaker 1: but confident, like men that keep a tryst. Soon its
- 11:20Speaker 1: white robes had threads of gold and scarlet, and the
- 11:23Speaker 1: name of it was morning. For some time past loud
- 11:28Speaker 1: and in vain, all the birds had been singing to
- 11:30Speaker 1: the poet of the birds. But when that minstrel actually
- 11:34Speaker 1: saw a broad daylight breaking over wood and road, the
- 11:37Speaker 1: effect on him was somewhat curious. He stood staring at
- 11:41Speaker 1: it in gaping astonishment until it had fulfilled the fullness
- 11:45Speaker 1: of its shining fate. And the pine cones and the
- 11:48Speaker 1: curling ferns, and the live donkey and the dead viper
- 11:52Speaker 1: were almost as distinct as they could be at noon,
- 11:55Speaker 1: or even in a pre Raphaelite picture. And then the
- 11:59Speaker 1: fourth moon fell upon him like a bolt from the blue,
- 12:02Speaker 1: and he strode across and took the donkey's bridle as
- 12:06Speaker 1: if to lead it along. Damn it all, he cried,
- 12:11Speaker 1: in a voice as cheerful as the cock crow that
- 12:14Speaker 1: rang recently from the remote village. It's not everybody who's
- 12:17Speaker 1: killed a snake. Then he added, reflectively, I bet doctor
- 12:22Speaker 1: Gluck never did come along. Donkey. Let's have some adventures,
- 12:27Speaker 1: the finding and fighting of positive evil is the beginning
- 12:30Speaker 1: of all fun, and even of all farce. All the
- 12:33Speaker 1: wild woodland looked jolly now the snake was killed. It
- 12:37Speaker 1: was one of the fallacies of his literary clik to
- 12:40Speaker 1: refer all natural emotions to literary names. But it might
- 12:45Speaker 1: not untruly be said that he had passed out of
- 12:47Speaker 1: the mood of Materlink into the mood of Whitman, and
- 12:50Speaker 1: out of the mood of Whitman into the mood of Stevenson.
- 12:54Speaker 1: He had not been a hypocrite when he asked for
- 12:57Speaker 1: gilded birds of Asia or purple polype out of the
- 13:00Speaker 1: southern seas. He was not a hypocrite now when he
- 13:05Speaker 1: asked for mere comic adventures along a common English road.
- 13:09Speaker 1: It was his misfortune and not his fault, if his
- 13:12Speaker 1: first adventure was his last, and was much too comic
- 13:16Speaker 1: to laugh at. Already the one morning had warmed into
- 13:20Speaker 1: a pale blue and was spotted with those little, plump,
- 13:23Speaker 1: pink clouds, which must surely have been the origin of
- 13:26Speaker 1: the story that pigs might fly. The insects of the
- 13:30Speaker 1: grass chattered so cheerfully that every green tongue seemed to
- 13:34Speaker 1: be talking the sky line. On every side was broken
- 13:38Speaker 1: only by objects that encouraged such swash bucklering comedy. There
- 13:44Speaker 1: was a windmill that Chaucer's miller might have inhabited, or
- 13:48Speaker 1: Savante's champion charged. There was an old leaden church spire
- 13:54Speaker 1: that might have been climbed by Robert Clive, away toward
- 13:58Speaker 1: Pebblewick and the sea. There were the few broken stumps
- 14:00Speaker 1: of wood which Humphrey Pump declares to this day to
- 14:04Speaker 1: have been the stands for an unsuccessful children's swing, but
- 14:08Speaker 1: which tourists always accept as the remains of the antique gallows.
- 14:13Speaker 1: In the gayety of such surroundings, it a small wonder
- 14:16Speaker 1: if Dorian and the donkey stepped briskly along the road,
- 14:21Speaker 1: the very donkey reminded him of Sancho Panza. He did
- 14:25Speaker 1: not wake out of this boisterous reverie of the white
- 14:27Speaker 1: road and the wind till a motor horn had first
- 14:31Speaker 1: hooted and then howled, till the ground had shaken with
- 14:34Speaker 1: the shock of a stoppage, until a human hand fell
- 14:38Speaker 1: heavily and tightly on his shoulder. He looked up and
- 14:42Speaker 1: saw the complete costume of a police inspector. He did
- 14:46Speaker 1: not worry about the face, and there fell on him
- 14:49Speaker 1: the fifth or unexpected mood, which is called by the
- 14:52Speaker 1: vulgar astonishment. In despair, he looked at the motor car
- 14:57Speaker 1: itself that had anchored so abruptly under the oper said Hedge.
- 15:02Speaker 1: The man at the steering wheel was so erect and
- 15:05Speaker 1: unresponsive that Dorian felt sure he was feasting his eyes
- 15:08Speaker 1: on yet another policeman. But on the seat behind was
- 15:12Speaker 1: a very different figure, a figure that baffled him all
- 15:16Speaker 1: the more because he felt certain he had seen it somewhere.
- 15:19Speaker 1: The figure was long and slim, with sloping shoulders, and
- 15:23Speaker 1: the costume, which was untidy yet contrived to give the
- 15:26Speaker 1: impression that it was tidy on other occasions. The individual
- 15:31Speaker 1: had bright yellow hair, one lock of which stuck straight
- 15:35Speaker 1: up and was exalted, like the little horn in his
- 15:38Speaker 1: favorite scriptures. Another tuft of it, in a bright but
- 15:42Speaker 1: blinding manner, fell across and obscured the left optic, as
- 15:47Speaker 1: in literal fulfillment of the parable of a beam in
- 15:49Speaker 1: the eye. The eyes, with or without beams in them,
- 15:53Speaker 1: looked a little bewildered, and the individual was always nervously
- 15:57Speaker 1: resettling his necktie. For the individual went by the name
- 16:02Speaker 1: of Hibbs, and had only recently recovered from experiences wholly
- 16:06Speaker 1: new to him. What on earth do you want, asked
- 16:11Speaker 1: Wimpole of the policeman. His innocent and startled face and
- 16:16Speaker 1: perhaps other things about his appearance evidently caused the inspector
- 16:20Speaker 1: to waver, Well, it's about this here, donkey, sir, he said,
- 16:25Speaker 1: Do you think I stole it? Cried the indignant aristocrat. Well,
- 16:30Speaker 1: of all the mad worlds, a pack of thieves steal
- 16:32Speaker 1: my limousine. I save their damned donkey's life at the
- 16:35Speaker 1: risk of my own, and I'm run in for stealing
- 16:39Speaker 1: the clothes of the indignant aristocrat probably spoke louder than
- 16:43Speaker 1: his tongue. The officer dropped his hand, and, after consulting
- 16:47Speaker 1: some papers in his hand, walked across to consult with
- 16:50Speaker 1: the unkempt gentleman. Gentleman in the car that seems to
- 16:55Speaker 1: be a similar cart and donkey Duron heard him saying,
- 16:58Speaker 1: but the clothes don't seem to fit your description of
- 17:01Speaker 1: the men you saw. Now, mister Hibbs had extremely vague
- 17:05Speaker 1: and wild recollections of the men he saw. He could
- 17:08Speaker 1: not even tell what he had done and what he
- 17:10Speaker 1: had merely dreamed. If he had spoken sincerely, he would
- 17:14Speaker 1: have described a sort of green nightmare of forests, in
- 17:17Speaker 1: which he found himself in the power of an ogre
- 17:20Speaker 1: about twelve feet high, with scarlet flames for hair, and
- 17:24Speaker 1: dressed rather like Robin Hood. But a long course of
- 17:28Speaker 1: what is known as keeping the party together had made
- 17:31Speaker 1: it as unnatural to him to tell any one, even himself,
- 17:34Speaker 1: what he really thought about anything, as it would have
- 17:37Speaker 1: been to spit or to sing. He had at present
- 17:41Speaker 1: only three motives and strong resolves. One not to admit
- 17:45Speaker 1: that he had been drunk, two not to let any
- 17:49Speaker 1: one escape whom Lord Ivywood might possibly want to question,
- 17:54Speaker 1: and three not to lose his reputation for sagacity and tact.
- 17:59Speaker 1: This party has a brown velvet suit, you see, and
- 18:02Speaker 1: a fur overcoat, the inspector continued, And in the notes
- 18:05Speaker 1: I have from you, you say the man wore a uniform.
- 18:09Speaker 1: When we say uniform, said mister Hibbs, frowning intellectually. When
- 18:12Speaker 1: we say uniform, of course, we must distinguish some of
- 18:16Speaker 1: our friends who don't quite see eye to eye with us,
- 18:19Speaker 1: you know, and he smiled with tender leniency. Some of
- 18:23Speaker 1: our friends wouldn't like it called a uniform perhaps, But
- 18:27Speaker 1: of course, well it wasn't a police uniform, for instance.
- 18:31Speaker 1: Ha ha, I should hope not, said the official shortly.
- 18:37Speaker 1: So in a way, however, said Hibbs, clutching his verbal talisman.
- 18:42Speaker 1: At last, it might be brown velvet in the dark.
- 18:47Speaker 1: The inspector replied to this helpful suggestion with some wonder.
- 18:51Speaker 1: But it was a moon like limelight, he protested. Yours, yars,
- 18:57Speaker 1: cried Hibbs, in a high tone that can only be
- 19:00Speaker 1: described as a hasty drawl. Yars discolors everything, of course,
- 19:04Speaker 1: the flowers and things. But look here, said the inspector.
- 19:07Speaker 1: You said, the principal man's hair was red, A blonde type.
- 19:11Speaker 1: A blonde type, said Hibbs, waving his hand, with a
- 19:13Speaker 1: solemn lightness. Reddish yellowish, brownish sort of hair, you know.
- 19:18Speaker 1: Then he shook his head and said, with the heaviest solemnity,
- 19:20Speaker 1: the word was capable of carrying teutonic, purely teutonic. The
- 19:26Speaker 1: inspector began to feel some wonder that, even in the
- 19:30Speaker 1: confusion following on Lord Ivywood's fall, he had been put
- 19:34Speaker 1: under the guidance of this particular guide. The truth was
- 19:38Speaker 1: that Levison, once more, masking his own fears under his
- 19:41Speaker 1: usual parade of hurry, had found Hibs at a table
- 19:44Speaker 1: by an open window, with wild hair and sleepy eyes,
- 19:47Speaker 1: picking himself up with some sort of medicine. Finding him
- 19:52Speaker 1: already fairly clear headed in a dreary way, he had
- 19:55Speaker 1: not scrupled to use the remains of his bewilderment to
- 19:58Speaker 1: despatch him with the police in first pursuit. Even the
- 20:03Speaker 1: mind of a semi recovered drunkard, he thought, could be
- 20:05Speaker 1: trusted to recognize any one so unmistakable as the captain.
- 20:10Speaker 1: But though the diplomatist Debauch was barely over his strange
- 20:15Speaker 1: soft fear and cunning were awake. He felt fairly certain
- 20:20Speaker 1: the man in the fur coat had something to do
- 20:22Speaker 1: with the mystery, as men with fur coats do not
- 20:25Speaker 1: commonly wander about with donkeys. He was afraid of offending
- 20:29Speaker 1: Lord Ivywood, and at the same time afraid of exposing
- 20:32Speaker 1: himself to a policeman. You have large discretion, he said, gravely,
- 20:38Speaker 1: very right, you should have large discretion in the interests
- 20:41Speaker 1: of the public. I think you would be quite authorized
- 20:44Speaker 1: for the present in preventing the man's escape and the
- 20:48Speaker 1: other man, inquired the officer with knitted brow, do you
- 20:52Speaker 1: suppose he has escaped? The other man repeated Hibbs, however,
- 20:56Speaker 1: regarding the distant windmill through the half closed lids, as
- 21:00Speaker 1: if this were a new fine shade introduced into an
- 21:03Speaker 1: already delicate question. Well, hang it all, said the police officer.
- 21:08Speaker 1: You must know whether there were two men or one.
- 21:11Speaker 1: Gradually it dawned in a great dawn of horror over
- 21:15Speaker 1: the brain of Hibs that this was what he specially
- 21:18Speaker 1: couldn't know. He had always heard and read in comic
- 21:22Speaker 1: papers that a drunken man sees double and beholds two
- 21:26Speaker 1: lamp posts, one of which is, as the higher critic
- 21:29Speaker 1: would have said, purely subjective. For all he knew, being
- 21:34Speaker 1: a mere novice inebriation might produce the impression of the
- 21:37Speaker 1: two men in his dreamlike adventure, when in truth there
- 21:42Speaker 1: had only been one two men. You know, one man,
- 21:47Speaker 1: he said, with a sort of moody carelessness. Well, we
- 21:50Speaker 1: can go into their numbers later. They can't have a
- 21:54Speaker 1: very large following here, He shook his head very firmly.
- 21:58Speaker 1: Quite impossible, And, as the late Lord Gushen used to say,
- 22:02Speaker 1: you can prove anything by statistics. And here came an
- 22:06Speaker 1: interruption from the other side of the road. And how
- 22:10Speaker 1: long am I to wait here for you and your goshins,
- 22:12Speaker 1: you silly goat, were the intemperate wood notes, issuing from
- 22:16Speaker 1: the poet of the birds. I'm shot if I'll stand this,
- 22:20Speaker 1: Come along, donkey, and let's pray for a better adventure
- 22:23Speaker 1: next time. These are very inferior specimens of your own race.
- 22:28Speaker 1: And seizing the bridle of the ass again, he strode
- 22:31Speaker 1: past them, swiftly and almost as if urging the animal
- 22:34Speaker 1: to gallop. Unfortunately, this disdainful dash for liberty was precisely
- 22:40Speaker 1: what was wanting to weigh down the rocking intelligence of
- 22:43Speaker 1: the inspector on the wrong side. If Wimpole had stood
- 22:47Speaker 1: still a minute or two longer, the official, who was
- 22:50Speaker 1: no fool, might have ended in disbelieving Hibbs's story altogether.
- 22:56Speaker 1: As it was, there was a scuffle, not without blows
- 22:59Speaker 1: on both sid sides, and eventually the Honorable Dorian Whimpole,
- 23:04Speaker 1: Donkey and all was marched off to the village in
- 23:07Speaker 1: which there was a police station, in which was a
- 23:10Speaker 1: temporary cell in which a sixth mood was experienced. His
- 23:16Speaker 1: complaints however, were at once so clamorous and so convincing,
- 23:21Speaker 1: and his coat was so unquestionably covered with fur, that,
- 23:25Speaker 1: after some questioning and cross purposes, they agreed to take
- 23:28Speaker 1: him in the afternoon to ivywood House, where there was
- 23:31Speaker 1: a magistrate incapacitated by a shot only recently extracted from
- 23:35Speaker 1: his leg. They found Lord Ivywood lying on a purple
- 23:41Speaker 1: ottoman in the midst of his Chinese puzzle of oriental apartments.
- 23:46Speaker 1: He continued to look away as they entered, as if
- 23:49Speaker 1: expecting with Roman calm, the entrance of a recognized enemy.
- 23:54Speaker 1: But Lady Enid Wimpole, who was attending to the wants
- 23:57Speaker 1: of the invalid, gave a sharp cry of a astonishment,
- 24:01Speaker 1: and the next moment the three cousins were looking at
- 24:03Speaker 1: each other. One could almost have guessed they were cousins,
- 24:08Speaker 1: all being, as mister Hibs subtly put it, a blonde type.
- 24:12Speaker 1: But two of the blonde types expressed amazement, and one
- 24:16Speaker 1: blonde type merely rage. I am sorry, Dorian, said Ivywood,
- 24:21Speaker 1: when he had heard the whole story. These fanatics are
- 24:24Speaker 1: capable of anything I fear, and you very rightly resent
- 24:27Speaker 1: their stealing your car. You are wrong, Philip answered the
- 24:31Speaker 1: poet emphatically. I do not even faintly resent their stealing
- 24:34Speaker 1: my car. What I do resent is the continued existence
- 24:38Speaker 1: on God's Earth of this fool pointing to the serious Hibbs,
- 24:44Speaker 1: and of that fool pointing to the Inspector. And yes,
- 24:49Speaker 1: by thunder, of that fool too, And he pointed straight
- 24:53Speaker 1: at Lord Ivywood. And I tell you, frankly, Philip, if
- 24:57Speaker 1: there really are, as you say, two men who are
- 25:00Speaker 1: bent on smashing your schemes and making your life a hell,
- 25:04Speaker 1: I am very happy to put my car at their disposal.
- 25:07Speaker 1: And now I'm off. You'll stop to dinner, inquired Ivywood,
- 25:12Speaker 1: with frigid forgiveness. No thanks, said the disappearing Bard. I'm
- 25:17Speaker 1: going up to town. The seventh Mood of Dorian Wimpole
- 25:22Speaker 1: had a grand finale at the Cafe Royal and consisted
- 25:27Speaker 1: largely of oysters. End of chapter sixteen