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Nicks Guest Appearance on Where The Weird Ones Are · The Occult Rejects

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: You see, something's going to happen. What's going to happen? What?
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: What's up? Everybody?
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Welcome to another episode. So happy to have you here.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Have a fantastic guest. Kind of met him through mutual friends.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: His name is Nick. He's from the Occult Rejects. Nick.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: How's it going, man?
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Very good, very good, Thank you, thank you for having
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: me on. And I was sorry about the issue with
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: the originally.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: So it's all good. It's all good.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: You know, things happen when they when they're supposed to happen.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: I feel like, so you know, when you're when you're
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: more prepared for certain things, or something maybe happens in
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: between the time of.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: That needed to happen.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: You probably got a calmer moment at nine o'clock in
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: the morning, so it might be better.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe, yeah, a little bit more relaxed.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Oh man, So if you don't mind, let the listeners
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: know who you are, a little bit about yourself in where.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: They can find you and all that stuff.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: Yes, the Occult Rejects podcast that's on Bitch You Rumble
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: YouTube and all major podcast right now. Like if you
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: were to go check it out now, it's basically like
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: a conglomerate of a bunch of people. Not everybody has
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: their own podcasts. Some of them are authors, some of
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: them like have their own outlets or blogs, but some
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: of them are podcasts as well, but as well. But
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: it's probably like a group of like I don't know,
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: by now, like close to fifteen people, but not everybody
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: comes on. It's kind of, you know, we used for
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: different topics and different things, but it has kind of
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: become like its own eggregor in a sense. So you know,
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: that's just you know, you will see other people just
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: besides the little core group of the occult rejects.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: You'll see how the show is joining us.
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: We cover topics on occultism, paranormal true crime if it
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: you know, happens to touch in occultism. Also like a
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: lot of like megaliths, like even like science, because I
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: do think certain things that we covered in science I
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: think is almost kind of like showing you magic. So
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: we do, you know, cover a lot.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Of that type of stuff as well. Nice man, So
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: oh you go ahead, go ahead.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I was just gonna ask you what what got you
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: interested in starting the show?
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: I have to take it back a long time ago
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: prior to like twenty ten. Oh wow, oh no, no, no,
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: I'm just gonna say that I wasn't podcasting that, but
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: I'm just right to take back to around like I
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: don't know, two thousand nine, I started to get.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Into like.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Conspiracies, and as soon as I got into the stuff,
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: it was like a lot of Jordan, Maxwell, Passio, Tasari
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: and David like the Project Camelot. You know a lot
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: of them sometimes are focus on occultism, a lot of them,
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: some of those focused on it a lot, and so
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: that interested me, and I guess, you know, like I
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: guess all of us the podcast is most of us
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: that are into this shit.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I'm assuming like as we listen to the other people.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: That we you know, we came across before we saw
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: a podcasting, you know, like you kind of start like
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: looking down, you start researching some of the stuff they
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: talk about. And I started getting heavily into just like
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: kind of looking into the occultism, the secret societies, and uh,
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: you know, It's a few years goes by and like,
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: you know, just one day it just hits me. I'm
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: like I've been like looking at all this stuff, like
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: studying these orders, these names who supposedly started this, where
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: the fuck it was?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: This and that?
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, I still don't know what the hell
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: magic is. I was like, what the I really, I
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: still don't understand it. I don't get it. I'm just
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: I just know all these names in these places and
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: these horrible people.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Uh So I was like, maybe I.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: Should have start getting it to it myself, well, like
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: start reading up on it, like more like actual stuff
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: than ocultist would read. And I started to get into
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: a few like magic books and started reading them, and
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: even I started seeing contradictions between people's stuff, like if
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: I remember correctly, you know, if I'm wrong, I'm sorry,
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: but I think it was Donald Michael Craig. You had
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: like twelve or it's called twelve or thirteen Lessons in
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: High Magic, and he had the liber Russian there, which
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: is Rush is a it's a prayer that Alista Crowley wrote,
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: and I had that that his writing. I think it's
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: just a few pages. I forgot whatever, it's the Libra Rush.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: I had that.
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: I printed it out and then it was like, this
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: isn't the same It's sound in the same order.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: So I was like, wait, you know what the fuck.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: I was like, I guess, like now you even got
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: to worry about whose book you're reading. And I was like,
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: maybe I should just like see if this place is
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: near me. I was in New York, so I was like,
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: I'm sure there's probably something out here that I could
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: like start going to. And I knew from kind of
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: getting into the magic community or the cult community, you know,
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: reading books, are joining like Facebook.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Groups or just you know, watching YouTube videos.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: There were some people that I had, you know, started
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: to become friends with, and I was told by somebody
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: I knew that was a freemason. They were like, if
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: you don't even ball the for occultism or magic, because
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: they probably take you forever to get there. They said,
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: you know, look into like the OTO, the Golden Dawn Martinists,
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: maybe like in one or two other names. And the
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: only thing near me that was even an option was
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: happened to be the OTO, and it was about twenty
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: five minutes away. I know I had mentioned before I
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: had rash and I did have some of Crawley's stuff.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: I just before we go forward, I don't put that
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: guy up on a pedestal. I'm pretty sure he did
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: some fucking twisted, weird shit. But I think when it
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: comes to a cultism, he was a genius. And I
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: also do think he understood science and the eyeball on
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: the brain, and I think they believe it or not.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: I think that's deeply encoded in his work. Uh but
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: uh so, I just want to say, like I, I
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: honestly would have rather have gone to probably the Golden Dome,
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: That's what I was hoping, something like that was a
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: little bit more academic school. Yeah, and I was like,
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: fuck it, I'll just go with the OTO, I'll go
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: check it out. When I found them online wherever I
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: found them to contact them, I think they had kind
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: of like a calendar that had stuff with like things
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: that are coming up, so you could see like if
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: you wanted to go or not, or I guess even
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: for the members to check out. And I saw that
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: they were having a Gnostic mass. They tended to have
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: one like every week on the weekends, and I think
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: there was one like.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: A few weeks away, and I was like, all right,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I'll think I'll go to that one.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: And I emailed them because they had a contact and
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: told them I wanted to come to the Gnostic mess.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Then and they were like, oh, just email us that
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: day or the day before and let us know. It's like,
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: you know, it's already ahead in the future, just let
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: us know that. I was like all right, sure, and
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, all right, let me see if I
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: can find anything about this gnostic mess And I was like, oh,
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: there's a video on YouTube. I was like, not bad.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: It was a little weird, it was a little different,
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: but I was like I can handle this for sure.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: You not a problem. So then like the day Calmes
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: and uh, I send them the email and then they
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: descend you directions and everything coming from all multiple areas.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: And uh, I'm like, I'm like reading him.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: He gets weird at first, but then when I explained it,
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: you'll be like all right. But like it tells you
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: at first, it's like, uh, it gives you the address
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: and how to get there. And then it's like, you know,
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: there's a park across the street, so go like stand
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: over by the benches that over near the park, and
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: there should be people over there and somebody will come
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: out and get used. And I was like, Yo, what
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: the fuck is this? I was like, ooh, this sounds
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: sketchy as shit. I was like, why did stand out
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: of the fucking said. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: go there, and it's twenty minutes twenty five minutes away,
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: so I'm like, fuck it, let me just go see
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: what's up. I get over in that area, and that
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: you do see like a bunch of people kind of
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: look like it would look like they're hanging out by
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: the park outside the gate, next to the bench, and
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: I was like, they all look gothering b all. So
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: I'm assuming that's for the fucking oto. So I was like,
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: all right, there'll be other people there. You know, I
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: won't get kidnapped by myself. There's probably a chance, you know,
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: I got a shot, I might get away. So I
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: over there, you know, waiting with the other people. And
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: then this is when I collecked and I realized what
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: the problem was. The the after fact, I realized, this
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: is an apartment in the basement of apartment building that
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: they rented out that they turned into a temple. It's
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: also a gated technically, like a gated building, you can't
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: get in that apartment building unless you have the key
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: to get in the fucking door. So they have to
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: come out and open up the gate to let you in.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: So like, once I realized what was going on there,
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: I was like, Okay, this just is weird. But it's
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: not weird weird, it's just the situation of the building.
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: But I went in and uh, you know, eventually they
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: start up the Gnostic mass, and that was a little
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: bit different. I will say it was a little bit
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: different then it was what was on YouTube. I didn't think.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: It never dawned on me that there might be nudity
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: in it, and YouTube can't show nudity. So at some point,
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: titties came out, and I was like, oh, what the
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: fuck's going on? I don't remember this from YouTube, you know.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: Like I'm standing there, like if you'd like see how
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: the Gnostic masses. It's just like two rows of people
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: on and like there's like you know, the people that
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: are doing it, and I'm just like standing there and
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: it's like I'm just like looking. I'm like looking at
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: the people next in front of me, and I'm like
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: looking to the side and I'm like, yo, it was
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: this like eyes wide shut, it's just gonna turn into
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: the and I'm like looking around. I'm like, yo, if
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: this gets any fucking weirder. I'm getting the fuck out
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: of here. I was like, I'm just gonna walk out,
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: fuck it. And I'm like looking at him like there's
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: gona look like anybody's gonna try to stop me anyway.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: So I know they didn't get weirder.
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Uh, But I I stayed, obviously, I stayed for about
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: another five or six years after that. I will say though,
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: the next thing I went to after that was not
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: actually a Gnostic mass. I think it was like a
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: candle fucking a class on candle spelled candle making. But uh, yeah,
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: so I mean that that was my first experience I
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: went to a Gnostic mass.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Uh. I ended up like that.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: I did find it interesting again that the nudity or
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: the titties just still like throw me off. And it
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: was just I don't know, it's just like when you
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: start getting into shit like that, you're like, well, you gotta.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Draw a fun line somewhere. I think, I don't know.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: It was just like, you know, you're talking about magic
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: and secret society, and now you got tits out, like
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: it's going towards the you know, the the the way
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: people already look at it.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: It's fucking weird and perverted. I was like, oh, fuck,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: where are you going there? Like first first ship, but uh,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: the first day there.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: But there was a lot of stuff I had noticed
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: on that calendars and you know, classes that they offered,
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: stuff on history, stuff on people, stuff on like talismans
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: against you know, candle magic. So I was like, all right,
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: this things here that I could probably keep coming to.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: And you didn't have to be a member. There's unless
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: it's a closed meeting. That's another thing too. You could
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: just go off the streets and if at the time
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: it was like a fight all donation, you throw five
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: bucks in that.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Fucking cup, they don't give a fuck.
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: Who the fuck you will, you know, gonna show it,
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: come on it, you know, as long as you don't
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: go crazy kill anybody. You know, they're they're trying to
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: make money themselves. So you know, like so like I
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: didn't have to become a member. I mean I eventually did, obviously,
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: but at that time, I was like, all right, I
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: could come here and it's like I really don't have
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: to get involved to become a member, And there's plenty
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: of things that I could probably just get you know,
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: learn from. But the main thing for me really was
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: actually being around people that practice because I didn't know
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: anybody personally, like physically in my own life. I knew
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: people from online. So I was like, all right, at
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: least I can come here and like someone that everybody
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: was completely weird. I was like, I could probably like
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: get ideas, learn, bounce things off of people, see what
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: works for them, see their experiences. So, you know, like
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: I said, I ended up staying for a few degrees.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: I did a few initiations. Eventually I was there for
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: about six years. Uh what eventually made me leave? Well,
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: COVID came and they closed. They crumbled to the CDC,
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: and I was like, that's fucking weird, because, like, you know,
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: Jesus has got his doors open. What are you saying,
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: Like Jesus is Jesus has got more balls and horse
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: You guys go on and on and on on about
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: wors a mighty warrior and this motherfucker's dude scared they
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: got his doors open for this shit. Come on, man, Oh,
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: if you if you have such magicians and witches, why
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: don't you just like what's I'm banishing fucking.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: COVID spell on yourself? Like come on, man, like just fucking.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: Stupid, you know, and uh, And then they started going on,
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: this is so fucking funny because they use like ninety three.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: It's like a numerical value for like certain things. It's
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: used a lot, Like that's even how people will say
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: hi and.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah Crowley, he uses ninety three.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: And they even sent out an email saying that like
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: ninety three percent of the lodge is uncomfortable going there
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: unless they're fucking vaccinated. I'm like, that's a fake fucking number,
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: because first off, you didn't ask me. He didn't ask Jason,
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: you didn't ask Michael, he didn't ask fucking Jordan. So
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: I don't know how the fuck that's ninety three fucking percent.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: You just said ninety three. So these fucking clowns and
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: these colt minded motherfuckers think it's cute and go along
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: with it.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: And I was like, yo, now you're fucking suggesting vaccinations.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here. I'm not going Yeah, And.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: Then they started doing zoom meetings and I was like,
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: you know what, And at this point I probably wasn't
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: even going to that lodge for about six months because
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: I was just now I wasn't comfortable anyone where I
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: had my We'll get into it if we have time
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: or if you want to. I had my own magical
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: experiences to where I was like, I don't think that
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: place emulates where the fuck I'm going or the experiences
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: I had. It seems to emulate more of the vices
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: of the handcuffs that you need to get rid of
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: to have a magical experience. So I really wasn't going
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: that much anymore. But then like they started doing these
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: zoom meetings. I was like, you know what, I'll it's COVID,
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: nothing's open, nothing the fuck to do anyway.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I'll jump on and listen to these things regardless.
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: And I did that for like maybe a few weeks,
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: and then like all of a sudden, that George Floyd
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: shit happened. No, and they send out a fucking email
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: asking if we want to like have like some group
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: meaning thing about George Floyd, and I'm like, looking at
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: this shit, I'm like, yo, this has nothing to do
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: with the oto of magic, and they are like very
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: much like you know, if anybody knows how alcoholics anonymous works,
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: and I'm sure narcotics Anonymous is the same.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Shit.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: We're not here to talk about anything except alcohol. We're
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: not here to talk about politics, religion. You know, we're
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: alcohol and getting sober all that other shit we can't
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: really have an opinion on. They're supposed to be the
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: same way. So why the fuck are we talking about
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: George Floyd? Because like you want to start getting old
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: fleamic and do what that will? That motherfucker whatever happened
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: to him, I hate to say, it didn't change my
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: life or affect me at all, So why the fuck
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: are we having a meeting over this? And I was like,
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: let me go to this ship for ships and giggles,
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: you know, I gotta listen to this fucking silly shit.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: And it turned into like some kumbai a fucking group
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: therapy session about like people experiencing racism. I was like,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: you gotta be fucking kidding me. I was like, the
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: funniest thing in here is that there's only one motherfucking
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: black dude in this lotch to begin with, So like,
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: where are we even going with this? Like maybe maybe
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: we should acknowledge that, you know, it was just fucking silly.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: I was like, where the fuck one black dude in
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: this whole fucking the whole meeting the whole zoom. I'm like,
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: this is fucking fun. It was just weirdest shiit to me.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: And I was like, yo, why And then all of
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: a sudden, they like want to like push the idea
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: of like, oh, does anybody want to like go and protest?
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: Maybe we can start, you know, Like I was like, Yo,
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: we're gonna go.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: We're not gonna have meetings because of COVID, but we're
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: all gonna get together on the street.
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: I wanted to say that, but I was like, you know,
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut because I was
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: gonna be like, yo, so the lodge is fucking closed,
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: but you guys want to go out and stand out
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: in the streets and around what the fuck.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Is wrong with you? And I was just like yo.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: I was like never again, and I stopped, uh, stopped
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: listening to you know, the emails.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Everything. I was just I was done.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: And because of that, I was just like, between that
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: and having my own magical experience, I was already kind
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: of like almost out of like kind of getting out
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: of that lifestyle. And I was like, you know, let
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: me go back to what I like used to be interested.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: And I was like gonna go back to conspiracies and
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: you know this and that, and started going back to
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: the stuff that I was into before I got heavily
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: into that. And I don't know if it was just
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: like me starting to pay attention to the world around
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: me instead of like magic and rituals and reading books
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: and going to the OTO. I was just like, Yo,
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: the cult symbolism and magic is like fucking like rampidly blatant.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: I was like, like, was it always like this or
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: did I just not notice? Like did it get bad
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: in the last few years. I was like, it's fucking unreal,
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: especially politics, I thought, even both sides, Democrats and the Republicans.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: When Trump was going against Biden, I was like, Yo,
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: the symbolism when both of them the shit they're saying,
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: the numbers are using, I'm like, Yo, this is fucking insane.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: So I was like, yo, I gotta I just started
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: a podcast because of like my experiences with the OTO
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: and how I saw like, you know, cult symbolism being
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: basically just fucking.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: All over the place everywhere.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, then uh yeah, I mean it really just
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: it started off with me like talking into a like
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: a microphone and recorded myself on the computer. I wasn't
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: even using a camera and just releasing it out on
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: Sprinker and bit shoot, you know, sit in my kitchen too.
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: Now it's you know, something completely different. But it started
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: off basically with me, like I was telling you prior
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: prior to the show, like how they get you when
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: you want to talk about like initiation shit, or like
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: certain stuff you're not supposed to repeat just because those
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: those books get copyrighted. And like when I first started
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: coming out, I covered the degrees.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: You know, they took them down, but.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: Like when I I originally came out, it was like
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: trying to I guess I was very mad at the
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: OTO because I even feel like they did they lie
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: to you, but when it comes to magic, they really
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: don't tell you what the fuck it's about. So I think,
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: like if you have a magical experience, it might like
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: rock your fucking core or even fucking drive your mad
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: because you're like, wait, this is magic, Like dying is
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: a part of magic.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Like why did the fuck didn't you tell me that?
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Like what That's not what
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: I thought it was, Like, I don't know, it's just
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: hard to explain like you should really tell people like
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: what the fuck like is actually gonna happen if you
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: do have this experience. And I was just kind of like,
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: I guess butt hert over that shit. And uh I
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: was kind of very against the OTO. I mean again,
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: I don't agree with them now anyway, but uh so
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: I did a lot of stuff trying to like I
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: guess shit on them and cover a cult symbolism. And
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: then eventually, like I started working with somebody lux at
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: the time, I probably had him. He was the co
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: host for the Occult Rejects like the first year and
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: a half, and we like would cover a secret society's
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: and a cult symbolism taro and stuff. But uh it's
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: basically how like it came to be because of my
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: experience in the OTO, realizing I didn't want to be
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: there anymore having a magical experience. I just was just like, Yo,
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: this ship is fucking all over the world and it's
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: like fucking controlling everybody.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: Like I should probably uh maybe I saw a podcast
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: a bit about it.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: It was around the same time too that I like,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: you know, how like that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: There was probably a fun ton of shows that all
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: came out within like the same six months.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Seem like everybody just had the same idea. I was
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: around in that time too, Yeah.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, as because I started in the spring of twenty one,
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: and like pretty much everybody that I know started around
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: that time too, right after COVID, or a lot of
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: people started during COVID. But as my podcast kind of
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: like came about in the same way. I didn't become
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: a member of any group, but I just was like
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I was listening. I was into conspiracy since nine to eleven.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I was thirty.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: I was twelve thirteen when nine to eleven happened, and
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: I was watching it on TV in my living room
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: when I got home from school, and I remember seeing
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: some things that I was just like, this doesn't seem right,
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: like why and then the building falling straight down when
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: the top of it should have just fallen over, you
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: know what I mean. So right then and there, I
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: was like, that's weird. But I didn't think too much
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: of it. But the more what I and I didn't
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: listen to podcasts for I thought podcasts were stupid. I
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: was like, who the fuck wants to sit there and
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: listen to two people or a group of people, or
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: want even one person just like have conversations and talk
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: about certain things.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, that sounds silly.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: And then in twenty twenty, when nothing was happening and
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: the radio was fucking played out and I had the
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: same playlist for like two years, I was like, all right,
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: let's let's get into some podcasts.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: I guess let's see what this is all about.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I started listening to podcasts and I found I started
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: listening to a lot of conspiracy stuff. And then I
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: found through the conspiracy podcasts, I found some paranormal podcasts.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: And I had paranormal experiences growing up, and yeah, I
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: had a couple as an adult too, some scary ones.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: And so I was like, you know what I want
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: to talk to people about, you know, conspiracies and ghosts
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: and fucking Bigfoot and shit like that. I was like, so,
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: let's let's just do that. I was like, I'm not
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: looking to freaking and somebody one of my friends.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Were like, what do you think you're going to be
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Joe Rogan?
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm fucking not even trying for that,
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Like I'm not looking for fame.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: I just want to talk to people like that. I
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: just want to talk to people about their experiences with
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: all this shit. That's all I want.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: That's because I can't start a conversation with Joe Schmoe
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: and them fucking stare at me like I'm fucking retarded.
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: You know, I guarantee those people aren't purely happy what
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: they're doing anyway.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's funny too because I get more support
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: from people I don't know.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: So well.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: That's even another thing too with the cole Reji. Actually,
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: be told you probably two thirds of the people on
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: there were fans that eventually I brought onto the show
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: and even started the wrong podcast or even sarted the
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: wrong podcast. I had two or three people tell me
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: they started the podcast because of the show or because
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: of me, and then I sort of bringing them on
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: and they just became part of the show as well.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: So nice.
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it is pretty wild. Hell, actually, yeah, most of
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: that show is actually people. They're a good chunk of
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: it was people are just listeners. And I was like, goo,
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: let's making it happen.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: That's awesome, that's awesome. Good for you, that's that's cool.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: So I don't really know a whole lot of about
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: the oto. I've heard it a few times and once
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: I like owls, so I have one fucking right here
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: on my fucking throat. So once I started hearing about it,
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: I was like, uh, it's like literally right after I
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: got the the this tattoo that I started hearing more
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: and more about it, and I was like, oh, ship,
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: maybe I.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Shouldn't have done that.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: He's controlled.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Grove. And then and then I've found out that the
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Batman symbol is like a Masonic kind of thing, and
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: I was like, fucking a, So now I got a
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: fucking tattoo that people are going to be like, oh,
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: he's controlled opposition, blah blah, blah blah. He's got an
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: owl on his throat and a fucking Batman tattoo on
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: his arm, Like fucking how Masonic and fucking occultic?
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Can you get the symbol?
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: All my tattoos blatantly a cult? I can't even hide him.
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: They are a cult.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: Do you fucking so you go to this this first
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: meeting and then you end up becoming yeah.
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah when six years later I left, Yeah, so uh
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: freaking it's it's in resting how all of this ship
• 23:01
  Speaker 5: goes back to like sexual ship.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Like like you said, like titties started coming out and
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: the first time, the first time you you were there.
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: You know what's funny is that when I when someoney
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: did like I was going to ask to join anyway eventually, Yeah,
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: because all this stuff, but it was funny how like
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: when somebody mentioned it, I realized that after fact, I
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: was like, it's funny. How was the priestess that I
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: saw the first time at my ot O meeting? She's
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: I saw her titties. Yeah, I just found a way
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: the first chick that I saw her tits. So now
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: the one asking me, are you going to join? And
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: you know, tell me, you know, you take the paperwork,
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: I'll sign it for you, and I'm like fox.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: She's like, do you want to see my Yeah, you
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: want to see him?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: I was even saw like a pig.
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: But I was like, she is like the only one
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: here that's kind of even worth looking at, oh ship,
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: Well at least at least then she was.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: No. No, I mean that I think of God's gift
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: to the world.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: It was it was actually just weird, and it was
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: that was old, always a weird and uncomfortable situation to
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: the point that when you're there for a while, especially
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: if you start taking degrees, they might expect you like,
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: you know, would you like to get involved, would you
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: like to do something? You know, could you maybe do
• 24:12
  Speaker 4: something in the mass, or could you do a class?
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: They'll start asking you and like, I I'm normally not
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: I don't want to stop being broaded or asked to
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: do things, so I'm like, you know what, I know
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: it's gonna eventually come.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I'll just find something to do with myself.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: And they started having like issues with like, you know,
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: not people may not always show up or they can't
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: always get everybody to do a mass, so they may
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: not be able to do it. And a child they
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: call a child. There's two of them that are in
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: the mass. You're basically one person is represented. You're basically
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: representing the pillars of the tree, and one of them
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: will hold salt and water and the other one will
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: hold an incense burner and incense, and you follow the
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: priests and the priestess around throughout the mass. They had
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: like a lot of openings for that, and at that
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: time they are like basically like as long as you
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: can learn what.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: You have to do, you can start doing it.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: At some point you had to get baptized and confirmed
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: in order to be able to do it.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: But at first, you know, that's how it was.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, I think somebody was like,
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: would you ever be interested in doing it? I think
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: because like they were, you know, kind of short handed.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, you know what, I'll actually do
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: that because like you know, now I'll start getting involved
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: and they won't ask me to do anything. And one
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: of the reasons why this is sound cheesy, long drawn
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: ass story to tell you this is that when you're
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: the child, by the time she's get the chick is
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: going to take off her shit and take out a tits.
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: I'm my backage to her and I'm looking at everybody else.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: So I was like, now I can't actually avoid the
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: whole fucking awkward situation. And I'll just sit there with
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: my incense and burning on my water and salt and
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: she's got a tits out. I don't have to look
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: at anything.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: It sounds like fucking cheasy vanilla prove.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: But I was just like it was just fucking weird
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: because it's just like, yo, like, now I'm hanging out
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: with you after the fact you have your clothes on,
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: or like next week I'm gonna be like talking to
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: you and like one day you're just gonna be up
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: there again with your tits hanging out.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: It was just like fucking weird, you know.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: I was just like, yeah, it's like I hate I
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: don't want to look at him either, you mean I
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: want to look at me?
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: One time enough Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was enough. Believe
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: So if you.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Don't mine, I'd love to hear this, uh, the magical
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: experience you had.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I do believe I have crossed the abyss.
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: I mean that is something I claim on my own show.
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: I do think that is like for a magician if
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: they're I hate going into black and white magic, but
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: if you're actually trying to do something to better yourself,
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: I think that's that's what magic is, is going to
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: be crossing the abyss and and having an experience with
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: the Source or God or whatever people want to call it.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: I call it God the Source. That's what the magician. Technically,
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: that's what a magician is supposed to be doing. There's
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: their whole means is supposed to have, you know, become union,
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: have union with God and uh I started. I I
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: do believe I had that experience across the Abyss and
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: pretty much like changed my life and even change the
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: way I look at even magic anymore. And the crazy
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: thing is, I mean I can go into it too,
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: you know I will. But when I had these like
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: serious magical experiences, I had one that I think it
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: was like getting kind of close there that I actually
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: did a ritual like I was doing ritual work and
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: it wasn't even anything crazy. I was basically like, people
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: may not understand when I say this now, because if
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: they don't practice magic, the probably like I don't know
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: what the fuck it just said. But I was using
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: like I always use the cabalistic tree of Life for
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: the most part when I do my rituals, and I
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: was working with net SoC or Venus or it was
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: kind of more of like a hath or idea, but
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: a lot of times I was also using whatever, like
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: the God the idea of God in that sphere. So
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: a lot of times I near the end wis I
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: was doing rituals. A lot of my work was actually
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: to God and not actually specific deities anymore.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: It was almost like prayers and theorgy.
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: You know, I had kind of a little bit of
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: an interesting experience, and then I stopped because I thought
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: it was like a little weird. And then eventually I
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: was like, you know what, I'll go back into meditating.
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: And now what I want to get in to my
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: magical experience is this literally was just for meditating.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: No rituals were done or anything. And that was, like, you.
• 28:14
  Speaker 4: Know, it blew me away because I was like, yo,
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: I didn't even do a ritual and this shit was
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: more intense than like anything I've ever experienced. But you know,
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: I and another thing I do want to say before
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: I forget, and I'm going to get into it though,
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: but like you know, the whole death and rebirth, I
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: do believe in a sense, and I know it sounds crazy,
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: it sounds like a little scary. I'm not saying it
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: to get like you know, edgy points or whatever, but
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: you know, I do believe that death is actually a
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: part of magic. You know, they talk about the death
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: and the rebirth. I think it's a little bit more
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: literal than people would like to actually think. I mean,
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: I remember, even as a child, I would hear stuff
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: about like monks of these people that supposedly would be
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: able to go into these meditations and would seem as
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: if they're dead.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: That shit's real.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: I not that I have done it, but like if
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: you were to see the movie flat Liners, that's just
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: a cheat code. That's just like instead of going into
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: the meditation and spending all this time, I'll just put
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: myself out and bring myself back. You're releasing the soul
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: from the flesh and you're having an experience in the
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: you know, the other world. That's what I actually think
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: is happening. So like I I eventually, like when I
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: had my experience a lot of times with meditating, I had.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Like certain basics that I would do. Uh. I'd normally
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: was sit in a chair. It had a flat back.
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: I made sure that the back was completely flat, and
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: I put my hands on my on my legs and
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: just keep them straight.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: It's called the god post.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: It's like the easiest way to meditate besea. It's like
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: laying on your bed on your back.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: I was do something a little bit different than just
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: laying on the bed. I'll do this, and I got
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: kind of used to it, and so I would meditate
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: there and a lot of times, like I always had
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: like the same routines that I would go through just
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: to kind of like get my I guess my senses
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: going or balanced whatever before I would do a ritual.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: But I wasn't gonna do the rich.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: I was just gonna go through my meditations, and so
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: I would like sometimes like sit there. And people who
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: practice or even witches would probably even do this a lot.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: For meditation.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: You kind of picture like a white light coming down
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: into you and then like moving through your body and
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: then flowing into the ground or back and forth. You know,
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: just stuff like that, or like just like stuff coming
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: in and trying to like keep your eyes closed and
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: actually envision like a form of your body filling up with.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: White light and then going into the ground. I would
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: do that for a while.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: You'll move it up and down, and you know, I've
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: said before, and I've heard other people say too, that
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: I do believe that when you start getting really good
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: at that, from my experience, you could even feel like
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: the heat or something as you're visualizing the light moving
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: throughout your body. It's gonna sound crazy, but especially in
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: my legs, if I have a village, you visualized it
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: like I could almost like literally, as I'm picturing the
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: light going through my legs, I could almost feel like
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: a burning sensation going down my legs.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: As I'm picturing. Wow.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I do think that so you start to
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: actually get some like the mind can make the body
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: believe that isn't real, you know what I'm saying. So
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: I do think that you're almost starting to get to that,
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: to there, I mean your mind, if your mind, and
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna even say this is how I think a
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: lot of conspiracy theories and a bullshit actually take off.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: I hate to say it. Your mind will if it's
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: afraid of.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: Something and doesn't understand something, it will fucking lie to
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: you and make sense of it just so you can
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: preserve your ego and then flip the fuck out. So uh,
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: you know, we're just saying how strong the brain is.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: So like I would do that and then like once
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: I felt like that that was good, then I would
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: start going into my chakras and I would start like
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: visualizing and aligning my chakras. I would start trying to
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: focus on them for me, and you'll hear other people
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: that are into that stuff. For a while, it sounds crazy.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: I always thought it was bullshit too when I first
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: started getting into it, But I will shit you not.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: You can steel those motherfuckers. They feel like little spinning
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: Tasmanian devils. It's like a little bull like. So I
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: would try to focus on them and like kind of
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I was just like put pressure on
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: them or focus on them for a while and just
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: go up and down a little bit. And then there'd
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: be times that I I think I got this out
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: of a book Hold the Wheels of Time or something
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: like that, by energy of Judith or something somebody, the
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: lady that was big into chakras, and I think she
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: might be like into the lima. So I had her
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: book and she would talk about pulling like the top
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: one in the bottom one, like trying to visualize that
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: to straighten it out, and this and that. So I
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: would do stuff like that, and then sometimes I answer
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: all that like I would just try to go into
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: a meditation either just like let my mind kind of
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: like empty out.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: And another thing I want to say for people when.
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: They're like, oh, meditating, that sounds like a fucking boring
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: and sucks. I don't even think about not thinking about anything.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: That's not gonna happen you try to cut out the
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: one hundred, you know, leave yourself with ten voices instead
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: of one hundred.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: That's actually like that's progress of meditation for me.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: Meditation normally would actually try to normally focus on.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: One idea and hold on to it and keep going
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: with it.
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: Believe it or not, a lot of times for like
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: magicians or occultists, Like it's not clearing the mind.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: It's like you're using.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: Meditation to try to get lost in an idea and
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: thought to figure something out, gain knowledge from it, or
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: to get like lost in the image that you're viewing
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: with your eyes closed.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: That's my opinion.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: Uh So, like I'm not trying to go completely you know,
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: blank in the mind. And at this point I had
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: remembered because of the prior, the prior experience I had
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: that I said, got like a little weird.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Just to sum that up real quick.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: It was like all of a sudden, like I had
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: my eyes closed and I got like a flash of
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: white and it felt like I like stepped into like
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: an HDTV and it just looked like I was like
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: standing in a pyramid, and I was starting to think
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: about like where am I or who am I?
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, it's like I snapped
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: out of it.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: But it was like really weird, and it was like
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: so like high definition and grainy and the.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Colors are almost like thermal cam. It was fucking bizarre, dude.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: It was yeah, but it was just like yo, like
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: it was so fucking real, and I didn't have my body.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: It was just like I was hovering in the scene.
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: So like, you know, that kind of weired me out.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: I was like, all right, maybe I'll calm down with
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: the rituals. I'm I'm gonna be totally awesome. I'm like,
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: maybe I'm doing something. I don't know what the fuck
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: I'm getting into. Ill shit, you not. I was like,
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: I don't, I don't know, you know, how to fuck
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: do I even know that these rituals are okay that
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: I'm even doing, Like, you know, all this shit's going
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: through my head.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: So I was like, I'll just stick to basics and
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: just meditate. That should be, you know, safe, you would think.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: So. But prior to that one thing that I remembered,
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: and I mean, it's my own fault, fucking fault too,
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: because I was like, before that experience happened, you know.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: I would sometimes like, if I'll do all that meditating,
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: then I'll do my ritual. And then sometimes in the
• 34:32
  Speaker 4: middle of the ritual, when I want to do whatever
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: I want to do or ask God whatever I want
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: to ask God for, what to pray or whatever, I'll
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: go through like more meditation again, and sometimes I'll play
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: with my chakras. And this time I was pushing on
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: the panial one kind of hard, just like holding it.
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: That sounds crazy, I'm fuckers pushing on this panial fucking whatever.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: I'm kind of like holding it. You can feel it.
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: And for me, I normally it's like I will put
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: my eyes up like almost cross eyed, towards my panial gland,
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: and it's like as I'm feeling that, but as I'm
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: doing that, you can really feel it for me. So
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: I was kind of like focusing and pressing on it.
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: And I had realized before that explosion of white. When
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: I was doing that, it seemed like and if people meditate,
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: maybe they'll.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Get this idea, they'll understand what I'm saying.
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: When you close your eyes for a while, I don't
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: know if it's maybe because you do get stuck getting
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: loose in your head and not so much in the
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: outer world. You don't see It's like it will be dark,
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: but I feel like ten minutes into a meditation will
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: be even.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Darker with your eyes closed. That that makes sense to anybody.
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: When I was pushing on the pineal gland, the dark
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: would look like like even darker. It's like almost like
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: it was if like black oil was like spelling out
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: on a on a dusty black floor, to where it's
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: like the black didn't even look like it was that
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: dark anymore. It's like something else is even like fucking
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: pouring out just fucking black as shit.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: So I remember that. I was like, let me see
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: what that was about.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: So I started pushing on, pushing on like fanial gland
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: where I was meditating, and I started noticing and like
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: this little white piercing white dot and the like just
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: starts showing up like like literally like if you had
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: like a I guess, like a needle, and the tip
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: of it was like burning fucking white ash shit literally
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: just like out in the distance. And it's crazy saying
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: out in the distance. This is another thing too, with
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: this experience. Once I start getting into it, it is
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: as if like, even though you're in your head, I
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: swear to God, it's like you're seeing a distance. It
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: is fucking insane, Like there's depth. Well before the white
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: light came, all this black, like I said, was spreading out,
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: and it started to look like almost like an oil
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: slick where I would have like these very like fluorescent
• 36:39
  Speaker 4: rainbow colors kind of like around it. Kind of like
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: if you're driving through the street and you see like
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: an oils like like in water, and you kind of
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: see all like the rainbow and there it started to
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: seem like that spreading out and then it got dark
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: as fucking Then you see that white light, and I
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: kind of like had to like focus on it. As
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: crazy as it sounds, it's like it's almost it's like
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: whereas visioning it in my eye eyes with my eyes closed,
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: it's like I almost kind of had to have like
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: my pineal gland like focusing on it and almost have
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: like my head focused where I would see it. You know,
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: it's hard to explain. It was almost like I had
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: to lock onto it. And it's like you all of
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: a sudden you need to get it, and you hold
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: it and it starts to like come a little bit
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: closer and then this white dot. I mean, it looks
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: like a blazing fucking star. And I've questioned if that's
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: where they even got the name for one of the
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: OTO lodges, the blazing Star. The oto it looks like this,
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: you know, burning star, and it starts coming a little
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: bit closer, and then like a little bit of like
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: black from around it looks like it like kind of
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: like comes in, it swirls in, and it starts to
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: makes it look like an eclipse. And then that's why
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: I have like eclipse and all my logos, uh. And
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: it starts to get like a little bit closer, and
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: all of a sudden, it's just like complete darkness. And
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: I just see this fucking eclipse hovering in front of me,
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: and I'm like holding my pineal gland the whole time too,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: And then all of a sudden, when I even saw
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: the white dot. This is so hard to explain, and
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: sometimes I leave it out, but like unfortunately, like he
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: explains maybe detail a little bit more. It looks like
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: as if like somebody took like a pencil and drew
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: like the outline of clouds and then like took that
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: and threw it into like blackness, so like if anything
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: lit up, you'd see like the the curvatures. It's hard
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: to explain, so like you see that kind of like
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: around the white light. Yeah, and that's what starts to
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: even make it look like it has depth as well,
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: because it's almost like you could see that there's something
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: in between you know, everything, and it's just like.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: This little burning dot and it looks like all these
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: other things.
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: So now eventually when it turns into an eclipse at
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: some point, I don't know what it is, but it's
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: like you start seeing this like these colors flesh around it.
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: It almost looks like flames like, and then it starts
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: to just turn to basically.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Dark like dark red or red.
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: Now because of me talking about all those like curves
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: and shit, when you see those explosions in red, it
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: literally almost starts to look like flower of roses blooming again.
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: Because I'm saying, all those little curvatures that you would
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: see like in the clouds, those are kind of almost
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: making the leafs now. It's hard to explain, but like
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: it almost looks like literally roses blooming around like an eclipse.
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: And that's why I have in one of my logos.
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: It's roses around an eclipse. I've even wondered, you know,
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: is that you Crowley used the word rose a lot.
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: He's you know, he had a girl, but you know
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: in his other work he he focused on the rose,
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: and you know you have the rosaccrusians. I do wonder
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: if this is like a common image that might be
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: seen with people for crossing the abyss. But you start
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: seeing those things come out, the explosions, and I'm just
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: like sitting there looking at it, and I'm not thinking anything.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: I'd be totally honest with you. I'm like sitting here,
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: I'm like, yo, this is like a cool, fucking like
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: free movie I'm watching right now. Like I'm just like
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: assuming that my mind is just like just playing with
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: playing around. I guess, I don't know. I'm not really
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: taking it too like serious. I just think it's like
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: this is fucking cool. Look and it's weird. Let's keep going.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: So like now all of a sud under like geometric
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: shapes start like showing up. Oh before the yeah yeah,
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: uh wait what happened first? I don't know if it's
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: the shapes, I might be getting it screwed up in uh,
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: which which things come first, I don't know, after the explosions,
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, these lines start coming out
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: to where it looks like as if the eclipse was spinning,
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: and these swirls are coming out and making like a spiral,
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: and it's like all these spirals and it's like vibrescent colors.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: And when it first starts to spin, I'm gonna be
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: totally honest with you, it looks like a swasticker until
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: it starts really picking up and you know, it starts
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: to come out like this, you have things coming out
• 40:37
  Speaker 4: from the full cardinal direction starting to spin. Keeping it
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: realm was.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: A symbol of peace.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that's what I'm gonna be totally honest
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: with you.
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: That is one of the things I even say that
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: I think it was one of the biggest things that
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: that guy pulled off, is that I think he took
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: an image or it took a symbol that is an
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: image of having an experience with God and fucking perverted
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: it and fuck hijacked and if anybody was to use it,
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: you can't because it's fuck it's fucked up. But all right,
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: so I start to see that it looks like it
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: almost like like vibrating, like I don't just stuff coming out.
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: It almost looks like it's pulsing out. And then that
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: starts to turn into like geometric shapes. It almost looks
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: like like tons of hexagrams and just like sacred geometry,
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: just like like even flashing towards me, like out of
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: the eclipse from the side, and I was just like, yo,
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: this is fucking crazy.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: And then.
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: That stops and it kind of gets like and at
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: this point, like it even feels like like I'm deaf,
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: Like I don't even hear anything anymore. It's just like, yeah,
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: it's just complete silence. And now all of a sudden,
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: and I've explained this a few ways, I'll try to
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: hopefully it works. It starts to look like if people like,
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: look at my logo. I don't know if you've ever
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: seen it looks like two films are real coming out
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: the side. If you take away the you know everything
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: and just have those squares of images, it starts to
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: look like like almost sideways doorways or whatever, these rectangle
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: windows floating starts coming out of the eclipse on each side,
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: but going really slow. And I've said, like if you
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: were in a like train, station or a subway station
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: near in the middle of the platform, and say two
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: trains were coming down your way, going the same way,
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: but going slow, and all you saw was the cart windows.
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: That's exactly. You would just be like like all these
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: different images and scenes. And then around that time is
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: when I'll start to actually start feeling physical shit now
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: that they'll stop being physical stuff that comes along with it.
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: It will almost start to feel like a fluttering in
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: my body. It will start down by my feet and
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: it'll like it's gonna sound crazy. I don't know if
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: you ever seen like the movie Tron where the guy
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: like starts getting like they start zapping them and like
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: sucking them into the computer. It's like if they started
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: at my feet and started going up, and it's like like,
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: I'll start feeling this feeling out at my feet, and
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: by the time it gets up to my knees, anything
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: below my feet I don't feel anymore. I mean, anything
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: below my knees, I don't feel anymore. It feels like
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: it's not even there, Like I'm just actually like non
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: existent there anymore. And it starts to spread and start
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: to go up, and it literally starts to feel.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Like like you're actually disappearing.
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: You don't feel it anymore, but all the energy in
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: your body starts to feel like it's starting to compress
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: come up here. So now I'm seeing all this stuff
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: and like I'm starting to feel this feeling. I'm like, yoh,
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: what the fuck is this? And yeah, home wid It
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: didn't freak me out because I guess maybe I wasn't
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: like too worried about anything serious. So uh, I'm going on,
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: you know, I'm feeling that, and then uh, yeah, the
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: windows start going and there's there was one time when
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: I paid attention to the window and I could get
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: into that, but basically like I saw things in there,
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: but I really wasn't too like, oh what the fuck
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: is that. I'm just like thinking, like I'm just like, so,
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: what's gonna come next?
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: I just really just think it was just like a free, weird,
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: you know movie my mind was making up.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: And then yeah, they go.
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: Away, and then I started feeling that energy going through
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: my body and all of a sudden, it feels like,
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: and I've explained this before, it's like maybe if I
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: was laying on the beach and like somehow it sounds crazy.
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: I cut the soles off on my feet and let
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: the water. When the water broke and came up the beach,
• 44:20
  Speaker 4: like it would like roll right through you, like go
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: through your body, fill you up, and go right out
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: out of you. Like literally felt like I was feeling
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: a stream of water starting to flutter through me. And
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, it comes up like up
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: to my head and then like right back here where
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: the Jews put their hat. It felt like all of
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: a sudden, it was just like something was like literally
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: like spray.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: A leaking out of my fucking head.
• 44:44
  Speaker 4: And as that's happening, there's the clips is the black
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: part is starting to separate from the white, and now
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: it just looks like this crescent. I got this big,
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: like you know, I have this black sphere with this
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: white one behind it, and it moved up a little
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: bit and I have this big like crescent or like
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: fucking cheshire cat fucking smile staring at me, and it's
• 45:02
  Speaker 4: getting really fucking bright, and it starts the movie again
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: and go away. And as soon as the black sphere
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: pulls away from the white one, it's like, all of
• 45:10
  Speaker 4: a sudden, like when I was pushing on my pineal gland.
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: The whole time, it felt like something like just changed
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: and like somehow like changed polarity, and all of a sudden,
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: all that pressure came back at me and that white
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: light came flying towards like towards me with my eyes
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: closed in boom, all of a sudden, it felt like
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: I just fucking shot out of the back of my head.
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: It felt like I just turned into like a thousand butterflies,
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: and my whole vision just felt like like everything was
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: just starting to I was getting like pulled and like
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: whatever I'm witnessing, my body isn't there, and it's like
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: I'm just actually it's gonna sound crazy. I'm like part
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: of the fabric of what I'm looking at and all
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: and like all I feel just sound crazy, but like
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: I really mean it. Like it was a love that
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: I could never experience here on earth or I haven't yet.
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: It was a feeling that I could never get from drugs.
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: It's a feeling I could never get. It's a feeling
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: I could never get from loving somebody or you know,
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: a wife, a friend of my family, brother.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: Whatever like that.
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: It was totally beyond that by a thousand, and it
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: just literally felt like my body or my whatever I
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: was was just vibrating that feeling, and it's just like
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: I'm just like witnessing. It's gonna sound crazy, but a
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: lot of the stuff that I saw, I would be like,
• 46:24
  Speaker 4: you know, it looks like shit. NASA would show it
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: like was just like blackness and just like lights and
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: colors and almost like space. And you know, it always
• 46:34
  Speaker 4: it ends up all last the bit and then all
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: of a sudden, for some reason, I'll start to think
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: like where am I or what am I doing or
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: what's going on? And as soon as I start thinking
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: about that, it fucking comes out of it. And so
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: like I came out of it the first time, and
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: then I always like all of a sudden, I opened
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: up my eyes when I came out of it, and
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: I saw it all of a sudden, just having this
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: serious well first off as it felt even weird, like
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: I actually.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Felt like there was like something like almost wrong with me,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: like I was.
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: It's gonna sound crazy, but another reason why I think
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: there's something going on with your soul, because it honestly
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: feels like I was an overcharged battery, like I just
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: shoved myself back in there and I was like, no,
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: I don't want Like it was like I was stuffed
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: with too much or something it's hard to explain, like
• 47:18
  Speaker 4: I was ready to bust out of my seams again,
• 47:21
  Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, all these things start fluttering
• 47:25
  Speaker 4: into my mind where it's it's gonna sound crazy, but
• 47:27
  Speaker 4: this is something I've said that this has happened to
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: me every time I fucked with magic. I'd be honest,
• 47:32
  Speaker 4: I fucked with magic for this reason. I will open
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: up my eyes and no shit, I never knew prior.
• 47:38
  Speaker 4: It's all of a sudden, you just start getting these
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: fucking voices or these fucking images in your head, and
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: it starts like putting puzzles together, and you start getting
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: these ideas or things that you didn't understand. All of
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: a sudden, the answer is screaming in your fucking head.
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: So like I have for these I don't know how long.
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: All I've been doing is studying the occult and you know,
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: images tarot, so it's like that's the only shit in
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: my head. So everything just starts fucking going together and
• 47:58
  Speaker 4: all these things just start and I'm like, what the fuck.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: And then when I started taking into consideration that death
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: might actually be real.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: Then it just seemed like.
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: You if you actually put that in there, a lot
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: of stuff and occultism starts to make more fucking sense,
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: I actually think. But so I had that experience. One
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: of the things too, from that experience that happens to
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: me every time is my pupils will change. One of
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: them will get pinned and the other one will get huge.
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I don't know if this guy
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: has an issue. I had seen one video because people
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: were making fun of him or saying, what the fuck's
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: up with it? And I made a comment that that
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: happens to me when I have a magical experience. And
• 48:35
  Speaker 4: then someone's like, oh, he's got so and so problems
• 48:37
  Speaker 4: with the Liver King, and he was acting out, going crazy,
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: talking shit to Joe Rogan and that motherfucker's got one
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: pupil gigantic and the other one's fucking small. And I've
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: said before, I said, if you fuck with magic too much,
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: you'll end up like Joe Biden and Kanye West. I mean,
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: the Liver King was kind of acting like either one
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: of them at that point. Maybe he was fucking with magic,
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: maybe he was a little bit too out there. And
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: he was just fucking you. He wasn't he didn't reacclimate
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: to reality yet, and he was just acting silly and stupid.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: But uh, that will happen to me.
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: And I even at one point, at one point, I
• 49:09
  Speaker 4: ended up fucking around with Magic probably about three times
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: in a week. And I will be totally honest with you.
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: That put me physically and mentally. I was just like, yo,
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: I need to go to the hospital. I think there's
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: something wrong with me.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, well that sounds crazy.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: And the shit with my eyes was freaking me out too,
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: because it was like, what the fuck is wrong with
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: my eyeballs?
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, why is one gigantic and the other
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: one small?
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: I was like, it's kind fucking weird, and it felt
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: like it felt like I was like again, like I
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: felt like somebody like hooked me up to a battery
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: charger and now I was like, you gotta one plug me.
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna fucking explode. Like I can't even release the energy.
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: I know they go fast enough. So I was just
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: like even felt uncomfortable. I literally felt like I had
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: fucking static electricity. That was another thing, like literally up
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: and down my legs. Bro At one point, I was like, yo,
• 49:52
  Speaker 4: it's like either it feels like static or it's like,
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: you know, am I going crazy?
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: Thing?
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: I got spiders on me, you know. I was like, oh,
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: I gotta get the fuck out of you. I was like, yo,
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: I think there's something wrong.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Yo, my too. That was another thing.
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: I was even like before I left, this is crazy,
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: but like it was only a few blocks away, but
• 50:06
  Speaker 4: like I'm you know, I'm like all fucked up. I
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: physically don't feel you know, my legs are even twitching,
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: my eyes, you know, my sight he's even like a
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: little love. I drove myself to the park and I
• 50:16
  Speaker 4: was like, let me just chill out over there and
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: walk around. Maybe I'll feel a little bit better. I'm
• 50:19
  Speaker 4: walking through the fucking park and it's like, you know,
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: I'm like looking down at the distance and you could
• 50:23
  Speaker 4: see like somebody would be walking up with their dog,
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: and instead of like me seeing them just like walking
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: normally with their dog, They're showing up as like light
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: shooting out of the ground and then forming into a
• 50:32
  Speaker 4: person and their dog, and I'm just like, yo, what
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: the fuck.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, just something wrong with me. So I
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: was like, fuck this.
• 50:40
  Speaker 4: I drove myself to the hospital ten minutes down the road.
• 50:43
  Speaker 4: I was like, yo, I was like, what the fuck
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: is wrong. I'll be honest, I was freaked out at first.
• 50:49
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm like, seeing shit, that's not normal. I'm
• 50:50
  Speaker 4: having physical issues. I didn't feel good. I went to
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: the hospital. They ended up keeping me there for like
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: two or three days. Basically said we think you have migraines.
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: But the one thing that I thought was interesting is
• 51:02
  Speaker 4: that they checked my blood and they did say, uh
• 51:05
  Speaker 4: yahemoglobin is jacked up to like sixteen point nine. I
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: think it's supposed to be around thirteen or fourteen. They
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: had to give me a bag of blood and a
• 51:13
  Speaker 4: bag of saline, and then they're like, you know, you
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: might want to They had me go to a place
• 51:16
  Speaker 4: to where they thought I actually had this issue where
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: some people they don't know why the hemoglobin will get
• 51:22
  Speaker 4: jacked up and you'll have to go once a month
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: to like get blood to kind.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: Of basically thin you out. I'm like, oh my.
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: God, Like, who the fuck, how the fuck can you
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: get this? I don't have it. Because I went the
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: next time and they're like you're good. They're like, you
• 51:34
  Speaker 4: don't need anything, come back one more time, just to
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: make sure. You know, we think it's probably a fluke.
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: It was just a weird thing that happened to you.
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: Never happened again. So but something that is interesting, though
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: I don't know much about it. I gotta get like
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: me and my co host Lie, so we need to
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: really like look into it more. But like that issue
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: does also involve plasma in your blood, which basically is
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: like light. So I do wonder if, like you know,
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: when they get into the hole your adrenochrome with that
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: type of shit, is there actually something in your blood
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: that you're burning up when you're or that you're utilizing,
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: you're using or you're depleting or whatever when you have
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: a magical experience.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that.
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but uh so like you know, and then you know,
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: eventually believe it. And I took about a month my
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: eyes to go back to normal.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: Holy shit.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, even I was in the hospital for
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: three days. And then I think my uh, eye doctor
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: because they were like, your eyes seem fine, but this
• 52:31
  Speaker 4: isn't normal, so you.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: Should really go see its specialist.
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: They're all like, yeah, there's gotta be something that's gotta
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: be something here.
• 52:38
  Speaker 6: Yo.
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: Even when I went to go see this lady, she
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: you know, did all these says and she's like, I
• 52:43
  Speaker 4: can't tell you what the problem is. And she's like,
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: the thing is like your eyesight's fine, like you're seeing
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: everything fine, So I can't even tell you, like if
• 52:49
  Speaker 4: it's a problem or not. She's and I did say,
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: it looked like it got a little bit smaller since
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: I've seen her, you know, it got better.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: So she's like, maybe we'll just go back to normal.
• 52:58
  Speaker 4: And then I was like, yo, I was like, this
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: sound crazy because even when I had this magical experience
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: with these last few I don't remember which one it was,
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: something started me thinking, oh, it was probably because of
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: my eyes getting fucked up. Something started making me thinking
• 53:11
  Speaker 4: you gotta look into the eyeballs, like whatever, this is
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: like something up with the eyes.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: I have a feeling.
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: And I was just like I had asked her. I
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: was like, goes these sound crazy? I said, but is
• 53:20
  Speaker 4: it possible to where you could like actually look back
• 53:22
  Speaker 4: into your brain? You know, is there a wayhere you
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: could shine light back there? And then she starts going no.
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: She's like she's like no, She's like impossible, for your
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: eye to actually turned back there.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: And she's like well, and she's like, well, let me
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: like explain to.
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: Your real quick how vision works so you can even
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: understand why I'm saying that's not possible. And she starts
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: drawing like how like the light reflects off of your
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: lens and everything, but how it will go back into
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: your eye. So she is explaining like you know it
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: does reflect actually, but your eye is not turning, and
• 53:51
  Speaker 4: she's drawing this thing and I'm like, yo. I was like,
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: it's the same fucking thing on my own. Lady, she
• 53:58
  Speaker 4: legit drew the fucking basically that as showing me how
• 54:01
  Speaker 4: the light reflects off of my eye, my eyelind, my lens,
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: and I fucking showed on my tattoo. I said, Yo,
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: kind of looks like that, doesn't it. And she's looking
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: at that. She's like, she's like, yo, she what's that from?
• 54:16
  Speaker 4: I'm into magic and she's looking at me. I say
• 54:20
  Speaker 4: A secret society and she's looking at me. She's like yo,
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh fuck, I totally waited. This lady
• 54:25
  Speaker 4: was like what the fuck? I wish I would have
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: kept in touch with her, but she was like, do
• 54:29
  Speaker 4: you think it's possible you could get the paperwork from
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: your hospital about like your old Because I explained to
• 54:33
  Speaker 4: the whole thing. I was like, yeah, why, She's like,
• 54:35
  Speaker 4: I really like to look at it. And she's like,
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: especially like some of the other stuff. She's like, I'm
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: very open. She's like, I think, how did she say?
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: She's like, I think there's a lot of things out
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: there that we can't see her in the stand, but
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: it's real.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh shit. I never I never
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: got back in touch with her. I ever sent her
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: this shit over. But yeah, I totally fucked her up.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: But she saw it.
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: She never even finished. She never even finished explaining what
• 54:57
  Speaker 4: she was trying to explain because I showed her that shiit.
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: He was like yo, what yeah, and then started asking
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: me about the paperwork to send the I never did,
• 55:05
  Speaker 4: but I was like, yo, I must have got her attention.
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: She did even finish what she was saying.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she was intrigued. Yeah. Yeah, She's like I
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: always thought there was something.
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, so uh but yeah, I mean that was
• 55:19
  Speaker 4: I mean, it was probably quicker than I've told some
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: other times. It probably wasn't as a fantastical, but like
• 55:24
  Speaker 4: that was like, you know, my magical experiences.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: I do believe that, as crazy as it sounds.
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: And again it's not to get brownie points, but I
• 55:33
  Speaker 4: do think to have an experience with God, you do
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: have to kind of separate the flesh from the soul.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: I don't think like God is gonna I mean, I
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: believe God is in everything, but I think if you
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: really want to go back to the source, you kind
• 55:45
  Speaker 4: of have to go to God. God's not coming to you.
• 55:48
  Speaker 4: I feel, if I even want to look at it cabalistically,
• 55:51
  Speaker 4: it's just the way I look at it. I turned
• 55:53
  Speaker 4: my back from God and walked away from him. It
• 55:56
  Speaker 4: her you know, He's still there, just waiting for me
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: to come back.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: I think I think he'll put like opportunities for you
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: to seek him out.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, constantly, constantly.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: For I've talked about this on the show.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've talked about this a few times on the
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: podcast My Kids. All of a sudden, well, my son
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: originally randomly started talking about God, and he started he
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: made a TikTok where he posts uh uh scripture like
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: just like a pair like the paragraphs out of the
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: Bible and stuff. I don't know if he's like doing
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: it all the time, but he had He did start
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: one and he was talking to me.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: He was talking to me about God and whatnot.
• 56:45
  Speaker 3: And I asked him if he believed, and he goes, yeah,
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: I do, and and.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Stuff like that.
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden, my my daughter is like,
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: can I get for Christmas? This is this just this
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: past Christmas? She was, can I get a Bible instead
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: of an iPad? And I was like, you can definitely
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: get a Bible instead of an iPad. But I'm going
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: to tell you this right now. Your mother already bought
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: you an iPad, so you're getting the iPad either way.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: But like to me, that was like, hey, man, come
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: back to me kind of thing, Like, I like, the
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: most beneficial the best way to.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: Get to me is through my kids. And that was
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: negative or.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: Positive if you want to if you want to get
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: to me positively, you do something that's good with my kids.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: You want to get a negative reaction, you do something
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: negative with my kids, and you know, then there's a
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: possibility that I'll be in jail if you do something
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: negative with my kids.
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: I definitely know what you mean though, Yeah, definitely definitely
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: way to catch at three kids.
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it definitely sparked something in me to where I'm
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: just like, dude, what is going on? And I'm like
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: at the point where now I think I want to
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: get baptized. Shit, oh nice, so go for it.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I.
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: Had to do that.
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: It's been an issue for the longest time with me.
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: But like like you said, like you're never gonna shut
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: your brain completely.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: Off, it would be nice.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: But if you could just focus on something one one thing,
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: or even if maybe two things and just kind of
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: hone in on that, I think that that would be beneficial.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: And I think nature plays a lot into into being
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: able to quiet yourself and to find yourself too. Like
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: spent spent connecting yourself to earth, grounding yourself as as beneficial.
• 58:39
  Speaker 4: That was one thing, and I swear sometimes I wonder
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: if I had anything to do with it. But before
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: I started having my magical experiences, I was like severely
• 58:47
  Speaker 4: spending a lot of time.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: A like parks or in nature, you know.
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: And honestly it was more or less because of the
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: whole situation with COVID. I wasn't somebody wanted to be
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: stuck inside, So I was like well, like go to
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: the parks because like people are too scaredy go there.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: So it's like, you know, it's kind of empty, you know.
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: So I was even spending a lot of time just
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: even out in nature and shit. So I have actually wondered,
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: like did that have anything to do with it? Because
• 59:10
  Speaker 4: I'm sure, honestly my experience was probably due to a
• 59:13
  Speaker 4: concoction of things that made that happen.
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm sure, oh yeah, yeah, this is this
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: you're ac cultic knowledge. And then obviously like I think
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: that's what I think, tying the nature thing into it,
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: and and then you you're just doing it, you know,
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: just get get trying to get into that meditation shit,
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: and it's like, hey man, you're gonna see some shit.
• 59:39
  Speaker 4: No, That's the one thing I will say too, even
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: when it comes to like magic, uh, I think sometimes
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: like people like if they want to get into it,
• 59:47
  Speaker 4: like you know, if you take my experience as you know,
• 59:50
  Speaker 4: it's true, you may get answers to God may tell
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: you things that were like shit, I wasn't ready for
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: that one.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: Bro mm hmm.
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: Like you might hear some hard truths that you might
• 59:58
  Speaker 4: have to accept, you know, like for me, it rocked
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 4: my world and changed my view of reality. I could
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 4: never go back. It's like a you know, once you
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 4: becomes a pickle, you can't go back.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: It's done.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you're like, funk, I ain't ship. I Like,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 4: I'm like, fuck, yo, for real, I really at ship?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 4: This is unreal and uh yeah no, but you know,
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 4: there was just like for me, it's just like, you know,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 4: for certain things of my reality, just for me, you know,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: or even just being like, I'll be totally honest what
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: it was hard for me to accept. I was like,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 4: I just had the most beautiful, beyond dreams experience and
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 4: I have to come back here.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: That's not fair. That's I'm like, yo, what did I
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: do wrong? Man?
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: Like, why did you send?
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, is this hell?
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: But I was just like it's getting very close. It's
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: like on the urge.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think what somebody say, Uh, we're like the
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 4: worst part of heaven and the best part of hell.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: We're stuck in between.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: Oh man, purgatory too.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck that would be, but
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 3: that sounds maybe that's you crazy? This could yeah this actually, yeah,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: this could be purgatory.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: Even religious people do wonder that too.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like we're because we're waiting to die essentially, that's
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: all we're doing here, so and then from there that's.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Where we're going to wherever. I don't know.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: There's so there's so many things that, so many different
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: things about death that I believe or that I'm like,
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 3: oh well maybe, or that I want to believe, Like
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 3: there's things like for our souls to live on, Like
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: I want to believe that.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Right, I do believe that.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 4: Actually I was always kind of like iffy about that,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 4: but from my magical experience, for some reason for me,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: it's just I do believe in reincarnation.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, reincarnation scary because then like reincarnation, you don't remember.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: Who you were exactly.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 4: That's that's that's a scary part of it. I guess
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 4: that's what makes you have to have the journey all
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: over again, right, I don't know.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the new new lessons to learn and all that ship.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: So I do believe like anger has been anger and
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: patience were like I had to overcome anger and learn
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 3: patience is what I think has been my.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: Journey in this life has been.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: And I think talking to a couple of mediums and
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: stuff like that. I think that's been what I have
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: been supposed to be learning throughout a few lifetimes now,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: and I just haven't gotten there yet.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean, who knows, who knows.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: I spent a lot of my life being angry and
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: now I'm just more like me fearful.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, Nick man, dude, that was a crazy experience
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 3: that I want to explore more knowledge and into that,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: into that stuff for sure.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: Even rituals and stuff too. I could you know, not.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: Whatever, you know what I'm saying, explain h Yeah, yeah, right,
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: but you're definitely I definitely want to have you come
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: back on soon.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: So but if you.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: Don't mind, let everybody know one last time where they
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: can find you and all all your show and stuff.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: Sure, thank you very much. Uh yeah, the Occult rechecks.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 4: It's on bit shoot, Rumble, YouTube, all major podcasts.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 6: Uh.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: Then we do have I forgot to mention it before,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 4: Occult Research Institute dot org. We do have that website
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: that is a lot of the occult rejecks or people
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: that we work with that if you're into reading a
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: lot of long form reading, a lot of us even
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 4: like scientific paperwork, that somebody's put up there on orgone
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: that they've done. You know, there's a lot of reading
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 4: and there might be some videos. You know, we have
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: some people that might have added some of their YouTube videos.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: But if you're into reading, there's a lot of information
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 4: on that website and it's free, so check it out.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: Cult Research Institute dot org and the Ocult Rejects on
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 4: the one Major podcast.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: Nice man, Nice.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: One last question I have for you real quick before
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: I let you go, is are you finding fulfillment in
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: your life doing your podcast and all that stuff?
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 4: I actually is going to sound cheesy as hell, but
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: after my magical experience, I actually do believe that if
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: I was given a gift from God, the only thing
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 4: I should be doing with that is trying to help
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 4: others have the same experience. And part of my podcasting
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: is doing that. So yes, it's fulfilling me and I
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 4: do believe I'm doing my will.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: Actually.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: Dope, man, Dope, I like that.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: Well, man, thank you for taking the time to do this.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: I know you didn't want to do it in the morning.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: No, No, it was perfectly fine.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 4: Get it out of the dam. I'm gonna head to
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 4: the gym. Now woke me up. I'm ready to go curv. Yeah,
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 4: all right, I'm gonna do the same thing.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: I'm also to.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: All right, all right.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 3: For the listeners, thank you for being here. Please check
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: out Nick Show if you haven't already. But other than that,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: please like, follow, share, subscribe, leave a rating and review.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: Those are the freeways to help support the show and
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: help it grow. Also, if your podcascher doesn't allow you
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: to leave a rating and review, please consider doing so
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: on the website where the weird Ones are podcast dot com.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: It is also where you can get merch.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: Much like the shirt behind me, there's a whole bunch
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: of other designs, hot sauce, coffee, and supplements.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: Suck him out, okay, yeah, like Iron from New England.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: I was telling you about that. You don't know he
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: makes his own hot soss too. No shit, I gotta
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: put you in touch with this guy.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: God damn, I'm gonna have to look him up, all right,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: all right?
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So other than that, guys, you know the drill,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: question everything, and stay weird.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 6: Close your runs, look into the darkness, find the blazing story.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 6: Focus may be called the eclipse. Don't feel that the
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 6: show'll be done, And does
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: You the shoes