Latest / Dear Chelsea / Scheduling Sex with Atsuko Okatsuka

Transcript

Scheduling Sex with Atsuko Okatsuka · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Hi, How are you, hi, Chelsea?
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: You've got some interesting looking fish behind you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: I'm in Greece. I'm in Paro's, Greece with my family.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: It's my sister's sixtieth birthday. So there are twelve women,
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: eleven women here from our family, my sisters, my nieces,
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: my cousins, my aunt and my Oh my god, am
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: I going to say, great niece.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to say that.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: We can fudge the numbers there.
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: It's fine, Please please fudge them.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: That's wonderful. How long How long are you guys there?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: How long are you going to be there?
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: We're on a Roman holiday.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: We've been here for two days, three days, and we're
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: here for a full week and it's beautiful and it's
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: Grecian and we are eating the best food in the world,
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: and our family is together and without so like, there
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: is really nothing better than being with all the women
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: in your life.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: Without men. I mean, there were no men that even
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: come to the house to like work at the house.
• 0:57
  Speaker 5: It's all women.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: My aunt goes, do you only request female chefs? I'm like, no,
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: but that's a great idea.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: I was listening to some interview with a pop star
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: who shall not be named, and she was like, you know,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: usually I'm the only woman in the room. And I
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: was like, you're big enough that that's your choice. So
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that you're choosing to be with all women.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Just makes things a little more peaceful.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: Totally, meg and more reasonable.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Like last night, all the girls, the young girls made
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: dinner together and they made fish tacos and it was
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Jordan and Charlie and Ella and they were all just like,
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: it was so cute to see these little butterflies roaming around,
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: like going from the outdoor kitchen to the indoor kitchen
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: and we're just sitting there like, you know, I'm drinking
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: obviously because that's what I do, and I was just
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: observing it. I was like, this is so sweet, you know,
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: watching all of the family members kind of you know, interrelate.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: It's just so sweet. We have so many girls in
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: our family, so it's so nice.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's great that like everybody seems like they
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: vibe really well.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: And if there is any sort of you know, interpersonal.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: It's me, by the way, I'm always the problem. So
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: I'm always the biggest problem.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Excellent, Well, I'm glad. We you know, we're all self aware.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: We can take a responsibility for our stuff.
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: Awesome.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Well, Chelsea, you have some new dates coming up?
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm adding some dates. Well, I'm doing Vegas on
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: July fifth, so.
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: Come to that.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: And I added a couple of stand up dates to
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: round out the year. I'm doing Westhampton Beach August twenty first,
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I will be in NAPA on October third, So that's
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: how I'm rounding out the year. I feel slightly guilty
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: about being in Europe during everything that's happening in America,
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: but I also feel like I'm gathering my strength.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, you have to like sharpen the acts before you
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: can go back to work.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: And also like you are someone.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Because you have such a large following. It's like you
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: can also still be doing the work from other places
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: and you are.
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: So I think that's great.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: Thanks Koth.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a lovely returning guest who we love today.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Oh yeh, so we love her and she has a
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: new special called Father out on Hulu which you all
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: must go watch. And you know how much we love
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: female comedians on this podcast, So please welcome Otsco oh Kotskott.
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: Chelsea, my daughter is that you?
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Uh, you're my ba, You're my baby and I'm your mother.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: That's all right.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not your daughter.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: You're my baby and my baby got a new bowl
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: cut because it looks very, very fresh.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Did you just cut it right now?
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she's been trimming it. She's talking about your work current,
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: she's so you're here here, I'll put this.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Is kurn and if you're not watching on YouTube, just
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: so you know, Osco's finishing up a haircut right now.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: I don't know if her cut actually I thought maybe
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: her cut. Her hair actually just starts cutting itself when
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: it gets too long.
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: Well, let's not talk about that, Chelsea.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: I have you out of a jump.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, copy that. So there is somebody tending to it.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Okay like a gardener. Okay, got it.
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: I'm a yes ahead, guys, thank you, I am yeah, no,
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: can you believe? Yeah? This is today for I said,
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna see Chelsea, let's get that pristine cut going.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: And Hi, Catherine, Hi, how are you?
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: Otsco? Okotska's here? Everybody?
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: If that took me a long time to say that
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: name properly, and now it just rolls right off the tongue.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Otsko Okotska. You're gonna tell me I'm saying it wrong,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: are you?
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: No, not at all? And it was and it was
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: Shell say yeah, Shelley, Actually, we love, we love. We
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: love a woman that's always updating herself.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: You know, absolutely, I mean, yeah, there's so many seasons
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: to being a woman.
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: It's just it's always a surprise your own body.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Now that I'm fifty, I'm like, oh god, so many
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: different things. Like I remember when I when I was younger,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: my boobs were so big, right, they were so big.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: And now as I've gotten more in shape and like
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: leaner and older, they've gotten to the exact size that
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: I like, they're not too much, like I can contain them,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: and like all of the different changes that you go
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: through in your body. Like I always heard such negative
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: things about aging, and I have to say, I'm having
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: a positive aging experience, and I wish the same for you, Otsco,
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: because I know you're not old.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: How old are you?
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: I'm thirty six.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Thirty six, okay, so I'm fourteen years older than you,
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: And I want you to know, well, you're Asian, so
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: your aging experience is already going to be superior to Caucasians.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Asian aging aging experience, aging is not to be used
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: with Asians.
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: Hey, happy aging months, which is me? Happy ag Yeah,
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: which is me? Yeah? Anyway, you know yeah, wait right,
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: I'm wondering. Have we started recording?
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we're recording. Yeah, what is wrying?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: He's rolling for you?
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: Incredible? No, I was like, we're catching up so good already.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: No, No, we're all we're going to use all of this.
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: Don't worry.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: We want our audience to know the ins and outs
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: of all of our relationships. No.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: I appreciate that what you just said about that aging.
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: I don't relate to the big boobs, to the finally
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: good boobs or like perfect size boobs. For me, it's
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: always been the same.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: Double A since you were born pretty much.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, which is nice. I like consistency, so.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and a double A.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: That's almost like you don't even have to wear a bra,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: right or do you do you wear bra?
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: I was being humble. I just realized I'm actually a
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: b thank you.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: Oh excuse me? Oh I didn't realize that. So you've
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: graduated now, you're a bee.
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: Okay, and my grandma d's double d's who knew. Yeah.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: See, some people get bigger boobs as they get older.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Did she always have bigger boobs?
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: We never. I don't think she ever was measured until
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: more recently when we were buying bras for her and
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: she didn't seem faced because it's not like she really
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: has girlfriends that she talks about bra sizes with. So
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: I said, Grandma, what was the measurement? She goes thirty
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: six double D like a softlex. My jaw dropped and
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: she said, what, that's not normal? I said, I mean,
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: it's not what I have. I thought we were related.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Otsco has a new special out on Hulu. It's called Father.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: By the time this comes out, your special will be airing.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: This is your sophomore special on Hulu and Disney It's
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: called Father. Now, without giving away any of the jokes
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: in the special, why did you call it Father?
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: Well, so I do talk a little bit about reconnecting
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: with my dad in it, but also, like my fans
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: call me mother. You know, we were talking about well,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: I call you mother, but my friends call me mother,
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: and you know, but mothers have it together, right, so
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: I'm more.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Father, right, you know, I'm also kind of more of
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: a father than a mother.
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: A stepfather is where I come into my own you know.
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, where we're like both thriving in life, but sometimes
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: clueless about everyday basics, like we're like the sun and
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: the moon are different. Or that was you but you know,
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: thank you just and or that I didn't know I
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: hadn't been doing the laundry for the past seven years,
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: like that kind of thing.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: Who but Ran is Ryan doing the laundry.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Ryan is Otsco's husband, Yes, who I refer to as
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: her captor because he takes care of all things Otsco.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: And if Otsco didn't have Ryan in her life, Otsco,
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: she probably wouldn't even be alive.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: I would live outside and and you know and maybe thrive,
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: you know, because of my personality. But Ryan is mother. Yeah,
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: he's the one that's been doing the laundry this whole time.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: We were both surprised though. It was like this devastating
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: moment where we both realized, wait, that means you, that
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: means it's been you this whole time.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: And that was a surprise to you.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it alway was it a surprise to Ryan,
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: who was doing the laundry.
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: Yes, because sometimes you just go, oh, here's fresh new laundry,
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: and you forget that, you know what I mean. We
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: sometimes you just don't know you're the one that's been
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: doing it. And the times he's not doing it, he
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: thought I'd been doing mine, but I just wasn't washing
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: my clothes, right.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: I believe No, No, it doesn't make sense at all,
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: but I believe you. I believe you when I when
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: I come to Whistler, I don't have a housekeeper here.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: It couldn't be farther afield than my life in La
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: or my life anywhere else for that matter. But I
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: have a cleaning lady that comes like once a week
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: and that's it. And my place here is small enough
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: that I can't really blow anything up. But when I
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: first came here for two weeks in COVID, I was
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: using the I was washing my own clothes for the
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: first time in many, many years, and I was using
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: the dryer as a washer, and I was putting the
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: detergent in the dryer, and then my clothes would come
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: out and they were like stained and tide eyed. They
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: were dry, though, and so I was so confused because
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: the dryer's on top of the washer, the washers, and
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: it's like one of those stacked things. And so for
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: the longest time I was like, I don't understand. It's like,
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I can't be this bad at washing clothes, and and
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: it struck me that I was. Yes, that was a
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: big wake up call for me. I thought, Wow, you're
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: a real fucking idiot.
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, me too. Why are we twins? Yeah,
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: And we don't look like Choin's but we have a
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: lot in common.
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, we're literally fra turtle.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: We're fraternal. We're fraternal from different continents.
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: In the seventh grade, I did have blonde hair, so
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: I did wonder yeaheah.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Well that was you looking for your real mother. So
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: you were in the New York Times talking about the
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: joke that changed your life. It says that there's a
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: joke that Tig Nataro told that What was that joke
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: from Tig It's.
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: Called no moleste if we name jokes, right, And yeah,
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: it's just about how when she was performing in Mexico. Right,
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: every time she's in a hotel, she puts that do
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: not disturb sign up but in Spanish it's no moleeste
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: and you just laugh if you're like an English speaker,
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: because you know that's scary to have to put that
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: up every night.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: And so, by the way, we should have signs that's
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: say that at our hotel rooms in America anyway, we
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: should have signs that say no molested.
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: You know what, Actually, that's very true. That joke didn't
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: age well, because these days you do need that.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Literally, I remember that joke from Tig. Tig has a
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: great joke writing ability. You do that too, because you
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: have great jokes, but you're also telling personal stories.
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: So you combine the two because you know.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: There's comics that just tell jokes, set up, premise, set up,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: and like a punchline. Whereas many comedians are storytellers, I'm
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: a storyteller. I tell stories, and there are jokes within
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: the stories and punchlines within the stories. But you blend
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: both of those things together. I think very nicely.
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: Thank you. I mean, we all didn't live forty years
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: each year like you did. You know what I mean?
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: Where every time I hear your stories, I'm like, okay,
• 11:44
  Speaker 5: but she's only eight years old and she already did
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: what she's she's spiking people's lemonades. You know what I mean,
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: like you know at a young age.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: Yeahah, yeah, I know what you mean.
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I need to blend, you know, sometimes jokes about
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: them because I'm like, you know, big old things didn't
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: happen every month.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: Right, absolutely, I understand. Ots go.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: So, how has it been going with you and Ryan
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: on the road? What where have you guys been lately?
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, I can't I didn't see I haven't seen
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: you in almost like, I don't know, has it been
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: a year.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: I don't think it's been a year. I haven't seen
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: you since. We had a dinner party at my friend's
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: house while she was upstairs in her bedroom.
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: I know, right, we just took over her place and
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: her dinner time. I feel like we were just eating
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: your friend's tacos. It was meant for her kids, and
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: we were eating them.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: I said, I was staying at my friend Allison's house,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: and I was like, Alison, can I have some people
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: over for dinner tonight?
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: No, I wasn't even staying there.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I just said that was a good meeting point because
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: you guys are so far east and my house wasn't
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: really fully done, and I was dating someone at the time.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I had my mountain man there and I
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: was like, oh, let's all have dinner. And I was like,
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: this is a good middle spot. So I just called
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: my friend and she said, I said, can I have
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: some people over for dinner? And she's like, well, I'm
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: getting my eyelashes done and I'm like, no, no, you're
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: not invited, Like can I have people over for dinner?
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: And we're doing our own thing and she's like, oh,
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: oh oh yeah absolutely. So that was the last time
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: I think we saw each other, right.
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, It's like a very classic hangout with Chelsea
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: handler moment. Yeah, we're at one point we were hanging out,
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: drinking tequilas, eating tacos. I went inside and saw kids.
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: I screamed because for a second I was like, wait, right,
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: this isn't Chelsea's house. I was like, who are they?
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: Who are they? They're exactly their house.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Imagine how I felt when I saw the kids and
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: I was like, whoaa, I just asked to have a
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: dinner party here. I didn't sign up for this sort
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: of chicanery.
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: That's right. I didn't know we were all eating the
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: same meal. Oh this is your meal.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: Where are you on the subject of having children? Are
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: you ever going to procreate?
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: Do you think?
• 13:42
  Speaker 6: No?
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: Remember that's our sisterhood promise.
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: Okay, I just wanted to make sure nothing has changed.
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah. No, that biological clock they talk about that doesn't
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: exist within me. I don't even own a real clock, right,
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: So no, I don't you know that's such a big
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: thing that's supposedly quickly changes within you. No, it's not
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: like my favorite color changing.
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: Right, I understand that. So how has it been traveling
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: with Ryan? What have you guys learned?
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Like your relationship? You spend so much time with your husband.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know anyone who spends more time
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: with their with their husband. Do you guys ever fight?
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: We do? Yes, we do, But what do you fight about?
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: Mostly it's you know, oh, let's go. You have to
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: put the keys in the right place every time, the
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: same place. It's very simple, you know, it's a lot
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: of that. I do ask a lot of him because
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: he works with me and you know, for me, and
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: so yeah, sometimes it's that. And I've been I've been
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: keeping up. I've been trying to be more organized because
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: it's a reciprocal thing right, relationships. But we've we've been
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: we've been to Asia, We've been to Australia, New Zealand
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: and Europe with my tour together.
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: And you brought your Did you bring your grandmother or
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: your mother on one of those trips you, I mean,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: on a.
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: Couple of those trips, right.
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: I wanted to, but honestly they're too old now. So
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: uh yeah, So it's just me and Ryan, you know,
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: going to see parents together. Took him to a cabaret
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: that was fun, you know, and so yeah, I love
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: seeing different cultures. We love traveling together. And just based
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: on how people laugh, I feel like you can really
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: learn a lot about a culture, you know.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: Uh huh, Like why what culture surprised you?
• 15:24
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: Which cultures were the most surprising to you?
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: Okay, the Scandinavians really surprised me in a pleasant way.
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: I didn't know anything about them. I had seen the
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: movie Frozen. It's an animated movie. I said, is it
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: kind of like that?
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: You know?
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: And because I was so worried, I said, all my
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: life right in America, I've had to teach people how
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: to pronounce my name Otsko that you is there. But
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: it's silent, right, So I said, how am I gonna,
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: you know, connect to Norway? How am I going to
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: explain that to people in Iceland? Are they going to
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: understand me? Are they going to get my jokes? And
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: then I go there and they're like, bitch, my name
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: is thiro biro Jon's daughter. Okay, I have a one girl,
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: she said, my cousin. I have a cousin. Her name
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: is your four East is not a problem for me.
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: I felt so seen, you know what I mean? And
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: so I loved the Scandinavians. They are true weirdos. You're
• 16:20
  Speaker 5: doing Scandinavia too, right, Yes, yes, I.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: Think we're doing like sixteen shows, thirteen countries. Yes, So
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: I fucking love this schedule. I mean I would like
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: a little bit more downtime in between, but fuck it.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: I mean I go, you know what it's like, you
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: go at this pace and then you acclimate to this
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: pace and then you just survive it, like it's like
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: you're surviving your own.
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: Tour, right, totally. Yeah, we extended it. We did it
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: over a month. We have the same tour people. I
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: knew you were going to Europe. I was so excited.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: I was like ah, I want to tell her all
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: about it. And you know the I ranked the countries
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: based on shyest to liveliest that I've performed.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: In Okay, which and ones are the shyest.
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: Shyest number twenty eight. Sitting at number twenty eight is
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: the Belgians.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: Oh really.
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: My opener did a backflip to silence during his set
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: and then he had to that's the Belgians. He had
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: to then walk back to the mic, also in silence
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: because he was far away from it by then. Isn't
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: that wild?
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: That's good to know, though, That's good to know.
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: I'm going to Brussels, so I'll be there.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: What about the Swiss?
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: The Swiss? The Swiss, Oh, they were pretty lively, Actually
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: they were pretty They were more lively. The Swedish too,
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: and Parisians. I was told they're going to be very quiet,
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: but they were one of the liveliest crowds I had.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: They were very locals too. They're getting weirder and they're
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: getting into English speaking stand up. It's really beautiful.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, because half the places I'm going, I'm like,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: are we sure they speak English? My friend and who
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: lives in Sweden, he's like, listen, no one speaks English
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: and Sweden.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: I'm like, what are you fucking talking about.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: I've been there people, everyone speaks English and sweet He's like,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: nobody speaks English. So I don't know if he's fucking
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: with me. I assume he's fucking with me because I
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: just stopped responding. I don't like those kinds of antagonistic texts.
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: I agree. He just he just wants to see if
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: you'll get on stage and speak slower because you've been
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: lied to.
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: I know, I know.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: It's so hard for me to speak slowly. You know,
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: I just don't have that clip. Even when I was
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: recording my book, they're like, can you slow it down?
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: I'm like, that's not authentic. I'm like, me slowing down
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: my talking doesn't sound like how I tell a story.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: I have to tell a story like this. So yeah,
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: and so either they're going to catch on or they're not.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: The great thing is I'll just be in one place
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: for each day and then I'm out, so you know,
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: we'll see.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: Oh gosh, it was it was my favorite. Yeah, one
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: day is enough. I feel like my opener also was
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: newly single, so it's fun to see him going out
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: every night to hook up with different men, you know.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, oh yeah, of course I love that.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm bringing Yaminika to a few of my dates.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: You know, Yaminika, and she is me for Dick, So
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: we are hoping to just get her plucked left, right
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: and center throughout Europe. Europe is not going to know
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: what hit them once they meet Yaminika.
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, the two of you together arrested Ja.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: We have a real hard time together keeping our shit together.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: It's one bad decision after another.
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah you are You're that White Castle movie, Harold and
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: Kumar Kumar. Yeah, the two of you trying to find
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: weed in Sweden exactly.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, because I can't travel with drugs anymore because I've
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: talked so openly about my love for them, so I
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: can no longer transport them. So that leaves me with
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: having to find drugs when I get there. But luckily,
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: my reputation procedes itself, and people are very hip to
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: bringing as you've seen yourself, people are very hip to
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: bringing me drugs, and I encourage that.
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: That's where that's the only that's where our brands differ
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: a little bit. Where people do throw like mushrooms at
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: you from the crowd on the stage right. And then
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: for me, people show up to my shows in wigs
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: of my bull cut, so it's a little different. I'm
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: more I'm more like Mini Mouse, you know what I mean? Yeah, right, yeah, yeah,
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: and you're like, you're like Papa Smurf.
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: I'm more like Papa Smurf and you're more like Mini Mouse.
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: I knew it. Papas Murph was definitely a drug dealer.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: right back with Otsco.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: Okotska, We're back with Otsco.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're gonna take some callers. Catherine, what do we
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: what do we got in?
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: So this first one is a written one.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: This is Anne Marie. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: listener in the UK. I listen every week and love
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: the show. This is an off pieced topic, but one
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: that I'd love for you to answer. I'm a writer,
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: mainly TV comedy shows and more recently I turned my
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: attention to drama. I'm the same age as you, Chelsea,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: and I want to write a show to perform myself.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: It'll be kind of stand up. But despite my my
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: ability around creating a story. I don't really know where
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: to start with stand up. Do I just go to
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: a comedy club and watch and learn? Do I just
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: get up? My TV writing centers on complicated female dynamics,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: and I'd love to expand on that. I'm not exactly
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: shy and retiring, but I've never done anything near stand up.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: So I'd love your advice as I love your comedy
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: and the way you present yourself in the world. I'm
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: also super impressed slash envious by how you vacation, the people,
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: the locations, the edibles. Anyway, thank you, Anne, Marie, Oh
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: and Marie.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Well, that's easy ots go. Don't you think you got
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: to get up on stage? First of all, you have
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: to just get up on stage, and you don't have
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: to have a huge plan. You have to have like
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: five minutes of an idea, like you if you have
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: like three or four premises. I mean, some people beat
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: out every single joke that they're going to tell, and
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: your storytelling will evolve once you start getting comfortable being
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: on stage. So I wouldn't worry about getting into the
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: story so much as I would be as just getting
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: staged high in front of people and exercising that muscle.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: Have a couple of.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Jokes, but they don't have to be like, you don't
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: have to have fifteen jokes set up. You can take
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: your time, like connecting with the audience, doing crowd work,
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: asking questions, because that could spur something in you, and
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: that could spur a joke. You know, It's very easy
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: to talk to people and then get a new idea
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: about how to come back with something.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: But the most important thing is to get on stage.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: Just get on stage and start getting your stage time prepare. Like,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: look at this, I just got a text. My phone
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: just lit up, Yaminika Saunders. I swear, I swear I
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: watched this. This is off topic, but I want to
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: talk about it. I swear when you talk about people
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: that the texts are being held in the iCloud and
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: then they come through when your phone here is that name,
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: because your phone wants you on your phone as much
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: as possible, so that some of these texts are just
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: waiting and waiting and waiting, and then when you say
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: their name, they come up. I saw this in a
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: movie and I didn't believe it. I'm like, there's no
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: way they're holding the text, But I believe they are
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: and today is proof.
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I swear that's the real science.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, don't you think as go don't you think you
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: just have to get on stage, Like what was your
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: first time on stage?
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: Like, yeah, for sure, getting on stage, but also watching
• 23:13
  Speaker 5: a lot of it is nice, so like, you know,
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: go go catch Chelsea when she's in London. You know,
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: like watching other people and then just the way they
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: storytell is very inspiring, you know, especially if you feel
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: like stuck right because then you know, just to see
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: someone else and how they structured together a bunch of
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: their stories or what they found interesting about their stories
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: to make it to punch line, that's really helpful. And
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: then going on stage, you know, because just consuming other artists,
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: I think so good, even if it's like in the
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: back of your head and you're like, oh, I don't
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: know where I learned to realize the cut sounds funny
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: or whatever. Oh, it's because I saw, you know, that
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: comedian do it on stage and that made me laugh.
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: I took a stand up class, so that was how
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: I got up on stage for the first time. So
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: that's a little bit of a different journey.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: I feel like, but you should map out what you're
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: gonna say, you know, you should map out and have
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: an idea if you're one of those people who needs
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: like and you can take it on stage with you. You
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: can take a piece of paper up there, don't be
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: shy about that to look and see. You know, sometimes
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: with all that adrenaline you can kind of forget a
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: couple of things that you want to say, but have
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: a plan of what you're gonna do when you get
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: up there, and it can be a story, it can
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: be jokes, but like just start to just use that
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: as a way to get comfortable on stage so that
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: then when you have longer periods of time to be
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: on stage, that's where the storytelling can come in. But
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: I would treat the initial time as just like an introduction,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: you know, to stand up and to have a couple
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: of good jokes that you're willing to tell and try
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: and do some crowd work, because some people don't even
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: know they're good at crowd work, and so they do
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: it for the first time and then it's great. If
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: you're scared of it, then try it once and see
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: if you like it. You might not be scared of it,
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: but definitely just put the hours in you know you
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: need the hours to get comfortable with something right.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Well, our next question comes from Alex. She is calling in.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: She's thirty three, so the subject line is tips to
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: avoid identity crisis after quitting your dream job. Hey, Chelsea,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I took a gummy before writing this, so bear with me.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: I was an annoying overachiever my whole life. Double major
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: in college, graduated cum laudie while working the whole time,
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: straight to law school, graduated with honors, passed the bar
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: exam first time, and got hired at what I thought
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: was my dream job at twenty five.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Blah blah blah, gross.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I have wanted to be a public defender since the
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: moment I found out the job existed, and I started
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: interning at my local public defender's office when I was nineteen.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Everything I know and love came from this office. I
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: met my husband here, many of my closest friends. I
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: got my insane rescue dog from one of our unhoused clients, etc.
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: Etc.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: However, these last two years and full time mental health rotation,
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I'll spare you the details unless you're truly thirsty. Reached
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: critical mass, extreme burnout. I was a pin prick away
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: from sobbing or screaming in your face at any time
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: I was so emotionally exhausted. After lots of overthinking, doubting,
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: self hatred over the last several months, I finally made
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: the brave, correct decision and quit. I'm thirty three and unemployed.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: My heart rate spiked just typing that out. But I'm
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: calling it a sabbatical to avoid a few panic attacks
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: if I can. My therapist and I agreed, I'm taking
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: three months off. The first month to truly rest, the
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: next month to get the juices flowing for what the
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: next chapter will look like, and the third month to
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: execute on those ideas. I'm very confident in the decision
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I made, but shitting bricks over the next chapter. How
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: do I handle these next three months as I figure
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: out the direction I'm going to go? Because when I
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: was twenty five, I thought this was my endgame. And
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: I know that sounds naivestits, but I believe that to
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: my bones it was my identity. How do I best
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: spend this time disentangling from the job, the job, from
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: my identity and being okay with it signed while trying
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: not to increase my SSRI dosage.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Alex Oh, Alex, you're fucking crushing it. First of all,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: what are you talking about. You may have all these
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: great decisions for your own mental health. You got out
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: of a job that you thought was your dream job
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: that proved to be mentally debilitating to you and mentally
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: harmful to your health.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: Like that is amazing.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Now you have a whole and you're thirty three, you
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: have your whole life ahead of you to do phase two.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Like you're an example to so many people that are
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: in jobs that they hate to actually walk away.
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: I think you're already on the right track.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: Everything you said is great, Like, of course there's gonna
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: be some anxiety about what you're gonna do next, but
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: you should also trust in the fact that you just
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: got yourself out of a situation that was harmful to you.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: So you are the best person to take care of yourself,
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: which means you're gonna get to the place that you're
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: going and you're going to figure out what that next
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: step is in a natural amount of time. You're giving
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: yourself a month to do this, a month to do that.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: These are all amazing things, Like you don't even need
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: any advice from me, Hotsco.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: You could probably give Osco summed, do you need advice?
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: Help me out?
• 28:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I have to keep this bowl cup forever.
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: Speaking of an identity crisis, I'm like, can I ever
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: grow my hair out ever? Again? What happens if I
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: lose my hairstylist friend? You know, to other clients, what
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: am I going to do?
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: No?
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: But for real you it's it's kind of like a divorce.
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: Whenever someone's reached a point of having to do that,
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: it's because it needed to be done. Yeah, and so
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: this realization is badass. I would just say, like, I
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: would just say, clock the moments of joy that you
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: feel when you're trying different things and different and then
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: you go okay, So that's a that's what I like.
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: It's good to start to realize what you do like
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: now you know. And so that's all because you knew
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: what you didn't like. Yeah, so that's I guess.
• 28:44
  Speaker 7: It's it's also knowing how much rest is like too
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: much rest. I've never rested in my life. My parents
• 28:49
  Speaker 7: are immigrants. Let's go a huge fan. I know you
• 28:51
  Speaker 7: can relate to this. Productivity is beaten into your head
• 28:56
  Speaker 7: with a bat. So the idea of not doing any
• 29:00
  Speaker 7: thing because I have to and there's an expectation on
• 29:02
  Speaker 7: the other side. But just resting is a very foreign concept.
• 29:06
  Speaker 7: So I guess balancing what is rest and healing versus
• 29:09
  Speaker 7: what is productive steps to be taking because I still
• 29:12
  Speaker 7: have to work at some point, Like I'm only thirty three,
• 29:14
  Speaker 7: Guys still have to actually make money.
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: Have you guys taken time like this before in your lives?
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: I have.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: I have all the time.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I look at that rest as like filling up my bank,
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? Like my emotional well being,
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: Like I have burnt out so many times in my life,
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: and now I understand the balance, Like I understand that
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: the rest is as important as the work. The play
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: and the vacation is as important as the work. And
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: so just because you're not doing anything for a month,
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: like yeah, if you're not doing anything for six months,
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: that's a different story. If you say, Okay, I'm assigning
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: this month to resting and decompressing so that I can
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: get focused and get re energized. And you know, get
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: I almost said get fucked. Maybe you need to get
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: fucked too. But all of these things, like fill yourself
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: up with all of the stuff that you're are going
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: to need to get you to that next phase, which
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: is going to be a more productive phase of actually
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: thinking about where you want to go in your career,
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: what the next steps are. I think you're completely healthy
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: and you know what you're doing. You're breaking a cycle.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: You're talking about your parents coming to this country and
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: this work ethic, which is of course immigrants have. You know,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: you come to America and you want to be successful,
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: so you can't really blame people for doing that. But
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: you don't need to be working all the time. You
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: need to be like mentally healthy and then your work
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: can be joyful. You know, you want to be able
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: to put everything positive into your work. So I totally
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: think everything.
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: You're doing is just spot on.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Thanks Alex, Can I ask what are some of the
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: things that you're doing in this period of active rest,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: Like are you going outside?
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Are you meditate? Like what sort of in your day
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: to day?
• 30:44
  Speaker 7: So it's actually really funny. So I walk the dog
• 30:47
  Speaker 7: more than he's everyone walked in his entire life. I
• 30:51
  Speaker 7: am reading all of the nerdy, romanticy books that I've
• 30:54
  Speaker 7: never had time to read before and making no apologies
• 30:57
  Speaker 7: for it. Like my husband comes home, and I've been
• 30:59
  Speaker 7: on the CA for eight and a half hours, and
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: I'm very I'm journaling and taking a lot of gummies
• 31:04
  Speaker 7: because it helps me med it like it helps you
• 31:06
  Speaker 7: be creative, and.
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: I'm with you.
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: So I'm journaling a lot.
• 31:13
  Speaker 7: And there's a huge scary part of me that realizes
• 31:15
  Speaker 7: that maybe I don't even want to be a lawyer,
• 31:17
  Speaker 7: which is a bummer because I spent so much time
• 31:20
  Speaker 7: and energy and money towards this education and I feel
• 31:23
  Speaker 7: like I gained the skill set of not having any
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: fear of public speaking, not being afraid of grumpy old
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: white men yelling at me because they did that every
• 31:30
  Speaker 7: day in a robe like that doesn't scare me in
• 31:32
  Speaker 7: any field.
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: And I really like to write.
• 31:34
  Speaker 7: So there's a huge part of me that wants to
• 31:36
  Speaker 7: take a risk, even in that direction and something that's
• 31:40
  Speaker 7: not adjacent to my education at all.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Well, and as a person who like everyone in my
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: family is a lawyer except for me, I can say, like,
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: there are a lot of ways to use your law
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: degree that like do not involve going to court, that
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: don't involve sort of like a traditional sort of like
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: legal profession as we think about it, but also like, yeah,
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: you have the freedom now to like reconsider. Maybe you
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: use it again in fifteen years when you want to
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: do something different.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: It's you know, it doesn't mean that that's a wasted experience.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: And like you said, you've gained all these other tools
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: in your toolbox.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: My sister was an attorney, hated it, hated working for
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: a law firm, quit that and got a job for
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: this health company where she was writing.
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: She was as a lawyer writing all.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Of like the healthcare laws, like helping to create the
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: healthcare laws around it. So she kind of switched because
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: she was like I hate this, I hate defending people,
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: I hate like this kind of litigation aspect. She's like,
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: I'm going to take this healthcare degree and turn it
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: into something else where she can use her other skill sets,
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: which is writing and editing and all of that stuff.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: So she's kind of made a different career out of
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: being a healthcare attorney. And you can do the same thing.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: You just have to find out what drives you and
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: what moves you, and and your degree is going to
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: help you in many ways. Yes, I mean you just
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: listed a bunch of them, so like you should be
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: doing a podcast where you're giving advice to people.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're so mucky. Maybe that's your next marriage.
• 32:59
  Speaker 7: Maybe that's yeah, the landmark of the overconfident only daughter.
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, right, dear Alex, there's no reason.
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, leave it to Chelsea to try to put you
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: back to work. She just said she needed rest. Chelsea. Okay,
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: she's like, oh, you start a podcast, come up with merch.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much.
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: Thank I take care, Alex, thank you, I'll take care.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: Well that was fucking easy. Yeah.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: I know that girl was already doing everything that she
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: needed to be told.
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: I do.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: She's doing great.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: And you know, we don't think of like taking these
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: periods of rest as like rest is part of the work,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: like you said, Chelsea, Like, we don't think of it
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: that way, but I think it's important to think of
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: it that way.
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I do. I'm a big proponent of that.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, how do you feel about that? Ots go,
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: do you guys get do you guys get rest? Do
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: you actually rest?
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: You said you found the balance of work and play.
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: I'm still finding that. But I think it's because if
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: you're really into work and you're as fraid to like
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: rest too long. You can totally schedule it in. You
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: can put it in a calendar, you know what I mean,
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: so that you know, oh, this week is for play
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: and then next week is for work. So if you
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: feel anxiety about playing too hard, then you can do that,
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: you know, just like I think you can schedule in
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: six I'm a big, you.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: Know, scheduler of sex. I actually scheduled the sex between
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: you and Ryan. I don't know if you knew that,
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: but I actually am the one that puts that on
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: your calendar.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: It's in Chelsea for seven years.
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no wonder. I was like, wow, it's very frequent
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: this month for some reason.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I decided to step things up this month. Specifically,
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: I said, we need to work.
• 34:36
  Speaker 5: Who's making us do it from eight am to eight pm? Yours?
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: Surely?
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: Thank you well.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: Our next color is Sarah. She's as dear Chelsea. I've
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: been in my husband's family for almost fifteen years and
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: recently had a falling out with my sister in law,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: my husband's brother's wife. She's been icing me out ever
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: since I found out. She had the whole family over
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: for our niece's birthday and my husband and I I
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: were not invited. In her words, it wasn't a quote
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: party but a quote drop by with cake and gifts.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: I can accept this, but the problem is now my
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: sister in law will not speak to me at family
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: events or text me back ever since I expressed my
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: hurt at not being invited. My biggest concern is she's
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: the aunt to my two children and continues to fawn
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: over them while ignoring me at family events. I was
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: in her wedding, yet I feel as though I'm being
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: treated as a complete stranger. I've kept my side of
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: the street clean by reaching out to her, and she
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: continues to talk to members of my husband's family, but
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: not directly to me about what she's upset about. I
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: need a real bitch's advice on how to move forward
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: from this. Do I humble myself and try to discuss
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: the miscommunication again or does act like nothing happened. We've
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: been closed for eight years, so this is quite the
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: proverbial slap in the face.
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: Help.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Sarah, Hi Sarah Oh, Hi Hi otsco Okotska's our special
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: guest today.
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, Hi, So what was the falling out? What happened?
• 36:00
  Speaker 6: So the actual falling out was like, it was her
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: daughter's birthday, and we had been texting like that morning.
• 36:08
  Speaker 6: I had given her a gift earlier on in the week,
• 36:10
  Speaker 6: like to give to her daughter, because I knew I
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: wasn't going to see her on her birthday, because she
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: was like, you know, well we're going out of town
• 36:16
  Speaker 6: and all this stuff. So then the morning of her birthday,
• 36:21
  Speaker 6: she actually sent me like, I sent her a video
• 36:23
  Speaker 6: from my daughter who's her cousin, saying, you know, happy birthday,
• 36:27
  Speaker 6: hope you have a great day. And then she sent
• 36:29
  Speaker 6: a video back of like the whole family singing happy
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: birthday to her daughter. There was a cake, you know,
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: there were the president, the president I had given her
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: like earlier that week, and they were all like singing,
• 36:41
  Speaker 6: and I was like, so everyone was invited. So I
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: responded and I said.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: Wait a second, I'm sorry, hold on back up. You
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: gave her a gift because you weren't going to be
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: able to see her on her birthday exactly, and then
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: she had a birthday party on her birthday.
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: Yes, But when I said that, my feelings were hurt
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: because we lived three minutes away, literally right up the road.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: But how did you know you weren't going to see
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: her on your birthday, her birthday.
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: Because she said that they were going out of town,
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: like she her and you know, her daughter and her
• 37:10
  Speaker 6: husband were going out of town, and she was like, well,
• 37:12
  Speaker 6: we're just going on our trip, you know, for our
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: daughter's birthday. So you know, thanks for giving me the gift, now,
• 37:18
  Speaker 6: you know. And so I felt like it was kind
• 37:20
  Speaker 6: of omitted. But so then when I expressed that, I
• 37:23
  Speaker 6: was like her, you know, by not being invited because
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: she sent me that video. So I was like, this
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: is kind of like really strange, right, I said, you know,
• 37:31
  Speaker 6: I'm hurt that, like, you know, we weren't invited because
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: we lived right up the road. And then she didn't
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: talk to me after that.
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: All that was the falling out. That there was no
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: prior falling out. Oh yes, that's confusing.
• 37:46
  Speaker 6: Isn't a falling out? Like what is it? No?
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: I I would the way I listened to your letter,
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: I thought I heard that you guys had a falling out,
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: and then this was like the aftermath of the falling out.
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: So this is the actual incident.
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: What does your husband does any one in the family,
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: has anyone conveyed to you what the issue is or
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: why she didn't invite.
• 38:05
  Speaker 6: You or no, I was never really given a conversation
• 38:09
  Speaker 6: because she just didn't talk to me after that. So
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: it was in a message with her and her husband,
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: and he did say right away, he was like, oh, sorry,
• 38:16
  Speaker 6: we didn't mean to exclude you, but she was like
• 38:19
  Speaker 6: radio silent. So I was like, was it something else
• 38:24
  Speaker 6: that happened.
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like something else happened that you're not
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: aware of. So I would reach out to her again,
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: first of all, your family members, so like, it's not
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: really helpful to not be speaking, especially when you don't
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: know what happened. So maybe you did something that you
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: don't realize that hurt her feelings.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: And I would start with that.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: I would send her a text or an email or
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: whatever's like the best way to contact her and just
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: say I'm sorry, so sorry. I don't know did I
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: do something to hurt you, because it feels like I did,
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: and I want to make sure that I'm fully accountable,
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: like totally, just be the bigger person and ask her
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: why she's upset with you, Like you're not responding to
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: my text.
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: We've been friends for eight years. This is very strange.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: Please feel free to tell me if I've done something
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: to hurt your feelings.
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah, hands down, like good old fashioned communication.
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: Right, absolutely, You're part of the same family, so as
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: long as there's not some huge rift like this should
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: be fixable, right.
• 39:17
  Speaker 6: I totally agree, Oh fantastic, you're the best.
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean it's pretty obvious advice, no offense.
• 39:23
  Speaker 6: Freaking obvious. But you know what it's been creating, like
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: just so much awkwardness, you know.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, right.
• 39:30
  Speaker 6: It tends like we have a lot of family events,
• 39:33
  Speaker 6: you know, together we all close, and then like, you know,
• 39:36
  Speaker 6: I'll go to these events and like recently she started
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: kind of being like hey, you know, like maybe that's
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: her way of trying to get a little closer. But
• 39:43
  Speaker 6: then she still will not text. And this is like
• 39:45
  Speaker 6: going from us texting multiple times a week. You know,
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: our kids are going to the same daycare, like going
• 39:50
  Speaker 6: to exercise classes together too, you know. Now she'll talk
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: to me at the events every now and again, like
• 39:56
  Speaker 6: she'll be like oh hey, like at least a high
• 39:58
  Speaker 6: but still like no text, no personal contact. So I'm like,
• 40:02
  Speaker 6: I wonder if she's trying to just like show face
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: for like the in laws and stuff.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: I wonder if this is a like to pull her
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: aside at one of the family events sort of thing
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: and like get her face to face, because I feel
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: like sometimes when people are being weird like this, if
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: you actually just like address it to their face, they'll
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: like totally back down like oh no, no, there's like
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: nothing weird, and then it's like, well, they do sort
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: of have to stick to their guns a little bit more,
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: Whereas via text, like she might give you like a
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: one word like I'm fine, everything's fine or whatever, and
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: then continue to be a weirdo s.
• 40:30
  Speaker 6: Right, like humanize myself a little bit.
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I would say that's right.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: I would say to do it in person so that
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: she can't just not respond, because then it's just more
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: of the same. It's so weird to not respond, but
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: something must have happened that you're not aware of.
• 40:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you're right, you know. And I'm like I've been
• 40:46
  Speaker 6: overthinking it going through it, like I'm like, what could
• 40:48
  Speaker 6: this possibly be? You know. I thought of addressing it
• 40:51
  Speaker 6: with my mother in law myself, because she's one of
• 40:53
  Speaker 6: the people that she's been talking to, you know, like
• 40:55
  Speaker 6: about my mother in law is super cool, like she
• 40:59
  Speaker 6: I know that you'd be open to a conversation, but
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: I don't want to open it up to that, you know,
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: Like I thought I was being the better person initially
• 41:06
  Speaker 6: by not doing that. Like I was like, this is
• 41:07
  Speaker 6: between her and I, like, let's just knock it out.
• 41:11
  Speaker 6: But I think an in person conversation would have been better.
• 41:15
  Speaker 6: I just thought maybe she needed space, Like I didn't know,
• 41:18
  Speaker 6: really you know, how to approach it, because this has
• 41:20
  Speaker 6: never happened to me before, especially in my tight knit group.
• 41:23
  Speaker 6: You know, your rider dies, right, so this is like
• 41:26
  Speaker 6: totally crazy.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, like, yeah, tug to her in person.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: If she's still it's sort of like then she has
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: to either commit to like no, everything's fine, or like
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: if she keeps acting weird after that, then you got
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: to address it again and be like, all right, what's
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: the deeper thing here?
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Is there anything? And then if she.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Keeps being weird, just I guess just let her be
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: kind of weird, you know, like you don't necessarily have
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: to be talking to her the entire time of family
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: events sort of thing, but just know that, you know,
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: you're still keeping your side of the street clean.
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because if you ask her what's up,
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: and she hasn't and she's like there's nothing, nothing wrong.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: Then you're like, okay, fine, I tried whatever, Like I
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: don't know what to do with you. I don't know
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: what happened. You're not going to tell me the truth,
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: and there's nothing else you could do.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and hopefully she will change her tune, you know, I.
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: Hope so, I mean, because yeah, I feel like I've
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: always been a good friend. Like I did like a
• 42:12
  Speaker 6: speech at her wedding because her like sister didn't want
• 42:14
  Speaker 6: to do it, stuff like that, whatever, But there hasn't
• 42:17
  Speaker 6: been anything I can think of that was just like, oh,
• 42:19
  Speaker 6: I really like pissed her off.
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 42:21
  Speaker 6: It was like just I feel maybe she I don't know,
• 42:25
  Speaker 6: I've like been going around like you're pulling back for
• 42:27
  Speaker 6: a while, like.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: They hit it straight on, and then you know, if
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: you don't get the answer, you like, then wait a
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: little bit and then talk to her mother, your mother
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: in law, and be like listen, I don't know what's
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: going on here, but this isn't like a healthy dynamic,
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: like we all have kids. I want to be friends.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: I don't understand what happened. I asked her what happened.
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: She won't tell me, So how can I you know
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: what I mean, but start with her and just be
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: be direct so that she has to answer.
• 42:50
  Speaker 6: You totally and like, and I'm okay with not being
• 42:53
  Speaker 6: like bestie sister in law's too. We've been friends for
• 42:56
  Speaker 6: a long time. But I'm like, it's all right if
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: if that's what it's going to be, you know, us
• 43:01
  Speaker 6: just seeing each other at the family events.
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: It's just there was no I.
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: Guess that would be a weird conversation for her to
• 43:07
  Speaker 6: have with me, to be like, hey, I don't want
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: to be as close as we are, you know, like, but.
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe that is it, But that seems a little odd.
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: Weird way to go about it, right.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: Will you check in with us after you guys have
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: a conversation, let us know if things get better?
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: Absolutely right, Okay, Well, good luck, thanks Sarah.
• 43:26
  Speaker 6: Good luck, bye bye, Thanks bye, let's go.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: You don't have a sister in law, right, de Ryan
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: doesn't have siblings, or does he?
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: He does? He has too. Yeah, and so that's still
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: a newer dynamic for me too to learn, you know. Yeah,
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: because it's like they are relatives, but they kind of
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: are not, you know, and so it's like how much.
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: Well they are your relatives cots go. First of all, they.
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: Are I know, they're like listening, They're like, excuse me,
• 43:53
  Speaker 5: what are we? And I'm like, are you friends?
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Now you're gonna be fighting with your sisters?
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: Ima.
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: I had a small family growing up, so I'm like, okay,
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: I guess it's new. I'm still learning this chosen family
• 44:02
  Speaker 5: versus regular family thing, you know, because I married Ryan
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: and then suddenly I'm an aunt too, right, So that's
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: a lot to figure out. It's like, whoa, maybe I'm
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: not good at being an aunt and I'm okay, I'm
• 44:14
  Speaker 5: not great.
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know what, you can always improve on
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: your aunting skills.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: It's a new role. So you know, like I don't know,
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: being an ant is kind of the best of both worlds.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: You get to be an aunt and with no responsibility, you.
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: Know what I mean.
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: You get to just be like a fun infuser, which
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: is I take Yeah, I take a lot of joy
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: in that, and especially I take a lot of joy
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: when things get serious. It's like get the fuck out
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: of here, you know, Like, if you've got real problems,
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: go talk to your parents.
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: No it's true. I know you love it. Yeah, I'm
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: just I'm always trying. I'm still not completely me around them.
• 44:46
  Speaker 5: I think when I can I see yeah, yeah, because
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: I'm like still getting to know the sister in laws.
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: So I'm I'm like, yes, you know, I will not
• 44:55
  Speaker 5: curse around you, and yes, I you know I will
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: give you money. And I'm like, god, I'm going, oh.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: A great setup. I won't curse around you and I
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: have to pay you perfect.
• 45:08
  Speaker 5: Oh my god. Yeah, I'm like, what am I in
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: a church?
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Maybe you should start swearing and then you can put
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: money in a tip jar or in a zag.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: Every time you swear, you get to give them a dollar.
• 45:17
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: back with Otsco.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: And we're back with Otsko Okotska, who's got a new
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: special out on Disney and Hulu. You can watch it
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: on Hulu and Disney Plus. It is called Father and
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: it is her sophomore special. Okay, what else do we got?
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: What do we have to wrap things up today?
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: I have one quickie to wrap up with, Abby, says
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: dear Chelsea. I have a close friend that has recently
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: started sending me voice recordings of her singing.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, she sings, she sings.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: Beautifully, but her boyfriend doesn't really care to hear her sing.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: So I think I'm the only one getting these, which
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: makes me sad. I don't ever listen to them and
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: their entire sometimes not at all. How do I respond
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: in a text to the constant voice recording messages? Or
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: should I even respond?
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Abby?
• 46:09
  Speaker 5: Wow?
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah wow.
• 46:11
  Speaker 5: This is a very specific, very specific, very specific incident
• 46:16
  Speaker 5: and very specific.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it is like text etiquette, it's evolving, well etiquette.
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: I mean the etiquette is blown out the window by
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: the person recording songs and sending them to.
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: Her fucking friend. Who does that?
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess somebody who has a boyfriend
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: that won't listen to her singing, which is another problem
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: that she has.
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: I would just.
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: Write, honestly, I would write beautiful a couple of times
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: and then I would stop responding.
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: That's what I would do. But I don't know.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, you want to give your friend some positive
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: feedback because she clearly isn't getting it at home, and
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: if she is a beautiful singer, and you're not telling
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: a lie even if it was bad singing.
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: I would write, that's beautiful.
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: And then I would write that a couple times, I
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: would write the same thing exactly like that's beautiful, and
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: then the next time, that's beautiful, and then I stop
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: responding Yeah.
• 47:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah. It's kind of like when a kid is showing
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: you a rock over and over. Yeah that's and you're like,
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: that's really good, that's so good. And then they're like,
• 47:16
  Speaker 5: here's a song that's really cute too, that's so good.
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: And then and then you know, if you exactly like
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: you know, it's a positive reinforcement thing. Once they stop
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: hearing it, they go, Okay, I've had my feel of
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: feeling good.
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I mean I get emails.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: I have a friend who is like, just keep sending
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: me emails and she wants like our relationship ended a
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: long time ago, and she's trying to rekindle our relationship
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: and I'm not interested, but I'm not. I don't want
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: to be mean. I'm just seriously like, I'm not interested
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: in rekindling. Like it's I don't have the bandwidth where
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: let's move on. So I wrote back the first time,
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: like this is very sweet. I want nothing but the
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: best for you. I'm sending you so much love. I
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: really don't have any space in my life right now
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: to recar to our friendship. I don't mean that as
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: an affront to you. I don't hold any ill will
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: towards you, but that's how I feel. And I'm you know,
• 48:07
  Speaker 3: I'm pretty busy, So let's just move on in our
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: separate ways and let go. Then I get another email.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Then I get a fourth email. I got four emails,
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: and I'm like, she's trying to basically harass me into
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: rekindling our friendship. And now I have to be like,
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: so I stopped responding, you know, but if I get
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: another one, I'm gonna be like, you're now you're harassing me,
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: Like I set.
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: A boundary that you're not like. You know, this isn't now.
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: This isn't the same as getting a voice memo of
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: a song.
• 48:35
  Speaker 5: But either way, they're both attacks. Okay, either way, they're
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: both attacks. And you were trapped and you didn't ask
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: for it.
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: It's an assault. It's an assault.
• 48:45
  Speaker 5: We all deserve our own boundaries. You know, her boyfriend
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: created one with that with her, and now you might
• 48:52
  Speaker 5: need two with her too.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I had a friend years ago who would like, actually
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: do this in person, she'd be like, oh, new song
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: for my album, and she would be like, let me
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: just play as a little snippet, and then she would
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: play it, but she'd play the whole song and then
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: sing it like a foot from my face to my face.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, too much of a people pleaser to
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: just like, go away, but just be grateful.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: This is a voice memo, and you can.
• 49:17
  Speaker 5: Tell her to post it online. That's validation she can
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: get from somewhere.
• 49:21
  Speaker 4: To go beautiful post. You should post this on Instagram.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: You should post this that's great and brilliant, brilliant, and
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: hopefully the response is positive, because otherwise you're going to
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: be dealing with a different friend after.
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: She gets some public public shaming critique.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: I've hooked up with a couple of guys that are
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: in the industry, and when I've hooked up with them,
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: I've had one guy show me his pilot, an episode
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: of a pilot that he shot from start to finish,
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: and this was before we were supposed to have sex.
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: Of course, I couldn't have sex with him after because
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: I don't want to see your pilot. And then I
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: had another guy show me a sizzle reel from a
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: movie that he was producing, and I was like, you're
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: killing my boner, Like I don't know why people don't
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: and understand that. That's like me inviting people over and
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: saying watch my stand up special, or Otsco inviting people
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: over and being like, hey, not even inviting them to
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: watch a special, saying hey, do you want to hear
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: some jokes from my special? It's like if they did,
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: they'd fucking come see you perform. It's just all so
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: like it's so unself aware, like nobody wants to do that.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: It's like taking videos. I can compare it to when
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I'm in Whistler. I take videos for like when I'm
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: skiing with the kids. They want videos all the time
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: of them they're gonna jump off this or they're gonna
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: go in the park and they're gonna ride this rail.
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: And I don't fucking have time for that shit. I'm
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: not here to take videos of children. If I wanted
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: to take videos of children, I would have had children.
• 50:38
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, I don't. I'm not the one.
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: You go, here's a GoPro. What's beautiful is it captures
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: your actions while you move without someone else doing it.
• 50:48
  Speaker 5: You know, it's these things. Guy. I had a guy
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: read me poetry before sex too, and I told him
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: to say I said, that was good, that was beautiful,
• 50:56
  Speaker 5: that same thing you told her to do. And afterwards
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: he goes, thank you. I'm either thinking of being a
• 51:03
  Speaker 5: poet that travels around the world or be a cop.
• 51:06
  Speaker 5: I said, those are two very different things, sweetie. And
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: by then it was like an hour in you know,
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: so exactly. It's like respect, I came here for you.
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: I'm going to offer you my body.
• 51:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my body in my choice. And yeah you should.
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: Actually, anyone who's on the fence about becoming a poet,
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: who's going to travel the world and their other option
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: is a cop, you should just have them become a cop.
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we need more poetry and police work.
• 51:34
  Speaker 5: Yes, I agree, Yeah, but I don't know. His poems
• 51:37
  Speaker 5: were intense.
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: So anyway, Well, first of all, this is the first
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: time hearing that you took another lover before you met Ryan.
• 51:44
  Speaker 4: And does he know about it? Does Ryan know about it? Ryan?
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: Do you know about this?
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: You're like, as a good Well, I'll put it in
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: the calendar or shared calendar that the three of us share.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to, Yeah, I like that we share
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: a calendar, and I want to continue that. I want
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: to continue that through twenty twenty at the very least.
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, just put any thoughts notes in there that you want.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: I have thoughts and notes for all all of us,
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: all three of us.
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: I'll be the leader of our calendar.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: Yes, please, thank you, mother.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: Thank you daughter. Okay, Otsco love talking to you.
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry that this is the way we have to
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: catch up now, I mean with our busy travel schedules.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: But I'm going to send you, guys.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: I'm going to send you guys some dates and see
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: if you couldn't want to come to Mayorca this summer.
• 52:27
  Speaker 4: We'll see what you're doing.
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: I'm only going for a week this summer, but I
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: have a little fun group of comics, so maybe you
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: guys can come.
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: I'll send you dates.
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, okayay, it sounds good.
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, love you. Congrats on your new special.
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen it yet, you guys, because they haven't
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: sent it to me, so otherwise I would be waxing
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: poetic about how funny it is, because I know it's
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: fucking funny because it's Otsco and she's ridiculous, so it's
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: called Father and you can watch it on Hulu Disney Plus.
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: You're incredible.
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: Good Bye, we have a great day. Bye bye. So
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: I added a couple of new dates.
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: I'm not on tour yet, but I added a couple
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: of dates just because I felt like we need a
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: little bit more laughter and a little bit.
• 53:04
  Speaker 4: More medicine for the end of the year.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: And I was wrapping things up, but I thought, maybe
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: let me do a couple more. So I'm adding three
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: more dates in addition to my Vegas residency. I'm doing
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: Westhampton Beach August twenty first, I'm headlining the Rochester Fringe
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and I will be in Napa
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: on October third, So those will be my last.
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: Dates of the year.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea Pod.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea is edited
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahanler dot com.