Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Lessons - Redefining Leadership and Knowing Your Values | Sarah Gibbons - Creator of The Board Leadership Program

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Lessons - Redefining Leadership and Knowing Your Values | Sarah Gibbons - Creator of The Board Leadership Program · Success Story with Scott Clary

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  In this lessons episode, explore how real leadership starts with self-awareness and alignment,
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  rather than authority. Discover why defining core values builds clarity and confidence.
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  Understand how emotional ownership strengthens relationships and choices,
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  and uncover how effective coaching drives growth through discomfort and transformation.
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  So I want to dig into that point, just as Sean leadership. And obviously,
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  so great points. Leadership is not CXO. Leadership is how you conduct yourself in your life.
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  And I think that mental shift or that lens that you look at leadership through is an important
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  distinction. So what are some practical steps? We can be a lot of people here are obviously
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  executives, but also moms and dads. What would be some overarching step that people should
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  try and take to be better leaders in their life and vision and understand their impact?
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  Yeah, I love that question. So one of the first think about leadership as who you be informs
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  what you do. So if you are disgruntled, overwhelmed, and anxious on the inside, then as you are
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  doing whatever it is you need to do, that's the experience you're going to have. So
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  one of the best ways to get really clear on who you are is to define your values. And it's
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  amazing, Scott. I'll start working with clients. And also, okay, let's talk about your values,
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  do you know your values? And they'll say, yeah, yeah, I know my values. Okay, great. Tell me your
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  values. You scratch the surface a little bit. They don't know their values. So for anybody who's
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  watching, actually, you can go to my website. If you sign up for my email, I have put together a
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  super simple turnkey guide to help you figure out your values. Everyone has around, you know,
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  five to seven values. And once you get clear on your values and you define them on your terms,
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  then you have a very different experience. Because if you think about it, if you start to make
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  decisions from your values, rather than expectations of what you think you should be doing or what
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  you think your family should doing, already you're going to have an experience that is much more
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  in alignment with what matters to you. So for me, one of my top values is connection. So as I'm
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  moving throughout the day, as well as impact, I'm asking myself, what value does this align with?
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  If I need to make a decision, okay, is this an accordance with my values? That's a very different
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  experience than, all right, what does it need to get done today? What should I be doing? And so it
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  allows people to feel so much more empowered. So I would say for anybody who's watching the very
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  first thing you could do if you did nothing else was get clear on your values to find them
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  and to start to play with what does it look like to live from your values? What does it like to make
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  decisions from your values? And you'll be amazed at the different kind of results you get both in
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  the workplace and at home. And I guess my question because everybody, he said things they know their
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  values. And even if they even if they do have an understanding of what their values are, we slip,
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  we slip all the time. I slip probably 200 times a day on I think I'm a good person, I think I
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  have good values, but something you know, rouse me the wrong way. And then I react or the conversation
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  after the thing that rubbed me the wrong way is now, you know, that the emotion that's gone to
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  that conversation is a negative emotion, even though the person had no bearing on what actually
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  triggered me in the first place, these are very common human tendencies. So how do you get rid of?
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  How do you? How do you? What's the answer? So really great point what you said. So one of the
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  biggest principles I got out of my master's program in spiritual psychology is that
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  if we get triggered as human beings, it's an unresolved issue that belongs to us,
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  it's getting triggered. It actually has nothing to do with you. So if you were being disrespectful to
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  me, it doesn't mean that you get a hall pass for being that way, but it's on me to look at, okay,
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  why did that trigger me so much? So as a coach, one of the things that I do is I invest a lot in
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  my own mentorship. So I work with a team of coaches, which by the way, for anybody who's looking at
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  a coach, you want to make sure you're the coach that you're working with is actually investing
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  themselves. One of the best tools is called completion. And it's a process where you are getting
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  complete on your side of the fence of what you're bringing to the table. So the ultimate goal is if
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  you've got energy on you, Scott, about something, that is going to carry over into how you show up
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  and relate to someone. So you want to take on a very practical exercise, which is called completion.
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  It involves writing three different letters. It takes no more than 20 minutes. But what it does is
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  it helps you first and foremost, express what's there for you, whether you're mad, you're frustrated,
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  you're upset, whatever it is, get it all out. Then it's about taking a look at, okay, what's
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  there for me to own? What can I be responsible for? And then the third piece is around what can I
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  acknowledge both the other person and both for me? And sometimes I have to do completion multiple
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  times around the same situation, the same person. But it is truly the only tool that I have learned
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  that my coaches have taught me if I want to be able to come into a situation and feel neutral
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  so that I can approach it from a very clear leadership, then that's on me to get complete.
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  And it doesn't require anyone to apologize to me. It's really on me. And I think that's
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  if people went around in the world getting complete on their own stuff so they weren't lobbing
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  their own stuff over to other people, we would have very different experiences throughout the day.
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  Because you're right, we're human beings. It's not that we go through the day and it's not that
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  we're in leadership 24-7. It's that we fall out of leadership and we're not always saying to
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  my clients, it's like, how quickly can you get back into leadership rather than withdrawing for a
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  day or getting into it with a colleague and going down that rabbit hole? Great question.
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  I love that. And I keep wanting to just double down on the fact that this definition of leadership
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  is truly changing who you are to be a better person. That's really the end goal.
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  And that actually, when we first connected, one of the things I wanted to speak to you about was
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  coaching as a concept. Of course, when you look at it through that lens, when you look at
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  the ability to become a better person in everything you do, it's not hard to understand why that
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  could be a good thing to subscribe to. But let's speak about coaching and as opposed to me just
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  going on, it's funny because I don't go on YouTube and I don't investigate this, but say I
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  need to be sold on coaching. Why would I pay somebody to teach me this when I can just go figure
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  it out myself? That's something that I think always comes up with coaches because people
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  need to buy into it. They've either already bought into it or a lot of people will say, I have
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  no need for that. That's not going to positively impact me. And it's funny because people get a
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  personal trainer, but I think it's a physical, like they see the physical result. And how do you
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  measure the ROI on a coach? How do you measure whether or not a coach? I don't think anybody would
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  shirt like a good coach or somebody that can actually help them, but how do you sell somebody,
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  or how do you not sell somebody? How do you prove to somebody that you can actually help them
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  impact their life? Oh gosh, such a great question and so many places that we could go with it.
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  I'm just thinking where I want to start with this.
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  I think you deal with it. You live it every day. Yeah, I do. You know, the coaching industry
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  has become one of the biggest industries where money is spent. And at the same time,
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  the bar is so low that anybody can get into coaching, which is dangerous because it can create
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  integrity issue. And so I can't speak for other coaches. I can only speak for myself and why
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  why I invest in coaching and why my people invest in coaching. And I think at the end of the day,
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  it's because we by nature want to be comfortable. We don't want to feel any sense of discomfort.
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  If you are wanting to deepen your connection with clients and service to
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  doubling your bottom line, if you are wanting to create a bigger impact,
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  whether it's in your personal life or your professional life, any of those goals are going to
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  require you to do something and behave differently than you're currently doing. In order to do that,
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  you're going to have to feel uncomfortable. We don't like to feel uncomfortable.
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  I know for me, and I joke with my clients, but I truly believe at the end of the day,
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  the reason that they pay me isn't necessarily for accountability. It's because I'm willing to
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  say things to them that nobody else would say. So for example, a couple years ago, I was in
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  enrollment conversation with one of the top executive creative directors in the country. He's
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  just an unbelievable human being, but his work is out of this world.
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  And he kept repeating this story. And finally, I just looked at him and I said, can I give you
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  a reflection? And he said, yes. And I said, I am so bored by this story. If I'm bored by it,
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  you must be bored by it. And he laughed and he said, you're the first person
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  that has told me they're bored by. He said, I'm so bored by it, but it was a story in an
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  event that happened in the news that he was a part of a company that had a huge issue with.
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  And he said, he hired me on the spot. I mean, that's only the conversation change. And he
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  started to talk about what it looked like to work together. So I truly believe people who value
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  growth by nature will be interested and will want to consider coaching. But really the role
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  of a good coach is to keep reflecting back to clients what they're seeing in their way of being.
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  And we all know this, but our relationship to feedback, including my own, and I've done a lot
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  of work around feedback, that is not easy to hear or work with. And so it's less about, okay,
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  here's the program we're going to work. And here's what we're going to do every week. It's like,
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  no, let me tell you what I'm noticing right now in your presence. Let me tell you what I'm
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  noticing in your tone. Let me tell you what I'm seeing. And so that kind of level of work requires
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  a whole different type of leadership if you want to have a different experience in the physical
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  world, but also internally. So. Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable, don't forget to
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  hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. And if you want to dive deeper into
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  this conversation, check out the links in the description to watch the full episode. See you in the
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  next one.