Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 107 | Overcoming Shame Around Money: How to Break Free and Achieve Financial Freedom
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: Today we're talking about something that affects more women entrepreneurs than I think you probably realize, and that is money shame.
- 0:10Erin Gray: You know.
- 0:11Erin Gray: It shows up in such quiet ways like avoiding your bank account or undercharging, or telling yourself that you should be further along by now.
- 0:23Erin Gray: That's typically what my brain tells me and I shouldn't say.
- 0:30Erin Gray: Or it could be and right, it could be several of these things.
- 0:31Erin Gray: Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money?
- 0:33Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to your finances.
- 0:36Erin Gray: Welcome to your money, your rules.
- 0:39Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
- 0:47Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
- 0:55Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money and before we dive into this week's episode, I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session.
- 1:05Erin Gray: During this hour, we will work together to understand where you are financially, because understanding and being so clear on where you are is the first step to moving forward right, so you're going to gain more clarity and then begin.
- 1:20Erin Gray: What we will do is we will begin to craft a tailored plan that helps you align with your finances, with what you value most and what feels good for you.
- 1:31Erin Gray: If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and create the freedom and the abundance that you deserve that is your birthright you can go over to my website generatealifewelllivecom and schedule your session.
- 1:46Erin Gray: I'm looking forward to working with you and empowering you even more.
- 1:50Erin Gray: I want you to know that the truth is that shame around money is not a sign that something is wrong with you.
- 1:59Erin Gray: It is a sign that you are in your human brain and not your higher self.
- 2:04Erin Gray: Right Shame, those lower vibration emotions, are not who you truly are right.
- 2:11Erin Gray: We are love, we are light, we are abundance, we are joy, and when those lower vibration emotions come up to the surface, it is coming up to be transcended, to be healed and to be worked through.
- 2:23Erin Gray: So in this episode, I'm going to show you how to shift out of that shame that we might be feeling and it might be something that you're feeling on a consistent basis so that you can reconnect with your power, with who you actually truly are right, and start making clearer, more confident financial decisions without needing to have it all figured out first.
- 2:47Erin Gray: You know, first and foremost, like I say with everything is, it is about awareness, right?
- 2:53Erin Gray: So really naming what is actually going on and money shame.
- 2:57Erin Gray: You know, when I was doing some market research, a lot of women that I was talking to they were sharing the same and similar stories, and when I would tell them that they are not the only woman that has experienced these emotions or think or feel this way, you could immediately see the relief in their face and their shoulders would drop.
- 3:18Erin Gray: And I think this is one of the things I am so passionate about is helping women one empower themselves even more, change their identity, right, who they like return, I shouldn't say when I say change their identity, what I mean is like return to who you actually truly are before.
- 3:34Erin Gray: Everyone told you who you should and shouldn't be.
- 3:37Erin Gray: And one of the things I don't think that we're talking enough about is, like these feelings that we are feeling and we think we're the only ones that are going through this.
- 3:46Erin Gray: And I want to tell you you are not right.
- 3:49Erin Gray: You are one of one bill.
- 3:50Erin Gray: You know 8 billion people in the world and a lot of women feel this way.
- 3:56Erin Gray: So maybe you were told growing up or somewhere along the way, that you were bad with money or you didn't know how to handle money or you weren't good with math, or whatever might have been said to you.
- 4:09Erin Gray: And if you look at what is actually most often underneath that is this feeling of fear, right, fear of being judged, fear of not and I'm air quoting doing it right, fear of failing.
- 4:23Erin Gray: And the first step is to one become aware of what you are actually thinking and feeling.
- 4:30Erin Gray: Right, and stop labeling yourself.
- 4:32Erin Gray: Right, you are not bad with money, you're.
- 4:35Erin Gray: And even if you feel like, oh, I'm not good with math, there's lots of people let's just, even if your brain doesn't even want to agree with, okay, I'm good with math.
- 4:42Erin Gray: Okay, there's lots of people that don't necessarily know all the ins and outs of math and they are million billionaires.
- 4:48Erin Gray: Right, so you are in the process of learning how to manage your money with clarity, with confidence.
- 4:55Erin Gray: Right, this is a skillset and skills develop over time.
- 5:00Erin Gray: Right, we didn't know how to ride a bike initially.
- 5:02Erin Gray: We use training wheels.
- 5:03Erin Gray: Right, and so one learning how to be kind to yourself when you notice that those harsh words start to show up, when your brain is giving you that, you know, throwing those thoughts at you and also changing, going back to returning to who.
- 5:21Erin Gray: You are right, who is the woman who feels confident, who is clear with her money, and moving from that space.
- 5:30Erin Gray: So start to detach your worth from your numbers.
- 5:34Erin Gray: You know, in a world where we have been taught that the external world is what creates us thinking and feeling about ourselves, which is the complete opposite, your revenue does not define your value.
- 5:48Erin Gray: I say this all the time.
- 5:50Erin Gray: You know your worth, your lovability, your deservedness.
- 5:55Erin Gray: It is not in your bank account and it does not equal your bank account.
- 6:00Erin Gray: You know, we start to feel shame when we let these external things, like our income, our expenses or even debt that we might have, shape our identity instead of deciding what, who we are, deciding what our identity is and then creating from that space.
- 6:19Erin Gray: You are not your financial results.
- 6:22Erin Gray: You are worthy, you are deserving and you are lovable, just because you exist.
- 6:26Erin Gray: Now your wealth consciousness might be at a different level, right, and that is something that we can change and work on, but your numbers don't represent who you are.
- 6:37Erin Gray: They represent what you believe to be true, like your perception about you and your relationship with money and there is a big difference there.
- 6:46Erin Gray: So I want to invite you to get into the numbers without the drama.
- 6:52Erin Gray: One of the things that I do when I sit down initially with clients is we actually get down to the numbers.
- 6:57Erin Gray: Right, let me look at your financial plan, or let me look at your expenses with you.
- 7:01Erin Gray: Let me look at your, your income with you.
- 7:03Erin Gray: You know both from a business and when I say expenses, you know from your business and from your personal standpoint.
- 7:08Erin Gray: Like, let's look at all of your income and your investments.
- 7:11Erin Gray: Like let's actually dive into where you are, and a lot of times, what we think in our head versus what is actually happening is so different.
- 7:22Erin Gray: Right, our brains paint this picture versus when we actually find out.
- 7:27Erin Gray: On paper we're doing such a good job, so giving yourself credit, and so, if you have been avoiding your finances, this is your permission to look at them without judgment.
- 7:38Erin Gray: Really start to cultivate the emotion of curiosity.
- 7:43Erin Gray: You know, with my clients, one of the things I really encourage you to do is to have consistent money dates.
- 7:49Erin Gray: You know, setting up this time to spend with you and your money, even if it's just 15 minutes to log in to look around at your bank accounts, to look at your PNL, to look at your expenses and really get reacquainted with your numbers so that you can really become one.
- 8:11Erin Gray: It's an opportunity for you to feel gratitude for where you are, for you to practice the emotion of having right and feeling feeling grateful for what you have generated, for the way that you have been circulating your money.
- 8:27Erin Gray: And if a money date feels, ooh, I don't feel like I want to go on a date with money, if that feels too strong, can you just have a meeting with money initially.
- 8:37Erin Gray: Right, you can even change the word from I had to in the beginning change the word from money to currency because money was sometimes a little bit triggering in my body right, so say it's something else.
- 8:49Erin Gray: You can even change the currency, right, and say it's something else to show that your body, that you feel safe and that you feel secure.
- 8:56Erin Gray: Right, because a lot of times when what I've noticed with women this was true for myself is I didn't feel safe with money.
- 9:03Erin Gray: So if we don't feel safe with money, then we aren't going to want to sit down with it.
- 9:09Erin Gray: Right, but the more that we do it, the more that we cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves and with money.
- 9:16Erin Gray: The more that we are supportive and that we are nurturing and nourishing to ourselves and our money, the easier it gets.
- 9:25Erin Gray: So the goal isn't try, you know, isn't to just like try to fix everything in one sitting.
- 9:30Erin Gray: The goal is to stop letting the fear dictate your relationship with money and whatever your bank account is currently, it is because of your past thoughts, right.
- 9:41Erin Gray: Your beliefs about your identity in the past, right.
- 9:46Erin Gray: When you think about how do we create, how do we manifest, it is from our current thinking is what we create in the future.
- 9:53Erin Gray: So when you look at your bank account, when you look at where you are financially, that is coming from your past thinking.
- 10:01Erin Gray: So you can get curious what in my current you know what, excuse me what in my past thinking, what were my beliefs around money that created this and what do I want to start thinking and believing about myself, who I am as an individual, and also about my money.
- 10:20Erin Gray: So what's one financial decision that you want to make this week?
- 10:26Erin Gray: To own and, to you know, have your own back and to feel more empowered, right, you don't have to come in and overhaul everything, and maybe for some of you.
- 10:36Erin Gray: It might just be.
- 10:37Erin Gray: I'm going to just look at my bank accounts.
- 10:38Erin Gray: I'm going to look at my PNL.
- 10:40Erin Gray: I'm going to see where I am.
- 10:42Erin Gray: I'm going to appreciate my money.
- 10:43Erin Gray: Maybe that is your exercise for this week.
- 10:46Erin Gray: If you have been doing this work, if you have been looking at your accounts on a consistent basis, then, okay, what's the next step?
- 10:52Erin Gray: Right?
- 10:52Erin Gray: Who is the woman that takes care of her money, that looks at it, that grows it?
- 10:57Erin Gray: How does she think, feel and act?
- 11:01Erin Gray: What does she do?
- 11:02Erin Gray: So what's one decision that you wanna make?
- 11:05Erin Gray: Maybe it's setting up a tax account so you're prepped and ready when it comes time for taxes.
- 11:10Erin Gray: Maybe it's looking at your P&L and seeing, like, does everything that I currently spend money on and circulate?
- 11:18Erin Gray: Is that still in alignment with what I want?
- 11:21Erin Gray: Taking action is how we create everything in our life.
- 11:24Erin Gray: So the more that we are in the energy of taking action, we also are building up that confidence that we have because we are taking care of our money, because we are looking at it from a place of curiosity, without shame, and we are creating more confidence within us and how we handle our money.
- 11:46Erin Gray: So, to recap one name the feelings that you're feeling in your body right.
- 11:52Erin Gray: What is really going on, really starting to detach your worth from your numbers, who you are, your worth, your lovability, your deservedness.
- 12:02Erin Gray: It is inherent.
- 12:05Erin Gray: It is not, it is not negotiable, it has nothing to do with any external number.
- 12:10Erin Gray: Really getting into the numbers right, without the drama, getting into curiosity, understanding where you are financially and then looking at what is one decision that I want to make.
- 12:25Erin Gray: You know, if you think about acting from that end game, place right the woman who already feels so successful, the woman who already has what she wants.
- 12:36Erin Gray: What decision would she be making?
- 12:38Erin Gray: And make one of those decisions.
- 12:42Erin Gray: And before we go, I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session.
- 12:47Erin Gray: I want to say you don't need to work with anybody, but I will say it's a lot more fun when you get to work on your money with someone that empowers you, that is walking along beside you, that is asking you really reflective questions and that is seeing in you what you may not see in yourself yet.
- 13:08Erin Gray: During this hour, we are going to work together to look at where you are financially, talk about your goals, your values and create a really tailored plan for you that helps you align with your finances.
- 13:24Erin Gray: If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and really create more ease, more flow, more trust, more freedom and abundance that you deserve that you, that it is your right to have, I invite you to go to my website, generatealifewelllivedcom and schedule your session.
- 13:45Erin Gray: Thank you for being here today.
- 13:48Erin Gray: Decide that you are confident, right, who you are when you ask yourself I am.
- 13:54Erin Gray: I want you to.
- 13:56Erin Gray: I want you to get to the place where you say I am confident, I am powerful, I am highly successful, I'm highly resourceful.
- 14:04Erin Gray: Right, go, make one powerful money decision and keep showing up like the CEO that you are.
- 14:10Erin Gray: I'm rooting for you.
- 14:11Erin Gray: I'll see you in the next episode.
- 14:13Erin Gray: I would love it if you would leave a review for this podcast.
- 14:16Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
- 14:19Erin Gray: And if this episode resonated with you and you have a business bestie who is also avoiding her money, will you share this episode with her?
- 14:28Erin Gray: My mission is to help more female entrepreneurs feel safe and empowered with their money.
- 14:33Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.