Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 35 - How Minding Your Business Leads To Healing And Recovery?

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Episode 35 - How Minding Your Business Leads To Healing And Recovery? · You Minding Your Own Business

0:01
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hello everybody. Welcome to you. Minding your own
0:05
Speaker 1: business and with self respect leads to self love. I'm
0:08
Speaker 1: your host, Scott is Asha Mary Alma. Thank you guys
0:10
Speaker 1: for joining me for this episode. Normally I would go
0:14
Speaker 1: into the intro, but today is not gonna be that.
0:17
Speaker 1: Today I just wanna talk none more, nothing less. This
0:23
Speaker 1: is my own personal journal for today. I guess you
0:30
Speaker 1: can say now, if you guys can resonate with my
0:35
Speaker 1: journal today and my just being vulnerable, being honest and
0:42
Speaker 1: being truthful and going into my own healing and recovery,
0:48
Speaker 1: then by all means you can send me an email
0:52
Speaker 1: and you can tell me all about how it resonates
0:55
Speaker 1: with you. My email address is Asha dot m A
0:59
Speaker 1: r I am A zero one at gmail dot com.
1:03
Speaker 1: It's a Saha dot m A r I A M
1:06
Speaker 1: A zero one at gmail dot com. Now, at the
1:12
Speaker 1: end of the day, rehealing and recovering is not something
1:18
Speaker 1: that just happens over a period of time. It's forever.
1:23
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing, there's not really a time limit
1:28
Speaker 1: on healing and recovery. But the more you go through,
1:34
Speaker 1: the harder it is to recover. The one thing I
1:37
Speaker 1: learned about being alone these since twenties, twenties, since two
1:42
Speaker 1: thousand and seventeen. It'll be ten years in twenty and
1:47
Speaker 1: twenty seven. But then I would take that back because
1:51
Speaker 1: in two thousand and eighteen, in two thousand and nineteen,
1:55
Speaker 1: I did end up in my last relationship, and I've
1:58
Speaker 1: been alone since two thousan I was in eighteen, well,
2:02
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen, I should say, and I've been alone
2:05
Speaker 1: ever since. So it's been twenty twenty one, twenty two,
2:09
Speaker 1: twenty three, twenty four, twenty five, it's been six years.
2:12
Speaker 1: But what I will say is this here. I when
2:18
Speaker 1: I went through my journey of being alone, I came
2:22
Speaker 1: to the realization I was alone pretty much my whole
2:26
Speaker 1: entire life. I never been somebody that just went and said, Okay,
2:30
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna walk up to somebody and say can
2:32
Speaker 1: you be my friend. I don't do that. I never
2:35
Speaker 1: been somebody and walked up to some boy and told
2:37
Speaker 1: him I like to him. Never did that. I've always
2:41
Speaker 1: was the girl that was rejected. I was always the
2:43
Speaker 1: Captain Saber ho Bill de Bear, Bill Dhalci, feelers, people pleaser,
2:47
Speaker 1: and the person that always felt like I had to
2:50
Speaker 1: be the person when somebody said jump, I always had
2:52
Speaker 1: to say how hi. I was always the one that
2:55
Speaker 1: was willing to go through hoops and bounds just be
2:58
Speaker 1: loveke to appreciate it, valued want It needed to be
3:01
Speaker 1: a part of something, to be validated, to be approved of,
3:03
Speaker 1: to be accepted, for somebody to know my worth improvements.
3:05
Speaker 1: On the baby that was me, I was the one
3:10
Speaker 1: that did not feel I was good enough. I felt
3:12
Speaker 1: like no matter what I did, it was never enough.
3:15
Speaker 1: It was to the point that I didn't think I
3:17
Speaker 1: deserved all of the blessings that I received. That's how
3:21
Speaker 1: bad it was. It was to the point that when
3:23
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I thought that God didn't exist
3:26
Speaker 1: and God was punishing me, and I didn't believe. I
3:29
Speaker 1: didn't think that God existed, but God showed me that
3:32
Speaker 1: he did. So now there's not a question in my
3:35
Speaker 1: mind that God does exist. But I had to do
3:38
Speaker 1: some repenting cause when God lade me see was when
3:44
Speaker 1: everything started going wrong, even though there were things already
3:47
Speaker 1: going on wrong in my life as it was, but
3:50
Speaker 1: it was even worse when God wasn't there. But sometimes
3:53
Speaker 1: God will do that. Sometimes God, if you don't believe
3:57
Speaker 1: God will let you go through it, right because you
4:00
Speaker 1: didn't listen to him when he was telling you not
4:03
Speaker 1: to go through it in the first place. And if
4:05
Speaker 1: you're gonna go through it, God will be there. But
4:09
Speaker 1: until you say God, I need you, God, I want
4:12
Speaker 1: you to help me through this, and you do everything
4:14
Speaker 1: that God is telling you to do, it ain't gonna
4:17
Speaker 1: get no better now. Mind you, this might be a
4:20
Speaker 1: little bit of what Sunday gonna go into far as
4:23
Speaker 1: you know finding your any piece of tranquility. But I
4:27
Speaker 1: will say this, this journey of my medical situation has
4:33
Speaker 1: forever changed me. The damage that I'm dealing with because
4:40
Speaker 1: of things that I chose to consume and acknowledge, things
4:45
Speaker 1: I chose to put myself through, things I chose to
4:49
Speaker 1: allow people to do to me is why I'm here
4:53
Speaker 1: and now I'm trying to heal that. But I couldn't
4:57
Speaker 1: do that without healing my self esteem, self worth, and
5:01
Speaker 1: self value. I had to heal myself mentally and psychologically.
5:07
Speaker 1: And mental and psychologically are different. I must tell you
5:12
Speaker 1: it is a difference. So let me explain. Mental is
5:17
Speaker 1: more or less about some people that are entirely too
5:21
Speaker 1: strong and they don't ask for help, and they take
5:26
Speaker 1: on a lot of baggage that they shouldn't. They're the ones.
5:31
Speaker 1: It's always the reliable one, the dependable one, the one
5:34
Speaker 1: that can always be the person that's always taking care
5:38
Speaker 1: of everybody else, but nobody takes care of them. They're
5:42
Speaker 1: the ones buying gifts and nobody reciprocates it. They never
5:46
Speaker 1: get what they give and people prey on that. And
5:52
Speaker 1: they're not with you for the right reasons. They're with
5:55
Speaker 1: you for the wrong reasons. It's just like today, my
6:01
Speaker 1: throat was hurting so bad. I had to tell my
6:04
Speaker 1: homegirl cause I'm visiting family, like y'all should know, and
6:07
Speaker 1: I told her I couldn't go because my throat was
6:10
Speaker 1: really bothering me. Now that I've taken the antibiotic, it
6:13
Speaker 1: actually is helping well. I took the other the other
6:17
Speaker 1: first antibiotic first, and I have to take it three days,
6:21
Speaker 1: and it is helping my throat because it does feel
6:24
Speaker 1: a whole lot better. So it is working and so far,
6:29
Speaker 1: knock on wood, there's no sade effects so far, but
6:35
Speaker 1: it did make my stomach feel weird at first. So
6:38
Speaker 1: wherever I have any type of like bacteria or fungui.
6:44
Speaker 1: It's gonna heal it now. Mind you. I'm not ashamed
6:47
Speaker 1: of any of this, because again there are people that
6:50
Speaker 1: go through the same thing. But I look at it
6:52
Speaker 1: as a cleanse and once I take this antibiotics, it's
6:57
Speaker 1: gonna be about how to maintain keeping the fun guy
7:03
Speaker 1: and the bacteria from you know, coming into my body.
7:08
Speaker 1: So I think this is going to heal everything where
7:12
Speaker 1: there's any type of fun guy or bacteria. Cause I
7:16
Speaker 1: have another one I gotta take. That's for my back
7:19
Speaker 1: for bacteria. So let me tell you how this started.
7:22
Speaker 1: I've been having issues with my throat for quite some
7:24
Speaker 1: time and there's a bunch of swelling. My whole entire
7:27
Speaker 1: right side of my face is swollen. And so when
7:30
Speaker 1: I went to the dentist, the lady said, girl, your
7:32
Speaker 1: face is swollen on your right hand. It's right side
7:35
Speaker 1: and it is swollen. And so when the doctor, I
7:38
Speaker 1: was telling him about a tooth that they were supposed
7:41
Speaker 1: to pull the root, they never did. So I was
7:44
Speaker 1: supposed to have been win and got it done, but
7:46
Speaker 1: I didn't. So now I have an access so the ascess.
7:50
Speaker 1: They have to do that deal with that first. That's
7:52
Speaker 1: the reason I'm taking his medication, so it basically gets
7:56
Speaker 1: rid of any bacteria, any fun guy, anything like that,
8:00
Speaker 1: not only in the mouth, but the whole entire body.
8:02
Speaker 1: So it helps with that. And I noticed that I
8:05
Speaker 1: just took one. I gotta take up three days, So Tomorrow,
8:08
Speaker 1: Saturday and Sunday before I go to bed is when
8:11
Speaker 1: I take it. I don't take it during the day.
8:13
Speaker 1: The other medication I will take in the morning and
8:16
Speaker 1: then one at night. I'm supposed to take two, but
8:20
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take one and then take one in the
8:22
Speaker 1: evening on the same day, and then take one after
8:25
Speaker 1: that every eight hours until it's gone. But in the end,
8:30
Speaker 1: like I said, you know what I've learned is some
8:34
Speaker 1: medication is gonna make you feel bad because there are
8:38
Speaker 1: things going on that need to be healed. So it's
8:43
Speaker 1: good to take an antibiotic if you need one, because
8:47
Speaker 1: it's just like a cleanse. But once you take that antibiotic,
8:52
Speaker 1: you've got to basically do what you have to do
8:55
Speaker 1: to keep things from becoming in your system that don't
8:58
Speaker 1: belong there. So, for example, how do you keep bacteria
9:01
Speaker 1: infections from happening? Well, Number one, sex, that's the first thing.
9:08
Speaker 1: You gotta make sure that whoever you're having sex with
9:10
Speaker 1: is clean. Matter of fact, before y'all have sex, you
9:13
Speaker 1: need to go take a shower. That is the one
9:15
Speaker 1: thing I've always done. I've always taken a shower before sex.
9:19
Speaker 1: That's just something I do because I think that's something
9:23
Speaker 1: every person should do. So you should always cleanse yourself
9:26
Speaker 1: before you have sex. Not only that, you may have
9:30
Speaker 1: to cut your you know, your pubic hairs and you
9:34
Speaker 1: know all of those things. That's nothing keeping that clean.
9:38
Speaker 1: So I need people to understand that you're gonna have
9:42
Speaker 1: to start taking, you know, stuff that's going to help
9:47
Speaker 1: you know, cleanse out your cleanse out, things like doing
9:50
Speaker 1: a parasite cleanse. I might as well add this on
9:53
Speaker 1: happier you leads to a healthier youth. But I'm gonna
9:56
Speaker 1: talk about this next week anyways. But this is just
9:58
Speaker 1: something for recovery and healing, form a self esteem, self
10:02
Speaker 1: worth and self value and me focusing on myself. So
10:07
Speaker 1: one of the things I'm gonna do is parasite cleans
10:09
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna probably be in the bathroom in all
10:11
Speaker 1: day for the next seven days. But I think I'm
10:13
Speaker 1: only gonna do it for like seven to fourteen days,
10:15
Speaker 1: because probably seven days to just see how it works.
10:20
Speaker 1: And once I do that, then I'm very sure I'm
10:25
Speaker 1: gonna lose a lot of weight because I'll be getting
10:28
Speaker 1: rid of a lot of parasites. Now, mind you, the
10:31
Speaker 1: problem what happens and what people do is even though
10:34
Speaker 1: you cleanse out your the parasites, you're putting the parasites
10:38
Speaker 1: back in by eating a lot of processed foods things
10:41
Speaker 1: like that. Well, guess what, there are parasites when it
10:45
Speaker 1: comes to people. You have people out here that are parasites,
10:50
Speaker 1: people that basically essentially are coming in your life and
10:55
Speaker 1: causing damage, and it is to a point that it
10:59
Speaker 1: is so bad that you literally have a hard time
11:03
Speaker 1: getting rid of them. You have a lot of people
11:07
Speaker 1: that are wolves in she clothing, born girl to cry, wolves, sirens,
11:10
Speaker 1: vampires and snakes that y'all are running around trying to follow,
11:14
Speaker 1: trying to be like. And these people are miserable. So
11:17
Speaker 1: let me give you an example of this. Nicki Minaj
11:20
Speaker 1: and Siza have been going back and forth on social
11:24
Speaker 1: media all because of a comment that Sissa made that
11:28
Speaker 1: she thinks had something to do with Nicky and it didn't.
11:31
Speaker 1: My whole thing in this situation is I'm not sitting
11:34
Speaker 1: around arguing with somebody about something when you could have
11:38
Speaker 1: came to me as a grown woman and asked me
11:41
Speaker 1: what it was that it was about. It's the same
11:44
Speaker 1: thing she did when it came to Cardi B. Made
11:47
Speaker 1: assumptions about Cardi B not liking her, come to find
11:49
Speaker 1: out that wasn't true. Now, for some people that Nicki
11:54
Speaker 1: go after, I can completely understand. But why are you
11:59
Speaker 1: going after jay Z and Beyonce for they've done nothing
12:04
Speaker 1: to you? But Nikki don't understand that the reason all
12:09
Speaker 1: of this is happening it has nothing to do with
12:12
Speaker 1: her being black balled by the Grammys. Nothing cause nobody's
12:16
Speaker 1: blackballing her because her music is still being nominated. She
12:20
Speaker 1: just can't perform on the Grammys because of exorcism. What
12:23
Speaker 1: she don't do is what she don't understand is when
12:25
Speaker 1: she did that, that particular exorcism, that's spiritual, and when
12:30
Speaker 1: you do something like that, you don't know what you're releasing.
12:34
Speaker 1: It's just like a power to tongue. You don't know
12:36
Speaker 1: what you're releasing when you're doing cuss words. I was
12:39
Speaker 1: on TikTok, and I saw something that blew my mind
12:42
Speaker 1: about cuss words and also why you don't pray laying down.
12:46
Speaker 1: So now I set up cause I when I wasn't
12:48
Speaker 1: feeling one, when I was sick, I always prayed when
12:51
Speaker 1: I was laying down cause I was you know, I
12:52
Speaker 1: wasn't one hundred percent. Now that I'm better, I get down,
12:55
Speaker 1: I'm gonna either and I start prying. But right now
12:58
Speaker 1: I don't have my Bible with me. But what I
13:01
Speaker 1: am gonna do when I get off here is go
13:05
Speaker 1: to my scriptures and start, you know, every day looking
13:08
Speaker 1: at my scriptures like I used to. I just haven't
13:10
Speaker 1: done it in a minute, but I need to start
13:12
Speaker 1: getting back into that. But when I went on my
13:15
Speaker 1: cruise in January, I was so off track that I
13:21
Speaker 1: think I ended up off track. Period. I did because
13:26
Speaker 1: I was really off track. Then when I went to Vegas,
13:28
Speaker 1: I got even more off track. So I've been off
13:31
Speaker 1: track ever since. And that happens. Though. I need people
13:35
Speaker 1: to understand there will be times that when you start
13:38
Speaker 1: doing something that something will get you off track, and
13:43
Speaker 1: it may be for a little bit, but that's okay too.
13:47
Speaker 1: And even when I came home for vacation. I got
13:49
Speaker 1: off track because I'm eating things that I probably would
13:52
Speaker 1: have never ate at home. And that's okay too. It's
13:57
Speaker 1: okay if you get off track lightly. But it wasn't
14:02
Speaker 1: really a big thing because, like I said, a lot
14:05
Speaker 1: of processed foods I don't eat anymore because of the
14:09
Speaker 1: bioengineering and the m the genetic modifying, and that doesn't
14:14
Speaker 1: do any good in your store my stomach. And then
14:16
Speaker 1: when I started literally doing my research on food, I said,
14:20
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just good with vegetables and making
14:23
Speaker 1: my own dough, making my own bread. So now I'm
14:26
Speaker 1: about to get a bread maker, and I'm ordering all
14:28
Speaker 1: this stuff over the weekend and having it delivered to
14:31
Speaker 1: my house because I really want to get something. When
14:39
Speaker 1: I get home next weekend, I will be packing my
14:45
Speaker 1: stuff for my cruise. Yeah, I'm going on a Margarita
14:48
Speaker 1: other sea next year, and I'm packing early. Let me
14:53
Speaker 1: explain why I'm packing early, because I'm going. I'm going.
15:00
Speaker 1: I don't want to wait till the last minute to
15:02
Speaker 1: pack because I'm gonna be back visiting my family in November, Okay,
15:10
Speaker 1: and I won't be back until January. But when I
15:16
Speaker 1: get back that following week. I won't be going on
15:20
Speaker 1: vacation now, mind you, I might work while I'm on
15:25
Speaker 1: the while I'm I actually might be working while I
15:29
Speaker 1: am you know, in the season. It just depends on
15:33
Speaker 1: how it works while in the water. So I might
15:37
Speaker 1: work early in the morning and then you know, get up,
15:41
Speaker 1: you know, go downstairs, get breakfast, come back upstairs and
15:46
Speaker 1: do some work. But it just depends on me. But
15:50
Speaker 1: I will be doing some writing while I'm on the boat.
15:53
Speaker 1: I will be getting off the boat. I will be
15:55
Speaker 1: having a great time and enjoying myself. My homegirl gonna
16:00
Speaker 1: call me, and I haven't told her yet. I'm going
16:02
Speaker 1: on the Margharita to see in January. Haven't told her yet,
16:06
Speaker 1: but more in her she's probably gonna wanna go, and
16:10
Speaker 1: she probably will get me half of the money to
16:12
Speaker 1: go and the tips and everything. I just add her
16:15
Speaker 1: on the trip, because you know, Margarita to seed, you
16:19
Speaker 1: pay for two people, so you have the person who's
16:22
Speaker 1: got to give me the money, and then I'll put
16:25
Speaker 1: it toward the trip and just pay off my portion
16:28
Speaker 1: and that would be it. But all I have to
16:31
Speaker 1: do is just get the Internet package and then I
16:35
Speaker 1: gotta get like I think it's like a soda package
16:38
Speaker 1: you get for like fourteen dollars, and you'll have sodas
16:43
Speaker 1: in your room the whole time. But I don't drink sodas.
16:45
Speaker 1: I drink juice, So I'll probably be going around and
16:51
Speaker 1: bring in my big gigantic cup that I finally got
16:54
Speaker 1: here and fill it up with a bunch of juices,
16:58
Speaker 1: and probably bring more than one so I have something
17:02
Speaker 1: to drink at night, and then bringing a small thing
17:04
Speaker 1: of soap so I can rent out my container. So
17:07
Speaker 1: I'm really excited about this. It's an ocean view room.
17:11
Speaker 1: It's not a balcony, but I can always upgrade, so
17:16
Speaker 1: if I upgrade for and then always in November, you
17:21
Speaker 1: can always upgrade. But it's already paid for, so iaurday
17:26
Speaker 1: have to pay extra to upgrade if I wanted to upgrade,
17:30
Speaker 1: so I could always upgrade if I wanted to so,
17:35
Speaker 1: and if my home girl gave me the money, I
17:37
Speaker 1: would probably upgrade. So I probably would end up upgrading.
17:42
Speaker 1: And then sometimes they'll let you know if you pay
17:44
Speaker 1: extra hundred dollars two hundred dollars you can upgraak. So
17:49
Speaker 1: that's always a good thing, so I'm excited about that.
17:53
Speaker 1: I got a call them about another trip that I'm
18:00
Speaker 1: might be going on this year, so I know I'll
18:04
Speaker 1: be going to Charlotte. Were trying to debate that now.
18:09
Speaker 1: My homegirl's birthday is in November, so I don't know
18:12
Speaker 1: what we're doing. But I will say this, when it
18:16
Speaker 1: comes down to these situations with my life, you know,
18:24
Speaker 1: I'm working on my health and wellness more than anything.
18:27
Speaker 1: So I have some exercise bikes that I plan on
18:31
Speaker 1: getting some stuff from TikTok I plan on buying that's
18:35
Speaker 1: getting sent to the house next week, and it should
18:38
Speaker 1: get there by the time I get there. Some of
18:42
Speaker 1: it may come after, but I am getting a bread
18:46
Speaker 1: maker sent to my house. When I go home, I'm
18:50
Speaker 1: going to rearrange my kitchen. I'm gonna have somebody come
18:56
Speaker 1: and do my night stand and then do my uh
19:02
Speaker 1: kivy stave or do those and have them come and
19:07
Speaker 1: set everything up so it'll finally look like a home.
19:11
Speaker 1: Redo my kitchen, go through my pots and pants, move
19:14
Speaker 1: some things around, and that way I have a little
19:17
Speaker 1: room to t to take stuff down and pull something out.
19:21
Speaker 1: I got a st I got a stepping stool. Thank
19:23
Speaker 1: God for that. So I'm really excited when I pull
19:26
Speaker 1: my exercise stuff out, where am I gonna put it at?
19:31
Speaker 1: Some of it can go underneath the bed, which is good.
19:33
Speaker 1: Some of it can go in the closet. So I'm
19:36
Speaker 1: really excited about these four machines that I'm buying. One
19:40
Speaker 1: is a a app machine, the other one is a
19:43
Speaker 1: shaking machine that works with your uh lymphatics, and then
19:47
Speaker 1: the third one is this little thing you shake, and
19:52
Speaker 1: then the fourth one I forgot what it was. It'll
19:56
Speaker 1: come to me a little bit. But these machines are
20:01
Speaker 1: an investment. So again, you know, with your self esteem,
20:07
Speaker 1: self worth, and self value, you're not really trying to
20:11
Speaker 1: be beautiful for everybody else, just for yourself. I always
20:16
Speaker 1: say you don't. You need to know what the new
20:20
Speaker 1: version of you is going to look like, what your
20:22
Speaker 1: style is going to be, what the whole purpose of
20:28
Speaker 1: this new journey is going to be. It shouldn't be
20:33
Speaker 1: to get married or to be in a relationship. It
20:36
Speaker 1: should be because you genuinely, genuinely want to be healthy
20:41
Speaker 1: in all aspects of your life. But the first part
20:45
Speaker 1: of recovery is finding your way back to the Higher Power,
20:49
Speaker 1: whether it be religious or whether it be spiritual. Either
20:52
Speaker 1: way it go being a gollly person, being a Muslim, Buddhist,
20:57
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it. At the end of
21:00
Speaker 1: the day, you're serving something that you don't see. But
21:05
Speaker 1: God sends you signs all the time. But once you
21:12
Speaker 1: find what your path and your purpose is, then you
21:15
Speaker 1: know what you need to do to better you and
21:19
Speaker 1: to become the better version of yourself. Like tomorrow, if
21:23
Speaker 1: my mom has to go and watch my niece, then
21:27
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in here going through a bunch of stuff,
21:31
Speaker 1: seeing what I can wear and what I cannot wear,
21:33
Speaker 1: and what I'm gonna be taking home and what I'm
21:35
Speaker 1: not Because Monday Tuesday I will be sending stuff to
21:45
Speaker 1: I will be sending stuff, boxing stuff up, and sending
21:49
Speaker 1: it off on Monday, so or Tuesday, I'll be sending
21:53
Speaker 1: some stuff off and it should be there by the
21:54
Speaker 1: time I day after Monday, but it should be there.
21:58
Speaker 1: Bringing in the house, take it, unbox it. That's it.
22:01
Speaker 1: I gotta box in here. I gotta go through to
22:03
Speaker 1: see what's in it. Make sure there's nothing in it.
22:06
Speaker 1: Pull everything out, make sure nothing in it, make sure
22:10
Speaker 1: the boxes are not that heavy, but it's primarily just
22:14
Speaker 1: clothes and a few other things. I'm also trying to
22:21
Speaker 1: see what stuff I'm gonna be doing as far as
22:23
Speaker 1: jewelry stuff like that. So again, you know, once you
22:29
Speaker 1: have in your mind with this new version of you
22:31
Speaker 1: is gonna look like, then you just make it happen. Now,
22:36
Speaker 1: the problem is you might get distracted. Now during this journey,
22:41
Speaker 1: you might meet some people, and that's fine, nothing wrong
22:44
Speaker 1: with that, but they need to understand you're on a
22:48
Speaker 1: journey and either they're gonna exist on their journey, go
22:50
Speaker 1: with you on the journey, walk with you on the journey,
22:52
Speaker 1: or they can't be there. So the journey that you're
22:57
Speaker 1: going on is figuring out who who you are, without
23:01
Speaker 1: no influences, without nobody telling you you're right or wrong.
23:05
Speaker 1: It's just you, You and God, you and Allah, whatever
23:10
Speaker 1: you wanna call the higher power. Everybody has its own
23:15
Speaker 1: name for the higher power. What's important is is that
23:17
Speaker 1: you know there's a higher power, and that's all that matters.
23:20
Speaker 1: But getting away from the world means that you can
23:25
Speaker 1: look at the world from afar. And right now I'm
23:28
Speaker 1: watching the world from afar, but I am gonna get
23:31
Speaker 1: back into the world because hopefully this medication because it's
23:36
Speaker 1: already working. Already, my throat actually feels one hundred and
23:42
Speaker 1: fifty percenter. So I took the medication and it is helping,
23:46
Speaker 1: and I'm starting to feel a lot better. Whatever pain
23:49
Speaker 1: that I was feeling earlier, I feel much better. I
23:53
Speaker 1: probably could exercise if I wanted to. I do have
23:57
Speaker 1: a kidney a system my kids. I gotta get looked
24:01
Speaker 1: at because it is getting worse and I am having
24:03
Speaker 1: a lot of pain. So they may have to give
24:05
Speaker 1: medication for it, or they may have to go in
24:08
Speaker 1: and test it to see if it's not whether it's
24:12
Speaker 1: it's cancerous or not, and if it's not, then they
24:14
Speaker 1: can just remove it and that'll be it or that.
24:17
Speaker 1: So things have been so the On't think when you're
24:23
Speaker 1: on this journey that you're not gonna backslide or you're
24:26
Speaker 1: not gonna get distracted or pull the stock back in.
24:30
Speaker 1: It happens. Trust me, you gonna have a bunch of
24:33
Speaker 1: kN a bunch of knockdowns, a bunch of crying, a
24:36
Speaker 1: bunch of you gonna even you gonna you gonna even
24:39
Speaker 1: feel like why am I even here? You know? It's
24:43
Speaker 1: a lot of people that end their lives because they
24:45
Speaker 1: get to that place where it's either you gonna take
24:50
Speaker 1: your life or you gonna survive. But that's the one
24:54
Speaker 1: thing about recovery. You gonna feel like you're in that
24:57
Speaker 1: dark place and especially ment mentally and psychologically, when you
25:03
Speaker 1: start realizing how people took advantage of you. Man, you're
25:06
Speaker 1: gonna be in a very dark place. I ain't gonna
25:07
Speaker 1: lie to you, but I went through this alone. I
25:11
Speaker 1: didn't go through this with anybody else. It was just me, me, myself, me.
25:15
Speaker 1: That was it. But I got through it. It wasn't easy,
25:19
Speaker 1: but I got through it. But I had a will
25:23
Speaker 1: to live my son. I got a will to live
25:26
Speaker 1: my family. So even recently, my family and I were
25:30
Speaker 1: starting to speak, and I'm sure I'll hear more from them.
25:33
Speaker 1: But like I said, at the end of the day,
25:37
Speaker 1: we all have our battles that we have to fight,
25:40
Speaker 1: things that we have to go through. But to become
25:44
Speaker 1: the new version of you is not based on society.
25:46
Speaker 1: It's based on you and what it is that you're
25:50
Speaker 1: meant to do. You know how, when they say when
25:52
Speaker 1: I grow up, I want to be a doctor, I
25:54
Speaker 1: want to be a lawyer when teachers ask you that,
25:56
Speaker 1: that's where you're gonna be at that same kid as
25:59
Speaker 1: far as what you want to do, but as an adult.
26:01
Speaker 1: So now, even at fifty one, even at seventy five,
26:04
Speaker 1: you're now doing everything that you wanna do, traveling, seeing
26:07
Speaker 1: the world, not working for nobody, building a business, building
26:11
Speaker 1: a brand, building a legacy. You see things for what
26:15
Speaker 1: they are, including with government, all this other stuff medically, medical,
26:20
Speaker 1: doctor stuff like that. You see things for what they
26:23
Speaker 1: are and you move accordingly to it. When you stop
26:29
Speaker 1: doing and consuming things that's gonna mess up your life,
26:32
Speaker 1: you will see the difference in how you feel. But
26:36
Speaker 1: that's because you're not consuming anything that's going to mess
26:42
Speaker 1: up your life at this point. It's not about doing
26:46
Speaker 1: the wrong thing, and ain't about doing things that go
26:49
Speaker 1: against everything that's right. To do something wrong, and don't
26:52
Speaker 1: get me wrong, you gonna be tempted. Don't get me wrong,
26:56
Speaker 1: you will get distracted. But here's the difference stuff. If
27:00
Speaker 1: you really learn from your mistakes, then you're not gonna
27:03
Speaker 1: continue to repeat it. You're going to move forward and
27:07
Speaker 1: you're gonna keep it pushing. And that's just pretty much it.
27:11
Speaker 1: So whatever's meant for you. You're not chasing it, you're
27:16
Speaker 1: not trying to beg nobody to do anything. People will
27:20
Speaker 1: just naturally gravitate to gravitate to you, not because you're
27:24
Speaker 1: showing off everything, not because you're attractive, but just because
27:29
Speaker 1: you say something that resonates with people. If you look
27:33
Speaker 1: at Philip Mike, Philip Anthony Mitchell, for example, a lot
27:38
Speaker 1: of people when he first started, like he said, a
27:42
Speaker 1: lot of people didn't even gravitate to him, but he
27:46
Speaker 1: kept going and eventually people started gravitating to him. And
27:50
Speaker 1: here we are. So at the end of the day,
27:54
Speaker 1: he's saying things a lot of pasts, a lot of
27:56
Speaker 1: preachers don't like, but he's only speaking what's in the Bible.
28:02
Speaker 1: And like he said, it was a journey. And that's
28:05
Speaker 1: the thing. God didn't choose perfect people. He chose people
28:09
Speaker 1: that were damaged. He chose people that were murderers. He
28:13
Speaker 1: chose people that basically weren't exactly the best. But guess what,
28:18
Speaker 1: in the end, that's what they turned out and they
28:20
Speaker 1: were still human. So there are a few like Job
28:24
Speaker 1: and Noah and that really didn't do negative things, but
28:30
Speaker 1: they still suffered just the same but they didn't question
28:34
Speaker 1: what God wanted them to do, and no matter what
28:37
Speaker 1: happened negative, their faith in God didn't waverm So that's
28:43
Speaker 1: how you got to be Your faith in God does
28:45
Speaker 1: not waiver because negative things happen, because they're gonna happen
28:48
Speaker 1: all the time. So when it comes to your mental
28:52
Speaker 1: and psychological health, that's something that has a lot to
28:56
Speaker 1: do with your self esteem. But when you become this
28:58
Speaker 1: new version, it isn't just about obtaining and becoming the
29:02
Speaker 1: new version. It's maintaining it for the rest of your life. Now,
29:07
Speaker 1: mind you, you gonna grow, evolve, and elevate, but you're
29:11
Speaker 1: still gonna maintain that new version of yourself and you're
29:14
Speaker 1: gonna continue to do things to improve and make yourself better.
29:18
Speaker 1: Is it gonna be easy, No, it's not, but it's
29:23
Speaker 1: worth it when you start seeing the improvements. When you're
29:28
Speaker 1: able to make money and you don't even know where
29:30
Speaker 1: the money came from, and now you're able to have
29:33
Speaker 1: made it by a house. The fact that nobody knows
29:37
Speaker 1: that you have all of this money, nobody knows that
29:41
Speaker 1: you're doing well. They have no idea that you are
29:46
Speaker 1: in fact doing well. The only thing they know is
29:50
Speaker 1: that you are still this poor individual. So let me
29:54
Speaker 1: give you an example of this. There was a skit
29:58
Speaker 1: without a skit. It was forty folk tales that they
30:01
Speaker 1: tell every day that I watch, and there was one
30:05
Speaker 1: where they thought the girl that the guy worked at Target.
30:10
Speaker 1: The guy ain't worked in Target in years, but because
30:14
Speaker 1: they made the assumption for years, they thought this man
30:17
Speaker 1: was broke, and his family always made him feel bad
30:23
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, always talked about him. They didn't
30:26
Speaker 1: even know that he had a whole girlfriend. So the
30:30
Speaker 1: only people that knew was his grandparents, the only ones
30:32
Speaker 1: that believed in him. So when he built a very
30:37
Speaker 1: successful business, he ended up buying you know, real estate
30:42
Speaker 1: and you know, fixing it up and then letting people
30:45
Speaker 1: rent the apartments where his sister was the one they
30:49
Speaker 1: held at a high standard, and so on and so forth.
30:52
Speaker 1: And then she lost her job, and so she finally
30:56
Speaker 1: told him the truth. And he could have told his
30:59
Speaker 1: parents that she lost her job, he just chose not to.
31:03
Speaker 1: He chose not to say anything at all. He said,
31:05
Speaker 1: you know what, it ain't worth me saying anything to
31:08
Speaker 1: you about anything, So no, I'm not gonna do that.
31:13
Speaker 1: So what ended up happening was he went to dinner
31:17
Speaker 1: and his grandfather asked her to come to dinner. Went
31:19
Speaker 1: to dinner, and his family, of course, was talking about
31:22
Speaker 1: his girlfriend and what she had on, so on and
31:24
Speaker 1: so forth. Well, then the the grandfather persists to say,
31:30
Speaker 1: this young man has been making money since he graduated college.
31:35
Speaker 1: This young man has been basically buy in real estate,
31:39
Speaker 1: fixing up and s and and renting out these apartments.
31:43
Speaker 1: When they found out, they were in shock. So they
31:48
Speaker 1: wanted the daughter to come back and live with them.
31:51
Speaker 1: But if he would have lost everything, they wouldn't let
31:53
Speaker 1: him move in the house. They have never done that.
31:56
Speaker 1: He didn't have to figure it out on his own.
31:59
Speaker 1: So enable people is not always a good thing. It ain't.
32:04
Speaker 1: But what ended up happening was now they wanted to
32:06
Speaker 1: talk to him. Now they wanted him to help them out.
32:09
Speaker 1: And he's like, no, cause you didn't help me when
32:11
Speaker 1: I wanted to go to college. You sat there and
32:14
Speaker 1: put me down for years, and now you want me
32:17
Speaker 1: to help you after you find out now that I
32:18
Speaker 1: got money. Yeah, it's just like people that do shared
32:23
Speaker 1: accounts and then all of a sudden your money go
32:25
Speaker 1: and you don't understand how because you put some money
32:29
Speaker 1: on your bancout, you should have put on there in
32:30
Speaker 1: the first place. That's why a lot of people have separate,
32:33
Speaker 1: separate bank accounts and one joint account. And that joint
32:37
Speaker 1: account is tricky towards bills and towards clothes or whatever
32:42
Speaker 1: like you know, children's clothes and stuff like that, and
32:45
Speaker 1: the extra money you got left over goes towards vacations. Well,
32:50
Speaker 1: what a lot of people don't understand is when you
32:51
Speaker 1: got two people that got income. People don't understand why
32:54
Speaker 1: fifty fifty is important. Well, fifty fifty is important because
32:59
Speaker 1: when it comes down to having extra money to do something,
33:04
Speaker 1: it's better if two incomes is better than one. But
33:07
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean I have to work a regular job.
33:09
Speaker 1: It just means that I'm building something and so is he.
33:13
Speaker 1: So we're both successful in our own right. And that
33:15
Speaker 1: way we have extra money to make sure our house
33:18
Speaker 1: is paid off. We have extra money to be able
33:20
Speaker 1: to go on trips. When one person is doing everything
33:22
Speaker 1: and another person is not, that's a lot of weight
33:24
Speaker 1: that you put on somebody. And that's what I mean
33:26
Speaker 1: dead weight, But spiritual weight is even worse than dead weight,
33:31
Speaker 1: but it's just as bad. So last thing you want
33:34
Speaker 1: is somebody trying to tell you you ain't good enough.
33:39
Speaker 1: So I'm just like, at the end of the day,
33:44
Speaker 1: you never know how something gonna happen, but just know
33:50
Speaker 1: that it's about maintaining the new version of yourself, maintaining
33:55
Speaker 1: being healthy and being the best version of yourself. And no,
33:58
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be easy. Once you find your path,
34:02
Speaker 1: your purpose, and your journey, once you heal in all
34:05
Speaker 1: aspects fi spiritually, mentally, psychologically, emotionally, physically, internally and externally
34:13
Speaker 1: and the relationships that you have, you will be better.
34:16
Speaker 1: It's not about forgiving people because of them. It's for yourself.
34:22
Speaker 1: Once you relinquish all of that, you will feel so
34:24
Speaker 1: much better. So I'm gonna leave it there, and next
34:29
Speaker 1: week we will continue talking about your self esteeming self
34:34
Speaker 1: worth and self values and you minding your own business
34:38
Speaker 1: and rent about yourself instead of warning about everybody else.
34:41
Speaker 1: So with that being said, I want thank you guys
34:42
Speaker 1: for joining me for this episode. I'm your host. God
34:45
Speaker 1: is Ashameiriyama. I appreciate y'all. I love y'all. Until next time.
34:49
Speaker 1: By guys,