Latest / The Diva Details / Navigating the world of Online Scams in Dating and in Life

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Navigating the world of Online Scams in Dating and in Life · The Diva Details

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  Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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  Where bold, confident women embrace life unapologetically.
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  From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real and powerful.
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  No filters, no limits. Just fearless conversations to help you thrive.
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  Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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  Well, hello, Diva Cat. Hello, Diva Mia. How you doing? I'm good.
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  How's it going? It's going very well, actually. I'm trying to lose weight,
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  you know. Oh, you're still losing weight? You're looking great, girl.
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  I'm trying, girl. I'm trying. Oh, we'll work on that together.
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  How's that? How about that? We'll do a challenge together.
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  Yes. My thing is when I first get off, I made myself to, like,
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  jump in the shower, get ready, you know, not stay in pajamas all day.
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  I think it's motivated you more that way.
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  More energy i think so too so anyways
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  so i wanted to talk about i
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  have a friend that recently got
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  scammed on social media in kind of a dating realm he uh actually gave money
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  to a woman oh my god that happened for airfare that happened a lot i know i
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  personally know a lady that gets gamed over Facebook.
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  Really? Yes. So what happened? Well, they've been talking, they've been talking.
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  He's overseas and... Oh, they're always overseas. They're always overseas.
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  And he's like, supposedly he's a doctor over there. And he was like,
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  you can come over here, I'll take care of you, but I need money to open the clinic, get enough.
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  And she actually felt like she sent him money. How much money do you know?
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  I think close to three grand.
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  Oh my gosh. Total, total. Oh my gosh. Not all at once.
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  And she sent it and nothing happened? Nothing happened. She sent it.
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  So did he stop communicating after she sent it?
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  And at the last time, I haven't talked to her for a while now about it.
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  And she actually doesn't talk about it.
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  She said the last time he was like, if you want, you know, I'm a doctor.
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  I need a lot of money to make appearance.
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  And after the fifth time, now she decided to tell the rest of us.
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  And we were like, shut up that account. The fifth time? She sent her money five times.
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  But we didn't know you the fifth time. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
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  That's terrible. It's terrible, these people. I'm telling you.
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  Well, here's the thing. I think that...
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  People are getting scammed more than you know. Oh, yeah.
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  And the guy that I know that got scammed, he's a smart guy. And he should know
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  better. And I think he knows.
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  So supposedly she's supposed to show up this week. Still hasn't.
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  He sent her money for a flight.
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  And they always send pictures. Oh, yeah. Sometimes with the guys,
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  they'll send nude pictures.
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  Right. I'm sure he got something like that. And the person is really good, he says.
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  If she's a scammer she's really good well of course they're
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  really good this is what they do for a living right and
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  with all the ai all the stuff out there they could make
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  themselves look like anybody yeah she's supposedly in the ukraine ukraine yeah
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  oh my god yeah and then he said well if she doesn't work out i have these other
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  two women twins that are in poland and i'm like oh No,
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  you don't. He's like, they're real. I'm like, no, they're not.
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  He's supposedly a smart guy. He's supposedly a smart guy and engineer.
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  So, you know, anyway, so here's the thing. It's crazy.
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  If you are getting hit up on Facebook and you don't know this person and they
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  friend you and you've never lived in that location and you've never worked anywhere near them,
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  so you don't have an association basically with this person.
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  But out of the blue, somebody friends you.
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  Even if you have one or two friends with them because sometimes they friend several people.
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  And then they start trying to romance you. Now, I get this a lot. I really do.
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  Ever since I got divorced, it like turned on the switch. If you change your
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  status to single or divorced on Facebook, I really think they have a filter
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  that goes through and just sucks all the newly single and divorced people out.
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  Right after my divorce, I got hit the most. Well, you know, they do.
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  There's a movie that I feel, I believe is true because these people are doing
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  this full time. No, they do it full time. Yeah, no.
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  And they even, they'll even call you. You can even talk to them on the phone.
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  Oh my God. Because they have guys and women that do this for a living.
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  Oh my God. And so you can even talk to them on the phone. Sometimes you're talking to the same person.
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  Sometimes you're not. So if you ask them questions about previous conversations,
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  sometimes they'll remember and sometimes they won't because it's not the same
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  person. because there's groups of people that do this, right?
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  Right. So they do this for a living and this is their profession and they make
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  a lot of money because Americans, no offense guys, you're all gullible.
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  We are so gullible when it comes to love and we so want to be loved and there
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  are so many other ways to find love but you got to work at it and the truth
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  is you got to work on yourself first,
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  and most people don't want to they want to take the easy route i
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  would say i've probably gotten i've i've had attempted
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  scams at least 15 times since i got
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  divorced are you is it really i'm just really good
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  at detecting them i even had one scammer that was pretty good that
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  acted like he lived in honolulu and was friends with like 10 of my friends and
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  it was just really bad now here's a couple signs if they start talking about
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  cryptocurrency to you it's probably a sign yeah i had one guy that you know
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  was trying to scam me through a dating app,
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  that was ready to tell me he loved me after i don't know maybe a a week of text
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  conversations and i talked to him on the phone a few times too that is crazy
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  if they want to go on whatsapp that's a red flag too.
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  If somebody says, let's talk on WhatsApp, that means they're probably not in
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  the U.S., even if they say they're in the U.S.
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  Can you tell by their phone numbers, though?
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  No, because you can get forwarding phone numbers. Oh. Okay.
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  So it's tough out there, ladies. I realize it's tough to find a person.
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  Don't ever, and I repeat this, don't ever send a man money, ever. Never.
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  And men, stop sending women money unless you physically met
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  them and you've dated them and money should
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  not exchange hands and they should not be using your
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  money as a way for you to love them and they
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  do this and they suck people in and i asked
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  him i go so how much money have you sent and he won't tell me he just
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  sent her money for a plane ticket i'm like why didn't you just book the plane
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  ticket and i go how'd you send he goes i sent it via crypto so when
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  you do this guys you're gonna get your heart
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  broken yeah because you think you're
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  giving money uh-huh and you're gonna get love back but
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  what you're doing is you're giving money to a scammer uh-huh and then
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  you're gonna your self-worth is gonna be even lower because you're gonna realize
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  that they are a scammer uh-huh and there is nothing there wait he sent me a
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  crypto can he get it better no crypto is untraceable once it's gone it's gone
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  yeah it's not like a wire where you He can freeze the wire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  And I think he knew better deep down. I just think he didn't care.
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  You know, there's people on different platforms where people ask for money and
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  people just send it to them.
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  What is that platform where you can go on that and ask for charity?
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  Like if you have a GoFundMe. GoFundMe.
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  GoFundMe is a whole thing where people, and there's so many scams on GoFundMe. Oh, yeah. Yes.
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  I could go on GoFundMe, set up an account and ask for money.
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  Maybe I should. You should.
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  I'm telling you, have you read that, you know, you beat all the audio meals
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  and stuff. You could set up GoFundMe. Go set up a GoFundMe and people just send you money.
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  And there's different types of platforms. There's that one. What's that one
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  where people take pictures of their feet and people send them money and stuff?
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  It does such a thing? It's on OnlyFans. So OnlyFans, there's people that take
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  pictures of their feet and people subscribe to it so they get monthly money.
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  I can take pictures of my feet because I have really cute feet.
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  I should do it with my hands.
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  I know. I have pretty hands. Well, anyway, Americans basically subscribe to look at women's feet.
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  Are you serious? Or they subscribe to look at a person's day.
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  Or they subscribe to watch a person work out or they
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  subscribe to see naked pictures
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  i subscribe for the cooking channel well i found out on only fans they also
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  have i don't there's a name for it there's a term for it where men want to send
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  women money and so they go on to only fans and they say i need a thousand dollars
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  to buy myself a purse and if you send money i will send you a picture of the purse i bought,
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  And guys do it. My God. Because there's people that want to take care of women.
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  They don't want the relationship.
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  The loneliness. They want the idea of the relationship. And they're like in the cyborg world. Yeah.
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  It's almost like the men are damaged, so they don't want to get too close,
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  but they want to get a little close.
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  Maybe this is the thing they could control and put themselves back.
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  Perhaps. But nonetheless, it's a scam, right?
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  I mean, we think it's a scam. To them, they're feeling it.
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  A need so obviously maybe he felt feel
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  the need by sending her money yeah maybe by feeling
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  like he was helping someone right there's a need there and i think maybe in
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  the in his head he thinks she'll show up now the problem is if she does show
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  up she's going to take him for more money but she's not going to show up what
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  if she shows up if she shows up i really fear for the guy because she'll take
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  him for more money anyone like that is going to just rob you blind,
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  is she gonna look like if she show up it's
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  gonna be like show up his door he's gonna have to take care of her he'd have
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  to take care of her she'd be moving in with him so you got to be careful with
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  that too oh yeah but if it's real then they show up at your doors yeah but no
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  she supposedly looks like a model yeah okay yeah anyway so i had a nanny one
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  time when my children were younger.
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  And really sweet woman loved her
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  she was so sweet anyway when she
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  wasn't working she was always on her phone okay and eventually
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  she shared with us that she had met this guy from the UK online okay he came
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  to her via Facebook I'm sorry guys I think they use Facebook uh-huh because
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  it's considered the old person's platform that's what my son calls it the people
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  that are in their 40s 50s 60s and up,
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  That's what they're on Facebook. That is true, though. Those are the audience.
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  That's the audience. So they go to Facebook and they find these people that
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  are recently divorced or single.
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  And if you get on any of those single platforms, like Facebook Singles,
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  now that's not the Facebook dating.
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  It's a platform that's just Facebook Singles. So if you get on this platform,
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  you will find that there are more scammers.
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  Oh, my God. And they will target you. Yeah. I had, I think Monday,
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  two different guys that I don't know.
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  Now, I don't know if they're scammers, but they reached out to me,
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  both of them from Chicago.
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  Now, they even know your home base. They know that I was from Chicago.
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  So I don't know if they had natural platforms or not, or maybe they just have
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  profiles set up for different areas.
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  I don't know who these people are. Okay.
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  But they all want to meet me. And now they may be genuine people and real. Yeah.
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  But I don't do that type of stuff unless I know someone.
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  First of all, I'm not going to go meet some stranger that I met on Facebook.
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  I just kind of say I'm just not dating right now. Yeah.
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  Because honestly, I'm not really dating right now.
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  And I just shut it down. so when
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  i find a
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  person like that i kind of just the walls go up yeah and
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  you kind of need to protect yourself because it is crazy
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  out there it is not normal dating it is
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  a little crazy and what i think you're gonna find is that when you give money
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  sometimes they stick around yeah because they want more like like you said five
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  times she's given him money and that that we know finally the fifth time she
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  told us. She's probably sent more than $3,000.
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  She's probably sent $3,000 every time. I know. So it's.
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  Crazy it's crazy and on top
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  of the wiring piece and these people are making fortunes right because
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  all they have to do is talk to somebody for 10 15 hours and
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  then what happens wow you just got two thousand dollars and then
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  the next week you get another two thousand dollars i mean that's better
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  than a full-time job for most people that's two hundred dollars an
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  hour that's 200 bucks an hour if you think about it so it's
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  free exactly and so and in
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  places where the cost of living is much less right they're
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  always overseas or most of the time they're overseas or they're out of state
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  they can never truly meet you that's why
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  i think the chicago people are scammers right you
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  know you just you never know so this just sad though like now make make it like
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  people who really really truly honest make it hard for them like you're never
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  gonna trust anybody again even though there's a good people come around and
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  they always go after the smart successful ones too of course They're not going
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  after the losers that don't make enough money. Yeah.
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  And sometimes they take people's life savings.
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  Oh, my God. It has happened. It has happened. Yeah. Yeah.
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  And sometimes they say, oh, and there's other scams where, you know,
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  they come and I've seen this on Facebook, too.
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  It's not really a dating thing, but where I have a lot of pages, right?
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  I have a lot of Facebook pages for different businesses I have.
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  And they'll say, this is Facebook Facebook.
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  Administrative something and you have done
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  a violation and you're getting a fine or something and they
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  want me to send my credit card number yeah okay to pay for a fine in order to
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  make sure my page doesn't get deactivated i'm like really you guys are coming
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  up with all kinds of stuff and they're good and i was like what the hell is
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  this the first time and then i got it on every single page that i have i was
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  like oh you guys are just fishing and it's really fishing so what's going to
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  happen is they're going to send something.
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  And when you respond, that means they have you on the hook.
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  Yeah. The other thing that's happening lately is people will text you and they'll
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  say, hey, just thought we were going to meet today. What time are you coming over?
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  And you don't have this person's number in your phone. And then you'll send
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  a question mark and you'll say, who is this? I don't know who this is. Yeah.
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  Or they'll say, hey, are you coming to my office? Or, hey, you want to go golf
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  today or something? Yeah. But anyway, they ask you, how are you doing?
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  Okay. I hope I didn't disturb you today. You seem like a very nice person.
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  And that's how they try to start the conversation.
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  And I've played along one time. And I say, well, thank you.
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  Have a nice day. And I'm thinking I would end it. And they go, oh, no.
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  They keep going. And they're like, what are you looking for?
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  I just, I'm new to the area and I'm single.
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  And I'm just, yeah, that's how they start. And I don't know how they get your number.
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  I'm sure you can get people's number no matter what.
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  But they start communicating via text. It's very similar to the Facebook scam.
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  And what they want to do is they want to build rapport and relationship and
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  once they build that rapport and relationship they're really good sales people
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  guys that's what it is yeah they're really good sales people anytime they can
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  get your credit card although the health insurance one,
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  may be a scam as well just not related to dating but it may be scammy as well
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  it probably is yeah and the toll tax oh yeah there's toll there's when you have
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  tolls yeah there's people scamming to say hey, we need your credit card to pay your toll bill. Yeah.
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  I even got a scam one time where they called me up.
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  They said, you missed jury duty. Uh-huh. And...
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  You were found in contempt of court because you missed jury duty.
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  Oh, and the judge has issued a, a warrant for your arrest. Yeah.
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  Because you never showed up for jury duty. I'm like, what? Yeah.
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  And they're like, we sent a certified mail. This is a high profile case and
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  you never responded. Yeah.
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  And when you don't respond, we have the right to pull you into jury duty.
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  Oh, wow. And it was such a funny thing. So then, and then they're like,
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  well, and cause I, answered my phone.
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  And then they're like, well, you can't hang up the phone. I go, well, why not?
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  I go, I'm going to call the court and verify this is what I said.
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  And they go, well, you can't hang up the phone because if you hang up the phone,
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  we're going to have to send officers to your location.
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  Now they had my address. Oh, wow. They had my birthday.
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  They had my, this is another reason to take your birthday off your Facebook pages, guys.
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  They had my address. They had my birthday, they had all my information.
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  They knew where I lived. They said, well, we're sending officers to your location
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  if you hang up the phone because we need you to come in for jury duty.
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  And since there was a court case, you're going to have to pay the court fees, which were $3,000.
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  Yeah. So they said, you can come into the office. And the number was one digit off of the county.
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  It was very close to the county phone number. They said, you can come into the
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  office and pay to the sheriff's office and pay your court fee, which is $3,000.
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  He goes, but don't hang up the phone. If you want, we can take your information
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  over the phone or you can drive in.
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  And, you know, driving in would have been like an hour and a half of my time there and back.
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  And I was like, OK, so.
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  I'm gonna hang up the phone now okay they're like
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  well if you want to call and verify here actually let
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  me put this other guy on the phone is what he said uh-huh he's like
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  he goes this is sheriff whatever uh-huh or
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  deputy sheriff whatever so he tried to verify with his other guy i go well i'm
• 18:07
  gonna call back and they're okay we'll give you the number for the courthouse
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  okay but it was a number they wanted i go no i'm not taking your number i'm
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  gonna go look it up myself yeah and that's when they knew they lost me they
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  go okay but if you get arrested it's not on us i go okay.
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  I guess something like that, but they said they're from IRS.
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  Oh, IRS as well. I mean, there's so many scams out there, guys.
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  You really have to protect yourself. The IRS is not taking credit cards over
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  the phone. No, they never call.
• 18:36
  The IRS doesn't call you. In fact, if you call the IRS, you're going to be on
• 18:39
  hold for two to three hours. Do I?
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  I've done that. Yeah. So if you, the IRS is not taking time out of their day
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  to call you unless you're,
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  you have some type of levy or lien against
• 18:50
  your place but you're going to have so many letters before they actually
• 18:54
  reach out to you that it's not even going to be funny yeah and recently
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  it's a total and then another one is something about the car like you have parking
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  violation oh a parking violation that's hilarious yeah so they're they're hitting
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  us from all angles oh yeah yeah so you have to be careful i think the one with
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  love and your heart is easier to get money out of people I think that's why
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  they're doing it so much.
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  Yeah. But now they're trying to instigate fear of arrest.
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  Yeah. Or fear of the IRS.
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  Yeah. And these scams, they're getting good, guys.
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  That's it. Yeah, they train for it. And with AI, they're getting even better.
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  Yeah. So they're going to get really, really good. And there's scams you get
• 19:34
  in your email. I got one today saying it was payroll spreadsheet.
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  They wanted me to open up the spreadsheet. I didn't do it, but it was there.
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  As long as you open up, you get all your information. I'm sure.
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  Oh, my God. I have to tell my sons that.
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  Yeah, don't open up attachments, guys, ever.
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  Just don't. And don't download attachments. Yeah.
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  So, especially if you don't know who the person's from. Anyway,
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  so let's go back and talk about the loved one.
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  Because the loved one is the big one. And I think they're getting so much money out of people.
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  Because emotional. Because it's emotional and people are lonely.
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  Yes, people are lonely. And I don't want you guys to be lonely.
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  If you're lonely, go work on yourself and start loving yourself.
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  If you're allowing someone to scam you, it means you don't love yourself, guys. It really is.
• 20:19
  Yeah, people are lonely right now. Like, in the old days, people would just
• 20:22
  go outside, knock on the door, talk to you. No, people just...
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  Nobody goes outside. They're all on their phones. They're on their phones.
• 20:29
  Yeah, go for a walk. Yeah, you know. But the scammers, the scams are getting really good.
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  Yeah, and they know where the target is, too. So, most of them,
• 20:37
  they study human psychology, too.
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  So, it's a whole psychological thing. They're not just making this stuff up.
• 20:44
  They have scripts that they repeat with every single person.
• 20:48
  Oh, wow. They seem like a multi-millions company.
• 20:51
  Yeah. Remember when I told you about the nanny that, so anyway,
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  she fell in love with this guy. Okay. From the UK.
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  Okay. And she said he was flying to the Philippines. He was a doctor as well.
• 21:04
  Oh, my God. He was flying to the Philippines. He's a doctor. Okay.
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  And he's going to come back through and see her on his way back.
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  So, of course, he's in the Philippines.
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  And she came the reason she came to me and opened up
• 21:19
  is because she needed to borrow money from me oh my god
• 21:22
  to send to him and he wanted
• 21:25
  three thousand dollars the three thousand the three is
• 21:28
  a magic because he got his passport taken in
• 21:31
  the philippine or he it was stolen and he
• 21:34
  his credit cards were stolen all of his money was
• 21:37
  gone and he needed money to make
• 21:40
  it back oh my god and he missed
• 21:43
  his flight because his plane ticket was there and he
• 21:45
  needed money for the flight and he needed money
• 21:48
  to get back through to the uk oh my god in order to see her and she really wanted
• 21:55
  to see him i said honey this is a scam she's like no it's not i go well tell
• 22:00
  him no to the money and then see if he still talks to you and she told him no and she doesn't have it.
• 22:09
  And he cut off all communication. See?
• 22:13
  And she started crying.
• 22:15
  My God, these people play with people's life. They're playing with hearts.
• 22:20
  Yeah, it's good. They are good. Mm-hmm.
• 22:23
  And they don't just open up from the first conversation, ask for money.
• 22:27
  They're going to talk to you multiple times first.
• 22:29
  No, they are playing with your emotions in such a deep way that it makes people
• 22:34
  cry. Yeah. She was in love with the guy.
• 22:36
  Oh, my God. Now, I will say you could text somebody and talk to somebody and
• 22:41
  fall for them pretty quickly.
• 22:42
  And if they are that way, it's not good. Oh, my goodness.
• 22:51
  That is just crazy.
• 22:53
  That's bad. You make me want to shut down all my social media.
• 22:59
  The other thing is, guys, you should always have a virus scanner on your computer.
• 23:06
  Because sometimes you may open an email inadvertently and
• 23:08
  not realize what you just did and i recommend people
• 23:11
  do a virus check at least once every other day oh wow
• 23:14
  you do you have to but anyway so they're playing with your heart they're make
• 23:19
  they're making people fall in love with him and the reason why he told me is
• 23:22
  i think he's in love with her he's in love with her because i i told him i i
• 23:27
  wasn't dating anyone right now and but i was dating i just ended a short
• 23:33
  relationship with someone and i wasn't dating anyone right now but i asked him
• 23:40
  if he's dating because he should get out there a date because he's recently
• 23:42
  divorced he's an old friend.
• 23:45
  And he said well i kind of dating he goes but she's from the ukraine i go what,
• 23:51
  he's like yeah she's supposed to come out and see me this week i'm like really
• 23:55
  he's like yeah i sent her i go you no more money i go you stop the money and
• 24:00
  she'll stop talking to you yeah i don't think he wants her to stop talking to
• 24:04
  him yeah do you know there's an ai bot right now,
• 24:08
  that it's called your ai boyfriend oh
• 24:12
  my god and you can create boyfriend or a girlfriend however you want him to
• 24:16
  look that you talk to every day and basically this it's an app and you can go
• 24:22
  and people are so lonely that they're talking to computers because they're so
• 24:27
  lonely yeah and And I downloaded it just to see what it was.
• 24:32
  It creeped me out. So I deleted it after one try.
• 24:35
  But I was like, wow, this is really weird. But the AI bot is,
• 24:39
  it's something, right? And people are doing it.
• 24:43
  That's their new boyfriend. And what's going to happen, it's going to evolve
• 24:46
  from AI bots to actual robots.
• 24:48
  And people are going to start buying robots to get over their loneliness.
• 24:53
  It's already had a movie out. Yes. And people do do that.
• 24:56
  Mm-hmm. so just so you know this is kind of the place we're at this is people
• 25:02
  do not connect no we need people do not communicate like they used to yeah we
• 25:08
  need to go back to the old-fashioned way this ai take over now facebook dating yeah,
• 25:14
  You actually tend to meet some decent people on Facebook dating.
• 25:17
  I will say it's better than some of the other apps because you can actually
• 25:21
  identify where they're at and you have to really narrow down to the location
• 25:27
  and make sure that they're like within 20 or 30.
• 25:29
  Guys, you don't really want somebody two hours away if you're going to be dating them seriously.
• 25:34
  But then again, you find a lot of emotionally unavailable people online dating.
• 25:38
  Remember when we had that episode on being emotionally unavailable?
• 25:43
  The reality is is i think most of the emotionally
• 25:46
  unavailable people are on online dating i think
• 25:49
  75 to 80 percent of the people online are
• 25:52
  emotionally unavailable and you can tell this because what will happen is they'll
• 25:56
  start texting you and then they just abruptly stop something triggers them or
• 26:02
  they're talking to you and maybe it's like a flashback or maybe they just don't
• 26:07
  they're not really taking dating seriously.
• 26:10
  And they can hide behind their computer screen.
• 26:13
  So you're going to deal with a lot of emotionally unavailable people.
• 26:16
  And what it does is it turns some people off from the whole dating idea.
• 26:20
  Because people say they're going to take you out and then they disappear or they ghost you.
• 26:25
  And it just makes people sad. And so then people stop dating altogether.
• 26:29
  So it does happen. And then you'll meet the other people that lie to you they'll
• 26:35
  lie to you about different things on their profile and all of these things make
• 26:40
  it so people don't want to date real people so then when they run into a person.
• 26:44
  That's giving them a ton of attention, a ton of affection online,
• 26:48
  and is all into them, telling them maybe they love them, and they can't wait to see them. I miss you.
• 26:55
  I can't wait to see you. I'm so excited to finally meet you,
• 26:57
  but I'm going to need some money to get there because I'm all out of money.
• 27:01
  Oh, my God. And I honestly feel like, I know your friend gave this guy money,
• 27:06
  but I really feel like probably men get scammed more than women on this one
• 27:10
  because I know we have friends that were women that got scammed.
• 27:14
  But I think men are probably more gullible.
• 27:17
  Yeah. And if you put on your profile, you're divorced or single, you are a target. Yeah.
• 27:22
  You may actually want to change your settings so that people stop scamming you. Mm-hmm.
• 27:28
  And then the other thing is, is if they see that you're the other,
• 27:32
  like if they can see your friends, what happens sometimes is they'll go friend
• 27:37
  one of your friends so that it looks like you guys are familiar or know each other.
• 27:42
  And then they'll try to be friends with you because you've got a friend of a friend right.
• 27:47
  There and when that happens it's a
• 27:50
  scam and that's what happened with the the
• 27:53
  guy from honolulu he was friends with 10 of my friends but he wasn't
• 27:56
  real somebody just probably created a fake profile i'm sure and with ai you
• 28:01
  can make so many pictures you can make so hot you can look hot well and here's
• 28:06
  the thing they don't at least the guys the guys look more distinguished but
• 28:11
  They're not super hot, at least the ones in my age group.
• 28:14
  A lot of them are military, too. They have military pictures.
• 28:17
  So they'll put them in a military uniform because people trust people in the military.
• 28:21
  Yes. Or they'll put them in a firefighter or policeman's uniform. People trust people.
• 28:26
  In a uniform. In a uniform. And women are attracted to that.
• 28:30
  So I've had a lot of military scammers. You know what? I said it was 15.
• 28:33
  It's probably been way more than that. I probably get a scammer.
• 28:36
  I got two on Monday. I probably get a scammer at least a week.
• 28:40
  I mean, most of them I don't even, most of them I just, I can identify as a
• 28:45
  scammer within a few seconds and I let them go.
• 28:47
  I probably had 15 that interacted with me more than a text or two.
• 28:51
  Like the two from Monday I've already deleted.
• 28:55
  So I don't even know how they became friends with me I think the one of them
• 28:58
  was just a follower not a friend and they messaged me from being a follower
• 29:01
  but yeah so I would say and I've never given anybody money not one person online
• 29:07
  guys I've never given anybody money and I get scammers coming out of woodwork
• 29:10
  every week and the summertime I will say there's more than most,
• 29:14
  so you think summertime people go out there do stuff yeah I have had so many
• 29:19
  men try especially Actually, right after I got divorced, it was worse than it is now.
• 29:23
  There were scammers everywhere because I changed my profile to say divorced.
• 29:29
  And I'm sure it triggers a flag
• 29:31
  somewhere that they have some type of tool that is pulling in the data.
• 29:36
  And I'm now a hot target. Yeah, you are.
• 29:40
  They send people so they have scripts. They got fake profiles.
• 29:44
  It's all about the emotional manipulation. And the more they can manipulate
• 29:49
  you, as we have people that are live, that are gaslighters and narcissists and manipulators,
• 29:55
  you got to realize that there's so many manipulators online. For sure.
• 30:01
  They will mirror exactly what you want. These people are super smart.
• 30:05
  They are. They're going to build your trust.
• 30:08
  And they're always too good to be true.
• 30:11
  They are. They're too good to be true. Like a fairy tale.
• 30:14
  Like a fairy tale. Like they're exactly like you are. They're exactly what you wanted to have.
• 30:19
  It's exactly what you want to hear.
• 30:22
  Exactly what you want to hear. I think these people know after the first conversation
• 30:27
  because they study this and don't know what the next step will be. Yes.
• 30:34
  They know what the next step will be.
• 30:36
  And if they're too good to be true, they probably are.
• 30:40
  Now, usually they're not close. Sometimes they're like an hour away,
• 30:44
  but usually they're not.
• 30:46
  And they're going to keep manipulating you. They're going to look if you have
• 30:50
  kids. They're going to say they have kids too.
• 30:52
  They're going to try to bond with you on common ideas.
• 30:57
  Or they're going to want to use your services for something.
• 31:00
  If you're in real estate, they're going to reach out to you and say, hey, I need a realtor.
• 31:05
  And then they're going to try to weasel their way in that way.
• 31:07
  If you're in sales of any kind, they're going to say, I need that product.
• 31:12
  So you're going to get doubly or triply hit by different types of personalities
• 31:17
  when this happens. Oh, wow. This is crazy.
• 31:21
  Yeah, it's crazy. This is kind of the way it is.
• 31:24
  That's just crazy. It is crazy.
• 31:27
  I think that the more you are online, the more they will come after you.
• 31:34
  Instagram is the same way.
• 31:36
  It's people on instagram it's always in
• 31:39
  the private messaging though guys yeah and people will friend you
• 31:42
  there are so many fake instagram profiles now
• 31:45
  with ai and some of them state that this
• 31:47
  is an ai generated profile and people don't care and people still
• 31:50
  send money don't you report this people
• 31:53
  though you can report them there's so
• 31:56
  many scams or scams in all different areas of every type of business and people
• 32:02
  send large sums of money crazy yeah people have even gotten in trouble wiring
• 32:07
  funds for a real estate transaction to an email to a fake wiring because somebody
• 32:12
  spoofed an email saying it was from a title company,
• 32:15
  So there have been scams upon scams, and those are hundreds of thousands of dollars.
• 32:20
  Yeah, those are not. It's not small numbers. No, no, no, no.
• 32:25
  So they're going to mirror exactly what you're looking for. So if you're buying
• 32:28
  a house, don't go put it on your Facebook page.
• 32:30
  No, right. Because then somebody's going to scam you for the house purchase.
• 32:35
  And then you've got to be patient, okay? Then when I say you've got to be patient,
• 32:38
  you've got to be patient in the dating thing.
• 32:40
  If you're dating someone online and you've never met them after a few weeks it's probably a scam.
• 32:47
  And sometimes the people will actually groom you for months though they may
• 32:52
  be reaching out and talking to you for two or three months before they ask for
• 32:55
  money so this is no small no small task oh my god yeah that's scary yeah it
• 33:04
  was so funny because he sent me pictures of of
• 33:07
  a person a while ago that he thought he was dating that
• 33:10
  was and i go and he sent me two or three pictures i go he's just not even the
• 33:14
  same person those are two different women he's like oh no it's her i'm like
• 33:18
  no it's not the face is different the body's different this is completely ai
• 33:21
  generated and so you have to realize they're grooming people for a long time
• 33:26
  and sometimes they mess up and they send two different women as pictures yeah,
• 33:30
  That's craziness. And all they've got to do, guys, is go through your pictures
• 33:35
  and see what your ex-husband or your ex-wife looked like.
• 33:41
  And then what they'll do is they'll post that.
• 33:44
  Or they'll send you those pictures to say, hey, this is what I look like. And they know your type.
• 33:51
  Because all they had to do was go through your Facebook. Go through your Facebook.
• 33:54
  So if you got divorced or single, you may want to just take your status off.
• 33:59
  If you're getting a lot of scammers in fact i probably should
• 34:02
  because i'm just kind of annoyed with all the scammers people leave me alone
• 34:05
  then you should create another one and put your profile say a scammer police
• 34:11
  no no but the romance scams are super big because people are lonely yeah,
• 34:21
  it's always overseas almost i mean i would say nine nine times out of ten it's
• 34:25
  somebody overseas because they know that you can't find them then.
• 34:28
  The military service is super big. Oh, or they have a sick family member.
• 34:33
  Oh, that's big. That's a big one, too. They have a sick family member or they're
• 34:36
  stranded or they want to come visit but they can't get out of the country.
• 34:41
  Here's the thing, guys. In order to travel from a lot of these countries, you have to have a visa.
• 34:46
  Right. You don't just have a passport. Yes. So it's a process.
• 34:50
  So don't think that somebody's just jumping on a plane because you sent them a plane ticket. No.
• 34:56
  There's also the crypto investment scam that's related to
• 34:59
  romance so that's one the one that was
• 35:01
  from honolulu they were telling me about how they could
• 35:04
  make me rich with crypto and and how i just should
• 35:07
  invest through them and that they're a financial investor he was a
• 35:10
  financial supposedly he was a financial planner so i played along with that
• 35:15
  one because i could tell after he said crypto that was going to be scam i go
• 35:18
  oh i just don't know very much about it even though i have a lot of crypto like
• 35:22
  actual crypto but he said i was like oh i just don't really know anything about
• 35:26
  it he's like i was like maybe i could invest through you.
• 35:29
  And he's like oh that would be amazing i go yeah could i
• 35:32
  send a million dollars and he really
• 35:36
  got excited and i was just like i was playing along and it was just
• 35:38
  so funny to just watch and sometimes i do i'll play along a
• 35:41
  little bit just to kind of see where their scam is going now he
• 35:44
  had been talking to me for a week or two the other
• 35:48
  red flag was he his english was really odd it
• 35:52
  was like broken english but he said he was from japan or
• 35:55
  something originally but he lives in hulu now but
• 35:58
  the weird thing is like he started like trying to own my
• 36:00
  children like i will be a good dad i'm gonna
• 36:03
  be a great father to your children i'm like i don't want you to be a father
• 36:06
  my children i don't even know who the hell you are you guys your
• 36:09
  boundaries really need to go up i think people
• 36:12
  have such loose boundaries when they get divorced and
• 36:15
  they're single that they get scammed because they have
• 36:18
  no boundaries i was playing along until he started bringing up
• 36:21
  my children which i hadn't even told him about my children
• 36:24
  so i was like shut it down i blocked him
• 36:26
  on everything after he said children i don't know it creeped me
• 36:29
  out yeah yeah i couldn't even play then i couldn't even like
• 36:32
  mess with him anymore it just creeped me out but they
• 36:35
  will tell you how great they are trading you'll never
• 36:38
  meet them all the investments will be fake you'll send money and it'll be a
• 36:41
  fake investment don't send money to anyone again that's like the biggest as
• 36:46
  soon as you say if you tell someone i don't have any money watch how fast they
• 36:50
  stop communicating with you right that's all you gotta say is i don't have any
• 36:53
  money and don't tell people that you do have money.
• 36:57
  Finances are private guys you should not
• 37:00
  be talking a good deal about your finances to people
• 37:03
  to anybody to anyone a lot
• 37:06
  of times they'll catfish there'll be fake profiles they
• 37:09
  use stolen pictures sometimes you
• 37:12
  can actually google the picture and it'll be across multiple profiles
• 37:15
  if you go to like for
• 37:18
  instance the scam on the the courthouse where they
• 37:21
  said i was supposed to being for jury duty i went
• 37:24
  to the county website okay and
• 37:27
  right on there that exact scam was detailed what
• 37:30
  they were doing they were calling people all over oh wow because it's so prevalent
• 37:33
  now that because i ended up calling and then what i did is i went to the jury
• 37:39
  duty website for the county and that scam was the first thing it talked about
• 37:45
  and because it was that prevalent So I was probably, I don't know.
• 37:50
  And people were giving money to this. Some people fell for it and gave money.
• 37:53
  Gave their credit cards, gave $3,000. Yeah, people would scam.
• 37:57
  Now, here's the thing. You can get that money back sometimes on your credit
• 38:00
  cards. So you got to be careful, too.
• 38:03
  Yeah, there were people that were getting scammed left and right.
• 38:05
  Now, I did talk to the guy for a couple minutes, but my spidey senses went off
• 38:10
  that it was a scam, right? I get a good intuition feel.
• 38:13
  When anybody ever calls for money, I don't even like to talk to people on the
• 38:17
  phone regarding anything.
• 38:20
  Like I had my bank call once that wanted to change my account up.
• 38:24
  And they were asking a lot of questions like, why do you need this information?
• 38:27
  And they're like, well, we just need to know if we can serve you in any better
• 38:31
  way. I go, well, I don't want to give any of this information out over the phone.
• 38:33
  They shouldn't be asking that information.
• 38:36
  Just realize there's a lot of scammers out there. And you have to double check
• 38:40
  phone numbers, etc. Mm-hmm.
• 38:43
  Once they gain your trust and they know there's like a trigger
• 38:46
  and there's a time frame too i
• 38:49
  think if you've been talking to somebody for a month i've never talked to anybody
• 38:52
  for a month honestly that was a scammer i think once
• 38:55
  you've talked to somebody for a month you'll know
• 38:58
  that they're a scammer so if they've gained your trust and a month later they
• 39:04
  start saying hey i would love to come visit you i just don't have the funds
• 39:07
  right now that's how they'll start they're not going to ask directly for money
• 39:10
  they'll just drop hints and or they'll send sex photos.
• 39:16
  To try to get especially with men men now men don't usually send women sex photos
• 39:21
  they might send some cute photos but they don't send usually they don't send
• 39:25
  dick pics but when women will send naked photos to men and say don't share this
• 39:31
  i'm very vulnerable and it can lead to blackmail,
• 39:35
  right so they'll say send me a picture back and then
• 39:38
  they can blackmail you say hey i'm going to send this out to your friends as well
• 39:41
  unless you send me some money that's that's what they'll
• 39:44
  do if they can't get you to send money after the trust is built so there's a
• 39:48
  two-part so the first part is to get money willingly for a plane ticket or an
• 39:54
  investment or because there's a family emergency or something like that but
• 39:59
  if you say no to that but you have already sent naked pictures of yourself,
• 40:04
  they can go to Facebook, find all your friends and family and blackmail you
• 40:08
  and say, hey, I'm going to send these pictures out, these compromising pictures
• 40:11
  out of you to your whole family unless you send me money.
• 40:15
  And they'll keep asking for more and more and more. And that's a scam.
• 40:20
  That's crazy. Yeah, I actually got an email.
• 40:23
  This is maybe five, six years ago that said, we know what you do.
• 40:29
  We have you on a porn site, which I don't look at porn. So I knew it was a lie after all.
• 40:35
  And we have pictures of you from your camera in a compromising position,
• 40:39
  in a compromising way. Right.
• 40:41
  And we need you to send us money or we're going to send it out to all your friends and family.
• 40:46
  Well, first of all, I'm not on porn. So I knew it was a lie. but I
• 40:49
  was just like wow they're very bold there's
• 40:52
  a blackmail yeah or there's one that says you have
• 40:55
  24 hours to send us money or we're gonna lock down your computer there's
• 40:59
  that one as well I see I got that one did you
• 41:02
  yes yeah so there's so many scams I I really recommend just get spam filters
• 41:09
  on your computer don't talk to people you don't know and if they're overseas
• 41:13
  guys that's a it's a huge red flag and honestly you don't want somebody from
• 41:18
  overseas anyway because it's not culturally.
• 41:21
  Normal but yeah why would you want somebody then you
• 41:24
  remember somebody from overseas you got to kill them from like square
• 41:27
  one exactly baby exactly like raising another baby there's also the inheritance
• 41:32
  scam is it i'm coming into inheritance next month i've got like a hundred thousand
• 41:38
  i've had this one so many times different versions of the inheritance scam but
• 41:42
  i need you to send me X amount of money so that I can visit you.
• 41:46
  And then once I get my inheritance, I can pay you back. Oh, trust fund baby.
• 41:51
  Yeah, supposedly. Or there's a business opportunity they want you to invest in.
• 41:56
  Unless you know the person, don't do it.
• 41:58
  Yeah. It's just the emotional blackmail that they do, it's so demented and so cruel.
• 42:05
  That is crazy. People don't treat each other with respect anymore.
• 42:10
  No. They just don't. mm-mm and.
• 42:13
  People will share intimate things. And they'll say, like, if you love me, you'd help me out.
• 42:19
  I guess you don't really love me. No. That's manipulation to its core.
• 42:24
  I mean, it's complete manipulation.
• 42:27
  So what you can do to protect yourself. So let's talk about that.
• 42:30
  Because, first of all, we already said don't friend people you don't know. Right.
• 42:34
  Secondly, don't friend people that are friends of friends that may have one
• 42:38
  or two connections that are overseas, that are in military uniform.
• 42:43
  Form or that have something that
• 42:46
  doesn't make sense if it rubs you the wrong way probably is
• 42:49
  wrong yeah golden rule is
• 42:52
  never send anyone money if you have a
• 42:55
  friend that needs you to something be careful with that
• 42:57
  too i've gotten text messages saying i lost my
• 43:00
  phone i'm at the store
• 43:03
  and i need to get money can you
• 43:07
  venmo me or can you zel
• 43:10
  me or can you go get a walmart cash card or go to the store and get a cash card
• 43:16
  and send me the numbers off the cash card that's a common one too people are
• 43:20
  asking for money even with friends they say i lost my phone or my phone got
• 43:25
  stolen i'm in a bad way i was able to remember your phone number,
• 43:29
  and I just messaged you from this new phone I got, which is probably a burner
• 43:33
  phone or something. A burner phone, yeah.
• 43:34
  And they scan me that way. So it could even act, they could even act like a
• 43:38
  friend. And how do they find out who these people are?
• 43:40
  From Facebook or from Instagram.
• 43:43
  And they see who you're talking to most and then they act like they're messaging
• 43:48
  you. Messaging you. Messaging you.
• 43:49
  Now, your friends, I recommend just calling that number and talking because
• 43:54
  you can call them out right there.
• 43:56
  People text so much that they've forgotten that you can pick up the phone and
• 44:01
  have a phone conversation.
• 44:03
  Yeah. So avoid, it's called love bombing. Remember the whole love bombing with
• 44:07
  narcissism? Well, this is long distance love bombing.
• 44:10
  They're going to shower you with so much care and affection and love that it's
• 44:15
  going to be a little overwhelming. Yeah.
• 44:18
  I recommend doing a video call. Yeah. You can see their face.
• 44:22
  And make sure it's not like a 800 pound bubba like hasn't
• 44:26
  left his bed you know what i mean yeah you'll you'll
• 44:29
  get they'll avoid face-to-face interactions i had
• 44:32
  one guy that i thought was a scammer he wanted to talk on whatsapp and of course
• 44:37
  when we i go but can we facetime each other because i knew he was because whenever
• 44:42
  i hear whatsapp i'm like ah scammer i go okay so let's facetime each other he's
• 44:46
  like okay and on whatsapp and so we go to facetime each other and his camera's just not working.
• 44:53
  I don't know what's wrong with my phone. My camera's just not working.
• 44:56
  It's just not working. He acted like he was going to FaceTime me and then he didn't.
• 45:00
  Because they know we're onto them now. And they know when we're asking for a
• 45:04
  FaceTime that we're onto them.
• 45:06
  I see. So their cameras are never working. Right.
• 45:09
  Or if it is working, it might be a guy, but it's not going to be somebody there.
• 45:13
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, of course, he was traveling into a place where the reception wasn't bad.
• 45:18
  Maybe that's what it was. And yeah, it's it's crazy.
• 45:22
  That is. I would recommend setting your social media profile to private instead of public.
• 45:29
  And that way you're only talking to people, people, you know.
• 45:33
  So I know people are using it for making money. And there are times when you
• 45:37
  have pages, etc. I have so many.
• 45:39
  I think I get so many scammers because I have so many Facebook pages,
• 45:43
  Instagram pages, TikTok.
• 45:46
  I'm on social media all over the place. So I've got my presence,
• 45:50
  my social media presence is huge.
• 45:52
  But because I have such a huge social media presence, I've seen almost every type of scam.
• 45:58
  I see. And I'm not saying I'll never get scammed, but I've done pretty well
• 46:01
  so far. I haven't gotten scammed yet.
• 46:03
  So set your profile private? Set it to private.
• 46:07
  Set it to private on every platform you have. Take off your phone numbers?
• 46:13
  And then what you can do is you can create a webpage. There's different providers
• 46:17
  out there where you can link all of your social media platforms to it.
• 46:21
  So then you can just give them the website so your friends can just click on
• 46:26
  your profiles and join you or meet you from there.
• 46:31
  Don't overshare personal details online. Never. Because some,
• 46:36
  well, there's some things that people share.
• 46:39
  But, like, I don't know how they got my address. I guess maybe they did a county
• 46:43
  record lookup because your address is not typically on your social media.
• 46:47
  When the people said I was not there for jury duty. I'm dedicated from Amazon.
• 46:51
  You can do a basic county record search.
• 46:54
  Oh, okay. That's a public record? Yeah, they couldn't get it from Amazon.
• 46:57
  Amazon, my profile, unless they have access to the Amazon back-end data.
• 47:01
  If you own a home, they probably want to go after homeowners, right? Yeah, yeah.
• 47:07
  So, yeah, the Amazon, they don't have access to that data, but they can just
• 47:11
  do a public record search.
• 47:12
  So if they know where I live in the town, which is on my profile.
• 47:15
  Yeah. Which I should remove.
• 47:17
  If they know my birthday, if they know my name, all they got to do is do a search
• 47:22
  and they can find the county records to see where I live and they can pull my address.
• 47:26
  You could remove all that, though. I can remove all that.
• 47:29
  I think I'm going to start locking things down a little bit more because it
• 47:33
  is getting a little crazy out there with the scammers. The scammers are out of control right now.
• 47:37
  The AI is making it so bad. Is this crazy?
• 47:40
  It is so bad. I got multiple texts a day about the insurance thing. Oh, yeah.
• 47:45
  Yeah. Or health insurance, life insurance, car insurance. They say also verify
• 47:49
  people with Google. You know you can chat GPT people now.
• 47:53
  Oh, really? You can put somebody's name in, first name, last name,
• 47:56
  and ask them to give you all the information they know about a person.
• 48:00
  It'll even pull the picture if it has access. It'll pull their social media.
• 48:04
  Wow. The real person, not the scammer. I thought you could only do that on LinkedIn.
• 48:09
  You can do it. It'll pull all the social media links. I found out a guy was
• 48:14
  lying to me about his age from it.
• 48:17
  Wow. Yeah. So all you got to do is chat GPT it. You get their names, where they work.
• 48:23
  If you do have a scammer talk to you on Facebook, you should report it.
• 48:28
  Because if they're scamming you, they're scamming other people. Oh, yeah.
• 48:31
  And even on dating apps, you should report it. Because a lot of the dating apps,
• 48:35
  I mean, Hinge, for one, used to be a really good dating app platform.
• 48:39
  But what I was finding is all the cryptocurrency scammers were joining it because
• 48:43
  they were getting people to invest in their cryptocurrency scams.
• 48:46
  So within, I don't know, within 10 to 15 texts, if you're talking to a person,
• 48:52
  they start talking about crypto.
• 48:53
  It was a scam. And I was just it was so many cryptocurrency scams.
• 48:57
  So I left Hinge. That is crazy.
• 49:00
  Bumble is all the hookups. Bumble and Tinder. And I didn't want that either.
• 49:04
  So that's why I went to Facebook dating.
• 49:06
  So at least the people I think are real on Facebook dating.
• 49:10
  However, there's a lot of scammers. That crazy. That just crazy. A lot of scammers.
• 49:15
  One of the things to online dating is maybe you should just not.
• 49:19
  But online dating is one thing. The people that message you on Facebook is completely
• 49:23
  another. I'm not even on an online dating app right now.
• 49:27
  But I get messaged from people on Facebook all the time.
• 49:31
  All the time. And you can tell when they're scammers. Some of them even have
• 49:34
  AI. You can totally tell the AI generated pictures.
• 49:38
  That's crazy. i won't accept a friend request from anyone unless they have at
• 49:43
  least 40 friends in common,
• 49:47
  that's my rule that's that's the minimum for me
• 49:50
  to even accept it unless i know the person directly there's been some
• 49:52
  people i know like he said hey i'm gonna ask for
• 49:55
  a friend request and then i'll do it right away but if
• 49:58
  i don't know them personally and i haven't met
• 50:00
  them face to face i won't friend them i've got like 3 000 friends but
• 50:04
  i only friend people that have at least 40 friends in common it's
• 50:08
  like a rule for me because you know if they only have five or ten they're probably
• 50:11
  a scammer because why are they friending you in the first place right so what
• 50:15
  else can you protect yourself set your setting to private set your setting to
• 50:20
  private remove don't send money remove your information don't send money uh-huh ask to video call.
• 50:29
  And don't overshare personal data and then also google them or chat gpt some
• 50:35
  type of ai to look them up.
• 50:37
  And then when you realize they're a scammer, report the,
• 50:41
  Report the profile to the platform. Oh, wow. I've reported a lot of profiles.
• 50:46
  Sometimes I just delete. Like the two guys for money, I just didn't even want
• 50:50
  to waste my time, but I just deleted them.
• 50:52
  Because I don't report someone unless I know they're a scammer.
• 50:55
  And for me to know they're a scammer, I would have had to do a few more texts
• 51:00
  and I didn't want to waste my time. How about shopping system?
• 51:02
  You know, like Facebook market when I buy stuff off there. Oh,
• 51:05
  there's scammers on there too.
• 51:07
  There's scammers that want you to send money before you actually purchase the
• 51:11
  product. Yeah. And then the money's gone.
• 51:14
  So you have to be careful with that to say, yes, but you have to send the money
• 51:18
  before you show up so I can make sure you're a real buyer is what they'll say.
• 51:21
  Or send half now and half would bring cash. No, don't do it. Don't do it.
• 51:26
  So now that you let's talk a little bit about online dating scammers.
• 51:30
  So instead of doing online dating, you can just get referrals from friends for
• 51:36
  dating. Of course. I think that's the best way.
• 51:39
  I think so, too. The old-fashioned way. I think so, too.
• 51:42
  If friends, like, now I know you're going to want to set me up now.
• 51:46
  You know, can you tell, like, in my face, my head is spinning right now?
• 51:51
  Why? Because I'm not dating anyone right now? Like, my head is spinning right
• 51:54
  now. Yeah. So let your trusted circle set you up. Yeah.
• 52:00
  It's more accountability is better. Come up with a game night or something or
• 52:04
  dinner, you know? It's less mysterious that way. Yeah.
• 52:08
  So that's a better way to go. The social clubs are great too because you're
• 52:12
  actually meeting people face to face.
• 52:13
  Let's get back to talking to people on the phone and meeting people face to face.
• 52:18
  Now the scammers will talk to you on the phone, but they tend to not meet you face to face. Huh.
• 52:24
  Yeah. How about my thing? So I had a story on this. So we met people at the gym, right?
• 52:29
  And one of my friends would just invite him out to come hang out with a cool sister.
• 52:35
  Next thing she knows, he was interesting in the other friend.
• 52:37
  Yeah. It could happen, too. It happens. Yeah. Yeah.
• 52:42
  Connection's hard, guys. I know. It's crazy. Connection's hard because we're
• 52:45
  not just looking for the physical connection, right?
• 52:47
  You can look at other people and say, wow, that guy is so hot.
• 52:51
  Yeah. I would totally date him. And then you talk to him. Yeah.
• 52:54
  Oh that guy's so hot and then you have a discussion about
• 52:57
  something intelligently or whatever and you
• 53:00
  realize he's not so smart so connection's
• 53:04
  hard it's hard and then on top of the connection they have to be single right
• 53:09
  on top of the connection they have to like similar things this is why social
• 53:15
  clubs are so good too because then you know they kind of like similar things
• 53:18
  and then if you have children that's a whole new ballpark right because now do they have children?
• 53:24
  Do you have children? Are you going to have to integrate the children together?
• 53:26
  Is it going to be complicated?
• 53:29
  I think you can get a lot from people's vibes, but it is a difficult thing to find a connection.
• 53:36
  And I love connections where people have similar backgrounds.
• 53:40
  Like I grew up kind of tough and poor.
• 53:43
  When people have a similar background to me, it's, I like it. Yeah.
• 53:48
  And because I know that they've gone somewhere. Now I've had people scam me that way.
• 53:53
  That crazy. Act like they have a similar background. And then I was talking
• 53:57
  to a guy for a week, a lot, and then he goes to me right before we were supposed to meet.
• 54:02
  Wow. Maybe he was a scammer, too. Mm-hmm. Who knows? You know,
• 54:06
  there are scammers out there. You just have to be careful.
• 54:08
  You say that let's meet face-to-face is actually better.
• 54:12
  Yeah, face-to-face is better. However, you have to be careful with that,
• 54:15
  too. You have to go back. You need to know where you go, too.
• 54:19
  Yeah, I don't meet people right away. I like to get to know them on the phone a little bit first.
• 54:22
  And then if they're a scammer, I walk away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah.
• 54:28
  It's so tough out there, I could imagine. It is tough.
• 54:32
  Yeah, yeah. You need to work on you. because if
• 54:35
  you're the type of person that needs the validation so
• 54:38
  badly from someone else that you in the
• 54:41
  in your heart you probably knew was a lie anyway then there's
• 54:44
  a problem and you're still doing it you need therapy you just
• 54:47
  do you probably have a lot of unresolved turmoil
• 54:51
  from previous relationships or you got injured or
• 54:54
  you got broken somehow it's not
• 54:57
  healthy no it's not healthy many successful relationships they start in social
• 55:04
  groups leadership events masterminds even alumni if you go to alumni or you
• 55:09
  go to a class reunion you might meet somebody that way and here's a big one
• 55:13
  a lot of people are meeting people at church again,
• 55:16
  we had our 35 high school reunions this is way back when i just tell you my age but anyway.
• 55:24
  The they end up meeting up like with the high school sweetheart and you know
• 55:28
  they came back they got hooked up.
• 55:30
  Yeah. You know why? It's because they align with your values.
• 55:33
  If someone aligns with your values, I think you already have a foundation.
• 55:37
  Yeah. They're not together.
• 55:39
  Yeah. If you've got similarities like that, you know, similar schools,
• 55:43
  similar background, if you have a faith, those are similar values.
• 55:48
  And when you have alignment, that's the first start.
• 55:50
  Church is a big thing. Church is a big thing. Yeah. But don't let loneliness.
• 55:55
  Blind you it's a red flag yeah you
• 55:58
  deserve love not manipulation yeah a scammers
• 56:01
  they count on the fact that you have hope for a
• 56:04
  better love but now you know better i mean
• 56:07
  listen to us i mean there's so many scammers you gotta protect yourself
• 56:10
  yeah especially online they they got your numbers
• 56:13
  they do they do yeah yeah no yeah they are such trained manipulators yeah so
• 56:21
  these are the types of scammers okay we're going to go over those real quick
• 56:24
  that you're going to run into most of them are international there's international
• 56:29
  networks they have whole companies,
• 56:32
  and they'll they'll shoot different ideas off of them some of them are even
• 56:35
  ai powered scammers now oh my so people don't even have to talk to you you're
• 56:40
  actually talking to a bot oh it's too good to be true because you're talking
• 56:45
  to a bot and the pictures are completely ai generated but You can't even tell
• 56:49
  that you're talking to a bot.
• 56:50
  You can't, but they'll give you vague answers and that you're going to,
• 56:54
  they're going to fall for you very quickly.
• 56:57
  They're always having financial struggles. It's always, they're always a victim.
• 57:02
  If you're one of those people that's complaining a lot about your life and you're
• 57:05
  sad or you're depressed or you're not happy with your life and you talk about
• 57:12
  a lot, you're going to be more likely to attract a scammer because they look
• 57:14
  for that on your profile too.
• 57:16
  If your posts are all about depression and sadness, you're probably going to
• 57:23
  get a lot of the romance scammers.
• 57:25
  The military hero abroad, they're always overseas and they're always in the military.
• 57:32
  They can't meet you because they're deployed.
• 57:34
  And all of a sudden, what's going to happen is they're going to have an accident.
• 57:39
  They need money for medical expenses or travel expenses.
• 57:41
  That's their stick. That's a big thing.
• 57:44
  The crypto king or queen it teaches you how to invest
• 57:47
  they're gonna disappear with your money as soon as they get it
• 57:50
  oh my so we did talk about that the sick
• 57:53
  relative lie so this is where my parents are sick yeah my kid is sick i need
• 57:59
  money for a surgery they get big money this way guys oh my god yeah the go fund
• 58:04
  me is and they will probably have sent money or sent pictures of their kids
• 58:09
  yeah uh-huh and they'll say i need this money for this yeah,
• 58:13
  Yeah, it's crazy. And then business opportunities or inheritance.
• 58:18
  That's a big one, too. That's going to ask for upfront money.
• 58:20
  So they they just need it to pay their mortgage and they'll pay you back as
• 58:23
  soon as they, you know, get the money.
• 58:26
  And then the blackmail comes if you send intimate pictures to them.
• 58:30
  And so let's say you've sent intimate pictures because what happens is they built your trust.
• 58:35
  Mm-hmm they'll send intimate pictures of themselves
• 58:38
  to you and then you send intimate pictures
• 58:41
  back and now they're going to threaten to release it unless you pay them oh
• 58:44
  wow that's their last ditch effort yeah there's a
• 58:47
  blackmail yeah and most of the time it's deep fakes or
• 58:50
  stolen pictures or vague biases so take those pictures you can
• 58:54
  throw it into chat gpt and say hey is this picture what profiles
• 58:57
  does this picture exist on so you
• 59:00
  can actually look that up but the other ways to protect yourself so just video
• 59:04
  chat early don't send money don't send personal information do reverse image
• 59:09
  search reverse name search and then ask a lot of questions i like to ask questions
• 59:16
  because then i get to find out more about the person.
• 59:20
  And then don't allow yourself to be love bomb if they're saying they're your
• 59:24
  soulmate and they've been looking for you their whole life that's a setup it's
• 59:28
  a scam oh my god yeah it's a scam That's crazy.
• 59:33
  When you're dating, just be clear to people what you're looking for.
• 59:36
  And don't ever tell anyone you love them that you've never met.
• 59:40
  If you've never met someone, why in the hell are you telling you love them?
• 59:44
  What? Like my nanny, they were telling each other they loved each other every
• 59:47
  day. I love you. I love you too.
• 59:51
  Now, people used to do the old-fashioned pen pals, right? I mean,
• 59:54
  hell, even pen pals used to be scammers, remember?
• 59:56
  That was the original scammers. Yeah, it was original. So people will tell people
• 1:00:00
  that they love them and people will scam people that way.
• 1:00:05
  But you got to be careful with that because you just don't know.
• 1:00:09
  Make sure that when you are talking about your bio, you're not you're not giving
• 1:00:13
  away too much information about your children.
• 1:00:16
  There's also scammers that go after families that have children and then they kidnap children.
• 1:00:24
  Yeah. So some people will put their children's pictures on their profile like a family pic.
• 1:00:30
  And if it's young children, you have to be careful because there are people
• 1:00:34
  that are in sex trafficking. I mean, this is beyond scamming. This is kidnapping.
• 1:00:39
  They go after women that have young children, and they end up kidnapping their
• 1:00:44
  children. Oh, my God. It has happened.
• 1:00:47
  There's also Facebook scammers. There's been women getting killed off of Facebook, remember?
• 1:00:52
  Just put your boundaries up. It's tricky out there. If you're ever going to
• 1:00:57
  meet somebody, always meet in public anyway.
• 1:01:00
  But the scammers, they're not even going to meet you. No. They say they want
• 1:01:05
  to, but they never show up.
• 1:01:07
  They never show up. Next thing you know, they ghost you when you say you have
• 1:01:10
  no money to keep them. They will ghost you. They say, oh, you have no money.
• 1:01:13
  Then they don't want to talk to you. Yeah, move on to the next victim.
• 1:01:16
  They move on to the next victim as quickly as possible.
• 1:01:18
  I really do like the faith-based idea, like going to church and meeting someone there. Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:24
  It's so much better if they're local. If you're going to date,
• 1:01:28
  why are you even entertaining someone that's in another country? or in another state.
• 1:01:34
  Yeah. If you're serious about dating and you're healed and your soul is healed,
• 1:01:40
  there's no reason for you to do that. No.
• 1:01:43
  No. Just go out there, meet people. Go out there and meet people. That's the way to go.
• 1:01:49
  Go out there, meet people. There's so many social functions.
• 1:01:52
  There are. The luncheon, the anything. Yeah.
• 1:01:56
  Even happy hours. Even happy hours. You know?
• 1:02:00
  We've talked a lot about scammers. we hope that you don't get scammed right
• 1:02:05
  but if you do get scammed what do you do i don't know hopefully they pull themselves
• 1:02:08
  back yeah exactly if you get scammed.
• 1:02:13
  Online there's a lot of things to do one of the things you can do is report it to the police,
• 1:02:20
  for instance if it was like a the jury duty thing i'm sure people were calling the county,
• 1:02:25
  and they were saying hey i'm getting scammed and
• 1:02:29
  that's why they posted it on their website because
• 1:02:32
  it was so often the state department also the
• 1:02:35
  u.s state department that's how we we showed my nanny because they use the exact
• 1:02:41
  same words in every single script for every single person because they know
• 1:02:43
  they work the words that people were using and the text messages that because
• 1:02:48
  they posted it on the state department website the scam itself oh and it was
• 1:02:52
  a doctor it He was always a doctor.
• 1:02:54
  So it's probably the same person that scammed my nanny. I know.
• 1:02:58
  Although now it sounds like they want to open a clinic. But before it was they
• 1:03:02
  wanted to, you know, travel or they got lost in a country. Anyway, emergency emergency.
• 1:03:07
  They will post some of the scams on the State Department website.
• 1:03:10
  You can Google. Let's say you get some text message or an email.
• 1:03:14
  Highlight just a small section of that. And you Google it. And Google it.
• 1:03:18
  And you'll see, and just put the word scam behind it. And you'll see that that
• 1:03:22
  email or that text message was used over and over again.
• 1:03:25
  Wow. So you can see. It's generating. Yeah.
• 1:03:29
  Especially the early ones. The early text messages. The later ones,
• 1:03:33
  they tend to get more personal. But the first few messages.
• 1:03:37
  Google those. Yeah, it's a script. It's a script. Wow.
• 1:03:41
  You need to block people that are scammers on every platform. Uh-huh.
• 1:03:45
  You need to block them on the dating apps, text, email, social media, WhatsApp.
• 1:03:51
  WhatsApp is such a big scammer one. Oh, yeah. It's such a big,
• 1:03:54
  I see it, and I know some people use it.
• 1:03:57
  Now, I've used WhatsApp when I'm traveling overseas, because sometimes you don't
• 1:04:01
  want to use up your minutes because you don't have a lot.
• 1:04:04
  But that says a lot because WhatsApp can be used when you're traveling overseas.
• 1:04:08
  But don't confront them. It gives them more opportunity to manipulate you.
• 1:04:13
  So if you call them out on being a scammer, you know what's going to happen
• 1:04:16
  is they're going to threaten you then to expose you.
• 1:04:19
  It doesn't have to be pictures, guys.
• 1:04:21
  It can be private information that you have about you that you told them that
• 1:04:28
  you don't want other people knowing.
• 1:04:29
  Could be a lot of things. It could be something you said, not a picture.
• 1:04:33
  Yeah. So once you find the scammer, then you're going to report them.
• 1:04:38
  The FTC is a big one. So the Federal Trade Commission, that's a way to report
• 1:04:43
  them. You can also report them to the FBI.
• 1:04:45
  Oh, wow. So the person I knew that lost money to a scammer from an email where
• 1:04:49
  they wired funds into a fake title company, they had reached out to the realtor right away.
• 1:04:56
  After they wired the funds, they should have done it before.
• 1:04:58
  They should have done it before. And they said, just making sure I wired the
• 1:05:01
  funds, but I was wondering why they wanted me to wire them to two different accounts, right?
• 1:05:07
  So the realtor said,
• 1:05:10
  you weren't supposed to wire any funds yet send me the email and
• 1:05:13
  they go well the email came from you and she's like no it didn't it's
• 1:05:16
  only one decimal extra yeah there was something there was
• 1:05:19
  one letter or something off anyway what they did is they reported it to the
• 1:05:23
  fbi right away it was wired funds and they were able to freeze the funds and
• 1:05:29
  get that person's money back wow so if it's a wire and it hasn't been a full
• 1:05:34
  you know sometimes you can pull those wires back okay,
• 1:05:38
  report it to your bank or credit card company as soon as you can and give them
• 1:05:42
  the details of how you got scammed and you should also report it to your local
• 1:05:46
  police a lot of people miss this step
• 1:05:48
  but this helps especially for the local ones because they know what's happening
• 1:05:51
  if you call the police department say hey somebody calling from the irs and
• 1:05:55
  they tried to steal my money now the police probably won't care unless you gave
• 1:06:00
  them money but if you did get scammed or if you got blackmailed or threats of
• 1:06:05
  blackmail. That's illegal.
• 1:06:07
  Yeah. So you can report that to the police. Yes, definitely.
• 1:06:10
  I would recommend changing your email, your passwords often,
• 1:06:13
  your bank accounts, all your social media.
• 1:06:17
  And never, and I repeat, never give anyone your social security number.
• 1:06:21
  And never give anybody your address if you don't have to.
• 1:06:25
  Yeah. Yeah. I thought they could find out, the address. The address you can.
• 1:06:30
  They can look you up. if you own a home. If you're renting, they don't know.
• 1:06:34
  If you get scammed and let's say it's an online scam or let's say that they
• 1:06:39
  steal your credit card number because you gave somebody your credit card number,
• 1:06:42
  you need to freeze your credit card. Oh, yeah.
• 1:06:44
  Right away, report it to the credit bureaus that this was a scam.
• 1:06:47
  And sometimes you get your credit card number stolen and you didn't even use it.
• 1:06:52
  Yeah. That happened to me one time. Somebody shipped something from
• 1:06:56
  walmart to a place in pennsylvania it was a flat
• 1:06:59
  screen tv on my debit card and
• 1:07:03
  i was like what the hell is this and then the the
• 1:07:06
  credit card company tried to argue with me walmart no walmart tried to argue
• 1:07:10
  with me i was like i don't live in pennsylvania well it was a really trashy
• 1:07:14
  house too it was you could tell the house was the porch was falling down so
• 1:07:17
  i don't even think anybody lived there they probably got it shipped there and
• 1:07:20
  took it somewhere else yeah but anyway so and then they tried to argue with
• 1:07:24
  me because it was like $750.
• 1:07:26
  I was like, that's not me. I didn't buy a TV.
• 1:07:29
  I don't live in Pennsylvania. I have no idea what you're talking about.
• 1:07:31
  And I didn't buy anything from Walmart.
• 1:07:34
  And I ended up getting it back, but I had to fight for it. So realize you may
• 1:07:37
  have to fight for your money back. You can use LifeLock.
• 1:07:42
  We use that. You do. I have Aura, A-U-R-A. That's another one that's,
• 1:07:46
  Aura's good because Aura will check your social security number to see if it's gotten leaked.
• 1:07:52
  Aura will check your, any crazy charges or new credit cards that get open and stuff like that.
• 1:07:58
  And then they also have a virus checker for your computer. They have it all.
• 1:08:02
  So I use them for my virus checker. I use them for my email protector.
• 1:08:06
  I use them for everything.
• 1:08:08
  And then scammers this is
• 1:08:11
  their job guys so they're really good at they're professional
• 1:08:14
  they're not stupid they're not we
• 1:08:17
  another thing that we change our credit card numbers a lot yeah well if i ever
• 1:08:22
  see a charge that doesn't make sense i've changed my credit card numbers too
• 1:08:25
  just realize if you get scammed though you're not stupid either no because they're
• 1:08:30
  they're con artists that's their job and you're not alone so don't feel bad
• 1:08:34
  if you get scammed and tell people.
• 1:08:36
  Don't wait like her until after five times of giving money.
• 1:08:40
  If you get scammed and you gave money once, you're going to feel guilty,
• 1:08:43
  but go to someone you trust and tell them.
• 1:08:47
  You probably need to join a support group. They actually have romance scammer survivors group.
• 1:08:54
  Is it really? There's a survivor's group. So if you get scammed on a romance,
• 1:08:58
  they will help you through it. Wow.
• 1:09:00
  And then I do recommend going to coaching or therapy too. If you're getting
• 1:09:04
  scammed, If you're getting scammed, you just got a hole in your heart somewhere,
• 1:09:08
  somewhere that something's missing that you're allowing someone in to manipulate
• 1:09:13
  you, especially if you've gotten scammed more than once. Right.
• 1:09:18
  My friend that I was telling you about, he's getting scammed by somebody in
• 1:09:22
  the Ukraine, and he's also opened himself up to getting scammed by twins in Poland.
• 1:09:27
  I mean, he's like, oh, no, they're real. I go, no, they're not.
• 1:09:30
  It's like, well, they've got lots of friends.
• 1:09:32
  I go, I don't care. It might be the same person. It could be the same person.
• 1:09:36
  And it's like, really? The twins, what he's going to do with both of them?
• 1:09:41
  I guess. I don't know. Wow. So just be careful.
• 1:09:45
  And then make sure to screenshot all your text messages okay and if you've sent
• 1:09:50
  money get screenshots of the
• 1:09:51
  payments good luck getting your money back it's a it's an uphill battle,
• 1:09:56
  don't delete messages you're going to need them for law enforcement
• 1:09:59
  whether it's the fbi or your local police department never delete
• 1:10:02
  them oh wow and then realize you're going to go through a
• 1:10:05
  little bit of sadness and depression as if it was a real breakup because
• 1:10:08
  you just got lied to and betrayed and now there's a financial
• 1:10:12
  loss too probably worse well yeah because you're
• 1:10:15
  gonna realize how naive you were how and how
• 1:10:18
  somebody could betray you like that and you
• 1:10:21
  know stab you in the back it's almost like they cheated on you yeah granted
• 1:10:25
  you didn't have a relationship but some people are completely emotionally wrapped
• 1:10:29
  up in this that just and you're gonna go through grief just like if it was a
• 1:10:33
  regular breakup wow you might get angry you're gonna feel humiliated You're
• 1:10:38
  going to feel deep levels of sadness.
• 1:10:40
  It's normal, but you've got to process through it. So you're breaking up with
• 1:10:44
  a fake online person that stole your money.
• 1:10:48
  That actually is going to make it worse. It does. And what you've got to do
• 1:10:53
  is you've got to journal.
• 1:10:54
  You might want to go to EMDR, have some therapy, go to coaching.
• 1:10:59
  Focus on you and healing you because you basically have what's called betrayal trauma. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:11:07
  Obviously, you do need help a lot. You do.
• 1:11:10
  And it's people like that. You ignored a bunch of red flags.
• 1:11:14
  If you're honest with yourself, you got red flags.
• 1:11:16
  First of all, if they're out of the country, that's a red flag. Yeah.
• 1:11:19
  Why do you want to date somebody that's out of the country? Yeah.
• 1:11:22
  Spend your time on you. If you're spending all your time online.
• 1:11:26
  You know, it's just not good. That's not good.
• 1:11:29
  People need to stay offline, I think. I think the goal is not to never trust
• 1:11:33
  again. And I think, I know when I came out of my divorce, I had some issues
• 1:11:37
  and I didn't really want to trust people.
• 1:11:39
  But I think you got to be smart. Yeah. About trusting.
• 1:11:43
  That's really what it is. Yeah. And then if you're getting scammed,
• 1:11:48
  you know, it doesn't make you weak.
• 1:11:50
  It means you're, you believe in love.
• 1:11:52
  And that's a beautiful thing, you know. But people use that.
• 1:11:56
  They're using your hope against you. Yeah, that's it.
• 1:12:01
  You know, that's what they do. Yeah. But from this podcast forward,
• 1:12:06
  I hope you never get scammed.
• 1:12:07
  And if you did get scammed, I hope you never get scammed again.
• 1:12:10
  Hopefully you can send this podcast to your friend. Yes.
• 1:12:13
  You'll be wiser. And realize so many people get scammed. It doesn't make you
• 1:12:17
  dumb. No. It just makes you loving. And it means you have a big heart.
• 1:12:22
  And the sad thing is, is a lot of people change and harden after that.
• 1:12:26
  But I hope you don't. I hope you still love. And I hope you still are loving.
• 1:12:30
  I just hope you protect yourself and put up boundaries.
• 1:12:33
  Because there's so many red flags when there's scammers out there that...
• 1:12:38
  You'll know that they're scamming you. And the best way to protect yourself
• 1:12:42
  is just to end it quickly and not get too wrapped up in it. Yeah.
• 1:12:46
  So I hope this helped everyone today as far as getting scammed and what to do
• 1:12:50
  if you do get scammed. I hope it never happens to you.
• 1:12:54
  I think the dating apps are becoming more and more scammers.
• 1:12:57
  So I think the good thing that's going to come out of that is that people are
• 1:13:01
  going to go back into meeting people face to face.
• 1:13:04
  Yeah, people are going to realize that this is it. And let's change in a new
• 1:13:08
  way. You know what I mean?
• 1:13:10
  Yep. So hopefully. Hopefully this will change and people will grow into new ways of dating. Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:19
  And get off the computer so much because it's just, it's not a healthy way to go. No.
• 1:13:24
  All right. Well, this is Diva Mia. I hope you have a wonderful week.
• 1:13:28
  This is Diva Kat. We'll talk to you soon. Ciao, ciao.
• 1:13:33
  Thanks for tuning in. Like, subscribe, and drop a comment.
• 1:13:37
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• 1:13:42
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• 1:14:03
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• 1:14:06
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• 1:14:08
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• 1:14:09
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• 1:14:11
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• 1:14:13
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• 1:14:15
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• 1:14:16
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• 1:14:18
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• 1:14:20
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• 1:14:22
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• 1:14:23
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• 1:14:25
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