Latest / Voddie Baucham Sermons / Voddie Baucham - We Must Change The Way We Talk About Marriage
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Some of what we talk about this morning may be
- 0:02Speaker 1: uncomfortable to us. And those of you who know me
- 0:05Speaker 1: know that that worries me greatly. But join me, if
- 0:16Speaker 1: you will, in Genesis chapter 2, beginning at verse 18.
- 0:23Speaker 1: As you open your Bibles to Genesis 2, 18, listen
- 0:27Speaker 1: to this. from recovering biblical manhood and womanhood. John Piper
- 0:33Speaker 1: and Wayne Grudem write this about the importance of this
- 0:37Speaker 1: battleground in particular. We are concerned not merely with the
- 0:41Speaker 1: behavioral roles of men and women, but also with the
- 0:44Speaker 1: underlying nature of manhood and womanhood themselves. Biblical truth and
- 0:48Speaker 1: clarity in this matter are important because error and confusion
- 0:52Speaker 1: over sexual identity leads to these four things. Number one,
- 0:56Speaker 1: marriage patterns that do not portray the relationship between Christ
- 1:00Speaker 1: and the church why is this important why is it
- 1:03Speaker 1: important for us to get the roles of men and
- 1:05Speaker 1: women right because according to Ephesians chapter 5 the marriage
- 1:09Speaker 1: relationship is a living breathing example of the relationship between
- 1:14Speaker 1: Christ and his church and if we are wrong about
- 1:17Speaker 1: the roles of men and women in marriage we are
- 1:20Speaker 1: painting a defective picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ
- 1:24Speaker 1: and the church he died.
- 1:25Speaker 2: To redeem.
- 1:27Speaker 1: Two Parenting practices that do not train boys to be
- 1:32Speaker 1: masculine and girls to be feminine. That's the second problem
- 1:37Speaker 1: if we don't address this issue. We adopt parenting practices
- 1:42Speaker 1: that do not train our boys to be masculine and
- 1:45Speaker 1: our girls to be feminine.
- 1:47Speaker 2: That do not look at our boys.
- 1:49Speaker 1: And occasionally say to them, Butch up Sally, you're.
- 1:52Speaker 2: Acting like a girl. 3.
- 2:01Speaker 1: Homosexual tendencies and increasing attempts to justify homosexual alliances. Don't
- 2:07Speaker 1: you think for a moment that homosexuality is somehow organic
- 2:13Speaker 1: and doesn't touch on this issue of the way we
- 2:15Speaker 1: view the roles of men and women?
- 2:18Speaker 2: Hear me when I say this.
- 2:20Speaker 1: There is absolutely no scientific evidence linking homosexuality to any gene. 4.
- 2:30Speaker 1: Patterns of unbiblical female leadership in the church that reflect
- 2:33Speaker 1: and promote the confusion over the true meaning of manhood
- 2:37Speaker 1: and womanhood. There are biblical roles that men and women
- 2:42Speaker 1: are to play in their homes, and there are biblical
- 2:44Speaker 1: roles that men and women are.
- 2:46Speaker 2: To play in the church.
- 2:48Speaker 1: And when we confuse these roles, we pay a price
- 2:52Speaker 1: in every area of life.
- 2:59Speaker 2: That's why this is important.
- 3:02Speaker 1: Genesis chapter 2, beginning of verse 18.
- 3:05Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite passages in the whole Bible.
- 3:07Speaker 2: I love this.
- 3:09Speaker 1: Then the Lord God said, it is not good that
- 3:11Speaker 1: the man should be alone. That's just one of my
- 3:15Speaker 1: favorite statements in the whole Bible. I just have this
- 3:19Speaker 1: picture of God looking at Adam saying, that old boy
- 3:21Speaker 1: ain't going to make it.
- 3:22Speaker 2: You know?
- 3:27Speaker 1: We got to help him. And that's exactly what comes next.
- 3:30Speaker 1: I will make him a helper fit for him. He
- 3:32Speaker 1: ain't going to make it.
- 3:34Speaker 2: I got to help him.
- 3:36Speaker 1: Now, out of the ground, the Lord God had formed
- 3:39Speaker 1: every beast of the field and every bird of the
- 3:42Speaker 1: heavens and brought them to the man to see what
- 3:45Speaker 1: he would call them. And whatever the man called every
- 3:48Speaker 1: living creature, that was its name. This almost seems to
- 3:52Speaker 1: not fit. There's a statement here, Adam's by himself.
- 3:56Speaker 2: He's alone.
- 3:57Speaker 1: I need to make him a helper fit for him.
- 4:00Speaker 1: A helper suitable for him. Or if you guys are
- 4:03Speaker 1: familiar with the King James Version of this, a help meet.
- 4:07Speaker 1: A helper meet, which meet means suitable.
- 4:09Speaker 2: Okay?
- 4:11Speaker 1: By the way, if you're going to talk about it
- 4:12Speaker 1: in the King James Vernacular, it's not help make, it's
- 4:15Speaker 1: help meet.
- 4:18Speaker 2: Amen? Okay.
- 4:20Speaker 1: Not that anybody understands either one of those anymore, but
- 4:22Speaker 1: that's okay. If you're going to use them, it's help meet,
- 4:25Speaker 1: not help make.
- 4:26Speaker 2: But it's a.
- 4:26Speaker 1: Suitable helper for him. That's what we're after here. And
- 4:30Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, we're naming the animals. Seemingly
- 4:36Speaker 1: inconsequential as it relates to Adam finding a suitable helper.
- 4:40Speaker 1: Because that's not the kind of help he needs. Amen? Amen?
- 4:47Speaker 2: But is Adam aware of the kind of help he needs?
- 4:51Speaker 2: Not at all.
- 4:53Speaker 1: How could he have been aware of the kind of
- 4:56Speaker 1: help he needs?
- 4:57Speaker 2: He would have had no reference point. None whatsoever.
- 5:02Speaker 1: I mean, that's like expecting someone in the 1700s to
- 5:05Speaker 1: wake up one morning and say, I wish I had
- 5:07Speaker 1: a microwave.
- 5:11Speaker 2: They would have had no reference point.
- 5:13Speaker 1: However, you, because you've experienced microwaves, if you were to
- 5:17Speaker 1: wake up in a home where there was not a microwave,
- 5:19Speaker 1: you would.
- 5:20Speaker 2: Wake up one day and say, I wish I had
- 5:22Speaker 2: a microwave. Why?
- 5:24Speaker 1: Because you have a reference point. Adam, however, had no
- 5:27Speaker 1: reference point. He has no idea what he needs. But now,
- 5:31Speaker 1: God's got him naming animals.
- 5:39Speaker 2: Those are gorillas. Is he a gorilla? And a she gorilla.
- 5:46Speaker 2: There's an elephant right there. There's a he elephant and
- 5:50Speaker 2: a she elephant. That's a tiger right there. There's a
- 5:56Speaker 2: he tiger and a she tiger. What's wrong, Adam? God,
- 6:03Speaker 2: everybody got somebody. And I don't like none of them.
- 6:14Speaker 1: Verse 20, the man gave names to all the livestock,
- 6:17Speaker 1: to all the birds, to every beast of the field.
- 6:22Speaker 2: But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit
- 6:25Speaker 2: for him altogether. Oh, yeah. So the Lord God caused
- 6:36Speaker 2: the deep sleep to fall upon the man.
- 6:40Speaker 1: You ever wonder why he did that? Two basic reasons. One,
- 6:45Speaker 1: so he wouldn't take credit. You know how we do.
- 6:47Speaker 1: And two, so he wouldn't mess it up. Because you
- 6:53Speaker 1: know how we do.
- 6:53Speaker 2: All right.
- 6:56Speaker 1: While he slept, took one of his ribs and closed
- 6:59Speaker 1: up its place with flesh. And the rib that the
- 7:02Speaker 1: Lord God had taken from the man, he made into
- 7:05Speaker 1: a woman. brought her to the man then the man
- 7:08Speaker 1: said this is at last bone of my bones and
- 7:12Speaker 1: flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because
- 7:15Speaker 1: she was taken out of man therefore a man shall
- 7:17Speaker 1: leave his father and his mother and hold fast to
- 7:20Speaker 1: his wife and they shall become one flesh and the
- 7:23Speaker 1: man and his wife were both naked and not ashamed
- 7:29Speaker 1: so we see here in this picture God bringing marriage
- 7:33Speaker 1: into being. And marriage, of course, was God's idea. It
- 7:37Speaker 1: was not man's idea. This is the beauty of it.
- 7:41Speaker 1: Man didn't come up with marriage. Man didn't invent marriage
- 7:44Speaker 1: because man didn't come up with marriage. And because man
- 7:47Speaker 1: didn't invent marriage, man doesn't get to reinvent marriage. God
- 7:51Speaker 1: gave us marriage so he gets to define what it is,
- 7:54Speaker 1: what it's supposed to be. Listen to this from John
- 7:56Speaker 1: Calvin commenting on this passage. Moses now relates that marriage
- 8:00Speaker 1: was divinely instituted, which is especially useful to be known.
- 8:04Speaker 1: For since Adam did not take a wife to himself
- 8:07Speaker 1: at his own will, but received her as offered and
- 8:10Speaker 1: appropriated to him by God, the sanctity of marriage, hence more,
- 8:14Speaker 1: clearly appears because we recognize God as its author. He
- 8:19Speaker 1: goes on, the more Satan has endeavored to dishonor marriage,
- 8:23Speaker 1: the more should we vindicate it from all reproach and
- 8:27Speaker 1: abuse that it may receive its due reverence.
- 8:31Speaker 2: I love that.
- 8:34Speaker 1: The more Satan attempts to redefine and misdefine marriage, the
- 8:40Speaker 1: more we ought to fight to define it the way
- 8:44Speaker 1: God defined it and to show it its due reverence.
- 8:49Speaker 1: We do not have a reverent attitude toward marriage in
- 8:51Speaker 1: our culture.
- 8:51Speaker 2: We don't.
- 8:53Speaker 1: We see marriage as something to be avoided at all
- 8:55Speaker 1: costs in our culture. We do not see marriage as
- 8:58Speaker 1: something to be embraced in our culture. You and I
- 9:01Speaker 1: both have run into parents who have wept bitterly because
- 9:04Speaker 1: their children had determined to get married earlier than they
- 9:08Speaker 1: thought it was appropriate. We do not view marriage the
- 9:15Speaker 1: way God intended marriage to be viewed. We do not
- 9:19Speaker 1: cherish marriage the way God intended for marriage to be cherished.
- 9:24Speaker 1: And because of that, we are not preparing our sons
- 9:27Speaker 1: and our daughters for marriage. And here's our rationale. Our
- 9:33Speaker 1: rationale goes something like this.
- 9:34Speaker 2: Well, you know, there's plenty of time for that.
- 9:37Speaker 1: And perhaps God would call them to be single, and
- 9:40Speaker 1: so we don't want to force them into thinking about
- 9:43Speaker 1: marriage prematurely.
- 9:45Speaker 2: Really. Really.
- 9:47Speaker 1: I would argue that every little boy and every little
- 9:50Speaker 1: girl ought to be prepared to be a husband and
- 9:53Speaker 1: father and mother and wife as early as possible. Why?
- 10:00Speaker 2: I'm glad you asked.
- 10:02Speaker 1: If I train my sons to be husbands and fathers,
- 10:05Speaker 1: and I train my daughters to be wives and mothers,
- 10:08Speaker 1: but God gives them a supernatural gift, and by the way,
- 10:11Speaker 1: that's the way singleness is defined in the scriptures. In
- 10:15Speaker 1: 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and Matthew chapter 19, it It's
- 10:18Speaker 1: a supernatural gift from God for a person to be
- 10:21Speaker 1: able to live a life of singleness.
- 10:25Speaker 2: So if I train my sons to be husbands.
- 10:27Speaker 1: And fathers and my daughters to be wives and mothers,
- 10:30Speaker 1: but then God gives them this supernatural gift that will
- 10:34Speaker 1: allow them to live a life of singleness, they have
- 10:36Speaker 1: lost nothing. Because ultimately I'm preparing them for the relationship
- 10:44Speaker 1: that epitomizes the relationship between Christ and His church. So
- 10:47Speaker 1: they've lost nothing if I've prepared them for that. However,
- 10:51Speaker 1: if I do not prepare my sons to be husbands
- 10:54Speaker 1: and fathers, and I do not prepare my daughters to
- 10:56Speaker 1: be wives and mothers, and God sends them a spouse,
- 11:01Speaker 1: I've lost everything. And that's where most people are. They
- 11:06Speaker 1: spend their entire lives being raised in homes... that don't
- 11:10Speaker 1: prepare them to be husbands and fathers and mothers and wives,
- 11:14Speaker 1: then they want to come to me for four weeks
- 11:16Speaker 1: of counseling before they get married.
- 11:20Speaker 2: If you can't say amen, you ought to say ouch.
- 11:24Speaker 1: And we are supposed to just magically do in those
- 11:28Speaker 1: four weeks what they should have been prepared for for
- 11:32Speaker 1: their entire lives in their homes. Instead, we've raised our
- 11:38Speaker 1: children to believe that it's somehow more spiritual to go
- 11:42Speaker 1: and pursue life as a single. So that now, here's
- 11:47Speaker 1: how we're raising our young men. This is basically the
- 11:49Speaker 1: attitude that we're giving young men in our culture. The
- 11:52Speaker 1: attitude that says, one day, you'll walk up to a
- 11:54Speaker 1: young woman and you'll say this, essentially.
- 11:56Speaker 2: I have sucked all of the joy.
- 11:58Speaker 1: Out of life. Now I'm ready to marry you and die. Oh,
- 12:08Speaker 1: that's not what we're teaching our sons.
- 12:10Speaker 2: Yes, it is.
- 12:10Speaker 1: Because we're telling them, have your fun now. See the
- 12:15Speaker 1: world now. Serve the Lord now. Enjoy your freedom now.
- 12:23Speaker 1: And after you've sucked all of the joy and freedom
- 12:26Speaker 1: out of life, then settle for a wife. God help us.
- 12:31Speaker 1: But that's our attitude and our culture. Instead of training
- 12:38Speaker 1: them from the time that they're small, that there's nothing
- 12:41Speaker 1: more glorious than this relationship that God has given for
- 12:46Speaker 1: men and women called marriage. And that they should become
- 12:50Speaker 1: prepared for it as soon as possible and as thoroughly
- 12:55Speaker 1: as possible.
- 12:56Speaker 2: Amen? God defines marriage.