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Fearless Conversations: Navigating Oral Sex in Relationships · The Diva Details

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Welcome to the Diva Details. Welcome to the Diva Details.
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We're bold, confident women, and break life on a politic green.
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From love and sex to wellness and reinvention. We keep it raw, real, and powerful.
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Music.
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No filters, no limits.
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Just fearless conversations to help you thrive. Let's dive in with Diva Mia and Diva Cat.
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Well, hello. Today we're going to be discussing oral sex, Kat.
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What do you think about that? Oh, that sounds so fun. I'm ready.
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Well, let's talk about oral sex with a man first. So like a woman going down, as you will, with a man.
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There's so many podcasts out there right now with men talking about how they
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need to have blowjobs more often.
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They need women to go down on them more often. So I thought we would to discuss
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it from a woman's perspective so that other people can see how we think as well.
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So what do you think about giving a blowjob or going down on a man?
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Do you enjoy it? I like it. You like it? Do you enjoy it, though?
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I have to say, though, it depends who you are, but from my perspective,
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I do not enjoy it, but my husband likes it, and he loves it, so I do it. Okay.
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So how often do you say you do it? Every time we have sex, we always start with our sex.
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For him or on you? Well, he's on me first, but actually, I don't like to do
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it, but I like getting it. Isn't it sad?
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Well, here's some statistics for you. So for men in their 30 to 39 range,
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69% of men report having given a woman oral sex while only 59% of women have.
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So women are giving oral sex less than men are.
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See, I'm at one of the percent of it. So almost 70% ladies will give it,
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and about 60% of women are giving it.
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So there's a statistic for you, and that's from, I believe, Cora.
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Yeah, it's not as popular as we think.
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No, I like giving it just because, you know, your partner like it and to pleasure
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each other, like the word full place, right?
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So we always started with the oral sac, but to tell you the truth,
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I like getting it more than I like giving it. Well, I have also run into men
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that don't like receiving it. See?
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It does happen, just like there are some women that don't like to receive it.
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And, you know, for women, I think it's because, honestly, I think it's because
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maybe the man doesn't know what she's doing or what he's doing. Yeah.
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But I think sometimes women don't know what they're doing either.
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So that's what we're going to kind of address today.
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Hopefully help them along the way. But oral sex is an important part of sex, right?
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Definitely. Because that's how we always start. I don't know about others,
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but I think it's important you have to start somewhere.
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You do. It's foreplay, right? Right.
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All right. So let's go on with oral sex on a man. So for me,
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if a man is not clean down there, maybe if he came out from working out or he's not taking a shower,
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to me, if it's stinky down there, probably it's the same for men on
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women but if a man is stinky down there it's not attractive I
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can't do it so I mean I can it's just I'm not
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going to be happy doing it and then the other thing is if they're
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really hairy yeah and if I get hair in the back of my throat to me that's like
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not a fun no no yeah hair it's a no-no the hair is a no-no so I know a lot of
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women are do Brazilian but I have seen a couple men here and there that have
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shaved it off before they wanted to have moral sex. So it's kind of fair is fair.
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I think the bottom line, I think you have to keep it clean, no?
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Yeah. The other thing is hair makes it kind of stinky. Hair makes it sting.
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And the hair, especially, you don't know what's caught in there. Especially, oh no.
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Get tangled up. Oh no. No. It has to be clean on both ends, men and women.
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Yeah. So a man, just clean it up. Basically, make sure that it's clean and that
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you're taking care of business down there?
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Because women don't want to smell odor down there, just like I'm sure men don't
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want to smell odor either. Same goes with women.
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Yeah, but let's keep on the men. So practicing oral sex.
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Have you ever practiced giving a man oral sex, like with a banana or something?
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No. Never? I never do it. I never practice it.
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The first thing I did, it just with my partner. Okay. So some women I know have
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practiced giving oral sex with a banana,
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but I'm sure a guy would allow you to practice on him
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as long as you say look i'm new to this i want to try this
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out see if you like it one of the things that i know from
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giving oral sex is every guy is different every
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guy likes different things like some men really want you to deep throat right
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and go back and it like almost swallow the thing whole other men like to feel
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a little bit of teeth not a lot of teeth ladies believe me just like a little
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it's very sensitive like a like on the tip like Just feel a little bit of teeth
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on the tip. Gosh, we're really getting into this today, aren't we?
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I will see your lips moving.
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Other men want you to play with their balls, and some men don't. Yes, some men don't.
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So oral sex, from that perspective, there's different things and different ways that men like it.
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Yeah, I think I'm not going to pretend like, you know, I actually did watch
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the porno tape on doing oral sex. Did you?
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Yeah, we both did. And what did they explain on that?
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They don't explain, they just do it. There's no talking there. Oh, okay. Yeah.
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So you kind of like watching it and see how they do it, and you just tried it out.
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It's a little slurpy, isn't it? Yeah, and you just have to, like,
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communicate with your partner.
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Yeah. See how you like it. And here's the funny thing is sometimes men last,
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and sometimes men a minute or two later, they're done.
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They're done. They was like, oh, no, I'm coming. You know what I mean?
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And then you don't want that.
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You want to. Yeah, and ladies, if you're dating men in the 50 range,
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you may not want to give oral sex if you're expecting to have intercourse.
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Because they might be done for the night. Oh, that is so true.
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If men over 50, yeah, if you want to keep going, don't start with that.
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Yeah, a woman can have multiple orgasms, but a man. A man, yeah,
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it takes them a while, especially after 50.
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Oh, no, I know. You have to wait for the next two days.
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I don't know. No, it's not that bad.
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It might not be until the next morning, but they're done for a while.
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Yeah, they're done for a while, you know. Yeah. Yeah, so if you want to keep
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continuing or if you date the men after 50s, yeah, don't do the oral sex.
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Do something else. And, you know, if you're going to go for the intercourse,
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otherwise you're not going to get there.
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For us, we have multiple orgasms easily.
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For men, no. I have found that the best oral sex you will ever give a man is
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if you have them talk to you while you're doing it.
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Is it really? And you ask them exactly what they want and exactly how they like it.
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And if they don't tell you right away, just do something and say,
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do you enjoy that? And then try something else.
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And then eventually they will open up and tell you exactly what they want.
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And then you will be the best oral sex they've ever had. What if you ask them
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and they say, surprise me, then what do you do?
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Then I would still, I would do something and ask them if they enjoy that.
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Because the reality is, is that ladies, men do a lot of stuff to women that
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we don't like and we just take it.
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But if we were actually more communicative in bed and told them what we enjoyed,
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we would find more pleasure, too. So I think men find more pleasure.
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Some men want to be, some men want to actually be bit a little harder than I would bite someone.
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Some men want to be flicked. Some men want to be licked. Some men want to be sucked.
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It just depends on the man, right?
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Communication is the key. You have to open communication. Some men want to be
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fast. Some men want to watch. That is so true.
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Some men don't want to watch. Here comes the polls. Yeah, exactly. Some people...
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They want to see it. Some people don't want to see it. Yeah,
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I think communication, like the bedroom talk, I think is very important.
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I think it's important while you're actually, especially, you don't have to
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ask them every time, ladies.
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But they're enjoying themselves, but you think they could enjoy themselves more,
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or you care about their feelings and you want to know.
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Once or twice, you say, do you enjoy this? And then if you try something new, do you like that?
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Just be very, you know, expressive and talk to them. And then if they realize
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that you care more, and I will say most of the men do like to watch.
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Yeah. Yeah, but see, I mean, like I said, I've been with the same men for 25 years.
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At this point, we kind of know what each other like, you know.
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You just have to pressure each other.
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Well, I'm new to the dating scene, and I will say that he just wanted to have
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sex and then shower. And shower and done.
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Yeah, it was the strangest thing. Yeah. But then another man was like,
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yeah, nonstop. So it was like, it was good.
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So it just depends on... I'm learning from you a lot, actually. It depends on the guy.
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Depends on the guy. And that's why I also say you need to ask them what they
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enjoy and how they like it. Because some guys don't really care if you go really deep.
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They just want you to play with their tip. And other guys want you to swallow
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the whole shaft and everything all together in one swell swoop.
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And some just want you to keep it deep.
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And some people want you to go fast. And some want you to go slow.
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So you just never know exactly what they want. Some want you to play with their
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ball. Some don't want you to touch their balls. Yeah.
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Some want you to feel above the shaft. Some very insecure about the shaft,
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too, though. Yes. They do. Well, yes.
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And we did talk last time about size.
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Size, yeah. Size matters, too. I mean, if a guy's too long, you can't swallow
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the whole thing anyway without the gag reflex.
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It's so true. And it would be bad if you threw up on a guy. I'm just saying. Yeah, no.
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So don't swallow it too much. So don't do it. Don't gasp and don't throw up
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on it. That will be like a whole turn off.
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Don't go too far into your throat that it actually forces you to throw up because
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that has happened with people in the past. Oh, my God.
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Not me, but, you know. I need to start watching all this.
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Just to learn. I'm going to turn you into a porn star.
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I've been in the hood for way too long. You've been, well, now we're learning all kinds of things.
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Now that we're talking about men and sex, let's talk about kind of some slang terms for men.
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So everybody knows about going down on a man, giving a blowjob,
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playing the flute. Playing the flute, that's new.
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Smoking the pole. That is new. Suck or suck my dick or suck me off or suck my
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cock or suck someone else's cock.
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Suck it off. I mean, suck is kind of defined at all.
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Wow. I did not know there's so many languages of slang out there.
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Blowjob is, I think, a big one. Yeah.
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But I think, you know, like Galatio, some people say.
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Blowjob. I think those are the main. Giving head. Giving head.
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Yeah. Those are the main. Chopping up. Look at that. Slob knob. Yeah.
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Something about a Becky, too. What is that? Oral pleasure. Oral stimulation. Immolation.
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Those are kind of some of the slang terms that I think people will relate to oral sex.
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Knap job. Bill Clinton. That's a good one.
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Sorry, Bill. Bite job.
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Nibble on me. I mean, I've heard that before. Come nibble on me.
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So there's different terms that I think you and your partner will probably develop
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your own slang for. but those are some of the kind of common ones.
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But, I mean, you may have, like, a lot of people will name their private parts.
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Private parts. Like, do you have a name for yours?
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No. Oh, I have a name for mine. You do? I do. You want to know what it is?
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I have a name for my sourdough starter, though. Do you have a name for his?
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Yeah. What's the name for his? Can you share? Black kid. Black kid.
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Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. That's the name of his dog, huh? Uh-huh. Wow, girl.
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I had such a cross on him. I don't know why. And now you have him in your mouth. I'm telling you.
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When we were in Italy, I even do the scene looking for Brad Pitt. Oh, no. Yes.
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I name anything that needs to be named and name it Brad Pitt.
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Anything that needs to be named is Brad Pitt.
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So that's pretty hilarious. Mm-hmm.
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I think my husband also knows too that Brad Pitt was a BP. BP.
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BJ is a BP. BJ is a BP. Or BP is a BJ.
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Oh, my God. When we first moved to Connecticut, there's a grocery store named
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BJ. I was like, are you serious? Let's go check it out.
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Yeah, you know, every time I drive by In-N-Out Burger, you know what I think of. Yeah.
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So you want to boost up, you may never know what happened in In-N-Out parking
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lot. You never know. You never know.
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So since we are in a texting, a sexting world, there's all kinds of things that
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you need to learn about texting.
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I thought everybody kind of knows the eggplant means penis, right?
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Yeah. So if you put the tongue picture in front of the eggplant,
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that means you want to give them oral sex.
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The tongue picture is kind of fun. Yeah. What about the pointing fingers?
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Well, the pointing finger and an okay means you want to have intercourse.
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Ah, that's right.
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Yeah, that's like the old five-year-old. Look at the sweat drop.
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The sweat drop's more for wet. You're making me wet or you want to have sex.
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But it can be, I guess, for orgasm. You could also use a bone for a penis,
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not just the emoji of the... And I heard grapes is also common for penis.
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I thought grape was for the balls. For the balls. Okay, well, then you could do...
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Bananas. Tongue, purple eggplant, and then the grapes...
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Which means that if a guy sends that to you, that means they want you to give
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them oral sex and lick their bones.
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Ah, there's a whole new different language. It's a whole language.
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You could even do the drooly face. Yeah. I learned something new today.
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And here's the thing. What is the rhino for? The rhino is for, it just means I'm horny.
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So that's not really oral sex. But you can also do a hot pepper.
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Okay. That just means you're like ready to go. You're hot for them.
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But I learned that the eggplant is not supposed to be used unless you're well endowed.
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Is it really? Yeah. There's actually other things like the bone,
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if you have a boner or something like that. But the eggplant is actually for someone that's thick.
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Really? And all these thin little boys are using it.
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I have a boner and I want it licked. I mean, that's the thing, too, with the tongue.
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The tongue emoji is kind of fun because you can use it for all different kinds
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of things. You can use it for men. You can use it for women.
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But we'll come back. You could change all the colors, too.
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Let's just transfer to women. So since we're talking about texting,
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let's move on to women texting.
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So here's one that I was confused in, and it may just be my generation that I didn't realize.
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I thought the peach was the woman's vagina.
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No, it's a butt. It's a butt. I know. I'm telling you, don't be sending the
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butt. They're going to think I want anal sex.
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I know. I had no idea. I thought the peach was.
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No, the peach is your bun. It is. And if you stick a finger next to the peach,
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that means you want to stick a finger in your butt.
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Yeah, you have to be careful with that. Yeah. So for a woman,
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you can use the tongue with sweat droplets.
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You can use the tongue with a bite in your lip. That means you're ready to go.
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What about the drool face?
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The drool face. The biggest one is the tongue with the taco.
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That means you want oral sex. Ah.
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Because the taco is defined as a woman down there, too. Yeah.
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Every time I hear a man say they like tacos, I'm like, which kind of tacos?
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Are we talking the pink taco or are you talking the my taco?
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You know, because pink taco is also defined as.
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Oh, my God. I would never look at the taco the same way. Yeah.
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So when you're on dating apps and you see all these men saying,
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I want to talk, I love tacos.
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I don't know if they say they're loving tacos because they want to do oral sex
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on a woman or if they actually truly love tacos. They want to love tacos.
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Yeah. And if they say pink taco, it's definitely they want to eat a taco. Ah.
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It's code. So for ladies that are on the dating sites, if you're seeing men
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say, I want to eat a pink taco, they're wanting to eat somebody out.
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How about a pink hot dog? That means, okay, so hot dogs is actually anal sex. Isn't it?
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Yeah, hot dogs is where you actually stick a penis in a butt. Oh, no.
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So, yeah, honeypot can be the vagina or down there or your kitty cat, obviously. Obviously.
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So you could have a kitty cat with a tongue, but that's kind of weird.
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Honestly, I think that's weird. But I think the tongue and the honeypot would
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be fine, or the tongue and the taco. That's a camel.
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You can do the tongue and the camel if you want to, like, you say,
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I want to hump you. But I've also seen camels for breasts. For breasts.
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So you want your boobs licked. So that's another thing.
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Or you can do tongue and, you could do tongue with the shower with the taco
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and an eggplant saying, I want to have oral sex with you in the shower.
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What if on the other side, the person who texts misinterpret what you do?
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Well, that's an explanation for you and them, but I mean, these are kind of
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the things that are out there.
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If you put a pointy finger and an okay sign, that means you just want to have intercourse.
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And then if you do eggplant and the peach, that means you want to get down to
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business. And if you do the clapping hands and the peach, it means you want your butt slapped.
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A donut and a banana. That means you're in the mood for some anal sex. Anal sex.
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The donut is actually the chocolate donut.
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I would never look at taco or donut the same way ever again.
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Yep. The chocolate donut is anal sex. Oh, my God.
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So if you want to play with your partner and you want to do oral,
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it's the tongue, the taco, and the water droplets. That's oral sex right there.
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I should text my husband to see he knows what I'm talking about.
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I'm going to give you a test. And the tongue, the eggplant, and the water drops
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is giving someone a blowjob. Some vulnerable jobs.
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So now that we know those and we're up to date, ladies, that's kind of important.
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Just because with today's dating.
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Peach and a clapping hand. That's smacking somebody's butt.
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So now that we're up to date with all of the. How about peach and a telephone?
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That means you want to have phone sex.
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Or quick sex. Yeah. But now that we're up to date on our emojis,
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because it's kind of important to know what people are saying.
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I get sex emojis from different people or I've gotten them in the past and I
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didn't know what people were saying. I knew that it was, you know,
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sexual, but I really didn't think that the people...
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Your butt. I thought it was your vagina. Some people refer it to as a vagina,
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but 90% of the people use it as your butt.
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And now we're going to talk about a man going down on a woman.
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This is probably going to last the longest, really, because I think this is
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the topic that everybody wants to know about. So it's also known as muff diving.
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I've heard that a lot. Muff diving? Muff diving.
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Oh, wow. You know how you have a muffin top? It's kind of like they're diving for Moffin. Yeah.
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Oh, I never heard that. Yeah. Men are more likely to go down on a woman than
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a woman to go down on a man, which I was shocked.
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So we saw 69% of men will go down on a woman. Yeah.
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59% of women go down on men. Oh, yeah. I think the biggest reason is it's the best oral sex, right?
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Right. And a lot of women don't get off with regular intercourse,
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at least with their first.
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So there was a study. I don't remember when it came out, but
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they were talking about women female orgasms and
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a woman needs to have or outside stimulation and
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a lot of times oral stimulation doesn't have to be doesn't have to be external
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stimulation first and have an orgasm there
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before they might even have an internal orgasm and a lot of
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women don't even know that oh wow i don't yeah so
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you may not you may be having intercourse ladies and
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not having orgasms because you weren't externally stimulated first
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you have to stimulate it first massaging under
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all that for fingering massaging let me
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see if i can find that again but and then there's you
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know i mean there are some people that like a little bit of anal fingers here
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and there so you have to remember that genital stimulation is important for
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for women 70 to 80 percent of women okay require their clitoral stimulation
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to achieve orgasm orgasm so if you
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Men are just going straight for sex and you have a man that does that.
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Maybe you can state this statistic. Now, the stimulation doesn't have to be oral.
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And it doesn't really matter, ladies, if you're excited or wet and you want to have sex.
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If you haven't had external stimulation, you may not have an orgasm at all.
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And here's my personal belief. I don't know what you think, Kat,
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but I think a woman should have at least one orgasm every single time you have an intimate encounter.
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Definitely. Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
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But this is something new, though, that I learned today. Really?
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I taught you something. Yeah, you did.
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Yeah, so. I had to practice. Well, you let them know that, you know,
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you're one of the 80%. And you'll know, ladies, you should know by now that
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if your bodies need you to be stimulated externally before you get stimulated internally.
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And that's the thing is if you get an external orgasm, you're much more likely
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than to have an internal orgasm. Internal orgasm. Okay.
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Yeah. I've learned something new again today. Thank you, Diva Mears.
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You are welcome, Diva Cat.
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Yeah, so just remember that, ladies. If you're having, you know,
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if your partner, your husband, whomever you're dating, if you're just not having
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good sex, it might very well be that you need more external stimulation.
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And you're going to need to have an orgasm. Now, for me, personally,
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since I'm oversharing as always, after I have an external stimulation,
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if the guy goes down on me and I get off, I need 5 to 10, maybe even a minute of a break.
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Of a break? Because my body is like kind of convulsive.
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So I'm like, okay...
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Give me a second. Don't touch me. Don't touch me anywhere. Is there really?
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Oh, my gosh. Yeah. If I have a good orgasm, I don't want him to touch me anywhere.
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You want to keep it with you as long as you did, though. No.
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It's like I'm super hypersensitive.
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Every part of me, my whole body is hypersensitive. It's like tingling. Oh, wow.
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This may just be me. I thought all women were like this. Tell me how you are.
22:11
No, but I like to curl myself up in my blanket. After you had one? Yeah. For how long?
22:17
For like, good, yeah, two, three minutes. So you're the same.
22:20
So after a guy goes down on you, and we're hoping that after this show,
22:24
every guy goes down on their woman personally, 70% is not enough.
22:27
No. Because, you know, and that's men just doing it regular or doing it, period.
22:33
The reality is, is I personally believe that if a guy's going to go down on
22:37
you, you should be able to go down on a guy.
22:39
Yes. So we should increase that. But I think every man should go down on every woman, period.
22:44
I think bottom line that you have to communicate. What you want.
22:47
What you want. Some women don't want to. Maybe that day you didn't clean up.
22:51
Well, that's fine. Go take a shower.
22:53
Yeah. You know what I mean? In fact, I think more people should shower before. Just shower before.
22:58
Regardless, they should be prepared, don't you think? There are so many products
23:02
out there you could do. Oh, yeah.
23:04
There's boric acid that a lot of people are using as suppositories now,
23:08
like vaginal suppositories.
23:10
There's different types of pH balancing and odor eliminating suppositories.
23:15
And most women are full Brazilian now.
23:18
We don't even have hair down there. You'll be surprised.
23:21
You know, here's the thing, guys. If you're dating a woman that's a Brazilian,
23:24
she's going to want oral sex, period.
23:26
Yes. And ladies, if you're dating a guy that's a Brazilian down there and has
23:30
no hair, that means he wants.
23:32
That's a good sign. That's a good sign. Definitely.
23:35
Yeah. Because if a woman's shaved down there, she's expecting something to be
23:39
played with down there, not just wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Yes.
23:43
You could see. I think you could tell by the shave, the sign,
23:46
how they take care of their body.
23:48
If they drop the pen, is all bushy about it? I mean, yeah, no.
23:53
Yeah, if you're bushy down there, don't expect a guy to go down.
23:55
I mean, they might, but they can.
23:58
And, you know, here's the thing, too. I mean, if you've been married for the
24:01
last 25 years. Like me? Yes.
24:04
You may be bushy down there because. Some people get slack off,
24:08
but I don't. And some people actually enjoy the hair.
24:11
So find out. And it's too late for me because I'm lasered.
24:14
But some people actually enjoy the hair down there. or they like the native
24:19
look, if you will. Is it really? Yeah.
24:22
Too late for me. I go to ideal image. Yeah. As long as I can.
24:26
Yeah, I'm lasered on this, so it's too late for me. But I don't like hair in
24:29
the back of my throat when I go down on a man, so I'm assuming a man doesn't
24:32
like hair in the back of his throat when he goes down on me.
24:34
It would be like you see the hair on your plate. And it causes,
24:37
like, for men it makes an odor down there, and I think for women it does too.
24:42
It's just like your beard. When men have a beard and it's untamed and uncared for.
24:47
Their beard has an odor. It caught on, yeah. Yeah, they get food caught in it.
24:52
They get all kinds of stuff. It gets sweat caught on, yeah.
24:54
So that's why I think it's so important to keep it clean down there,
24:58
especially if you're wanting oral sex. Yeah.
25:01
Like, bottom line, if you see a bush down there, you ain't getting it.
25:05
For you. There are some people that may still do that. To me, yeah.
25:10
To me, if you don't clean it up, you're not getting it. Yeah.
25:12
Well, and I have been hearing lately that there's more and more women that are
25:16
unsatisfied with men because they don't do oral sex. I agree.
25:20
Here's the thing. If a guy's not doing oral sex for me, I'm not dating that
25:25
guy. That's how it's thought, no?
25:27
Yeah. Well, and here's the thing. I have dated a couple guys that didn't do
25:31
oral sex. But to me, it's not going to be a relationship because it's so important
25:35
to my sex life to have that part as well that I want to be in a relationship with a man that didn't.
25:42
Yeah, no. All these men are saying, all these women don't want me.
25:45
Well, maybe if you are actually better at oral sex, they might.
25:49
Maybe you don't know the technique. That's why they don't want it to you.
25:52
Maybe you hurt them or maybe you're too rough.
25:55
Maybe you're too rough. I mean, we learn how to treat men and the men should
25:58
learn how to treat women. I think it is a little bit more complicated for a
26:02
man, though. I think so, too, yeah.
26:03
And I know most women enjoy oral sex. If they're telling you they don't,
26:07
you may not be doing it right.
26:09
So if a woman tells a man, hey, I don't like the way you do oral,
26:12
or I don't like oral sex, they may just not like it with you.
26:15
They may have bad experience from the previous partner.
26:18
You know, here's the thing. Men, for oral sex, we're going to give you some
26:21
pointers today, too, if many men are listening.
26:24
I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. So there's different ways to go about
26:28
oral sex for a man on a woman. You ready? I'm ready.
26:31
Okay. So oral sex is kind of like French kissing the vagina.
26:35
If you think about it that way, it's like French kissing a vagina with the clit.
26:40
With the clit. Being the person's tongue. Look at your lip.
26:45
I agree. Right? Yes. Now, it does get a little different because you're also
26:51
going to use your fingers inside the person.
26:54
The person. So you can use your fingers at the same time you're kissing their vagina and
26:59
But it is very similar to kissing the vagina. Now, some women,
27:02
just like some men, like to feel a little bit of teeth.
27:05
They like to be nibbled on. Now, when I say nibble, that doesn't mean bite.
27:08
Although, I don't know, there might be women that enjoy that too.
27:11
But a little nibble down there.
27:13
Yeah, some women like it. The men, when they were down there,
27:16
like I like it when they play with your little nipples.
27:19
Oh, there you go. So playing with the nipples. Man, it is quite,
27:21
it's quite rough for a man. They're going to have to play with your nipples,
27:24
stick the fingers in, while they're rich kissing.
27:27
We want a lot. We are divas. While they're pretty kissing your clitoris.
27:31
So it is a little bit rough around a guy. I'm going to have to give you kudos,
27:34
men, if you're not practiced at this.
27:37
But it might be nice if a guy asks a woman what she likes.
27:42
Just like we ask men, hey, I enjoy or what do you like?
27:45
And they can say, hey, I enjoy it when you nibble on the tip or hey,
27:48
I enjoy it when you deep throat or hey, I enjoy it quicker or whatever.
27:52
I'm not a fan of a man taking my head and pushing it down.
27:56
Not a fan of that. No, no. But I will ask them what they want.
27:59
What do you think about body piercing down there then? Well,
28:02
a lot of women have their tongues pierced for women and for men.
28:06
I mean, there's lesbians that get their tongues pierced because it tickles. It tickles. Yeah.
28:11
And then, you know, there's faster movements for a man. There's slower movements
28:15
that a man can do for a woman. A man shaking his head, a man humming and vibrating just like a vibrator.
28:22
The other thing is, men, you can also, if you're not really into oral sex too
28:27
much, a man can go down for a little bit and then grab a toy.
28:31
That is true. There's nothing preventing a man from using props,
28:36
if you will, because we do realize it takes a little bit longer sometimes for
28:40
women to get off than a man. The prop is help.
28:43
The prop does help. I'm all about it. And at the same time, you actually are
28:48
able to, you know, get a woman off quicker.
28:51
And then once you give her her 30 seconds to two minutes of relief,
28:57
then you can have intercourse after very easily and possibly get your woman
29:00
off again via intercourse. That's it.
29:04
Yeah. And that's multiple orgasms. Wow. If any men are listening to this,
29:09
your woman's going to be very happy.
29:13
You know here's the thing about talking about sex i don't
29:16
think most people are this honest and
29:20
open and there's not a trainer's manual out there unless you
29:22
watch porn and porn is not real well porn is
29:25
not real another thing you do all right there is no trainer manuals
29:28
out there and and a lot of people think they
29:31
watch porn and they think that women just want it rough and here's the
29:34
thing if a guy's too rough with me down there it turns me off so you can be
29:38
rough but not too rough and that's why it's best to have communication too so
29:42
yeah because some women like it rough some women like don't some men do the
29:45
same way too so you have to have open communication you gotta have to the bedroom
29:50
open communication yeah just like everything else,
29:53
And it is crucial to relationships. Oral sex is part of sex.
30:00
I'm shocked that the percentages were actually so low.
30:05
Well, our culture is very conservative. We don't talk about all this stuff.
30:09
And then chances are you might find a guy that's very conservative outside,
30:14
but in the bedroom, that's a whole new story. Yeah.
30:16
So open communication, ladies. Open communication.
30:21
Yep. You got to know what your partner wants. You've got to know what you want from your partners.
30:25
And you've got to know what makes you happy. Yeah. Right? Yes.
30:29
At this day and age, you've got to be happy.
30:32
Yes. So let's talk about slang words for going down on a woman.
30:37
For going down on a woman.
30:39
I'm like giving a woman a hummer. Going down on her beaver. I've heard that.
30:44
Have you heard that beaver? Not a beaver. Eating her taco.
30:47
Tuna tacos. Quite frankly, though, I don't smell that fishy,
30:50
so I don't know why they call it tuna tacos. Why they call it tuna tacos. Fur pies?
30:54
That kind of doesn't work anymore in today's dating.
30:58
So oral sex is, you know, it can be different, different slangs for different things.
31:03
Hummers is a big one because a lot of times when a man goes down on a woman.
31:08
Lady boners. Lady boners. Yeah.
31:10
Give me a lady boner. When a man goes down on a woman, then they hum.
31:14
And that's part of the fun. I mean, that can get a woman off too.
31:20
So there's... Come back to the camel, mochi.
31:25
Yeah. So they want to play with that. They want their tacos eaten, things like that.
31:29
Dining at the Y, I've heard that. But that I thought was more for men,
31:33
but I guess it could be either. I would never look at a taco the same way ever again.
31:37
Muff diving. Eating pussy, we've heard that. Can English.
31:40
Yes. Licking her kitty. Licking her kitty. Giving her oral pleasure.
31:45
Indulging in her nectar. Oh, my God.
31:49
There are so many languages out there. Oral sex on a woman.
31:53
And then tasting her sweetness. Okay, so now I guess. I like that one.
31:56
Now we can talk about the name of mine, since we talked about Brad Pitt.
32:02
So mine's name is Candy.
32:06
Candy, like a candy. Yeah, so I've named mine Candy.
32:10
I had a different name when I was married, but I retired that name when I got divorced.
32:15
I never named mine. You should name yours.
32:18
Okay, everybody, I want you to comment.
32:21
Yes. And let us know what you think diva cats down under should be called.
32:26
Yes. I am open to any suggestion.
32:29
Water hoo-ha. Yes. I'm a 60-year-old woman. Been married for 25 years.
32:34
And she has an active, active sex life.
32:36
And I never named mine. Mm-hmm. It's time. I named his red pit,
32:40
though. I think it's time.
32:41
Ladies, I need your suggestion. All right. Or gentleman.
32:45
Yes, so that we can have him go muck diving into her, whatever it is.
32:49
Whatever it is. I like that. I'm telling you, you got to have a name for that. Huh?
32:53
Why didn't I think of that before? Well, if you're going to name his,
32:56
you might as well name yours. Right? Cannot be Jennifer and Anderson because they don't last.
33:04
Oh, my goodness. So how much oral sex or how much now that you've been married,
33:10
how important is it to your sex life?
33:12
It's very important to me. Very important. Very important.
33:14
Because that's how when we started, you know, you get laid on the moon,
33:19
you know, you put on your nice lingerie and then you go.
33:22
Your oral sex. If he sees his mouth take off your lingerie, right?
33:25
Yeah. Actually, Valentine's coming, lady. You better start shopping.
33:28
Yeah. And practicing men and women. And practicing, yes.
33:32
Valentine's coming. But to us, every day is Valentine's Day.
33:35
Whatever you're in the mood for, you know? So for the past 25 years, yeah.
33:40
But the bottom line is to keep healthy marriage. It's open communication and
33:45
also actively sex, regardless what kind of sex.
33:48
Yeah, and it's important to keep it clean. Keep it clean. Belling nice.
33:52
And oral is always a starter for us. Okay, here's another question.
33:56
Have you given oral sex to a man, had sex with them, and then given them oral
34:00
sex later? So you're basically tasting yourself.
34:04
Oh, I have. You do? I have. And it's not bad at all, ladies.
34:08
So I don't know what men are complaining about because it tastes pretty damn
34:10
good. It tastes pretty damn good? Yeah.
34:12
So after you're done and you gave all those, yeah, you are tasting yourself.
34:16
Yeah. Oh, I know. Because we went for round two.
34:19
Yeah. And there's nothing wrong with it. Now, granted, you need to make sure
34:22
that you don't have any problems down there.
34:24
You should always go for your annuals, ladies, and get your checkups.
34:28
Mine is like, I think my husband needs to look at it because after we have,
34:31
after we're done, it takes him like the next day or maybe next morning.
34:35
Yeah. To have around two.
34:36
It might be, you know, we'll talk in another episode coming up about testosterone
34:40
replacement therapy for men and women and hormones and things like that.
34:45
That's part of our, you know, our lifestyle and health. I mean,
34:48
we have to think about our sexual health is just as important as our mental
34:52
health, our physical health and our financial health and our spiritual health.
34:55
I mean, it's all part. It's a part of it, but I think in the household,
35:00
sexual health is a part of your day life, I think.
35:04
You have healthy sexual life in your household, everything else will follow, I think.
35:09
Yeah, I still have the issue that I don't sleep around with men.
35:12
I have to have some type of major connection with a man before I can't do a
35:17
one-night stand. One-night stand.
35:18
Don't do that. And I need to make sure a man's clean.
35:21
Yeah. Let's move on to anal sex, talking about cleanliness.
35:25
So anal oral. We're not really going to go into anal. So like if you've ever
35:29
had a guy lick your backside, your peach. Have you ever had that? No.
35:36
I have. No, I just think it's gross. I always feel that when it comes to anal,
35:40
that's where you're disposed, discard.
35:43
Well, here's the thing. There's butt plugs for that too and things like that. But I had it happen.
35:50
Not when I was married, but with a guy I dated. and it was actually very pleasurable.
35:56
You were with a butt plug? No, I didn't have a butt plug, but he just went down
36:01
on my backside and it wasn't very long, but I was like, wow. Huh.
36:07
I never experienced that before. So it's called anal kissing.
36:10
I think there's other words for it too, but anal or I have a homework to do today.
36:15
Yeah. So, you know, and not everybody does like their butt fondled, if you will. Yeah.
36:21
I'm not sure I like that, though, but maybe I should try. You know,
36:23
it's fun. And if you're clean.
36:25
Why not, right? Yeah. If you're clean down there and also known as ass kisser
36:30
or anal lingus. Lingus. Yeah.
36:34
Reming. It's also known as reming. I cannot believe how many languages about
36:39
all of these. Apple polisher, back scratcher.
36:42
Some of these are also for anal sex, though, ladies, too. bootlicker oh my um
36:50
scratch something apple polisher back scratcher teacher's pet oh my god.
36:59
How about fawner what is that do what fawner f-a-w-n-e-r yeah fawn on yeah kiss
37:06
ass yeah back scratcher that's fun because a lot of times when they'll kiss your butthole.
37:13
They will also use their fingers to go around and play.
37:16
Now, I'm not an anal sex person, but it was kind of interesting that I'd never
37:20
had that before and I had it once and it was actually not bad. I went for it. Oh, wow.
37:25
And the guy was a very adventurous man and he was much more experienced than I was, obviously.
37:30
And yeah, it was interesting. I've learned something now. I'm going to have
37:34
a homework. It was interesting. Yeah.
37:36
The other thing is I know that a lot of people have been talking about that
37:39
where they do anal or they do that and they just want
37:42
to make sure you're extra clean and haven't eaten recently
37:46
and yeah yeah but yeah it was quite
37:49
interesting huh so again you could use the licking tongue with the peach that's
37:55
another emoji that's that's another emoji tongue and the peach should i put
38:00
the peach in front of the tongue or the tongue after the peach i think it'd
38:03
be tongue and then the peach i guess you could do either.
38:06
I don't know how many people... Watch, if I said to my husband,
38:09
he's gonna think that, oh, she want peach. Go buy the peach!
38:14
He's going to the grocery store. He's going to go to the grocery store instead.
38:20
Yeah, so I would say that anal kissing is different. I have to say knowing you is adventurous.
38:27
All right, so 19% of people out there have had anal sex.
38:32
It's pretty low. That's very low, I know. Yeah, that's heterosexual people. How about anal kissing?
38:39
Anal kissing I haven't found anything on. Yeah, I haven't found anything on.
38:43
Maybe there's a stat out there I can find.
38:45
Anal sexual stimulation, it says
38:47
20% of women or men would engage in anal sexual stimulation on a woman.
38:52
Oh. So, you know, it's not a big thing for me. I'm really not into it.
38:57
But I don't have to have it. Like I need to have oral sex because it's just
39:01
not a huge turn on. But it was an adventure.
39:04
It was an adventure? Was it fun? It was fun. It was enjoyable.
39:07
It wasn't not enjoyable. So it was enjoyable.
39:10
Maybe you could have both. The best of both women. Oh, you know,
39:13
I don't know if I'll go back out with that guy again. He was a little bit too much for me.
39:17
So, yeah. But nonetheless, it's something that we, you know,
39:21
wanted to talk about because there are people that is part of foreplay,
39:23
just like nipples and other things.
39:27
So biting on people's ears and necks.
39:30
Yeah, never know about the part. We have so many square footage to cover.
39:35
So three or four inches into your anus is another G-spot on men and women.
39:40
Oh, wow. And that's why people will use their finger a lot. A lot.
39:45
With, instead of doing anal, because there are a lot of women that have tried
39:48
anal and gotten seriously injured, right?
39:50
You said you had a friend that tried anal sex and started bleeding.
39:54
It got hurt, yes. Yeah, it got hurt really bad.
39:56
So, because women are small everywhere, but smaller. That's true.
40:00
So, yeah, so there is possibility of that, but fingers less likely.
40:05
Mm-hmm. So, now that we're talking about it all, we might as well.
40:08
We have another on the agenda, kissing and no. Yeah.
40:14
You don't have to try it. And you need to make sure everybody's showered and
40:17
cleaned. Yes, no, the cleanness is important. Cleanliness is important. Yeah.
40:22
It's even more important on 801 Radio.
40:25
Even oral. I'm okay if a guy came in from the gym, but I don't want a guy coming in after.
40:31
Yeah, after the bathroom. Number two. Oh, no. That's not working.
40:36
Let's not go there. Okay. Anyway, so oral sex, you need to be careful,
40:40
though, ladies, with STDs.
40:42
You also get STDs from oral sex. You can get STDs, and you can give STDs.
40:46
Now, there are people that have cold sores.
40:49
Something like 80% or 90% of the U.S. population have cold sores. typically oral herpes.
40:56
Now, if you have a cold sore and you go down on someone, you got to be careful.
41:01
I would say I don't see a lot of people with cold sores anymore.
41:03
I don't know if the numbers are decreasing or if people just are getting it
41:07
under control. I don't get it. I don't get it either.
41:10
So, a cold sore is a viral, isn't it? A cold sore is a virus. It does.
41:15
A lot of people have it when they're younger. They kiss somebody that had a
41:18
cold sore in their mouth that they didn't realize and then they get it.
41:21
Now they have cold sores on the outside of their mouth too.
41:23
So you have to be careful. I think personally for me, everybody that you're
41:28
going to be sexually active with should be tested.
41:30
Yeah. I don't think you should be. I don't think we should be spreading sexually transmitted diseases.
41:35
I think at our age, if you're going to be intimate with somebody,
41:38
I think you should have the mature conversation and say, look, I want to get you tested.
41:43
If they say, I don't want to get tested, say, look, I'll pay for it.
41:46
Ladies, pay for it. That way you get the results. Pay for it.
41:49
Order online. You can go to different websites.
41:52
Healthlabs.com is one. There's lots of different online, and they don't even
41:56
have to go to their doctor.
41:58
And you can order a full STD panel. That is true. It's 100% confidential.
42:03
It's confidential. And if you order and pay for it, then you can get an email to you.
42:07
And you just have to get their name, their date of birth, and you can order it.
42:11
And you have them go in and take the test, and then you'll get the results. Oh, wow.
42:16
So as long as they approve of that, because it is a privacy thing,
42:20
they may want to email you the results directly, however you guys work it out.
42:23
But there's a ton of different places you can go. And it's not 100% because
42:28
there's like HPV, I don't believe they test for with the blood test. Never the blood test.
42:33
But most of the sexually transmitted diseases like herpes 1,
42:37
herpes 2, which are the big ones, hepatitis, HIV, some of the ones that,
42:42
you know, chlamydia, gonorrhea, all that stuff that you can get orally, ladies.
42:46
You can get that stuff orally, too. You can have gonorrhea of the mouth.
42:50
That is so true. But that's called both ways, too, though, to the men. To the men as well. Yes.
42:54
So the men can get it as well. So I think it's a good advisable thing for you
42:59
to go ahead and get tested before you're with a man.
43:04
Now, I know that some people, they have quick encounters, but then you should
43:07
be using, you may want to use condoms anyway, just because you may still have pregnancy.
43:12
No matter what. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You could be, oh, here's the thing,
43:15
you could be pregnant during menopause.
43:18
Yes, and there are people that are premenopausal and they get pregnant.
43:21
They get pregnant. So they've stopped their periods, but they still get pregnant.
43:24
From the STD standpoint, I really think just to protect yourself, you should get tested.
43:29
Now, I don't think there's another way.
43:31
I mean, I've never seen anyone give oral sex with a condom.
43:36
That is so true. You could, but I don't think it would be as pleasurable.
43:39
That's the whole point of oral sex.
43:41
But yeah, there's so many different oral diseases you can get.
43:45
And yeah, some you can fix with an antibiotic, but you can't fix herpes. You can't fix HIV.
43:51
And even hepatitis. Those are viruses, too.
43:55
And you could get through oral sex. You don't have to be intercourse.
43:59
You could get all those STD through oral sex. Exactly, in your mouth. Yeah.
44:04
And here's the thing. I think a lot of people are nervous about getting tested because,
44:10
Because they don't realize they don't have to go to their doctor.
44:14
You could get tested once a month if you wanted to go do blood work.
44:17
Some of them might take it personal, though.
44:19
Well, if they take it personally, they're not a mature adult, as far as I'm concerned.
44:23
If a man that wants to be with you is not willing to get tested,
44:27
that's a red flag that they already have something and they know about it.
44:30
They know about it, yeah.
44:31
Especially at this age. At this age? Oh, my gosh. This age, nothing to hide.
44:35
Let it all out on the table. Yeah, if you're dating someone and they refuse
44:39
to get tested, there's no reason to go further.
44:42
No. If they refuse, that's just a red flag right there. Huge red flag.
44:46
Yeah, that's a huge red flag. Yeah. Like I said, at this age,
44:49
lay it all out on the table. There's nothing to hide.
44:52
There's nothing to hide. And it makes sense at our age to ask a man if they've
44:58
had a sexual transmitted disease in the past.
45:00
Yeah. Now, there are people out there that have had HIV.
45:05
And what do you do then? Well, you're probably not going to give oral sex to somebody that has HIV.
45:10
No. Yeah. You're probably also not going to give oral sex to someone that has herpes.
45:15
There's so many things to be careful out there. Well, okay. Let me rephrase that.
45:18
Because 90% of the population has HSV-1. I think that's what it's called.
45:24
Yeah. Which is cold sores. But herpes 2, you're not going to go down on a guy that's got herpes 2.
45:30
Because you're going down on a guy with herpes 2, you can get herpes 2 in your mouth.
45:34
Oh. So, or chlamydia or gonorrhea.
45:38
Yes. And here's the thing. A lot of men aren't going to the doctor very often,
45:41
ladies. So they don't go for annuals like we do.
45:44
No. So they may not even know, and they could be a carrier. They could be a carrier of hepatitis.
45:49
Yes. That is, I have to say, us women see our doctor regularly. Regularly.
45:55
Men don't. They don't. The fact that you can do this for your partner and say,
46:00
look, I just want to get your chested.
46:02
And I think that's very, very important. And that's very caring to me.
46:07
If the other side take it personal, that means something going on.
46:12
That's a red flag. It is a red flag. Yeah.
46:14
So you need to take care of your health. And just like sex is important for
46:19
health, having good, safe, and non-diseased sex is important for your health
46:25
as well. It's important as well.
46:27
Yeah. And I say how often to test. I think you should test whenever you switch partners. Definitely.
46:34
So if you're going to have a new partner, you should be getting tested before
46:36
you're with a new partner. So if you're leaving one partner, going to the next one.
46:40
And then you can provide that test results to your partner.
46:43
Yeah. That way you can pinpoint where you get this from.
46:46
Yeah, I don't think most people are concerned about HSV-1 because I think a
46:50
lot of people will show positive on that, about 80-90%. But anything else,
46:55
if it's, you know, chlamydia, gonorrhea, those are antibiotic type of things
46:59
that you can go and get those fixed.
47:01
And then always retest before you have sex, oral or intercourse.
47:06
There is so much work for women these days. There is a lot of work.
47:10
A lot of work. But you know what?
47:12
If people started doing it this way, there would be a lot less STDs.
47:16
And then eventually they'd go away, kind of like some other viruses.
47:20
Yeah, some other viruses. Yeah, it's so true. It just had to prevent them.
47:23
And hepatitis is not only spread through.
47:25
It's just bodily fluids. It can be spread from other ways, too.
47:28
So they could have gotten hepatitis sometimes at a restaurant.
47:32
Some people, it's a carrier for hepatitis. Yeah, so you don't even know.
47:36
And here's the thing, honestly. if you're
47:39
if you're at the stage where oral sex tends to happen before
47:42
intercourse and people forget about getting tested before
47:45
oral sex yes if you're at the point where you're you're
47:48
making out with a guy you need to go get tested because you could potentially
47:51
if they have hsv1 and you don't you could also give somebody herpes one and
47:57
now they have cold sores that's how it's spread yeah that's why so many people
48:00
in the world have cold sores there's mono that disease mono yeah Yeah, if you have mono,
48:06
mono is, you know, where you get really tired. I had that when I was younger, mono.
48:11
Kissing disease. The kissing disease where you catch it and you're like knocked
48:14
out for a couple weeks and you're tired. That was rough.
48:17
But, you know, Epstein-Barr, you know, you've got all these different viruses
48:22
and things that can be transmitted via kissing.
48:25
That it would be best that you at least know you're clean.
48:29
And then just before you start getting intimate, if you want,
48:32
I would recommend even before you start kissing the person.
48:35
If you've gone on a date,
48:38
and you haven't kissed a person and you look like you think they might be a
48:41
really good fit, just have the adult conversation. It's a conversation that
48:45
you should be having anyway.
48:46
Yeah. I don't think so. I don't know. First day, you should not be kissed in
48:51
the moment yet, I think, not judging.
48:54
But before you party, you have to give a hug, a kiss, you know,
48:57
something. Well, you don't have to give French kiss. Maybe you give a kiss on
49:00
the cheek or a peck or something.
49:04
But definitely a hug if you're interested in the person. I don't know of anything
49:07
else to do besides testing. You just have to get tested.
49:11
Yeah, you have to be all open and get tested. Be all open, get tested,
49:15
be honest with the other person.
49:16
You need to be able to be honest with your partner.
49:19
It all goes back to communication again. And honestly, I think that if someone's
49:24
our age, I think they should be open to getting a test.
49:27
And if they don't have any money, ladies, and you're going to be with this guy,
49:29
maybe you shouldn't be with them if they don't have any money anyway.
49:34
I'm not saying that you should stop, But if they don't have any money,
49:38
maybe you should not. You might be supporting their butt.
49:40
But nonetheless, always get tested before.
49:43
And I think that if they realize they don't have to go talk to their doctor to get tested.
49:49
Now, if you find out that they have something, you should always let them know
49:53
and say, hey, you need to go take care of this. Yes.
49:56
And then always retest. I would. It's important, right?
49:59
Yeah, I would. There's so many craziness out there.
50:03
This is the last thing you want to be less worried about. This is the last thing.
50:05
That's the last thing you want to, you know, get exposed to.
50:10
I would definitely highly recommend it. Yes.
50:13
So next time on the show, we're going to talk about hormones.
50:17
Oh, hormones are a big part of our life. Hormones are a big part of sex.
50:22
They're a big part of life. They're a big part of everything.
50:25
And at our age, hormones become bigger than they used to be for men and women. There is.
50:31
Testosterone is big for men and women. People don't realize that.
50:34
So next show, we're going to dive into deep into menopause and hormones and
50:38
all that. All of that, yes. Comes into play.
50:40
All right, guys. So you have a wonderful week and we'll talk soon.
50:44
This is Kat and Mia signing off. There it is. Signing off now. See you soon. Bye. Bye.
50:52
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50:58
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