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Relationship Hypnosis to Be Serious About Standards and Playful in the Process · The Hypnotist

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  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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  genuine. Issues.
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  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
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  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, it's Adam here now. This is a hypnosis session that
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  was created for a client that wanted to be in a relationship.
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  They were single and they wanted to be in a relationship and not
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  any relationship. They had quite a clear idea of
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  certain standards that they would need to really exist
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  within the relationship and the dynamic and their partner in
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  order for it to be something they would actually want.
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  And I think that's really important.
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  That's not a shallow thing. That's not a negative thing
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  because actually nobody would want to be in a relationship
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  where they're settling that they feel resentful or they feel like
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  this is the best they can do. So having high standards is
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  really, really important. But this particular client had
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  felt that they've got into a state where it was becoming a
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  bit of a chore to find someone, and that how they came across in
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  like dates and conversations were a bit standoffish.
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  And therefore they were reducing the very probability of
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  connecting with someone that did meet their criteria.
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  There's two key elements of that.
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  Where do you find someone that meets the kind of high standards
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  that you have have? And then how do they get to see
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  the very best version of you, where you get to explore whether
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  or not they're the right fit for you in this synergistic way
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  without it seeing something like a job interview?
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  So this is at its very core about being serious about
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  standards and playful about the pursuit.
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  And that's a very, very powerful combination.
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  Imagine the opposite, someone that is kind of non serious
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  about their standards, they'll take anyone but very serious in
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  the whole process of finding that person.
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  That would just be a very odd dynamic.
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  So being serious about the standards, immovable with the
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  standards, what your standards are, you do not detract from
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  those standards, but playful about how you find out about
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  that. And the interesting thing is, is
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  that if you are genuinely curious and and playful in your
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  communication, people want to talk about themselves, they'll
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  open up and you get to decide if when you get to know that person
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  better, if they kind of fit with the kind of person that you
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  would want to be with. Now, I appreciate there's lots
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  of different relationships. Some people are looking for a
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  life partner. Some people are looking for
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  something for now. Other people are looking for
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  hookups. It doesn't really matter what
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  kind of relationship that you're looking about.
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  Standards are standards and they're your standards.
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  They're no one else. No one else gets to decide what
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  is attractive and what isn't. That's for you, but you increase
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  the probability if it feels fun to kind of interact and kind of
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  find someone new, particularly if you're single and want to be
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  in a relationship. So if any of those connect and
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  resonate with you, you might get some value from this session.
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  It was created for an individual.
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  Some of their criteria probably won't be your criteria and vice
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  versa. So if you do like the idea of a
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  bespoke session created for you, there will be links in the show
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  notes where you can take a suitability test, watch a
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  webinar about how hypnosis can help when lots of other things
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  can't, and various other resources too.
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  So check out the description for lots of free resources.
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  For now, though, I'd encourage you to find a quiet, comfortable
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  place where you won't be distracted or disturbed.
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  Relax. And enjoy the session.
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  Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, breathe in that
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  resourceful feeling of calm and relaxation.
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  And as you exhale, feel a wonderful sense of release, as
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  if any tension, stress, or worries are gently leaving your
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  body in your outward breath. That's it, Breathing and
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  relaxation and exhaling tension. And just scan your body for any
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  clues of tension, maybe in your jaw, your neck, your shoulders.
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  That's it. Focus on those tiny muscles in
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  your forehead. And as you breathe in, just
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  allow yourself to breathe in deeper and longer.
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  And as you exhale, give permission to really release.
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  Just feeling like any frustrations, any resentment,
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  any feelings of burden, heaviness, just allow them to
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  gradually, incrementally leave your body in that outward
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  breath. That's it.
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  And the deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you feel.
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  And the more relaxed you feel, the deeper you breathe.
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  Each breath takes you deeper and deeper, relaxed.
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  And as your body relaxes, your imagination awakens.
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  And I want you to imagine a wardrobe.
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  A wardrobe perhaps, where you live right now.
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  And I want you to imagine this wardrobe is like a Narnia
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  wardrobe, except when you walk through the wardrobe, it doesn't
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  take you to Narnia, it takes you to Rio in Brazil.
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  And just keep your physical body there As you allow your
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  imagination to think of that wardrobe.
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  Imagine opening the doors of that wardrobe.
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  And as you walk through, just imagine the clothes keep on
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  going. And as you continue walking
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  through and past the clothes, suddenly you appear.
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  You appear there on the promenade of Copacabana in Rio.
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  And I want you to imagine you're wearing exactly the clothes you
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  would want to wear there in Rio. Maybe you could imagine sunshine
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  and blue skies. Maybe you could imagine hearing
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  the large waves crash there on the shore.
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  Maybe there's the sound of other people on the beach, maybe
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  playing volleyball or football, maybe just laughing and joking
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  there on the beach. And I want you to imagine
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  walking barefoot on the sand, the Long Beach that leads to the
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  sea. And I wonder if you could
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  imagine what it would feel like to place a big blanket there on
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  the sand and just imagine lying there on the blanket on the
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  sandy beach under the sunshine. And I want you to connect with a
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  feeling of connectedness, what it would feel like to really be
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  at peace, to think of a time when you thought of this.
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  And now you're living this. Connect with the idea that you
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  can fulfil your wishes. You did it here, and you can do
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  it in different areas of your life too, as you lie there on
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  the blanket. I'm going to countdown from
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  12:50 and I want you to imagine what it would feel like to drift
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  off into a dreamlike sleep where each descending number takes you
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  deeper and deeper. Relaxed 10.
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  Eyelids getting heavier that's it 9 Breathing and relaxation,
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  exhaling tension, your jaw loosening 8 That's it.
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  Your neck and your shoulders just feeling more and more
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  relaxed that's it 7. Just feel your arms getting
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  limp, loose and heavy, almost like your arms.
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  The arms were puppet with no strings.
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  Seven becomes 6 and now focus inside.
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  Imagine your lungs relaxing, your stomach relaxing.
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  That's it. Your heart relaxing, your gut
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  relaxing. All of your insides are
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  relaxing. Any anxiety or tension there in
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  the gut just disappears as six becomes 5 now deep into the gut,
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  feel how relaxed it could be. That's it. 4 going down into
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  your legs, top of your legs feeling limp, loose and heavy
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  down into your calf muscles. 3 And then two, just feel your
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  arms and your legs all limp and loose there on the beach, on the
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  blanket. And then one, just feel a ripple
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  of relaxation all the way from your toes to the top of your
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  head, all the way back down to the tips of your fingers,
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  drifting off into a dreamlike sleep.
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  And in that dreamlike sleep, I want you to think of a memory.
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  Perhaps a memory many years ago. Maybe it was a relationship that
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  came to an end, or maybe it was a time where you were settling,
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  compromising too much. Maybe it was a date that didn't
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  lead to a second date. But when you can think of a
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  memory like that in your past, let me know by nodding your
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  head. And I want you to drift back to
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  that moment, to a point not long after, when you were on your
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  own. Remember where you were living
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  back then. Maybe you remember a bedroom or
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  a lounge, Just a private area. And I want you to meet that
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  younger version of yourself and just listen.
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  Hear their frustrations, hear their sadness, hear their harsh
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  criticism of themself. And now, being you from the
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  future, with all of your wisdom, you can see that some of what
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  they're criticizing themself about had nothing to do with
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  them. They're just misinterpreting
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  preference or circumstance or situation with a personal
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  defect. And correct them.
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  Let them know that this was not about them, and just listen.
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  Ask them what they want in a relationship and when they tell
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  you all of those things on their criteria.
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  Keep probing. And what else?
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  And what's more important and what's really important, Because
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  sometimes we sell ourself on a story and sell ourself on that
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  story for so long, we start believing that story to be true.
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  But as you communicate with that younger version of you play
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  detective, figure out what that younger version of you really
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  wants in a relationship. Maybe it's more than you think.
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  Maybe it's different to what you've been thinking.
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  I want you to ask that younger version of them, would they be
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  willing to dial down their standards to compromise just to
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  be in a relationship if it meant that being in that relationship
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  could risk having the real relationship that they wanted?
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  If that younger version of you is not willing to compromise on
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  their standards, let me know by nodding your head and I want you
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  to give some wisdom to that younger version of you.
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  Tell them that they can have high standards and they could be
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  serious about those standards. Tell them they don't need to be
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  serious about how they find the person that meets those
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  standards. Ask them what they think to the
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  idea of being serious about their standards and playful
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  about the process and if they're willing to adopt that change.
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  Let me know by nodding your head.
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  Reassure them being serious about the standards means never
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  compromising holding their standards of discernment to even
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  higher levels. But they can be playful about
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  how they figure out if those standards can be met.
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  They don't need to vet. They don't need to interview or
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  grill, they can just ask playful, curious questions and
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  then interpret whether those standards can be met from words,
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  but more importantly, actions and behaviours.
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  That when people show you who they are, you can believe them.
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  I want you to ask that younger version of you, if they're
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  willing to maintain those high standards, to never play small
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  and never settle, and if they're willing to never lower the
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  standards but be flexible in finding the person that meets
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  them, Let me know by nodding your head.
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  That's it. And just give one final bit of
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  wisdom. Tell that younger version of you
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  that if things don't work out, it's because they weren't meant
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  to be. It doesn't have to be personal,
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  doesn't need deep reflection, criticism, and that doesn't mean
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  that there can't be things that can be learned or refined.
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  It just doesn't have to mean that that if they choose to be
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  better, choose to learn, choose to be more interested, more
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  engaging, that's just a bonus. It's just not a requirement.
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  And as you see this younger version of you integrating this
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  wisdom you now have back in that point in time, feel a ripple
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  through space and time all the way to the present, almost like
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  you're taking your own advice and feel that you've lived with
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  that advice for it to become second nature.
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  Now I want you to give a gift to that younger version of you,
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  something that you would have wanted back then.
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  An emotional resource, maybe belief, worthiness, maybe
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  permission, playfulness. Give it to that younger version
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  of you as a glowing ball of energy and see them take it,
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  embrace it, hold it to their heart and absorb those wonderful
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  resources and feel those resources ripple through space
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  and time into your present. Like you've had this resource
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  for a long time, but that younger version of you also had
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  something that you've lost. And I want you to think of the
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  quality you had back then that you would love to have in more
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  abundance now, and see that younger version of you give you
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  that as the gift. Whatever resource you had more
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  in the past than you have now, take it, hold it to your chest,
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  absorb that resource and feel it integrating within you.
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  Give that younger version of you a hug, and then float forward
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  into a future. Float one year into the future
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  from the present, this time as an observer.
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  I want you to see see a romantic evening that you're having one
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  year from now with the relationship that you're in.
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  Maybe it's a meal, maybe it's a special occasion.
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  I want you to see how you smile, how relaxed and happy you seem
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  and look, and I want you to see the qualities, but not the face
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  of the person you're with in that future.
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  Maybe it's someone strong, intelligent, capable, stable.
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  Allow your imagination to show you how they have those
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  qualities. Maybe they're successful, maybe
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  there's clues to the success. I want you to see synergy.
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  I want you to imagine a glowing circle of all the things that
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  you value in a relationship going around you like you're in
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  the centre of that circumference.
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  And then imagine the person you're with also has a glowing
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  circle of all the things they look for in a relationship.
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  And I want you to see how these two glowing circles overlap.
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  Because that's what it is when the things that you are and have
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  and offer are the same things that someone else desires and
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  who they happen to be and are and have are what you desire.
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  That is the ingredients of a relationship based on synergy.
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  Each of you benefits from the company of the other.
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  Both lives are enriched. Both lives are enhanced.
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  Each of you is able to make the other happier than they could be
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  alone. And if you can see that future,
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  your life enhanced, their life enhanced, let me know by nodding
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  your head. That's it.
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  And then just imagine you're able to see the key steps that
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  it took to make that relationship happen.
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  Go all the way back in time to how they first saw you.
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  Maybe someone you work with, maybe someone in your gym or
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  your walking route. Maybe you're someone on a dating
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  app or in a club. Maybe it was somewhere that you
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  weren't expecting, like a supermarket.
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  And then just see how that chance encounter or initial
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  contact led to questions, conversations.
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  Notice how playful they were. You were gathering all the
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  information you needed, but not in a serious way.
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  No rushing to have that first date, but see that when there
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  was a first date, you were excited for it, hopeful for it,
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  and see the energy, the personality, the version of you
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  that you presented on that first date.
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  Serious about your standards, playful about the process, and
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  notice how easily you were able to discern whether or not they
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  had what you were looking for. And once you knew you could be
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  interested as well as interesting.
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  Curious to learn more about them.
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  See how you were proactive, thoughtful, but also enabled
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  them to demonstrate the effort and intention.
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  See, you knew you could evaluate, you mattered to them.
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  See, the ripple effect of 1 date leads to another What you paid
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  attention to, the value you created for them, the value they
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  created for you. And see how in this process
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  there were no expectations, only appreciations.
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  You appreciated when things felt good, A good conversation, a
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  nice compliment effort was made, perhaps a gift.
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  No expecting it, just appreciating it.
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  And see the lightness of energy of that version of you.
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  And then see how something that started off as a casual
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  conversation became dating, became an exclusive
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  relationship. Allow your imagination to give
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  you a road map, not of certainty, but of increased
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  probability, knowing that at any point in time, if you thought
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  that this had run its course, this was no longer something you
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  desired. See yourself with the confidence
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  to end it if you choose to, to give you the time, energy and
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  emotion to pursue something that would give you that potential
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  return. And then Fast forward and see,
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  see yourself in that committed exclusive relationship with that
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  stable, secure person of integrity and authenticity.
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  I want you to get a sense then, this is not a probability or
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  even a possibility, that when you allow yourself to be fully
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  yourself with your high standards and playful process,
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  what you truly desire is inevitable.
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  It's just a matter of time. And as you hold that thought,
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  imagine floating all the way back to that blanket on the
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  beach there in Rio. Imagine getting up off the
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  blanket, walking to the ocean, feeling the water on your feet,
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  and feeling that your levels of optimism and belief that you can
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  attract what you truly desire is now a certainty within you.
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  You feel worthy and deserving of love, connection, and a
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  relationship that meets your high standards.
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  And as you accept those beliefs to be true, it's time to leave
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  this place. So take a deep breath in through
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  your nose and out through your nose.
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  Just wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate
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  into the here and the now. As I now count from 1:00 to
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  10:00 to awaken you starting to count 123 waking up 456, more
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  alert 7-8 open your eyes. Open your eyes 910 Wide awake,
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  Wide awake. Wide awake.
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  Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of The
• 30:01
  Hypnotist. If you've enjoyed this episode
• 30:04
  or got some value from it, please give it a five star
• 30:08
  rating and review. And maybe you know someone that
• 30:11
  would also benefit from this particular episode, in which
• 30:15
  case share the episode with them so they can also get the benefit
• 30:19
  too. And if you would like to listen
• 30:22
  to this episode where it's just the hypnosis, so no intro, no
• 30:27
  outro, no explanation, just the hypnosis and completely ad free,
• 30:32
  there will be a link in the description where you can
• 30:35
  subscribe at a very low cost and only get access to the hypnosis
• 30:40
  O if that's of interest, please check that out.
• 30:43
  Thank you again for being a regular listener of The
• 30:46
  Hypnotist and I'll see you again soon for more.