Latest / A Little Bit Richer / Balancing Babies & Budgets - The Cost of Parenthood
Transcript
- 0:02Kia: Hey, this is Kia. Is it ever a right time
- 0:05Kia: to have a baby? Navigating the cost of parenthood can be
- 0:08Kia: daunting. So we've got an expert here today to help
- 0:11Kia: us balance work and home life. Whether you are a
- 0:14Kia: new parent or expecting the world of parenting can feel
- 0:16Kia: like a foreign one. Welcome to another episode of A
- 0:19Kia: Little Bit Richer, brought to you by my friends at
- 0:21Kia: Legal & General. Charlotte Jessop from the Looking After Your Pennies
- 0:24Kia: platform is here to help us navigate financial planning when
- 0:27Kia: it comes to parenthood. Charlotte is a financial educator, coach, writer,
- 0:32Kia: and vlogger. Welcome, Charlotte.
- 0:36Charlotte Jessop: Hello.
- 0:37Kia: So we're talking about the topic of parenthood and becoming
- 0:41Kia: a parent is an incredible experience with all the joy
- 0:45Kia: and love that it brings. And as a former bundle
- 0:47Kia: of joy I should know that all too well, but
- 0:50Kia: it is a very big decision. So I want to
- 0:53Kia: ask you, is there ever a right time to have a
- 0:55Kia: baby? And what advice do you have for people considering
- 0:58Kia: starting or growing their family?
- 1:01Charlotte Jessop: This is a great question. Honestly, from my own personal
- 1:06Charlotte Jessop: experience there's not a right time. I made the decision
- 1:11Charlotte Jessop: to be a parent purely from an emotional standpoint rather
- 1:15Charlotte Jessop: than a financial one. I got married when I was
- 1:19Charlotte Jessop: 26 and I knew that I wanted to start a
- 1:22Charlotte Jessop: family pretty much straight away, and that was what I
- 1:26Charlotte Jessop: did. A year later, I had my first daughter and
- 1:30Charlotte Jessop: then I had another one two years after that. And
- 1:34Charlotte Jessop: my finances at that time, I had not long bought
- 1:36Charlotte Jessop: a house before that. I just finished paying for a wedding
- 1:41Charlotte Jessop: and my finances probably weren't rosy. When I sit down
- 1:46Charlotte Jessop: and look at the money I have now, I sit down and think, "
- 1:48Charlotte Jessop: Oh, it'd probably be a lot easier now." But I
- 1:52Charlotte Jessop: think the reality is that if you sit there and
- 1:56Charlotte Jessop: you try and rationalise every decision you're going to make,
- 2:00Charlotte Jessop: there's never a right time because if it's not the
- 2:03Charlotte Jessop: finances that are stopping you, it's the things that you enjoy.
- 2:05Charlotte Jessop: It's like, " Oh, I want to travel." Or " I want
- 2:07Charlotte Jessop: to buy a house." So there want to always be something that stands
- 2:12Charlotte Jessop: in your way of making that decision to be a
- 2:14Charlotte Jessop: parent. Try not to wait for perfection. You just got
- 2:18Charlotte Jessop: to take a little bit of a leap and figure
- 2:20Charlotte Jessop: the rest out on the way.
- 2:22Kia: That's really comforting to hear because knowing that there is
- 2:25Kia: no right time just gives you that confidence to say, "
- 2:27Kia: Whenever you feel like you want to do it, just
- 2:29Kia: do it." We've spoken about it before on a podcast
- 2:32Kia: about the legal and general research that revealed some key
- 2:35Kia: milestones. Like parenthood is being delayed and the average age
- 2:40Kia: of having a baby is later than it ever has
- 2:42Kia: been at 32 years old. So I want to ask
- 2:45Kia: you, why do you think that is?
- 2:47Charlotte Jessop: Do you think there are some personal development that happens
- 2:50Charlotte Jessop: at some point around when you turn 30? There may
- 2:53Charlotte Jessop: be changes in your perspective on life and family and
- 2:57Charlotte Jessop: that sort of thing. But also there are some things
- 3:00Charlotte Jessop: that we've already touched on, things like career. I was
- 3:03Charlotte Jessop: fortunate that I entered a career that allowed me to
- 3:07Charlotte Jessop: progress fairly quickly. And I felt that was in a
- 3:11Charlotte Jessop: strong place. That isn't the same for everybody. It can
- 3:15Charlotte Jessop: take a few years to find a career that's right
- 3:18Charlotte Jessop: for you. Education, more people are going to university, doing
- 3:22Charlotte Jessop: postgraduate study as well. So all of those things make
- 3:26Charlotte Jessop: a difference. And also when we look at finances, it's
- 3:29Charlotte Jessop: been a rough few years.
- 3:30Kia: It's been rough. It's been rough.
- 3:32Charlotte Jessop: We look at the likes of COVID. We've also got
- 3:34Charlotte Jessop: things like the cost of living crisis and this has
- 3:37Charlotte Jessop: made things more expensive and people I think are potentially
- 3:40Charlotte Jessop: waiting for those things to maybe settle down. House prices
- 3:44Charlotte Jessop: are huge now. So it makes sense for people to
- 3:47Charlotte Jessop: want to feel a little bit more secure in their
- 3:50Charlotte Jessop: financial situation, but also these personal development milestones that I
- 3:56Charlotte Jessop: think as women we have more freedoms. We were able
- 3:59Charlotte Jessop: to make bigger and better strides in our careers than
- 4:03Charlotte Jessop: my parents, than their parents were. So actually there's a
- 4:06Charlotte Jessop: real sense of wanting to take advantage of that. So yeah, I think
- 4:10Charlotte Jessop: there's a whole host of reasons. And I completely understand
- 4:15Charlotte Jessop: why people would want to delay that.
- 4:17Kia: There is such a big shift between generations that if
- 4:20Kia: you just take my parents versus me. So my parents
- 4:23Kia: had me at 24. I'm 26, and I cannot even
- 4:27Kia: fathom having a child right now because where I am in my career
- 4:32Kia: and things I want to achieve. So yeah, I think
- 4:34Kia: it's a different world that we're living in. Absolutely. So
- 4:37Kia: let's talk about finances then. Our favorite topic to talk
- 4:41Kia: about. So as a parent yourself, can you talk us
- 4:44Kia: through some of the financial impacts of having a baby?
- 4:49Kia: So more so the short- term costs when they're younger,
- 4:53Kia: what are some of the costs that we can expect when
- 4:55Kia: you have a baby?
- 4:56Charlotte Jessop: So I think this is what most people focus on.
- 4:58Charlotte Jessop: You're like, " I'm having a baby." And you kind of
- 5:02Charlotte Jessop: get very caught up in this bit. And actually it's
- 5:05Charlotte Jessop: kind of fleeting. So they are going to need some clothes
- 5:09Charlotte Jessop: and they are going to rapidly grow out of those
- 5:11Charlotte Jessop: clothes as well. So I always urge people to go
- 5:14Charlotte Jessop: second hand for things particularly like those newborn clothes because
- 5:20Charlotte Jessop: it could be a week and they're done.
- 5:22Kia: A week?
- 5:23Charlotte Jessop: So clothes is obviously a main one, but lots of
- 5:26Charlotte Jessop: people buy that for you, and it's their number one thing
- 5:28Charlotte Jessop: to buy. You need things like car seats, and that's
- 5:30Charlotte Jessop: probably one of the few costs that you can't really
- 5:33Charlotte Jessop: avoid because recommended that you buy those sorts of things
- 5:36Charlotte Jessop: brand new so that you know they haven't been in
- 5:39Charlotte Jessop: accidents and stuff like that. Then you have to get
- 5:41Charlotte Jessop: this kid out and about. You might want some sort
- 5:44Charlotte Jessop: of push chair or I was quite a fan of
- 5:48Charlotte Jessop: baby wrapping. And then you have things like feeding. So
- 5:52Charlotte Jessop: depending on how you choose to feed your child, you
- 5:54Charlotte Jessop: might have costs involved there. And then there's things like
- 5:57Charlotte Jessop: nappies and all of these sorts of things. And whether
- 6:01Charlotte Jessop: you choose to go down a kind of disposable nappy
- 6:03Charlotte Jessop: route or a reusable nappy route, both of those things
- 6:06Charlotte Jessop: involve costs. On top of that, you're then going to want
- 6:09Charlotte Jessop: to do stuff with your kid. And there's always a
- 6:12Charlotte Jessop: societal pressure to get your kids out and about and
- 6:16Charlotte Jessop: learning baby sign language or baby yoga. These are all
- 6:19Charlotte Jessop: things that I did with my children. I look at
- 6:21Charlotte Jessop: it now and I'm like, " Why on earth did they
- 6:23Charlotte Jessop: think they could do yoga when they were three months old?"
- 6:26Charlotte Jessop: But a lot of this is about socialising and that's
- 6:28Charlotte Jessop: hugely important as a new parent to just get out
- 6:31Charlotte Jessop: and meet other mums and that sort of thing. So
- 6:33Charlotte Jessop: those are costs as well. And as they get older,
- 6:35Charlotte Jessop: you then enter into things like the school years and
- 6:38Charlotte Jessop: nursery and that sort of thing. And then there's I
- 6:40Charlotte Jessop: think a significant proportion of the costs of having a
- 6:44Charlotte Jessop: child is around childcare. So even if you take six
- 6:48Charlotte Jessop: months a year off after you've had a child, you
- 6:51Charlotte Jessop: are going to at some point pay out for childcare.
- 6:54Charlotte Jessop: And there are ways that you can negate this or
- 6:56Charlotte Jessop: reduce this in some way, but that is a significant cost
- 7:00Charlotte Jessop: that I think is a huge factor in why people are
- 7:02Charlotte Jessop: choosing to delay parenthood. When you send them off to
- 7:06Charlotte Jessop: school, I look at my kids now, I basically need
- 7:09Charlotte Jessop: to just redirect my salary to the school's bank account
- 7:12Charlotte Jessop: because it's Christmas Jumper Day, it's anti- bullying week and
- 7:16Charlotte Jessop: they got to wear yellow socks.
- 7:18Kia: I used to love that school though. Mum give me
- 7:20Kia: a pant. Guys, I love it.
- 7:21Charlotte Jessop: So yeah, there's always a new thing. They've had a
- 7:24Charlotte Jessop: school photo and you couldn't possibly not get that photo-
- 7:27Kia: Of course.
- 7:27Charlotte Jessop: ... because they're not smiling. So you still have to
- 7:30Charlotte Jessop: pay for all of those things. And it's always something.
- 7:33Charlotte Jessop: There's a school trip. My eldest daughter has recently signed
- 7:37Charlotte Jessop: up to rock band lessons.
- 7:40Kia: Wow.
- 7:41Charlotte Jessop: So that's where my salary is probably going.
- 7:42Kia: Is being directed. Wow.
- 7:44Charlotte Jessop: So if she's not a rock star in the next 20 years-
- 7:46Kia: I want to see her on the charts. She has to
- 7:49Kia: be on the charts.
- 7:50Charlotte Jessop: Yep. Yep, that's it.
- 7:52Kia: Wow. The costs really do add up, but I don't
- 7:54Kia: think that should be a reason to not have kids.
- 7:57Kia: It's just being aware. You'd rather know than go into
- 8:01Kia: something and have no idea. So I think that's all
- 8:03Kia: we're trying to do. Just bring awareness to it, but
- 8:04Kia: don't let that be a reason to not pursue-
- 8:07Charlotte Jessop: Absolutely.
- 8:07Kia: ... the joy that is parenthood. So what are some
- 8:10Kia: of the considerations longer term that people should be thinking about?
- 8:14Charlotte Jessop: What we need to maybe talk about here is the
- 8:18Charlotte Jessop: things that are not so obvious. And this is things
- 8:21Charlotte Jessop: like the costs of being on maternity leave. That was a
- 8:24Charlotte Jessop: reduction for me, quite a significant reduction in my salary
- 8:28Charlotte Jessop: to spend with my children in those early weeks and
- 8:31Charlotte Jessop: months, but then that also then impacts longer term as
- 8:36Charlotte Jessop: well. So it's at that point where women become mothers
- 8:41Charlotte Jessop: that we start seeing bigger gaps in things like gender
- 8:44Charlotte Jessop: pay gap, we start seeing pension gaps, savings gaps. It's
- 8:48Charlotte Jessop: that point. Basically we don't see a huge difference in
- 8:52Charlotte Jessop: these things until we get to that point where women
- 8:55Charlotte Jessop: start having babies and that's when we start seeing the
- 8:58Charlotte Jessop: divide between the two. So we need to be considering
- 9:03Charlotte Jessop: the implications of this and putting things in place to
- 9:07Charlotte Jessop: make sure that we are offsetting or working to ensure
- 9:13Charlotte Jessop: that there's not a longer- term damage on those things.
- 9:16Charlotte Jessop: And that can be hard. I definitely wasn't 26 years
- 9:21Charlotte Jessop: old and expected my first child going, " We really must
- 9:25Charlotte Jessop: talk about the pension gap." That wasn't something that I
- 9:28Charlotte Jessop: was thinking about, but being able to do this and
- 9:31Charlotte Jessop: raise awareness of these things means that maybe we can
- 9:33Charlotte Jessop: bring to light some of these conversations and people can
- 9:37Charlotte Jessop: start making changes towards their finances. So you can do
- 9:40Charlotte Jessop: things like pay into your pension while you're on maternity
- 9:43Charlotte Jessop: leave, but it doesn't necessarily end at mat leave. It
- 9:46Charlotte Jessop: can be like what happens in terms of who's going
- 9:49Charlotte Jessop: to look after the children? Is it going to be
- 9:51Charlotte Jessop: that one parent goes part- time or quits work entirely?
- 9:55Charlotte Jessop: And you then go down to a single income household.
- 9:58Charlotte Jessop: What are the costs of that? But also what are
- 10:00Charlotte Jessop: the risks of that? Because if you're a single income
- 10:04Charlotte Jessop: household, then your finances are a lot more precarious than
- 10:09Charlotte Jessop: a double income household. And some of these conversations need
- 10:12Charlotte Jessop: to be had, particularly if you've got a partner that
- 10:15Charlotte Jessop: you're going on this journey with, how do you build
- 10:18Charlotte Jessop: back in that security and how do you build back in
- 10:20Charlotte Jessop: that equity in that financial partnership? So those costs are
- 10:24Charlotte Jessop: not easy to see, but they are still there, and
- 10:28Charlotte Jessop: I think we're hearing more and more about them now.
- 10:33Charlotte Jessop: I guess the other thing to say on this is
- 10:34Charlotte Jessop: it's not all financial. There are either my mental workload
- 10:39Charlotte Jessop: has increased significantly since having children. I need a PA
- 10:45Charlotte Jessop: to manage the emails from my kids' school because there's
- 10:47Charlotte Jessop: about 30 a day. But that creates a toll and
- 10:52Charlotte Jessop: it might be that has an impact on some of
- 10:54Charlotte Jessop: the other things that I'm able to do, whether it's
- 10:57Charlotte Jessop: a hobby or whether it's paid work because those sorts
- 11:00Charlotte Jessop: of things take up time.
- 11:03Kia: I agree. I think it's good that we're having these
- 11:05Kia: conversations because as women we need to be aware and
- 11:08Kia: plan for that. So Charlotte, can you give any tips
- 11:11Kia: for blending parenthood and your career?
- 11:14Charlotte Jessop: Yes. This is an interesting one, isn't it? Because for
- 11:17Charlotte Jessop: me, on a personal level I'm hugely career driven and
- 11:21Charlotte Jessop: ambitious, but also I love being a parent. So I
- 11:24Charlotte Jessop: have to find a way to make both of these
- 11:27Charlotte Jessop: things work for me. And it's been a journey and
- 11:31Charlotte Jessop: it hasn't always been easy. And there's definitely been moments
- 11:33Charlotte Jessop: where I've had to choose one over the other. And
- 11:36Charlotte Jessop: there's always a sense of guilt and that sort of
- 11:38Charlotte Jessop: thing about it. I would say lean on your village.
- 11:42Charlotte Jessop: And we talked about those baby classes where you're doing
- 11:45Charlotte Jessop: baby sign language, it all feels pointless, well, those people
- 11:48Charlotte Jessop: turned into my village. I took my oldest daughter to baby
- 11:53Charlotte Jessop: sign language class and the woman that sat next to
- 11:57Charlotte Jessop: me is now one of my best friends. Her son
- 12:00Charlotte Jessop: goes to school with my daughter. She lives around the
- 12:03Charlotte Jessop: corner from me and she will be like, " Can I
- 12:07Charlotte Jessop: drop my kids off at your house and can you
- 12:08Charlotte Jessop: take them to school for me today?" And I'll be like, "
- 12:10Charlotte Jessop: Yeah, no problem. I'm going that way anyway." And then
- 12:12Charlotte Jessop: the next day I'll be like, " Do you mind picking
- 12:15Charlotte Jessop: up my kids because I'm a bit late coming back
- 12:17Charlotte Jessop: from work?" And these people make the whole thing work.
- 12:20Charlotte Jessop: And this can be friends, this can be family. And
- 12:23Charlotte Jessop: having that village, having that group of people around you
- 12:27Charlotte Jessop: that you can call upon really does make a huge
- 12:31Charlotte Jessop: difference to the whole experience of having kids. I think
- 12:35Charlotte Jessop: the other thing to think about is just to think
- 12:37Charlotte Jessop: creatively about your options. And we mentioned about the cost
- 12:41Charlotte Jessop: of childcare, and this is huge. And actually my ex-
- 12:46Charlotte Jessop: husband and I, when we had little kids, we made
- 12:49Charlotte Jessop: the decision to both work part- time rather than pay
- 12:53Charlotte Jessop: for childcare. Not only did our kids have a parent
- 12:56Charlotte Jessop: with them at all times, but also by working part-
- 13:00Charlotte Jessop: time we were paying less tax due to things like
- 13:02Charlotte Jessop: tax allowances, than if one of us had worked full-
- 13:06Charlotte Jessop: time. And it's going to be different for every parent.
- 13:11Charlotte Jessop: But yeah try not to just be like, " Best childcare
- 13:13Charlotte Jessop: or nothing." There might be another thing.
- 13:16Kia: There are great ways that you can kind of make things work which is good.
- 13:18Charlotte Jessop: Absolutely.
- 13:18Kia: It's good to hear. Before we wrap up this episode,
- 13:21Kia: I want to ask you, what are your top three
- 13:24Kia: tips if you'd like to have a child in the future?
- 13:28Charlotte Jessop: So first one, don't go overboard on the baby stuffs
- 13:32Charlotte Jessop: because they can be really cheap and they don't need
- 13:36Charlotte Jessop: loads of things. The thing is, you love these kids
- 13:38Charlotte Jessop: when you wanted to have all the best stuff, but
- 13:40Charlotte Jessop: ultimately they don't need fancy trainers that cost you 200
- 13:44Charlotte Jessop: quid. Particularly when they're seven years old they don't know.
- 13:48Charlotte Jessop: So you could just get them cheap ones and they
- 13:50Charlotte Jessop: can run through muddy puddles and live their best lives
- 13:52Charlotte Jessop: like that. So don't go overboard on the baby stuff
- 13:55Charlotte Jessop: and just kind of keep those costs in check. As
- 13:58Charlotte Jessop: exciting as it is don't. The next one, and this
- 14:01Charlotte Jessop: might be my favorite tip, is to choose your career
- 14:05Charlotte Jessop: wisely. And I say that I'm not turning people away
- 14:09Charlotte Jessop: from following their career dreams, but if you can make
- 14:13Charlotte Jessop: choices about the job that you're in prior to entering
- 14:17Charlotte Jessop: the journey of parenthood it can make or break the experience.
- 14:23Charlotte Jessop: So I'm talking about things like does the company you're
- 14:25Charlotte Jessop: working for, what is their mat leave like? That will
- 14:28Charlotte Jessop: make a difference to the amount of money you have
- 14:29Charlotte Jessop: in those early days. Things like what are the pensions
- 14:33Charlotte Jessop: like in that job? Are you getting a good pension
- 14:36Charlotte Jessop: out of that job? And things like remote working, all
- 14:39Charlotte Jessop: of this is going to impact on your experience not
- 14:43Charlotte Jessop: only during the parenting years but onwards. And I think
- 14:46Charlotte Jessop: if you can be in the right place with your
- 14:49Charlotte Jessop: career and you are in a job that you love and
- 14:53Charlotte Jessop: has flexibility, it can literally be a game changer for
- 14:56Charlotte Jessop: the whole experience. And then the last one is work
- 15:00Charlotte Jessop: on your money stuff before you have a kid. So
- 15:03Charlotte Jessop: this can mean doing things like increasing your pension's contributions.
- 15:07Charlotte Jessop: It can be things like paying off debt. It can
- 15:10Charlotte Jessop: be things like overpaying your mortgage. And the benefit of
- 15:14Charlotte Jessop: this is twofold. Not only do you get the benefits
- 15:17Charlotte Jessop: of increased pension and less mortgage and stuff like that,
- 15:20Charlotte Jessop: but you also get used to having less money. So
- 15:24Charlotte Jessop: when you're making those extra contributions you get all of
- 15:26Charlotte Jessop: those perks and then when baby comes along and you
- 15:29Charlotte Jessop: start your family, you can stop doing those things and
- 15:32Charlotte Jessop: offset that money towards starting your family, and you'll be
- 15:37Charlotte Jessop: in a stronger place for it and you won't miss
- 15:39Charlotte Jessop: the cash when baby comes along because it was already
- 15:42Charlotte Jessop: being spent-
- 15:42Kia: It was already gone. Reallocated.
- 15:42Charlotte Jessop: ... on something. Yeah. So I think if you can
- 15:45Charlotte Jessop: do that, and it's always going to be a fine
- 15:47Charlotte Jessop: balance. When do we stop doing all that money stuff
- 15:50Charlotte Jessop: and when do we start having a kid? But essentially
- 15:53Charlotte Jessop: if there's something you want to do you've got to
- 15:55Charlotte Jessop: take the plunge eventually.
- 15:56Kia: You have to take the plunge if you want to achieve it.
- 15:58Kia: Yep. Charlotte, thank you so much. This has been such
- 16:01Kia: an insightful episode, especially as me who doesn't have kids
- 16:04Kia: yet, but wants kids in the future. This has been
- 16:07Kia: a reassuring and informative episode. So thank you so much
- 16:10Kia: for coming onto the podcast.
- 16:11Charlotte Jessop: Thank you.
- 16:15Kia: Thanks Charlotte. You've given us a lot to think about.
- 16:17Kia: I'd love it if you could review the podcast, spread
- 16:20Kia: the word, and help others get a little bit richer
- 16:22Kia: too. Keep up with the show on TikTok and Instagram at Legal &
- 16:25Kia: General. Thank you for listening. See you soon.