Latest / Jess Ask / Fixer vs. Helper: Learning the Balance in Relationships | with Desiree Danielle | EP72

Transcript

Fixer vs. Helper: Learning the Balance in Relationships | with Desiree Danielle | EP72 · Jess Ask

0:01
Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl, Jessica and Smith, and you already
0:10
Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
0:14
Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God for another Do you
0:18
Speaker 1: already know what it is?
0:19
Speaker 2: And then you know it's about to get real. To
0:22
Speaker 2: be sure to show your girl the love and like
0:26
Speaker 2: cow Man and subscribe God.
0:27
Speaker 3: For another day. Hey, hey, I know we could be
0:33
Speaker 3: another way.
0:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, h go Charlie, go Charlie, Charlie, Charlie Wilson. Oh hey,
0:47
Speaker 2: oh Charlie Wilson. Charlie go, Charlie, go Charlie, go Charlie,
0:52
Speaker 2: go Charlie. That did you? Yeah, y'all's straight. She don't
1:01
Speaker 2: know who Charlie Wilson. Charlie Wilson. I had to say, hey, girl,
1:06
Speaker 2: gonna get you for that, Uncle Charlie. I know, Uncle Charlie.
1:09
Speaker 2: Hey girl, are you doing? My name is? What is
1:14
Speaker 2: the paw? Senora say? I was wondering if I could
1:20
Speaker 2: take you out. Here is my number. You can call
1:27
Speaker 2: me and don't forget Charlie Charlie. See Charlie, I know,
1:34
Speaker 2: Uncle Charlie. Okay, I'm just trying to figure it out.
1:37
Speaker 2: You guys, welcome to just ask the podcast when we
1:40
Speaker 2: create a safe space for influencers to decompress, half fun
1:44
Speaker 2: and guess what. Just just listen, y'all already know where
1:48
Speaker 2: we're at. We at the link. Listen, y'all like this background,
1:50
Speaker 2: it's like you like it's wall paper. I have never
1:55
Speaker 2: seen this type of wall before. Like it looks like
1:59
Speaker 2: somebody painted on this walk. It does, and so I
2:03
Speaker 2: appreciate this background. You know, these are our sponsors of
2:06
Speaker 2: just As the podcast. We appreciate JD and defund By
2:10
Speaker 2: for allowing us in the space, y'all. If y'all need
2:12
Speaker 2: to record, take pictures, have events, y'all. When I tell
2:16
Speaker 2: you there's levels to this building, take level, like level levels. Okay,
2:21
Speaker 2: rooms on top of room, space on top of space,
2:24
Speaker 2: and so you want to book them today, like for real.
2:27
Speaker 2: So the Lincoln is in the bidio and we're gonna
2:29
Speaker 2: get in to it. Okay, So listen, y'all. It's just
2:32
Speaker 2: me and deserated week. I heard y'all like it like
2:34
Speaker 2: this sometimes, I mean sometimes sometimes they like you, Desert.
2:38
Speaker 2: I like y'all too a lot. I like you a lot.
2:42
Speaker 2: They like you. I like you. I like you too.
2:45
Speaker 2: Jessica but no, I like you for real, no, like
2:47
Speaker 2: for real, no like in real life, no like for serious,
2:51
Speaker 2: like like for real, for real. You can't go nowhere
2:53
Speaker 2: like we stuktok like like like it's like peanut butter
2:58
Speaker 2: and jella and that's all I do. I don't do
2:59
Speaker 2: no peanut butter, just peanut butter. No, just jelly. It's
3:02
Speaker 2: peanut butter, peanut butter, and it's grape jelly. No, no,
3:06
Speaker 2: you had me until you say, wait, no, yes, strawberry.
3:10
Speaker 2: I can't do great, I can, all right, So y'all
3:13
Speaker 2: let us know in the comments strawberry jelly or grape jelly.
3:17
Speaker 2: Grape jelly? I mean, I even give Why are you
3:20
Speaker 2: telling people what they jelly they're gonna choose? I even
3:24
Speaker 2: give you mixed mixed beery jelly, mixed beerry. Will you
3:28
Speaker 2: get this at the grocery store? No? Yeah, no the
3:33
Speaker 2: waffle house? Okay, okay, it's a mixed beery mixed yeahla
3:39
Speaker 2: house is good. But don't give me a grape jelly. No,
3:43
Speaker 2: we don't let us know in the comments strawberry jelly
3:46
Speaker 2: or grape jelly for your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yeah,
3:50
Speaker 2: so as much as we love each other, there are
3:52
Speaker 2: some things that are are different, very different. But you know, Facebook,
3:57
Speaker 2: Hair tell you that we we've been friends for three years,
4:00
Speaker 2: but technically we only been friends for two. Well, our
4:02
Speaker 2: friendship developed. We known each other probably three years, but
4:06
Speaker 2: our friendship developed like two years ago. Is that like
4:11
Speaker 2: surprising to you, Like how fast it's gone. I don't
4:16
Speaker 2: think it's surprising. I think when you give space for
4:21
Speaker 2: a new relationship, the right relationship, it organically happens how
4:27
Speaker 2: it should happens. Anyway. That's one thing I do think
4:31
Speaker 2: that I love about our relationship, Like I think that
4:36
Speaker 2: we gave each other room to be ourselves, even though
4:40
Speaker 2: I know for me, I was really trying to figure
4:42
Speaker 2: out who I was in the midst of out of that,
4:45
Speaker 2: like who is Jessica? Like what does that look like?
4:50
Speaker 2: And then as I developed or I was trying to
4:53
Speaker 2: figure that out for me on your from you to me,
4:56
Speaker 2: it was like Okay, I can be like really raw
5:02
Speaker 2: with her and She's just like okay, Like that was
5:07
Speaker 2: weird to me, Like it was weird because I walk
5:10
Speaker 2: on X sheals with people. Yeah, I'm like, we're turning
5:14
Speaker 2: a whole different regards I do. I walk on x
5:19
Speaker 2: chals with people because I don't think that I think
5:23
Speaker 2: because of my awkwardness and because of the way I
5:26
Speaker 2: do life, I think that I'm possibly, in other people's eyes,
5:35
Speaker 2: hard to manage or deal with, because I am multifaceted,
5:41
Speaker 2: not just in the idea of talents and stuff like that,
5:45
Speaker 2: but in the idea of I can switch it on
5:47
Speaker 2: and off. Like one minute I'm one man, I'm goofy,
5:52
Speaker 2: I'm having fun, blah blah blah, and the next minute,
5:55
Speaker 2: I'm straight business and that business lady they come up,
6:00
Speaker 2: nobody can't handle her, and okay, so this, okay, I'm
6:05
Speaker 2: gonna let you describe the business.
6:06
Speaker 4: Side of me.
6:07
Speaker 2: It's just straight. Like I think we're we've become a
6:10
Speaker 2: societic who were easily offended. And so when somebody comes direct,
6:18
Speaker 2: not rude or not in a native tone, but when
6:22
Speaker 2: somebody comes at somebody direct, and that's not something that
6:24
Speaker 2: they're used to, it's it can be taken off as
6:27
Speaker 2: an offense. Right. But I've just observed you, Like I'm
6:31
Speaker 2: an observer anyway, So like most of the time, like
6:33
Speaker 2: and when I'm in environment, I'm not I don't really
6:36
Speaker 2: say much, just because I'm just kind of sitting back,
6:37
Speaker 2: I'm looking, I'm watching and you and like you said,
6:42
Speaker 2: it is what it is. It's like you're goofy and
6:44
Speaker 2: funny and and and the ball of energy. But when
6:47
Speaker 2: the business lady switch on, it's like, no, now let's
6:51
Speaker 2: get to this goal. Like we have a goal to
6:52
Speaker 2: meet and now we need this. This is the objective
6:54
Speaker 2: right now, and all the other stuff can come later,
6:57
Speaker 2: but now let's let's get to what we're trying to
6:58
Speaker 2: get to. And that's and that's and that's what I've
7:00
Speaker 2: observed as I've watched you kind of navigate through you know,
7:05
Speaker 2: events and even like in your Corporate America job, you're
7:11
Speaker 2: just about business. And it's like, hey, I can be
7:14
Speaker 2: And I think that's the part that we have to
7:16
Speaker 2: be okay with is all parts of who we are,
7:19
Speaker 2: right you know. I think I think I am in
7:21
Speaker 2: a similar space where I'm just kind of uh learning
7:26
Speaker 2: what that is, being okay with being all of who
7:29
Speaker 2: I am and not know and not having to be
7:31
Speaker 2: just one part in one space. Like I can walk
7:34
Speaker 2: into a space and I can be quiet because I'm
7:37
Speaker 2: a I'm an introvert, I'm an only kid, So I'm
7:38
Speaker 2: perfectly fine with being in my own secluded space. But
7:41
Speaker 2: also and I can go to a film festival and
7:45
Speaker 2: be who I am and and and be the life
7:48
Speaker 2: of the party kind of thing. But just know that
7:49
Speaker 2: I'm probably gonna shrink off some weell. Not not because
7:52
Speaker 2: it's anything's wrong. It's just I just need to like compress. Yeah,
7:56
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Most people don't think I'm introverted.
7:59
Speaker 2: I really like to be by myself some A lot
8:04
Speaker 2: of times it takes so much energy to like to
8:09
Speaker 2: talk to people and go to people and just be honest, fun, happy,
8:12
Speaker 2: go lucky person. And when I switch it on, people like,
8:14
Speaker 2: what's wrong with you? But it wasn't until shout out
8:17
Speaker 2: to my best friend Philip. It wasn't until Philip experienced that, y'all,
8:24
Speaker 2: my little brother here, if y'all see looking you good?
8:30
Speaker 2: He needs aug okay on the on their dog on Tabin.
8:34
Speaker 2: But Philip told me that I that I was an
8:39
Speaker 2: introverted extrovert or extroverted one of the two. And he
8:45
Speaker 2: basically says, you can do crowds, but after after so long,
8:49
Speaker 2: you have to go strink back in, like you you're good.
8:53
Speaker 2: You're extroverted with the people that you're comfortable with, and
8:56
Speaker 2: you're introverted when you're like just trying to map out
9:02
Speaker 2: a room. And you know what, I got fussed the
9:05
Speaker 2: last time, but not because I didn't even know we
9:07
Speaker 2: was gonna be talking about this. I got fussed for
9:12
Speaker 2: not having explained or defined the things that we were
9:16
Speaker 2: talking about. So let's let's define what. Let's do introvert
9:20
Speaker 2: for an introvert. Now, y'all know I can't read real will,
9:24
Speaker 2: so she can, all right. So Introversion is a personality
9:31
Speaker 2: trait that describes people who are more comfortable focusing on
9:35
Speaker 2: their thoughts and feelings than on the outside world. Introverts
9:39
Speaker 2: may be quiet, reserved, and reflective, and they may prefer
9:43
Speaker 2: to spend time alone or in small groups. They also
9:47
Speaker 2: may be deliberate, skeptical, and inhibited, and they may keep
9:52
Speaker 2: their thoughts and feelings to themselves. Do they explain you that?
9:57
Speaker 2: And I showed keep my thoughts and feelings to myself
10:00
Speaker 2: a lot of times, and that was a ray. I'm
10:03
Speaker 2: glad I got an amen corner over no listen like
10:05
Speaker 2: for real, Like I had a conversation with God the
10:08
Speaker 2: last week week before, and I had to apologize because
10:13
Speaker 2: you know, if they say I'm a friend of God,
10:15
Speaker 2: like I realized, even when we think about God, the
10:18
Speaker 2: father got the friend. Like I really had to apologize
10:21
Speaker 2: because I was really treating him like I treat regular
10:23
Speaker 2: people in relationships, like you know, a friend, you should
10:27
Speaker 2: be be able to be yourself around, You should be
10:29
Speaker 2: able to and God know everything. Anyway, He's just he
10:32
Speaker 2: leaves the door open for us to come to him,
10:34
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, And I don't. And I
10:35
Speaker 2: realized I wasn't coming to him with everything, even just
10:38
Speaker 2: talking like this, like I'm found. I'm learning to pray
10:42
Speaker 2: and have conversations with God, just like how we're talking
10:43
Speaker 2: right now. You know, there's I think there's times when
10:46
Speaker 2: you can go up into the you know, the decision,
10:50
Speaker 2: you can go up there, but just how you build
10:53
Speaker 2: intimacy is just convered through conversations and I and I
10:56
Speaker 2: and I had to apologize because I was like, look,
10:58
Speaker 2: I've been treating you like I treat my friends, and
11:00
Speaker 2: it kind of like you. I think they're certain friends
11:03
Speaker 2: that I am able to share certain parts of me
11:07
Speaker 2: with because I know that they can handle it, and
11:10
Speaker 2: then there's certain friends I know who may not quite understand,
11:14
Speaker 2: and I think I don't like really trying to explain myself.
11:17
Speaker 2: I think that's a lot of times why I don't share,
11:20
Speaker 2: because it's like, dang, I don't want to because sometimes
11:22
Speaker 2: I don't know a lot of things that I do.
11:26
Speaker 2: I may not know why I'm doing it. I'm just
11:27
Speaker 2: doing it and people want explaination. Ain't got damn for you? Yeah,
11:30
Speaker 2: I'm just doing it. You bring up a great point
11:33
Speaker 2: of like knowing the friends, and I think that the
11:35
Speaker 2: offense come in comes in with that when that friend
11:40
Speaker 2: feels like, well, I'm able to be that with you.
11:43
Speaker 2: But it's like where in our friendship have you made
11:48
Speaker 2: me comfortable to be the same right? And I think
11:50
Speaker 2: that both parties have to be mature enough to be
11:54
Speaker 2: able to have dialogue on that and the person that
11:58
Speaker 2: is receiving that information on yeah, I can be that
12:02
Speaker 2: for you, but I don't know if you can be
12:04
Speaker 2: that for me needs to receive the information because sometimes
12:07
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna call it space play. Sometimes it's me,
12:10
Speaker 2: like I can say, I can genuinely say sometimes it's me.
12:13
Speaker 2: Oftentimes it's the other person and they're not realizing that
12:17
Speaker 2: they are okay. This is this was my test, right, Like,
12:22
Speaker 2: this was my test for you to see and not
12:25
Speaker 2: necessarily intentional, Like I'm like, oh, the but when I
12:28
Speaker 2: did this, this showed me your response, your response, And
12:33
Speaker 2: I am too much into myself in my head already
12:38
Speaker 2: that if I can allow you, if I allow myself
12:41
Speaker 2: to continue to show that part of me to you,
12:45
Speaker 2: that I would be damaged before I'm healed, right, And
12:47
Speaker 2: so I'm intentionally healing. And once I'm healed enough to
12:52
Speaker 2: deal with whatever response that you may give me, then
12:55
Speaker 2: you'll know that. But right now, I don't know if
12:58
Speaker 2: I'm healed enough to show that side of myself to you.
13:02
Speaker 2: I need somebody that is okay. Like with you. It's
13:05
Speaker 2: one thing I love about you. You're Jessica. I don't
13:08
Speaker 2: agree with that, but we're gonna walk through it together,
13:11
Speaker 2: like literally, like it's it's every time something's revealed, like
13:17
Speaker 2: I'll see some of them you'll be like, oh what
13:18
Speaker 2: is that? Like prime example, We're coming back from our
13:26
Speaker 2: vacation in Biloxi and I get a phone a disturbing
13:31
Speaker 2: phone call. This is the second time I get a
13:35
Speaker 2: disturbing phone call regarding my family and baby. I was fine.
13:40
Speaker 2: I was fine until I got this phone call and
13:45
Speaker 2: does a rego like she's she she's first, she says,
13:49
Speaker 2: it's everything okay, and she kind of hears what's going
13:52
Speaker 2: on in conversation, and so I go, yeah, yeah, yeah,
13:56
Speaker 2: like I am cutting the woman that god off, like
13:58
Speaker 2: I don't want to talk to her, don't I Cause,
14:01
Speaker 2: for one, I already know what she gonna say. And
14:04
Speaker 2: because right now I'm weak and she's strong, I don't
14:07
Speaker 2: want to say. I don't want to deal with it. However,
14:10
Speaker 2: she said, she goes okay, she takes a deep breath,
14:15
Speaker 2: and all I remember her saying, but did you pray?
14:19
Speaker 2: And literally, it ain't been sixty seconds, like I've just
14:22
Speaker 2: got the phone. I'm experiencing these emotions, and I was like,
14:26
Speaker 2: but she was like, but did you pray? I was like,
14:29
Speaker 2: did I pray about what? Like? I literally like, I
14:31
Speaker 2: ain't gonna lie. I snapped at it like I was
14:34
Speaker 2: if y'all want y'all think it's y'all glitter and gold,
14:37
Speaker 2: because y'all see us go to buckets and stuff like that,
14:39
Speaker 2: hey's slinging. But no, like in the background, like I
14:42
Speaker 2: snapped at her, like an I know she knew it
14:44
Speaker 2: wasn't her, but I said, pray about what and she
14:48
Speaker 2: was like the situation, like have you prayed? I'm praying
14:51
Speaker 2: right now. And then like she gets quiet at this
14:55
Speaker 2: point she's dropping me off in my house and she
14:57
Speaker 2: comes in. She said, Okay, Jusica, you need to pray
15:02
Speaker 2: about it. She stood on her ground like it was
15:05
Speaker 2: no disrespect or whatever. She understood where I was and
15:09
Speaker 2: my heart behind my heart, she knows my heart that
15:13
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, like you know, the
15:14
Speaker 2: foundation of my heart. And I think that when people
15:17
Speaker 2: get sometimes people miss the heart or intent of a
15:21
Speaker 2: person when the emotions flair up. And in that moment
15:25
Speaker 2: I knew. I was like, man, I don't have to apologize.
15:28
Speaker 2: I apologize, but I also knew that we weren't gonna
15:31
Speaker 2: miss out on our friendship because I had a moment
15:36
Speaker 2: and it's God, thank you for this moment. It's so
15:39
Speaker 2: many moments that destroy friendships because of lack of understanding
15:44
Speaker 2: of each other. Yeah, I think too, when you begin
15:49
Speaker 2: to learn your friends, like I know, you're always in
15:53
Speaker 2: your head about everything, I mean everything, everything right, So
15:58
Speaker 2: if God says seek first the king right, that don't
16:01
Speaker 2: look like, hey, I can't do what I'm feeling I
16:04
Speaker 2: need to do. Seek first the Kingdom means I just
16:06
Speaker 2: got the I just got this phone call. God. I'm
16:09
Speaker 2: praying to you X, Y and Z. Because if we
16:12
Speaker 2: don't when we don't our emotions because it's such it
16:15
Speaker 2: was such a sensitive matter, like our emotions can outweigh
16:19
Speaker 2: logic sometimes, you know what I'm saying. But if we
16:22
Speaker 2: just really just take a moment to literally pray, it
16:25
Speaker 2: don't got to be nothing deep. Just like God, I'm
16:28
Speaker 2: giving this to you. Amen, you know what I'm saying.
16:31
Speaker 2: And so I know I knew because you know, I
16:34
Speaker 2: kind of knew a little bit of the background. I
16:35
Speaker 2: knew what was happening, and so I already knew. The
16:37
Speaker 2: brain was like, how can I fix this? How can
16:40
Speaker 2: I fix this? How can I fix How can I
16:42
Speaker 2: fix this? How can I fix this? I was like, Hey,
16:44
Speaker 2: did you pray? Because I want to constantly and my
16:47
Speaker 2: thing is to constantly remind you you need to go
16:50
Speaker 2: to Jesus first, Like, hey, I know we have we
16:52
Speaker 2: have parents, we have pastors, we have spiritual parents, we
16:56
Speaker 2: have you know, mentors and all these things with God
16:58
Speaker 2: giving us to help God on this earth. But at
17:00
Speaker 2: the end of the day, we still have to go
17:02
Speaker 2: to God first for everything. And that's what that's what
17:05
Speaker 2: I love about our relationship because even in the midst
17:09
Speaker 2: of and then the thing is, I'm a I am
17:12
Speaker 2: a praying woman and I am the daughter of the King,
17:15
Speaker 2: and like, I'm only y'all, But I love this moment
17:17
Speaker 2: because sometimes y'all can get it twisted.
17:21
Speaker 1: Sometimes y'all can get it twisted, like.
17:25
Speaker 2: Just sold out. I am like every day is not
17:29
Speaker 2: the day that I am quote unquote on one hundred
17:34
Speaker 2: percent or even at ninety. Sometimes I got thirty percent.
17:38
Speaker 2: Say God, this is my thirty percent. I am I'm
17:43
Speaker 2: not okay, I'm not okay, or I need help. And
17:48
Speaker 2: one of the things you spoke about was me being
17:51
Speaker 2: a fixer. And I recently watched a podcast Social Proof
17:58
Speaker 2: with David Shean's and Donny Wiggins. And her name is
18:04
Speaker 2: doctor Spirit. That's what now. I almost call her doctor
18:07
Speaker 2: something else, but her name was doctor Spirit, beautiful black woman.
18:11
Speaker 2: And you can just tell that she is well endowed
18:16
Speaker 2: in her profession right, Like the lady know her stuff
18:19
Speaker 2: and the reason why I know it is because I'm
18:21
Speaker 2: studying right now. So I was able to go like, oh,
18:23
Speaker 2: we're learning that, Oh, we're learning that. And so she's
18:26
Speaker 2: very credible. And one of the things that Donnie was
18:29
Speaker 2: talking about was her. She was addressing Donny on her
18:35
Speaker 2: being a fixer, and she said, there's a difference between
18:40
Speaker 2: being a fixer and a helper. And it been Doney
18:46
Speaker 2: was sound as I was putting myself and done it.
18:48
Speaker 2: She because I literally vision myself like, oh, Donny, I
18:51
Speaker 2: deal with that too, Donny, I deal with it too.
18:53
Speaker 2: So I'm listening for myself at this point. And so
18:55
Speaker 2: as she's describing the difference between a helper and a fixer,
19:02
Speaker 2: she's basically saying that a helper basically enhances what's all
19:08
Speaker 2: with in you. So a helper gives you the accountability,
19:12
Speaker 2: the push that you need. It gives you the tools.
19:18
Speaker 2: The helper gives you the tools, but you still have
19:20
Speaker 2: to do the work. The fixer does the work work.
19:25
Speaker 2: The fixer actually does the work. And so I said, God,
19:28
Speaker 2: am I a fixer or am I helper? And as
19:33
Speaker 2: I drove here today, it's interesting that he was talking
19:35
Speaker 2: about this right now as I drove it today because
19:38
Speaker 2: this not ain't been on me for a couple of
19:40
Speaker 2: days now, and I knew I was a fixer, but
19:44
Speaker 2: when she explained it like that, it was convicting. First
19:50
Speaker 2: of all, it asked the question do I know how
19:53
Speaker 2: to step back? Like? Do I know how to step back?
19:58
Speaker 2: Why do I need? Why do you need? Why do
20:00
Speaker 2: I need to fix it? Why do I need to
20:03
Speaker 2: be the gap filler? Why do I need to to
20:06
Speaker 2: to solve it? Why do I have to do it right?
20:12
Speaker 2: Second thing it answers is do I believe that the
20:17
Speaker 2: other person can do it? Because what she says was
20:22
Speaker 2: is it does Being the fixer does not a lot
20:24
Speaker 2: a lot the confidence that the opposite the other person
20:28
Speaker 2: or people need. So if I'm always fixing something, then
20:31
Speaker 2: they never learned how to fish. While you know it's
20:36
Speaker 2: whatever the story is. When the man takes him to fish,
20:40
Speaker 2: he teaches him how to fix. He doesn't bring him
20:42
Speaker 2: a fish. Right, So, if I'm a fixer, I'm always
20:48
Speaker 2: solving the problem, I'm not. This is so good I
20:51
Speaker 2: hear the Lord say this. If I'm the fixer, i
20:56
Speaker 2: am also the solution. You are, I'm the solution. And
21:00
Speaker 2: then this is so good. And then I have the
21:02
Speaker 2: audacity to wonder why I have the burden of being
21:06
Speaker 2: a solutionist when God was already solution. So now I'm
21:10
Speaker 2: trying to take on the yoke of God and not
21:14
Speaker 2: giving my yoke to God or not just saying hey,
21:16
Speaker 2: I'm the help meet, right, I'm the help I'm the
21:19
Speaker 2: person that's guiding you, are coaching you along the way
21:23
Speaker 2: with the solution of God. I have now then said okay,
21:28
Speaker 2: because I'm going to fix this, I am going to
21:33
Speaker 2: provide the solution as well. And so what if the
21:35
Speaker 2: Lord told me on the way here? He says, when
21:40
Speaker 2: have you ever called Jesus the fixer? Even when Jesus
21:51
Speaker 2: came back after he had resurrected, even when he did that,
21:56
Speaker 2: he said, I'm going to send help. So not only
22:00
Speaker 2: did Jesus come to help right, which is being the
22:03
Speaker 2: bridge to Heaven, right to God to see God, but
22:08
Speaker 2: he also sent the help. And so I was like, okay, God,
22:13
Speaker 2: So if I'm supposed to be like Jesus, it's what
22:15
Speaker 2: would Jesus do situation. Even when Jesus was like doing
22:21
Speaker 2: the miracles and stuff, most of those miracles, if not
22:26
Speaker 2: all had the person to be engaged in the miracle,
22:33
Speaker 2: and so I am breaking off the engagement for other
22:37
Speaker 2: people by fixing the problem. And one my sister told
22:42
Speaker 2: me this recently. She was like, just because you can't
22:45
Speaker 2: fix everything, like because with our relations don't play with okay,
22:52
Speaker 2: I will, I will turn into a whole nother human being.
22:56
Speaker 2: But she looked at me square in my face, she said,
22:59
Speaker 2: you can fix everything. I wouldn't gonna say anything to
23:02
Speaker 2: you about X, Y and Z because I don't want
23:04
Speaker 2: I need to fix it. I'm an adult. She had
23:07
Speaker 2: to look at me and say that I really got
23:09
Speaker 2: a problem. I really do have a problem. So the
23:13
Speaker 2: Lord was like, Justica, when you call them my name,
23:17
Speaker 2: you don't say, oh, fix this, fix this. You're like, God,
23:19
Speaker 2: help me, because it's all I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
23:21
Speaker 2: give you the tools so that you can use them
23:23
Speaker 2: and then and then we can move forward. Wow. So like,
23:29
Speaker 2: I gotta break this. I gotta break this fixing y'all.
23:32
Speaker 2: Like if y'all, if y'all feel me in a coming,
23:36
Speaker 2: so just let me know because I know I'm not
23:37
Speaker 2: by myself. Y'all not gonna make me feel like you're
23:40
Speaker 2: not by yourself. I'm not and it's the same. It's
23:42
Speaker 2: the thing, like I think you just have to be mindful.
23:44
Speaker 2: I think as you continue to build your relationship with God,
23:50
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, we are to lead
23:52
Speaker 2: people to Christ and that could look different just depending
23:57
Speaker 2: on the situation, but even just being able to send
23:59
Speaker 2: it the gap and innerceed that's still being able to
24:02
Speaker 2: bridge the gap and still giving giving them God and
24:05
Speaker 2: not giving us giving them ourselves. Because I think that's
24:08
Speaker 2: because I think too if you kind of look at
24:11
Speaker 2: some of the situations, it's probably depending on the relationship.
24:14
Speaker 2: Like sometimes people probably probably that are really close to
24:17
Speaker 2: closer to you, you don't want to see them. You
24:19
Speaker 2: don't want to see nobody suffer, you know what I'm saying.
24:21
Speaker 2: So it's like, let me do what I can just
24:22
Speaker 2: to help them, you know what I'm saying. But it's
24:24
Speaker 2: still at the end of the day, we don't want
24:25
Speaker 2: to be a critch. But you know what, I would
24:28
Speaker 2: love for your last statement that you just made to
24:30
Speaker 2: be true. But I don't think it is, like I
24:34
Speaker 2: literally okay Quy's story. Shout out to Brianca Harty, my
24:38
Speaker 2: best friend, my sister, baby we so we went on
24:43
Speaker 2: this girls trip to North Carolina, right, and as we're
24:47
Speaker 2: ending our trip, we decided to go see this thrift
24:49
Speaker 2: store and gosh, this is crazy. So as we're in
24:57
Speaker 2: the thrift store, I see this man and he, you know,
25:00
Speaker 2: he looks homeless and he you know, I could tell that,
25:04
Speaker 2: you know, he was a little off or whatever. But
25:06
Speaker 2: he found me. Let's just say that he found me.
25:09
Speaker 2: I was she was the one part of the store.
25:10
Speaker 2: I was another part. But it was plenty of people
25:12
Speaker 2: in the store, right, And basically he kind of I
25:18
Speaker 2: won't say he cornered me, but like he was saying
25:23
Speaker 2: he said hey, and I was like hey, you know,
25:25
Speaker 2: and I kept on shopping and stuff like that, and
25:28
Speaker 2: then he said he got close to me, He's like,
25:30
Speaker 2: can you pray for me? Like and I was like okay.
25:36
Speaker 2: So as i'm I said, well, let's move because like
25:39
Speaker 2: literally I'm cornered like in this in this corner of
25:41
Speaker 2: the store. And I said, well, let's move up a
25:43
Speaker 2: little bit, like let's let's move up because I felt
25:46
Speaker 2: something and I was like, okay. He asked for prayer,
25:48
Speaker 2: so maybe I just pray or whatever I'm trying to
25:50
Speaker 2: do the right thing, operating as a fixer, right, So
25:55
Speaker 2: I pray for him and something I remember in US,
25:59
Speaker 2: which called a training. That's why it's good to go
26:01
Speaker 2: get trained. I remember training to keep my eyes open,
26:05
Speaker 2: so I had just learned it. So I'm praying with
26:08
Speaker 2: my eyes open, and so I pray for him whatever,
26:11
Speaker 2: and Breed comes right up at the end of the prayer,
26:15
Speaker 2: and baby Breed a sermon on a thousand hear me.
26:21
Speaker 2: She peeped up so quick and she ain't say nothing,
26:24
Speaker 2: but her body language told me something was not right. Yeah, okay,
26:29
Speaker 2: so my body told this is so good. My body
26:31
Speaker 2: told me something was right, but I didn't really listen
26:34
Speaker 2: to it because I was like, maybe I should go
26:36
Speaker 2: ahead and pray. Or I went here and it's like
26:38
Speaker 2: this is the right thing to do. Brie was like,
26:42
Speaker 2: came up, like what's going on on? So we check
26:46
Speaker 2: out or whatever. He was following me and then I
26:48
Speaker 2: told her. I was like, hey, he was just following
26:50
Speaker 2: me for a minute, and then he has been pray whatever,
26:53
Speaker 2: and so we don't see him anymore. Child. We walk
26:56
Speaker 2: at that dog on that the thrift store, and as
27:02
Speaker 2: we walk out, you hear the hey again. And I
27:08
Speaker 2: turn around, brigos, no, Justica, go get to the car,
27:11
Speaker 2: open the door. So we open the door or whatever.
27:13
Speaker 2: He's like, he's following us to the car. And baby,
27:17
Speaker 2: the rebuke that Bri gave me, it was it was
27:23
Speaker 2: in love. It was so much love. But I got
27:26
Speaker 2: rebuked by my friend that day because it was an
27:29
Speaker 2: un She was like, you cannot do that, Like, you
27:31
Speaker 2: gotta be safe, Like you know, you're a woman, you
27:34
Speaker 2: a dish. You gotta pay attention to your surroundings. So
27:37
Speaker 2: you can't just leave with okay, you can pray for everybody.
27:40
Speaker 2: L No, you gotta you gotta be mindful. So and
27:43
Speaker 2: I feel like at that moment, I was operating as
27:48
Speaker 2: a fixer, like and because if I was operating as
27:52
Speaker 2: a helper, then my help I would have been able
27:55
Speaker 2: to because he was telling my body. That's why they
27:57
Speaker 2: say pay attention to your body, pay attention into your
28:01
Speaker 2: your senses, because they're telling you something. It's not always
28:04
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes you might need to fix that. And
28:06
Speaker 2: if I'm this is so good. If I'm rooted in
28:08
Speaker 2: Christ and i am a believer, I'm a I am
28:12
Speaker 2: I'm a kingdom builder. I seek you first, the Kingdom
28:15
Speaker 2: of heaven every day, Then why wouldn't he notify me
28:21
Speaker 2: that something's off? Something right? But when I don't respond properly,
28:26
Speaker 2: I can put myself in danger. And so I tell
28:29
Speaker 2: that story to say that because I I operate as
28:33
Speaker 2: a fixer, then my mind always goes to fix, even
28:37
Speaker 2: using righteous tools, delawarray, even using righteous tools like prayer,
28:46
Speaker 2: even using tools as you know, having a kind heart,
28:49
Speaker 2: like sometimes everybody. Oh, how can I say this? You
28:55
Speaker 2: ain't for everybody? Yeah, he he asked for prayer, but
29:01
Speaker 2: the spirit that he operating in obviously knew that I
29:03
Speaker 2: would pray, you know what I'm saying. So now, because
29:07
Speaker 2: I have a spirit of fixing folks or fixing things, yeah,
29:12
Speaker 2: or thinking that I'm the solution, I'm a lousive I'm
29:17
Speaker 2: the solution for something, but not all things, okay, And
29:21
Speaker 2: so I think that being a fixer. Oh God, you
29:25
Speaker 2: are gripping me right now. Being a fixer can put
29:33
Speaker 2: you in dangerous situations. Yeah, if we're not careful. If
29:38
Speaker 2: I'm honest, being a fixer put me in the abusive situation.
29:45
Speaker 2: Oh I can fix this. Yeah, he cheated on me,
29:48
Speaker 2: but I can fix this. He you know he doesn't
29:51
Speaker 2: have a he didn't have a mother, his biological mother
29:54
Speaker 2: growing up. I can fix this. Yeah, he hasn't been
29:58
Speaker 2: loved properly. I could fixes girl. Shut that. Shut up. Well,
30:05
Speaker 2: I was doing a I was listening to it. I've
30:07
Speaker 2: been doing this. It's like a free prophetic class. And
30:13
Speaker 2: the last teaching that we had he was talking about
30:18
Speaker 2: the personhood. He was talking about personhood, prayerhood and prophecy
30:23
Speaker 2: or something. Anyway, I'm only on the personhood part. But
30:26
Speaker 2: but as we're sitting here, it started to come up
30:29
Speaker 2: to me. It was in the in the in the
30:31
Speaker 2: space of like talking about prophecy, like being a prophetic person.
30:35
Speaker 2: How a lot of times, if we're not careful with
30:38
Speaker 2: our own like soul wounds, like the things that we
30:41
Speaker 2: struggled through and stuff like that. He said, a lot
30:44
Speaker 2: what happens is God gives us, say you're you're a
30:46
Speaker 2: prophet or a prophetic person. God gives the person one
30:49
Speaker 2: hundred percent of what he's trying to tell whoever, right.
30:53
Speaker 2: But because you know, we've we've we have our own experiences.
30:56
Speaker 2: Sometimes our I don't know, trauma, wounds, whatever. Sometimes what
31:02
Speaker 2: we give back out is not one hundred percent because
31:04
Speaker 2: it's filtered through what we already had, what we have
31:07
Speaker 2: going on internally, So even when we're talking about like friendships,
31:11
Speaker 2: sometimes like sometimes we respond to things depending on what
31:17
Speaker 2: we have going on. So I think it's just when
31:19
Speaker 2: I was when as I was listening to you talking
31:21
Speaker 2: and I was like, dang, it's just important, so important
31:22
Speaker 2: that we just do the work. We allow the Lord
31:26
Speaker 2: to help us do the work, to really heal through
31:30
Speaker 2: the things that we've gone through so that we can
31:32
Speaker 2: be one hundred percent in our friendships and different relationships,
31:36
Speaker 2: just be one hundred percent of who God has already
31:39
Speaker 2: called us to be, so we're not filtering what He's
31:43
Speaker 2: given us through our own hurts and traumas. Because there's
31:46
Speaker 2: there's a reason why you want to fix everything. There
31:49
Speaker 2: is a reason, yeah, And nine times out of ten
31:53
Speaker 2: it is rooted in fear. It's the belief that if
31:57
Speaker 2: I don't fix it, nobody else will, right and this
32:03
Speaker 2: season I've had to slowly but surely get out of that.
32:06
Speaker 2: But it's also making me frustrated with myself on why
32:09
Speaker 2: did I think I could fix this. It's making me
32:13
Speaker 2: question myself and when people when people respond to me
32:17
Speaker 2: like get frustrated and all this stuff like that. I
32:20
Speaker 2: am learning how to back up. And some people may
32:22
Speaker 2: take it as attitude, but I'm just like, you know what,
32:26
Speaker 2: I can't fight you about helping you because if I do,
32:32
Speaker 2: I become with yeah, the fixer, the fixer. So if
32:35
Speaker 2: I'm fighting to help you, I'm trying to fix you
32:38
Speaker 2: if you don't receive the help. You know, and people
32:43
Speaker 2: have to be ready. That's the thing. Like you can
32:45
Speaker 2: want to help them all day, but if they're not
32:47
Speaker 2: ready to receive it, or they're not ready to actually
32:50
Speaker 2: put the work in behind it, then you're What you're
32:54
Speaker 2: doing is kind of like in vain. If you think
32:55
Speaker 2: about it's almost kind of like when Jesus. When the
32:57
Speaker 2: disciples asked Jesus, why does he talk in parables? He
33:01
Speaker 2: was like, though pretty much in long story short, he
33:03
Speaker 2: was pretty much like, those who are ready for it,
33:06
Speaker 2: they will understand what I'm saying. But those who aren't,
33:09
Speaker 2: it's just gonna be what it's gonna It's just that
33:11
Speaker 2: it's just a story, you know what I'm saying. It's
33:13
Speaker 2: kind of the same thing. It's kind of the same
33:14
Speaker 2: way when people are ready to receive the help that
33:17
Speaker 2: God has already, especially if you know it's it's God
33:19
Speaker 2: our name, like it's sitting there for a reason. But
33:22
Speaker 2: people have to be we have to be ready to
33:23
Speaker 2: receive and be open to what that looks like because
33:26
Speaker 2: it probably it's gonna be work we want who want
33:28
Speaker 2: to work right? And then also and we're gonna in
33:31
Speaker 2: that part because we gotta get to extrovert. Okay, I
33:37
Speaker 2: think what I've seen is that when you're a fixer,
33:41
Speaker 2: that person's spirit knows that you're a fixer, so they're
33:45
Speaker 2: going to they could potentially manipulate you into fixing. And
33:53
Speaker 2: then now you're stuck in something. The look now you're
34:01
Speaker 2: stuck in something that wasn't could have that could have
34:07
Speaker 2: been your assignment, but you because you're not in the
34:13
Speaker 2: right spirit. I would say that has become a detriment
34:20
Speaker 2: to a part of your life. Not your life, because
34:22
Speaker 2: your life can you know what I'm saying. You can
34:24
Speaker 2: fix things, you can miss up some things, and the
34:26
Speaker 2: grace of God is there. However, you don't want to
34:31
Speaker 2: keep I don't want to keep experiencing the same thing
34:35
Speaker 2: over and over. Yeah, I don't. I'm kind of sick
34:38
Speaker 2: of myself. Extrovert Okay, Okay, y'all. I know, y'all like
34:49
Speaker 2: when you're gonna talk about an extrovert, extrovert, okay. An
34:53
Speaker 2: extrovert is someone who has personality personality characterized by outgoingness,
34:59
Speaker 2: high ended energy, and a tendency to enjoy being around people.
35:03
Speaker 2: Extroverts are often described as sociable, talkative, active, and warm.
35:08
Speaker 2: They tend to be enthusiastic and action oriented, and maybe
35:15
Speaker 2: more likely to say yes to opportunities for excitement. Extroverts
35:20
Speaker 2: as are also known for having good social skills and
35:24
Speaker 2: may be able to adapt to conversations with a variety
35:28
Speaker 2: of people in different situations. M that's why I say
35:31
Speaker 2: I got both. Yeah, I think i'm I'm both. It's
35:33
Speaker 2: so funny because like even my my clients, like my
35:35
Speaker 2: salign clients, when I tell that I am introverted, they
35:38
Speaker 2: don't believe me because that's like a one on one
35:41
Speaker 2: on one maybe like a little small group setting is
35:44
Speaker 2: very comfortable for me that I can, I can feel
35:46
Speaker 2: like I can. That's enough to uh, not to manage.
35:49
Speaker 2: But I feel like a small group is good. But
35:52
Speaker 2: when you put me, when you sit me in a
35:53
Speaker 2: big crowd. That's when that's when my love, my little
35:57
Speaker 2: introverted is start too. I think I definitely obto see
36:01
Speaker 2: really oh definitely. No no, no. Like when when I
36:05
Speaker 2: was in the podcast Summer Baby, I was working the room.
36:07
Speaker 2: No no no, I was like, I love like, oh
36:10
Speaker 2: my gods, like this is so exciting. Get me in
36:14
Speaker 2: a smart like Philip had a kickback one day and
36:17
Speaker 2: he was like, are you okay? And I was like,
36:19
Speaker 2: that's when me and Rock became so funny. Baby she
36:22
Speaker 2: came over there. I was like, so uncomfortable. I love
36:25
Speaker 2: a good kick I like a kick back with yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:30
Speaker 2: I don't want to be with people, I know, because
36:32
Speaker 2: that's what I really relax. I really so this that
36:35
Speaker 2: might answer if I feel like I can't be myself,
36:38
Speaker 2: I just like I go, I go in. So I
36:42
Speaker 2: just asked the Google. Can people be both introverts and introverts?
36:49
Speaker 2: It says what Google saying Google, you know what, Google
36:53
Speaker 2: got this new AI thing or whatever. So I kind
36:55
Speaker 2: of like you. I kind of feel like, but it's
36:58
Speaker 2: not George. It's not George. George, it's not George. We
37:03
Speaker 2: had to give them a name. No, the woman a
37:05
Speaker 2: god gave him a name, and I just went with
37:08
Speaker 2: it because she found George and you would think they
37:12
Speaker 2: didne got married. She like, did George tell you that?
37:17
Speaker 2: But yeah, so Google AI says, Yes, people can be
37:21
Speaker 2: both introverts and extroverts, and this is called being an ambrovert.
37:26
Speaker 2: Ambroverts exhibit qualities or of both introverts and extroverts, and
37:32
Speaker 2: can be labeled as pure introverts or extroverts. Their tendencies
37:38
Speaker 2: can change depending on their mood, situation goals, and the
37:43
Speaker 2: people around them. Ambroverts may feel equally comfortable in social
37:48
Speaker 2: situations and alone time, and maybe good listeners and communicators.
37:54
Speaker 2: They may also be empathetic and have an ability to
37:58
Speaker 2: regulate their own behavior. Here now that I think that
38:03
Speaker 2: just helped a lot of us out. Yeah, that can
38:07
Speaker 2: definitely say I'm both. They can't. Sorry, hey y'all, you
38:15
Speaker 2: was doing good. I was gonna couple of mins you
38:18
Speaker 2: off the camera. But now that it was just one time,
38:22
Speaker 2: one time, because you know, because before we was we
38:25
Speaker 2: were struggling with hey, I'm getting better. But I can
38:29
Speaker 2: definitely see see myself being both, like like I'm an
38:32
Speaker 2: only kid, so just naturally, I think even with only kids.
38:35
Speaker 2: Most people are like, oh, yeah, only kid, You're spoiled.
38:37
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, no, you don't know. If Willy Faith
38:39
Speaker 2: WILLI Faith was not having that she would now now
38:43
Speaker 2: she did what she She did the best that she
38:44
Speaker 2: could to make sure I was taken care of. But
38:47
Speaker 2: I was just spoiling a different way. Like my grandparents
38:49
Speaker 2: loved on me and stuff like that, but I was
38:51
Speaker 2: just okay with being by myself. I think that's where
38:53
Speaker 2: a lot of my creative craftiness kind of came into play,
38:57
Speaker 2: like my mom's soul. So I used to go get
38:59
Speaker 2: like strapped scraps of fabric and make barbaradolls floats with
39:02
Speaker 2: needles and thread and you know, drawing all these things.
39:06
Speaker 2: But I the cool thing. The thing, as I look back,
39:08
Speaker 2: even when I got into like high school and stuff like,
39:11
Speaker 2: I was kind of like a I don't float in
39:16
Speaker 2: the word because I was so multi layered. I was creative.
39:22
Speaker 2: I played sports, I played basketball, volleyball, ran trite those things.
39:25
Speaker 2: Then I had, like I'm gonna say, like my regular friends,
39:27
Speaker 2: like I could flow in and out of all these
39:29
Speaker 2: groups and still and be cool with everybody, you know
39:31
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. But there were still moments where it
39:34
Speaker 2: was like, hey you good. I'm like, yeah, I'm good.
39:35
Speaker 2: I just need I just need to men. Yeah, just it.
39:38
Speaker 2: And I think people, I think the Ambervert thing is
39:40
Speaker 2: really good because it basically says, I am girl. I
39:45
Speaker 2: almost start speaking, I am what I need to be
39:49
Speaker 2: when I need to go and I need to be it.
39:51
Speaker 2: And I think that's that is now that in my mind.
39:54
Speaker 2: Now I know I'm probably get some preachers and some
39:56
Speaker 2: saints that are gonna say, now you are a child
39:58
Speaker 2: and a can just listen, just listen real quick, Okay.
40:05
Speaker 2: I think that if there's a preference or something more
40:10
Speaker 2: kingdom like, I think that it would be the emerord. Yeah,
40:14
Speaker 2: because you get to be what you need to be
40:17
Speaker 2: when you need to be it.
40:18
Speaker 1: And I have.
40:20
Speaker 2: Harmony, as you would say, yeah, you gave us a
40:24
Speaker 2: new word with Ara. Come, I have harmony. And so
40:28
Speaker 2: what I where the missing piece is or where if
40:31
Speaker 2: I need to just be watching, then I can just
40:34
Speaker 2: be watching. If I need to go be on the stage,
40:37
Speaker 2: not gonna be on stage. It's one of the things
40:39
Speaker 2: you you told me. You was like, Jessica, how do
40:42
Speaker 2: you go from you laughing or you on the you know,
40:46
Speaker 2: you're telling people in the back, no, da dah, we
40:47
Speaker 2: need to do this, and then you go on stage
40:49
Speaker 2: and if that boss shot like I can't explain it.
40:55
Speaker 2: I can't explain it. But now I know that the
40:58
Speaker 2: beauty between the beauty and being able to maneuver in
41:02
Speaker 2: different environments, it's needed. It's needed. So I'm an ambrovert. Okay.
41:07
Speaker 2: I love what you said when you said I am,
41:10
Speaker 2: because God was pretty much saying I am what I am.
41:13
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. And I think when you
41:14
Speaker 2: get to the point where you are okay with you,
41:18
Speaker 2: all of you, whatever that may look like, regardless of
41:21
Speaker 2: how people think, feel or say, like, that's kind of
41:24
Speaker 2: I'm where I'm where I'm striving to get to. It's
41:26
Speaker 2: being okay with who God, what He's given me, and
41:28
Speaker 2: who He's created me to be for whatever. Like I do, hair,
41:32
Speaker 2: I can I need to be this right here, okay? Great?
41:35
Speaker 2: If I need to take some pictures over here, okay, great.
41:37
Speaker 2: If I just need to be a listening ear, okay, great,
41:39
Speaker 2: I can be all of these things. Like I think
41:41
Speaker 2: I was trying to like separate them, like I was
41:44
Speaker 2: trying to just just beat this one little thing and
41:46
Speaker 2: beat us one little thing, just like no, I can't,
41:48
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't separate it cause it's it's me,
41:51
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. So I think we just
41:53
Speaker 2: have to get to a place where we're comfortable with
41:56
Speaker 2: the skin that we're in regards less of what that
42:00
Speaker 2: looks like for anybody else. Y'all know when folks called
42:04
Speaker 2: me on while we recording, Hey girl, Yeah, we recording y'all,
42:11
Speaker 2: y'all say, hey, right, I'm not gonna show you so
42:16
Speaker 2: real quick. We just we're doing an episode about uh,
42:20
Speaker 2: introvert versus extrovert, but it's also something called an ambervert,
42:24
Speaker 2: which is a mixture of both. That's what you are, but.
42:32
Speaker 4: I intentionally try to be an extrovert.
42:35
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna show you the desert. So okay, now,
42:44
Speaker 2: now you didn't get on the pot. So now, so
42:49
Speaker 2: now when you say that you're you intentionally try to
42:52
Speaker 2: be an extrovert, what does that process look like for you?
43:00
Speaker 4: I think I'm an introvert also because I got a
43:02
Speaker 4: little anxiety, so I try to like max anxiety, and
43:07
Speaker 4: I guess not be so introverted in certain situations where
43:11
Speaker 4: I know I need to be more extroverted or more social.
43:15
Speaker 2: That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. So that basically
43:20
Speaker 2: you're saying that when you're put in the environment that
43:22
Speaker 2: you need to be, you have to kind of gas
43:24
Speaker 2: yourself up. Yeah a little bit.
43:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then like you like, if I'm at an
43:34
Speaker 4: event and I'm talking to people, you'll see me kind
43:37
Speaker 4: of like pull off to the back and be quiet
43:38
Speaker 4: in a minute because my social battery.
43:43
Speaker 2: But you know what's interesting, you know, you know what's interesting.
43:46
Speaker 2: Know in college, you know that's when they did not
43:49
Speaker 2: have been friends since college. Well, no, that's a lie
43:52
Speaker 2: before the end. But our friendship developed in college, So
43:56
Speaker 2: since then, you would think that you had a gap
43:59
Speaker 2: where he's like always socializing outside. You was outside and
44:05
Speaker 2: most of the observing. Okay, you would think socializing now,
44:12
Speaker 2: so that's a good point. Now, that's a good point.
44:16
Speaker 2: Just because I'm outside, don't mean I'm extroverted. That's what
44:21
Speaker 2: she just said. Thank you for popping up in our conversations. Okay,
44:33
Speaker 2: call me, girl, Oh listen, call me. During the recording,
44:38
Speaker 2: the phone didn't answered it. But the reason why I
44:41
Speaker 2: got went through is because she is my favorite. So
44:44
Speaker 2: do not disturb. So I was like, I thought, petir,
44:48
Speaker 2: but that was that was a good that was good input.
44:50
Speaker 2: And so I've enjoyed this conversation, didn't it was gonna
44:53
Speaker 2: go there? We went there real quick, real it took
44:56
Speaker 2: a turn real quick. That's why I have That's why
44:59
Speaker 2: here Now, how you know what you wanna talk about?
45:00
Speaker 1: Baby?
45:01
Speaker 2: The Lord, the Lord, the Lord, the Lord. All right,
45:07
Speaker 2: you guys, So I appreciate you guys for tuning in.
45:11
Speaker 2: Let's let us know if you feeling you're more so
45:15
Speaker 2: an introvert extrovert. Oh you in the middle. Oh yeah,
45:18
Speaker 2: in the middle, in the sprinkles. You got a little
45:21
Speaker 2: sprinkle of everything, but you got anything else. My thing is,
45:27
Speaker 2: I think, just be okay with who you are, like
45:30
Speaker 2: I know as and and that and then don't that
45:32
Speaker 2: don't mean and that. We got to embrace the good
45:35
Speaker 2: and the bad, right, but also embracing that just giving
45:38
Speaker 2: space to allow God to come in and clean us up.
45:41
Speaker 2: Because I had somebody to tell me that I've been
45:43
Speaker 2: trying to sweep my own sweep my own stuff myself.
45:46
Speaker 2: But that ain't what he said. He said, just come
45:48
Speaker 2: to him and then he'll allow allow him to do
45:51
Speaker 2: the cleaning. So just be okay, but being an introvert
45:53
Speaker 2: extrovert allow him to allow him to help. Yeah, boom
45:58
Speaker 2: boom that is see listen, we love you guys. Thank
46:02
Speaker 2: you so much for tuning in and until next week,
46:05
Speaker 2: remember life could be much more simple if you just says.
46:15
Speaker 5: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
46:17
Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
46:20
Speaker 1: connect with us.
46:20
Speaker 5: On all social media platforms at the Jessica S. Smith.
46:25
Speaker 5: I know I won't see you back until next week,
46:27
Speaker 5: but until then, remember to love always yourself and always
46:34
Speaker 5: thank thank God for.
46:35
Speaker 2: One another day.
46:38
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way. Hey,
46:44
Speaker 3: pray thank God for another day. Hey hey, I'm just
46:51
Speaker 3: thankful for another day. Hey hey another day? Oh another
46:57
Speaker 3: day wise, another day to get it, another day that
47:00
Speaker 3: rise up, another day living another day. We loved ones.
47:04
Speaker 3: I always remember holding down for a ball one ye