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How do narcissists know YOU KNOW? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how do narcissists know
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  when you figure them out? How do they know when you know
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  who they really are? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So boom, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep.
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  That's the question of the day. Question of the day.
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  How do those pesky narcissistic people know when you figured
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  them out? And what do they do when they
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  know that you know? Like, what do they?
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  What do narcissists do? How do they act?
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  What goes on inside of their minds, inside of our minds when
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  we know that you figured out who we really are, You figured out
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  something about us and whatnot. What's going on there?
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  Before we hop into today's episode, y'all make sure if you
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  haven't check out joining my one of my support groups or taking
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  one of my courses. You can find
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  everything@courses.mentalillness.net. Check it out.
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  You don't want to miss. It's a great group of people
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  helping, helping each other thrive and survive and whatnot.
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  But yes, how do narcissists know?
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  Like how, how, how can they tell?
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  How can they tell if you even if you haven't said anything?
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  So one way they can tell if you tell them, of course, it's the
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  most obvious way. If you tell them or somebody
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  else tells them that you know who they are, that you know what
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  they have going on, that you know what they've been doing
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  behind the scenes, that you know, you know, their, their
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  thought process and how they've actually what, how they actually
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  feel about certain situations and not the image that they've
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  been putting forward. Of course somebody else could
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  tell, like somebody else from the past could expose them to
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  you, right. Somebody like an old ex just
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  sees that. Like you show a picture of let's
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  yeah, which is weird. You know, This is why I don't
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  when people start dating and they find a new Boo and they
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  share a picture of them and they put like a heart over their face
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  or something that they'll share like a loving, caring picture.
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  But it'd be like a heart symbol or some emoji covering their
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  face up so you can't see who they are.
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  And then when you finally do it, guess what happens when you
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  finally reveal who they are? Guess what happens the the exes
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  or somebody reaches out and tells you, hey, why you dating
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  this person? They horrible, they're abusive,
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  they lie, they're cheated. It is they're that you know this
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  what happens. I don't.
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  That's why y'all should expose the person you're dating sooner
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  so that can happen sooner unless you want to be unless, unless
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  you want to live in the blind, right, So they have that can
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  happen. Like you can reveal who you're
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  dating or who you're talking to, who you then snuck off and
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  married, you know, I mean, who you who you're in a situation
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  ship with to one of your friends and family members.
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  And guess what happens? An ex reaches out or one of your
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  friends and family members knows who they are and tells you like
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  this is a line cheating, abusive, you know, manipulative
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  person. They tell like they tell you
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  about your partner. They tell you about who your
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  partner really, really is, right?
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  They tell you about who your spouse is or your boyfriend or
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  whoever it is right here, right? They tell you because that's the
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  simplest, easiest way, right? Somebody exposes them to you.
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  You know, that doesn't take any effort on anybody's part.
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  It's just like, hey, this is who they really are.
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  This is what they've done in the past.
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  Hey, they have domestic violence charges.
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  Everything that they've ever told you is a lie.
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  I don't know why you believe in them, blah, blah, blah, Boo,
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  Boo, Boo. We be be.
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  You see what I'm saying? That happens quite a bit in
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  these situations, in these spaces.
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  It happens so much and that's why I keep telling people like
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  when you're in a situation where you're involved with
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  narcissistic people, toxic people, when they have, when you
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  see what they have going on, this is the mindset that you
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  face. This is the thing that you face
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  right here, that they are and can be abusive as hell.
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  They can be manipulative, they can't be sneaky.
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  And then you get exposed to it another way that they find out
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  another way that they can tell that you know, right.
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  And then of course, you tell them like somebody exposes them
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  to you and then you tell them and that's how they know that
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  you figured them out. That's how they know that you
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  know, But they you know, they can lie, they can manipulate,
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  they can, oh, that's an old version of me.
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  I've changed since then or they lied on me.
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  They crazy, all my answers are crazy.
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  They just jealous of you. They jealous that I'm clapping
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  your cheeks now I'm not clapping them.
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  No MO. They jealous that I'm doing
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  everything that they wanted because I feel better about you.
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  They jealous blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
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  blah. They just lying their asses off,
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  right? They just try to make it seem
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  like everybody else is crazy except for them.
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  Again, y'all something. I believe it because it works.
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  You know they're convincing. You're already you're already in
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  love when you you start to find this type of stuff out Another
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  way, like I said, is that your behaviors telling yourself
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  y'all, how do narcissists know that you figured them out?
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  How do they know when you did it that that you know who they are?
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  Your behaviors, you start acting funny.
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  You can't control it. You find out a deep dark secret
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  and then you'll be, you're like, of course your behavior is going
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  to shift because you don't, you look at the person differently.
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  They can tell you looking at them differently, they can tell
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  you're feeling differently around them.
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  Like they normally walk by and squeeze the cheek or whatever,
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  walk by smack you in the butt or whatever.
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  And you don't do that anymore. And like I said, also that stops
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  or when they do it, you just like instead of just like stop,
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  babe, stop playing. You tense, you tense up, you get
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  cringy. They can tell like what's wrong
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  with you? Oh, nothing, nothing wrong with
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  me. They can tell.
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  Your body language shifts. You don't want to touch them
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  anymore. You don't want to do anything
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  with them anymore. You tell, you tell on you.
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  You tell them that you know who they really are without even
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  opening your mouth, without even exposing them that you know,
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  like if you went through their phone and found out they're
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  cheating on you, right? You know who they are behind the
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  scenes. You know that they're in the
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  they have some kind of they're doing something that that you
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  know that you told them that they couldn't do.
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  Like a boundaries you set from the beginning.
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  Hey, you can't watch Korno. You know what Korno is?
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  Remove the C. You put AP there.
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  Hey, I don't like corn in this house.
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  And they agree to it. But now you go through their
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  phone and you see some you hear some slapping sounds on the
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  phone. It is not the choir in church.
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  You see what I'm saying? You hear some slapping sounds in
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  the phone. It ain't nobody, it ain't people
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  clapping for the preacher. It ain't somebody clapping for
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  the preacher, right? You know what I mean, But it
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  happens. That's one of the things that
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  happens in these spaces in these relationship dynamics.
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  So when they know that you know, like your, your behavior shift
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  like you, you, you don't even tell them y'all, You just start
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  acting differently like you, your face looks different, like
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  you present, your body language is completely different.
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  So they know that you know who they are or what they doing.
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  They what they've been doing behind the scenes.
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  They know because you can't. Your body language can't hide
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  it. Your micro expressions cannot
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  hide it. I'm very good at reading micro
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  expressions. Like look at micro expressions.
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  This can help you figure them out too, though.
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  Yeah, Micro expressions cannot lie like you, unless you are a
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  psychopath. But people, their mouths can
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  lie. They body can lie sometimes, but
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  they micro expressions, the little ticks, they can't.
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  Little ticks. You see what I'm saying?
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  They why you do that, You know what I mean?
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  That's the type of stuff that goes inside of people's heads.
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  Why you act like that, why you do that?
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  Why's it going on? Why's this going on?
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  You know that happens to quite a few people.
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  So what happens when they know that?
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  You know, what happens when they feel it?
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  What happens when they tell? Either they're going to just
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  chat, either they're going to try to chip away and hammer away
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  at you and try to get an answer. What's going on?
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  Why you acting this way? Why you behaving this way?
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  They want you to expose how you know who they are and what
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  they've been doing. They want you to expose it.
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  They want you to expose your source.
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  If somebody told you so they can get cut that person out of your
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  life because if somebody else told you and you tell them, oh,
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  my friend told me about you. They're if you decide to stay
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  with them, you're going to lose a friend.
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  You're going to lose that friend.
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  That friend is going out of your life.
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  You can't have both. You can't have me and this
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  person because I don't trust this person and I don't trust
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  you around this person. This person don't like us
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  together. This person is jealous of us,
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  right? So they're going to try to
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  excommunicate their friends from your life.
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  They're going to try to isolate you from this friend or family
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  member or whoever it is that told you.
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  Somebody at work quit that job. You want us.
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  You want our relationship to work, You need to quit that job.
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  You need to put, you need to put us before that job that happens.
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  So this is something you have to decide.
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  This is something you have to, you have to go through.
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  This is something you have to work on in these spaces right
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  here. Yeah.
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  So they're going to try to get this person out of their life or
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  like I said, they might try to love bomb you.
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  Like if they can tell that you know, right, They just see
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  their, their phone screen is is isn't on the same the lock
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  screen or whatever. They, they can tell that you've
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  been through one of their apps or something like that.
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  They can tell you've been through their pictures or their
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  online browsing or whatever, whatever.
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  However you've discovered them, right?
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  Their journal is, is right side up.
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  They, they normally leave it upside down for a reason.
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  Now it's right side up. They can tell you've been
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  through it, whatever it is, right?
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  They might. Of course.
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  They can get mad and tell at you and they think you figuring them
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  out. They can get angry as hell at
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  you, get mad at you, make you feel bad for going invading
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  their privacy, whatever it is. You know you invading my
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  privacy. I can never trust you again.
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  Rabo, Rabo, Rabo. Can't believe you did this to
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  us. I can't believe you did this to
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  us. You did this to me.
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  You invaded my privacy. I can't trust you.
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  You don't want us to make it. You go.
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  You go looking for stuff. You got to find it.
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  You know they can get mad at you, right?
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  Because you figured them out. They get angry.
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  You bought shame in through their life because you know who
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  they are. This is their secret.
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  This is their shame. They're hidden shame.
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  You know you discovered their shame and you bought it to the
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  surface. So they're going to make you.
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  They're going to get angry at you and try to hold you
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  accountable for their own shame. You know what I'm saying?
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  They're going to try to hold you accountable for their own shame.
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  They're going to do that to you right there.
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  And that happens quite a bit in these toxic, narcissistic
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  relationship dynamics. They're going to try to make you
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  feel bad for holding them accountable for something that
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  they actually have done to you, or it's something that they've
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  actually done behind the scenes that they're ashamed of and they
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  they've been hiding from you, right?
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  They can absolutely get mad at you.
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  Another thing they can do, like I said earlier, they can love
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  mommy. Yeah, they can just try to love,
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  love you, love you out of this type of stuff.
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  You know, you've discovered them.
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  You're anger as hell. Your body language has shifted.
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  Somebody's somebody exposed them to you and they just like you
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  know what we've been you've been wanting to go to Paris since we
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  got married 35 years ago, right? I know I've been promised you to
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  take you to Paris. We haven't went on any trips.
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  We haven't done anything fun for 35 years.
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  But you've been ride, ride or die.
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  I didn't cheated and took other people to Paris.
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  I took, you know, 3-4 different people to Paris.
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  But I haven't taken you my Boo. But guess what?
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  I'm gonna think about taking you to Paris now.
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  I'm really going to consider it. I'm gonna think about it like
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  I'm still angry. I'm still angry at you.
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  Discover me. But I'm gonna think about taking
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  you to Paris like I took everybody else to my affair
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  partners. I'm gonna think about it.
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  I'm really going to think about it now.
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  I'm not even lying to it, but really going to think about it.
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  Or they might actually try to take you to Paris.
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  They might actually try to take you on that trip.
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  Go buy you that purse, go buy you that PlayStation, whatever
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  it is to try to make it up for. You know, I try to love bomb you
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  and start doing things in the bedroom that they haven't done
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  in a long time or things that, you know, they stopped doing or
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  something. Like the crazy thing about this.
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  If you quote your partner, like clap your cheeks to somebody
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  else and they they were in a very particular position that
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  they said they didn't like with you, they're going to do the
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  same thing with you, which is cow, which is mind blowingly
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  wild that people do that. I didn't feel comfortable enough
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  to do that. But you didn't know.
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  We've been married for 10 years. But this stranger I met on, on
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  on TikTok, yeah, I did a split in front of them, whatever it
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  is. Yeah, sorry.
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  Yeah, but there's I go. They were trying to love bomb
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  you and give you like start, start trying to fulfill some of
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  those promises that they've made to you for over an extended
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  period of time. Try to do things that they said
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  that they would do a long time ago, try to become the person
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  that they could have been a long time ago.
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  Now they're now they're doing it because you know who they are
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  now they were trying to throw you off the scent.
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  You know, they're trying to throw you off to say my love
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  bomb you. It's not a real love bomb.
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  I call I call it a love bomb within the relationship to try
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  to make up for something. I call that a love pop.
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  It's like a little pop of love. Not even a full-fledged love
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  bomb, a love pop. Anyway, y'all take up tune into
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  another episode at a hop off this thing.
• 12:09
  My first in person workshop of the year is going to be
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  Washington DC. Washington DC on over September
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  14th. Washington DC 2024 from 12:00 to
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  4:00 PM. The link is in the link to
• 12:24
  register is in the somebody. The top link pee into the
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  comment section and it's going to be in the description of
• 12:29
  every video and podcast that I do.
• 12:31
  I appreciate every single one of y'all so super thankful for
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  every single one of y'all subscribe to this channel if you
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  haven't y'all we're creeping up on half a million, but just
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  insane and I'm this close to get my Facebook back.
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  I can I can taste. I can taste the Facebook.
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  I can taste the meta. I can taste the meta.
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  Anyway, y'all, this is peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I'm extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Helps reach more people and click on the screen to watch
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  another video or to browse to another playlist.
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.