Latest / The HighDive / Ep. 8 | Stories of Hope | Processing Worry

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Ep. 8 | Stories of Hope | Processing Worry · The HighDive

0:09
SPEAKER_03: Well, hello and welcome back to the High Dive Podcast.
0:13
SPEAKER_03: We are so glad that you have found us or welcome back.
0:17
SPEAKER_03: Uh, the High Dive Podcast is a ministry of Calvary Baptist Church really designed for our church family to maybe take further steps in what we're studying on Sunday.
0:27
SPEAKER_03: But at the same time, this is on the internet.
0:30
SPEAKER_03: So no matter where you're from in the world, if we hope that you're blessed and encouraged by this, and uh feel free to reach out to us if if we can serve you in any way, or if you're not in our area and you need help connecting with a church near you, we would love to help you with that too.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: But uh we're in the middle of this little series, we're calling it stories of hope.
0:52
SPEAKER_03: So our our church is walking through psalms throughout the summer.
0:55
SPEAKER_03: So we're studying a psalm every Sunday, we're reading the Psalms and praying through this devotional experience, and it it's been incredible.
1:03
SPEAKER_03: So, so much of the Psalms, you know, Angel Anana, is giving us some sense of confidence and hope in our trouble.
1:11
SPEAKER_03: And so uh this series has really been just sitting with people in our church trying to learn from their story or learn from them how to navigate through trouble.
1:21
SPEAKER_03: So I'm really, really glad that you guys are with us today.
1:26
SPEAKER_03: Um, Angel and Anna Duarte, yay! Maybe uh I would love maybe just introduce yourself.
1:32
SPEAKER_03: Like, how long have you guys been a part of Calvary?
1:34
SPEAKER_03: How'd you get here?
1:36
SPEAKER_03: Some of that fun stuff.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: All right, so uh we have been members of Calvary uh for 32 years.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: 30 years.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: 32 years I'm counting.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: Uh we were the prodigals.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: Uh we left for a couple of years right there, and and and Ricky uh looked at me and said, Hey, why don't you coming home?
1:56
SPEAKER_01: So we did.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: We came back home right there, and we're we're glad to be here.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: So we're um parents of four kids.
2:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh we have uh adopted one additional uh kid, and then we have their in our in-laws, and then we have 13 grandkids, 11 blood, the other ones adopted another right there, and uh we are in a way to be great grandparents.
2:21
SPEAKER_05: That's exactly yes, yes, yes.
2:24
SPEAKER_03: Man, uh I have been around some of your family gatherings, and you just do an incredible job of knitting your family together.
2:33
SPEAKER_03: Is it is it still part of your like every Sunday lunch you're you're cooking?
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Every Sunday after church we have dinner, well, lunch together, and uh well it extends to dinner sometimes, but sure.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they all come to the house and we have fun, they're growing together.
2:50
SPEAKER_01: We love that and she can cook, yes, I love cooking, so that is her that has been her uh her love language, yes, which is to to you must eat.
3:01
SPEAKER_01: So if you come to the house, you will eat.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes, okay, don't matter what it is, and some people have tried to get out of it by going and you know, eating something outside because once again, we cook, uh she cooks typical food.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: So some people are going like, I don't know if I gonna like that right there.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: So they stop at Chick-fil-A or Burger King, well, not Chick-fil-A's club, but Burger King McDonald's, and then they drive by the house right there.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: It's like, nope, you gotta eat.
3:25
SPEAKER_03: That's right, you better eat again.
3:27
SPEAKER_03: Uh man, I'm so grateful.
3:29
SPEAKER_03: You guys have been influential leaders in our church for a long time.
3:33
SPEAKER_03: You're your family, you really set it.
3:36
SPEAKER_03: I'm not in any way trying to uh create this notion that you're perfect, but I just want you to hear from my heart how much I admire and appreciate your leadership, your influence, the example that you set uh in the in the way that you serve, um in the way that you do keep your family together.
3:56
SPEAKER_03: It's just absolutely beautiful.
3:58
SPEAKER_03: Um, but you guys have kind of it's almost like you're starting a second or third career, right?
4:03
SPEAKER_03: So you were you both retired and you went back to school and kind of tell us what you're doing now and maybe use that as a bridge to explain a little bit more about one of our incredible ministries.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: So um I have been one of those individuals that have been very introvert, uh, very quiet.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: Uh I know, don't laugh.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: It's giving you the story.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, once again.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: A long time ago.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: Very introvert to the point in which, as I started my career with a corporation here in town, uh, my management sent me to public speaking because I needed to be more team related and things like that right there.
4:42
SPEAKER_01: So I done that right there, and then uh spending there for about 20, 29 years, and then uh we retired, and then my wife goes like, because you know, many times I don't listen to the Holy Spirit.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: So I have a you know, psychic that made sure.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: So she goes, like, you know, you you probably need to look into counseling.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going like, what?
5:07
SPEAKER_01: They say, yep, you know, once again listening and doing all those things.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: So uh uh I was fortunate to be able to go to Liberty University, uh, got my master's degree in uh arts in counseling, and then um as I was completing my residence and out over there, um COVID and all that happened, and then our counseling center closed.
5:29
SPEAKER_01: So um it is my understanding that staff, some of the staff got sick, we have someone passed away.
5:36
SPEAKER_01: Uh, so it was a pretty sad uh season for the counseling center.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: Um and then uh as we came back home uh to Calvary, uh then we were given the opportunity to, hey, let's go back in there and open the counseling center and start uh see how we can uh work with our clients.
5:57
SPEAKER_01: Being the you know the the the starting of the process, we were kind of wondering, it's like, yeah, but uh, you know, how are we gonna build the clientele?
6:07
SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, you need marketing, you need all those things that everybody tells you to do.
6:12
SPEAKER_01: Well, as soon as we started, the telephone started ringing.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: And it had not stopped since then.
6:17
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we have been blessed to add additional staff to it, uh to the center.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: But yet, as a new staff comes in and wondering, hey, do we have enough clients come in?
6:28
SPEAKER_01: Then that staff member all of a sudden gets full, and it is like, okay, now we've got to start a new uh uh waiting list right there.
6:36
SPEAKER_01: But uh uh from my part, so one of the things that we do is we try to focus Anna and I in couples counseling, and um we do it together.
6:46
SPEAKER_01: So uh we have the couple coming in, and she and I are in the session, and we let them know we have different perspectives.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: So I come from a uh counseling licensing process, which is looking at the past.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: How does that past affect you?
7:01
SPEAKER_01: How is it uh that you came where you are today, and how all those things play in a factor into your life?
7:09
SPEAKER_01: And then I let her know where she, then you take it from there.
7:12
SPEAKER_01: Where is it that you take it?
7:13
SPEAKER_00: Then I look at the present and what are we gonna do to move forward, to change our life, to figure out what to do in the future, so our future is brighter and better.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: And uh I also bring the female perspective because people couples want to see that they have somebody on their side.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: So I bring the female perspective and he brings the male perspective.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: So it's really nice.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they don't the men don't realize how the woman feels about things, so it's good to bring it to the table.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
7:43
SPEAKER_03: And I just I'm so grateful for y'all's ministry.
7:46
SPEAKER_03: I admire the fact that you get to do it together.
7:49
SPEAKER_03: I thank you for the investment that you make in our counseling center.
7:52
SPEAKER_03: Some of you may not know, Columbus Christian Counseling Center exists as a ministry of Calvary Baptist Church and Calvary Ministries, and so it has been fun to see the number of counselors, both those that locally in the office, some in part of our our network, if we want to call it that, that uh connect with people online.
8:11
SPEAKER_03: And so it truly is a blessing.
8:13
SPEAKER_03: And I'm so grateful that our church has kind of stepped into this space because mental health is one of those things that a lot of people sadly are either fearful of, ignorant of, or just has a negative connotation or stigma to it.
8:30
SPEAKER_03: But it's it's part of how God has made us, and so it's part of what we need to do to process through and own it.
8:36
SPEAKER_03: And so I'm grateful for that, and I must um I guess maybe transition into that's largely why I ask you guys to be a part of this.
8:46
SPEAKER_03: So um this past Sunday in our sermon, we were going through uh Psalm 37, and uh Psalm 37 starts just with these thriple three simple words fret not yourself.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: And so okay, that gives us the opportunity, really forces us.
9:06
SPEAKER_03: What does it mean to fret?
9:08
SPEAKER_03: And what are some other words about worry, fear, anxiety?
9:12
SPEAKER_03: Um, and in the sermon we dealt with some of the kind of Bible phrasing of a response.
9:19
SPEAKER_03: Okay, don't fret.
9:20
SPEAKER_03: Well, if I stop doing this, what do I do need to start doing?
9:23
SPEAKER_03: And Psalm 37 encourages those like trust in the Lord, commit your ways to the Lord, be still before the Lord, wait patiently for the Lord.
9:32
SPEAKER_03: Uh, and so we unpack some of those things, but I would love to use that just as a as a high dive to borrow from your personal experience, your professional experience about worry, anxiety, and fear.
9:49
SPEAKER_03: And so I'd love to just maybe ask some questions to see to learn from you today.
9:54
SPEAKER_03: Um in your counseling work, like how do you even distinguish?
10:00
SPEAKER_03: Like, obviously, there's gotta be some side of we'll use the word concern that is normal.
10:07
SPEAKER_03: So, what how do you distinguish between what is normal concern or when it creeps over into fret or anxiety that's starting to control somebody?
10:18
SPEAKER_03: Like, what's the difference?
10:19
SPEAKER_01: So the first thing that we we share with our clients is uh let's let's identify what the word normal is.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: And uh we haven't found a definition because apparently we are not normal.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that is not uh that is not the case because we want to find the way that we look at it is we want to compare ourselves to something, uh, and if this is the normal, then in which side am I?
10:44
SPEAKER_01: You know, am I abnormal?
10:46
SPEAKER_01: What what is it?
10:47
SPEAKER_01: And that is not the case, you know.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: Once again, we just gotta be able to look at it as that is the way that we were built.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay, now our personal belief is that God created us in his image, but we are not where he wants us to be.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: We have not reached that, and we're not going to be able to reach it here.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: So, because of sin, uh some of these things have been distorted.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I look at whenever it comes down to fretting uh concerns, worry, and all that right there, like a continuum.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so you gotta be able to look at this bar right there and figure out where is it that I am?
11:24
SPEAKER_01: And something that we we talk to our clients about is our mental health vocabulary is very short, very small.
11:33
SPEAKER_01: So we need to be able to go back in there and actually understand what those words are because many times we misuse them.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Many times I go back in there and say, I am worried, where I am not.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm just concerned, you know.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: But depends what word I use, that is the intensity of that feeling right there, right?
11:52
SPEAKER_01: So whenever you look at that spectrum right there, I believe that we are to be concerned.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: We are to be concerned about everything that is going on in our world.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: We are concerned about everything that is going on in our church, with us individuals, with our families.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: We need to be able to be concerned.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: And there is a space in there for us to be able to be worried.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: But when everything moves from a concern to a worry, whenever I live into that world right there, now that's whenever things start kind of not balancing out right there, right?
12:22
SPEAKER_03: Makes sense.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: And and and that worry right there, uh, the way that we look at it is like you got a little bear and you start feeding the bear.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: So you got the concern, and it's cute.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: Ah, really nice another there.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: So you give him food another right there, and you continue giving him stuff to be concerned about it.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: So now suddenly the bear grows to a worry.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: But then you continue feeding that bear right there, and eventually it's gonna grow to anxiety, and then you're gonna have panic attacks, and you're gonna have all those things right there.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: So the idea right there is to be able to back it up and being able to figure out okay, from my point of view, is the concerns that I have keeping me awake, is the concerns that I have over taking my life.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
13:08
SPEAKER_01: Um can I not be in the present?
13:11
SPEAKER_01: Can I not be here, you know, listening to you and all that right there because I am thinking about these things?
13:17
SPEAKER_01: Then I know that I am worried.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: I have passed from the concern to the worry part right there, right?
13:22
SPEAKER_01: Whenever I don't have that peace, whenever I don't understand that listening concern is like I'm concerned for you, I want to help you out, I want to take care of you, I want to do all those things and all that there, but that cannot be with me the whole time.
13:37
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
13:38
SPEAKER_03: Can I re I want to repeat, make sure I'm hearing you correctly?
13:42
SPEAKER_03: Concern starts in a good place because it's almost like I'm caring.
13:47
SPEAKER_03: Because I care, I'm concerned.
13:49
SPEAKER_03: So I might ask questions, um, but it can grow on this spectrum from concern to I think you went uh worry and then anxiety and then panic.
14:03
SPEAKER_03: And at some point through that movement, it becomes more consuming in me.
14:09
SPEAKER_03: And you started to hint some of these things, but I'll I'll ask this how how does that, when we're moving into that worry and anxiety and panic, what are some physical ways those things start to show up in the body?
14:23
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: So uh, and I'm this is from experience.
14:26
SPEAKER_01: Uh, once again, we're in a broken world, so we ourselves are um, and I say broken because he has made me whole, but it's still that brokenness and sin, if I could say it.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: And by the way, thank you.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I I believe that many times whenever I speak, I tell clients, I say, if I speak too fast, uh words missing right there, please let me know.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: I will go back and say because no ego here is just that I know that my language sometimes I get too excited and it's got too well.
14:56
SPEAKER_02: You're doing great.
14:57
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: But um, yeah, you know, just going back to time, I know that uh worry for me has given me heart burns, you know, acid reflux right there, right?
15:10
SPEAKER_01: Um I lose sleep.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: Um I'm not able to, and it's a cycle, right?
15:15
SPEAKER_01: So you know you miss that sleep and all that right there, and then all of a sudden next day you iterable.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: Starts to snowball.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: There you go, and then you know, you're losing more sleep, and that cycle continues in there, right there.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: And we're trying to always tell people I say, you know, whenever you have these things going on, we want to make sure that you go see your physician.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: That way we can take care of all those physical things, make sure that there's nothing going on running there.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: But sometimes we find out that by the way that we change our mind, our thoughts, then those things will be taken care of.
15:47
SPEAKER_01: Okay, but we want to be able to start there, then move you here, give you the skill sets, the tools necessary for you to continuous grow in managing those concerns, those words, putting it in the right place right there.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: That way now you have less headaches.
16:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:03
SPEAKER_01: Headaches are not gonna go away, you're still gonna have you're gonna have less of those right there.
16:07
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have less heartburns, you're gonna have less tiredness, less irritability, you're gonna be able to concentrate a little bit more right there.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: So as we look at our body, we have to be able to uh to to see that God has intended for our body to alert us, right?
16:26
SPEAKER_01: Why do we get a temperature?
16:28
SPEAKER_01: Because you know, when a high temperature comes up, the body's saying, hey, there's an infection.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Hey, there's something going on in here that you need to see somebody that way they can give you medication and do something about it right there.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, well, it's the same thing about our our inner system right there, right?
16:44
SPEAKER_01: Whenever I start having all these headaches and I do not know where they're coming from, not over there, I need to be able to stop and say, Am I overwhelming my computer system by throwing so much information into it, by putting it into a place that it is not intended for it to live there?
17:01
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: So I'm I'm intended to yes, be concerned.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: There is times in which I need to be worried, but there is a time to be there.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: If I now make that my home, the place where I live, now things are gonna go alright.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: So our body is telling us that right there, right?
17:21
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, anytime that you you see something else going on, we we tell individuals I say, you notice whenever, let's say, for example, they anger.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: You know, whenever you get angry, all of a sudden your ears may start kind of burning, you start kind of getting flush, you know, you start cringing.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's the same thing whenever it comes down to worry right there, right?
17:42
SPEAKER_01: What is the things right there?
17:44
SPEAKER_01: Are you are you missing meals because you're worrying so much?
17:47
SPEAKER_01: You forgot to do that, you forgot to take your medications right there.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: How far is it taking you?
17:53
SPEAKER_01: You gotta be able to slow down on a dress those things.
17:56
SPEAKER_03: That's and and here's the the reality too.
17:59
SPEAKER_03: Uh part of that is beautiful, how God has knit us and created our mind, body, and spirit to all be interconnected.
18:08
SPEAKER_03: And I also realize on one side, everybody's a little different.
18:13
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, I may not get heartburned a bit, I might not sleep, and you might get heartburned, but you sleep just fine.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: You know, so I realize some of us, our bodies may react differently, but all the I loved that connection comparison to running a fever, like your body's telling you something is not normal.
18:31
SPEAKER_03: So I guess leading into the next question, then the reality is we all have had those sleepless nights, or we have all felt that nausea in our stomach or whatever.
18:44
SPEAKER_03: But at the same time, there are so many Christians that feel guilty that this is an issue.
18:51
SPEAKER_03: So, like, how would you respond to somebody who might then deal with those things, but then respond, like, well, if I really trusted God, I wouldn't feel this way?
19:02
SPEAKER_03: Like, how do you help somebody work through those thoughts from a Christian perspective?
19:08
SPEAKER_01: Well, the first thing that we do is we anyone that walks into the center, we let them know, thank you.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for stepping up, thank you for being able to understand that you need to be able to take care of yourself.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: You cannot take care of others before you take care of yourself.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: So thank you for opening up and sharing uh those fears with us right there, right?
19:31
SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, whenever once again it takes you being vulnerable, you know, and that's one of the reasons why you will see in canceling that you have a lot more ladies coming in than males because we're going like, I got it.
19:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, hey, I go into my cave and I'm good.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't need to go talk to this old guy or this woman right there about anything that's going on, that's my problem.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: What is everybody gonna think about it?
19:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm weakened this law right there.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: So we thank them.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: We say, you know, I mean, once again, thank you for coming in.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, we go back in there and get them to understand how is it that our society looks at mental health right there, right?
20:12
SPEAKER_01: How is it first how in our Christian world we look at mental health right there, right?
20:18
SPEAKER_01: And if I have a problem and, you know, I'm worried, I'm sure that one of my brothers and sisters with a caring heart will tell me, it's you know, brother, you probably need to pray a little bit more.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: You know, we probably need to annoy you with oil, and and we probably need to uh re-baptize you, and probably we need to give you more of the Holy Spirit and all that.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: And and and once again, I believe in the power of prayer.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: I believe, you know, that that there's answers in there, but I do know this right there, right?
20:48
SPEAKER_01: God created us for relationships, yes, all the way from Genesis in there right there.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: He's saying, Hey, I created Ricky, and he goes, like, this is not good, it's not good for Ricky to be alone.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna mess it up right there.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: I gotta bring him a helper right there, right?
21:04
SPEAKER_01: And there he goes, he brought Hillary right there, and now y'all walk together right there, right?
21:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad he did.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Same here right there, right?
21:14
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we we wanna make sure that they understand that listen, here on earth, we are to be Christ's representatives.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: So I'm here to give you what Christ is not giving you, which is that touch, that physical touch, the power of being there right there.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: So he's allowing us the opportunity to come beside you and love you through his love.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: Because I don't know you, you know, we just met and all that stuff right there, but I know that I love you because he is loving you.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: So I've becoming the vessel of being able to provide that to you.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: But who said that that if we have faith, we're not gonna struggle.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: Right.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: We are gonna struggle, we're gonna have emotions and we're gonna deal.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: With them.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: It's not that one thing is connected to the other one, you know.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: And that's one thing that we try to explain to our clients that because you are anxious, because you are worried, doesn't mean that you don't have enough faith.
22:13
SPEAKER_00: It's just that you're human and you are going to go through these emotions.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: It's how you handle those emotions, is what God wants you to learn.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: And what that's why He put us here to help you on those learning those coping skills that are going to help you through that process, helping you, guiding you to do prayers, journaling, and focus on shaping your brain in a different way so that the brain understands that this is the truth.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, and by by focusing on the truth of the of the word, you are able to change your whole perspective on things because you are not focusing so much on the problems that you are confronting.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: You are focusing more on the faith that you have in God that is going to help you through the process.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: So if you learn and to do that, to go to the word with that purpose, not because you are lacking faith, not because you're not a good Christian, but because you want to gain the tools that you need to be able to cope through those processes.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: So that's that's the difference between trying to fix it yourself or trying to do it yourself to give it to God.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: It's not that you are not not a good Christian at all.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: It's just no understanding that you're normal.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: And I believe that uh part of the part that I believe that sometimes we miss is once again, I want to follow him, I want to listen to him.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: But there are some things that I do that kind of uh negatively influence that connectivity.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so if I'm worried, I am not spending more time in here and spending less time with him.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
24:00
SPEAKER_01: So I'm I'm trying to do it myself.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: So he's going like, dude, I'm here.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, he start to me and I'm gonna be there.
24:08
SPEAKER_01: But once again, you know, many times we need each other.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: I mean, once again, we're here to put to be in that relationship with each other.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we need to come around that individual, love them, and being able to, how can we walk together through this?
24:26
SPEAKER_01: How can we, as you walk together through it and all that?
24:30
SPEAKER_01: It's just like being in a forest.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: Like here in America, you have this thing about you know, you cannot see the trees because of the forest, right?
24:36
SPEAKER_01: Why?
24:37
SPEAKER_01: Because it can become so thick that you're lost in there.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: But what if someone comes beside you and says, hey, come on, let's walk together.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: As we walk together, now we're going to the clearings, now you got a different perspective.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Now you can reconnect with that walk with Christ.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, many times that kind of it kind of pulls us away.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: What we want, which is that connection with him, we pull away because this worry is all of a sudden taking care.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and when you were talking through that, there's uh I don't want to get us ahead of ourselves, but yeah, I love that analogy of walking through the trees and walking with somebody who can guide me through that.
25:16
SPEAKER_03: And I think part of that guiding, going back to what you just said, is like you use the coping word, um, like giving me the tools.
25:24
SPEAKER_03: And I'm just imagining how many times I'm not a super handy guy, and I have some tools, but I don't have the right tools.
25:32
SPEAKER_03: And the number of times I've tried to repair something in my home or on my car, if I had the right tool, it would have been a 10-minute job.
25:42
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yes.
25:42
SPEAKER_03: But I didn't have the right tool, and I still tried to do it, and I made the problem worse.
25:48
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
25:48
SPEAKER_03: And I and I'm um as I think through that, maybe set us up for this next question.
25:55
SPEAKER_03: Um in fact, I'll ask the question, you could begin to think about your response is like how does anxiety create more negativity?
26:03
SPEAKER_03: Like uh, how does it create a desire to control it does uh to control the people, the outcomes, the circumstances?
26:11
SPEAKER_03: Um as you're thinking through that response, I want to respond to something you said a minute ago.
26:15
SPEAKER_03: You you you were comparing the difference between a male response and uh and a female response, and I realize that's a generalization, but uh how many times in a man's life, particularly, where I've got this fear, worry, anxiety, and I don't know how to deal with it, I don't have the right tools.
26:34
SPEAKER_03: I don't want to admit it, so I'm so prideful, but I've still got to manage it.
26:40
SPEAKER_03: So now I turn to alcohol, I turn to pornography, I turn to drugs, I turn to negative things that may give me that dopamine hit that some relief, but I'm I'm making it worse because I'm trying to fix the problem with the wrong tool.
26:57
SPEAKER_03: And I'm sure you guys see that way more than I do.
26:59
SPEAKER_03: But how else do you sense or observe that anxiety, worry, fear, panic, whatever word we want to apply to that, um, creates that desire for control or creates more negative experiences?
27:17
SPEAKER_00: I think I think many times our clients want to take over that responsibility that is not theirs.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: I think that that control pushed them to believe in their mind that they're responsible for that situation or for that person or for whatever whatever uh problem is going on that they're totally and absolutely responsible for.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: And for them to dissect those things and say, what do I have control over?
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Because I can only control myself, I cannot control anybody else, I cannot control situations that happen, I cannot control the government, I cannot control the weather, I cannot control war or whatever it is that is creating this worry in your life.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: You cannot control it.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: But what can you control is trying to understand what is in your hands, what it, what are you able to do with those things and remove that responsibility that you are carrying over your shoulders, that in reality you don't need to carry over your shoulders.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: So that's one thing that I I have seen in a lot of the clients that they take that responsibility and they try to focus on that so much, and and it's not what is healthy for them.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: They also allow these negative thoughts to come to their head.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: And we try to explain to them these negative thoughts, you need to capture them.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: The Bible tells us that, and it tells us in Romans 12, too, that you test them and you approve them.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, you decide whether they're true or not, and you make a decision based on that.
28:59
SPEAKER_00: If you you hear these thoughts and you aren't sure that they're not true, just dismiss them and try to focus on what is truth.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and that's one thing that we try to teach them to always test and approve, test and approve, because it's so important to concentrate on what you're hearing and know for sure.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like being in front of a judge, take them in front of God and say, hey, if this is true or not, and make a decision based on it.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: Because uh we live in a world that we believe it or not, you know, we are it's not flesh and blood, it's a battle that I constantly say rebuke Satan because Satan is the one that is trying to attack you.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Rebuke him.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: And I usually tell the ladies go around your house and pray in each of your rooms of your house and tell Satan, you are not welcome here, get out of my house, you know, because sometimes we allow things to come to our homes, and that's what creates these worries and these issues in our lives, because we are opening the door to Satan to uh to come and destroy.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: So these are the things that we normally see is is things that we try to control that are completely out of our control.
30:19
SPEAKER_01: And I believe that it probably works the other way, worrying, not learning to control, but control, leaning to worry.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: So I want to be able, uh, I mean, let's face it, we the worst fear is the unknown.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: That is our fear.
30:37
SPEAKER_01: What is the future whole?
30:39
SPEAKER_01: What is things gonna happen beyond that door?
30:41
SPEAKER_01: All those things right there because it's beyond my control.
30:44
SPEAKER_01: I have nothing that I can do to shape whatever is going on there.
30:49
SPEAKER_01: So that control leads me to worry.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: That control right there of uh, you know, what is the stock market gonna do?
30:58
SPEAKER_01: What is, you know, how is this gonna happen, that's gonna happen right there, that controlling right there then adds and adds more to worries.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: And like we're talking about it, it's the cycle right there, right?
31:09
SPEAKER_01: We gotta be able to look at it whenever it comes down to the negative thoughts, that I have a plate, and then once again, in in diet, I supposed to have portions of.
31:23
SPEAKER_03: Unless it's fried chicken, I can have a lot of portions.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: There you go, and then you have the banana pudding.
31:28
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and then you can but you can't have too much, but there, you know, even as we joke, if you take banana pudding, I mean you can actually eat enough that you can get yourself sick.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know what I'm saying?
31:40
SPEAKER_01: No matter how much you like it, your body will get sick over right there, right?
31:44
SPEAKER_01: So it's the same thing whenever it comes down to to our life.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: Whenever we have all those in the play right there, all of a sudden the buffet of life wants to give us more concerns, more worries.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: And we're accepting them, we're bringing them in and all that right there instead of going back in there and say, No, I'm not gonna accept that right there, right?
32:07
SPEAKER_01: We have no control over the thoughts that are coming in, they're automatic thoughts.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: We do have control as to what we're gonna do with it.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna sit in there and and grow this thought to be a beautiful flower?
32:22
SPEAKER_01: Or am I gonna go like, no, knock it down because I don't need to go there.
32:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we tell the clients that we bring uh to our sessions our life.
32:32
SPEAKER_01: Because one of the things that we want individuals to know, and I believe that that's once again relationship.
32:38
SPEAKER_01: If we get together with couples that have our same mentality set in reference to to our way of life now that we're there, we can learn from each other.
32:47
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
32:48
SPEAKER_01: Because all of a sudden we go like, look, we're not the only ones.
32:52
SPEAKER_01: They're doing it too.
32:53
SPEAKER_01: Oh, hold on, you are you, or hold on, y'all do this?
32:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: Everything is the same way, it's just how do we deal with it, right?
33:00
SPEAKER_01: So we have arguments because you know, like Brother Dan used to say right there, right?
33:06
SPEAKER_01: If we don't have disagreements, then one of us is not necessary.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: Because my ideas are always the best.
33:13
SPEAKER_01: And my ideas are always the best.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: So once again, we we gotta be able to understand that okay, that thought comes in right there, it's a negative thought right there.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: What am I gonna do with it?
33:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so it's like, you know, all of a sudden she done something, and and now that negative thought comes to me, it's like, I cannot believe she treated me that way.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: I cannot believe she disrespect me.
33:36
SPEAKER_01: I cannot believe it's all about me, and then it grows, it grows, it grows, and they're right there now becomes a battle.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, the same thing that comes down to worry right there, right?
33:44
SPEAKER_01: So all of a sudden our our kid graduates.
33:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my god, they're graduating.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: What is gonna happen now?
33:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're gonna go in the world and they have to get a job and they have to do this, they have to that right there.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Tama, relax.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Life is not gonna end right now.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: This is just the commencement of the adulthood.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes, but it is okay, it's going to take time for it to get there.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: And all we gotta do is relax and look back at whenever we were that age.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: Was I really worried about what college I was gonna go like?
34:14
SPEAKER_01: I was second year of college going like I have no idea what I'm gonna major on.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
34:18
SPEAKER_01: And all those things right there that we just want to be able to push those things through right there, that once again creates the worry.
34:26
SPEAKER_01: It creates, it develops that worry that it's not necessary.
34:29
SPEAKER_01: We need to be able to back up and and and look at the bigger picture, okay?
34:34
SPEAKER_03: So let's let's go back to that toolbox analogy then.
34:40
SPEAKER_03: Let's assume that I'm able to, I know when those negative thoughts are coming.
34:47
SPEAKER_03: I've identified them.
34:48
SPEAKER_03: I felt this way before.
34:50
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's it's easy to identify when I'm angry, when I'm worried, the fact that I'm not sleeping, my body's starting to remind me.
34:58
SPEAKER_03: Like, what are some real practical tools then that a person can use when those negative thoughts come in?
35:07
SPEAKER_03: I've always assumed and been told just saying, well, stop it is not enough.
35:14
SPEAKER_03: Like there's gotta be more.
35:16
SPEAKER_03: So, and I'm not I'm not expecting you to, you know, give me all the bag of tricks necessary, but what are just a few things that somebody listening today might find helpful?
35:27
SPEAKER_01: You you said a joke, stop it.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: It's the first thing that we gotta do right there, right?
35:34
SPEAKER_01: And it is like just like you know, whenever you're digging a hole right there, right?
35:38
SPEAKER_01: Listen, stop digging it.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: Stop, just stop for a moment.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: Uh take care of your body first.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Um we're talking about these things right there, right?
35:47
SPEAKER_01: Whenever, whenever um uh uh something comes up, um, I immediately go in fixing mode.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's the way God created me as a man.
35:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh, I got the fixing.
35:59
SPEAKER_01: You tell me what is going on, I can get a hammer, I can do that right there, I can go to those things right there.
36:04
SPEAKER_01: But the idea right there is like, no, I need to be able to stop and assess the situation, okay?
36:09
SPEAKER_01: Because I have gone in there with the hammer, and then at the end of it, I make a bigger mess than what it needed to be right there.
36:16
SPEAKER_01: So I need to be able to stop.
36:17
SPEAKER_01: Stop for a minute, stop for a second, count till 10.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: I know that we tell our kids, you know, do the counting and all that.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: We need to accept those to the same thing right there.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: Relax.
36:26
SPEAKER_01: Count till 10 right there, and now let me look at the situation right there, right?
36:30
SPEAKER_01: What is actually going on right there, right?
36:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay, that thought comes in, you know.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: Once again, that my wife now is disrespecting me right there, right?
36:39
SPEAKER_01: I need to be able to take that thought and say, is she actually disrespecting me or is she actually trying to take care of me?
36:45
SPEAKER_01: Is she actually trying to fulfill the God-given responsibility of her being my partner or her walking beside me?
36:54
SPEAKER_01: Remember, whenever it comes down to Genesis, you know, he created male and female, it says he needed a helper.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: For some reason, I haven't found anywhere where it says she needed a helper.
37:07
SPEAKER_02: I don't know why that is the case right there, right?
37:10
SPEAKER_01: But once again, I needed a helper right there, right?
37:13
SPEAKER_01: So she's trying to do that.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: So whenever I reframe this, and instead of looking at it, that she's being disrespectful, she's trying to tell me what to do, she's trying to control, I'm going like, hold on, the things that she's saying is for my benefit.
37:26
SPEAKER_01: She's trying to take care of me right there.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: So if she's trying to do that right there, why am I allowed that thought to come in right there?
37:32
SPEAKER_01: It is not true.
37:33
SPEAKER_01: I need to be able to disregard it right there, right?
37:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:36
SPEAKER_00: But one thing that uh I always tell them is that whenever we have these thoughts in our mind, we the first thing we need to do is try to figure out in our bodies what is what is the reaction we have in our body.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we start moving our legs whenever we get anxious or our heart starts pumping far faster or whatever.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: And we need to, we tell them, we give them breathing techniques to breathe in, breathe out, hold your breath, and then let it out.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes you need to get to the point we were talking earlier about your brain.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: You need to bring your brain back online because sometimes we allow the brain to go offline.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: It's like a computer, the brain is like a compute a computer, and if you be worried and all these things, you are not using your reasoning or anything that you have learned in life.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: You have you are not using it, you are allowing that to take over, and you are not letting anything help you that you have in your brain, all the scriptures that you have learned, all the way that you communicate with God.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: You cannot even pray sometimes because you are so worried about things.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: So the first thing you need to do is calm yourself and be bring your body back into normal, and that will help you say, okay, now let's look at what's going on.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: Let's focus on what is it really going on.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: What is it that I'm is creating this worry on me?
39:06
SPEAKER_00: And then you take that and then you evaluate it, you name it because you cannot be thinking about 20 things at the same time.
39:15
SPEAKER_00: You try to point pinpoint what is it that is creating the worry because you can be thinking about uh something you need to do tomorrow, your grandkids, your your kids, or whatever, too many many things at the same time, but there's something that is creating the worry.
39:29
SPEAKER_00: So trying to identify what is that and then name it is very important.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: To me, it's very important to understand what is it that you are needing to address.
39:41
SPEAKER_00: Because if not, you cannot move forward, you cannot really do something about it, and then definitely bring it to God.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: Say, God, talk to him, like like Ricky tells us, you know, like he's your your dad right there.
39:55
SPEAKER_00: Hey, hey dad, here's my problem.
39:58
SPEAKER_00: This is what I'm feeling right now.
40:00
SPEAKER_00: Help me with this, please.
40:02
SPEAKER_00: Help me get out of these, all these ants that I have in my head, automatic, automatic negative thoughts.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: We call it ants.
40:12
SPEAKER_00: So all these automatic negative thoughts, help me get out of it.
40:16
SPEAKER_00: Use your spray and get them out of my head so that I can feel better, and he will help you.
40:23
SPEAKER_00: Just just, you know, sometimes we just have to come to him and just bring it the way that it is.
40:30
SPEAKER_00: Don't try to make it sound pretty, don't worry about how you say it.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: Just put it on the table for him and he'll listen to it.
40:37
SPEAKER_00: Once you get it out of your system, it makes you feel better.
40:40
SPEAKER_00: You just, even if you have to say it aloud, I will say it aloud.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just have to scream it.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: And part of that right there is one of the things that I have learned is okay, so I know that I'm supposed to do this guy, but and I know I got the tools.
40:56
SPEAKER_01: I know how to breathe, I know how to take the breath, and I know to do that right there, but I just cannot get to it.
41:03
SPEAKER_01: You give me the wisdom to be able to understand what is going on because I cannot pinpoint it, I cannot say exactly what it is, where it's coming from.
41:12
SPEAKER_01: So give me some clarity right there.
41:14
SPEAKER_01: That way I can better understand what is going on, and then I can do something to change.
41:20
SPEAKER_01: Because once again, we none of us know everything, you know.
41:25
SPEAKER_01: So we gotta be able to ask, like, what is it that I do not know about this situation?
41:29
SPEAKER_01: What is what is that is going on within me that is not giving me that peace, that is robbing me from that peace right there.
41:36
SPEAKER_01: What is what is it that I need to take care of it and how I need to take care of it right there.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: And I wanna I wanted to share a personal situation that happened to us, like and yeah, tell us stories about angel.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was about about me uh specifically.
41:51
SPEAKER_00: We were um we went to the um uh mission trip to Haiti and I came back and I I went to my doctor because my leg was not moving and I was feeling kind of weird.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: Like I started losing movement in my legs, and uh so God put in my path somebody that recognized what I was going through because I have always said any other doctor will not know, but my doctor is from Asia, so she was very familiar with what she was seeing, so she immediately um referred me to a neurologist.
42:27
SPEAKER_00: And um, we went to the neurologist, but it had to I had to wait until Monday.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: That it was a Friday, and I had to wait until Monday.
42:35
SPEAKER_00: So she gave me a lot of steroids and things to hold me up until I could see the neurologist on Monday.
42:42
SPEAKER_00: And when I went on Monday to the neurologist, the neurologist immediately confirmed what she had said that I had, and it was the Gillian Berry syndrome, and I had to be sent to the hospital immediately.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: But before that, whenever we were at the neurologist, one thing that happened to us, and I always say God was with us the whole time.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes, we were worried.
43:05
SPEAKER_00: Whenever the doctor came back and told us what I was gonna go through, he was telling me that I was gonna be completely paralyzed and I was going to have to be put on a um intubated and everything because all my muscles were gonna stop moving and all of that.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: We cried, we are human, you know, we worry about that, and it was a a moment of weakness where we felt like, oh my goodness, you know, we are going to go through something huge right now.
43:36
SPEAKER_00: But we look at each other and we say, God is with us.
43:39
SPEAKER_00: And we held our hands, we pray, and we say, We're ready, God.
43:43
SPEAKER_00: You we know we are you are with us.
43:45
SPEAKER_00: And they sent us to the hospital, we went straight to the emergency room, and look at me, I can walk now.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: And it I wasn't I was giving a neurologist that was eager to get into it because he had just come out of school.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: And uh he was giving me 100% of him and he stayed with me the whole time.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: He went and looked at all his studies and he did everything in the book to make sure he was right, and so he prevented from me to get to have to be intubated.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: So I was able to survive all that, and I was paralyzed for six months, but uh it didn't affect my lungs.
44:24
SPEAKER_00: But to me, to God be the glory, because he was there with us the whole time and he gave us that peace that we needed.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: But to me, that is that is the difference between somebody that is walking with Christ and understand that you have zero control over these situations.
44:44
SPEAKER_00: These are bodies that are just a vessel that is gonna decay, that are not gonna function normal sometimes, but God is helping us through that process and he's walking by us and with us.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: And uh he was with us, and I know that he was with us, and that's what gave me peace.
45:05
SPEAKER_00: But it's understanding those things that make a difference.
45:08
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I wanted to share that with you because it it means to me so much that first I have a partner that is the best husband in the world.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry for everybody else, but he's the best thing that ever I ever got in my life after God, and he was there for me, and he knew that we needed to remember that God was on our side, and that's what we did.
45:34
SPEAKER_01: And I believe that the the the worry part right there is um the part where it shows us you're human.
45:42
SPEAKER_00: You're human.
45:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, you're you you are human.
45:45
SPEAKER_01: And many times I think that if we go back in there and say, yeah, don't worry, then I believe that we need to go back and look in the mirror and really realize, am I really not worrying, or am I trying to run away from things, or am I trying to hide things?
45:59
SPEAKER_01: So the best thing to be able to go back in there and say, hey God, thank you for that worry because show me that I'm human.
46:06
SPEAKER_01: And I believe that it was you that mentioned at one point in time uh one of your sermons, the gift of pain.
46:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: You know, and it is that there's individuals that have no feeling, and they have to do things to keep themselves safe because they can be in the stove and they can put their hand in the stove, and that's whenever they smell like it's like, oh, my hand was burning.
46:27
SPEAKER_01: I didn't even knew that right there.
46:28
SPEAKER_01: That is the gift of pain.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: So once again, these words, these concerns, it's a gift that is given, given to us to be able to realize, like, hey, I am human.
46:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm still alive right there.
46:39
SPEAKER_01: Because I could only imagine, imagine someone that has zero concerns, zero worries.
46:47
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I cannot, I could not imagine how it's to lead that life right there, right?
46:52
SPEAKER_01: Even though we think that it would be a great life right there.
46:55
SPEAKER_01: No, that is something that actually we need in our life.
46:59
SPEAKER_01: We need to be able to have the heart of caring.
47:02
SPEAKER_01: And now this comes from a guy right there that once again, 30, 35 years ago, I'm going like, yeah, whatever, let the world burn.
47:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't care about it right there.
47:12
SPEAKER_01: This is the guy that now goes back in there and says, Yeah, baby, we don't pray for God, hurry up and come.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: Because I want to be able to see all my grandkids safe.
47:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
47:22
SPEAKER_01: All my great grandkids safe right there.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: How many generations I want to say?
47:26
SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad that he's going like, no, Anna, you gotta wait.
47:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, my time, not your time.
47:31
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
47:31
SPEAKER_03: Well, and I I'm so encouraged by that, and I'm encouraged by what you guys do in your ministry.
47:37
SPEAKER_03: And as I said at the beginning, the example that you lead, uh, maybe to wrap us up, I want to go back to your story.
47:44
SPEAKER_03: Um you were worried, uh, your body was fighting itself.
47:50
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure you were fearful because this is your helper, your bride, your girlfriend.
47:56
SPEAKER_03: Um but you also said, like, okay, you trusted, you relied on the Lord, and you had this doctor who came alongside you.
48:04
SPEAKER_03: And that doctor brought new information, he brought expertise, he he brought tools.
48:11
SPEAKER_03: And I think um that's the the beauty of what you guys do from counseling.
48:17
SPEAKER_03: Yes, some of this is like, here's what the Bible says, some of this is a clinical thing of you know, exercises, coping skills, different tools.
48:27
SPEAKER_03: And uh, you know, for for somebody listening today, it may be some encouragement to know on some level uh uh your concern or worry is normal.
48:37
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
48:38
SPEAKER_03: But if you are finding yourself that it's moving down that spectrum to where it is consuming and it's controlling and it's impacting you negatively, or it's leading you to deal with it in a negative way, or you're harming yourself, like this is why mental health is important and why professionals uh in our counseling center or other counseling centers can be that comparative physician to come and say, okay, let us walk with you through this.
49:08
SPEAKER_03: You don't have to just keep failing over and over.
49:11
SPEAKER_03: Like, we can help you, we can teach you, we can help you learn the right words to use, how to name this, how to manage this, uh, and walk in that sense of freedom and peace.
49:23
SPEAKER_03: It is possible.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: And and and allow me to share this, Ricky.
49:26
SPEAKER_01: So uh one of the things that we want to make sure, and and I know that you asked, you know, give us those tools right there, and we do have a set of tools right there, and and if you go to a uh to a worldview counselor versus a Christian counselor, we're going to give you, you know, all of the same theories, but once again from a eternal hope.
49:47
SPEAKER_01: That is our goal.
49:48
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if if you're going to come in to a counselor uh because you worry, and they give you all of the tools necessary for you to be like worry-free, and now you're happy and dandy and all that right there, but uh you don't know the lore, then you're gonna be happy and dandy going to hell.
50:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, over here, right there, we're gonna give you the tools right there, and then you know that you're gonna be worry free.
50:12
SPEAKER_01: And but even if you're not worry-free, still gonna go to heaven.
50:15
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
50:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and that's the most important part.
50:17
SPEAKER_01: The eternal hope piece, yes.
50:19
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
50:20
SPEAKER_01: So that is the many people ask what is the difference between those, you know, those those sets right there.
50:26
SPEAKER_01: And many times, whenever you say Christian counselor, they go like, no, that's a lot more.
50:30
SPEAKER_01: You cannot be a Christian and a counselor.
50:32
SPEAKER_01: No, no, actually, the greatest counselor, Jesus Christ, right there, right?
50:36
SPEAKER_01: The one who we follow.
50:37
SPEAKER_01: So we do have all those things right there.
50:40
SPEAKER_01: But like, for example, whenever it comes down to mindfulness, you know, the Bible teaches about for us to be able to be not mindfulness, not to worry about, not to think about anything, but to be projected, to be focused on I'm mindful about this, I'm thinking about this.
50:58
SPEAKER_01: I am going to, once again, the Bible talks about meditate.
51:02
SPEAKER_01: The world talks about meditate in the um we talk about no having that relationship.
51:07
SPEAKER_01: I don't have to, I can talk directly to my God, and we can have that peaceful relationship.
51:13
SPEAKER_01: I can walk with him.
51:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we can go with those breathing exercises, right?
51:18
SPEAKER_01: And once again, he goes back in there, and uh uh, whenever I think about Matthew, whenever he goes back in there and he says, you know, what a man worry will add an inch to his height right there, right?
51:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm a testimony of that.
51:29
SPEAKER_01: I've been worried all my life.
51:31
SPEAKER_01: I'm still short.
51:32
SPEAKER_01: Five sits and shrinking right there, right?
51:34
SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't work right there.
51:36
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, just being able to look at those things right there that we are going to give you the tools that are gonna work for you.
51:42
SPEAKER_01: But it's just like medicine, you know, Tylenol may not work for you.
51:47
SPEAKER_01: You may need something stronger, something lighter.
51:49
SPEAKER_01: It may have different side effects.
51:51
SPEAKER_01: Same thing whenever it comes down to mental health.
51:54
SPEAKER_01: We're going to work with you to find out, okay, this have you tried this before?
51:58
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it didn't work.
51:59
SPEAKER_01: Don't throw everything out.
52:01
SPEAKER_01: Let's try something different about that, right?
52:03
SPEAKER_01: Because even uh, and we we're we're blessed to have y'all support in reference to the right now media.
52:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we tell our clients, listen, I am a person that I read one page and I'm, you know, but I can listen.
52:19
SPEAKER_01: I can listen to the books in there, I can listen to all those exhortations and all that right there.
52:24
SPEAKER_01: So it's a different way, just like we learn.
52:26
SPEAKER_01: There's a different way to learn right there.
52:28
SPEAKER_01: So with all those skills and all that right there, we can teach you breathing exercises, we can uh guide you on all those things that you need to be able to do to be able to relax.
52:38
SPEAKER_01: Uh, but once again, it's individualized.
52:41
SPEAKER_01: It's not, we're not cookie cut.
52:43
SPEAKER_03: It's not like thinking about what you just said, I can't tell you the number of times, this is beautiful, that I've maybe I've been hastorily counseling somebody and I've recommended that they need to go see a professional.
52:58
SPEAKER_03: And they will say, Well, I did that once before, and it didn't help.
53:03
SPEAKER_03: And um, I love that analogy of medically we get this, well, we're gonna try on this antibiotic.
53:11
SPEAKER_03: Well, I had an adverse reaction.
53:13
SPEAKER_03: Okay, well, let's use this antibiotic.
53:15
SPEAKER_03: And so maybe for for somebody listening that you have considered or tried professional counseling before, and you say, well, it didn't work, well, maybe just that technique didn't work.
53:28
SPEAKER_03: There's there are other tools and different types of medicine, so to speak, that may work.
53:34
SPEAKER_03: So uh anything else?
53:36
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
53:37
SPEAKER_01: So here's one thing that we uh we love and we focus on right there, and it is safe space.
53:45
SPEAKER_01: So um over there at the counseling center, with us right there, we try to create that safe space where you can come in and you just download, you just let it go right there, right?
53:56
SPEAKER_01: No judgment.
53:57
SPEAKER_01: Okay, we have, as a matter of fact, we're very proud of our counseling center where people have been able to call and they're from their atheists, and they have told me.
54:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm going like, dude, I don't believe in none of that mumba jumble that y'all do right there.
54:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm going like, you know, it's a Christian counsel center.
54:17
SPEAKER_01: He says, Well, my friends say that's my last one, so I'm coming.
54:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm going, come on, buddy.
54:23
SPEAKER_01: Gives me the opportunity to share the gospel right there.
54:25
SPEAKER_01: You see what I'm saying?
54:26
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then even with other people, I have have uh people that are Mormons, you know, people at Jehovah Witness that have come in right there.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: And once again, we're not here to judge.
54:37
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I tell them, I say, if you came over here to listen to a sermon, you came to the wrong place.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: You go over there and you listen to Ricky right there, you get a good sermon.
54:45
SPEAKER_01: Not here.
54:46
SPEAKER_01: We're not going to go over there right there, and every other thing is gonna be biblical.
54:50
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna it's gonna be biblical reading, but we're gonna allow the spirit.
54:56
SPEAKER_01: We we we let them know we allow the Holy Spirit to work here.
54:59
SPEAKER_01: Yes, so we're gonna pray when the Holy Spirit leads us, and there's we can stop in the middle of the session and it's like, whoa, it feels too heavy.
55:08
SPEAKER_01: Let's take the time right there to talk to our Lord to figure out what's going on right there.
55:13
SPEAKER_01: So, one of the things that many times happen is that we're afraid of that judgment.
55:18
SPEAKER_01: Um, and one of the things that happened in our center is that over 90% of our clients are from other churches.
55:24
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
55:25
SPEAKER_01: Right?
55:25
SPEAKER_01: Because once again, it is like, oh my God, the these counselors they come to our church, well, they go, no, no, this is this is this is what our calling is.
55:34
SPEAKER_01: And because that is our calling, we're there to protect.
55:38
SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that we tell clients, I'm going, like, listen, I am probably one of the only members, we're the only members of church that we have been authorized by our pastor to like.
55:48
SPEAKER_01: And they go, like, what?
55:49
SPEAKER_01: I say, yeah, if somebody calls and says, hey, you know, Julie, we're gonna like, Julie, who?
55:54
SPEAKER_01: I have no idea who you're talking about.
55:56
SPEAKER_01: Because we're gonna protect you.
55:57
SPEAKER_01: If we see you out there in public, Walmart, whatever it is, and all that right there, we're not going to talk to you.
56:03
SPEAKER_01: We allow you to start a conversation if you wish to.
56:07
SPEAKER_01: If not, we're okay because we're gonna protect that privacy right there.
56:10
SPEAKER_01: So everything that happens in that session right there is just in between us right there, and you're being protected, your privacy is being protected.
56:19
SPEAKER_01: And once again, the biggest part right there is who am I to judge?
56:24
SPEAKER_01: I cannot, I cannot judge you.
56:26
SPEAKER_01: I can now open my arms and give you Christ's love.
56:30
SPEAKER_01: I can try to show you that, and I can try to be the vessel.
56:36
SPEAKER_01: That is all I can do right there to show you that.
56:38
SPEAKER_01: We don't have uh, you know, miracle potions going there right there.
56:43
SPEAKER_01: We don't have these pills that we can give you right there, but we sure have the Holy Spirit working in there right there.
56:48
SPEAKER_01: Amen to that.
56:48
SPEAKER_01: And what a better, uh, what a better counselor than that right there.
56:52
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
56:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I'm so encouraged.
56:55
SPEAKER_03: I'm grateful that we've been able to talk about this uh to highlight the importance of mental health, to highlight our counseling center, to make connections to Psalm 37, even get some practical things that somebody listening today, you know, you can immediately, when you feel those ants are like that, um breathe, count, like some of those things you could do to slow down, to reactivate your brain.
57:20
SPEAKER_03: But uh maybe you need to contact our counseling center or another prayerfully a Christian counseling center to learn how to manage that through more.
57:32
SPEAKER_03: So I hope you've been blessed and encouraged by this episode uh on a high dive podcast.
57:37
SPEAKER_03: As we always ask, uh, do us a favor, you know, click like, subscribe, share.
57:43
SPEAKER_03: That helps you be reminded when new episodes drop and it helps others know that this is a resource that's out there.
57:49
SPEAKER_03: But Angel Anna, thank you so much.
57:52
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
57:53
SPEAKER_03: Love you guys and grateful for this time.
57:55
SPEAKER_03: Now, we end our podcast um in a unique way.
58:00
SPEAKER_03: So, um, in honor of Brother Don, he, our pastor emeritus, he just has a way and has had a way, you know, when the meeting or the service or the funeral or whatever was over, but nobody knew that was over, he would just stand up and say, bye.
58:24
SPEAKER_03: So that's how we end our podcast.
58:28
SPEAKER_03: So bye.