Transcript

Light Fixtures · onefjef

0:05
It's Saturday night.
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It's about two weeks.
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I've lived here in Mexico City
0:13
and I would say it has been 80.
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Percent to 85%.
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Great, good, great, whatever.
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But today, today, today, I felt lonely.
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I felt a deep expat loneliness
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that.
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One can only really feel when one is
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a relatively long away, away from, most people that you know,
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I don't remember feeling this in Korea I don't remember feeling that intense.
0:53
A level of expat loneliness that I felt tonight or today rather in Korea,
1:00
but maybe I did and I just forgot it because we always, you know, nostalgia
1:04
is just like memory without the details.
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I really do love this place, this city, and I am always struck by the
1:15
friendliness of the people that I meet,
1:19
and my cynicism is like, oh, they just want me to come back to their
1:22
restaurant, or they want me to come back to their bar or whatever.
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It's, but everybody in America or in the United States rather, I keep doing that.
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Everybody in the United States, all bars in the United States
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want, they want me to come back.
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The restaurants, they want you to come back
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in Mexico though.
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They really make you feel like you.
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Want to come back.
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And I don't think it's insincere.
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Maybe it is, I don't know.
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But it's a real friendliness that I really can't get enough of.
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And if, you know, I live here now, so when I tell PE, I mean people
1:56
at the barn, they're expats.
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And then I tell 'em, I live here now.
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And they're like, whoa.
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And I wonder if part of.
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The niceness is because I'm an, they think I'm a tourist.
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Right.
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This is my cynicism talking.
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Right.
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But yesterday I needed a new spatula and I went to the market near me.
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This big market, I think it's Mein Market, I forget the name of it.
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I think it's Mein and.
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I had lunch at a place I was starving.
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Had lunch at a place in the middle of the market.
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Very nice woman works there and was basically like, you should
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have this and this and this.
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And I was like, alright, I trust you.
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And she was right.
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There was some taco that was, had a pepper.
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I mean, it was, it was legit.
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But while I'm eating, she comes over and checks on me.
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I don't speak Spanish very well at all.
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And I told her that, and she knows that, but she's still speaking in Spanish to
3:00
me just because she, she's doing it.
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I appreciated that and I understood some of it, but at one point I was
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like, I needed a spatula 'cause I know spatula in the house for some reason.
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I have eggs, I have tortillas, and how do I turn these
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things over without a spatula?
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So.
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I asked her, how do I get a spatula
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I said, is there a spatula salesman in this market?
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And she's like, see, blah, blah, blah.
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I don't know what else you said.
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And so I finished eating and I paid my, bill and I start walking away and the
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woman comes up and she's like, I don't know what she said, hello or whatever,
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again, I really need to learn Spanish, but she said whatever it was, and I
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turned around and she's like, come, come.
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And so she takes me all the way across the market, a five minute
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walk, maybe 10 to show me where the special the sales are happening.
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I don't know, man.
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I don't know.
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You tell me.
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You tell me.
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And then I bought a spatula with, it was for like a barbecue grill it
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was not a spatula of four inside.
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It was a spatula for outside.
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And I bought it anyway because I felt obligated, because I
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had been walked all the way.
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She was gone.
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But whatever I felt obligated.
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So now I have the spatula that I have to literally stand like a foot and a
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half from the stove to, to flip over the, like it's, but the memories that it
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brings up are really what's important.
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I think it's not so much the difficulty in using the spatula,
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it's the memories that the spatula brings up in you that are important.
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And this spatula,
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this bachelor brings up solid.
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Solid memories of kindness of Mexican
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kindness.
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Yeah.
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I went to a yoga class this morning, my second yoga class here in Mexico City,
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and the first class was taught half in English, which was, and it was good.
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It was a good.
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You know, gentle sliding into the yoga world here, but this one was
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not, and I knew it wouldn't be.
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And that was okay.
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Anyway.
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This class was entirely in Spanish and it was interesting because you have, like,
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I've done a lot of yoga, so you know, basically what's gonna happen, you know?
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But there's some differences.
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Those of you who know me and yoga know that I am not a fan of the bolster.
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I find the bolsters to be disgusting.
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I know they don't wash those covers very often at all, and I know people
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are laying there, sweaty bodies all over those things, and I resist that.
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I do, I resist it.
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And if anybody disagrees with this, you're wrong.
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It's gross.
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I've talked to somebody who works at Yoga Studio and says that the covers don't
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get washed very often of those BOLs.
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So I'm right.
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I'm right.
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people do weird things with bolsters.
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There's all sorts of weird moves straddling, bolsters, like,
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what are we getting into here?
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If that's not being cleaned, like I'm not a germaphobe, but that's gross.
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That's gross.
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I'm sure there's, you know, bacterial scientists out there who would be
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like, well, this isn't even the worst.
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You shouldn't just, I mean, look at the handle of this thing you
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just touched, but I don't care.
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I don't wanna know your school learning stuff.
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I just wanna know what I feel and what I feel is that a bolster is disgusting.
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If you're gonna have a thing like a bolster in any kind of a thing, like
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yoga, even basketball, baseball, whatever, a bolster adjacent thing,
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you need to clean that cover.
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Like all the time for me to be okay with that.
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But again, call me a prude.
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I haven't washed the sheets that I've gotten here.
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I've been here two weeks.
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I haven't washed them once.
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I'm gonna do it tomorrow.
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I will, when I was in Columbus, did it every week, clockwork.
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It was like every weekend, changing the sheets.
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Now I'm just like, I don't fucking care.
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I don't care.
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They're not that dirty.
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Then you read some article on the internet that's like, how often
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should you really wash your sheets?
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And it's almost always like once a week I think this is part of the reason
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I moved to Mexico City is because.
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I wanted to be out of the realm of articles that are like, how
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often should you wash your sheets?
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I almost clicked on an article a couple, was it yesterday in the New York Times?
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It was like the wire cutters picks for best products of the year, and I'm just
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like almost clicked on it instinctually.
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'cause I like the wire cutter.
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I trust it, but I didn't because I'm like, what am I doing?
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You just got rid of.
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So much stuff and you're like, oh, but what's the best
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new stuff that I could have?
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Uh, I did buy a new shower head today because the shower head here
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in this apartment is untenable, and it was, it's like $20.
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So.
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You know what?
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I'll leave it here.
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I'm like, uh, Johnny Apples sea of shower heads.
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You know, I, everywhere I go, I upgrade shower heads.
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I've upgraded many girlfriends shower heads, and, and I've
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upgraded several apartment and house shower heads just left them.
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I'm not Who's gonna bring a shower head with them?
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They're not expensive.
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A shower head is an upgrade in your life that most people don't realize is.
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A solid, solid upgrade.
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I remember I was dating this one woman and I, the first time
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I took a shower at her house.
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I was like, like thinking like, what on earth?
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This is not even a shower head.
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I don't even know how to describe it.
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It was not a spray even, it was just like a, like a. Strangely
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shaped jet of water at my person.
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So I got her a new shower head.
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And I mean, women, I don't think care about Showerheads because, or maybe it's
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just me that cares about Showerheads.
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But another girlfriend got her a new shower head, changed her life,
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got her daughters under shower head, changed their life, one that
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could be used to clean their dog.
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Look at me.
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So anyway, I bought a new shower head for this place.
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The only issue that I'm gonna have is like, I don't have a wrench,
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so I don't know how I'm gonna install that, so I might have to
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buy a wrench too, but whatever.
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It's worth it.
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Like a bidet, a shower head is an upgrade that most people don't realize they
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wanted or needed until they have it.
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And then they're like, how did I ever live without this?
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All right.
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I think that's all for now.
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It is.
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It is all for now.
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it's Sunday night, and it's been a bit of a tricky weekend.
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It's been like the weekend of, of, inevitable
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feelings of isolation and, and loneliness and like.
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Honestly, like shock in a way of like, what, what, what am I doing?
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Or what have I done?
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Which is inevitable, you know?
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it's part of the, part of the path, right?
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It's part of getting outta that comfort zone.
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It's the discomfort, you know?
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But I have only been here two weeks and I do have people here, you know?
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so it's not as if I'm completely on my own out here as I was in
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Korea, and I don't know, looking back, I'm like, how did I do that?
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How did I have the tenacity at 29 years old to go to Korea by myself?
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Not knowing a single person there
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to teach English for two years, but I did and I made a lot of friends there.
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And by the time I left, I had a really good social life.
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So, so there it is.
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Um,
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Interestingly, the internet does not like me spelling my
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name with one F here in Mexico.
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I think perhaps because JEF means.
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Boss.
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Well, JEFE means boss.
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El Jefe.
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That's the only reason I can think of that
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it would do it.
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'cause on Amazon it's, I mean, I've noticed it on several websites,
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like it's adding an F to my name and I've changed nothing.
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It's kind of puzzling, to be honest, this has never happened
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before in my entire life.
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It's like Mexico doesn't like m e spelling my name with one F. Maybe
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it's confusing their systems or something, but it comes and goes too.
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Like sometimes I'll go onto Amazon or whatever site.
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It'll be like two F Jeff and sometimes it'll be one F. So
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anyway, an interesting little, I don't know, thing that I noticed.
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And another thing, you know, people talk about, I think the
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dogs in Mexico City, Los Perros.
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And it really is a thing.
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There are lots of dogs in Mexico City, and I like dogs, but in my
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building in which they're, I think five apartments, I think maybe six,
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two of them I believe have dogs.
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And sometimes they're great.
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But sometimes they bark a lot.
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They bark a lot.
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And, You know, it's pretty sturdy, thick wall apartment
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building, so it's not terrible.
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But sometimes it is and it's really annoying.
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But
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yeah, there's a lot of dogs here.
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There's a park, where there's just like a whole dog park there.
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A huge dog park and you can go there and watch the dogs play for hours.
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Super fun.
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That's a magical park.
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It's the park in Condesa, the, the park in Condesa with the art
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deco and the meditation areas.
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Anyway, great Park.
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I'll wrap up with this.
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The way my hot water works, and I think a lot of people's hot
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water works in Mexico is puzzling.
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there's water heaters, of course, but they're different than the ones in the
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US and I'm not entirely sure how or why they're different, but when I stayed
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at Patricia's, hers was definitely.
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Strange.
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You could like hear it making a noise when it was on, but it was always kind of
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haphazard to whether you would necessarily get very hot water in her shower.
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Here, I'll get hot water in the shower.
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The knobs reversed.
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In fact, every one of my faucets, it's kind of a crapshoot.
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I should put letters because some, like, I think the kitchen one has
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the wrong side is hot and whatever.
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Anyway.
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The hot water for some reason comes from this courtyard that's like in, you
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know, it's more like a shaft, right?
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That's in the area.
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Like my bathroom overlooks it and it goes all the way down to the
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bottom of the apartment building.
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But when I turn my hot water off, it makes this giant slamming sound
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like two or three stories down in this little chasm or whatever.
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And it's loud.
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Like at first I didn't know what it was, but then I think the owner of
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this place came and told me, or his son said that that's the hot water.
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And I don't know if that's how it's supposed to sound, but the other night.
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I went in to wash my face before I went to bed, and I turned the
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hot water on to wash my face and it was, I don't know, 1130 or 12.
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And you know, I turned it off and there was a, you know, the giant banging sound.
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And then I heard something, somebody stirring in one of the apartments below
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me and I thought, oh, did I just wake this person up because I turned off that water?
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That's weird, right?
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And when I moved into this place the hot water tap in the
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bathroom sink was turned off.
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And I'm wondering if it was because it was disturbing the people below.
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I don't know.
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But they turned it back on.
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And then I started thinking, was this person below me hate me?
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'cause I'm always using the hot water and it's making the slamming sound.
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I don't think anybody else's hot water makes a slamming sound like this.
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I don't know.
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I don't know what the story is there.
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Very strange.
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One more thing actually.
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I still have yet to take my garbage out.
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The landlord took it out once, I think, 'cause I couldn't possibly.
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But yeah, I've got like a bag of garbage I've gotta take out.
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And the way the garbage works is, I think I said, is you hear this dinging
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bell and then you go out and take your garbage out and give them money.
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But like I've heard this dinging bell so many times.
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And then I look out the window, which looks out to the street, and I
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don't see any garbage truck anywhere.
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And I don't want to go out with a bag of garbage, just wandering around like
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an idiot looking for a garbage truck.
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Like it's confusing, and I think it was Saturday all day I heard bells and
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I'm like, where is the garbage truck?
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So I never, I never threw it away that yesterday.
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Today though.
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I heard it again and then I look out and there is the garbage truck like
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flying by, like not even slowing down.
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Like how is a person supposed to get out there fast enough to like, I don't know.
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I'm sure there's a system to this.
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I don't quite understand it yet, but it's weird and once I get the hang
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of it, I'm sure I'll love it because you know, there's no garbage cans in
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the streets and that's great, but.
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Right now I gotta get this garbage out and like I'm in my place to send for ringing
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bells all the time and looking around like a, like a paranoid schizophrenic.
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Like, oh, there's the bells.
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The bells.
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Yeah.
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Like c chalk that up under, like, one of the things I did not expect to, be
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different or difficult when I came to Mexico City, but you know, you never know.
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Also food goes bad much quicker because there's not as many preservatives in it.
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Sleep tight American, sleep tight.
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United States have a good time.
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Enjoy your mega processed foods.
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Seriously, the bananas go like, there's nothing in bananas, but the bananas
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here even, even go right faster.
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So maybe 'cause it's closer, I don't know what they do.
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Maybe they do something to American Bananas or United States bananas,
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which is a whole nother thing.
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What do I call myself?
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American.
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Okay.
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I gotta go to bed or no.
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What I need to do is I need to prepare to go to bed.
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It's interesting when you move to another country, the people who you
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least expect to hear from, like you least expect to get a phone call or
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FaceTime from are the people that you end up like, and it's not a bad thing.
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It's actually kind of wonderful because it's like, oh,
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I'm so glad that this person, I did not have any expectation.
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Like some people you expect right?
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Then oftentimes, not oftentimes, but sometimes they will
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let you down in that way.
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Like the people that you most expect to keep in touch with are the ones
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that often don't, but then the ones that you don't expect to even hear
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from again, are the ones that you,
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and that's beautiful, really.
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In a way.
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There's something lovely about it.
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There's also something to be said for like, you never know
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who really cares about you.
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I went to Walmart today.
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Walmart Express is what they call these smaller Walmarts that
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they have here in Mexico City.
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I hate Walmart.
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I hate the concept of it.
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I hate everything about it.
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Everybody does, right?
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Of course.
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The last time I was in a Walmart was in the United States of America,
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and this was Christmas circa,
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I don't know, 2002, 2003, and it was a last minute.
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Walmart was open till midnight or 24 hours, so it was like
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a last minute gift, like.
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Scramble and it was like Calcutta in there.
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No offense to Calcutta, of course I've never been, but I've
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heard and I've seen the videos.
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It seems very, you know, crowded and frantic.
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That's my comparison there.
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That's all.
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It was like Calcutta in that Walmart and, uh, but Calcutta with, rural white
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people, you know, like, you know, and me.
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Anyway.
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Walmart in Mexico City.
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It's somewhat similar, it's mostly Americans because Americans are like,
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oh, I recognize the name of Walmart.
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You know, it's like people who go to, uh, Applebee's in Times Square.
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Right?
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It's the same phenomenon, I think.
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Anyway, Walmart and it's overpriced.
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There was a tub of Faye yogurt, plain Faye yogurt, the larger tub.
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I think it was 2% or 5%, whatever it was, like $15.
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So I didn't buy that.
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Chobani was like a third of the price, but we can all be honest
20:08
about Greek yogurt quality and say
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Chobani fucking sucks, there's a reason it's cheap.
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It's a low end Greek yogurt.
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I am not trying to get sponsorship from you.
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Chobani trying to get Faye money.
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Faye, I'm here for you if you need me to help you promote your product.
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I'm a big fan, not a big fan, but a fan Enough to, you know, my mom also,
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she loves your blueberry yogurt.
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She loves the, you know, the side by side thing.
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Big fan.
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So there's two family members who enjoy your yogurt and one has a podcast.
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So you tell me what we should do next.
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Faye.
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Or is it Fge?
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Or is it faggy?
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Oof.
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I think it's Faye.
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It's gotta be, I think it says in the container, doesn't it?
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It's pronounced Faye.
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Because I bet they had like a PR problem.
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People would be like, gimme some of that Faggy yogurt.
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And they're like, uh, we should put a little, you know, somebody in marketing.
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It's like, what if we put a little bitty note that says how to
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pronounce the name of the yogurt?
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'cause it is a confusing word, sir. CEO, whatever.
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Anyway.
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Walmart, I did buy yogurt.
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Chobani, the cheap shit.
21:18
What else did I get?
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Oh, fabric softener.
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But I dunno if I'm gonna use that.
21:23
I don't know if I'll use that.
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I don't really understand.
21:27
Liquid fabric softener, to be honest, I don't get it.
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I've never used it in my life, but I feel like the circumstance that
21:35
I'm in with no dryers, I think this is what it's for, isn't it?
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I guess we'll find out.
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'cause I got a big bottle of fabric softener now, liquid fabric
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softener, and I cannot wait to.
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Put in the compartment on the washing machine.
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On the roof of my apartment building.
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And yes, I'll be honest, I did feel somewhat dirty and disgusting
22:01
shopping at Walmart in Mexico City.
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There's a lot of Walmarts in Mexico City is the thing.
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But in this Walmart, it was not a big Walmart.
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It was a Walmart Express.
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It was smaller and there were definitely like, it was half Americans
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or, well, no, I'll say Americans.
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Should we get the feta cheese?
22:23
Should we get the feta?
22:24
Did you get the feta cheese?
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Oh, there's not a lot of salads here.
22:28
Mm. Look at all the tortillas.
22:32
Oh my God.
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Do you wanna get some salsa?
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Let's get some salsa.
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Uh, oh my God.
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The yogurt's $15.
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Oh my God.
22:47
Oh, they sell tequila Here.
22:48
Look, honey, let's get some tequila.
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Okay.
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That's all.
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But I was there.
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I was amidst it.
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I just didn't speak.
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I just remained silent throughout the experience until the very end when I
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said, you know, grass, yes, for the guy to bag my groceries or whatever.
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It's difficult moving to a country that you don't really speak the language.
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And I am going to, I mean, I have to find a language teacher.
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It's just, there's so many options.
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Number one, and I don't wanna do virtual, but it seems like
23:22
that's probably the way to do it.
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Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
23:25
Who cares?
23:26
Nobody cares what you're talking about.
23:28
Jeff.
23:28
This is stupid.
23:29
Talk about Mexico City.
23:30
Don't talk about your dumb language lessons.
23:32
Well, I'll talk about the fact that it's 1130 and I have to go to
23:35
bed because I have to get up early because I've got a cleaning person
23:39
coming tomorrow, and I thought,
23:44
when I've gotten cleaning people in the United States, they bring all their own
23:47
stuff, the vacuum cleaner, all the things they bring, all that, all that crap.
23:51
But apparently here they do not.
23:53
They rely on you to have all the stuff, which I suppose
23:56
is why it's so inexpensive.
23:58
But I don't have all that stuff.
24:01
Like I don't, I don't have a mop, I don't think, you know, I
24:04
don't have a broom or anything.
24:06
There's some spray bottles under the sink that are just unlabeled,
24:09
so I don't know what that is.
24:10
Who knows?
24:11
Maybe you can tell by the color.
24:13
I don't know.
24:15
But.
24:17
When I found out that I needed to have all this stuff, I kind of panicked this
24:20
afternoon and I was like, what do I do?
24:22
So I like messaged patric.
24:23
I was messaging the, cleaning lady.
24:26
I'm like, do I need to have this stuff?
24:28
Like, how do I get this stuff?
24:29
I'm having trouble getting rid of my garbage at this point.
24:32
So like trying to get all this stuff is like a lot, it's a lift because I
24:38
still haven't gotten rid of the garbage.
24:40
I'm hoping that.
24:41
The cleaning people will get rid of the garbage, some magic of some sort.
24:44
They'll just be like, boom, it'll be gone.
24:47
That would be amazing to me I had to buy new garbage bags because one of
24:52
the garbage bags that's been in the hallway for about a week and a half now.
24:56
I picked it up and it had been leaking, so there's like a leak on the floor.
24:59
So that's gotta be cleaned up by the cleaning people tomorrow.
25:02
Of course.
25:02
Am I right?
25:03
At least I got something to do, but again, I have no mop.
25:05
So how are they gonna do that on their hands and knees?
25:07
No, they're not gonna do anyway.
25:10
Uh, it was leaking, so I thought, well, I have to get new bags, but I had
25:13
bought garbage bags already, but I had bought the wrong size, you know, small.
25:18
Garbage bag black in Mexico City is much smaller than small in Amer United States.
25:26
So I got large and the large garbage bags are about the size of the mediums.
25:30
I guess this is a thing, you know, like a large drink in Mexico City is
25:35
like a small in America, and that's why everybody in America is so obese.
25:41
Because portion sizes are so large.
25:47
I don't know.
25:48
I don't know.
25:49
Anyway, here I am in Mexico City.
25:52
I've been here for 15 or 16 days and I'm doing well.
25:58
All things considered.
26:00
I'm doing better than I thought I would be doing at this point.
26:04
So that's good.
26:05
And that's the end of this dispatch.
26:09
I ran the name by AI and AI said that dispatch was a
26:12
bad word for the name of it.
26:14
I was like, fuck you ai.
26:16
Fuck you, Claude.
26:18
Claude was like, your name is too boring.
26:21
I don't know what the word was.
26:22
It used, but basically it was like boring.
26:23
And then it was like, call it Mexico City Notes.
26:27
And I'm like, you think that's not boring?
26:29
That's the lamest name I've ever heard in my life.
26:31
So that was a good time.
26:35
That was a good time.
26:36
Why do I get so angry at artificial intelligence?
26:41
I'm not the only one.
26:42
You know who you are.
26:43
You know, you've all gotten pissed off at it and gotten in
26:45
a dumb argument with a computer.
26:48
You're lying.
26:49
You have, you have,
26:51
I try to catch my AI in lies and I'm like, what am I doing with my life?
26:56
What am I doing this for?
26:57
There's no winner here at all.
27:00
There's only a big, big, big fat loser.
27:03
And that loser is me.
27:05
That loser is Jef Taylor living in Roma, sir, here in Mexico City.
27:09
He's in Mexico City and he's inside his apartment arguing
27:13
with an artificial intelligence.
27:15
What are you doing, Jef?
27:17
What on earth are you doing
27:20
is an adjustment period.
27:21
It's adjustment.
27:23
And before I go, I really wanna tell you, I'll put a picture in the Patreon of
27:29
this, the ceiling light fixtures in the bedrooms of my apartment are so bizarre.
27:38
They're very out of place.
27:40
There was a joke I had years ago with a friend of mine about having like
27:44
a person who was totally into like nautical theme, like had a whole house.
27:47
It was nautical theme with like, you know, fucking anchors and big old steering
27:53
wheels and whatever else, and rope.
27:55
Anyway, these ceiling lights in this apartment are a nautical theme for sure.
28:02
It's rope, it's like, you know, big, thick rope with bulbs, but nothing else.
28:09
The entire apartment is nautical, adjacent even.
28:18
And that's all.
28:19
That's all I'm gonna say this week.
28:24
Uh, what an ending though.
28:25
Talking about the old light fixtures.
28:28
Good stuff.
28:29
Good stuff.
28:29
Jef.
28:31
This episode's called Light Fixtures.
28:34
And if there's a light fixture company that would like me to sponsor, I'd
28:39
be happy to help you, especially if your name is Light Fixtures.
28:42
If there's a company out there called Light Fixtures that actually sells
28:46
light fixtures, absolutely reach out.
28:50
My phone number is in the show notes.
28:52
There's also an email, onefjefpod@gmail.com.
28:57
Light fixtures.
28:58
I'm a big fan.
29:01
I gotta go.
29:01
I gotta go see if lightfixtures.com is taken.
29:06
I'll see you next week.