Latest / The iHeart SoCal Show / 'Stop Trying' and Start DOING! Hear my chat with motivational speaker & author Carla Ondrasik

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'Stop Trying' and Start DOING! Hear my chat with motivational speaker & author Carla Ondrasik · The iHeart SoCal Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I'm Lisa Fox and this is the iHeart So Cow Show.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: There's a brand new book out, a new philosophy that
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: could probably help a lot of us out in terms
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: of how we live our lives. How we live our
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: lives day to day, Stop trying so much and start
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: doing more. Yeah, stop trying is the title of the book,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: The life transforming power of Trying Less and Doing More,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: The new self help book by a motivational speaker and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: my dear friend and a former music industry executive, super wife,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: super mom, Carla Andrasik. Carlo, congratulations on your this is
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: your first book, then write your first book.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: This is my first and only book.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Yes, And how long have you been wanting to do
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: this book? I feel like the last time and this
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: sounds so familiar to me when you told me to
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: stop trying back in like November of last year. I've
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: known Carla for a lot of years. I went to
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: see your husband perform live at the Canyon Club a
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: while back. We reconnected. We volunteered at Project Angel Food
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: delivering meals together right before Thanksgiving, and I told her
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I was gonna do a big weight loss program through
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: the radio station. And I said I'm gonna try and
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: do this new weight loss thing. And she was like, no,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: you're not gonna try, You're gonna do it. I was like, wow, okay, boy,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: she's fired up about my weight loss program. She's fired up.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: This Galla is not messing around. But you didn't tell
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: me the time that you were doing. You were putting
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: together this book to essentially really really ingraining people's heads
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: this whole man, I don't know, trial try. You really
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: are fired up about this, this movement and this message.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about where it came from and why
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: it's so important to you.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well, the hobby is fire for fighting John on Rask,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: the person that you were seeing and sadly in love with.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: And you know, honestly, I feel like I was born
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: this way as a human being who really just jumps
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: over all the hurdles, like I see the end game
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: and I go for what I want. But my the
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: way I was brought up, I was a gambler's daughter,
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: and there were times in my life where we were
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: just kind of thrown into situations where it was sink
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: or swim. You know, you can't when you're doing something,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: you have to just go all in to get out
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  Speaker 2: of it. And you know, so from an early age,
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I was really trained to just go for it to survive,
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: and then moving forward in all of my careers, you know,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I was the dream maker. I was in music publishing
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: for twenty five years and I don't know you are
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: in the music world, but selling music, like getting a
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: song to another artist to record, is like selling ice
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: to eskimos because there's so much competition. You can't see it,
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: touch it, feel it.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Ye.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: So you know the trying mindset, you know you're you're
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: not going to survive.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: You have to make things happen. You're on the business side,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: you have to make things happen. It's business.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Yep, you absolutely have to. And there's just such a
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: clear distinction between trying and doing it. I've always been
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: triggered by it. When someone says to me, oh, you know,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: we're going to try to set up that meeting. I'm
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: going to try to call you back. I immediately hear
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: that as it's not going to happen, because nine times
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: out of ten we trick ourselves. We think when we
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: say we're going to try to do it, that we're
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: doing it, but we're really not. We're just talking about it,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: thinking about it. We're we're putting, you know, so much
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: opportunity for failure when you say try.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: And it sounds so non noncommittal. Now that you put
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: it that way, try it sounds so non committal, and
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: that's just a waste of everyone's time. I guess right,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'll try to make it over there. I'll try and
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  Speaker 1: do this. I'll try. Now I'm hating that word try.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I hate it. You will hate it so
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: much more after this talk. You know, I'm just going
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  Speaker 2: to put this out there for everybody that's listening, and
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  Speaker 2: for you. I'm going to ask you a questions. Would
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: you put your money in a bank that says, look, Lisa,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: we're going to try to, you know, keep trying of
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: your money, and I'm going to try to have it
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: available for you when you want to take it out
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: right and the world you know, falls apart. You wouldn't would.
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  Speaker 1: No, No, I don't like Yeah, now it feels so
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  Speaker 1: wishy washy. Try What do you mean? No, for sure,
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  Speaker 1: you're going to do it. You're gonna lock it in
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  Speaker 1: and follow through it your promise.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, but we try, Like, why do we do that
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  Speaker 2: to ourselves. You know, we don't allow the banks that
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: the mortgage or your rent, they don't allow you to
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  Speaker 2: try to pay.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a fly with them. I'm going to try
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: to pay my mortgage. No, you're either going to or
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: you're not going to, and then bad things are going
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: to happen. So it's just or No. There's no gray area.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: There's no gray area. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: But where it really, where it really gets me is
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: when people say I'm trying to lose weight. Like when
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: I heard you say that, I'm like, no, Lisa, I
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: care about you and I want you to make this
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  Speaker 2: happen because I know it's important to you, and I
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  Speaker 2: don't want you to have the mindset going in I'm
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: going to try to do it because you're going to
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  Speaker 2: half hearted. You're going to give all these excuses. Well
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: I tried, but I could didn't because I'm so busy.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Well I tried, but Eric, you know, kept bringing home donuts.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: You know, Ah, but guess who's down twenty eight pounds. You. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: But I will say though, I'm grateful for the weight
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  Speaker 1: last program I did through the radio station because it
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  Speaker 1: helped me stick to it. Because you know, I'm on
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  Speaker 1: the air talking about it. So it's a promise, a
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  Speaker 1: follow through, and it really helped motivate me to.
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  Speaker 2: Stick to it, accountable account It.
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  Speaker 1: Helped make me accountable and that's what I needed, you know.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: And then you know, we have the fires in January,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: and I'm just so grateful that we didn't end up
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: doing all the terrible emotional eating. Well we are emotional drinking,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: but not emotional eating, and we're a downweight and our
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: health is very important to us now more than ever.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: But also it helps with mental health. Exercising, eating clean,
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  Speaker 1: eating healthy, it's all so important. So I get it,
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  Speaker 1: just like your books, stop trying and start doing, and
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  Speaker 1: we've been doing in terms of our health and the
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  Speaker 1: exercise and the clean eating, all the stuff we've been
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: doing it. We want to continue doing it and not
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: wasting time talking about wanting to do it. We're doing it.
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  Speaker 2: Like when you say you're trying to do anything, you
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  Speaker 2: are focusing on the effort more than the outcome. You're
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: focusing on that it's going to be a struggle. I'm
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: going to try to do it right, it's all built
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: in there. But when you when you ultimately just say, look,
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to do this, you're just now in doo mode.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: You're in You're focusing on the result, You're not focusing
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: on the struggle. And trying is something that we all do,
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: so I really really want to make sure that I
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  Speaker 2: say this. You know, we are taught to try at
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: a very young age. Try harder, try your best, just
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  Speaker 2: try it like we do, believe that it's doing. We've
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: we've been fooled, We've been tricked into the mindset because
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: we'd be much better off telling the people that we
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  Speaker 2: love and care about don't try, because that means you're
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  Speaker 2: going to half heart your attempt and you are going
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  Speaker 2: to lean on excuses and blame. You're not going to
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  Speaker 2: be accountable. Do it and just focus on that because
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  Speaker 2: that's going to fuel you. And there is definitely neuroscience
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  Speaker 2: behind our brain when we try and when we do.
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  Speaker 2: When you try, it's like low low lighting up, low vibration,
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  Speaker 2: but when you do, it's firing. It's literally physically when
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  Speaker 2: you look at the picture, it's brighter when you're doing,
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  Speaker 2: and all of the synapsises are connected and going. There's
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  Speaker 2: so much other like science behind it. But I also
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  Speaker 2: want to say that just because you commit to doing something,
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  Speaker 2: it does not guarantee success. Even if you say I'm
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  Speaker 2: going to do this, it's not guaranteed it's going to happen,
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  Speaker 2: but you are one hundred percent guaranteed a better chance
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  Speaker 2: of it happening if you do instead of try to
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  Speaker 2: do it.
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  Speaker 1: And and honestly, Carla, we know, we all know at
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  Speaker 1: this stage of the game, when we have failed, we
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  Speaker 1: learn our biggest lessons. And sometimes failure is a big
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  Speaker 1: eye opener and a big wake up call to do
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  Speaker 1: things different or better next time. I mean, it's a
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  Speaker 1: learning lesson. There are big lessons we learned when you
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  Speaker 1: fail as well.
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  Speaker 2: Right, Oh my god, it's the that's the number one
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  Speaker 2: reason that we say we'll try because we're so afraid
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  Speaker 2: to fail. Commit to it. I'm going to fail, and
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  Speaker 2: you just hit the nail on the head. It's I
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  Speaker 2: welcome failure. It is the best thing that can happen
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  Speaker 2: to you. This book journey. I'm on, I have no
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  Speaker 2: idea what I'm doing, and if something works, great. If
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  Speaker 2: it doesn't work, okay, I'm going to learn the lesson
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  Speaker 2: and pivot and kind of go about it and do
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  Speaker 2: it another way.
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  Speaker 1: So you talk about the science behind this concept, Carla,
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  Speaker 1: how did you dive into that part of it?
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  Speaker 2: Well, when I was writing the book, you know, people
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  Speaker 2: do want science back research, and then as I talk
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  Speaker 2: about it, and then sometimes questions lead to me discovering
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  Speaker 2: like what is the science behind that? So here's something
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  Speaker 2: really fun that not a lot of people know. So
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  Speaker 2: when you are a person that has the big to
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  Speaker 2: do list, it's really your try to do list, because
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: you're not doing them. It's just you're just adding on, well,
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  Speaker 2: I've got I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to
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  Speaker 2: do this, I'm trying to do this, and you tend
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: to get very stressed and anxious, and then guess what happens.
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  Speaker 2: You can't even complete anything on the list because you're
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: mentally exhausted, you're emote, you know, you're just thinking about
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  Speaker 2: all that stuff and it overwhelms you. So there's something
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  Speaker 2: called the Zygarnic effect. So here's some science behind it.
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  Speaker 2: When you make a list of all the stuff you're
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  Speaker 2: trying to do, our brain processes the list as unfinished business.
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  Speaker 2: So it's an open loop literally in our brain. It's
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: an open loop that wants to close itself. So imagine
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: in your house you have the big screen TV on
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  Speaker 2: and all the lights on, and all the energy is
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: going towards those things that are open. Right, You're wasting
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: all that energy because they're just lit up and shining
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  Speaker 2: and no one's watching them and no one's using them.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: And our brain does the same thing. It keeps firing
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: and paying attention to what we don't have completed. It
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: wants to close the loop. And so when you complete
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: a task, the loop closes, it goes away. You experience
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: immediate calm and more room in your mental mindset and
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: your brain to go complete another task. This is why
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Cliffhanger's work. The entertainment industry knows this. It leaves the
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  Speaker 2: unopened ending. And what do we do. We think about
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: it like I can't wait till Thursday night to watch
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: the season finale?
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And what radio we do? It's the art
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: of the teas. Coming up, your chance to win this?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Coming up? Did land you want to go?
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Coming up?
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: We do it every day on the radio shows. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: there you go.
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  Speaker 2: That's an open loop. But you know, and that works.
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  Speaker 2: But for us, when we have all those open loops,
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  Speaker 2: think about it. Think about your list like what are
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: you trying to get done? Just like this week, Lisa.
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  Speaker 2: You're one of the busiest people I know, and you're
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: a doer, but there has to be some things that
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: you've had on you know, like, oh my gosh, I've
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: been trying to to organize my emails or trying to
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: clean out the glove compartment in my car. Like whatever
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: it is, big or small, you want to get it
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  Speaker 2: done and close that loop, yes, and give yourself some
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  Speaker 2: calm and some space.
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  Speaker 1: I love creating lists and I love crossing things off
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  Speaker 1: the list. I'm a big cross things off the list
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  Speaker 1: kind of a person. And my man, Eric Is he
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: likes to kind of take us time, and I'm like, nope,
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  Speaker 1: let's get to We're gonna run a list and we're
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: gonna cross it off. Let's check it off the list.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Let's get it done. Make the call the doctor, get
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: your new medications ordered. And again since the fires, he's
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: always got to make calls to FEMA, and always on
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: the phone with the insurance company, and always on the lawyer,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: and you know, just things that we have to accomplish,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: trying to find a contractor. I mean, it's just it's
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: a lot, but creating lists and crossing things off the
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: list is definitely how I like to do things. Yeah, behind,
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  Speaker 1: because that's doing, because it's doing.
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  Speaker 2: Because it's doing. And you know, the fire is a
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: great example of you don't get stuff done that you
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: need to get done. You don't have forever sometimes right. Yeah,
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: And you know in medicine, you mentioned making doctor's appointments.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Think about Here's where I get really triggered. Think about
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: the person that says, you know, I've been trying to
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: make my annual dermatology appointment. So I'm trying to find
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: a new doctor. I'm trying to find the best month
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: to go. I've been trying to get somebody on the phone,
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: and they ultimately, because they're trying, they're not doing it.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: They're just thinking that they're doing it. They may miss
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: some big disc importance. It's important thing, It's really big.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: It affects everything, our careers, our health, our happiness, even
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: our relationships. Like what do you mean I'm trying to
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: spend more time with my kids? What does that look like?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: It looks like maybe you took a Friday afternoon and
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: went out for pizza, but what about next Friday? Like
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: trying is a half hearted thing. Yeah I tried, I
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: did it. Whatever, But doing means setting aside, you know,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: significant amount of time, that's constant. That's really creating connection. Right.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm trying to work on my marriage. I'm
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: going to try to get a better you know. Yep.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: So it's everywhere, the trying is everywhere. But once you
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: get it, it's really great and you're and you become
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: really more respected from people around you because you become accountable.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Sure you're not someone that lets people down. You will
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: be the person that gets the raise that you are
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: noticed in the office because wow, he didn't try to
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: set that meeting up, he did it. Wow, he didn't
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: try to get me the list. He got me the list.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: And you'll have less fear, You'll have so much more confidence.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Like the more you do, it's unbelievable. I could talk
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: to you for five hours on the benefits of just
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: doing it. Not eliminating try, but really becoming hyper hyper
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: aware of what you're doing. When you're trying, it's just
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: such a nothing world. There's no action for it. You're
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: either doing or not.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at your book as how you lay out
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: your chapters in terms of getting people to change his
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: language in our head. Essentially, that's what I think your
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: book is trying to do. No, it wants what your
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: book wants us to do to accomplish.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Doing, and it's doing.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: It's getting that word try out of our mouths, out
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: of our brain, out of our lives. What does it
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: mean to try? What do we try in the first place?
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: How try and hold us back? How leaving a no
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: try life? I mean, how how does your book help
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: people break that cycle and put our put these words
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: into action and help us have a little more hutzva,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: help us have a little more you know, gung ho,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: and help us be more fired up about doing and
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: not all this wishy washy trying. How does your book
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: help us do that?
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Well, the first thing it does is it really makes
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: you become aware of what it means to try. So
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: it's the real version of it's not as the dictionary says,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: an attempter, an effort. It's and I'll maybe kind of
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: sort of do it if ish I feel like it
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: later effort. It really hones in on what does it
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: mean when you say you're trying, and forces you to
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: look at that, And then it talks about why we
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: do it because we're taught to try, because we're afraid
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: of failure, because it's so hard for us to say no.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: It's one of my favorite actors.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Sure, sure, you.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Know we offered to Okay, I'll try to make it
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: to your fundraiser, or I'll try to make it to
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: the whatever. Because and instead of just saying you know what,
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: thank you, but no, Because what happens, and I talk
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: about all of this in the book, is it's not
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: kinder to the person that you're saying I'll try to
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: because now they have kind of a hope that you
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: might show up. They might wait extra time for you,
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: they may save a seat for you. They're going to
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: be wondering if you're coming or not. So that's not nice.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: But to yourself. Now you go home and you're thinking, oh,
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: I said I would try to go, I could go,
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I should go. I'm going to feel bad if I
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: don't go. Now you put yourself through all this like
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: mental torture about because you said you would try it.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Get us.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of wasted time.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: It is instead of I'm not going, and now you
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: get to enjoy your night and have a glass of
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: wine on the back porch and look out at the
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: ocean and have beautiful evening. So so the book talks
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: about you know what it means, why we do it?
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: And then moving forward is becoming aware, learning how to
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: say no, learning to recognize the areas of your life
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: where you might be afraid, and learning that fear is
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: the greatest thing that can happen to you. And then
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I have two sections. One is called Soulful Solutions and
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: the other is Trailblazing Tips. And I love the Soulful
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Solutions because, for example, in there, I talk about the
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: power of silence. When I was writing this book, many
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: people had no idea that I was writing the book because,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: oh my god, whether it came from a place of love, jealousy,
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: or whatever, I did not want to open myself up
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: to them saying, oh my gosh, Carla, really another self
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: help book. Really you have never written a book. Oh
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: my god, it's going to take up some like all
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: that negative energy.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, always hate you and it does.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Affect you, right, you can't so I block it out.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: That's called the power of silence. You just people that
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: are doing they don't have time, they're not talking about
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: all the stuff that they're trying to do. And then
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: you know, just one other thing I'll throw in right now,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: is our brain kind of tricks us. So when you're
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: at a party and you're talking to someone that says, well,
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to develop a podcast and I've been trying
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: to write a book on the subject of house cleaning. Okay,
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: in that moment, that person, they're getting hits of serotonin
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: and doorphins, dopamine, like all the stuff is hitting them
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: because it feels like they're doing it.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you because I want to impress you, right,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: is that part of that like, oh, yeah, I'm doing
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: this something about doing this and that. Yeah, I've got
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: all these things going like how cool am I?
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: Yes? And it gives you a high. But guess what
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: when you leave that party, what are you doing about it?
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Nothing?
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: Nothing, that's a bunch of bs. Well, and I like
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: to carl I see as I flipped the pages of
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: your book, Stop Trying, The Life Transforming Power of Trying
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Less and Doing More by Carla Andrasik. I like that
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: it's a very work book friendly and you can like
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: I can write in here you're asking questions, So like
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: even towards the end here not to give the book away,
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: but things like writing down the thing I will begin
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: doing is what is my motivation for doing this thing?
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Like you're asking people questions, write down or just.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Essentially give us a project and ask asking us to
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: ask ourselves real questions and keep it real.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And it's a very quick book, by
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: the way, Like you could open it up on a
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: flight from LA to New York and read the whole thing,
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: and when you get off that plane, you're a different person.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Your motivation and your insight into how you operate is
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: completely different. So you finish that book and you can
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: immediately start using even while you're reading it, the tools
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: and the tricks that I give you. And there was
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: I going to have time for one little quick story.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: This is how quickly it works. And this is what
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: I really want to stress to everyone, is it's not
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: a process. It can happen within an hour. It could
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: happen within twenty four hours. I used to take my
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: kids to the park to get on the bus in
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: the morning, and there was a guy that was walking
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: around the park with these giant headphones on. And I
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: was in the music business and I always wondered, like,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: what's he listening to? But I never wanted to bother him,
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: so I don't know. After a couple of months of this,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: one day he had the headphones off and I went
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: up to him and I said, Hi, I was in
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: the music business. I'm wondering if you're listening to my
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: friend Li Safox on the radio and you know, what
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: are you listening to? And he goes, oh, well, I
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: listened to a lot of self help motivational podcasts and talks,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: and there's so much that I'm trying to get done
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: that I don't have the inspiration to do. And I
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: heard the word try, and I just looked at this
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: guy and I said, tell me just one thing, one
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: thing trying to do. And he said, well, I've been
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: trying to get back into swimming. It's what I love
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: to do. I'm out of shape. I need to get
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: in shape and lose some weight. And I looked at
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: him and I simply said, why don't you stop trying
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: to go swim and go swim and that was it.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: That was the end of our conversation. I actually thought
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I'm never going to see him again.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: I just swimming at your house. So I was like,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: come on my house.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Twenty four hours later, I have to be at the
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: park at the same time bring the kids to the bus,
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: and I hear this guy screaming from across the park.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I did it.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: I swam and you know what he's I interviewed him
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: for the book. He's still swimming. Changed his job. Like
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: by the time this this call ends, somebody could go,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm not going to try to call
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: my brother that I have been meaning to call and
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: pick up the phone, do it and say I'm sorry
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: or something. I'm going to do it right now. It's
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: that immediate, It's that incredible. So yeah, So that guy
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: is one of my favorite stories. I love that is
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: his trying process was listening. He kept wondering, worrying, listening
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: to all the self help instead of just doing it.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Doing it, yeap, doing the work. And you know, your
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Instagram is so great too, because you share so many
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: anecdotes from the book and some examples of real life
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: situations when you didn't try, but when you did, and
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: so many great success stories of you doing exactly that.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: What's your Instagram and how can people find you? That way?
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: It's at Carla on drawsick O N D R A
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: S I K. And it's Carla with a C. And
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I have my website is stop dash Trying dot com
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: and there's a if you sign up there, you get
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: the try baby test, which is a test that can
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: see if you're a try baby. I came up with
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: that word, you know, for all those people that are
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: just doc in trimode and complaining about everything they don't have.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: So stop dash trying dot com and yeah, follow me
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: because it's been a lot of fun for me to
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: share why I wrote the book how you can use
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: these little tips every day to get out of your
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: trying mindset. I recently talked about eat the frog people.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that mentality to share the
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: eater the frog because of my old boss, Angela Perelli
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: shared that analogy with me years ago, and I have
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: been living my life with that mentality of eating the
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: frog and find that I'm often telling other people to
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: do the same.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, So eat the frog was first attributed, I believe,
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: to Mark Twain, believe it or not, and it is
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: what he says is if you have to eat a frog,
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: it's best to do it first. Thing in the morning.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: So what that means is you do this thing that
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: you are most resistant doing, the thing that you dread,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: the thing that you've been procrastinating. If you do that
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: first thing, everything else in your day is lighter and
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: easier because you've just gotten the worst part and now
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: you've started momentum. And so you know, there's so many
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: reasons by the end of the day we have decision fatigue.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: So you'll eliminate all that. And if you eat your
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: frog first thing in the morning, it may be disgusting
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: and greasy and yiky and growth.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: But it's done. It's done, but it's done.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And here the other thing, it's usually not as
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: bad as you think it is. It's usually like, oh
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: my god, it took me ten minutes to do that,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: but I thought I was going to be doing it
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: all morning. And when you know, doing is so much
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: easier than what you create in your brain of how
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: art it's going to be.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's a wonderful way too. Also, again, cross
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: it off the list, and you know, open up the
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: rest of your day for more magical things to happen. Essentially,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: so and now I feel like I want to change
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: the way we even use the tea word. I'm gonna
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: call it the tea word. Now, I'm not gonna even
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: say try. I feel like I want to say it
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: like a little whiny way. If you're gonna use the
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: word try, it means you're not doing And in the
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: words of Carla Andrasik, it just means I don't believe you.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I don't believe you, But you don't need to impress me.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: You need to do it for yourself. So you need
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: to be doing so you're creating magic in your world.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: You know, we're only here for so long, so you
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: need to create and make things happen and not be
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: a whiny little hmm and complain about stuff all the time.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: We are here to make magic happen. And Carla's book
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: is all about that. She has a wealth of information
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: and you'll be doing book signs around town and talks
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: around town, all the info on your website and your Instagram.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: And it's available on Amazon already.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Right or pre order, oh yeah, pre order Amazon, Bards
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: and Noble target wspots.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Stop trying. The live transforming power of trying less
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: and doing more By Carla Androsik. It's about getting you
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: a fart up to be more of a doer and
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: less of a complainer who tries and waste a lot
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: of time talking about stuff. This is just going to
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: get you fired up to start taking action and getting
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: things done.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to empower people. I am empowering it.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: You are doing it. I will catch you every time
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: you say that word. It's a big bonker that comes
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: down from the sign, like bonk you on the head, zoich.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: In my face. It's amazing and I appreciate this whole
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: thing that you're doing. And it's really just to put
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: this out there to some people that are listening right
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: now about less of the t word, less of the try,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: and more of the doing. Let's get people fired up
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: to live and do great things. So thank you so
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: much for the book Stop trying. Order it now on Amazon,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: and you have a big book event on the West
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Side in a couple of weeks so they can follow
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: all that and find out more on your website and
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: also carl it Andrasic on Instagram.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you Lisa so much.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Love you girl, appreciate your time. And now we're going
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: to just do this. We just did it. See we
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: did it. We did the interview. We did it. We're
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: not going to try to talk on the radio in it.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, we can do it.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: Yay.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. This is fantastic.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Thanks, thanks