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Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded Volume 1 Letter 11 · The Samuel Richardson Library

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Speaker 1: PAMELA OR VIRTUE REWARDED BY SAMUEL RICHARDSON SECTION ELEVEN Mr. Williams, Mrs. Jukes,
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Speaker 1: and I have been all three walking together in the garden,
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Speaker 1: and she pulled out her key, and we walked a
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Speaker 1: little in the pasture to look at the bull, an ugly, grim,
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Speaker 1: surly creature that hurt the poor cookmaid, who has got
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Speaker 1: pretty well again. Mr. Williams pointed at the sunflower, but
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Speaker 1: I was forced to be very reserved to him, for
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Speaker 1: the poor gentleman has no guard, no caution at all.
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Speaker 1: We have just supped together, all three, and I cannot
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Speaker 1: yet think that all must be right. Only I am
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Speaker 1: resolved not to marry, if I can help it, and
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Speaker 1: I will give no encouragement, I am resolved at least,
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Speaker 1: till I am with you. Mr. Williams said, before Mrs. Jukes,
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Speaker 1: he would send a messenger with a letter to my
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Speaker 1: father and mother. I think the man has no discretion
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Speaker 1: in the world, but I desire you will send no answer.
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Speaker 1: till I have the pleasure and happiness, which I now
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Speaker 1: hope for soon, of seeing you. He will, in sending
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Speaker 1: my packet, send a most tedious parcel of stuff, of
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Speaker 1: my oppressions, my distresses, my fears, and so I will
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Speaker 1: send this with it, for Mrs. Jukes gives me leave
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Speaker 1: to send a letter to my father, which looks well,
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Speaker 1: and I am glad I can conclude, after all my sufferings,
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Speaker 1: with my hopes to be soon with you. which I
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Speaker 1: know will give you comfort. And so I rest, begging
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Speaker 1: the continuance of your prayers and blessings, your ever dutiful daughter.
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Speaker 1: My dear father and mother, I have so much time
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Speaker 1: upon my hands that I must write on to employ myself.
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Speaker 1: The Sunday evening where I left off, Mrs. Jukes asked
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Speaker 1: me if I chose to be by myself, and I
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Speaker 1: said yes with all my heart, if she pleased. Well,
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Speaker 1: said she, after to-night you shall i asked her for
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Speaker 1: more paper and she gave me a bottle of ink
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Speaker 1: eight sheets of paper which she said was all her
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Speaker 1: store for now she would get me to write for
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Speaker 1: her to our master if she had occasion and six
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Speaker 1: pens with a piece of sealing-wax this looks mighty well
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Speaker 1: she pressed me when she came to bed very much
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Speaker 1: to give encouragement to mr williams and said many things
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Speaker 1: in his behalf and blamed my shyness to him. I
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Speaker 1: told her I was resolved to give no encouragement till
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Speaker 1: I had talked to my father and mother. She said
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Speaker 1: he fancied I thought of somebody else, or I could
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Speaker 1: never be so insensible. I assured her, as I could
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Speaker 1: do very safely, that there was not a man on
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Speaker 1: earth I wished to have, and as to Mr. Williams,
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Speaker 1: he might do better by far. and I had proposed
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Speaker 1: so much happiness in living with my poor father and
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Speaker 1: mother that I could not think of any scheme of
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Speaker 1: life with pleasure till I had tried that. I asked
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Speaker 1: her for my money, and she said it was above
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Speaker 1: in her strong-box, but that I should have it to-morrow.
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Speaker 1: All these things look well, as I said. Mr. Williams
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Speaker 1: would go home this night, though late, because he would
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Speaker 1: dispatch a messenger to you with the letter he had
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Speaker 1: proposed from himself, and my packet. But pray don't encourage him,
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Speaker 1: as I said, for he is much too heady and
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Speaker 1: precipitate as to this matter, in my way of thinking. Though,
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Speaker 1: to be sure, he is a very good man, and
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Speaker 1: I am much obliged to him. MONDAY MORNING Alas-a-day! We
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Speaker 1: have bad news from poor Mr. Williams. He has had
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Speaker 1: a sad mischance, fallen among rogues in his way home
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Speaker 1: last night, but by good chance has saved my papers.
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Speaker 1: This is the account he gives of it to Mrs. Jukes.
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Speaker 1: Good Mrs. Jukes, I have had a sore misfortune in
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Speaker 1: going from you. When I had got as near the
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Speaker 1: town as the dam, and was going to cross the
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Speaker 1: wooden bridge, two fellows got hold of me, and swore
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Speaker 1: bitterly they would kill me, if I did not give
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Speaker 1: them what I had. They rummaged my pockets, and took
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Speaker 1: from me my snuff-box, my seal-ring, and half a guinea,
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Speaker 1: and some silver and half-pence, also my handkerchief, and two
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Speaker 1: or three letters I had in my pockets. By good fortune,
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Speaker 1: the letter Mrs. Pamela gave me was in my bosom,
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Speaker 1: and so that escaped, but they bruised my head and face, and,
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Speaker 1: cursing me for having no more money, tipped me into
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Speaker 1: the dam, crying,' Be there, parson, till to-morrow.' My shins
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Speaker 1: and knees were bruised much in the fall against one
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Speaker 1: of the stumps, and I had liked to have been
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Speaker 1: suffocated in water and mud. To be sure, I shan't
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Speaker 1: be able to stir out this day or two, for
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Speaker 1: I am a frightful spectacle. My hat and wig I
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Speaker 1: was forced to leave behind me, and go home a
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Speaker 1: mile and a half without. But they were found the
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Speaker 1: next morning, and brought me, with my snuff-box, which the
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Speaker 1: rogues must have dropped. My cassock is sadly torn, as
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Speaker 1: is my band. To be sure I was much frightened,
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Speaker 1: for a robbery in these parts has not been known
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Speaker 1: many years. Diligent search is making after the rogues. My
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Speaker 1: humble respects to good Mrs. Pamela. If she pities my misfortunes,
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Speaker 1: I shall be the sooner well, and fit to wait
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Speaker 1: on her and you. This did not hinder me in
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Speaker 1: writing a letter. though with great pain as i do
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Speaker 1: this to be sure this good man can keep no
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Speaker 1: secret and sending it away by a man and horse
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Speaker 1: this morning i am good mrs jukes your most obliged
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Speaker 1: humble servant god be praised it is no worse and
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Speaker 1: i find i have got no cold though miserably wet
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Speaker 1: from top to toe my fright i believe prevented me
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Speaker 1: from catching cold for i was not rightly myself for
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Speaker 1: some hours and know not how I got home. I
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Speaker 1: will write a letter of thanks this night, if I
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Speaker 1: am able, to my kind patron, for his inestimable goodness
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Speaker 1: to me. I wish I was unable to say all
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Speaker 1: I hope with regard to the better part of his
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Speaker 1: bounty to me, incomparable Mrs. Pamela. The wicked brute fell
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Speaker 1: a-laughing when she had read this letter, till her fat
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Speaker 1: side shook. Said she, I can but think how the
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Speaker 1: poor parson looked, after parting with his pretty mistress in
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Speaker 1: such high spirits, when he found himself at the bottom
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Speaker 1: of the dam. And what a figure he must cut
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Speaker 1: in his tattered band and cassock, and with that hat
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Speaker 1: and wig when he got home. I warrant, added she,
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Speaker 1: he was in such a sweet pickle. I said, I
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Speaker 1: thought it was very barbarous to laugh at such a misfortune.
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Speaker 1: But she replied, as he was safe. She laughed. Otherwise
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Speaker 1: she would have been sorry, and she was glad to
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Speaker 1: see me so concerned for him. It looked promising, she said.
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Speaker 1: I heeded not her reflections, but as I have been
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Speaker 1: used to causes for mistrusts, I cannot help saying that
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Speaker 1: I don't like this thing, and their taking his letters
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Speaker 1: most alarms me. How happy it was they missed my packet!
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Speaker 1: I knew not what to think of it. But Why
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Speaker 1: should I let every accident break my peace? Yet it
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Speaker 1: will do so while I stay here. Mrs. Jukes is
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Speaker 1: mightily at me to go with her in the chariot
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Speaker 1: to visit Mr. Williams. She is so officious to break
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Speaker 1: on the affair between us that, being a cunning, artful woman,
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Speaker 1: I know not what to make of it. I have
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Speaker 1: refused her absolutely, urging that except I intended to encourage
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Speaker 1: his suit, I ought not to do it. and she
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Speaker 1: is gone without me. I have strange temptations to get
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Speaker 1: away in her absence, for all these fine appearances. Tis
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Speaker 1: sad to have nobody to advise with. I know not
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Speaker 1: what to do, but, alas, for me, I have no money,
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Speaker 1: if I should, to buy anybody's civilities, or to pay
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Speaker 1: for necessaries or lodgings. But I'll go into the garden,
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Speaker 1: and resolve afterwards. I have been in the garden, and
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Speaker 1: to the back door, and there I stood, my heart
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Speaker 1: up at my mouth. I could not see I was watched,
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Speaker 1: so this looks well, but if anything should go bad afterwards,
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Speaker 1: I should never forgive myself for not taking this opportunity. Well,
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Speaker 1: I will go down again, and see if all is clear,
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Speaker 1: and how it looks out the back door in the pasture.
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Speaker 1: To be sure, there is witchcraft in this house. and
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Speaker 1: I believe Lucifer is bribed as well as all about me,
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Speaker 1: and has got into the shape of that nasty, grim
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Speaker 1: bull to watch me, for I have been again, and
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Speaker 1: ventured to open the door, and went out without a
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Speaker 1: bow shut into the pasture, but there stood that horrid
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Speaker 1: bull staring me full in the face with fiery saucer
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Speaker 1: eyes as I thought, so I got in again, for
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Speaker 1: fear he should come at me. Nobody saw me, however.
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Speaker 1: Do you think there are such things as witches and spirits?
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Speaker 1: If there be, I believe, in my heart, Mrs. Jukes
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Speaker 1: has got this bull of her side. But yet what
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Speaker 1: could I do without money or a friend?' Oh, this
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Speaker 1: wicked woman, to trick me so! Everything, man, woman, and beast,
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Speaker 1: is in a plot against your poor Pamela, I think.
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Speaker 1: Then I know not one step of the way, nor
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Speaker 1: how far to any house or cottage, and whether I
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Speaker 1: could gain protection, if I got to a house. And
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Speaker 1: now the robbers are abroad, too. I may run into
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Speaker 1: as great danger as I want to escape, nay, greater much,
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Speaker 1: if these promising appearances hold. and sure my master cannot
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Speaker 1: be so black as that they should not. What can
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Speaker 1: I do? I have a good mind to try for
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Speaker 1: it once more, but then I may be pursued and taken,
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Speaker 1: and it will be worse for me, and this wicked
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Speaker 1: woman will beat me and take my shoes away and
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Speaker 1: lock me up. But, after all, if my master should
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Speaker 1: mean well, he can't be angry at my fears, if
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Speaker 1: I should escape. and nobody can blame me. And I
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Speaker 1: can more easily be induced, with you, when all my
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Speaker 1: apprehensions are over, to consider his proposal of Mr. Williams
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Speaker 1: than I could here. And he pretends, as you have
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Speaker 1: read in his letter, he will leave me to my choice. Why, then,
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Speaker 1: should I be afraid? I will go down again, I think.
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Speaker 1: But yet, My heart misgives me because of the difficulties
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Speaker 1: before me in escaping, and being so poor and so friendless,
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Speaker 1: could God, the preserver of the innocent, direct me what
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Speaker 1: to do? Well, I have just now a sort of
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Speaker 1: strange persuasion upon me that I ought to try to
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Speaker 1: get away and leave the issue to Providence. So, once more,
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Speaker 1: I'll see at least if the bulls still be there.
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Speaker 1: A lackaday! What a fate is this! I have not
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Speaker 1: the courage to go, neither can I think to stay.
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Speaker 1: But I must resolve. The gardener was in sight last time,
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Speaker 1: so made me come up again. But I'll contrive to
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Speaker 1: send him out of the way if I can. For
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Speaker 1: if I never should have another opportunity, I could not
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Speaker 1: forgive myself. Once more I'll venture. God, direct my footsteps
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Speaker 1: and make smooth my path and my way to safety. Well,
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Speaker 1: here I am, come back again, frightened like a fool
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Speaker 1: out of all my purposes. Oh, how terrible everything appears
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Speaker 1: to me. I had got twice as far again as
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Speaker 1: I was before out the back door, and I'd looked
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Speaker 1: and saw the bowl, as I thought, between me and
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Speaker 1: the door, and another bowl coming towards me the other way. Well,
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Speaker 1: thought I, here is double witchcraft, to be sure. Here
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Speaker 1: is the spirit of my master in one bowl, and Mrs.
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Speaker 1: Jukes in the other. And now I am gone, to
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Speaker 1: be sure. Oh, help! cried I, like a fool, and
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Speaker 1: ran back to the door, swift as if I flew.
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Speaker 1: When I had got to the door in my hand,
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Speaker 1: I ventured to look back, to see if these supposed
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Speaker 1: bowls were coming, and I saw they were only two
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Speaker 1: poor cows. a grazing in distant places that my fears
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Speaker 1: had made all this rout about but as everything is
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Speaker 1: so frightful to me i find i am not fit
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Speaker 1: to think of my escape for i shall be as
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Speaker 1: much frightened at the first strange man i meet with
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Speaker 1: and i am persuaded that fear brings one into more
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Speaker 1: dangers than the caution that goes along with it delivers
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Speaker 1: one from i then locked the door and put the
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Speaker 1: key in my pocket It was in a sad quandary,
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Speaker 1: but I was soon determined, for the maid Nan came
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Speaker 1: in sight, and asked if anything was the matter, that
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Speaker 1: I was so often up and down stairs. God forgive me,
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Speaker 1: but I had a sad lie at my tongue's end.
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Speaker 1: Said I, though Mrs. Jukes is sometimes a little hard
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Speaker 1: upon me, yet I know not where I am without her.
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Speaker 1: I go up, and I come down to walk about
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Speaker 1: in the garden, and, not having her, know scarcely what
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Speaker 1: to do with myself i said the idiot she has
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Speaker 1: made good company madam no munder you miss her so
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Speaker 1: here i am again and here likely to be for
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Speaker 1: i have no courage to help myself anywhere else oh
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Speaker 1: why are poor foolish maidens tried with such dangers when
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Speaker 1: they have such weak minds to grapple with them i
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Speaker 1: will since it is so hope the best but yet
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Speaker 1: I cannot but observe how grievously everything makes against me.
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Speaker 1: For here are the robbers, though I fell not into
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Speaker 1: their hands myself, yet they gave me as much terror,
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Speaker 1: and had as great an effect upon my fears as
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Speaker 1: if I had. And here is the bull. It has
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Speaker 1: as effectually frightened me as if I had been hurt
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Speaker 1: by it instead of the cookmaid. And so these join together,
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Speaker 1: as I may say, to make a very dastard of me.
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Speaker 1: But my folly was the worst of all, because that
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Speaker 1: deprived me of my money, for had I had that,
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Speaker 1: I believe I should have ventured both the bull and
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Speaker 1: the robbers. So Mrs. Jukes is returned from her visit.' Well,'
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Speaker 1: said she,' I would have you set your heart at rest,
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Speaker 1: for Mr. Williams will do very well again.' He is
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Speaker 1: not half so bad as he fancied. Oh, these scholars,
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Speaker 1: said she, they have not the hearts of mice. He
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Speaker 1: has only a few scratches on his face, which, said she,
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Speaker 1: I suppose he got by grappling among the gravel at
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Speaker 1: the bottom of the dam, to try to find a
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Speaker 1: hole in the ground to hide himself from the robbers.
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Speaker 1: His shin and his knee are hardly to be seen
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Speaker 1: to all anything. He says in his letter he was
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Speaker 1: a frightful spectacle. He might be so, indeed, when he
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Speaker 1: first came in adores, but he looks well enough now. And,
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Speaker 1: only for a few groans now and then, when he
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Speaker 1: thinks of his danger, I see nothing is the matter
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Speaker 1: with him. So, Mrs. Pamela, said she, I would have
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Speaker 1: you be very easy about it. I am glad of it,
16:52
Speaker 1: said I, for all your jokes, to Mrs. Jukes. Well,
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Speaker 1: said she, he talks of nothing but you. and when
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Speaker 1: I told him I would fain have persuaded you to
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Speaker 1: come with me, the man was out of his wits
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Speaker 1: with his gratitude to me, and so has laid open
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Speaker 1: all his heart to me, and told me all that
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Speaker 1: has passed, and was contriving between you two. This alarmed
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Speaker 1: me prodigiously, and the rather, as I saw, by two
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Speaker 1: or three instances, that his honest heart could keep nothing,
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Speaker 1: believing every one as undesigning as himself. I said, but
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Speaker 1: with a heavy heart, Ah, Mrs. Jukes, Mrs. Jukes, this
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Speaker 1: might have done with me, had he had any thing
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Speaker 1: that he could have told you of. But you know
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Speaker 1: well enough that had we been disposed, we had no
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Speaker 1: opportunity for it, from your watchful care and circumspection. No,
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Speaker 1: said she, that's very true, Mrs. Pamela, not so much
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Speaker 1: as for that declaration that he owned before me, He
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Speaker 1: had found opportunity for all my watchfulness to make you.' Come, come,'
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Speaker 1: said she,' no more of these shams with me. You
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Speaker 1: have an excellent headpiece for your years. But maybe I
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Speaker 1: am as cunning as you.'' However,' said she,' all is
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Speaker 1: well now, because my watchments are now over, by my
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Speaker 1: master's direction. How have you employed yourself in my absence?'
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Speaker 1: I was so troubled at what might have passed between Mr.
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Speaker 1: Williams and her, that I could not hide it. And
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Speaker 1: she said, Well, Mrs. Pamela, since all matters are likely
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Speaker 1: to be so soon and so happily ended, let me
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Speaker 1: advise you to be a little less concerned at his discoveries,
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Speaker 1: and make me your confidant, as he has done, and
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Speaker 1: I shall think you have some favor for me, and
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Speaker 1: reliance upon me, and perhaps you might not repent it.
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Speaker 1: She was so earnest that I mistrusted she did this
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Speaker 1: to pump me, and I knew how, now, to account
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Speaker 1: for her kindness to Mr. Williams in her visit to him,
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Speaker 1: which was only to get out of him what she could. Why, Mrs. Jukes,
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Speaker 1: said I, is all this fishing about for something, where
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Speaker 1: there is nothing, if there be an end of your watchments,
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Speaker 1: as you call them? Nothing, said she, but womanish curiosity,
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Speaker 1: I'll assure you. for one is naturally led to find
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Speaker 1: out matters where there is such privacy intended. Well, said I,
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Speaker 1: pray let me know what he has said, and then
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Speaker 1: I'll give you an answer to your curiosity. I don't care,
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Speaker 1: said she, whether you do or not, for I have
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Speaker 1: as much as I wanted from him, and I despair
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Speaker 1: of getting out of you anything you hadn't of mine,
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Speaker 1: should I know, my little cunning dear. Well, said I,
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Speaker 1: let him have said what he would, I care not,
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Speaker 1: for I am sure he can say no harm of me,
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Speaker 1: and so let us change the talk. I was the easier, indeed, because,
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Speaker 1: for all her pumps, she gave no hint of the
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Speaker 1: key in the door, etc., which he had communicated to her,
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Speaker 1: she would not have forborne giving me a touch of.
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Speaker 1: And so we gave up one another, as despairing to
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Speaker 1: gain our ends of each other. But I am sure
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Speaker 1: he must have said more than he should. And I
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Speaker 1: am the more apprehensive all is not right, because she
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Speaker 1: has now been actually, these two hours, shut up a-writing,
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Speaker 1: though she pretended she had given me up all her
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Speaker 1: stores of papers, etc., and that I should write for her.
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Speaker 1: I begin to wish I had ventured everything and gone off,
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Speaker 1: when I might. Oh, when will this state of doubt
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Speaker 1: and uneasiness end? She has just been with me, and
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Speaker 1: says she shall send a messenger to Bedfordshire, and he
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Speaker 1: shall carry a letter of thanks for me, if I
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Speaker 1: will write it for my master's favour to me. Indeed,
21:04
Speaker 1: said I, I have no thanks to give, till I
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Speaker 1: am with my father and mother. And besides, I sent
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Speaker 1: a letter, as you know, but have had no answer
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Speaker 1: to it. She said she thought that his letter to Mr.
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Speaker 1: Williams was sufficient, and the least I could do was
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Speaker 1: to thank him, if but in two lines. No need
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Speaker 1: of it, said I, for I don't intend to have Mr. Williams.
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Speaker 1: What then is that letter to me? Well, said she,
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Speaker 1: I see thou art quite unfathomable. I don't like all this. Oh,
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Speaker 1: my foolish fears of bulls and robbers! For now all
21:43
Speaker 1: my uneasiness begins to double upon me. Oh, what has
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Speaker 1: this incautious man said? That, no doubt, is the subject
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Speaker 1: of her long letter. I will close this day's writing
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Speaker 1: with just saying that she is mighty silent and reserved
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Speaker 1: to what she was, and says nothing but no or
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Speaker 1: yes to what I ask. Something must be hatching, I doubt.
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Speaker 1: I the rather think so, because I find she does
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Speaker 1: not keep her word with me about lying by myself
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Speaker 1: and my money, to both which points she returns suspicious answers,
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Speaker 1: saying as to the one, Why, you are mighty earnest
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Speaker 1: for your money, I shan't run away with it, and
22:29
Speaker 1: to the other, Good lack, you need not be so willing,
22:33
Speaker 1: as I know of, to part with me for a bedfellow,
22:36
Speaker 1: till you are sure of one you like better. This
22:40
Speaker 1: cut me to the heart, and at the same time
22:43
Speaker 1: stopped my mouth. TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY Mr. Williams has been here,
22:51
Speaker 1: but we have had no opportunity to talk together. He
22:55
Speaker 1: seemed confounded at Mrs. Duke's change of temper and reservedness
23:00
Speaker 1: after her kind visit and their freedom with one another.
23:04
Speaker 1: and much more at what I am going to tell you.
23:07
Speaker 1: He asked if I would take a turn in the
23:09
Speaker 1: garden with Mrs. Jukes and him. No, said she, I
23:14
Speaker 1: can't go. Said he, may not Mrs. Pamela take a walk? No,
23:20
Speaker 1: said she, I desire she won't. Why, Mrs. Jukes, said he,
23:25
Speaker 1: I'm afraid I have somehow disobliged you. Not at all,
23:30
Speaker 1: replied she. but I suppose you will soon be at
23:32
Speaker 1: liberty to walk together as much as you please, and
23:36
Speaker 1: I have sent a messenger for my last instructions about
23:39
Speaker 1: this and more weighty matters, and when they come I
23:44
Speaker 1: shall leave you to do as you both will, but,
23:47
Speaker 1: till then, it is no matter how little you are together.
23:52
Speaker 1: This alarmed us both, and he seemed quite struck of
23:55
Speaker 1: a heap, and put on, as I thought, a self-accusing countenance.
24:01
Speaker 1: So I went behind her back, and held my two
24:04
Speaker 1: hands together, flat, with a bit of paper I had
24:07
Speaker 1: between them, and looked at him, and he seemed to
24:11
Speaker 1: take me as I intended, intimating the renewing of the
24:14
Speaker 1: correspondence by the tiles. I left them both together, and
24:19
Speaker 1: retired to my closet to write a letter for the tiles,
24:23
Speaker 1: but having no time for a copy, I will give
24:26
Speaker 1: you the substance only. I expostulated with him on his
24:31
Speaker 1: too great openness and easiness to fall into Mrs. Duke's snares,
24:36
Speaker 1: told him my apprehensions of foul play, and gave briefly
24:41
Speaker 1: the reasons which moved me, begged to know what he
24:45
Speaker 1: had said, and intimated that I thought there was the
24:48
Speaker 1: highest reason to resume our prospect of the escape by
24:52
Speaker 1: the back door. I put this in the usual place
24:55
Speaker 1: in the evening, and now wait with impatience for an answer.
25:00
Speaker 1: THURSDAY I have the following answer. DEAREST MADAM, I am
25:06
Speaker 1: utterly confounded, and must plead guilty to all your just reproaches.
25:12
Speaker 1: I wish I were master of all but half your
25:14
Speaker 1: caution and discretion. I hope, after all, this is only
25:19
Speaker 1: a touch of this ill woman's temper, to show her
25:22
Speaker 1: power and importance, for I think Mr. B. neither can
25:27
Speaker 1: nor dare deceive me in so black a manner. I
25:30
Speaker 1: would expose him all the world over if he did.
25:34
Speaker 1: But it is not, cannot be in him. I have
25:38
Speaker 1: received a letter from John Arnold, in which he tells
25:41
Speaker 1: me that his master is preparing for his London journey,
25:45
Speaker 1: and believes, afterwards, he will come into these parts. But
25:50
Speaker 1: he says Lady Davers is at their house, and is
25:53
Speaker 1: to accompany her brother to London, or meet him there,
25:57
Speaker 1: he knows not which. He professes great zeal and affection
26:02
Speaker 1: to your service, and I find he refers to a
26:05
Speaker 1: letter he sent me before, but which has not come
26:08
Speaker 1: to my hand. I think there can be no treachery,
26:12
Speaker 1: for it is a particular friend at Gainsborough that I
26:16
Speaker 1: have ordered him to direct to, and this has come
26:19
Speaker 1: safe to my hands by this means, for well I
26:23
Speaker 1: know I durst trust nothing to Brett at the post-house here.
26:27
Speaker 1: This gives me a little pain, but I hope all
26:31
Speaker 1: will end well, and we shall soon hear, if it
26:34
Speaker 1: be necessary to pursue our former intentions. If it be,
26:38
Speaker 1: I will lose no time to provide a horse for you,
26:41
Speaker 1: and another for myself, for I can never do either
26:45
Speaker 1: God or myself better service, though I were to forego
26:49
Speaker 1: all my expectations for it here. I am your most faithful,
26:54
Speaker 1: humble servant. I was too free indeed with Mrs. Jukes,
26:59
Speaker 1: led to it by her dissimulation, and by her pretended
27:03
Speaker 1: concern to make me happy with you. I hinted that
27:07
Speaker 1: I would not have scrupled to have procured your deliverance
27:11
Speaker 1: by any means, and that I had proposed to you,
27:14
Speaker 1: as the only honourable one, marriage with me. But I
27:18
Speaker 1: assured her, though she would hardly believe me, that you
27:22
Speaker 1: discouraged my application, which is too true. but not a
27:27
Speaker 1: word of the back-door key, etc. Mrs. Jukes continues still
27:33
Speaker 1: sullen and ill-natured, and I am almost afraid to speak
27:37
Speaker 1: to her. She watches me as close as ever, and
27:40
Speaker 1: pretends to wonder why I shun her company as I do.
27:44
Speaker 1: I have just put under the tiles these lines inspired
27:48
Speaker 1: by my fears, which are indeed very strong, and I
27:52
Speaker 1: doubt not without reason. Sir, Everything gives me additional disturbance.
28:00
Speaker 1: The missed letter of John Arnold's makes me suspect a plot.
28:05
Speaker 1: Yet I am loath to think myself of so much
28:08
Speaker 1: importance as to suppose everyone in a plot against me.
28:13
Speaker 1: Are you sure, however, the London journey is not to
28:16
Speaker 1: be a Lincolnshire one? May not John, who has been
28:20
Speaker 1: once a traitor, be so again? Why need I be
28:23
Speaker 1: thus endowed? If I could have this horse, I would
28:27
Speaker 1: turn the reins on his neck, and trust to Providence
28:30
Speaker 1: to guide him for my safeguard. For I would not
28:33
Speaker 1: endanger you, now just upon the edge of your preferment. Yet, sir,
28:39
Speaker 1: I fear your fatal openness will make you suspected as accessory.
28:44
Speaker 1: Let us be ever so cautious. Were my life in question,
28:48
Speaker 1: instead of my honesty, I would not wish to involve you,
28:52
Speaker 1: or anybody, in the least difficulty. for so worthless a
28:56
Speaker 1: poor creature. But, O sir, my soul is of equal
29:00
Speaker 1: importance with the soul of a princess, though my quality
29:04
Speaker 1: is inferior to that of the meanest slave. Save then
29:09
Speaker 1: my innocence, good heaven, and preserve my mind spotless. And
29:14
Speaker 1: happy shall I be to lay down my worthless life
29:17
Speaker 1: and see an end to all my troubles and anxieties.
29:21
Speaker 1: Forgive my impatience, but my presaging mind bodes horrid mischiefs
29:27
Speaker 1: everything looks dark around me in this woman's impenetrable sullenness
29:32
Speaker 1: and silence without any apparent reason from a conduct so
29:36
Speaker 1: very contrary bid me fear the worst Blame me, sir,
29:41
Speaker 1: if you think me wrong, and let me have your
29:44
Speaker 1: advice what to do, which will oblige your most afflicted servant.
29:51
Speaker 1: FRIDAY I have this half-angry answer. But what is more
29:56
Speaker 1: to me than all the letters in the world could
29:58
Speaker 1: be yours, my dear father, enclosed. Madam, I think you
30:04
Speaker 1: are too apprehensive by much. I am sorry for your uneasiness.
30:09
Speaker 1: You may depend upon me in all I can do.
30:13
Speaker 1: But I make no doubt of the London journey, nor
30:15
Speaker 1: of John's contrition and fidelity. I have just received from
30:20
Speaker 1: my Gainsborough friend this letter, as I suppose, from your
30:24
Speaker 1: good father, in a cover directed for me as I
30:27
Speaker 1: had desired. I hope it contains nothing to add to
30:31
Speaker 1: your uneasiness. Pray, dearest madam, lay aside your fears, and
30:36
Speaker 1: wait a few days for the issue of Mrs. Duke's letter,
30:40
Speaker 1: and mine of thanks to Mr. B. Things, I hope,
30:44
Speaker 1: must be better than you expect. Providence will not desert
30:48
Speaker 1: such piety and innocence, and be this your comfort and reliance,
30:53
Speaker 1: which is the best advice that can be at present
30:56
Speaker 1: given by your most faithful, humble servant. Nota Bene The
31:03
Speaker 1: Father's letter was as follows. My dearest daughter, Our prayers
31:09
Speaker 1: are at length heard, and we are overwhelmed with joy.
31:12
Speaker 1: O what sufferings, what trials hast thou gone through! Blessed
31:17
Speaker 1: be the divine goodness which has enabled thee to withstand
31:21
Speaker 1: so many temptations. We have not yet had leisure to
31:26
Speaker 1: read through your long accounts of all your hardships. I
31:29
Speaker 1: say long, because I wonder how you could find time
31:32
Speaker 1: and opportunity for them. But otherwise they are the delight
31:36
Speaker 1: of our spare hours, and we shall read them over
31:40
Speaker 1: and over, as long as we live, with thankfulness to God,
31:43
Speaker 1: who has given us so virtuous and so discreet a daughter.
31:48
Speaker 1: How happy is our lot in the midst of our poverty!
31:52
Speaker 1: O let none ever think children a burden to them,
31:55
Speaker 1: when the poorest circumstances can produce so much riches in
32:00
Speaker 1: a Pamela. Persist, my dear daughter, in the same excellent course,
32:05
Speaker 1: and we shall not envy the highest estate, but defy
32:09
Speaker 1: them to produce such a daughter as ours. I said
32:14
Speaker 1: we had not read through all yours in course. We
32:17
Speaker 1: were too impatient, and so turned to the end. where
32:21
Speaker 1: we could find your virtue within view of its reward,
32:24
Speaker 1: and your master's heart turned to see the folly of
32:27
Speaker 1: his ways, and the injury he had attended to our
32:30
Speaker 1: dear child. For, to be sure, my dear, he would
32:34
Speaker 1: have ruined you if he could. But seeing your virtue,
32:38
Speaker 1: his heart is touched, and he has, no doubt, been
32:42
Speaker 1: awakened by your good example. We don't see that you
32:46
Speaker 1: can do any way so well as to come to
32:49
Speaker 1: the present proposal, and make Mr. Williams, the worthy Mr. Williams,
32:54
Speaker 1: God bless him, happy. And though we are poor, and
32:59
Speaker 1: can add no merit, no reputation, no fortune to our
33:03
Speaker 1: dear child, but rather must be a disgrace to her,
33:07
Speaker 1: as the world will think, yet I hope I do
33:10
Speaker 1: not sin in my pride to say that there is
33:13
Speaker 1: no good man of a common degree, especially as your
33:18
Speaker 1: late lady's kindness gave you such good opportunities, which you
33:22
Speaker 1: have had the grace to improve, but may think himself
33:25
Speaker 1: happy in you. But, as you say, you had rather
33:29
Speaker 1: not marry at present, far be it from us to
33:32
Speaker 1: offer violence to your inclination. So much prudence, if you
33:37
Speaker 1: have shown, in all your conduct, would make it very
33:40
Speaker 1: wrong in us to mistrust in this, or to offer
33:44
Speaker 1: to direct you in your choice. But alas, my child,
33:48
Speaker 1: what can we do for you? To partake our hard lot,
33:52
Speaker 1: and involve yourself into as hard a life would not
33:55
Speaker 1: help us, but add to your afflictions. But it will
33:59
Speaker 1: be time enough to talk of these things, when we
34:02
Speaker 1: have the pleasure you now put us in hope of,
34:05
Speaker 1: of seeing you with us, which God grant. Amen, amen,
34:10
Speaker 1: say your most indulgent parents. Amen. Our humblest service and
34:17
Speaker 1: thanks to the worthy Mr. Williams again we say. God
34:21
Speaker 1: bless him forever. Oh, what a deal we have to
34:25
Speaker 1: say to you. God give us a happy meeting. We
34:28
Speaker 1: understand the squire is setting out for London. He is
34:32
Speaker 1: a fine gentleman, and has wit at will. I wish
34:36
Speaker 1: he was as good, but I hope he will now reform. Oh,
34:43
Speaker 1: what inexpressible comfort, my dear father, has your letter given me.
34:48
Speaker 1: You ask, what could you do for me? What is
34:51
Speaker 1: it you cannot do for your child? You can give
34:54
Speaker 1: her the advice she has so much wanted and still
34:57
Speaker 1: wants and will always want. You can confirm her in
35:01
Speaker 1: the paths of virtue into which you first initiated her.
35:06
Speaker 1: And you can pray for her with hearts so sincere
35:09
Speaker 1: and pure and that are not to be met with
35:12
Speaker 1: in palaces oh how i long to throw myself at
35:16
Speaker 1: your feet and receive from your own lips the blessings
35:19
Speaker 1: of such good parents but alas how are my prospects
35:25
Speaker 1: again overclouded to what they were when i closed my
35:29
Speaker 1: last parcel more trials more dangers i fear must your
35:34
Speaker 1: poor pamela be engaged in but through the divine goodness
35:39
Speaker 1: and your prayers I hope at last to get well
35:42
Speaker 1: out of all my difficulties, and the rather, as they
35:46
Speaker 1: are not the effect of my own vanity or presumption.
35:50
Speaker 1: But I will proceed with my hopeless story. I saw Mr.
35:54
Speaker 1: Williams was a little nettled at my impatience, and so
35:58
Speaker 1: I wrote to assure him I would be as easy
36:01
Speaker 1: as I could and wholly directed by him, especially as
36:05
Speaker 1: my father, whose respects I mentioned, had assured me my
36:09
Speaker 1: master was setting out for london which he must have
36:12
Speaker 1: somehow from his own family or he would not have
36:16
Speaker 1: written me word of it saturday sunday mr williams has
36:22
Speaker 1: been here both these days as usual but is very
36:26
Speaker 1: indifferently received still by mrs jukes and to avoid suspicion
36:31
Speaker 1: i left them together and went up to my closet
36:35
Speaker 1: most of the time he was here He and she,
36:38
Speaker 1: I found by her, had a quarrel, and she seems
36:42
Speaker 1: quite out of humour with him. But I thought it
36:45
Speaker 1: best not to say anything. And, he said, he would
36:48
Speaker 1: very little trouble the house till he had an answer
36:51
Speaker 1: to his letter from Mr. B. And she returned, the
36:55
Speaker 1: less the better. Poor man, he has got but little
37:00
Speaker 1: by his openness, making Mrs. Jukes his confidant, as she bragged.
37:05
Speaker 1: and would have had me to do likewise. I am
37:09
Speaker 1: more and more satisfied there is mischief brewing, and shall
37:12
Speaker 1: begin to hide my papers, and be circumspect. She seems
37:17
Speaker 1: mighty impatient for an answer to her letter to my master.