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Stress Management to beat burnout · Divas That Care Network

• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Powering Through Life on the Deepest at Care Network.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Teresa Sims, and I'm a transformational life coach, an award-winning author, and a multiple number one bestselling co-author.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Each week on Powering Through Life, my guests and I will discuss a special topic that is close to their heart.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Together, we will explore the challenges they have faced in life and learn what strategies and tools they have used to power through their lives.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome to Powering Through Life.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have a really interesting guest and her name is Erica Eller.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Erica is a wife, mom, functional nutritionist and stress expert, entrepreneur and career woman with 20 plus years of business experience.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: After suffering from hormone imbalance, weight gain and burnout, Erica has found that stress management is key.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: That is incredible and we all need more stress management for sure.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: So today's topic with Erica is stress management to beat burnout.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: So Erica, welcome to Powering Through Life.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you, Teresa, for having me.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am honored to be with you today.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm so glad we got to do this because I know I've been a guest on your show and I learned a lot from you.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: So that was the main reason for me wanting to share you with my listeners because I think you have support.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So much to offer, so much to give, and we can all learn from you, for sure.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you so much.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: The feeling is definitely mutual.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I absolutely loved our conversation on my podcast, and I'm looking forward to this.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, fantastic.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just jump right into it.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So tell us, Erica, what's considered burnout?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: What's the definition today?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this is interesting because I think what we're hearing a lot of when people talk about burnout is more or less a sense of boredom or just kind of a lethargy towards whatever it is that you're not feeling as excited about.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so we call it burnout because we don't have that excitement anymore.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: But that's actually not what burnout is considered.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Burnout is actually a physical response within your body that occurs when you are under chronic stress.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: You've basically placed these demands on your body.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: You've been in a fight-or-flight place for an extended amount of time, and because of that, your body is shunting resources from its natural tendencies, like towards digestion, towards immune function, towards food, hormone balance and synthesis and cognitive function and instead it's focused on keeping you alive because it feels like you're in a constant threat situation you are in a fight-or-flight place and so when all of your resources all of the nutrients and the vitamins and your your body's processes is the overall optimization of what is happening in your body.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so basically symptoms start to become compromised.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: You start getting sick more.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: You start noticing that you are very tired.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: You start noticing maybe some weight gain.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's weight loss.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Your cognitive function is not where it was before.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: You have a lot of foggy thinking, almost ADD-type tendencies.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And more importantly, you are just not at your best, and you cannot be in a place where you are doing all of the things that you are responsible for well.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: So you might be doing them, but you know that there's definitely life that is not behind that.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: So that's actually what a real burnout is, where it's really hard to manage your day-to-day tasks because you do not have the physical strength or ability to do it instead of what I think is being talked about more where it's almost a boredom or just kind of a lack of excitement or zeal.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if you're in that place, where it's much more mental than it is physical, it can lend to a physical burnout as well.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I would agree totally.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think when we look at it, it's mind, body, soul, right?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And one totally affects the other, even though we're not aware of it, it does.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And in a lot of cases, we're not even aware that we're experiencing that burnout.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: intense type of burnout in a lot of cases, right?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: We just think, oh, gosh, we're tired.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're working too much.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're running around too much.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I just need some rest.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: But your body, everything is screaming at you, and we're just not paying attention in a lot of cases.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that what you're talking about, you know, paying attention, that becomes key.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's so critical that we become aware of ourselves our body's response and what it's telling us.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And when I do corporate training to help businesses function at a higher level because they're incorporating wellness and stress management into their business, and I have this questionnaire that I give all of the employees to assess what their current stress load is, And it is incredible because a lot of people, that is their eye-opening experience to how much stress they do have.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because things that you don't think about as far as like, you know, are you on a diet?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, are you focused on what you're eating for a specific reason of weight loss?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: What are your blood pressure numbers at?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: What are your blood sugar numbers at?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is your cholesterol high?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Those things are just small ways that our body is telling us that we are in a stress response.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, your sleep patterns.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: How do you feel after you eat certain things?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: All of those things are your body's way of saying that it's under stress.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know the people in the corporate offices, there's so much more pressures put on each individual these days to do more than just their own job.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh,
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: yeah.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's so stressful.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And they're trying to balance and they're trying to keep their income and they're trying to balance the home with the work.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many more stressors that are placed upon us.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: However, it's If we pay attention, like you say, awareness of what's going on in our body, and then is it possible for the individual, once they're aware of what's happening and how it's affecting them, to selectively choose how they're going to allow the stressors to affect them?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Something that I say frequently is that stress is a choice.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people will push back on that because, of course, there are circumstances in our lives that we have no control over, right?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: We can't control if sickness comes.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: We can't control the death of a loved one.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: We can't control when there's abuse or something traumatic like that, we can't control that.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: However, we can control how we respond to it.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not always, you know, I don't want to be Pollyanna here and say, you know, just put on a smile and get through it because it's not that, but it's having faith and trusting that everything will work out even when it doesn't make sense and to focus on how you can help your body in that moment.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that you definitely can impact the way stress is happening and how you can respond and how it's going to affect certain areas.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes that is taking a look at what are the areas that are creating the most stress within your lifestyle?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And what are some actual sustainable ways to get rid of that?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I would totally agree with that.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a choice as to how you're going to allow that stressor to affect you.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And having some great tools in your back pocket to be able to balance everything and to...
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: face what's happening, to choose the right path for you to be able to say, okay, this is going on, but I am not going to allow it to, or I'm not going to internalize it so that it affects me negatively in my body.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to, okay, this is what I have to face, this is what I'm going to do, this is an action step I'm going to take, and let's put a plan in place as to how we can motor through it.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Would you agree?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really interesting, Teresa, because so much of the stress that we have in this age, this digital age, is from incoming information and from just the mental work that we're doing.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: A stress response is necessary, and it's so...
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: amazing that we were created to have this stress response to keep us safe, you know, in times of danger, in times of famine.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't have that anymore.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have, you know, wild animals chasing us.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have, you know, these moments of, you know, feast and famine and plagues, you know, that type of thing.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: But what we have is just a lot of of internalization, as you put it, where we are just ruminating on things from the past.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're worrying about the future and we are not living in the present and being joyful for what we have right now and thinking, what is the next best step for me today?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do right now in my place to truly thrive?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, we're just in this place of regret and of worry.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: And And the media doesn't help that situation at all.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know we do need news.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: However, if it was the actual facts of the news, it wouldn't be so bad.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: But in a lot of cases, it's so sensationalized.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: We lose track of what the actual story is.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And in my case, coming from the background I came from, I don't watch a lot of news.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't pay attention to a lot of news.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: I know what's going on.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I choose not to allow the media to affect my life.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that is so great.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: That is one of my top tips for anybody.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because I noticed that I have these women that are in this heightened state of fight or flight chronically.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so many of them are sick.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: So hyper-focused on the news and that is what they're worried about.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, what is the current state of our nation?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: What is the current state of the world?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: The environment is failing us and it is all doom and gloom.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And when you are sitting in that So much of your day, it's really, really hard for your body to think, okay, I'm in a really good place, and now it's time to focus on my reproductive health.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to focus on hormone synthesis and making sure that this is all balanced, and it's really time to utilize nutrients in the best way.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not happening.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And because of our environment, and environment is a huge stressor, Whether it's news or whether it's toxins that you're taking in, it plays a big role and it impacts you and your ability to be who you were created to be.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: I would totally agree with that.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I would rather live my life and choose my path and choose how I allow things to come into my world and how I affect people, you know, in my day-to-day life, rather than having someone tell me how I need to behave, how I need to act, how I need to react, because it's going to destroy us in the long run.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it can physically and emotionally destroy us.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not healthy.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're teaching our next generation as well.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: I read a recent research paper about the incidence of depression and anxiety for our millennial generation has basically gone through the roof.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: They have estimated that the numbers have more than doubled as far as who's getting diagnosed, and they are attributing it to the digital age and the fact that we are always connected And the fact that we don't take time to rest and that we just basically have an onslaught of information that is incoming all the time.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: And in a lot of cases, we're doing it to ourselves.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Would you agree?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: We're choosing to have that thing turned on.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're choosing to watch that latest news.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: news report.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're choosing to, you know, but we're missing the boat here.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: We need to choose to look after ourselves.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I actually, there is a woman that I follow on social media and she, you know, kind of came back on today, in fact, and said, you know, in case you were wondering what happened to me, I took a two months off of social media to just focus on what was important to me, and that was my health, and that was my family.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think why people have such a hard time actually taking time to disconnect, you know, even for a day, is we have this newest, you know, thing that's considered, it's called FOMO, you know, we just we have a fear of missing out.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: We think if we are just not always connected and scrolling and looking at what is happening, then we are missing out on something.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact of the matter is we're not missing anything.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: We are missing out on connecting with the people that are in front of us and we are missing out on optimized health because we're not taking time to rest and we're not sleeping and We're affecting melatonin levels because of these blue lights and our cortisol levels are through the roof.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we won't even talk about how sometimes just scrolling, it creates a reaction within us because we are either looking at something from a lens of discouragement because we aren't what we are seeing or we perceive that we aren't what we are seeing, that someone else is portraying who they are.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: We come at it from a scarcity mindset and just really wishing that we had what others are saying that they have.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: We spend so much time being in a place of want and desire, again, that we are missing what we have right in front of us.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I would totally agree with that.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're so busy in a lot of cases being busy and having, you know, the wants, the needs, having to have the latest and greatest.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're forgetting what's important.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if we went back to maybe our core values a little bit more, that might help us you know, settle back down into a lifestyle that could actually help us avoid burnout.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, absolutely.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, part of it is, like you said, getting back to the core values.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And what's a priority?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because it all can't be a priority all at once, right?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we can only focus on one thing at a time.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so what are...
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: a strategy that I have for my clients is what are your top three priorities?
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, life has a lot more categories than three that we can focus on.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: We can focus on finance.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: We can focus on our health.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: We can focus on our business.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: We can focus on our spirituality.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: We can focus on relationships.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: But we can't do it all at the same time.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: No, and one actually snowballs and affects the other.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: because you can't take one and separate it completely from who we are or from the other aspects.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can't take your health and separate it from relationships because your relationships affect your health and vice versa.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to find some really good tools and action steps that we can implement to help us focus on what's important and get back to what's important in our lives.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that way we can help our health Our work life, our family life, every aspect of who we are.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said, they do all affect each other.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so, for example, my top three priorities in this order are God, health, family.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: I have to take the time to be with God every single day and to just remember what I was created for and just to really give thanks and to have that gratitude for all that He has given me.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: And in that, I have this one vessel that I have been given to live this life well.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm not taking care of it, then I don't have what it takes to be the wife and the mom for my family.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm doing those three things right, then my business follows suit.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Then I have what I need to pursue more clients and to help them in the best way and to get my message out there in the way that I want to.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: It snowballs.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: That turns into the relationships that I have and building upon those because I'm just coming from this place of gratitude instead of a place of lack and despair.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's so important is to You know, I think it's important to just quiet your mind, quiet your being, your body, whatever that may be, whether it be through meditation or prayer or however you want to phrase it, but to find out what your main three priorities are and really focus in on those because one affects the other.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I like how you said God, health, and family because you acknowledge the fact that there is a higher being that we owe our existence to, if you want to put it that way.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Your health is so important because if you don't have your health, you can't be there for your family.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be there for your clients.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be there for your spouse.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And family is key too because it's all about who energizes you And gives you meaning, gives you purpose, gives you love, laugh, and laughter and happiness.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, you know, I think that's really important.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: So what are some action steps that we could take to help us avoid burnout in our life and in our businesses?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so, you know, I think we touched on one where priorities are key.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding what your priorities are and, like I said...
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: We can't focus on everything.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so getting rid of this balance mentality.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, Teresa, it drives me crazy when people are talking about balance because balance is under the assumption that all things are equal.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just not the case.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: I am a wife, I am a mom, and I am a business owner.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I am...
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: I am all things at the same time, but I can't focus on all things at the same time.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I honestly was thinking when you said that, I was the same, a wife, a mom, and a business owner, or an employee, or however you want to phrase it at that point in time when I was raising my children.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: But the one priority I've noticed that I forgot in that whole scenario was me.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: I totally forgot that aspect.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: While, you know, a lot of the content that I created was very clinical, very, you know, hey, this is what's happening within your body.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this is where you're deficient because of stress.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is, you know, how you can help these systems.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I realized I wanted it to be more of a vulnerable conversation because so many women didn't realize that they weren't the only ones struggling with it.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so with my podcast, it was all about having conversations and women, you know, And men, actually, sharing about how stress impacted them on some level and what it felt like and how did they make a change to come out of it and what are some of the struggles that they have currently.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think getting rid of this balance mentality is probably the biggest thing that we can do to avoid burnout and to understand that we have to have priorities and we have to be clear on those priorities because if you don't have clarity, that's when the anxiety and the overwhelm comes into place.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then from there, that's when you just start spinning out of control because you don't know where you're focused.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: You are really being reactive in your day-to-day living rather than intentional.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, now would you consider intentional as proactive or just as intentional?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, yeah, intentional, yeah, it's definitely proactive, I would say.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And going about life with, not with a plan, but with a purpose.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: With a purpose, with intention, yeah.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, so you know where you're focused.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, you know, like, I am a wife, a mom, and a business owner all at once.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: However, I cannot be focused on all of those things at the same time.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: So when I am working in my business, I mean, my clients have my full attention.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the work that I'm doing to get my message out there, that has my full attention.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: I am not trying to be spending time with my family while I'm doing this.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not trying to be...
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: in the space of, okay, you know, and I am exercising while I'm doing it.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just can't do that at the same time.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: But then when I am working on my health and making myself a priority, that's where I'm at.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, sometimes that means that I am spending quiet time with God.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that means that I am out on the walk.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that means that I, you know, I am working out with weight, you know, whatever.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in a yoga class.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm eating well.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's where my focus is.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: And where we see the burnout is when you're trying to do everything all at once.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're on a walk and you're having a business call and you're trying to be there for your family at the same time.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: It tends to feel...
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: very demanding and you feel that tension so much more than if you were just in one place at one time.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when I'm with my family, I'm with my family 100%.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I'm putting away devices.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because my kids will call me out on it.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: If by chance, you know, the phone is out and they're trying to talk to me and I'm looking at my phone, you know, they'll say, you know, mom, you know, like, You're not paying attention to me.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thankful for that because I realize, you know, I'm not, I'm trying to be balanced instead of prioritizing.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it's a beautiful gift to be, to honor yourself and your family or your business relationships by being there 100% for them at each time.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah,
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: absolutely.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's a beautiful gift, and that's what we need to do rather than, you know, multitasking does not exist.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a complete mess, right?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: We cannot multitask.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: We cannot focus on more than one thing at a time, not 100% anyway.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And have you heard, there was actually a study that was done about this where people, And I've seen it done a couple of different ways where they've had two different conversations playing and you were supposed, you know, the person that was basically being studied was to give the facts of the conversations, both conversations.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it was really interesting because they couldn't signal out and separate out what each of the messages were and they were in fact just kind of jumbling them all together but because you can only focus on one thing at a time
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: and
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: so you couldn't hear at the same time what two different conversations were having and so it's like you know if you're eavesdropping you know you're sitting with your family at dinner and you hear a conversation behind you and your family's talking to you but you are so focused on like what's happening behind you in the booth and you know your family's like what do you hear what I'm saying?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, did you hear that?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, no, because I'm talking to you.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can't hear what's happening.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's been interesting how they've done some studies that have shown we can't think like that.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: We can't focus like that.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: Our brain is not created to do that.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you think about it in a very simple way, if you're at an event and you're talking to someone and you hear someone else mention your name, You are no longer focused on the person that's talking to you.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're saying, you're listening to some other conversation.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: You're hearing bits and pieces of what the person's saying, but you're actually listening more intently to the other conversation because you want to know what they're saying.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: But you're not really present.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not giving, you're not honoring the person that you're standing there speaking with.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're not even honoring yourself, you know, because you could be missing out on such an incredible opportunity just because you heard your name somewhere else.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, you know, that's basically there's the parallel with our life.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're missing out on so much and what we could be doing really effectively because we are spending and spinning our wheels in so many other areas all at one time or even areas that we don't need to be taking on.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, simply out of, you know, because I see this a lot with, you know, perfectionist type women that they don't feel like others can do what they can do at the level that they can do.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so they won't delegate out, they won't release things.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's just causing mediocre work and your effects on the world and your impact are diminishing because you are stuck in this place that's creating more stress within your body.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: So Erica, what are...
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: Can you give me one, two really good action steps that a person, a woman, person, whoever, could take to help themselves right now with a burnout situation or a possible burnout situation in their lives and business?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the first thing is take a look, truly do an inventory of what you are responsible for.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: What are the things that you are touching and and really go through them and see what is something that you want to keep because only you can do that.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what is something that can be delegated out because it's still important but maybe someone else can handle that.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then what is something to let go of?
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: What is something that is just kind of not in your season right now?
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: And really assess what that looks like And truly start doing some true throwaway, some trash time where you are looking at the things that you no longer have to carry on your own because someone can help you with them or it's just not part of your season anymore and you can let it go.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: That would be the first piece.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: The second piece that I would look at is...
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you on your sleep cycle?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: How are you sleeping well?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep is going to be the most critical thing that you can do if you are in a burnout place because that is where your body regenerates.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's where cellular renewal is happening.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you're detoxing.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not sleeping, your body is just not operating at top function.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: And
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: so that will infect everything.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: So first thing is going to be, you know, really taking an inventory.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Second thing is making sure that you are making sleep a priority.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then the third thing is really assessing where your mindset is at.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you are in a place where, you know, you are really kind of in a negative spot, you know, where things seem a lot heavier than they probably normally would or you're coming at things just with this feeling this mentality and this mindset of negativity and doubt and fear, then you know that mindset work needs to be also placed as a priority.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Very, very good points because I know when, you know, about the first one, when you're looking at the responsibilities and do the inventory of what your responsibilities are, what you need to keep, what you need to let go of, you know, when you When we think that we're the only ones that can do this particular activity or job or task or whatever, but we really maybe aren't.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: We just really have to have that control.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: But if we give it to someone else, sometimes when we're that much of a control person, we think that it's a sign of weakness that I can't do something.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really not.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would give that person an awful lot of credit.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: for admitting, number one, that they can't do it all because nobody can.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh,
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: yeah.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and number two is for being brave enough to say that because that's huge.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are so afraid to say it because they may get washed over or they may lose their job because they can't do something.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you know...
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_00: Teresa, it's interesting because I actually– I share my story of I went through two burnouts.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm a perfectionist and a high achiever, and so I can't, you know, do things once.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I've got to do it again.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so the second time that I burnt out was because I was taking on so much, and I was in this place of fear that, you know, that my job was– was at risk if I couldn't perform, if I admitted that, like, you know, hey, like, I'm not really sure about this.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that I can do this.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if I admitted that I was either unknowledgeable about something or I was weak in an area or, you know, it was just not my strength or something that I wanted to do, you know, I...
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was basically in this perpetual state of fear and always trying to figure something out and not asking for help because I didn't want to be perceived as dumb.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to be perceived as needy.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just, you know, I basically ran my body into the ground and suffered from a huge hormonal imbalance.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, my doctors were like, whoa, what is happening?
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you sleep?
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: And thankfully, you know, I actually, I was, I was sleeping most of the time.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: But my body was just not in a good place because I was trying to do everything for everybody.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And also, you know, I wanted to be needed.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that comes from a place of ego where I think if I'm not performing at this place, then, you know, I won't be needed when the reality of it is, you know, that the people that are truly invested in you, that's, That's where the importance lies and that's where you have to be focused.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're not these outliers and whether or not they need you.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: Me trying to even be needed with my kids and not giving them the responsibility that they need in order to be functioning adults in the world.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing a disservice to them by trying to take on everything.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, responding to every need and whim.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: And, oh, you forgot your homework?
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I'll go run it over to you.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, what was that teaching them?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to get to this place, you know, where I was like, okay, like, we've got to do some just the natural consequences of your choices and not being responsible.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they were not happy at first, but I had to do it in order to get to a better place mentally and physically.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't blame you, and good for you for doing that.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've done the same thing in my lifetime too, and it's not an easy task to do, but you're teaching a future generation, and you're showing them how to be responsible adults, and that in itself is a beautiful gift that you're giving them.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what needs to happen.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, you also mentioned mindset and the sleep cycle.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you were actually sleeping, but you weren't getting to that restorative aspect of sleep that we all need to regenerate and rejuvenate ourselves.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: Is that correct?
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, basically, you know, my body was just because of the mental anguish that was happening of me being, you know, in this constant state of fear and, you know, always like, you know, oh, is this good enough?
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: Or thinking like...
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: you know, I was just having this imposter syndrome of, you know, I'm going to be found out, you know, that I don't know as much as I, you know, say I know.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: And that was never the case.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was, you know, no one had ever said anything of the sort to me at all.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, you know, I was constantly being commended for the work that I was doing and the people that I was helping, but always just feeling like I'm not good enough.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and a lot of that stems from, you know, just a lot of of stories that I've been telling myself because of my childhood, because of my upbringing.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really interesting, Teresa, because I would say a majority of the women that I see that have severe symptoms of stress, they have had some sort of of trauma, either in their childhood or in their formative years, even like high school, college, that hadn't been dealt with and their body was still hanging on to that stress because they hadn't processed that specific trauma or whatever they felt had happened to them.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: If it's just trying to be perfect for a parent, trying to win the affection of a parent through what you're doing, what you're accomplishing, and not really working through that, you have the ability, you have the increased chance of developing an autoimmune disorder.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: I would totally agree with that.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I understand where you're coming from with the incidents, the trauma, some type of event that occurred when we're young or younger that can affect us.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, we don't know what happened, why it happened, how to process it, what to do with it,
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: and
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: how to get rid of it.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because it does, if it's not dealt with, it does sit inside.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it can absolutely sit there and destroy you from the inside out, and you're right about the autoimmune disease.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: That can really be a big factor.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if we were to just, you know, and I'm a big proponent of this as well as a coach, is there is always something that we have not dealt with.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: It could be something as simple as being bullied as a kid, and that's not simple by any means.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, one incident of playground bullying Abuse or whatever you want to consider it can really have a severe effect on us for a very, very long time if it's not dealt with properly.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so, I mean, you know, that's a big piece of, you know, what I do is, you know, I want to help with the symptoms that they're experiencing.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: experiencing in that moment, but also I want to get to the root cause.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that's really the work that I do is finding out, you know, why you are experiencing these symptoms.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, it can be as simple as, you know, why are you gaining weight?
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, all of a sudden, what's happening?
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so as we kind of peel back those layers, and uncover a very busy lifestyle that has very little to rest and enjoyment.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: And what are some of the past experiences that you've had in either trauma or sickness?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: I do the ACE score, which is the Adverse Childhood Experiences.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know where they are at there because that gives me an indication of the stress load that they're carrying.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: But also understanding what symptoms they have and how severe they have them and what's going on currently in their life and what can we start with.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: What are some small steps to get a woman to feel the way that they really desire to, to bring that energy back, to help them feel revitalized and to help them really just feel have the impact that they know that they were created to make in the world by addressing all of these root causes.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right, and to have that level of fulfillment and happiness and joy in life, too, because that's so key.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we forget that we're supposed to, well, not supposed to be, but we forget that there's happiness and joy to be had out there.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not all...
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: upset, angry, and unfulfilled.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's there for us to take.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: We just need to reach out and grab it.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what our listeners can do today, too, if they want to reach out to you.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: Erica, how can they reach out to you?
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so my website, ericaeller.com, is a great spot.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really active on social media, so Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, And LinkedIn, I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's just, those are the people that need me the most because they are all business people.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, so those are the main spots.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then my podcast, Vulnerable You, Stress Unscripted, where you can hear conversations with everyday men and women that share how stress has impacted their life.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's incredible.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I am going to include all of your links, by the way, in the posting when we upload your segment because I want people to reach out to you and to learn from you and to follow you because we need more positivity in our lives.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: We need to find that happiness and that level of fulfillment that we possess inside.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're just burying it for whatever reasons.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, is there one piece of advice you would like to leave our listeners with today or a favorite quote that you have or a saying?
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so, I mean, I would say that, like you had said, there is so much to be grateful in your life today and...
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: Part of thriving where you are is looking for those small, maybe even seemingly insignificant places that you can be thankful for.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: That alone, just having a state of gratitude is just enough to really lower cortisol levels and to put your body back into a rest and digest state.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: place and so gratitude is everything and truly just look for your next best step.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: What is the next right thing for you to do today to get your body out of a stress response?
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: Very good words of wisdom.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know I do have massage therapy regularly to help me with my injuries and my situation and I know that when I usually have a difficult time relaxing However, when I'm having a massage, my stomach is just gurgling and going and having a good time.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: And there's that rest and
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: digest
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: and relax and digest aspect.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, one key thing, massage, very good for me because it does help me to relax.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so many other aspects that we can incorporate easily into our lives.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: We just need to be aware first of what's going on, what's happening, what's causing it and why and what we can do to change it.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: And good for you for being aware of what works well for you and what puts you into that parasympathetic place within your body.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, it's very difficult at times because of the trauma that's happened and the injuries into my back.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: Some days I cannot relax those specific areas.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: However, if
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: you really put your mind to it and focus on that specific area, that's how I can get it to relax.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: But trust me, it doesn't always last very long.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: But little steps get you to a bigger goal.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and, you know, like there isn't a– I think everybody wants that magic pill, right?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not anything like that.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's truly– it is a lifestyle.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's habits that you are creating in your everyday life that make the big impact of how your stress is presenting in your body.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right, and it's how– it all affects how we show up every day, whether it be for just ourselves or for someone else or who we're working for or our families.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to just get back to those important parts of who we are and what's important to us and and eliminate what is not working.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_00: So Erica, thank you.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: You've been an amazing guest.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Lots of feedback, lots of good tips and tools to share.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: And like I say, I'm going to share all of your links with our listeners when we post the segment.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you so much for coming today and being an incredible guest.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I just love chatting with you.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I think in the future we should have you back.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I would love it.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have absolutely loved this conversation.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: You are an excellent podcast host, and you have some really great questions, and you're just very affirming.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, thank you very much.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's lovely to hear.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I know I'm doing one thing well.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know what, because we were talking earlier about what's going on in my life in the last year, I had actually decided to take a few months off work too.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I had been kept, excuse me, I can't even talk now.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: I've been keeping up my podcast because that is one aspect that feeds my soul.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it tells me that I'm doing something effective for someone else as well as for myself because I'm taking in all this information too and learning.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you again.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_00: That brings to a close another great inspiring interview on Powering Through Life.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I really want to thank my incredible guest, Erica Eller, for sharing her thoughts and wisdom on how we can manage stress and beat burnout in our lives.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Divas, that brings to a close another great, inspiring interview on Powering Through Life.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you to my incredible guests for sharing your story with us.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: Divas, if you would like to connect with my guests, just go to DivasThatCare.com, click on my picture at the top, that's Teresa Sims, and there you can access all of my interviews.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be shy.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_00: Reach out if you have any questions or simply just leave us a comment.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: Also, you can contact me at my website.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's TeresaSims.com.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Powering Through Life on the Divas That Care Network.