Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / January 30, 2019 | Men Of Success - Winter 2019: Primary Greatness - Session 3

Transcript

January 30, 2019 | Men Of Success - Winter 2019: Primary Greatness - Session 3 · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

0:00
SPEAKER_01: How you guys doing?
0:04
SPEAKER_01: Hey, keep eating, no problem.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: Plus, I don't know if you heard the blueberry muffins just got out there.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: Are they blueberry?
0:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think so.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: So Sam and Wes just got back from the ski slopes.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: And Wes, I hear that it was your first time ever skiing, and you were up to blacks on the second day.
0:22
SPEAKER_01: Am I right?
0:23
unknown: Yes, sir.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: You are such a study.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: So uh big news is uh Super Bowl this uh weekend, Super Bowl 53 with Mahomes versus Priest.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: So sure looking forward to that, you know.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: Can hardly wait for the greatest Super Bowl of all time there.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: Isn't that unbelievable?
0:46
SPEAKER_01: I know a lot of people aren't gonna watch it because uh because of how new it gets stolen from New Orleans or because they don't want to watch New England.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: Um sorry about that, Don.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: Okay, Don, we'll put this up here for you, Mr.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: New England Patriot, who who always thinks he's making us feel good by telling us that he can he doesn't mind whether Kansas City wins.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: It's you know, whoever.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: So Hawks played last night, lost, lost their second in a row.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: And uh You know, it's been a tough week, tough like almost two weeks for Kansas City Sports.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's right.
1:24
SPEAKER_01: It's been awful.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: T-State laid an egg on Saturday.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what was that about?
1:31
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: It's so frustrating to watch.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: We win five in a row versus ranked teams, and then we come back and a team with a losing record.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you couldn't they couldn't hit a shot.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: That was the most frustrating game I've ever watched on TV.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: I didn't watch last night's game, but I heard it was pretty bad.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was.
1:51
SPEAKER_01: So now the Hawks have got to play Texas Tech at home, and then they're gonna go to K-State and lose, I think, next Tuesday.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: Who do you think is gonna win the Big 12 this year?
2:04
SPEAKER_01: All right, if K-State beats uh KU, I think K-State will.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: I really do.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if they play like they should, if they got that loss out of the system, I think they're the best team.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: So we'll see.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: That would be awesome.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: Okay, we're in a book called Primary Greatness, guys.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: And uh if anybody's new uh today, you know, come up to me afterwards, I'll get you on our mailing list and I'll I'll send you a link to the summary of this book.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: We have one more week in this book after this morning, next week.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: There are these 12 levers of greatness, and we're in the middle four uh today.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: Uh let me summarize for us, uh Rodney.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: Primary versus secondary greatness, primary greatness on the inside.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: That's what Stephen Cuffy says, and he's a secondary greatness, fame, wealth recognition is on the outside.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: And you can read this next one, Rodney.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so he he introduces the book with this his argument that many people confuse success with secondary greatness, but it is a successful life is about primary greatness, a life of duty, honor, integrity, perseverance, self-sacrifice, and service, regardless of material rewards that we may get from primary greatness.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: You're more focused internally.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it kind of backs up this biblical verse in 1 Samuel 16.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: It says that man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's, you know, I look at my life, and it's so true that I when I judge somebody else, I'm all I'm often looking at um uh what they have to determine if they're a successful person, not ever looking at who they actually are as a person.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: So let's walk through uh so the first one we did was integrity, the lever of integrity, uh sort of prying away the tendency that we have to live by appearance, you know, what's on the surface to you know show.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: And where there's an integrity challenge, choose one area in your life in which you could show integrity, more integrity, then do it.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Second lever was the lever of contribution.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: People tend to live the easy life, especially uh 18 to 22 year olds.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: And so we got to pry that up.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: And the challenge is what legacy, no matter what age you are, what legacy do you want to leave in your personal and professional life?
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Get to it.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: Third, the lever of priority, so that we focus on the most important things rather than the fatal distractions.
4:36
SPEAKER_01: The challenge is put first things first, what's your burning priority?
4:40
SPEAKER_01: What do you need to say no to in order to realize it?
4:44
SPEAKER_01: Do it.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh we actually stopped uh uh because of time before we hit the lever of sacrifice last time, so let me whip through that because it goes along with the fifth one, which is service.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: So sacrifice is the lever that gets rid of hidden agenda, personal agendas.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: And what he means by that is similar to what Karim Abdul Jabbar uh once said a team will always appreciate a great individual if he's willing to sacrifice for the group.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: And as you know, there are some famous stories about how he played for the Lakers, where there are some other Lakers who I won't mention who weren't willing to sacrifice for the group, one of whom famously uh refused to play the last eight seconds of a game one time because uh coach didn't didn't say that he could take the final shot.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: So um in the book, Covey quotes Martin Luther King Jr., who's who put it this way, quoting from the Bible the first question asked by the priest and the Levite was if I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?
5:46
SPEAKER_01: But the Good Samaritan reversed the question if I don't stop to help this man, what will happen to him?
5:52
SPEAKER_01: That's the lever of sacrifice, and primary greatness depends on the principle that we're better together than alone.
5:58
SPEAKER_01: This requires we sacrifice our pride or ambition to serve the good of the whole.
6:02
SPEAKER_01: And here's the challenge in what way is your personal ego or ambition a barrier to team progress at your home or work?
6:10
SPEAKER_01: Resolved to take down that barrier.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: And let me slide right into uh the service lever, which gets rid of the selfishness.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: You can see the similarity here.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: And uh I think he mentions Rich Carlton.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: Some of you were at uh the leadership uh thing in August over at First Assembly of God, that thing that comes out of Chicago, you know, the Heibelsteel.
6:35
SPEAKER_01: They had the CEO of Rich Carlton, whose you know, customer service is their big deal.
6:40
SPEAKER_01: Their motto is we are ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen, and he's given every single employee, no matter how low, at Rich Carlton, a$2,000 allowance that at any time they can spend up to$2,000 to serve a uh one of the patrons at the hotel if they have a need.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: And uh I remember him telling some amazing stories about how, you know, somebody at the Rich Carlton would complain going downstairs that their TV didn't work.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, a maid or somebody else, or even an assistant cook or something, would go up, look at it, find out that it's gonna take a couple days to fix the TV, and just went across the street and bought a$2,000 TV and went in and installed it while they were at breakfast.
7:25
SPEAKER_01: So um just a just incredible.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: So this whole service deal is uh he quotes Mother Teresa saying, at the end of life, we're not gonna be judged by how many diplomas we've received, money, money made, great things done.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: We'll be judged by I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me, I was homeless and you took me in.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: Now, the interesting thing, Rodney, is you know, in this chapter, he focuses a lot on learning people's names and remembering them.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: Which I don't know about you guys, but I hate it when people talk like that.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: Because it's harder for me to remember names, you know, than it ever was.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: And yet, yeah, Pat, you've got to do it too in your line of work.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: But you know you have to do it.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: And so if your mind doesn't grab hold the way it used to, I mean, I've I've got a file, I have pictures of people, I have, I look over that file regularly and pray for them so that I can remember who they are.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: You just have to work harder at it.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: Covey says I was teaching at a university.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: This is early in his career.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: He said a student approached me at the end of the course to thank me, and he said, I respect you so much, everything you've done.
8:33
SPEAKER_01: I admire you, Mr.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: Covey, but you don't even know my name.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: He said it was like a stab in the gut.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: So the service challenge is work harder at learning guys' names that you know, even if you have hundreds and hundreds of people.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Speaking to you, Skoda, you got like a thousand people whose names you gotta learn out there at the base.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: Am I right?
8:54
SPEAKER_01: But then he says, bump up your service level today to your wife, to a co-worker, to the secretary.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: Value them, listen to them, do random acts of kindness.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: It's a good challenge, isn't it?
9:05
SPEAKER_01: Hey, would you take the next lever of responsibility?
9:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so this next level of responsibility, what it lifts out in our lives is this um uh oftentimes uh this uh attitude of victimism.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: And I what I want to do is I want to read kind of the first paragraph because I think the first paragraph is so important um to introduce this idea of responsibility.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: You guys covered this in the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, uh, but he kind of takes a different take at it in this book.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: He does.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: Um so I'm just gonna read this first paragraph.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: He says, taking responsibility is essential to primary greatness.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: It's easy to take responsibility for the good things in our life, but the real test comes when things aren't going well.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: Those who struggle off responsibilities for their lives, blaming circumstances or other people for their situation, become professional victims.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: And I think we all know people like this in our lives.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: They look at life and their circumstances, they blame everything else except for themselves.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh those who practice primary greatness know that the quality of life depends on their own choices, not on the choices of others or even the circumstances.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's so true that the we are who we are today, the men in this room sitting down because of the choices that we made in life.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: And we can't blame anybody else.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: We can't shift those that responsibility that we all have a responsibility for the choices that we make.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: And then there's this quote by Ann Frank that she says the final forming of a person's character lies within their own hands.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: And so what he does is he takes this lever of responsibility and says, yes, this is true about your life, but it's also true about uh something in relationships that you have.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: He says you have to take responsibility.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: The most important thing about our lives is relationships.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: And oftentimes when things go south relationally, it's a lot easier for us to not take responsibility for it.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: And so he emphasizes six points when he teaches this uh responsibility, uh this lever of responsibility in relationships.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Um and and before that he says, he says, listen, most times when things go south in a relationship, uh whether you realize it or not, you go into somebody's mental prison.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: And he introduces the this this saying that says, You have to you have to pay the othermost farthing.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: Does anybody know what a farthing is?
11:29
SPEAKER_00: No?
11:29
SPEAKER_00: A little bit of money.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: What it is, is this old tiny English coin which is worth a quarter of a penny.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: He says, when you do wrong by somebody, they'll they don't let you out until you pay the last of that fourth of a penny.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: And then you're released.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: So what does that require from us?
11:46
SPEAKER_00: Take responsibility and relationships.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: And he says these six things.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: It says, when I teach this, he says, these six things you have to realize.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: And the first thing, the first one is this is that you have to honestly admit inside to yourself that you've done something wrong.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: He says, if you if you fail to do this, you lose what he calls your moral authority.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: Uh I like to think of your moral authority as your influence as a leader.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: If you lose your influence as a man, as a leader, you lose everything.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh to put it a little bit more practically, I think about the uh, we all saw the Rams uh Saints game.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: And I just imagine what the outcry would have been if the refs just never would have came out and said we were wrong.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh I you know, I think about 1,200 people would have watched the Super Bowl this weekend uh because of the fact when people don't own up to when they when they've done something wrong, it's like I don't I I don't want anything to do with them.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: So the first step is to look and say, you have to admit that you're you're part of the problem.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: Second thing he he says you have to realize is that when you when you've done something wrong, you have to realize you're you're in their mental prison.
12:55
SPEAKER_00: You you're not gonna be released uh until you you do something about it.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: He says the third point he says you cannot behave your way out of what you've done to that person.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: Like if I if I uh very aggressively attack my wife, 15 minutes later I can't come back in the room and kind of sweet talk her and kiss her on the cheek and this, that, and the other.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Because she's gonna look at me and go, that's strange.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: And the same thing is with any relationships.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: If I do something wrong by you and I come back to you a day later and act like nothing happened, um that just causes suspicion in your eyes.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: So he goes, he goes to point number four and he says, you have to go to them and honestly, you have to admit you're wrong, you have to ask for forgiveness.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: Fifthly, you have to be utterly sincere.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: Like it can't be some PR stunt, can't be a Kareem Hunt of I was, I was, you know, my mom didn't raise me this way, this is not who I am.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: It has to be a sincerity to what you're saying, can't be a manipulation tactic to try to get what you want.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: He says, this is what happens when you do that.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: Sixthly, he says, when you when you do those five things, what it does is it produces an opportunity for you to have influence in them, in that person again.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: And also what it does is it it creates an environment where that is welcomed and it encourages them to look introspectively and go, was I part of the problem as well?
14:15
SPEAKER_00: Could I have done something differently?
14:17
SPEAKER_00: Um and it just it it produces, you know, I think it changes the culture, it changes the environment of that relationship.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: And just to give an example, uh short example, this weekend I uh kind of got on my three-year-old for something, I raised my voice at her.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: No, I probably shouldn't have done that.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: Read any good parenting book, they tell you not to do that.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: Um and I had to go to her about 10 minutes later and I go, hey, Annalise, I'm so sorry for raising my voice at you.
14:43
SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't have done that.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: Um I go, Will you forgive me?
14:47
SPEAKER_00: And you could assume the change in her face and her attitude towards me was one of just kind of when I came up to talk to her, she was just like this.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: So when I said I'm sorry, she kind of lit up.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: I think it's true whether it's a three-year-old, a 33-year-old, or a 43-year-old.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: When you go and have that kind of attitude towards another person, it changes everything.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: And so this lever of responsibility in relationships, you have to do those, you have to do those six things.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: You have to admit that you're wrong.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: And so this responsibility challenge, um, you know, analyze your life.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like a victim?
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, what will be the consequences of feeling like a victim over time, especially in relationships?
15:26
SPEAKER_00: If you've done something wrong to somebody and you have this victimism mentality that you won't ever admit that you're wrong, um, you know, what can you do in your life today to rid yourself of this victimism, to start taking steps towards uh taking responsibilities in those relationships that have gone south?
15:46
SPEAKER_01: So that's a number one, two, three, four, five, six.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: Number seven is loyalties versus disloyalty is a real key to success.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: And he actually says then that he believes the ultimate test of primary greatness is to be loyal to people who are, get this, absent.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: He has this huge emphasis on the fact that there's a temptation for us to talk about people who we work with, we hang around, even members of our family, we join in jumping on them when they're not around.
16:15
SPEAKER_01: One of the most important ways, he says, to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present.
16:21
SPEAKER_01: In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present.
16:25
SPEAKER_01: And I think you know exactly what he means.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: I know what he means.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: It's just simply, it's just really easy.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: People will come up to you and uh, you know, they'll talk, they'll talk to you about negatively about someone that you know or someone you work with, or maybe a boss.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: And around that boss, you would never be negative, but but you feel free to chop him down as long as he's absent.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: And he tells, remember a couple stories in this chapter, Rodney, about how when uh someone would come in, he really admired this boss when he was when he was working.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: Somebody came in, or no, maybe he was you know, he came in when he was young.
17:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he came in and he complained about this other guy or something.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: And the boss says, Well, hold it, hold it right there.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: Let's call them in right now so that you can tell them what they're doing wrong.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: And no, that's fine.
17:12
SPEAKER_01: It's not that big a deal.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: No, that's okay.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: And the boss, no, no, no, this is really important.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: I think what you're saying is really valuable.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: They need to hear, let's go, let's go walk down to her office right now.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: So they walk down there and it really worked out well.
17:26
SPEAKER_01: And he realized this is a big lesson for him.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: The loyalty means you always include the other person, you don't talk about anybody behind their back.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: So the challenge is resolve to refuse to talk about people behind their backs.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: Think of someone you need to be loyal to today when they're absent.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
17:44
SPEAKER_01: Reciprocity.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: Reciprocity.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: Uh it what this this principle, living by this principle of reciprocity, gets out of the whiff.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: Anybody know what whiff'em is?
17:57
SPEAKER_00: No.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh whiff'em is the idea, this attitude of what's in it for me.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: Uh he says that people who live by secondary greatness, uh, they want to tip the scales of every interaction uh in their favor.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: They live their life by the model of what's in it for me.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: Go into a conversation, go into interaction.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: You're con you're constantly trying to think about what's in it for me.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: He says, those people who live by principle know that there's no win in life if others don't win, also.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: Um and I think that's really hard in our culture nowadays, because you look at our culture, and it he says this in the book, he says it's so great.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: He says, our culture uh almost pushes this idea of uh you know, satisfy every single appetite and desire that you have, take more than you give, um, you know, uh even at the expense of others, if it's necessary.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: And so he he says, How do we live by this principle of reciprocity?
19:00
SPEAKER_00: Because I see it biblically as well, this idea that um that you know you you are to treat people how you want to be treated.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: And so he um he introduces these six things that you have to do if you want to live a life living by this principle of reciprocity.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: He says, the first thing you have to do is you have to look at yourself.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: He says most of our problems and relationships are caused by uh because of our character.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: There's an issue with our character, but then also there's there's a solution with our character.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: That naturally our relationships with other people flow out of our relationship with us.
19:37
SPEAKER_00: That if I like and I respect myself, I'm more open to give of myself, I'm more open to be sacrificial of myself, because there's this internal harmony that I'm not worried about when I go into relationships, I'm not worried about um what's in it for me because my security doesn't lie externally.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: My security comes from within, so I'm not worried about my social status, I'm not worried about my material possessions, I'm not worried about what I can get from this because I'm secure in myself.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: I live a life of integrity.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: Um and so you have to look at yourself, you have to you have to analyze uh Am I whole?
20:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh how many of you guys have teenagers in the room?
20:20
SPEAKER_00: Some of the most awkward people in the world, right?
20:24
SPEAKER_00: It's because they don't know who they are, and you can tell it by the way that they, you know, how they relate with other people is how how they feel about themselves.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: It's it's hard for them to be confident because they're trying to figure out who they are.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: And that naturally flows out.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: And I think the same thing is true with us as as men, that we naturally um relate to other people how we relate to ourselves.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: And so we have this life of integrity internally.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: What it does is it creates strep number two.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Uh you start to create intimacy in your relationships with other people.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: And how do you do that?
20:55
SPEAKER_00: You create win-win situations.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: That you're always looking out for that other person's best.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: There's no win in life if others don't succeed as well.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: So you're you're more about, hey, how can I how can I help this person?
21:06
SPEAKER_00: It goes to step number three.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: You you start to share knowledge and information.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: And he kind of switches to business here.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, he's talking about customers and suppliers, and and I think it's it's applicable in all situations of life.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: But you start to share information, you start to share knowledge.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, he says step number four, you you start to care about those who are on the front lines.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: You're you're more concerned about all stakeholders.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: You realize that um this idea of reciprocity, uh, you have to treat everybody well.
21:36
SPEAKER_00: That it's not just about the people externally, but it's internal.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: Like I can't just treat you guys well here and then go home and treat my wife and my kids terribly.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's not how it works.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Um and then fifthly, he says you have to choose mercy over measure for measure.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: This idea of eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, that um you know that I would that I need to realize that that you need.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Need grace, love, and mercy just as much as I do.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: Um and that should shape how I treat you.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Um and this idea of reciprocity that if I treat you that way, that that eventually, in some ways, that'll come back to me.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Um and I think biblically you you look at a couple places I look about in Proverbs where it talks about he who refreshes others himself is often refreshed.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Um Jesus talks about doing others how you would want it done to you.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: And then Galatians 6, where he talks about um do not be deceived, God is not mocked.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: A man will reap what he sows.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: And later on in probably verse 9, he says, Let us not become weary of doing good, for at a proper time we will receive our reward.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: And so this this idea of reciprocity is huge in the Bible.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: That we are often, he says that when we sacrifice for others, we're often repaid, but we're often repaid tenfold for how we treat other people.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: And so we have to realize that this we can't be about life and be all about what's in it for me, that the only success in life is if you know others succeed, and in that, in them succeeding, we'll succeed as well.
23:08
SPEAKER_01: So we got a challenge here, reciprocity.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: So what small steps can you take today to improve a key relationship at work or at home?
23:15
SPEAKER_00: Take those steps, record the results.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: So uh out of the five that we've covered today, service, sacrifice, responsibility, loyalty, and reciprocity, three of them, service, sacrifice, and reciprocity, all sort of revolve around being kind and service and doing random acts of kindness and are illustrated, as Dan Skoda and I can tell you very well, by a cat that we met last night over at Matt Vincent's house.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: Elders are having a prayer meeting over at Matt Vincent's house last night.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: So we get our pizza and we go to the living room, and there is a cat, a beautiful cat, a big cat.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: And we got too many elders.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: We need all the room we can get, but this cat says, the sofa is mine.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: It's right in the middle of the sofa, it's sort of lying sideways in on everything.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: And I don't think much about it.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I grew up with cats.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: I understand that dogs, you can say, move and the dog will move.
24:09
SPEAKER_01: Dogs are naturally service-oriented creatures.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: You know, I love dogs.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: They'll get your paper, they'll get your slippers.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: Cats, they take a number and get back to you.
24:18
SPEAKER_01: But uh, so this cat, so I pick up this cat a little bit and it starts making terrible noises, and I move it just over to the side.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna move it down to the floor, but it's clear it's swinging around, and before I can move my hand, it bites me.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: And it's got some fangs on that baby.
24:34
SPEAKER_01: So, and then it sits there right next to me, continually trying to bite me.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's really mad because it had its space, and I moved it.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: I moved it at least three inches so I could sit down in the middle of the couch.
24:45
SPEAKER_01: So all the elders off come in.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: Dan comes in last.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: There's only one place for him.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: His place is right there where the cat is.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, that cat lets him know immediately.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: It's not moving for him.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: He can sit on the floor if he wants.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: So Dan sticks his butt right there in the very edge, lets the let's lets the cat stay there.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: Because he, and if he reaches for it, that cat's looking at him like, you're the devil.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm biting you to death, man.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: So I mean, it was the weirdest.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you did that, Dan.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: You were just on a teeny bit of the couch.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: But that cat's that cat's a perfect illustration of the opposite of service, the opposite of sacrifice, the opposite of reciprocity.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: But he's a good example of what you and I sometimes are like.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: We go to work and we have our space, whether it's at home or at work, and if somebody tries to move us, somebody tries to take the space that we have reserved for ourselves, we are upset and we bite them.
25:40
SPEAKER_01: So that would be our theme for the day.
25:41
SPEAKER_01: Any group discussion starters?
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Uh, you want to read these for us?
25:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so first one, go around the table and share a random act of service or uh or sacrifice that you tried lately that worked out well, or one that you saw and admired.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: Number two, who's it tempting to talk about when they're absent?
26:00
SPEAKER_00: How might you model loyalty when others go off?
26:04
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: All right, guys, thanks for coming on a very, very cold morning.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: Let's uh bow your head with us in a word of prayer.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: Lord, did you bless these guys?
26:13
SPEAKER_01: It's uh, you know, from what we hear, it's below zero chill factor.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: And yet we're letting you know that we care about you, Lord.
26:21
SPEAKER_01: We wanna we wanna be better men, we want to be successful men in Jesus Christ.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the food this morning.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: Bless Tom and the guys for uh for working on it, and uh give us a great day as we uh as we live like Jesus Christ in service and sacrifice, responsibility and loyalty and reciprocity, doing unto others as we'd like them to do under us in Jesus' name.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: Amen.