Latest / Complex Kids, Simple Solutions / Episode 58- The Hidden Benefits of Homeschooling for Special Needs Kids Nobody Talks About
Transcript
- Michelle Choairy: Welcome to Complex Kids Simple Solutions, the podcast for parents raising complex and neurodivergent kids who are doing their best in systems that don't always make things easy. I'm Michelle Shoeidi, founder of Special Education Concierge, a mom to a complex kid, a speaker, and an advocate. This space isn't about perfection. It's about real life, the hard days, the small wins. The moments where you wonder if you're doing enough, and the moments where you realize you are. Here we talk honestly, share practical insight, and simplify what feels overwhelming. One conversation at a time, you are your child's hero. Hello everyone, welcome to Complex Kids Simple Solutions. We're so excited to have Caitlin Deville here with us. And she is the very first of this genre for us to have here. And we're going to talk a little bit about homeschooling. So welcome Caitlin. Katelyn Deville: Hey, thank you for having me. Michelle Choairy: Sure. All right. So it's kind of fun to have somebody here for homeschooling because I'll be honest, like that is something that I would never do myself. Like I just, just, I remember how it was during COVID and how much appreciation I had for teachers. But there is a big trend happening of people wanting to homeschool. And I see parts of it of what would be a reason to do it. But also on the special needs side, like I want to ask you and kind of pick your brain about this. let's start, let's just jump right into it. Cause I think that one of the things that we need to look at is How can a parent actually tell the difference between like, is this a bad school experience that we're going through or is this really like, are we doing, are we making these decisions based on the school experience or are we making this decision because this is something that we really truly feel like it's the best for the kid? Katelyn Deville: So a lot of times for most families, it starts with just a feeling of like something's not quite sitting right with a school situation. And it's perfectly acceptable to just like sit with that for a moment and just think about that and kind of let yourself regulate before you make that decision. And then... One of the first things I do with parents on our consultation is we talk about like, is do you want to homeschool? So if you want to homeschool, then we can look at how do we make this the best situation? It's easy for a family if they get burned by a school system to just say we're gonna homeschool because there's nothing else. But if you get burned by a school situation then you realize like, okay, homeschool could fit for us and we want to. Like if there's a desire, then it can be a good fit and it probably is a good fit if there's just a desire. to want to. Michelle Choairy: Okay, now, you know, our audience, they're usually, they're special needs, right? So here are the kiddos, here are the moms who are the complex kiddos, moms and dads. And so, you know, one of the things that we always talk about, and especially for me as an advocate, is that when you're homeschooling, there's only a few things that you can get from the school district, right, as services. And so because it, of a from school to school. What need to be prepared to all? you need to think about when you are making decisions. Katelyn Deville: Yeah, so depending on your child's needs, you've got to see what is available in your area. So if you have therapies and such that are not connected to school, a lot of times home school does end up being a good thing because you can work around the time. So recently I had a talked to me, her child has autism and she's nonverbal and but she's supposed to start school in August but she said I'm really thinking about homeschool because ABA is working and we want to continue with that. but we also want her to have schooling and education, but we want to provide that. So there are resources available for families of students with special needs. So one of the things I do is look at logistics with a family. Like what is in your area? What can you connect with? what resources do you need? Like we're not reinventing the wheel, like what therapies are working and how can we make sure you still have access to those? Because with, with special needs students and really with any student, but with special needs students, it's no one size fits all situation. So we're really looking at like what is already working and then what maybe isn't working so much and what resources can you find. A lot of times it's not capabilities, it's not abilities or anything like that. It's just finding the right tool and getting you plugged in with the right people. to make your schooling situation work when it comes to homeschool. Michelle Choairy: Okay, so you're going to have to explain this a little bit more to me because I am completely I don't know anything about homeschooling because I've never had the interest in doing this. I work full time. So, you know, this was never like even cross my mind as an option. But for the people who are like me, can you explain kind of how homeschool works? Because I think that you have to get you have to get a homeschooling program. Right? Tell us a little bit about that. Because I just so I understand, not just as a special needs child, but for any children. How does it work? Katelyn Deville: Sure, so every state has requirements for homeschooling as far as how to register. My state particularly, I'm in Louisiana, we have two pathways. can have, like you can like register with the state and that way you can, like your diploma is recognized as you graduating high school. or a pathway that is not state accredited. a lot of states have multiple pathways, just depending on what you want. In Louisiana, a lot of the moms I talk to, a lot of them go the unaccredited pathway until high school, and then they switch over to the other one. But one of the things I do is we look at like your state website. I'm not a lawyer, so we make sure you have those resources from the legal standpoint. we... look at what pathway your state has. Some states have scholarships available for those who homeschool. I think Texas may have just started that to help you on your education journey that way. So once we get the legal compliance either way, we've got to look at curriculum. So curriculum is anything you learn. There are so many curriculums out there and as a curriculum specialist I hope you cut through all of that curriculum noise because curriculums are one-size-fits-all. They're just a tool. There are some really good ones out there, but if you don't know how to use it then it doesn't matter. like don't give me a hammer or a saw like I might Michelle Choairy: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Katelyn Deville: I might be missing a finger by the end of it. But my husband can just build like a whole closet insert for our daughter. Michelle Choairy: Mm-hmm. Katelyn Deville: It's so it's just a matter of learning to use those tools. We format those tools to your family and we look at budget. We look at what your needs are. There are curriculums out there for secular curriculums. If you want a Christian curriculum, pretty much whatever you want. There even a lot of free curriculums and then some people choose not to even use like a printed curriculum. Michelle Choairy: the tools. Katelyn Deville: and just decide to go more of like a life method. You know, take cooking for example, like you've got, you can have all of the subjects rolled into just making dinner, like. Michelle Choairy: Interesting, yeah, yeah. So these curriculums, you know, so for example, my son is in a special day class and they use a certain curriculum and a program. So they use PCI and they also use ULS. So these are curriculums and programs that they're using throughout the school to teach my son. He's in sixth grade and he's still learning how to read and write. So he's just not learning. Okay. And the curriculum has really made a difference. So for our special needs mom, can you use these modified curriculums also? Is this something that you have to go pursue, get trained on and learn how to use? Katelyn Deville: So with the curriculums, you can get a curriculum. You don't have to be a trained teacher. And that's what I work with families on is. Getting them the knowledge and the skill set that they need specifically for their child because when you go into a university program and I was in the public school system for 10 years of master's in education and They train you on how to look at like learning as a whole But when you really learn to teach is when you get in the classroom with actual Michelle Choairy: Mm-hmm. Katelyn Deville: humans and you learn how to teach the actual humans in your classroom. Parents already know the humans living in their house better than anyone, so it's just a matter of getting like the actual tools that you need to teach the people in your house. So if there's a curriculum that meets a certain need, then that can be a really great place to start and from there Michelle Choairy: Mm-hmm. Katelyn Deville: we look at like how do we format it specifically for your child. So like if they have a certain trouble with a certain part of the curriculum, how do we troubleshoot that so that we can give them access to the whole curriculum. Michelle Choairy: Yeah, so let's, you know, I have a friend who homeschooled all of her four kids. And when I think about that, it gives me the anxiety in my heart, just like, it is just starts, you know, pumping and I'm like, I have no idea how she's done it. She was a school principal, she was a teacher for many years. And so, you know, she has the ability, I guess, to do that. But when you throw in a special needs child, okay, that has all the other things that are attached to schooling, right? ABA you touched on. Let's talk about speech and occupational therapy and physical therapy, whatever it is. Like, and then you just add all of that to the day, right? Like, what are some of the... What do you teach the parents to be able to, one, be able to do it, two, be able to do it without burning out, and three, without that complete overwhelm that can be when you are trying to homeschool a child that has ADHD, that has issues that they really don't want to be taught at all, right? How do you get around that? Katelyn Deville: Sure, so when you're in a traditional school setting, you are bound by the amount of minutes that you have to be. basically, they even call it seat time. Like in a seat, have to be like, information has to be in front of you. When you're homeschooling, we're not recreating school at home. You don't have to spend six hours a day. And then we can build in as many like sensory breaks that we need. We can look at how your child specifically learns and you can... Michelle Choairy: Mm-hmm. Katelyn Deville: you can work with them exactly where they are. lot of it is, like, interspace goes a long way. So if you have a child with ADHD who hyperfocuses on a certain topic, well, we are going to use that topic to access the learning. That is how we get the learning into their brain, because they're just using that. Michelle Choairy: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Katelyn Deville: hyper-focus on what their brain wants to grab. Well, the learning's folded into that. So like, we look at how they learn, what they want to learn, and then go from there. Michelle Choairy: Yeah So, okay, so you have you know the the homeschooling and you have the school Let's talk about let's I don't know if you can even answer this but how much time do you spend in the home school? versus the school like can you Separate like can you give me how much time each one of them are spending in learning and what the difference is Katelyn Deville: So I, over the course of my education experience, I have tutored kids one-on-one. And what I find in a homeschool setting versus a tutor setting is you, with one-on-one, there is zero dead time. or if you're even with multiple children. There's no dead time. In a classroom, you're having to wait for everyone to grab onto the concept. at home with just your kids, you're going at their speed. We're not like having to rush and get the curriculum or make sure everybody's written their answer down or giving everybody time to think. So if you have a 55 minute lesson, well really... We've got about 10 minutes kind of with the teacher at the front and then the rest is for students to be able to work with the material. But when you're at home, you go at their pace. like if they only need 20 minutes to master a concept, well, there you go. It's 20 minutes to master a concept. So everything counts in learning with homeschool. You're not worrying about... Michelle Choairy: then yeah got it Katelyn Deville: know, teachers have to teach to the standardized test. Like you don't have to do that at home school. So like learning counts differently. I'm not sure if that answers the question, but like in a public school setting, you have to count minutes. At home, you're more looking at like, is the child like mastering concept, the concept, whatever I think they need to learn. Michelle Choairy: know, it's interesting because it's. you do get that one-to-one and you're something so much faster than you would with other kids around you. And it's true, I think it's true for anybody and anything that you do, right? Anything that is privately done, you're gonna learn a little bit easier and faster usually. Now, when You know, one of the things, so I am an advocate, as you can see, and you know, one of the things that advocates do is we help IEPs. So if a child has an IEP and the parent decides to homeschool, how do you integrate the IEP into the homeschooling? Katelyn Deville: So with IEPs, it's a legal binding document to make sure they're getting all of their services. So really, it's less of a legal requirement and more of what actually Michelle Choairy: and then. Katelyn Deville: is going to assist the child learning. It's a custom education. So like the whole thing is an individualized education plan. So IAPs work really well with that because you just fold that into your school day, whatever those requirements are for your child to learn. Michelle Choairy: Yeah. Yeah, so I don't know if the parents who are listening know this, but if your child has an IEP and you decide to pull the child from the school to home school, you will most likely lose those services or a ticket to that IEP. for example, you just pull the child who has 33 times a week, Let that go so you can teach at home. So you're basically taking your child's education into your own hands. Caitlin and you can correct along the parents who are homeschooling special needs children are not very high is that correct Katelyn Deville: Yes, but that number is on the rise as with all of homeschool numbers are on the rise more people are starting to like pull inward for education. Michelle Choairy: That's it. Yeah. Now I have to ask because I come from an era like of, you I mean, I was, you know, popular in high school. I, you know, I had, I was a ballerina. And this was all in Brazil. I went to school in Brazil. It was not a public school. It was a private school, but it was a school. I went to school every day, right? and I developed that interaction with other people. I had to learn how to talk to them. I had to learn how to respond to a child, you know, one of my friends over here who just said a bad word and I have to react to whatever it is or not react, but I had to learn to be in that environment. So when you are homeschooling a child, I feel like you miss a lot of that. And so I'm just playing devil's advocate here, okay? You I feel like you lose a lot of that. You lose that social interaction with other kids. You lose the social interaction with different adults because they are inter, like if you go to a school, you know, to a school, you're interacting with different people like the lunch lady, you know, the front, the front desk. the administrative assistants for the school and all of that. And especially when you have a complex kid who has an IEP, then you have even more people that are involved in your child's life that they need to be able to learn how to react and how to do these things. So how do you combat that with homeschooling, right? Like I always worry about that. Like, geez. Just that social thing, like it would be hard for me to lose. But talk to us about that. Katelyn Deville: Sure. Yeah, and that is a major. Concern and when somebody decides to homeschool, that's the first thing that they're gonna come against like in public opinion is like how do you socialize but homeschoolers actually end up being Better socialized usually because you're not locked in to a school system So like in public school you might get 20 minutes of Recess and you've been teaching your child how to socialize since they were born you've been teaching them how to talk and how to communicate communicate with others. And then like with, there's still extracurriculars. There are homeschool co-ops, groups of people that get together who are all homeschooled for, they'll go on field trips. They might have like a guest speaker or something like that, events. It just kind of depends on your co-op. Kids who are homeschooled can play sports. I was homeschooled as a teenager and I was involved in a local theater group. My socialization circle was never at school. I was involved in church and our theater group and when I started homeschooling in 10th grade, I really didn't even notice a change in my socialization structure. So there are outlets. Michelle Choairy: Yeah. Katelyn Deville: to plug your child into and like a lot of homeschool kids they'll go through like they're part of their homeschool they will go to the grocery store and like learn to socialize with others like through that process like you're just you're living life and you're gaining that socialization that you need in those life skills. Michelle Choairy: Yeah, and I get the outside socialization. I get that. My son does go to an intensive outpatient program where he gets a lot of that in the afternoon. Also, a little bit more teaching when it comes to behavior and things like that. But it always... it worries me that we would lose some of that. this is just, like I said, this is a choice and a choice for every parent to make. You gotta figure out if it is the right thing for you, if it's not the right thing for you, if it's the right thing for your child, if it's not the right thing for your child. And it's so personal because really you are gonna have to that on. are. they can't read or whatever the learning disability or their disability is. So I'm glad that there are co-ops out there that help with this, you know, I just hope that there is something for the parents also. that the co-ops for the parents to meet, for them to keep them in check, because I really, it is daunting to me to think about homeschooling. But I also 100 % respect the parents who do choose to do it, because I don't think that I could. I don't think I could do it, right? But. But this is amazing. think that the listeners, if you are listening, think that just understanding a little bit of how the process is on the back end, I do see that there is a shift happening when it comes to education. They're getting the kids out of the school district and doing more of the homeschooling for many different reasons. out there. It could be political, could be disability, it could be whatever your reason is for homeschooling. I think that I do see that bigger transition into that. Especially for the young ones, when they're like between three and six or seven, I see the parents trying to do more at home. So if they do have outside services that they are working on, like speech, OT, or ABA, that they're able to do that a little bit more than they would if they're in school most of the day. Caitlin, we're getting towards the end of the podcast. And I always ask this. If you had to tell my... moms and parents are listening right now. The one thing that you want them to leave today with after this podcast, what would it be? Katelyn Deville: You are so much more capable than you could ever imagine. You have been advocating for your child since the moment you held them. And that's what makes you qualified to be their teacher, even if you don't homeschool. you are teaching them how to do life. And you were their first advocate and you're their best advocate and you are so much more capable than you will ever know. Michelle Choairy: think that one was for me, Caitlin. Thanks for that. All right. Well, tell us where my listeners can find you and what you are up to outside of this podcast. Katelyn Deville: sure, so you can go to homebasedmethod.com. That's my website. There you can set up a free consultation and we can talk and see if we're a good fit. And even if we're not, you walk away with a confident next step for your education journey for your child. And coming out in the beginning of June, I am to have a class for for those deciding if homeschool is right for them. I've got a three-part framework coming out that's going to walk you step by step through that decision in is homeschooling your next best step. Michelle Choairy: Mm hmm. Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Caitlin. All of your information will be on the notes of the podcast. And Caitlin, thank you so much for coming. It was great having you. Katelyn Deville: Thank you. Michelle Choairy: All right, everyone, we'll see you next week. Before you go, take a deep breath. You don't have to solve everything today. You don't have to have it all figured out. If this episode helped you feel seen, grounded, or a little less alone, make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss future conversations. And if you ever want a deeper support, Special Education Concierge is here when you're ready. One step at a time. One decision at a time. You are your child's hero. I'll see you next time.