Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 36. Resting is a Revolution: What We Can Learn From Nature and Seasons and How Capitalism Doesn’t Honor Rest with Brenda Moreno

Transcript

36. Resting is a Revolution: What We Can Learn From Nature and Seasons and How Capitalism Doesn’t Honor Rest with Brenda Moreno · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Capitalism teaches us that we should be in perpetual summer, constantly doing, constantly producing.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: But there's something that Mother Nature teaches us the importance of honoring our seasons of rest, of fall and winter.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: So today I'm joined by my client, Brenda Herrera Moreno, an anti-oppression practitioner who works with white allies.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: And she has a beautiful way of teaching how we can learn so much about liberation and rest from learning from Mama Nature herself.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: So I'm dropping this episode in fall with the beautiful leaves changing.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: And they're beautiful to look at while at the same time.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: Asking ourselves, what is dead weight that we need to let go of?
1:07
SPEAKER_01: And if we don't pause and rest to realign ourselves, how are we supposed to truly survive?
1:14
SPEAKER_01: So I delve deeper with Brenda in this episode.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: Let's drop the beat and a reminder: resting is a revolution.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: Hey legacy maker, I'm your host and emcee, Elaine Lucartis, business and career coach for Women of Color and Allies.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: And welcome to the Call Your Dreams podcast, where we have conscious conversations to help you create a business that's clear, that is sustainable, funded, and equitable to lifestyle you deserve.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: So we have a grab your coffee, tea, and arbitrage and let's call your dreams to create your legacy.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: We are dropping this episode mid-December, so you're probably just wanting to rest.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited to have my client and friend Brenda Herrero Moreno come on in and talk about why resting is a revolution.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: Brenda, welcome.
2:31
SPEAKER_01: Hi.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Hello.
2:33
SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to share with you with all of you why I wanted Brenda to come in.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: So she's all the way from Massachusetts.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: She flew into LA.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: We did a VIP day together, and she was at my retreat.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: And she was just talking about how we could learn so much from nature and seasons when it comes to rest and how capitalism doesn't honor rest.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: I was like, ooh, it's so beautiful.
2:58
SPEAKER_01: And I for those that probably can't see, there's beautiful plants all around her and furry animals.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: But Brenda, can you share more about the work you do?
3:08
SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: So I am the founder and director, CEO, all sorts of school titles of Invisible Paradigms.
3:18
SPEAKER_02: And that is an anti-oppression organization that is committed to informing and transforming white allies into the work movement and community of anti-oppression.
3:29
SPEAKER_02: So we really see it more than just trainings and isms and skills, but more about personal transformation, relational transformation in the multifaceted ways that exist in anti-oppression.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: So I also would love to know how did you find the parallel on incorporating plants and seasons into the work you do?
3:51
SPEAKER_02: I well, so a lot of my personal, just personal stumblings in life, right?
3:58
SPEAKER_02: When we are a part of transformation, we get to see yourself differently.
4:02
SPEAKER_02: We get to see sort of the parts of us that are not really ours to begin with, but either like habits or ideologies or things that we inherited.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: And for me, it was understanding that the myth or the trap of capitalism that I disconnected from nature, that I that nature and me are very different entities, was a big part of understanding that there's a lot of opportunities and lessons in wisdom and medicine in nature, plants, and ecosystems that we can learn from to move and shape relationships.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: And this isn't my own theory.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: This is something that has been studied by a lot of different elders, contemporary and generational ones.
4:50
SPEAKER_02: But once you get to integrate it in your life and really see the world differently, is when I started to incorporate metaphors, images, tools, and practices that we can observe from the world around us, from nature around us.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: I mean, nature is a perfect example because it's in front of us.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: And you can't, as much as humans would love to control it, you can't control if it's going to be raining or snowing outside, right?
5:18
SPEAKER_01: Or what seasons we're in.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: And one of the big things you shared, especially since this episode is dropping during the winter time, was you explaining how capitalism honors summer and not the other seasons.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: So can you share more about that and why that's important to note as human beings?
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: So if we're talking about rest, there is, I think, a big hurdle that we have when it comes to rest and professionalism, or rest and personal fulfillment.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: And if we think about our careers or what it we're promoted and conditioned to like achieve in professional life, it is one that is stuck within the summer season.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: And this comes from the INE Institutes called AYNI Institute, based here out in Boston.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: And they did a fantastic training that I that has resonated with me, and I continue to share it because it's so powerful.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: And they say that capitalism traps us and ensnares us in this summer season where we're over-extracting our resources.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: And that's what something that capitalism and colonialism do very well is to see natural resources, including people, as tools for productivity.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: And so what happens when we overtill the soil or we don't replenish the soil with nutrients and we don't take care of the people that are helping us achieve the goals, people become burnt out, exhausted, resentful, fatigue, mental health, all of these important parts about human connection deteriorate.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: And so seasons, if we look at nature, seasons play a role.
7:07
SPEAKER_02: Every season has a purpose.
7:10
SPEAKER_02: And summer is only one of four that are found, for instance, in the New England area that we see.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: Can't speak for California because that feels like an internal summer too.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: There are some parts.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: There are some parts that's though.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: People forget California is a huge state.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: It's basically the East Coast.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: It is true.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: My bad.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: My bad, my bad, my bad.
7:31
SPEAKER_02: But those seasons are so important.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: And what comes after summer is fall.
7:36
SPEAKER_02: Fall is a time where we harvest and decompose, lessons, things, leaves start to fall.
7:42
SPEAKER_02: Everything starts to get ready for winter, which is the hibernation, restorative part, the part of rest that bears do, and many other mammals as well.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: Then we get into spring, which is experimenting, expanding.
7:55
SPEAKER_02: This is when this is when seeds that need to go through a frost begin to thaw.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: And then they're ready for this explosive energy of creation.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: And every season, like summer, is only as successful as winter is.
8:10
SPEAKER_02: Winter is only as successful as spring is.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: But everything also in these seasons of rest and personal fulfillment, we need each one of them.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: And I think we're in professionalism, in capitalism, in our society, we think that we we have this phobia of resting.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: We don't know how to even enter fall, let alone a good deep winter.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think about how we're recording this in November, so it's fall, and I'm very jealous because I know in New England you get to see the beautiful colors of the trees.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: And when you started doing this, I started doing my own research.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: And like the reason why fall is so important for trees is because it's letting go of heavy weight that's no longer needed, which is the leaves.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna add something.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Go ahead, Brent.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're nodding seriously.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: So I went to school in Hampshire College in western Massachusetts, and there was one fall that was very short and a winter that was very early, and it was a perfect storm to your point about leaves that leaves need to fall because if if snow comes in, the trees can survive and stay upright, degenerate and grow.
9:30
SPEAKER_02: But what ended up happening this winter or that season was the leaves stayed on.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: And so when snow came in, there was more surface area on the trees, which meant a lot of trees didn't make it or branches got broken off in power lines.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: So we need to let things go in order to make it through what might be coming ahead.
9:53
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes there's storms or heavy winters that just put a lot more pressure on us.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: And if we can let go of some things, we can like stand a little bit stronger for what the next season to come.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I loved that you shared that, the importance of letting go.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: And when we compare it as humans, there's a phrase that I've heard in the business world, like every new level, there's a new devil.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: You know, when you're going through expansion, the acknowledgement of what are things that you need to let go of or that you need to heal from.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure vulnerably, oh my gosh, I'm being triggered.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: There's so much healing until me to go back to and going back to therapy.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: Because honestly, if I didn't do that work, I don't know if I'd be able to go to the next level in my business.
10:40
SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean next level in terms of revenue, but next level in terms of alignment to what feels good in my business.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Is there anything you want to add to what I just shared to that?
10:51
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: And I think when I when I do the work with white allies and majority white organizations, when we when we when I speak about alignment or when I speak about rest, it is that part of letting go of something in order for something better or more nourishing to take that place.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: And so alignment is over the course of a personal transformation and allyship, it is getting closer to, you know, you can talk, you can see that journey as spiritual, you can see that journey as emotional, you can see that journey as very being very similar to this life, allyship journey and and life journey.
11:32
SPEAKER_02: And it's true, like once you get through the transformation and feeling, letting go of things, then you can take alignment in in what feels good, what is sort of your purpose in some way, what you're confident to do.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Because the challenge and issue of when you are in perpetual summer, when you're in a hamster wheel of productivity, and you hear kind of those those little voices in your head where you're like, I don't think you should do this, or there's something that needs to change, but you're just in perpetual summer, you're ignoring what's already intuitively happening.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: And then all of a sudden you get to what you just shared, stress and burnout, which is why it's important for those times of like fall and winter to pause.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: And like, okay, what are those difficult questions?
12:21
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that difficult question is do I really love what I'm doing?
12:26
SPEAKER_01: Do I love doing it this way?
12:28
SPEAKER_01: And maybe that was for a certain year for a certain period in my life, but something needs to change and shift.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: The pausing is actually the hard part because you have to actually reflect.
12:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: Reflection is, I think, for instance, working with you, pausing in the internalized level.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: So if I think about my life and seasons, and someone else in the retreat said this, which I absolutely loved, was we also have micro ecosystems of seasons within ourselves.
12:57
SPEAKER_02: So the deep part of who we are for me in working with you was like, sure, I can pause.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: But then what that really meant is like every part of myself reflecting deeply, taking the time to to do that, was in itself the pause that I needed to like find breath, find space, find room to really see all these other pieces that I just kind of ignore because we live in a fast-paced, you know, system of productivity.
13:30
SPEAKER_02: And it's scary to pause because you don't know what you're gonna see when everything settles.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: And it's scary to pause because we live in a society because of like with capitalism, you know, doing the things that pause and rest hasn't been unfortunately rewarded.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: But when we don't, it shows up in our body.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: I I know sharing with you, and I've shared it in podcasts, when I was feeling unaligned to my business and I kept doing the same things I used to do, that did feel good at one point.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: My body had like a visceral reaction.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: Like, no.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Like what things that used to come so easily for me, my body was literally kind of shutting down to not want to do it.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: It was hard.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: It was a struggle.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: And I realized, oh, I have to go rest.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: I need to heal.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: I need to see what is happening.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: In short, absolutely.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: I think that attunement and listening, and also what I'm hearing is the deprogramming or shedding of things that I think we have, I have successfully been successful at.
14:37
SPEAKER_02: Like not looking at emotions when I was younger, just focusing on outcomes, trying to perform other people's expectations of productivity that were along the lines of race, gender, and age, and some of those things that were just never who I was.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: And once you let go of it, it be it like we have to manage risk.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: And some plants do that all the time.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: Like they manage risk, animals manage risk about how they're gonna make it through the next season.
15:06
SPEAKER_02: But it's always in a gradual way, it's never in a step of overnight.
15:14
SPEAKER_02: When changes in nature happen instantly, they're called mutations.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: They have because they're lit.
15:25
SPEAKER_02: And maybe at that time that mutation in nature was in response to something, or it was a miscommunication of something else that was happening in the organism, but they don't really survive.
15:37
SPEAKER_02: Change in order for sustainable sustainable growth, and if we think about it in nature, like the ability to generate other versions, so like reproducing change needs to happen gradually.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: Otherwise, it just doesn't stay.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: It won't it won't make it past a year or it won't make it past that iteration of itself.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: So I think we get stuck in this, like I need to do it now, I need to do it this way, and I need to do it.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: It's either me or no one else that gets to do this change.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: And that's I think that's also a trap that entrepreneurship kind of makes us consume.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:17
SPEAKER_01: What tips or advice would you have for folks when it comes to honoring rest without the guilt?
16:24
SPEAKER_01: That's a hard part.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: So I think rest is needed and it's important and it has a role.
16:34
SPEAKER_02: And it it it's also a skill.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: It's a skill to learn.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Just like allyship encompasses behaviors, strategies, personal beliefs, histories, generations.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: So does rest.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: Rest is something that we inherit at a value, it's an ideology.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: But we don't we don't have a lot of skill to understand what feels good in my body.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: And so my first recommendation for a lot of folks in our space is rest can look like rest.
17:05
SPEAKER_02: And this is something that is universal across yoga, meditation, all sorts of religions that and theologies that are tied to nature.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: Rest looks like breath.
17:18
SPEAKER_02: So when oppression happens, it happens in when con difficult conversations, we are activated and to think that it can, it's a moment that it's leading.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: We can never go back.
17:31
SPEAKER_02: Breath is our one magical pause button in conversation or with self to like understand and bring stillness.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: So that would be my number one, and it's very undervalued in conversations around anti-racism or anti-oppression work.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: I want to add to that.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: And others, but that's the first one I would say.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, on that first note, I want to add to that because I was just talking to a client and working with two business partners, and she was sharing, how can I make sure I don't come in hot and heated and loaded?
18:03
SPEAKER_01: You know, what do I need to do?
18:05
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I know this is gonna sound simple, but breathe.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: And we did three, five second exercises to breathe in and breathe out.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: I had her close her eyes, and then and then I told her when you were when you're ready, open your eyes, how do you feel?
18:20
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, Oh my god, I felt good.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, You probably thought that was easy, but let me share biologically why I need to do it.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: When as mammals, as human beings, when there is a scare we're being attacked, our body will naturally heighten up.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: So the blood is moving very, very quickly, so is your heart pacing.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: So to calm your nervous system down, you have to take a deep breath so the blood could flow through your whole body.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: So then you're not acting reactive.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: And when you're in that triggering moment, being mindful because of breath, that you don't have to react right away.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: Like when I get into an argument with my own partner, and I could feel myself heated and I will breathe.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: I tell him, I can't continue talking about this.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: I need time.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Oldie Rain, and I feel so bad for my ex-partners.
19:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I would just say whatever came out of my voice.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Right.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: There, and there are moments where that I think rest also takes into account what our bodies have experienced generationally.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: Some of the things that are so deep we don't even know.
19:31
SPEAKER_02: We're not like aware of it.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: And some of them are new experiences within our own lifespan that we've we've been taught.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: But you're yeah, absolutely right.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: Like your body in stress is either in fight or flight.
19:46
SPEAKER_02: When we're talking about entrepreneurship, power dynamics, allyship, we're also talking about like appeasement strategies or fawning strategies.
19:56
SPEAKER_02: And that's when we lower ourselves in order, because we recognize a power dynamic.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: And my dog is in the background.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: Dogs do this all the time.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: When they see a bigger animal and another dog, they like make themselves really small.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: And that's because we want to survive.
20:12
SPEAKER_02: We want to make, we make, we don't understand the threat yet.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: So when we can rest and being tuned to our body, we don't have to give up parts of ourselves to be seen.
20:23
SPEAKER_02: There's balance when we can like take a breath and and figure, figure it out that it's gonna be okay.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: You're most likely gonna survive the situation.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: So breath was a good tip.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: Any other tips you want to share?
20:38
SPEAKER_01: I already said you have a couple for rest.
20:42
SPEAKER_02: My favorite thing to do is maybe it's not restful for some folks, but my favorite thing to do is is to do activities that include my body with with some sort of act.
20:55
SPEAKER_02: So I do a lot of pottery.
20:57
SPEAKER_02: I journal.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Journaling is one with pen and paper.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Anything that you that can physically move energy outside of your mouth and brain moving, anything that incorporates your body, your hands, creativity is also really good.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: I think because we are in an internal center of capitalism, of consumerism, of exploitation, we're also severed from our own relationship to our body.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: And that's what makes rest sometimes difficult to be attuned to is understand what feels good.
21:31
SPEAKER_02: I have found that creating things in my hands are really good because I don't have to be present.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: I don't have to like think about theories or judge myself.
21:41
SPEAKER_02: My body is doing my attention is somewhere else, and that tends to be very cathartic and therapeutic for me.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: And I I rest, I rest in other ways.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: I think we have an image that rests on a beach chair or in bed or in a shower, and all of those are valid.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: But part of going through a journey of transformation is also just understanding that there's different colors and tones and feelings that are all under your umbrella.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: I like being a potato, for instance.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: I appreciate you sharing how unfortunately in capitalism we've learned to disassociate ourselves to how we truly feel or honoring our bodies.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: So there was another podcast episode recording I did with my trauma-informed mentor, and she was sharing how at a young age we had to ask permission to go use the restroom.
22:38
SPEAKER_01: When in reality, we should be able to go use the restroom.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: We know our bodies more than any human, even if it is an adult.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not saying you go give yourself your own surgery, but you know, in your body, when you need to do something, like take an action, like going use a restroom, or even in your body.
23:00
SPEAKER_01: If I know a lot of the work you do with anti-oppression, is that statement that person said that did not feel safe.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Or, ooh, I don't think I said that in a safe way.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, a lot of things come to mind and hearing you share that.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's even in our Zoom conversations, right?
23:21
SPEAKER_02: We're like, yes, we're in our house, so we sometimes I take calls.
23:26
SPEAKER_02: I've taken like team calls in bed, and it felt great.
23:29
SPEAKER_02: I can do that because I'm creating an alternative and radical work environment, but I still show up and facilitate in a very constructive way.
23:38
SPEAKER_02: And so anything that you can do to like wiggle your body, take a breath, there's really great ways to rewire our brain by looking across a different angle with our eyes.
23:52
SPEAKER_02: Anything that that could help like is small acts that eventually reconnect you to your body with agency, with trust to know what feels good, to move with what you know is right.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: So you get to have a new relationship or a profound relationship with yourself.
24:13
SPEAKER_02: And I I think that's why I'm so drawn to personal transformation work, is because or life maybe is because I get to see, I get to experience so many different things of getting to know myself better, and that journey I get to share with myself intimately.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: And I love that you're so observant of what happens in nature and coming from a place of curiosity of like, wait, how can I translate that into my own life?
24:40
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm seeing your dog in the background chilling, and I do I do want to share the importance of being in our bodies because I don't know if you could tell, but I'm kind of towed up looking right now because I didn't really do my hair because I chose doing yoga right before this.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: I felt very rushed, but I really needed to do yoga to be back in my body, and I'm so glad I chose that to do that before this.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: You mentioned earlier a conversation with your partner where you stated a boundary or a need, like I need to take a breath, or I need to do yoga before.
25:18
SPEAKER_02: I chose to be on the floor.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: But there's there we've talked about like the need for breath and stillness and reflection and pausing.
25:28
SPEAKER_02: We're and we're now getting to a point of agency and communicating what we need.
25:33
SPEAKER_02: And at work, that feels unsafe for me at in my other organizations that has felt unsafe because of my identities, but also if if I'm not in playing in or investing in this perpetual summer myth, then my job is at risk, or I can't I'll be seen differently.
25:56
SPEAKER_02: And so there's within risk, we also have to confront like internalized beliefs of judgment or guilt or shame when we get to say, actually, what I need to be present for you or this relationship for this work is X, Y, and Z.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: And I think I my experience as a woman of color is that people think that that's rude or think that I'm being selfish, or think that I'm being self-centered.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's just kind of the same as selfish, but it's liberating when you give yourself permission to say it and not give an F about what that other person may like to let go of the control of others in our own minds is is huge.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: And there's things you could do in terms of habits and routines when it comes to rest.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: And I know the next podcast episode I'm dropping after this talks about acknowledging there's thing there may be things out of your control, like controlling the work environment you're in that is systemic to capitalism.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm very grateful.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: I just had dinner with her.
27:04
SPEAKER_01: My former boss, my ex-boss, Bobby Abram, who's the executive director for the Patsy City College Foundation, an incredible ally as well.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: She honored the whole staff.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: Like I had one colleague who had really bad periods.
27:20
SPEAKER_01: Like the first day, it's just she couldn't work.
27:23
SPEAKER_01: So she would stay at home.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: She's like, you don't have to be here.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: Be at home.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: Or another colleague where there was a kid that just needed more attention.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: So she would do some work there at home and not have to go into the office.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: One day I was sick and I was like thinking perpetual summer, I need to work on it.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, no, Elaine, you're going home.
27:43
SPEAKER_01: And I'm sharing that because you can find in work environments if you are working full-time where you are safe.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: And those are important questions to even ask of the flexibility.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: Like, I have also for those that are entrepreneurs, I have mothers who their goals are I want to be able to walk my child to school and walk them back.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: That's the business I want.
28:07
SPEAKER_02: It's so potent, potent, like it's so powerful to I think allow like give yourself permission to rest.
28:15
SPEAKER_02: And in that, like you're envisioning and dreaming a different reality, even if it's not a capital R huge thing.
28:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, if you can give yourself a moment to rest, a moment to reflect, a moment to pause, like you are building something differently in that moment.
28:31
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's really exciting to do, whether you launch that into a business or you launch that into your relationships or your relationship with yourself.
28:39
SPEAKER_02: Like, I think that's what's also so hard about an internal summer is that it's fixed on immediate things because it starts to consume itself.
28:50
SPEAKER_02: And so internal summers aren't thinking long term very much because they're focused on this season only.
28:58
SPEAKER_02: If we were looking at a more holistic term of rest, rejuvenation, creation, expansion, then everything is interconnected.
29:08
SPEAKER_02: If I can do this today for myself, I know later I can harvest it as a lesson.
29:13
SPEAKER_02: If I can if I can get to rest in this way, then I can get to the ideas that I'm so excited to generate and or germinate.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: If I get to those ideas, then I can get to experimenting with them and launching them live.
29:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think that longer term hope is I think quickly sucked away in my like a capitalist sense.
29:38
SPEAKER_02: And it's it's intentional.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: It's intentional.
29:40
SPEAKER_02: It's absolutely designed that way.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: I joke around whenever I do presentations when people are going through a hard time in their life.
29:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, how many of you are grateful for your exes?
29:54
SPEAKER_01: Everyone raises their hand.
29:56
SPEAKER_01: I see you raising your hand.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I raise my hand immediately.
29:59
SPEAKER_01: And I'm grateful for it for them because I learned so much of what I needed to work on, what I needed to heal on.
30:07
SPEAKER_01: So I could be in this partnership partnership I have now with my boyfriend.
30:12
SPEAKER_01: And if it wasn't, and sure, you know, those breakups are hard.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: You cry, especially when you're a teenager with those raging hormones.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: That you reflect, do whatever healing you need to do.
30:22
SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, it's healthy healing, like going to see a therapist.
30:26
SPEAKER_01: And you learn and grow through your seasons.
30:28
SPEAKER_01: And if we don't learn and grow, nature has its course of sh showing you the same mistakes with a different name.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:36
unknown: Yeah.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: One thing I got really excited about, and part of all this conversation is exciting because there are lessons right outside within our grasp, within our reach.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: If we can truly take a moment to to like pause and see it, we can start to hear all of these different ways that the world communicates with itself.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: And one thing that you mentioned, or we were talking about, is like looking back at the people who have shaped us in who we are, good or bad.
31:09
SPEAKER_02: They were part of our journey in some way.
31:11
SPEAKER_02: And I think if you can create an almanac or a history of your previous season, then you can start to understand what needs to change.
31:22
SPEAKER_02: So in this metaphor of seasons and harvesting and farming, we use almanac currently to predict some weather changes, even though things are very sad right now for the environment, to say the least.
31:34
SPEAKER_02: But I think it could be a really cool exercise to see previous versions of yourself as an almanac, not necessarily to predict, but to remember you know where you've been and where you might go.
31:49
SPEAKER_02: So there are patterns that we have.
31:52
SPEAKER_02: There's also great opportunity to just be very experimental and change those patterns or break the cycle.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: Or sometimes it's even honoring the patterns.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: I know we're talking at it in a place of maybe healing, but I also share with my clients for those that have businesses.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: If you've been in it for a couple of years, what's really fun is you start looking at numbers and seeing, okay, when are my best months?
32:18
SPEAKER_01: When are my months where it's not so great?
32:20
SPEAKER_01: And why don't you honor the months where it's not so great where maybe take a month or two off?
32:25
SPEAKER_01: Because you realize it's not even generating much revenue as it does the other months.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: But it's honoring it, not forcing it.
32:33
SPEAKER_02: There's a really great, I think she's a, I don't know how she would describe herself, but on Instagram, at least I know her.
32:39
SPEAKER_02: She's, I think, a yoga instructor, an illustrator, but she's called Mosaic Eye, and she has these wonderful images of a lot of what we're talking about, and she uses nature as well.
32:49
SPEAKER_02: But you mentioned like honoring versus forcing it, and she talks about holding something versus grasping it.
32:57
SPEAKER_02: But when we hold sand in our hand, we can really sit with it, we can figure out the weight, what all is in the palm of our hand, and we can observe it, we can appreciate it, we can honor it, versus when we're trying to grasp it, which is when we are forcing something, maybe going in towards a mutation that needs to happen, which may be a part of like self-judgment.
33:19
SPEAKER_02: But when we grasp something really tightly, we we obscure it and can't see it, and then the sand falls through the fingers.
33:27
SPEAKER_02: And I think for my work in White Allies, like we have to hold something, hold feedback, hold accountability, hold rest, hold breath, instead of trying to hold and control something a little bigger than ourselves, and then we end up losing sight of what's happening or what needs to take place, which is when we force it or trying to get it right to be perfect.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's so much power in what you're sharing with the sad.
33:54
SPEAKER_01: It can't it kind of makes me want to do that for the next retreat in April and have everybody go straight.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: But another example, yeah.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: One of my mentors shared this is think about gestation, how long it takes to make a baby in your womb.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: And that's nine months.
34:12
SPEAKER_01: If it's way too early, there's a process, can't rush it.
34:17
SPEAKER_01: Yes, you're cited vendor.
34:19
SPEAKER_01: What do you want to share?
34:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like another idea.
34:22
SPEAKER_02: So it's not even an idea, but if we look at gardening, asparagus takes three years for us to finally get the edible vegetable that we have.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: It takes three years for the plant to expand its roots, settle in the soil, go through essentially three cycles, three seasons, two, three seasons, to finally like zombie hands just come out of the soil.
34:46
SPEAKER_02: So something you're talking about germination or sorry, like basation developed or gestation.
34:53
SPEAKER_02: This there's another one that we can look at that is longer for something so delicious, like an asparagus.
35:03
SPEAKER_02: And some of those things take time.
35:05
SPEAKER_02: And the part of asparagus, a lesson here, is that sometimes we need deep, deep emergency winters of hibernation and long-term growth before we can see what's going to happen.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: But a lot of things are happening underground, and those things are valuable, those things that are hidden or not seen are equally as beautiful as the things that eventually make it above ground for us to begin to take care of and nurture and then harvest and consume in this metaphor of the sparagon.
35:35
SPEAKER_02: But I think that is really important to the name as well.
35:39
SPEAKER_01: And I want to acknowledge and honor, I do know I'm not, we're not saying that you we need to overturn capitalism and create this crazy riot.
35:49
SPEAKER_01: But what are small things you could do just even for yourself in honoring this?
35:56
SPEAKER_01: And I know we use Amazon, things come here in two days, but just like the examples that Brenda was sharing with asparagus, the roots, with a baby, how long it takes for them until they're finally here on the other side of the world, that the most beautiful things in life take time.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: And it's not the quick, easy fix.
36:24
SPEAKER_01: It's how do you create something sustainably, honoring its seasons?
36:29
SPEAKER_01: So, Brenda, I am sure everybody listening has fallen in love with you and all the plant metaphors and nature metaphors.
36:38
SPEAKER_01: How can people find you?
36:40
SPEAKER_01: Tell us about more of the work you do with allies.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
36:45
SPEAKER_02: So I it's been a joy to be here.
36:47
SPEAKER_02: I love geeking out over the things that are just within our reach that can just like make us see different parts of ourselves.
36:57
SPEAKER_02: So thank you for having me here.
36:59
SPEAKER_02: And this is a little bit of the ways that we help people connect the dots between what gets severed in our systems of oppression, how we can begin to reconnect and seek alignment and form relationships, not only to people to be allies, but with self in order to heal those wounds.
37:19
SPEAKER_02: And so we do a lot of transformative spaces through training, and we bring some of these same strategies to institutions because we can start to look at institutions as ecosystems as well, where memory isn't kept all the time because people get fired or dismissed or turnover happens.
37:37
SPEAKER_02: But at Invisible Paradigm, we do small group sessions and training through our anti-oppression cohorts, and we do consulting for emerging or stagnant feeling organizations with their DEI initiatives.
37:51
SPEAKER_02: You can find us at www.invisibleparadigms.com or social media at in period visibleparadigm.com.
38:04
SPEAKER_02: I mean not.com.
38:06
SPEAKER_01: And I will put Brenda's Instagram as well as website on the show notes.
38:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Brenda, I always love ending episodes with they could be one of the same, but what is one reflective question, one action item people could take?
38:22
SPEAKER_02: Every season has a purpose.
38:25
SPEAKER_02: And even when we look at seasons, they're not fixed by time, but by the process of transformation.
38:32
SPEAKER_02: So deep winters need to happen for six months to two years.
38:36
SPEAKER_02: If that's the case, that's okay.
38:38
SPEAKER_02: Whereas springs can be very short or expansive as well.
38:42
SPEAKER_02: Every season has a purpose.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: Be okay with however long your season needs to be, but don't get comfortable in it too long.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: And a takeaway is find the moments that you can to just reconnect with yourself and trust that those are moments that you're giving yourself and you're gonna build on them every day, week by week, month to month, year to year.
39:06
SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't have to be associated with work.
39:09
SPEAKER_01: I think so often we think a hab, like a hobby, needs to be associated with the work.
39:13
SPEAKER_01: But I've been saying how I want to go play violin again.
39:16
SPEAKER_01: Not because I plan to have an album and drop it, but I just want to play it again.
39:22
SPEAKER_01: And Brenda, you've worked well, I mean, you are a client.
39:27
SPEAKER_01: I would love for you to share your experience working with me for those that might be interested.
39:33
SPEAKER_01: So feel free to be direct and mean.
39:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm kidding.
39:38
SPEAKER_02: Here we go.
39:39
SPEAKER_02: No, I I met Elaine through Instagram, and I have really enjoyed thoroughly every conversation I've had with you.
39:51
SPEAKER_02: The lesson that you've given me and the lesson that you've allowed me to take for myself that I knew was somewhere on that table of all of the things I needed to do as an entrepreneur.
40:01
SPEAKER_02: You you've given me the lesson of and permission to give myself permission, if that makes sense.
40:08
SPEAKER_02: You're giving me a space to say, you grab that if you need to.
40:12
SPEAKER_02: And what I always need support in grabbing for myself is things that give me rest, joy, confidence, assurance.
40:21
SPEAKER_02: And I think that has been invaluable to to me.
40:25
SPEAKER_02: And it's been great, and I really appreciate that.
40:27
SPEAKER_01: And I would share too much details, but even before we hit record, we were sharing about something Brenda let go of.
40:35
SPEAKER_01: And as soon as that thing was let go of, opportunities are coming.
40:40
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: I didn't believe that.
40:43
SPEAKER_02: I didn't believe that that would happen because I've listened to some of your podcast episodes, and I tried to learn so much about what you were doing with whatever you could give me before becoming climate client and during as an active client.
40:58
SPEAKER_02: And everyone that I met or through your podcast or videos were saying these really amazing things of it, yeah, don't believe in until it happens, or you just have to trust in the process.
41:09
SPEAKER_02: And like, okay, I've heard that before.
41:11
SPEAKER_02: But here I am, and it's so true.
41:13
SPEAKER_02: If you can let go of something, you trust it unfolding that something else will come along.
41:20
SPEAKER_02: You're giving that place the attention that it needs, and sometimes that is letting things go.
41:25
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, cool things are coming and exciting to Invisible Paradigms, but also myself personally.
41:32
SPEAKER_01: I know.
41:33
SPEAKER_01: Brenda was like having a hard time and something, and then what the hell?
41:36
SPEAKER_01: How is this all coming?
41:38
SPEAKER_01: And it's like because you're holding in stagnant energy, just like leaves.
41:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the beautiful leaves had to go to make space for the snow to come in and beautiful spring.
41:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited for you, Brenda.
41:51
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: Go on her website, fill out her form to work with her.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: Brenda, thank you so much for the work you do for our world.
42:00
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Elaine.
42:02
SPEAKER_01: Appreciate you.
42:03
SPEAKER_01: Appreciate you.
42:06
SPEAKER_01: If you are in a season of realignment and need support, I would love to work with you.
42:12
SPEAKER_01: So to see if it's a good fit, schedule a complimentary 30-minute legacy business and career review call where we will one, identify your personal and professional goals aligned to you that you want to create.
42:27
SPEAKER_01: Two, if you're in business, review your current pricing and packages and see what needs to be edited to fit your dream lifestyle.
42:36
SPEAKER_01: Or if you're in a career, review your current leadership goals and challenges.
42:42
SPEAKER_01: And third, receive three individualized action items.
42:46
SPEAKER_01: So to schedule this complementary 30-minute legacy business and review call, go to elanelew.com forward slash call.
42:55
SPEAKER_01: That's elanelew.com forward slash call.
43:01
SPEAKER_01: Legacymaker, if you love this color dreams episode, we would love it if you can leave a reading and review on Apple.
43:11
SPEAKER_01: So more women of color and allies can benefit too.
43:16
SPEAKER_01: And if you have one or two friends that would get so much from this particular episode, please share.
43:23
SPEAKER_01: The intention behind the Color Your Dreams podcast was to contribute and give back to our people.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: All right.