Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: Couples Counseling with Jenny Mollen + Jason Biggs
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: You're listening to a new segment of Dear Chelsea.
- 0:03Speaker 2: Call it Couple's Counseling with Chelsea, where we do couple's
- 0:07Speaker 2: counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.
- 0:12Speaker 2: I'm here with my friends Jenny Mullen and Jason Biggs,
- 0:14Speaker 2: and we are going to do.
- 0:16Speaker 1: Some couples counseling.
- 0:18Speaker 2: Welcome to my office, Welcome to Chelsea's Couple's Counseling.
- 0:23Speaker 1: Or where's the beef? Where's your beef with Chelsea? Where's
- 0:27Speaker 1: Chelsea's beef with you?
- 0:28Speaker 2: I don't know what we're calling the segment yet, but
- 0:30Speaker 2: these are many episodes, and I'm very delighted to say
- 0:32Speaker 2: with two of my very old friends, Jason Biggs and
- 0:37Speaker 2: his wife Jenny, which name are we using these days?
- 0:41Speaker 1: Mullin Biggs Handler.
- 0:44Speaker 2: Okay, Jenny and Jason if you're familiar with them online.
- 0:48Speaker 2: Jenny is one hot mess and she loves loves to
- 0:54Speaker 2: get into it with her husband, who also really loves
- 0:57Speaker 2: to get into it with his wife.
- 0:59Speaker 1: I mean, you guys, are I would call you codependent fighters?
- 1:02Speaker 1: A real couple therapists would say that too.
- 1:04Speaker 2: Yep, that you're codependent, very and does that have anything
- 1:09Speaker 2: to do with your disagreements?
- 1:11Speaker 1: Yes, okay, let's start with one.
- 1:14Speaker 2: This is one that I actually I was As I
- 1:15Speaker 2: was reading this, I thought, wow, this sounds a lot
- 1:17Speaker 2: like me. So maybe I should be love making to
- 1:19Speaker 2: Jason every night. Jason, you sleep with a lot of pillows, right,
- 1:22Speaker 2: and you use pillows between your legs like you're like
- 1:24Speaker 2: a pregnant woman.
- 1:25Speaker 1: I do, yeah, and you And how many pillows does
- 1:28Speaker 1: that leave you with? Jenny? A single pillow? Okay, and
- 1:32Speaker 1: how many pillows are in the bed total?
- 1:34Speaker 3: Well, twenty six. I can actually count this up for
- 1:37Speaker 3: real and give you a real answer here. So I
- 1:40Speaker 3: have three pillows that are propped up that my legs
- 1:44Speaker 3: go on like that.
- 1:45Speaker 1: It's because are you do you have a back issue.
- 1:48Speaker 3: Or any these lower backs? So this kind of gets
- 1:50Speaker 3: me in a nice position, you know, like in the.
- 1:52Speaker 4: Movies the eighties where somebody's like in a full body
- 1:54Speaker 4: cast and.
- 1:55Speaker 3: Yeah, in the hospital. Tell you what if, Jason, if
- 1:58Speaker 3: I could mount a like a wire from the ceiling,
- 2:01Speaker 3: like a gurney type situation to put my strap my
- 2:05Speaker 3: feet into.
- 2:05Speaker 1: To alleviate the lower back, I would need to be.
- 2:09Speaker 3: Up to here's the other. Yes, exactly, So I have
- 2:11Speaker 3: those taking care of my legs, my lower back. I
- 2:15Speaker 3: also have shoulder issues, so so on either side of
- 2:19Speaker 3: my arms, I have both arms.
- 2:21Speaker 2: Do you have shoulder issues for eating so much pussy?
- 2:24Speaker 3: It's that's my doctor says, that's one reason of many.
- 2:28Speaker 3: Also sucking a lot of dicky.
- 2:30Speaker 1: So how's that? How does that work on your shoulders?
- 2:32Speaker 1: Because on your face dick today?
- 2:36Speaker 3: But I have so two arm pillows and then I've
- 2:39Speaker 3: got two pillows.
- 2:40Speaker 1: Behind, like an airplane pillow.
- 2:42Speaker 3: Like no, but I've I've I've used an airplane pillow
- 2:47Speaker 3: in bed before sometimes, but ultimately I abandoned that idea.
- 2:50Speaker 3: I just go with two. But like I have, one
- 2:52Speaker 3: of the pillows is like kind of a soft down.
- 2:54Speaker 1: To those penis, like one of those airplanes.
- 2:56Speaker 3: Props, dick, like a cockering cockering, and the and the
- 3:00Speaker 3: second pillow is a temper pedic pillow. It's a whole situation.
- 3:04Speaker 1: This sounds a lot like my situation.
- 3:06Speaker 3: It's yeah, and that's the only him.
- 3:08Speaker 1: Well, well, how do you have sex?
- 3:10Speaker 2: Me?
- 3:11Speaker 1: No, I don't. That's the thing. It's like a chastity wall.
- 3:14Speaker 1: So how do you if you are in the mood.
- 3:16Speaker 1: Are you in the mood?
- 3:17Speaker 4: Well, I don't have sex with him at night. Oh,
- 3:21Speaker 4: there's no way in it's a fortress.
- 3:23Speaker 3: Because well but hold on, you're gonna put it. You're
- 3:26Speaker 3: gonna point fingers at the pillows. For the reason that
- 3:27Speaker 3: we're not having night sex, it's also the fact night sex.
- 3:31Speaker 3: It's also the fact that night sweats and night sex.
- 3:34Speaker 3: It's the fact that you fall asleep at seven pm,
- 3:36Speaker 3: like after the kids got like or eight pm when
- 3:38Speaker 3: the kids die first.
- 3:39Speaker 1: All, I also love that bad time for myself.
- 3:41Speaker 3: Well, by the way, me too, I'm not mad at this.
- 3:43Speaker 3: Just don't put false don't make false accusations as to
- 3:45Speaker 3: why we're not having night sex. We are both in
- 3:47Speaker 3: agreement that after any.
- 3:49Speaker 4: Person who wanted to have sex with you have sex
- 3:52Speaker 4: with you when you're in that contraption.
- 3:53Speaker 2: Well you could, if you, Jenny in his defense, if
- 3:56Speaker 2: you really wanted to get after that body, you would
- 3:59Speaker 2: make your way through those pillows.
- 4:00Speaker 1: Yeah, if you guys had just started dating and he
- 4:03Speaker 1: was pulling that kind of janery, you would figure out
- 4:06Speaker 1: a way around it. You would get in there and
- 4:08Speaker 1: be like, I want to wake you up with another
- 4:10Speaker 1: blow job love my life.
- 4:12Speaker 3: You're right, soul made interesting fact. Jenny puts me to
- 4:15Speaker 3: sleep with her blow jobs.
- 4:17Speaker 1: That's how I love him to sleep.
- 4:19Speaker 2: Yes, nice before a climax, before you even climax.
- 4:22Speaker 3: Just everything falls asleep. She just puts her lips around
- 4:24Speaker 3: my penis. I fall asleep first, then my penis falls asleep,
- 4:28Speaker 3: and then I don't know. I wake up and Jenny's
- 4:30Speaker 3: there somewhere underneath the pillow, sleeping, sleeping. Uh no, I
- 4:37Speaker 3: it's a conversation that could happen. You're wearing the next pillow.
- 4:41Speaker 2: Let's work on a plane, Jason, when you need all
- 4:43Speaker 2: of these accouterments.
- 4:44Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a whole situation.
- 4:46Speaker 1: What do you do on a plane? Do you travel
- 4:47Speaker 1: with a pillow?
- 4:48Speaker 3: I will often do the neck pillow, even if I'm
- 4:51Speaker 3: flying flat. Neck pillow helps, But you know, I generally
- 4:54Speaker 3: ask for an extra pillow or I'm using a jacket.
- 4:57Speaker 3: I mean, it's a thing.
- 4:58Speaker 1: And did this start like what age? When you started?
- 5:01Speaker 4: It was definitely when I introduced the pregnancy pillow Chang's Life.
- 5:06Speaker 1: Oh that was I want one of those. I want
- 5:09Speaker 1: one of those.
- 5:10Speaker 3: The pregnancy pillow was incredible because it's interesting. So I
- 5:13Speaker 3: start my night with arms propped up, legs propped.
- 5:16Speaker 2: Up, like a paralyzed person or someone who's recovering from
- 5:19Speaker 2: a massive injury.
- 5:20Speaker 3: A massive whole body cast a motorcycle accident. Yes, in
- 5:25Speaker 3: an eighties movie, in an eighties comedy, in an eighties comedy.
- 5:30Speaker 1: Everything, do you have a straight jacket at the house?
- 5:33Speaker 3: Only my eyes are showing and a hole for my
- 5:36Speaker 3: penis so she can put me to bed. But eventually,
- 5:38Speaker 3: at some point in the night I want to sleep
- 5:41Speaker 3: on my side. It's very strange.
- 5:43Speaker 1: I understand this. I'm just about to ask you what happened.
- 5:45Speaker 3: So at some point in the night, and by the way,
- 5:47Speaker 3: this is when I'm in that position, I'm above there's
- 5:50Speaker 3: no nothing covering me, So I have the air on
- 5:53Speaker 3: as low as I can get it, because she's wants
- 5:56Speaker 3: it on one hundred degrees and I want it on
- 5:58Speaker 3: fifty degrees, and so we try to compromise. But generally
- 6:01Speaker 3: that involves me being very hot at night and having
- 6:04Speaker 3: to sleep above the covers. At around above ground it's
- 6:07Speaker 3: an above ground pool, and Jenny's swimming in the deep
- 6:09Speaker 3: end of a nice inground beauty. At a certain point,
- 6:12Speaker 3: I do get a little chilly. Finally, when I can
- 6:15Speaker 3: she falls asleep. I'll turn the air down, I relax.
- 6:17Speaker 3: Whatever my body cools down, I will need to go
- 6:20Speaker 3: under the covers. But here's the move. I go on
- 6:23Speaker 3: my side and one leg goes under the covers. This
- 6:29Speaker 3: leg comes above the covers, so the covers are coming
- 6:32Speaker 3: between my legs with the pillows, the aforementioned pillows that
- 6:35Speaker 3: were form my legs here and then I'm on my
- 6:37Speaker 3: side here one of my arm pillows comes over. Because
- 6:41Speaker 3: if I sleep like this, my shoulders like off the
- 6:43Speaker 3: cocked right. So I'm like this, it's a good thing
- 6:45Speaker 3: you're taping this episode.
- 6:47Speaker 1: It's just amazing that you're not Jewish. You know what
- 6:49Speaker 1: I mean?
- 6:50Speaker 2: It is amazing, Okay, Because so when I'm skiing, I
- 6:53Speaker 2: always have back pain when I ski.
- 6:54Speaker 1: So when I'm skiing, I sleep.
- 6:56Speaker 2: With my legs up on a pillow because I always
- 6:58Speaker 2: want my knee to like de swell from the night.
- 7:01Speaker 1: And then when I turn over, it's the same thing.
- 7:03Speaker 2: And what I really I put the pillows in between
- 7:05Speaker 2: my legs and I turn over and I have one
- 7:06Speaker 2: leg up. But what I realized was when you're on
- 7:09Speaker 2: your side like that. That's not helpful for your back.
- 7:11Speaker 2: That can irritate your back even more so I stop
- 7:13Speaker 2: doing that now. I only have pillows only when I'm
- 7:15Speaker 2: on my back.
- 7:16Speaker 1: When I turn over it's flat.
- 7:18Speaker 3: Yeah, but so your knees are hitting.
- 7:20Speaker 1: Well, No, I put one knee like I do, like a.
- 7:22Speaker 3: Little like at this, like a this.
- 7:25Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
- 7:26Speaker 3: Yeah, especially a hot position.
- 7:28Speaker 1: No, I think it could be a hot position for
- 7:30Speaker 1: you as well.
- 7:31Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean maybe. Yeah. It's not going to change
- 7:34Speaker 3: our sex life, but it could be fun to just
- 7:36Speaker 3: do it. But you don't know.
- 7:37Speaker 1: I mean, if you guys. What's curious to me is.
- 7:39Speaker 2: If you guys aren't having sex at night, when are
- 7:42Speaker 2: you having sex?
- 7:42Speaker 3: And you're saying sex for us generally needs to be
- 7:45Speaker 3: a conversation and a plan. It's generally not spontaneous. Occasionally
- 7:49Speaker 3: it is what about where the kids go to see
- 7:51Speaker 3: And it usually takes a few days of talking about
- 7:53Speaker 3: it for it to happen. By the way, it's not
- 7:54Speaker 3: like it's not like, hey, babe, should we you know,
- 7:57Speaker 3: what are you doing in an hour? Are you freeing that?
- 7:59Speaker 3: It's like who wha? It is not like we need
- 8:02Speaker 3: to do it on plan for it on Friday's out
- 8:05Speaker 3: of the shower with a direction. Yeah, and I'll be like, baby,
- 8:08Speaker 3: you know what do you think She's like, no, no, no,
- 8:11Speaker 3: And then that so that's so that's Tuesday. She's like,
- 8:14Speaker 3: I can't. I'm not You're just gonna whip this out.
- 8:16Speaker 3: I'm just not. I have to go to a thing
- 8:19Speaker 3: in two hours. I'm like, so two hours. No, it's
- 8:22Speaker 3: just I can't. I'm not in the okay. And then
- 8:25Speaker 3: but don't act like you always want to have sex. No,
- 8:27Speaker 3: but then hold on, baby, I'm not done. And then
- 8:29Speaker 3: that's Tuesday Wednesday. She's like, remember yesterday when you, uh, well,
- 8:35Speaker 3: I've got you know, do you want to I'm like,
- 8:38Speaker 3: I sorry, I have to take a ship. Yeah exactly.
- 8:43Speaker 3: So then I go ship and then you know that,
- 8:45Speaker 3: and then that day is done. Well.
- 8:46Speaker 4: The worst is when like will have sex and then
- 8:49Speaker 4: he's like, I need a poop, and I'm like, you
- 8:51Speaker 4: were holding poop in the whole time you're having sex.
- 8:54Speaker 3: Just maybe if he's gonna stick your thumb up my
- 8:56Speaker 3: asshole while we were having sex, you know that?
- 8:58Speaker 1: You know that makes sure? Bathroom.
- 9:00Speaker 2: I don't know if anyone here is done anal, but
- 9:02Speaker 2: if you have, you understand that you get diarrhea for
- 9:04Speaker 2: about three days afterward.
- 9:05Speaker 1: I heard that from a very close friend. Really wait,
- 9:08Speaker 1: I never get diarrhea.
- 9:10Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, it's better than a you have it,
- 9:13Speaker 3: it's better than a collect Maybe.
- 9:15Speaker 1: You're doing.
- 9:17Speaker 4: My friend, ask your friends.
- 9:21Speaker 3: Who are you having anal sex with?
- 9:23Speaker 1: I mean, when I've had anal sucks.
- 9:25Speaker 2: Okay, so there's no hand holding in bed, there's nothing
- 9:28Speaker 2: like that. You guys are both going to your separate
- 9:29Speaker 2: camps essentially every night when you go to bed, right, And.
- 9:32Speaker 1: Do you ever go to bed angry?
- 9:34Speaker 3: Yes?
- 9:34Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, more than you go to be like with
- 9:37Speaker 2: the ratio of like when you're having an issue, do
- 9:40Speaker 2: you normally resolve it or do you go to bed angry? Like?
- 9:44Speaker 1: Which which one is? We will go to.
- 9:46Speaker 4: Bed sometimes like exhausted by each other.
- 9:50Speaker 1: Do you ever sleep in separate rooms? No?
- 9:53Speaker 4: No, you like, well, I mean if I fall asleep
- 9:55Speaker 4: in Sid's bed or something like that, But I don't think.
- 9:57Speaker 3: We're ever like I'm going to another she sleeps.
- 10:01Speaker 1: With and she sleeps with.
- 10:01Speaker 2: Listen, I had a friend, I have a friend. She'll
- 10:04Speaker 2: go She'll remain nameless. Who slept with her daughter and
- 10:08Speaker 2: her husband in their bed. They had their daughter until
- 10:10Speaker 2: she was sixteen years old, and they're divorced.
- 10:14Speaker 1: So that doesn't insane at all.
- 10:17Speaker 2: They did not have sex for twelve years a couple
- 10:20Speaker 2: that was staying together, that was married, Yes, tell.
- 10:23Speaker 3: See, but again this hold on. I just go back
- 10:26Speaker 3: to the sex part of this because nighttime, I like,
- 10:30Speaker 3: I hear that and I don't go, well, their sex
- 10:32Speaker 3: life is ruined because maybe it's because we don't have
- 10:35Speaker 3: nine to fives, it's different, but like.
- 10:36Speaker 4: We'll like it'll be like it's more often like it's
- 10:39Speaker 4: daylight where like in the in the in the afternoon, yea.
- 10:43Speaker 3: In the afternoon, you know, she's home, I'm home, Yeah,
- 10:47Speaker 3: and nanny took the kids somewhere and it's like, hey,
- 10:50Speaker 3: you know, and it finally aligned. Yeah, I don't have
- 10:53Speaker 3: to shop and she's not doing something, and then we'll
- 10:55Speaker 3: like do it. We're just like worked over.
- 10:57Speaker 2: Yeah, And by the time, yeah, I understand because when
- 10:59Speaker 2: you know, I'm always in the beginning of relationships now,
- 11:02Speaker 2: like so it's always sex because I don't see them
- 11:04Speaker 2: very often, so when I see them, it's not stop sex.
- 11:07Speaker 1: And I want to night time. I want to fuck
- 11:08Speaker 1: it out that way, you know what I mean.
- 11:10Speaker 2: I don't want it to get to a point where
- 11:12Speaker 2: I'm like, not tonight, I'm too tired. I want to
- 11:14Speaker 2: be like it's to be a sexathon and then you
- 11:16Speaker 2: leave and I don't see you.
- 11:17Speaker 1: For two to two weeks to two months.
- 11:20Speaker 4: You know, when you've been in relationships, like do you
- 11:23Speaker 4: guys ever, Like does the sex ever migrate towards the day?
- 11:28Speaker 2: Absolutely? Day, night, sex on morning, all time. They're there
- 11:31Speaker 2: to fuck me, Like that's what we're doing.
- 11:33Speaker 3: The priority is sex for us. It's a bonus.
- 11:36Speaker 1: Yeah, well you have a family.
- 11:38Speaker 3: It's just like yeah, okay, well too many balls in
- 11:41Speaker 3: the air, not enough balls in her mouth?
- 11:42Speaker 2: Okay, Well, thank you for sharing your intimacy with us
- 11:45Speaker 2: and our listeners.
- 11:46Speaker 1: You're welcome. That turned everybody on. Yes, okay.
- 11:49Speaker 2: So you can check out Jenny mull and substack The
- 11:52Speaker 2: Best Friend Experience.
- 11:53Speaker 1: And her new side hustle The Shirts Off My Back,
- 11:56Speaker 1: where you can buy fabulous vintage clothes.
- 11:58Speaker 2: And you can also check out Jenny and Jason and
- 12:00Speaker 2: co hosting Dinner in a Movie on TBS, premiering tomorrow
- 12:03Speaker 2: June first,