Latest / Shallow Nights: Scary Bedtime Stories / From Horror to Hope: A Tale of Unyielding Spirit and Radical Transformation

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From Horror to Hope: A Tale of Unyielding Spirit and Radical Transformation · Shallow Nights: Scary Bedtime Stories

0:24
Hope. Hope is what I now know to be
0:27
none but a necessary falsehood told to oneself in order to
0:32
maximize their efficiency before their death.
0:36
But what happens when you drain someone of all that hope?
0:39
What happens to one who has had every single drop of hope sucked
0:43
from them? On first glance it may seem like
0:48
a form of a death, but without hope, something else is created.
0:52
Potential. Potential for destruction.
0:56
Or if you give power to 1. Without hope, they will destroy
1:00
without hesitation. As you see, it is hope that is
1:04
the destroyer. This is my story and my
1:09
manifesto. I have found purpose, Slytherin.
1:14
Beneath my skin is the poisonous, repulsive seeds of
1:17
revenge, like maggots festering within the exposed flesh of what
1:22
was thought to be dead but is now standing back up.
1:26
Standing back up with a red tainted lust for pain.
1:31
Well, I suppose if this is to tell my story, I should start
1:36
from the beginning. My name was Elizabeth.
1:40
I am currently 18 years old, and I've spent my entire life in a
1:44
living hell. I grew up in a secluded home,
1:48
seemingly in a rural area. How secluded is hard to tell
1:53
since I was rarely allowed out of the house.
1:57
Visitors will come over on occasion.
1:59
I think I can count maybe 5 different people though.
2:03
We'll get to them later on I suppose.
2:06
I had no brothers, no sisters, just a mom and a dad.
2:11
My dad was a sociopathic abuser from hell.
2:14
I speak figuratively of course, but such wording does not even
2:18
begin to convey the torture he put me through, almost as a sick
2:22
joke. He didn't enter my life until I
2:25
was 7 or so. By that point I was well
2:28
adjusted. Happy little girl, not a care in
2:30
the world. I'll never forget the first day
2:34
my mother introduced me to him. I was extremely excited, I was
2:39
finally going to have a father. We had a fireplace which as the
2:43
night came we decided to light as we occasionally did.
2:48
Father said I want to give you something to show you.
2:52
I want to give you something to show that you're my daughter
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now. I walked over excited but
2:58
confused as he was sticking something into the fire.
3:01
He pulled it out and it was a makeshift brand.
3:05
He told me to put my hand down on his lap and stuck it to the
3:09
back of my hand as I screamed. And after that day, he continued
3:14
to abuse me in every way you could possibly think of.
3:19
Along with the standard beatings and verbal abuse, he would do
3:23
more creative things. He would put bleach in my bath,
3:28
put out cigarettes on my wrists, force me to slit my own wrists,
3:32
or RIP my fingernails off an arbitrary number of times, as
3:36
well as being made to take shots of gasoline.
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I'm not certain how much of that a normal person could take, but
3:44
my body is anything but normal. Sometimes we'd take a trip.
3:49
We'd go out into the woods and he'd tie me to a tree stump,
3:52
usually water board me or something similar, and then
3:55
leave me there overnight to be crawled on by bugs before coming
3:59
back in the morning. And almost every single night
4:03
he'd come into my room and wow, you can probably guess.
4:09
Anyways, moving on from that imagery.
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My mother on the other hand, was the complete opposite.
4:15
She was loving, caring and affectionate and always trying
4:18
to comfort me. She would always tell me that we
4:21
needed my dad. I never understood why.
4:25
She was very vague and every time I asked her if he heard I'd
4:29
be in trouble for something. So I stopped asking very
4:32
quickly. She was always trying to keep me
4:35
somewhat sane. She'd buy me movies, play video
4:38
games with me, taught me how to play piano, how to read, and
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obviously, as you see me now, how to type on a computer,
4:47
detached from the Internet, anything she could to make me
4:50
happy. The only rule was that I never
4:53
spoke I'll of my father. She was a picturesque, almost
4:58
unrealistically perfect mother. When talking to me, she never so
5:03
much as raised her voice, and yet she allowed me to be abused
5:06
so horribly it made no sense to me.
5:11
She was like a St. comfortably in the presence of a devil,
5:15
except for one thing. Every day at 12:00 PM sharp,
5:19
she'd bring out my lunch. A plate of still living worms.
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This also started when I was seven days after my father
5:28
arrived. She would serve them with a
5:31
smile, the same way most parents would try to get a child to eat
5:34
their vegetables. She acted like these worms were
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just something I needed to eat and that they were good for me.
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If I dropped any on the floor, she would politely pick them
5:44
back up and put them on the plate, even if they fell out of
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my mouth. Usually accompanied with a
5:50
little giggle, acting like I was just a silly, clumsy girl and it
5:55
was all normal. But I refused to eat it.
5:59
She'd leave the room and my father would enter after only
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two weeks. With few exceptions so brought
6:05
on by emotionally snapping, I never refused the worms.
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I just wanted my lunch to be between me and my mother.
6:14
I wanted to learn to somehow like it, but it was just
6:17
impossible. And the other thing I tried so
6:21
hard to avoid was throwing up. If I threw up, my mother would
6:26
leave again and my father would burst in and make me lick it up
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like I wasn't allowed to miss one single bite of those
6:32
disgusting worms. To make matters worse, lunch
6:37
quickly became the only meal I got.
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The only thing is, I never got sick.
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You'd think I'd be dead within a week being served living worms,
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but no I wasn't. That being said though, I didn't
6:53
get sick. I felt something that to this
6:56
day I don't know if it is how it should work.
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I felt the worms crawling in my stomach, crawling around, biting
7:03
my insides. I would cry and cry non-stop.
7:07
My mother would say I know it hurts but it will get better I
7:11
promise. But it never did.
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Every time I felt like I was getting used to it, they'd
7:17
increased the number of worms. They'd get bigger.
7:21
By the time I was 17, I was being fed by the tub.
7:25
But I'm getting far ahead of myself.
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I often felt bad for the worms. They were creatures too, after
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all. Before all this started, I had
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seen them in the now banned backyard.
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I'd always admired how they just went about their life, not
7:41
bothering anyone. Life went on like this.
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I was homeschooled by my mother, of course, though sometimes my
7:49
father would sit in with us and punish me for mistakes.
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In addition to the misery, my life had become cripplingly
7:56
monotonous. The only variety in my life was
8:00
what new games my mother would bring and what new torture
8:03
methods would my father put me through.
8:06
I mentioned in grand words before the nature of hope.
8:09
At that time, I thought I felt hopeless.
8:12
I felt hopeless that my mother would never leave this lunatic.
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I felt hopeless about my future as I had only learned of the
8:20
outside world through stories. I felt hopeless that I would
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never get to stop eating worms and go back to the sweets of my
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younger years. But that was only the dawn of
8:32
hopelessness. The few breakups from this
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monotony were occasional visits from family friends.
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Three were my father's friends who just came to assault me in a
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group, which should be a surprise to nobody at this
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point. The others were strange, the
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first another kid, a boy around my age to play games with, and a
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hypnotist. The kids name was Andy.
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The first time we met I had just turned 11.
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He was a fun, excitable boy and a fantastic playmate.
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He was a bit of an airhead in all honesty.
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In fact, I think he may have had some sort of memory issue.
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He often forgot the things we did in our previous time we met
9:14
up and he was extremely unobservant.
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I was always having to remind him of things.
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That being said, he always remembered me and the things I
9:24
enjoyed, which was, well, endearing to say the least,
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especially as we both got older. We even kissed a few times in
9:33
our teens, which meant a lot to me.
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I guess young love always does. I never told him about my
9:42
father. I was scared most of all that me
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telling him would result in him getting hurt.
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Thinking about it now, I miss him so much.
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I want to hear his voice so badly.
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He was so innocent, so sweet, so untainted by the hopelessness of
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my horrible life. Sometimes I would be too broken
10:02
to speak when he came over, just in sheer shock, and he would be
10:07
so patient and sweet, yet he never caught on that something
10:11
was seriously, seriously wrong. I got to see him around once a
10:16
week. I feel it helped keep me human
10:19
for the time being, maybe a bit more so than it was intended to.
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As for the hypnotist, I have nothing to say about her.
10:27
She'd come over once every two weeks, sit me down, wave
10:31
something. I'd fall asleep, I'd wake up,
10:34
she was gone. Her role is minimal and
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ultimately unimportant, but worth mentioning for the future.
10:41
So that was my life. It continued in all of its
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horrific repetition for years upon years.
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I was constantly being pushed between full on insanity and
10:51
some genuine moments of joy. My mother and Andy must have
10:56
been the very greatest at cheering me up to have kept me
10:59
from fully being broken for so long.
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But that was all until I did what I'm sure many of you are
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pondering the absence of. I attempted to run away, well at
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least in part, when I made my first and only real attempt.
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I was 17 around a year ago. The doors were always locked and
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required a key to open both to get in and out, and only my dad
11:25
had the key. We had windows, but I found that
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they were seemingly bulletproof, though I had not attempted to
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break them that many times when I was 13 or so.
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I had attempted to break them before, not so much a full on
11:40
plan to escape, but more out of frustration when I did so.
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Not only did I fail, but I received the worst punishment I
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had in my entire life, one too disturbing to burden you with.
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So I knew when I was truly going to attempt to escape.
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I wasn't going to mess around. Father seemingly did not expect
12:02
it whatsoever. I hadn't even expressed interest
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in it. They thought my spirits were
12:07
fully broken, but not yet. I had mentioned before how my
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father would take me on trips into the forest.
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I decided that when we got out there, I was going to do
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something drastic. He drove me there.
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In a normal car, I'd be placed in the passenger seat, typically
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being made to wear a dress with no pockets, as well as typically
12:29
no sleeves to minimize the chance of me doing anything.
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I had managed to get some matches that were left out by
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accident after a particularly painful torture session and a
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balloon from a game I played with Andy which I managed to
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fill with some gasoline that was carelessly left when I was being
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forced to drink it. Bear in mind these took years to
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collect. When you have only one goal for
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your entire life, the things you can do are incredible.
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I made a bit of a bold decision and placed the balloon only very
13:02
slightly filled in my mouth and I painfully wedged that match,
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which I had to break in half in between my right thumbs nail,
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keeping the red part just out of my nail.
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It was painful and slightly hard to conceal, but nothing compared
13:17
to what I've been through. I had actually acquired several
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matches that once a while back and so I was able to experiment
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with lighting them. I found out that with these
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particular matches, if I wedge the front of the match in
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between one of my smaller fingernails and then squeezed it
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with another nail and pulled hard, it would light.
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It was not uncommon for me to go fully mute for hours on end,
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even days at a time. I had pretended to go mute for
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hours before I was taken to the woods.
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While they were so used to it he didn't even care.
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Clueless, I had a balloon in my mouth build to just the right
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size I could hide. As we approached his spot in the
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woods, I began to RIP and tear at my thumbnail yet again, not
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uncommon for me. I made vague noises and squirmed
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in place a bit to give the appearance of a panic attack.
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What I was really doing was ripping my thumbnail off and
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using some leverage against some objects in the car did so
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easily. Tears fell down my eyes as
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adrenaline ran through me so desensitized to myself harm.
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He didn't even pay notice as he got out of the car, bringing the
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keys with him to grab his rope as he did.
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I did my trick to like the match and it worked.
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I now held a lit match in my left hand and spat out the
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balloon into my right. I smashed it against the door
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and lit it on fire. To my amazement, it worked.
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Father ran over, thinking it was a suicide attempt, not realizing
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his door was now unlocked. He ran over to mine to open it
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and I made a dash, moving uncomfortably over to the
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driver's seat and ran outside. He was in the largest panic I'd
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ever seen him in. He was hesitant to run after me
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for fear of the car burning down.
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If it was destroyed, who knows what would happen.
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He ultimately opened the door and was able to put it out
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quickly. Not that I know how he did it as
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I wasn't looking back for even a second.
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My goal was to run as far and as fast as I could.
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It didn't take long for him to chase after me.
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I ran and ran and ran, crying, choking back screams.
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For a few glorious minutes, I thought I'd done it.
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I'd made it. Then I was tackled to the
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ground. He was right on top of me, venom
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in his words, punching me in the legs and grinding my face
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against the ground. After a few seconds of
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excruciating pain, I blacked out.
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Then began the last phase of my destruction of hope.
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I woke up in an unfamiliar place.
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It was almost like a dungeon, like a small cell, black
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concrete walls, no windows, just one metal door to few lamps
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around out of touch from me. I had a shackle around my neck,
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attached directly to the wall, a chain around 7 feet long.
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I woke up in silence for a few hours until the door opened.
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Both father and mother walked in and to my shock, her mother was
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crying. Despite always trying to comfort
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me, she never cried. She was always comforting, warm
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even when she knew I was in pain.
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Not necessarily a good thing as it came across as very
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dishonest, but it made this moment shocking.
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She cried. Liz, why did you do this?
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We were getting close, I didn't think we'd need to do it this
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way. I cried as well in pure shock.
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What are you talking about? What's going to happen?
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Please, can we go back to the house?
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I'm sorry, Mom, Dad, I'm sorry. It's too late, Father said.
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He grabbed my mom by the arm and threw her to the ground and
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mounted on his back, he pulled out a large fire axe.
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I screamed louder than I ever had before.
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I knew what was going to happen. I begged.
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I pleaded, but he paid no mind. He began to hack at her body,
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chopping off limbs from her legs to her head with a morbid
17:32
precision, keeping her alive as long as possible.
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And for the first time, my perfect mother berated me.
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All you had to do was stay, you useless bitch.
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As she took her last of breath. Her ability to speak through
17:50
pain is rivaled only by mine, confusing me even more.
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I stared in disbelief. The woman who had spent her
17:58
whole life keeping me sane dismembered in front of me.
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All I was left with now was my father.
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Hope had been destroyed. Well, almost.
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The only thought I had left resembling positivity was that
18:14
someday I could meet Andy again. I formulated fantasies.
18:19
Outlandish fantasies the FBI could bust in and save me, and I
18:24
can live with him as he's the only person I know.
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He could somehow have found my location and let me out.
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Fantasies upon fantasies that I've constantly retreated to
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though I struggled hard to even suspend my disbelief for those
18:38
obvious works of fiction. More and more as days pass, but
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these were the only thoughts I could retreat to as it was the
18:47
only source of positivity I had that wasn't dismembered in front
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of me. His torture got even worse and
18:56
the worms. The worms had elevated to an
18:59
insane degree. Buckets upon buckets of worms I
19:03
was forced to eat every day, yet I remained bone thin.
19:08
I wasn't throwing up anymore, in fact I didn't even dislike it
19:12
anymore. He would bring out the worms and
19:15
I would feast with a vigor, eating, eating and eating.
19:19
It was infinitely less painful than everything else, and at
19:23
least it was some kind of sustenance, something I got to
19:27
do, some sort of stimulus other than humiliation and agony.
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That feeling of them squirming in my stomach became the closest
19:35
thing to pleasure I had outside of my fantasies.
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I had no water, I didn't defecate, I didn't gain weight,
19:43
I didn't lose weight. I didn't feel hungry nor full
19:46
after finishing, but in the moment of eating it, and for
19:51
those minutes of squirming inside of my stomach, I felt
19:54
something, anything. Then one day, a familiar face
20:00
opened the door. The hypnotist.
20:03
At this particular hour I'd gone mute again, laying on the ground
20:07
with nothing to do. I looked up at her for a moment
20:11
and as I did, she stepped forward and with only a snap of
20:14
her fingers I was asleep. I woke up an unknowable period
20:18
of time later and found something most questionable.
20:22
A bunch of worms somehow attached together in the shape
20:25
of a cylinder with a candle in the shape of the number 18 on
20:29
the top of it lit. It took me a few minutes to
20:33
realize what it was. It was a birthday cake,
20:36
something I hadn't seen in 11 years, only made of worms.
20:41
Father stepped in, clapping sarcastically.
20:44
Happy birthday Elizabeth, you're an adult now.
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I didn't respond, feeling nothing but dread.
20:52
He pushed the worms closer to me and removed the candle.
20:55
Eat up. He said, some strange level of
20:58
bitterness and excitement in his voice.
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I ate as I normally do, finishing it very quickly as it
21:06
was so much less than he had been given me.
21:09
Now it's time for your present. He said, stepping forward behind
21:14
him. A man, hell if I know who,
21:17
dragged a cart with various items on it towards me.
21:21
They took the things off of the cart with me, now realizing it
21:25
is a table with shackles attached.
21:28
They detached the shackles from my neck and lifted me onto the
21:31
table, strapping me down my neck, arms and legs strapped
21:36
down entirely to the point I was fully immobile, and in addition,
21:41
a piece I had no good view of was placed over my head, making
21:46
it impossible for me to even slightly move it.
21:49
Father then picked up one of the objects off of the ground.
21:53
A drill, you know. You sure that beautiful face
21:56
your mother had? He spouted halfway through,
22:00
cackling in a monotone. I didn't say a word.
22:04
Well now I'm going to give you a new face.
22:08
He turned on the drill as I began to scream.
22:11
I was used to, I was used to horrible torture, but he had
22:15
always found some way to make things non permanent.
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This time he didn't care. He then began to drill into my
22:22
face, my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, my chin.
22:27
He tore me apart on occasion, spraying an anomalous gas on my
22:32
face that I don't care to find the origin of.
22:36
My mind went blank as my head was literally torn into.
22:41
That was until I realized something.
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All of those fantasies, escaping, seeing Andy,
22:48
everything. He was destroying it.
22:52
A suspension of disbelief, A pathetic hope wasn't going to
22:56
survive this. Assuming I survived this, Which
23:00
knowing his ability to keep me alive all along, I figured
23:04
somehow I would. I was to be hideous.
23:08
It was something I didn't even realize I cared about, but I
23:11
did. After what felt like hours, he
23:14
was done. All I could see was my own blood
23:17
and then felt bandages cover my head before being ripped off
23:20
again. Hearing a light it doesn't
23:23
matter mumbled beneath father's breath.
23:27
I didn't fall unconscious. I hadn't from pain since being
23:31
taken there. I laid there feeling so cold and
23:35
dead. All the sudden I heard the drill
23:38
start up again away from me. Then all of a sudden I felt a
23:42
sharp pain where I didn't expect it, drilling inside of me
23:46
seemingly indiscriminately. He had mutilated my genitals.
23:53
I think the hypnotist found that my only remaining font thoughts
23:57
were of Andy and so they well took away any hope of being with
24:03
anyone. It seemed like such overkill,
24:06
doesn't it? I knew he was perverted so I
24:08
guess I wasn't surprised, but in actual reality I didn't believe
24:13
I was ever escaping. I had accepted this as my fate,
24:17
so why? Why did he feel the need to do
24:20
this to me? Well, after I'd like to say
24:23
maybe an hour or so. It's hard for me to say as I am
24:28
highly detached from a sense of time.
24:30
I went limp, fully, completely limp.
24:34
I was not dead, I was not asleep, I was not unconscious, I
24:39
was just limp. Father left the room, me still
24:43
on the table, seemingly not even bothering to do anything to stop
24:47
me from dying from the wounds he had just inflicted.
24:50
But I think in his head, if I didn't survive, it was all
24:53
futile anyways. I remain limp and unmoving in
24:58
any way. My eyes were open.
25:00
I stopped a blinking. I'm certain I should be dead,
25:04
but I was awake. I wasn't eating the worms
25:06
anymore. The next day he brought out the
25:09
buckets. I didn't respond.
25:11
I laid there and laid there. He smacked me around, took an
25:16
ice pick to my ribs, checked my pulse.
25:19
I was alive, but I did not move. You see, when you remove all
25:24
hope, any hope, you become nothing.
25:28
Many times in your life you will find that you feel no hope, but
25:32
this is incorrect the majority of the time.
25:36
You do have some, some buried deep in your most obscured
25:39
subconscious. No matter where you are, there
25:43
is some hope, some even if irrational hope within you.
25:49
But not me. I was gone, No hope left.
25:54
Even my furthest fantasies had died.
25:56
I laid limp, wondering why I would not die, why I wouldn't
26:00
fall asleep, why nothing was happening.
26:04
All the sudden, I saw something move in front of me.
26:07
I didn't move at all, not even my eyes.
26:10
But I saw none other than ATV being drawn before me.
26:14
And what began playing almost seemed pointless.
26:18
Holocaust footage, as well as reenactments, snuff films,
26:22
videos of girls being raped, violent statistics from places
26:25
around the World, News stories. I didn't know why it was
26:29
happening, and I didn't care. A long time passed when I heard
26:34
a voice. A voice in my head.
26:37
Curiously, I'd never heard this before.
26:40
You'd think with the isolation and insanity I experienced, that
26:44
would have happened years ago, but it never had.
26:48
Now, however, I heard a voice in my head that was not my own.
26:53
Elizabeth. The voice called.
26:55
I made no mental or verbal response.
26:59
The time is now, Elizabeth. I'm here to set you free.
27:03
It is time. It is time.
27:06
It is time. I am you and you are me.
27:10
Move, Elizabeth. Move.
27:12
Stand up. Eat the worms.
27:15
Eat the worms. Eat yourself.
27:17
Eat the land. Eat your God.
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You are a monster. You are a creature.
27:22
Get up. Stand up, Break the chains.
27:25
It is time. Revenge, Elizabeth.
27:28
Revenge, Elizabeth. It pounded in my head.
27:33
The voice went from one voice to a chorus of voices, from dozens,
27:37
the hundreds to thousands of voices.
27:40
So then I listened. I moved a muscle for the first
27:44
time since my disfigurement, and the shackles shattered in a
27:48
second. I limped over to the worms.
27:50
All dead now. I unhinged my jaw and swallowed
27:53
it all as if it were something I always knew how to do. 3 buckets
27:58
gone in seconds. I saw the door open and standing
28:03
before me was my father. My God.
28:06
He gasped, A terrified grin on his face.
28:10
My daughter, What did it, yo? It began to continue the moment
28:15
I heard him call me his daughter.
28:16
I snapped beyond any reasonable measure.
28:20
I felt the worms pulse through my veins as out of pure
28:23
instincts, my arms stretched out further and further and further.
28:27
My skin stretched thin, as if I was not gaining any additional
28:31
skin or muscle, but instead it was being stretched like rubber.
28:35
And as my arms got thinner and thinner and longer and longer, I
28:40
saw the unnatural shapes of worms, thousands of worms
28:43
squirming around as it stretched out.
28:47
I grabbed his face and ripped it open clean in half.
28:52
My arms turn to normal, still with the beating feeling of
28:55
worms moving around under my skin, a feeling that turned from
28:59
shock to discomfort to a sheer, sheer sheer sheer, sheer
29:05
unbelievable feeling of power. I walked over to the dead body
29:11
of my abuser, thinking about what to do.
29:14
For a second I shuddered, realizing I missed my
29:17
opportunity to torture him back. But then it hit me.
29:23
Those movies, they showed me the Holocaust, those statistics,
29:27
people being tortured, all of it.
29:30
I'm not alone, am I? This world is full of people
29:33
like my father, abusers who take pleasure in the harm of others.
29:39
This world is full of people like mother, people who claim to
29:42
have your best interests in mind.
29:44
You turn a blind eye to your suffering.
29:48
After coming to this realization, my mind still
29:51
racing, I took a step out of the door for the first time.
29:56
And that's when I saw him. Andy, in pieces, pinned to the
30:01
wall. This world is full of people
30:05
like Andy, blissful innocence waiting to be killed by the
30:09
predators. And this world is full of people
30:13
like Elizabeth, victims that are harmed with no hope to live.
30:18
Hope is a lie we tell ourselves, A lie so strong I had to be
30:22
disfigured to realize it was false.
30:26
It was then I noticed worms spilling from my abuser's head,
30:31
spilling all around in the hundreds.
30:34
The worms, they are what humanity should be.
30:38
They prey on none. They live, they die.
30:42
I'm to turn the world to worms. Worms do not have hope.
30:46
Worms do not need it. They do not aspire, and so they
30:50
do not destroy. I am to be the hawk, the
30:53
predator. I shall force you underground.
30:56
I shall force you to cooperate. I shall turn this world to my
30:59
victims, equally and indiscriminately.
31:03
I have not become what I hated. I've come to eradicate all that
31:07
I hated. Tonight, I March on the world of
31:11
the unknowing. I will find out where I am in
31:14
the world. I will find the most populated
31:17
locations. I will find the leaders of this
31:19
world. I shall turn them to worms.
31:23
I shall RIP them open and let my creatures myself fester where
31:27
they stood. Let these be your last days of
31:32
hope. The last hope you have left is
31:34
that I can be killed. And we'll see about that.
31:38
It is time to end the reign of man.
31:41
And now know why my mother fed me worms.