Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / What Does Love Look Like? | a conversation with Lincee Ray

Transcript

What Does Love Look Like? | a conversation with Lincee Ray · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:05
SPEAKER_02: My name is Amy Wicks and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
0:11
SPEAKER_02: All things Enneagram and helping you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
0:18
SPEAKER_02: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: I was alone and without family or community.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: But the Lord, He didn't let me stay there.
0:28
SPEAKER_02: He helped me turn my broken-hearted moment into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
0:37
SPEAKER_02: I share broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plans so you can live a life full of confidence and abundance.
0:46
SPEAKER_02: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal, mixed with a little bit of Enneagram coaching.
0:52
SPEAKER_02: So get to that pile of laundry or hit the treadmill or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
0:58
SPEAKER_02: And be ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
1:11
SPEAKER_02: Hey friends, I'm so glad you're here today.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: This month we are focusing on topics which will inspire us to wholehearted love.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: But if you haven't yet caught up with our three weeks to the whole hearted year, don't worry, it's not too late.
1:24
SPEAKER_02: You don't want to miss that series as I know it's going to set you up for your best year yet.
1:29
SPEAKER_02: And if you've tuned in the last couple of weeks, then you know that I want to hear from you.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: Of course, I want you to subscribe to the podcast and give it a lice on your rating.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: But you can also now leave me a voice message that I can include the answers to your questions in an upcoming episode.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: I'm really excited for you to start using this feature.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to hear from you.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Just use the link in the show notes, which will take you to a page where you can leave your questions about the Instagram, about parenting, or even relationships.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: Now, today's guest is someone I know you're gonna love meeting with.
2:07
SPEAKER_02: That is if you haven't met her already.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: Lindsay Ray is the blogger and author of the infamous blog I hate dreamings.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: And for years, well, at least 11 years that I know of, she has given a recap for the show, America Loves to Hate The Bachelor.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: Before you switch to another episode, because you can't believe that I would have a show about The Bachelor who would just hold your horses.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: Lindsay is incredibly relatable.
2:37
SPEAKER_02: She will make you laugh, blush, nod your head in agreement.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: And she also has this awesome way of making you feel like you're not the only weirdo in this world.
2:48
SPEAKER_02: She's gonna help remind us today how love looks in all different seasons.
2:53
SPEAKER_02: And we're gonna have a fascinating Enneagram conversation.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's one that I'm gonna help Lindsay sort out what she may lead with.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: So as you listen, you may discover that there's more that you would like to know about the Enneagram as well.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: The Enneagram can be overwhelming, and it is sometimes hard to know where to begin.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: This is why I've created my Easy Enneagram resources.
3:17
SPEAKER_02: I want to help you make your journey so much easier.
3:20
SPEAKER_02: If you haven't already, get your easy Enneagram Click guide.
3:24
SPEAKER_02: And I'll give you the link with the easy link for all the resources that you need.
3:29
SPEAKER_02: And then if you want to learn what the Enneagram is, what I can do for you, even what it can be dangerous about the Enneagram.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: My Easy Enneagram 101 video guide is just what you need.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: Just check out easyindeagram.com or of course the links are available in the show notes with all the information.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: Now let's get started with this conversation.
4:01
SPEAKER_02: So lately she's been enjoying showing up as she pleases in the podcast.
4:07
SPEAKER_02: Like whether it's the squeaky toy, all of a sudden I thought I hid and she found it, or she decides girl, and I I can't kennel her because if I kenneled her, then it would just be barking in the other room, you know.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: That's gonna be no good.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: So I hope she does okay.
4:22
SPEAKER_02: But want to meet Miss Lindsay.
4:26
unknown: Hi Hope!
4:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: Did you hear me?
4:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she did, which I don't know how, but that's amazing.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: She's actually super smart, um, which is a problem sometimes because we're like, you know better.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: And she knows when mommy's gotten on podcasts and she wants to world.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: I thought it was my three kids who were, you know, a problem when it came to podcasting.
4:51
SPEAKER_02: Nope.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: No obstacle like a puppy dog.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: My obstacle is the um the lawn guy.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: I think the lawn guy comes every it doesn't matter when, not at the same time, not on the same day if he will come when I'm podcasting every single time.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's but he came yesterday, so that's that's good news.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: That's good news.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: So nothing should bother the rest right now other than thunder.
5:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, bad outside, but I think it's I think it'll be fine.
5:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, we've got snow, like crazy, messy snow.
5:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: Really?
5:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're in the middle of the side.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: I didn't remember the last time I was in snow.
5:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
5:32
SPEAKER_02: So where do you live?
5:34
SPEAKER_02: I live in Houston.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: So you don't hurricanes, different story.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: That is a different story.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Don't remember.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: Don't remember.
5:42
SPEAKER_02: There's a conference that I really want to go to in Houston.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: Excuse me.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's uh the Spark conference for cushion podcasters.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: Have you heard of it by chance?
5:53
SPEAKER_02: I have heard of it, yes.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I haven't ever been, but I've heard great things about it.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's next month.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: Um my friend Ann Watson knows the gal who runs it.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: And I think she and I are actually with the same um literary agent because they both are going to be there as well.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and so and that was another reason I was like, well, I'd love to see Blythe and Stephanie, and then I'd like to meet her because we know each other online.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: Anyway.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: Who's who's your literary agent?
6:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh Blythe Daniel.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: I am in the I am in the market for a new one, not because I I didn't like my other one.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, I my book writing journey, let's call it that, was very um confusing to me.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: And I felt like I no one told me what was going on, not from their standpoint, but from they do this all the time.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: So they know what's next, and they know what's next.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: And it's and it's not that I need to know that, I just sort of felt like I was out there bobbing along.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: So when my second book came out, I thought, oh, I've got this.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: I know what's going on, and it happened to me again.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: So I know it has to do with me, but I wrote a I wrote a fiction book and my and I had it ready to go, and I I gave it to my or called my agent and said, Okay, what are next steps?
7:09
SPEAKER_00: What do we do?
7:09
SPEAKER_00: She said, Well, fiction, fiction romance is really hard to get into.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, well, what do we need to do?
7:15
SPEAKER_00: And she said, I wish you nothing but the best of luck.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh, okay.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: In in her defense, she probably doesn't do fiction romance, but I've also I'm grappling with, do I want to get into mainstream publishing?
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Sure, right.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Not because I don't um I feel like the Christian book market is such a tiny little niche and I I and I don't fit into it.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Gotcha.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: And I I feel like if I do a fiction something and I can because you know, I write a bachelor recap, which is a horrible show, but my whole my whole point is if I can get people to me using the bachelor, I'm gonna slide some Jesus in there.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna, I mean, I even just did a survey on my website and I said, you know, what why do you come to the website bachelor?
8:10
SPEAKER_00: What would you take off the website if you could Jesus?
8:12
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, they're seeing it.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: And then and then a few love people will say, Yeah, I read it.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: And I think, oh, that's interesting.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: And so my whole point is if I can slide it in there.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: So I was hoping to get in mainstream media just to see, but it might and it might be too saturated.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: So my my public my publisher is Rebelle.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and they that um she has already said that my editor over there has already said, if you ever write a fiction book, you tell us.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: And so I I feel like I have that in my back pocket.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, and I do know the fiction world is way different from the non-fiction world.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: But like I said, I don't think they knew what to do with me right because of the the funny component.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't think they they knew where to stick me.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, my my publisher didn't, even though I said, well, where are you sticking Melanie Schenkel?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Where are you sticking Sophie Hudson?
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Where are you sticking those, those type of people, stick me there?
9:11
SPEAKER_00: But they it it never clicked.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: The humor thing, it I don't know, it messed them up somehow.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would say, goodness, go straight to the editor.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: And I mean, you have that open door and you have that relationship and you have the kind of the proof, social proof as well that I think would go really far.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: I I would love to see that.
9:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm I personally too, I'm a fiction writer and a nonfiction writer.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: And I have big dreams of doing both of those.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: Um, and I actually get, I mean, it's just so funny because in the nonfiction, it's just it's just such a different world than I ever envisioned.
9:49
SPEAKER_02: And I really, you know, we're just following these girlhood dreams of writing.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: And oh boy, it's so different than it was in the 80s when we grew up.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I got, I feel like I got in on it in the right time.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: I was doing my blog, but I was I wasn't a mommy blogger because of course I'm not a mom.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I was a TV recapper before TV recapping was cool.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like I I feel like I was I was in that mix with all those people and they went straight from parenting and I went over that way, and no one, no one knows what to do if you don't have a child or a husband, and they don't know where to stick you.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: And I truly believe that.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: They just don't know where to stick you, which is which is I kid you not, on my first book, there's a whole chapter about motherhood.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: And my editor, who's 24, said and married with one child, said, Now, Kelsey, why are you writing about motherhood?
10:46
SPEAKER_00: You're not a mom.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, Kelsey, the book is about insecurity, and I'm pretty insecure about all I've ever wanted to be as a mom, and I'm not.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: So I think a lot of people will be able to feel that with me and understand.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: And she was kind of like, Okay, and she was wanted me to take it out, wanted me to take it out.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: And then the second book, all about love.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're not married, what are you gonna talk about?
11:17
SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, that's the whole book, Kelsey just whiteboard the whole point.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: Come on, hang with me.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: I totally get it, I think it's so smart, actually.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh, we'll see.
11:29
SPEAKER_02: And I am one of those who back in 2000, I want to say probably 2009, came across your blog because admittedly didn't know that.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: So a mom of two little girls, and we moved from Colorado to the Midwest, and we left everything we knew.
11:49
SPEAKER_02: We had no social life, I had no friends, but I had The Bachelor.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: The Bachelor, there you go.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: Bringing people together since 2003.
12:01
SPEAKER_02: Seriously, and and you know, like it was a season of life, and not one that I'm necessarily super proud of, but it was a season and it was it like it got me through.
12:12
SPEAKER_02: And so it's good.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: I can't even remember who or how I found your blog, but I hate green beans.
12:19
SPEAKER_02: That just kind of sticks with you.
12:21
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: My my mom, because you know, she's the reason why I hate green beans, and uh with the first book, everybody was saying, Oh my gosh, did your mom?
12:30
SPEAKER_00: And she just what did she say about the title?
12:33
SPEAKER_00: And I said, She said nothing.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: Mother said, Green beans do help you lose weight.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: It's a fact.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you're telling other people about it.
12:42
SPEAKER_00: I was like, she just it just went right over her head.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: She didn't, or or she didn't care.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's that's another thing.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: She's like, it's true, it's true.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: Did you eat the green beans?
12:51
SPEAKER_00: Did you lose weight?
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I rest my case.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, woman.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's so great.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: It's it's true though.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: It I have had probably a watching party, I don't know, the past 10 years.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: And to this day, every Monday, somebody comes over.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: Somebody comes over.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: At least four people.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: That's and it just makes it, it makes it where you where you all don't feel bad because you're all kind of taking it.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: But it and and as the years have gone by, it's gotten worse and worse and gross and gross and gross.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: As it as it is, but there is a there it is a part of my testimony.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: I will say that it is a part of my testimony where people say, I can't believe you can call yourself a Christian and watch that feel.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: And I combat that with, I get it, but during my divorce, the darkest time of my life, the darkest time of my life that I would not wish on anybody, the bachelor helped me get through that.
13:53
SPEAKER_00: Those early days where I didn't want to get out of the bed, I was in the fetal position, I didn't want to talk to anybody, but that stupid website and they expected some recap.
14:03
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't want to tell all these people what I was going through.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: So every Monday I'd drag and I'd watch it and I'd take some notes and I'd stick it out there.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: And reading the comments of people saying that was so funny.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: I didn't even notice that.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: That's so interesting that you saw that.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this was my favorite line, or these people talking with each other, and I made that community.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: It was like oxygen to me.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: And I always say the Lord took the bachelor and and got me through those initial stages.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I wouldn't have, I wouldn't have done anything.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: I would have, I would have blindly gone to work and come back and and just sat in darkness or something weird like that.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: But it got me through.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm I think that's a great story.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: I think it's so funny.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: And the Lord will use anything.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:50
SPEAKER_02: It is not beyond him to use the bachelor to get people out of a dark place at all.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: And you can always say, you know, when you have younger friends watching you, you go, you know, this isn't real, right?
15:01
SPEAKER_00: You know this is producer driven.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Let's just pause real quick.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: Would we how would we react to this situation?
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we all on the same page.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Great, let's go.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's pause again.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: What just happened here?
15:14
SPEAKER_00: That's not true life.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: We understand that, right?
15:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: You know, watching with me.
15:19
SPEAKER_00: I was like, you get, right?
15:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a good one.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, oh yeah, that's great.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: Social media influencer is a job nowadays.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: But let's look beyond that, shall we?
15:31
SPEAKER_00: Let's look beyond that.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: Because that's to to me, that's what the whole show is now.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think that's a layer of how you get on it.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Because ABC is more than likely taking some sort of cut from all these people who are becoming so popular.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: I am imagining so, because it has catapulted a lot of them into stardom in their own right, whatever that is.
15:53
SPEAKER_02: It's it's crazy.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: I haven't watched it in a really long time because I have young kids.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: But now that my girls are teenagers and they are, you know, asking all the questions about romance and they're aware of the opposite sex and their friends are dating and the social media and the texting and all the other things involved with that.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: You actually point out a really great idea to sit down and watch something along those lines so that way it could spark really good conversation.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: And because it's what is happening in the world, because it's being modeled for us.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: And I think unfortunately, culture follows what they see.
16:32
SPEAKER_02: And so we kind of created this idea of what it looks like, even though it's not real and it's so fake.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Um, people just try to reenact it day in and day out, and then are bitterly disappointed.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, absolutely.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Even even I have friends who will say, All right, let's look at what she's wearing, and why do you think she chose that?
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: And well, she wants the guy to notice her.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and let's talk through that.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Why would she want the guy to notice her physically before her mind or before her love of the Lord?
17:03
SPEAKER_00: That I mean, they go, they go down those paths.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, well, you know, I mean, this is something that is timely and current and popular.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: It's not going away.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, obviously.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: Are you kidding me?
17:16
SPEAKER_00: Four seasons.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: It came out in 2003.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: So therefore they doubled up.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: It's it's season 24 of The Bachelor.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
17:25
SPEAKER_02: And you've gotten to ride this wave.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Didn't I?
17:29
SPEAKER_02: So fun.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: Just keep on riding it.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Just keep on.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: It is fun though.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it helps you.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: 80% of my recap is made up.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: And so it just helps me, you know, keep my creative juices flowing and stuff for my other work that I that I do for entertainment weekly.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: It it helps me write that recap faster because it's a quicker deadline and it's great.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: It's great.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: Well, obviously, this is a little bit of how you got started in your writing career.
17:59
SPEAKER_02: You you start sharing this in a time of brokenness.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: And I I think it's great.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: It's Valentine's Day week.
18:06
SPEAKER_02: I thought your book was gonna be perfect to highlight.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: And I the the story, it's a love story.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: You've really unpacked a bunch of little, you know, kind of little episodes of your life, and a different a bunch of different types of love and um and just kind of your journey of love.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: And I think for all of us, when we we think about our own love story or stories, we also and kind of encompassed and entwined in that is a lot of brokenhearted moments.
18:39
SPEAKER_02: Now you shared yours.
18:40
SPEAKER_02: I mean, one of them being a divorce.
18:42
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I personally that would be such a devastating moment.
18:47
SPEAKER_02: And like you said, I I think I'd probably do the same thing, curl up in a fetal position, and you know, my kids would probably be able to be the only ones to get me up and going in the morning.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: Right.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: For you, what were some of those brokenhearted moments and maybe some of the more light-hearted ones that help led you or help to lead you to a wholehearted decision of wholehearted love and what that looks like in your day, day in and day out now?
19:11
SPEAKER_00: It's it's an interesting, it's an interesting question because I feel like there are 27 different answers.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: And that and that's what the book is all about, about how how we see love differently.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: But whenever I was thinking about what kind of book I wanted to write and what subject I wanted to write about, ironically, I had just come off of a season of Hallmark Christmas movies, which are you know, oh yeah, blessed.
19:37
unknown: Uh-huh.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: And I but I think in I think in 2018, there were 32 brand new Hallmark Christmas movies that came out.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, are you kidding me?
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Incredi the new ones, new ones, not to mention all the old ones from Campus Cameron Beret that they, you know, push on us every season.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: And so I was just coming off of that and going into Megan, Markle, and Prince Harry getting married.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: And we were all obsessed because the American girl literally married the princess and it was a fairy tale.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: And so many of us got up, millions of us got up or stayed up to watch this wedding unfold.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: And as I was sitting there with my mother and my sister and two friends, and we're watching her walk into the and the thing and Harry and oh, his mother and my mother, oh, I watched Princess Diana, and oh, and we're all royalty, royalty and love.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: I just kept thinking, this is this weird that we're all obsessed with this?
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Is this weird that so many people are leaning into this?
20:37
SPEAKER_00: Is it weird that that many people watch Hallmark Christmas movies every single season?
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: And I thought to myself, why do we watch Hallmark Christmas movies every single season?
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Across across the generations.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Across the generations, and now sexes.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: I was about to say, now even husbands are getting into that.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: And everybody says it's the same story all the time.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: And and you're gonna have the little town and the gazebo, and she's gonna be in a red coat, and they're gonna have a spontaneous snowball fight, and there's gonna be sun shining, but it's snowing at the same time.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: We do, and I we love it because we know it ends happily.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: We know we can go in thinking nothing bad's gonna happen, and if it does, it's gonna be for 60 seconds and then it's gonna be resolved, and then we know they're gonna get together in the end.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: And and that's when I thought that is what we are craving in life.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: We are craving that happily ever after, whatever that looks like, whether that is your job becomes happily ever after, your marriage becomes happily ever after, you find the husband and be get your happily ever after, whatever that looks like in life is what we're striving for.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: And so then I kept thinking, I was studying Genesis at the time, and I kept thinking, this has to do with the garden.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: This has to do with the garden and how we are content and happy in the garden until sin separates us from the Lord.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it is normal for all of us to want to fill that void with love, and Hallmark gets us there, and this royal wedding gets us there, and all of this happily ever after gets us there, which is why Walt Disney is so popular with his princess and find the love.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: It's because that's supposed to be there and it's not.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like we're always going to try to find it somewhere in life until we get to heaven and we're with our Lord again.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: And then it'll feel complete.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: So it does make sense if you think of it in that realm.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: Why we are all just drawn in to these movies and why we're all so upset that the romantic comedy from the 80s and 90s that we loved are not here anymore.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Because people our age are saying, no, no, no, no.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: I remember Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock and how they all wanted to find mail and get be asleep or something.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: And they had their best friend's wedding.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Where are those movies?
23:15
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like we're we're kind of finding a little resurgence in that, just a little bit, maybe not on the big screen, but it definitely on streaming networks.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants to do a romantic comedy now.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: And I think it that's part of it too.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: We just we need that hope, I feel like, in the world that we live in today.
23:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we do.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: It is a glimmer of what's to come, and it's a it's a dim reflection of our happy ending in Christ.
23:44
SPEAKER_02: And we can attain part of it here on this side of heaven where we can find that satisfaction.
23:50
SPEAKER_02: We can go to our relationship daily and find the fulfillment.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: But ultimately, um, like you said, until the Lord returns, until it's it's our turn to enter the pearly gates, um we will always have that longing that is a crying to be fulfilled.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's important to remember that because we can get down people like me.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm 44 years old and I'm not married, I'm divorced, I don't have kids.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: I can, it's easy for me to sit in a place of woe is me, and that's not fair.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: And I do, and I I think my feelings are valid.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: I think we all need to feel what we feel.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: The God knows what we're feeling.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: It's not that we need to try to hide it or make it different, it's just that I can't stay in that place.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: If I need to, if I need to sit and be sad and go, man, I really wish life was A, B, and C, I need to end that sentence or that thought with, but it's not.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: And here's what I know is good in my life that the Lord has provided.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: A, B, C, D, E, and go all the way down to Z and name them all because the Lord is sovereign and the Lord is good, and I'm here for a reason.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: So let's live life to the fullest right now I have now.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I think is the the second half of that.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of people listening think, well, I don't have love in my life, and I don't know what I love.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: And I I I've had, like you say, heartbreak, wholehearted heartbreak in my life.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: And what am I supposed to do with that?
25:23
SPEAKER_00: And that's not fair.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: And that's where you get into this refining part of it.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: If I hadn't, if I hadn't gone through my divorce and and and felt as low in that hole as I I was, I wouldn't know what it, I wouldn't know what it means to get out of the hole and know what it's like to have a savior in my life who died on the cross for my sins.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Because everything else shouldn't matter, because that is that is the ultimate sacrifice.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: So whatever that I was going through, I can always look to the cross and find hope.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of what helped me get out of that hole.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: It took a while, and it took a lot of women in my life who know the Lord and who are strong that knew, hey, she needs to be in the fetal position for 23 more minutes, and then we're getting her out, and we're going, we're finding some gummy bears, we're gonna watch friends on Netflix, and then it's be an afternoon of it, and and you know, we're gonna pull her out of that slowly, let her feel it for a little bit because that's important, but we can't stay there.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: Let her stay there.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so good.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: So give us a little picture and a glimpse of how your book, It's a love story, is laid out because I I haven't really read anything like it.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: I thought it was super entertaining.
26:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh, laughed throughout it, it was really fun.
26:38
SPEAKER_02: So I want my friends to kind of get a picture of your thoughts and your process in the book.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: The thoughts and process, it I like to say it's all over the map.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: That makes all the sense in the world.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: Whenever you read it's a love story, you're you're gonna go into it thinking, especially the tagline is From Happily to Ever After.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: You're probably thinking, unless you read the back, oh, look at this cute love story.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: She's got her own and it's gonna be great.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: And you know, the whole book on love is not about love in a romantic sense at all.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: Now, I do have chapters of fictional people who I would marry.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: That's one of my favorite chapters.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: See, thank you.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: I think people would.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: I think people need to know that Wake and Sua from Heart of Dixie is um my fake husband, one of them.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: There's about 17.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: So I it's it's it's a little bit of all of that.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: It's finding love in life, meaning uh there's a whole dance section.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: I love to dance, and that's what I always wanted to do.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: And the Lord kept shutting it down with knee surgeries, just ACL tour, ACL tour, ACL tour.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: By the third one, I thought maybe I'm not supposed to dance.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: I understand now.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: I understand what that is.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: It's a love for uh my niece, and so so I don't have any children, and and I put all that on her.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: It's an interesting love story on um how my parents who have been married for 50 years now, their love story, which transitions into an evolved love story because daddy has dementia now.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: Wow, and I don't mention the word in the book.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's been really sweet, a sweet time after the book came out.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: People are are resonating with that chapter and they're putting what they're going through and assuming that's what my dad is going through.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: So we've I've had people say, I know what it's like to have your father have terminal cancer, I know what it's like for your father to have MS.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: I know what it's like for your father to have Alzheimer's.
28:40
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really sweet of the Lord that that because I made it so vague, and I did that on purpose because my mom asked me to, not because we wanted to keep it a secret, but at the time daddy um was struggling with his diagnosis.
28:57
SPEAKER_00: And so, of course, I gave him the chapters to read because I wanted that blessing from both of them.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: And mom said, I think if you put the word dementia in there, he's gonna kind of shut down and feel bad.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: So I pulled back and made it very generic, and that ended up being, again, so sweet of the Lord to oh yeah, but um it mom is mom in all of us, but because the chapter was about mom and dad, she's having to learn to love him differently because he is sort of not the man she married.
29:28
SPEAKER_00: He is different and he is struggling, and some days he lashes out and he doesn't know, and then and and we're having to learn how to live life differently.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: And I mean she just said the other day, um, a couple of weeks ago, well, this is what marriage is about, because I'm very concerned for her well-being, and I'm concerned for her health, and it because she's not leaving aside.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: Right.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: And um and she said, This is what marriage is, and this does, this is how it is now at 50 years.
29:58
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's just such a strong, bold, sweet, loving answer.
30:03
SPEAKER_00: So the book is about stuff like that too.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: How we how she loved him this way, and now she's loving him this way.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: We're just we're just shifting a little bit, but it's it's very different.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's beautiful.
30:16
SPEAKER_02: I do think that as you read the book, you can put yourself, your own stories in a lot of yours, and you end up identifying whether it was the crush on the babysitter club boy Logan.
30:27
SPEAKER_02: Yes, for real.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: I was such a babysitter club donkey.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you open up with that pretty much right away and was like, oh my gosh.
30:36
SPEAKER_02: I knew I liked her and now I love her.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, and and people make fun of me, but I really, I really, really, really loved this boy that was in a book.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: In a book.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: Kevin helped us all.
30:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I felt the same way about Laurie and little women.
30:53
SPEAKER_00: I thought, Joe is ridiculous.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: I know marry him in a heartbeat.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: What is going on?
30:59
SPEAKER_00: And then the boy that broke my heart, whose name was Miles, but that's not his real name.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm I'm and he's from high school.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, he's so cute, and we were dancing and in the cafetorium, and it was awesome in the 80s.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: And um, I remember my mom reading it, and and she said, Oh, well, I'm not gonna say their names, but you Miles' mother is gonna know this is him, and won't Miles know this is him, and aren't they gonna read the book?
31:22
SPEAKER_00: Never occurred to me.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: Never people would read my book, and I thought, oh my gosh.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: So I'm from the tiny little town, and oh, that's been fun.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: People saying, Oh, is it so and so?
31:35
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't know.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, because how many of them drove a Camaro?
31:42
SPEAKER_00: One right so I was not thinking through.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: I did not think that through.
31:48
SPEAKER_02: I think you put a great disclaimer though ahead of time.
31:51
SPEAKER_02: I I don't remember if it was an introduction or whatever.
31:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, hey, if you think you know who the person is, just keep those thoughts to yourself.
31:58
SPEAKER_02: Move along, people.
31:59
SPEAKER_02: Move along.
31:59
SPEAKER_02: That's all due.
32:01
SPEAKER_02: All right.
32:14
SPEAKER_02: That's all due.
32:15
SPEAKER_02: All right.
32:17
SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, one of the things we love to talk about at Simply Wholehearted is the Enneagram because I think it gives us insight to our path of growth to wholeheartedness, yes, which we're all looking for.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: And it's a daily, it's a daily journey.
32:31
SPEAKER_02: So it is.
32:32
SPEAKER_02: What do you know about the Enneagram?
32:33
SPEAKER_02: Do you know your type?
32:34
SPEAKER_02: I'd love to hear.
32:36
SPEAKER_02: Um, because I think it's really fascinating.
32:38
SPEAKER_02: I was trying to figure it out as I read it and as I've thought about, oh, you know, knowing a little bit of your history and all of that.
32:44
SPEAKER_02: So I'm totally curious.
32:45
SPEAKER_02: You gotta tell us.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: Can you tell me what you think I am and then I tell you what I am?
32:49
SPEAKER_00: That's a fun game.
32:52
SPEAKER_02: It is a fun game.
32:54
SPEAKER_02: I I kind of so I think you said you thought maybe you were a nine.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: But as I as I listen, as I watch your demeanor, I can tell, like, you know, maybe introvertedness is real, but I don't see you as a classic type nine at all.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: I would put you more in the dependent stance or assertive stance.
33:18
SPEAKER_02: And when we talk about stances, the nine is in the with withdrawing stance, and I don't, I don't think you're in the withdrawing stance.
33:25
SPEAKER_02: So that's my humble opinion.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: Here, well, I I love your humble opinion.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: I it it makes sense because I have I struggle with feeling like I'm I'm I'll say I'm a nine wing two, and people are like, that's not a thing.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, that's how I feel I am.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Yes, right.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: But I lead with both my head and my gut.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, you have to pick one.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: I don't feel like it.
33:49
SPEAKER_00: Here's what here's what I think, here's what I think happens.
33:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, I forever thought I was a two because my spiritual gift is service and mercy.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: So going in knowing that and seeing that two is the helper, I just thought, oh, that's what I'm sure that makes sense, yeah.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: And went along life.
34:06
SPEAKER_00: Here's where the record scratched and the wheel squealed.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, wait a minute.
34:13
SPEAKER_00: I was in church and my uh our women's director came up to me and um another girl and said, Hey, would y'all I I teach at our church.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: I teach women at our church.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: And so I've I'm always in, I'm always in front.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: And she said, Hey, would you and my my friend, would y'all be in charge of our women's retreat this year and and teach at the women's retreat, just kind of tag team it.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Yes.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: And the immediate response that followed was this weird dread that came over me because I thought the other girl who teaches with me was not invited to teach.
34:54
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, oh her, oh, she's gonna, she's uh she's gonna feel so terrible because she wasn't asked to teach with me.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: It was this other person.
35:02
SPEAKER_00: She's gonna feel so bad.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: What are we gonna do?
35:04
SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna say?
35:06
SPEAKER_00: All of that happened immediately after I said yes, and I could think nothing but this other girl and her feelings and how awful it was gonna be, and how I was gonna navigate that conversation and how I didn't want to tell her.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: It's not my responsibility to tell her.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: Right.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm not the one who asked to to teach.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: I just felt everything inside of me hurt for her because she wasn't asked.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't even think she wanted to be up there.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if she wanted to be up there.
35:34
SPEAKER_00: But you're thinking for her.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: We are the two teachers, yes.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: We are the two teachers, and in my mind, what is what is fair and right is that the two teachers should be up there.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: And I know her feelings would be hurt, and I know that this was just gonna break her.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, it didn't, and no, but I I remember leaving that conversation saying that was an odd reaction for me to have.
35:57
SPEAKER_00: That's interesting, a very odd reaction.
36:00
SPEAKER_00: So looking more into it, it is the the peacemaker part of it and the lack of conflict part of it, and um the fact that I've I've read, I can't remember where I read, but I feel like they say nines are very tired people because they're having to uh juggle all the things, and they are so adamant about no conflict in my life whatsoever, and I'm going to do this, this, this, this, all these 12 things to not avoid conflict when it would take 30 seconds to just have the conflict and you'd be over.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: Get over it.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, I am a very tired person, and I am, and but then there's this whole anger thing that that's my what is that?
36:42
SPEAKER_00: My anger is my or or sloth is my deadly sin or something.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: But anger Yeah, it's in the triad, right?
36:48
SPEAKER_02: The eight, nine, and one for the gut triad.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: And if you ask me right now, Lindsay, are you an angry person?
36:56
SPEAKER_00: I would say, no, I never get mad at anything.
36:59
SPEAKER_00: And I truly sat, I truly sat and thought, what am I angry about?
37:05
SPEAKER_00: And you could go, um, your divorce, your husband who cheated on you, your mom who made you eat green beetrel.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: And I and I I would think, well, no, but I've dealt with that because I'm a peacemaker, I'm a very forgiving person, and I don't want to rock the boat.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: And so then I thought, am I masking what I call anxiety, but it's really anger?
37:28
SPEAKER_00: And that is something that I'm digging into interesting and and trying to figure out, but I still think I'm a wing too because I show up.
37:37
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's a nine thing, but I show up.
37:40
SPEAKER_00: Are you in danger or need?
37:42
SPEAKER_00: I am there for you.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't know.
37:45
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
37:46
SPEAKER_02: So that's I'm I'm still yeah.
37:49
SPEAKER_02: So you're you're still on the journey, which I I think this is so great when I teach about it as well.
37:53
SPEAKER_02: I normally only get like 40 minutes to an hour, which is not enough time to talk about the Enneagram.
37:58
SPEAKER_02: I do it, but going, hey, you guys, we're gonna barely scratch the surface here.
38:02
SPEAKER_02: So I always say that the goal is not arriving at your dominant Enneagram type.
38:08
SPEAKER_02: That is just the beginning of your journey.
38:10
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes getting to that point is a year or two in process.
38:14
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
38:15
SPEAKER_02: But I would, I would just kind of throw this out there as you talk and just thinking um about some of the words, kind of the clues you've given me along the way.
38:24
SPEAKER_02: I would look into six, the type six, wing seven.
38:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or seven wing six.
38:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, just kind of, you know, let that put that in the rock tumbler, I like to call it, and you know, let it roll around in there, read some things.
38:38
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
38:39
SPEAKER_02: My friend of the 80s, you know what I'm talking about when I say rock tumbler.
38:43
SPEAKER_02: Of course.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: I had one.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: Polished rocks are the best.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: Six.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: Now the six is the loyalist.
38:51
SPEAKER_02: Loyalist, yep, yep.
38:53
SPEAKER_02: But there is a line of connection between both from the six to the nine and the six to the three.
38:59
SPEAKER_02: It makes a fun little triangle, and that's a whole nother conversation.
39:03
SPEAKER_02: But you can exhibit a lot of the characteristic traits of those other ones.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, okay.
39:09
SPEAKER_02: Those lines of connection.
39:10
SPEAKER_02: And so it wouldn't be totally out of the realm of possibility that you would connect with the nine, even if you led as a type six.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: So just something to, you know, think about.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: What are what are indicators that you heard that made you go six?
39:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, a few of the things were the anxiety um that you you mentioned, and so that triad is the five, six, and seven, the head triad.
39:34
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
39:34
SPEAKER_02: Um, there was a few times that you've referenced about thinking.
39:37
SPEAKER_02: You have an ability where you have a lot going on in your imagination, and that's what highlighted the type seven to me.
39:47
SPEAKER_02: And there's a lot going on in there, and the fact that it's it wouldn't be totally crazy that your first thought was about another person in that whole realm of it, wasn't necessarily the peace, but you care very deeply about how other people are impacted, and you are constantly um, as a six, not just thinking about the dangers, physical dangers, but you're thinking about relational dangers.
40:12
SPEAKER_02: And that's really important to you because you you hold you know loyalty in such high esteem.
40:18
SPEAKER_02: You not only give that and offer that to others, but you want others to see that in you, and so you know, that's where you're thinking others first a lot.
40:26
SPEAKER_02: So anyway, so those are some of the things that I'm thinking.
40:30
SPEAKER_02: I am gonna tumble to that rock.
40:32
SPEAKER_00: Seriously.
40:33
SPEAKER_00: After this, I'm gonna tumble that rock.
40:35
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
40:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, anytime you can holler at me, we can do a little coaching session, you know, off the rock, off the mic, off the record.
40:43
SPEAKER_02: I think that was a great conversation about the Enneagram, very unexpected.
40:47
SPEAKER_02: But one of the things that I want to make sure that I think you'd be really good about talking to is that this year I'm on a mission to have more fun.
40:56
SPEAKER_02: But fun is so invaluable.
40:58
SPEAKER_02: It it's I think we were created to celebrate and we just don't do it enough, especially in our Western culture.
41:05
SPEAKER_02: So, what are some ways that we could just show our wholehearted love to our friends, to our families?
41:12
SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, so that way it sticks and then that way we continue to, you know, show these actions of love to others.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: This is something that I did, I every every kind of Christmassy January, I write down, I say goals, resolutions, whatever you want to call them.
41:30
SPEAKER_00: But it's but but it's yeah, it's in it's in categories.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: So I think physically I want to do this, mentally, I want to do this, relationally, I want to do this.
41:39
SPEAKER_00: Career-wise, I want to do this, I want to read this many books.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: I want, and so I always have, and everybody looks at me, go, there ain't no way you're gonna be able to do this.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: I was like, well, it's good.
41:46
SPEAKER_00: It's good to have a list.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: So I one of the things that I wrote down, and I think it is just um because where my dad is in his life, that I said once a week, and I can do this once a week because it takes five seconds.
41:59
SPEAKER_00: Once a week, I'm going to choose not a not a close, close person per se, but somebody who the Lord brings to mind.
42:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna write them a note.
42:09
SPEAKER_00: Not a letter, not this long drawn-out thing.
42:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna take a card and I'm gonna write them a note and tell them why I think they are great and why I love that they're in my life, and I'm gonna mail it in the mail.
42:22
SPEAKER_00: And the reason why I say that is I wrote my dad a letter two times ago when I went home.
42:30
SPEAKER_00: He was very concerned about the outside.
42:33
SPEAKER_00: He was very concerned about the the lawn and the grass and it and it because he can't mow anymore.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: We don't let him mow, and he's very concerned.
42:41
SPEAKER_00: And so I wrote him a letter because I wanted him to know you know, the property looks amazing, it looks great.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: You've done such a good job caring for it all of these years.
42:50
SPEAKER_00: It's it's been a sense of pride for me that people passed the house and and I and I wrote it all down because I wanted him knowing that he's forgetting, he doesn't know who I am, but knowing that he is forgetting, he has that to go back to.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: And mom has said he has he has pulled it out and read it again, like it's the first time he'll notice it in his little area and think, oh, what is this?
43:15
SPEAKER_00: And he'll read it again.
43:16
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: And I like that that is that is something I had a friend, my friend Amy just said the other day, she's switching jobs, so she's changing her email.
43:27
SPEAKER_00: You know, she's getting rid of her work email and going to a Gmail or Yahoo account.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: And she said, I just have this file called keepers, and it was all these emails that you had sent me throughout the years just encouraging me.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: And I just kept them all and it's so neat to read them.
43:40
SPEAKER_00: So twice in in you know, the twice lately people have said that to me, and I thought, we need that.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I think it's cool to get mail nowadays.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: Very well because that makes that take effort, that takes effort to sit down and write it and lick it and stamp it and address it and pop it in the mail or give it to.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: mail man and um it's exciting to get something for no reason there it's not your birthday it's not something I'm thanking you for doing for me the present you gave me or whatever and that is something that I'm trying to I'm trying to consciously listen to what people are interested in or like or or do in their life and I am I am wanting to share that with them I have a friend who likes improv I've never been to an improv thing but hey let's go because I know that's important to that person so I'm gonna try to go do that I'm gonna try to go do that and write these letters I think one a week 52 in the year I think I think it's totally doable.
44:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't love that people yes absolutely that's so doable and I think we should all put that on our to-do list for the rest of the year because what an amazing way to show an I love you.
44:52
SPEAKER_02: I I mean I think we all would love to get that so it just shows what an incredible friend you are incredible daughter way to go thank you way to go I think that's beautiful.
45:02
SPEAKER_02: I've loved this conversation it has been full of goodness I know it's gonna be the perfect thing for my friends to listen to this Valentine's Day week and just remember true love and you know maybe even reminisce some of our love stories that are humorous maybe some that are sad but we've learned from them and we're so much richer and better people because of it.
45:22
SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: It was my pleasure thank you for having me.
45:25
SPEAKER_00: Anytime Lindsay and be sure and come back for one of those coaching sessions for reels yes I will I'm gonna I'm a six who knew I forgot to say your Downton Abbey your Downton Abbey podcast where y'all oh my gosh that was the most fun I've had it was on a road trip to mom and dad's which is four hours away oh my gosh I loved every and I loved it because y'all are doing it first of all second of all because you both got such a big kick out of doing it that is what made me the happiest because you can just hear y'all are like I don't even know if y'all listening but we are having this conversation and it's gonna be great and we're just recording it and I hope you like it too but y'all were y'all were clicking on such a fun level it was a delight to tell you that too so funny.
46:15
SPEAKER_02: So much so fun I love that you listen to that that is truly one of my most favorite episodes I we just I think we should write an Enneagram coast a course for like creatives and writers and screenplay people you know because like if you start looking at it through that that would be such good character development right especially for the fiction I don't know I think it's brilliant.
46:35
SPEAKER_02: Please do please do I'd buy it I would like all these books over here I'm trying to learn how to write I'd buy it yes yes yes well Lindsay and I kept talking and talking but I thought I would go ahead and wrap it up for your sake.
46:59
SPEAKER_02: Isn't she so fun?
47:01
SPEAKER_02: If you are in need of a good laugh and a lighthearted read with some truth makes in that you'll want to add it's a love story to your Amazon card today.
47:11
SPEAKER_02: Next week we're gonna continue our conversation about wholehearted love with Beth McCord.
47:16
SPEAKER_02: And I promise that this time since the conversation is already recorded and practically edited, I know I will have it ready for you.
47:25
SPEAKER_02: We have a great chat about growing in self-awareness and compassion towards ourselves we even have an actionable tip for each Enneagram type plus you get the scoop on her new Enneagram journals for everyone and don't forget my new feature that I have available for you.
47:44
SPEAKER_02: You can call into the Simply Wholehearted podcast or I use quotes to call into the podcast but you can push a little button and leave your message with your questions.
47:54
SPEAKER_02: I would love to do a whole show or even answer a question every week whether it's about the Enneagram, motherhood or relationships.
48:01
SPEAKER_02: There's a link in the show notes that will connect you right away.
48:04
SPEAKER_02: I look forward to hearing those and answering them soon.
48:08
SPEAKER_02: I do hope you enjoyed this episode as you continue this month of wholehearted love.
48:13
SPEAKER_02: It would mean the world to me to have you share this podcast with your girlfriends and leave a rating with a review so others know what to expect and they know that they are welcome to join this community.
48:24
SPEAKER_02: Remember, you can always email or tag simply wholehearted on social media or even send me a direct message if you have questions or you just want to share some encouragement.
48:34
SPEAKER_02: So until next week let's invite others to join us to pursue perspective, purpose and plans for assembly wholehearted life.