Latest / Draft Offsides Podcast / Japanese Toilets, Trades on Shrooms and Most Handsome Dempsey

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Japanese Toilets, Trades on Shrooms and Most Handsome Dempsey · Draft Offsides Podcast

• 0:00
  Why didn't you go to the bamboo forest?
• 0:02
  I didn't want to go to the bamboo forest.
• 0:05
  I didn't have time, mate. Look, I think, yeah, I literally
• 0:07
  just got back in Kyoto last night, right?
• 0:10
  Where are you now? You're in Tokyo now I'm.
• 0:11
  Back in Tokyo. Yes, just go back today.
• 0:15
  No, I got I got things to do in Shibuya and fucking Kinza.
• 0:20
  I'm going to try to find some jerseys out here.
• 0:22
  That's what I'm going to try to do.
• 0:24
  I saw the Japan New Jersey. I'm I'm not really fan of Adidas
• 0:31
  tough be honest like jersey wise for Japan I like the bear.
• 0:35
  When they were what was it? Was it Kappa?
• 0:38
  When they had the cap, was it Kappa?
• 0:40
  Oh, the old cap isn't so cool. Yeah.
• 0:43
  And that one, Bros. You should try and go to a weird
• 0:46
  1. You should try and go to a
• 0:47
  baseball game if there's baseball season's on.
• 0:49
  Me, I was gonna I just a no bro. You should have seen the price
• 0:53
  of the tick. There's so many Dodger fans
• 0:54
  here. You.
• 0:55
  All got those Sikora flower jerseys going on.
• 0:58
  Those fans here too, those are yourself are insane.
• 1:02
  Yeah. Ridiculous.
• 1:03
  Ridiculous. I found Pokémon cards, aren't
• 1:06
  you? Go to summer wrestling thing.
• 1:10
  I got look, I've got I have an itinerary, mate.
• 1:13
  I can't. I made jeans.
• 1:16
  I made some salvage denim, which was cool as hell.
• 1:18
  I didn't make much put in the rivets.
• 1:20
  It's fun. Yeah.
• 1:21
  Did you put in the gemstones in there too to make it flashy?
• 1:27
  I may put Dragons on the pockets.
• 1:30
  Is there a Unicorn on there? It's a stallion, but yeah, the
• 1:37
  food's been amazing. How awesome is How awesome is
• 1:40
  Tokyo? Dude.
• 1:42
  I don't like why? Why do I?
• 1:44
  Why don't I just live here? When I came back my first
• 1:49
  thought was American don't deserve America.
• 1:53
  It's fucking crazy. It's so nice here and they're up
• 1:57
  to like nothing opens till late so everyone fucking sleeps in
• 2:00
  basically and then everything's open.
• 2:02
  I'm in Shinjuku right now. It's fucking lively here till
• 2:04
  like 5 in the fucking morning. I'm waking up at 3/30, 4:00 in
• 2:08
  the morning. I lookout my window and it's
• 2:10
  fucking a bunch of people outside just.
• 2:11
  Chilling, when do you come back? 30th.
• 2:17
  Oh sure, you're there for like 2 more weeks.
• 2:18
  Oh, no way. You're going to other places.
• 2:20
  I'm going to Korea on Friday, so I'm in Korea and Seoul and then
• 2:24
  I'm going to go to the Philippines for a couple of days
• 2:26
  and. Then you could do something like
• 2:28
  shopping for a high end stuff too, like louver tennis and
• 2:30
  products and shit. It's very cheap there.
• 2:33
  Yeah, we went to went to a vintage place that she got my
• 2:37
  wife got something quite nice. Not really my not really my
• 2:40
  style. So I went.
• 2:41
  So she's she's done a couple high end stuff I've got myself
• 2:44
  like Uniqlo, cheap as hell. I love it.
• 2:46
  I love the Uniqlo goo. We've done a cold Japanese
• 2:51
  brands. Today's the Japanese Brand Day,
• 2:52
  so we're going back to Beams Tokyo Public.
• 2:57
  Do you know the brand theory? Yeah.
• 3:00
  You know Uniquel owns it. No.
• 3:03
  Yes, really. Cool, nice.
• 3:06
  Well, that's what that's the plan today.
• 3:07
  And I'm going to eat some some more sushi.
• 3:09
  Dude, the food's been fucking ridiculous.
• 3:11
  Go to the fish market, you could get like literally like fresh
• 3:14
  sushi like as they cut it up and get it.
• 3:16
  So ridiculous. So ridiculous.
• 3:19
  Can't wait. All right, sorry, I made the
• 3:21
  fire for my wife. Yeah, look what I have created.
• 3:26
  I have made fire have made. Fire and started falling out of
• 3:33
  the fire pit and she didn't. I make fire, make fire.
• 3:41
  How easy these days. So freaking gasoline in a match?
• 3:44
  Here you go. I thought you actually chopped
• 3:47
  the wood. No, the one's already chopped.
• 3:52
  He just, he just pressed on. It was in the fireplace.
• 4:00
  The way I pictured was Keith was topless in the forest.
• 4:03
  I should have left. That illusion.
• 4:06
  Is that what you were thinking about when you made that trade
• 4:10
  with me that late at? Night, Yeah.
• 4:17
  Was that wrong? You know.
• 4:19
  So Tika figured it out. We're good.
• 4:21
  Yeah, but you know what does that get me?
• 4:23
  Nothing. Yeah, that's for.
• 4:27
  Sure, keep. I've got a question.
• 4:29
  Who's the 1st? Handsome Dempsey?
• 4:31
  You. Think.
• 4:32
  The third one got married. It's because the, my, my cousin
• 4:37
  that got married asked his wife's grandma who the most
• 4:41
  handsome Dempsey was. And she said, Karen, who's my 8
• 4:44
  year old brother. And then she said, and then your
• 4:46
  cousin Quinn, who's like some like 39 year old dude and just
• 4:49
  good looking. And then you, Sean, you're the
• 4:51
  third most handsome ducks comparing his, his, her
• 4:55
  granddaughter, that woman's granddaughter that said that.
• 4:57
  How, how could you even like, deny that from that?
• 5:00
  Like you couldn't, You can't. You can't say nothing.
• 5:01
  All right, I. Mean no, that's just pure
• 5:03
  honesty, like she has nothing to she was.
• 5:05
  Like nothing to lose whatsoever. Sorry it's your wedding weekend,
• 5:09
  you're not too much handsome. I also wasn't there when this
• 5:12
  happened so she didn't really get a chance to lay out on me so
• 5:15
  I don't know. He might be the 4th, you know.
• 5:21
  Gotcha. All right, man.
• 5:23
  OK. So anything else you want to
• 5:24
  talk about with this, with this incident that happened?
• 5:26
  Are you just you've accepted it? I mean I see both sides of it.
• 5:31
  If it was me, I probably would have not accepted a trader.
• 5:34
  Traded it back. Interesting you think?
• 5:37
  Wait. Wait, wait.
• 5:39
  Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
• 5:41
  I smell bullshit and it's coming straightly from Tico's camera.
• 5:45
  It's bullshit. No, I mean clearly it's a
• 5:49
  mistake. Especially, why would I trade
• 5:51
  for a player that he's about to be benched in what, couple of
• 5:54
  weeks? I'm sorry, look, I don't know, I
• 5:57
  live in a league where I see fucking some bombastic trades go
• 6:01
  sideways. I've seen Holland be traded for
• 6:03
  like a whole team, which look ridiculous to me.
• 6:07
  OK, correct, but. I've seen Odegaard and Bruno
• 6:10
  being used like fucking dirty money and switch between the
• 6:14
  same person three times. It is what it is.
• 6:22
  OK, but all I'm saying is from the trade part of it, I know
• 6:27
  other people made uh trades, but if you look at my trade history,
• 6:31
  I don't usually, you know, make these type of trends what
• 6:35
  essentially happened. No, this is what happened.
• 6:36
  So I sent out the text message after Cole Palmer had a shitty
• 6:39
  game and I said, is the buy low window open for Cole Palmer?
• 6:43
  And I said, let me piss off Keith some more and set the
• 6:45
  trade offer. Obviously lowball him and I was
• 6:48
  supposed to put 12 FAB as well, but I just didn't click the
• 6:50
  submit for the FAB and yeah, so instead of I said the Chelsea
• 6:55
  logo, I clicked on the wrong Chelsea player.
• 6:59
  Can I can I ask you what kind of frame of mind were you in when
• 7:02
  you did this? You know, I was in Amsterdam,
• 7:06
  There was a lot of alcohol, there was a lot of marijuana.
• 7:13
  So this is this. Couple of happy mushrooms.
• 7:16
  See, this is already like, you know, this is what you get for
• 7:20
  doing what you did. That's the action made.
• 7:24
  I mean, it is what it is what it is, but also I don't believe I
• 7:29
  could win the league without what's his face, Luis Diaz,
• 7:33
  because even though he's obviously valuable fantasy
• 7:36
  player, it's pretty one of those inconsistent either 30 points or
• 7:39
  two, three points and there's what, 10 games left and I just
• 7:43
  need to win seven of them. 99, So I need to win seven of them.
• 7:48
  And this week I lost this week, but this was a given loss for me
• 7:50
  because I had A and I had two think players, yeah, Villa,
• 7:58
  Villa players and also Cunha still suspended.
• 8:00
  And I was going against Manchester United, playing
• 8:02
  Leicester City. So this week wasn't worried
• 8:05
  about that. So by my calculation, I need to
• 8:08
  win 6-7 games. I should be fine.
• 8:13
  Keith, I am rooting for you. I am fucking rooting for you,
• 8:16
  Keith. I don't want that.
• 8:18
  Why? Because I don't want you to win.
• 8:20
  Why? Piece of shit.
• 8:23
  So is. Keith, he's.
• 8:24
  Just not, uh, out and about about it.
• 8:26
  It just comes out whenever it's convenient.
• 8:28
  It's. Fucking if I win the league,
• 8:30
  I'll. Probably become a piece of shit,
• 8:32
  let's be honest. Yeah, Yep.
• 8:33
  I won't mind seeing that. I'm fine with it because you has
• 8:37
  some empathy. No, no, Keith, empathy.
• 8:39
  That guy right down there has no fucking empathy.
• 8:41
  The known piece of shit is better than the unknown piece of
• 8:44
  shit. The thing for me, Chico, is that
• 8:52
  like if it was like a genuine mistake in the middle of the day
• 8:55
  or something, I would understood, But like the fact
• 8:56
  that you went home fucked up and like we're laying in bed,
• 8:59
  probably being like, oh, what I need to do before I go to sleep
• 9:01
  tonight. I'm shine rub went out.
• 9:03
  No, no, no, I don't need to. I don't really help me go to bed
• 9:09
  tonight. And that's what you did.
• 9:10
  And imagine you falling asleep with a smile on your face as
• 9:12
  your phone is. You were just you probably too
• 9:15
  up to put your phone away. You.
• 9:18
  Know I found out is I was going through the test was like do you
• 9:20
  go just trade friend Kuko I'm like fuck I did and then I go
• 9:23
  into app Oh my. God, that's so funny.
• 9:29
  Yeah, I also, I respect that you aren't like throwing a complete
• 9:33
  kind of shit, but you, you recognize that it's you kind of.
• 9:36
  It's a monster. You created this.
• 9:37
  You created. This.
• 9:37
  No, yeah, no, I'm just, you created that.
• 9:41
  I'm a better human being and I would have traded back, but you
• 9:43
  know. Well, I think I actually
• 9:44
  probably would have, but Enzo talked me out of it last
• 9:46
  episode. So that's what I heard.
• 9:47
  I heard Sergey and Enzo would talk you out of it because
• 9:52
  they're pieces of shits. Yeah, so I think I might have
• 9:55
  done it then. But then they kind of got me
• 9:56
  going. And then I I built the narrative
• 9:58
  in my head. I needed to to like to make.
• 10:01
  You know, what's funny is I knew that that's what was going to
• 10:03
  happen, so I wanted to wake up for the podcast, but it was like
• 10:05
  at 3:00 or 4:00 AM my time. I was an Amsterdam at the time
• 10:09
  and while traveling, you know, doing all that stuff, waking up
• 10:12
  in the middle of the night, and I was also with someone, so I
• 10:15
  was supposed to go to like the restroom and like, whisper into
• 10:18
  them. Gave me back loose the ass I'm
• 10:20
  gonna. Fucking kill you.
• 10:30
  Get out of here. I can't hear you go and echo.
• 10:37
  Come to your house and we'll find you.
• 10:41
  How long are you in Portugal? Yeah, we were in.
• 10:45
  Spain and then we just got to Portugal today and then we're
• 10:48
  here until like the 19th or the 20 or the 22nd.
• 10:52
  And then we're gonna maybe go to Spain, go back to majority or we
• 10:56
  might go to, we might just stay here, make a, we kind of just
• 11:00
  left it open at the end, so. Are you in Lisbon or Porto?
• 11:05
  We're in. We're actually in a small town
• 11:07
  right now, like like in the countryside, like kind of on the
• 11:10
  coast. Sounds like Keef right there.
• 11:11
  It's very, very hipster of you. Yeah.
• 11:13
  You know we're. Going to go to Lisbon in a few
• 11:16
  days. I I fucking love Portugal, it's
• 11:18
  amazing, really good food. Really good food and really
• 11:21
  cheap. On the bucket list.
• 11:24
  Baro Alto. That's the area where, like,
• 11:27
  everyone's out drinking. Oh yeah.
• 11:30
  Are you going to catch another? What's that?
• 11:33
  In Lisbon. Yeah, in Lisbon, yeah.
• 11:35
  Are you going to catch any other football matches or it was just
• 11:38
  one of? That was just so cool.
• 11:41
  That was what was cool. Gone.
• 11:43
  The game that you went to, that's cool that you went to, to
• 11:46
  Sevilla, you said, Yeah. Yeah, it was the I was going to
• 11:50
  see Nico Williams like the build That build out team is pretty
• 11:52
  cool. Yeah, I went to a Champions
• 11:54
  League game you don't see. Oh, that's why you went to a
• 11:57
  Champions League game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:58
  That was a good game too. Nice.
• 12:01
  The German fans were insane. Yeah, it was kind of surprising.
• 12:04
  The biggest one for me actually is that the it's international
• 12:06
  break, you know, that starts now and so there's not really games.
• 12:10
  No, yeah. That's true.
• 12:11
  And the other bummer is that like the the one time that
• 12:14
  there's like the US is playing and that was the Nations League
• 12:17
  and like those are games I'd love to watch, but they're on it
• 12:19
  like so late here. It's like I can't even watch
• 12:22
  them. Like the one time that I'm like
• 12:23
  in the convenient place to watch the best soccer.
• 12:25
  It's like not convenient to watch it.
• 12:28
  I just check the Portugal schedule, they play on the 20
• 12:31
  but it's an away game. Yeah, I where they where, Who
• 12:36
  are they playing? Denmark.
• 12:39
  That would be cool. Yeah.
• 12:42
  Yeah, possibly. See Hoagland in person.
• 12:46
  No. Isn't that no, Is he?
• 12:48
  He's not that Danish? Is he Danish?
• 12:50
  I think he's Danish. Who?
• 12:52
  Hoagland, Hoagland. He's I think it's is Ericsson
• 12:58
  Ericsson's Danish. Is Danish, so is yeah.
• 13:03
  Isn't it the? Also, would it be if Odegard,
• 13:08
  Demsgard and Norgard were on the same team?
• 13:11
  Are. They not.
• 13:14
  For club. For club with.
• 13:17
  Holland, right? There you go.
• 13:20
  No, never mind. Odegard plays for.
• 13:22
  He's the. Swedish.
• 13:23
  No Norwegian. Norwegian What's?
• 13:26
  Holland Is he not Norwegian? Norwegian.
• 13:32
  Yeah, that's. A big team.
• 13:35
  Right. Good call.
• 13:37
  But they I'm trust they didn't qualify for them.
• 13:39
  They're like, not quite. There because the rest of the
• 13:40
  team is not to the caliber. Let's see how many players I
• 13:45
  know in the Norway national team.
• 13:46
  That was diplomatic right there. You see that, Tigger?
• 13:52
  Asia's a Premier League player. I mean, they have players from,
• 13:56
  they have a Dortmund defender, they have a Brentford defender,
• 13:59
  they obviously have order guard Sander Berg from Fulham.
• 14:03
  He's been good. And how awesome is it?
• 14:08
  How awesome is it taking a shit in Japan?
• 14:11
  It's like my favorite thing ever, dude.
• 14:14
  I don't, I don't know how I, I, I come out there like godly, you
• 14:18
  know what I mean? Yeah, I'm when you come back,
• 14:20
  that's going to be the biggest adjustment.
• 14:23
  Like it's just, you know, I'm going to miss that sound every
• 14:30
  time. The sea warmers.
• 14:31
  Oh my God. Oh my God, yeah, man.
• 14:34
  I sit down and I go, oh, I go. Oh.
• 14:38
  You can't let everyone leave. And the episode on.
• 14:45
  Oh yeah, you got to buy one of those toilets.
• 14:47
  Are you? Are you done with the toilet
• 14:48
  talk? Is it so you don't want to talk
• 14:50
  about your trade no more? OK, cool.
• 14:52
  Well, Keith is only two games behind Tico.
• 14:55
  I'm the third. But only see if I can.
• 14:57
  No, you're not a third. You're out of it.
• 14:59
  Huh. You're out of it.
• 15:01
  You're not 1/3. I'm in 3rd.
• 15:03
  Yeah, but you're out of the number one spot.
• 15:05
  I'm out of the number one spot. I didn't say what's up.
• 15:07
  I'm in 3rd. But I'm saying if we go over the
• 15:10
  last couple seasons, I have the best, I have the best scoring
• 15:13
  like gain on to the top three. So I don't think you hit.
• 15:17
  Did you hit top three last season?
• 15:19
  I'm I don't think, I think I dropped out late.
• 15:22
  So I came what I came third or second and one late.
• 15:25
  This is probably going to come second and third.
• 15:27
  You sound like a fucking goddamn Arsenal fan.
• 15:29
  Oh we finish top 4 every year? Get the hell out of here, I get.
• 15:32
  I like go game between. This date and this date exactly,
• 15:36
  then I would have won. If the season was between
• 15:39
  January 3rd and December 52nd, I would have won.
• 15:44
  Hey Keith, stop being, stop being an arse.
• 15:46
  We already know that you, you know, took advantage of Tico on
• 15:48
  that trade and you didn't give back.
• 15:50
  Oh, Dick. We don't play, we don't play
• 16:00
  each other next week. We play each other the following
• 16:01
  week, which is kind of game weeks.
• 16:04
  That's gonna be a big game and. Then I play Keith.
• 16:06
  Then I play Tico. Your team has been pretty shitty
• 16:10
  lately keeps so hopefully it stays that way.
• 16:12
  Yeah. That's true.
• 16:17
  I mean, I wish I could like rebuttal in some past.
• 16:20
  Well no, I mean he knows it's like scoring point wise has been
• 16:22
  pretty shitty. Well, I mean, now injured and
• 16:26
  this Palmer injury is actually a little alarming.
• 16:28
  It's like a little weirder. It's like a little vague.
• 16:30
  What's going on? There it says should be back.
• 16:33
  It's two weeks off. That's what they've been saying
• 16:35
  about Dwight McNeil and he's been gone for so long and so no
• 16:39
  promises there. That's what they said about
• 16:41
  trying to down to Arnold, who's also on my team, which?
• 16:44
  Is is he injured? He got injured in the he got
• 16:48
  injured at the last week. So he missed the final, the
• 16:50
  Caribou Cup final and then they they haven't announced like how
• 16:54
  bad it is. He will miss sometime after
• 16:56
  after the international break. And we just talk about how I've
• 16:59
  been stricken of injuries like, come on, man.
• 17:02
  Shut the job, man. Every every time someone else
• 17:05
  talks about injuries, you start cry me River, boohoo and now
• 17:08
  you're sitting over here. Get out of here, Illinois.
• 17:12
  And then you know the time difference and changing players
• 17:15
  here 10/30 12:00 AM is hard to do you know some how and.
• 17:18
  About 10:00 AM is hard to do. 1030 PM. 10:30 PM and 12:00 AM.
• 17:23
  You think it was easy in Amsterdam watching games at 4:00
• 17:25
  PM? Well, it must have been easy
• 17:27
  making trades, huh? They shut your mouth.
• 17:32
  OK, I'm not. I'll catch you guys later
• 17:35
  there's. No reason to be mean, that's a
• 17:41
  bad bow. Yes, those were his.
• 17:43
  Words shit, bow.