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Sober Talk SA - Daryl · Sober Talk SA

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  If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol, please
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  call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222 or check out
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  their website on aa.org dot AU. I'll just run through the
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  preamble of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who
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  share their experience strengthen up with each other.
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  They must so they come problems and help with us to recoup from
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  alcoholism. The only requirement for
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  membership is a desire to stop drinking.
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  There are no Jews at fees for a membership.
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  We are self support through our own contributions.
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  A is not allied with any second nomination.
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  Politics, organization or institution does not wish to
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  engage in any controversy, neither endorses or oppose any
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  causes. Our primary purposes stays open,
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  help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety.
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  Hello folks. My name's Darryl and I'm an
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  alcoholic, and I'm just going to tell a little bit of my story
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  and hope that it'll help someone in the long term.
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  I started my drinking very young.
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  I was my first drunk, was 12 years old at my sister's wedding
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  and I all I really remember is being the center of attention
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  for a little while and then I'm lying in the back seat of the
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  family car vomiting into the gutter and my father looking
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  over me with disgust. But the problem was I really
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  enjoyed it and I loved the attention that I got.
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  You know, I just felt at home and from there my drinking went
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  on to my early teens or mid teens and then we used to go out
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  with all our mates and we'd we'd buy grog on a Saturday night and
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  and drink. And reflecting on that, I can
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  see now that my alcoholic behaviour was already starting
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  to show, where my friends would have a drink and they would go
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  back and enjoy the night, where I would stay there and I would
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  finish the bottle of whatever it was that we were drinking.
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  And I progressed there too, My late teens where I'd finished,
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  left school and got a job and left home and got a flat and and
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  I'd made it, you know, I could, I could drink whenever I wanted
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  to, as much as I wanted to and wasn't accountable to anybody.
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  And I I then went on to my 20s and my drinking only ever
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  progressed, you know, and my behaviours became unacceptable
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  to to most people. I couldn't guarantee my
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  behaviour and I lost a lot of family, friends, relationships
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  through alcohol because I would always choose, always be given
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  an ultimatum by a partner or family friend and to stop
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  drinking. And I would choose to drink and
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  and leave them out of my life. And then there came trouble with
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  the police in my 20s, couple of DUI's, couple of urinating in
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  the street, all that sort of rubbish behaviour that I carried
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  on with and and you know, always in fights and and arguments in
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  pubs and pubs and wherever I was drinking, I got to about 36
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  years of age and my drinking had be kept progressed more.
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  So I I was in more and more trouble, less and less friends
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  starting to lose material things and then the judge decided that
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  it probably a good idea if I went to a A.
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  So at 36 years of age I went to a A and I had to do six weeks.
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  So I went there and told everyone that I was an alcoholic
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  and and that I was there for help.
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  But that was that was only to tell.
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  It was only a fast I'd I didn't. I didn't want to stop drinking.
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  And I always made sure that I went to the bottle shop before I
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  went to the meeting because the bottle shops were closed at 9:30
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  when the meeting finished. And I'd go home and drink and
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  you know and I and I'd done things like getting a sponsor
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  and things like that. And we didn't live in the same
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  town. And we'd I had to call him every
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  day and I'd be drinking wine while I'm telling him how well
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  I'm going with my sobriety and and everything was just a lie
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  and I made an excuse to get out of going to a A after the court.
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  The court stuff had finished and and that led me to another 10
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  years of hell. And I drank harder and harder
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  each time and and I just couldn't, couldn't stop.
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  And I was just a top up drunk. I would get up in the morning
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  and have a few wines and until I've we fell asleep and then I'd
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  wake up and I'd go again and then it was just an absolute
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  nightmare you know and and my drinking progressed to a stage
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  where I was having seizures and the DTS in the morning and the
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  vomiting and and all the rest of it and I just didn't know what
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  to do. So one morning I woke up and I
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  was having a few wines and and this moment of clarity came came
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  to me that I needed help and I I actually made a phone call and
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  and with a community health unit in the small town that I grew up
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  in. And and I was put into a detox
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  where I they offered me Valium to come down off alcohol and I
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  and I refused to have that and and I had another seizure while
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  I was in the hospital and so I had to stay another couple of
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  days but during that time my caseworker was able to secure me
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  a position you know rehab and on the 14th of of December 2009 I
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  went into that rehab and I I didn't know what to expect I was
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  full of fear and and of the unknown and it turned out to be
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  the best thing that ever happened to me.
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  I I ended there and I thought well I'm going to give this the
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  best shot I possibly can and and I booked in there for six months
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  and and done the program and and it was mandatory to do 5 AI
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  meetings per per week which I did and it it didn't worry me at
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  all because I'd had that taste of a a a little bit earlier in
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  my life And and I went there with an open mind and and
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  willingness to to listen to people and I really liked what I
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  what I heard and what I seen. You know there were people there
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  that were they were well spoken well dressed had good jobs had
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  sobriety you know and and I I remember the first meeting that
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  I went to there and I was sitting in the back row and I
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  was I was still very cloudy in the mind and and shaking down
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  the back with the DTS and and and this guy got up and said
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  yeah keep coming back it just gets better.
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  And I thought to myself at the time, I can remember thinking
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  that this blokes, this blokes must be a rocket scientist, say,
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  I couldn't get any worse, you know.
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  But I kept going back and it did keep getting better and better.
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  And and during my stay at Freeman House, I, I got involved
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  in a A. And I I wondered what these
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  people had, you know, to hear people that were 30 years, 20
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  years, even 10 years sober, you know, was amazing to me because
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  I I couldn't go 10 minutes without a drink.
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  And I just hung in there and I hung on to the people that were
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  there who loved me back to life. And they were always welcoming,
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  welcoming. And they showed me certain
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  suggested certain things that I do to try and maintain sobriety.
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  And I done those things and I was able to stay sober in this
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  town where the rehab was. And and I thought to myself,
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  well, this is pretty good, I'm going to hang out here for a
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  while. So I ended up doing five years
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  in Armidale just to get the strength that I needed, you
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  know. And and I'd done that through a
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  lot of AA meetings, talking to a lot of Alcoholics about how they
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  recovered. You know like it's it was it was
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  a really truly inspiring time in my life and I just kept going
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  and going and going and life got easier and life got better and I
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  didn't have to tell lies anymore and I had money in my pocket and
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  and other people were just so so beautiful and loving and and
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  from there I I left the rehab after six months and I got a job
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  and held that down and that with no problems.
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  I didn't have to ring up telling lies about why I wasn't coming
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  in today or what had happened in my life.
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  I think I told someone couple of employees in the past that my my
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  mother had died three times and and that probably didn't go over
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  too well but but yeah just that that security that I had in not
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  having to hide anything including who I was.
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  You know I I drank because of fear and Alcoholics Anonymous
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  took that fear away. I was able to get into a
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  relationship and hold that relationship.
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  I didn't have to make a choice between alcohol and and my
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  partner and we ended up getting married and and then we moved
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  from Armidale. We went on a little trip with a
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  few Alcoholics up to up to Darwin and we came back and we
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  were lucky enough to be able to purchase a house on the coast
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  and and I'd already built one in sobriety you know the house at
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  AA Built's what I call it because all the members just
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  came along and helped and and it was it was so good but was a bit
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  bloody cold in you know. But also we moved to the coast
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  and and everything again just fell into place employment you
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  know we had a place to live. We were able to really enjoy our
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  life and and that's what sobriety is about enjoying life.
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  You know, like I was able to just just to get that
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  understanding about alcohol had defeated me and that and that it
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  was a real ball and chain around my leg.
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  And without that I wasn't a bad person.
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  You know, Alcoholics are not bad people.
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  They're sick people trying to get well and out.
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  Through Alcoholics Anonymous I achieved that and I I haven't
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  picked up a drink since 2009 and haven't needed to, haven't
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  wanted to. It's it's a it's quite a miracle
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  but I go today but I do do the I practice the things that the old
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  timers and had taught me. You know I I've got a Home group
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  and I've I do service and I've got a sponsor and all those
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  things that are suggested I just followed them and I still do
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  that today. You know I was able to to find A
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  and have true faith and and trust in a power greater than
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  myself and and what he she or it is I don't know.
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  But at all I know is that it works and it makes my life so
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  much better. You know that spirituality, you
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  know, there's there's no religion in AI.
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  It is simply spiritual. And you know we move on from
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  there. And I'm I'm, I'm able to now do
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  these trips that I'm on now. I'm standing on the Murray
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  Bridge at a place called Bury in SA with A tag along of people
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  with the Royal Alcoholics and we're having an absolute ball,
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  you know, and and that freedom that's been given to me by not
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  picking up that first drink is just incredible.
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  You know To be able to go where I like what I like and do what I
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  want without having to look over my shoulder for police or or
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  having to drive the back roads because I'm, I've been on the
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  piss and I can't. I can't go on the main roads
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  because I'll get pulled up for sure.
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  You know and and just that freedom and and choices I can
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  make in my life today. You know, like it's it's just a
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  a great feeling to not have to be shackled by alcohol.
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  There is a solution if you're out there and and you're you're
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  struggling with this this addiction.
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  It isn't because it it is a disease.
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  It's and, you know, mental obsession and physical allergies
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  to alcohol and some people just can't handle that.
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  And I'm one of them. And I'm just able today to
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  maintain my sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  And it doesn't take much time out of my my week, you know,
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  each day is about 5 or 10 minutes.
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  And then I go to a couple of meetings a week just to stay in
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  touch, just to remind myself of how what it was like back then
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  and what it's like today. And I can assure you that today
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  is much better than what it was like back then because it it
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  wasn't much of A lie. Sitting on the lion's chair
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  getting drunk every day and and all the dishonesty that went
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  with that. You know, like I don't tell.
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  I don't have to tell lies today and then cover that up when I
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  get found out by telling another lie.
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  I just, I don't have any of that stuff in my life.
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  It is just so serene and beautiful you know and to be
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  able to do this stuff for with other people that understand the
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  way I feel is a great thing and that that support that we get
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  from Alcoholics Anonymous and the members of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous is just simply incredible.
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  I can go to any town in any country around the world and I
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  can find if I'm if I'm struggling I can find someone
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  that can help me. You know, I I don't, I don't go
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  away from AAI stick to exactly what's written in what we call
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  the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and that is where my
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  recovery came from. And it still does today.
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  That first 164 pages, that's all we've got to read.
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  That's all we've got to practice.
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  You know it's not a big effort and and we maintain what we
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  have. You know, like our first step
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  tells us that we're powerless over alcohol in our lives to
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  become unmanageable. And if I can take the first part
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  of that step, I am powerless over alcohol and I don't pick up
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  that first drink. Then that unmanageability
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  doesn't come into my life because I'm able to deal with
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  things as they come up. I'm not leaving it and leaving
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  it. And then the bank's knocking on
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  the door and and the employer's knocking on the door ringing up
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  and all that sort of stuff. I just don't pick up that first
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  drink and then I don't have any problems in my life, you know,
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  and and yeah, I life on life's terms.
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  There's always going to be a little bit of something
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  happening here and there, but I can deal with that And I don't
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  have all the answers all the time.
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  But there's always someone that I can ring up and get advice and
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  and just slow down, take a breath and then make a decision
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  based on on reality. Not what my head tells me
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  sometimes because a lot of the time my first thought is not my
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  best one. So that's why I have a sponsor
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  and I have people around me and Alcoholics Anonymous that kind
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  of advise me on what they think I should do.
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  And then I make an informed decision.
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  You know and and it's that simple.
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  It's it doesn't have to be hard. Alcoholics Anonymous is not
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  hard. It's actually a privilege.
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  So for me I'm very grateful alcoholic and and I I just keep
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  doing what I need to do on a daily basis.
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  I keep it very very simple and the first decision I have to
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  make every day when I get out of bed is I'm not going to pick up
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  that first drink today. And then if I'm struggling, I
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  contact a member, I ring up someone or I get myself to a
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  meeting and doesn't seem quite that bad.
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  You know that one of the first things I was told in sobriety.
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  If I'm struggling, pick up the phone before you pick up that
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  first drink and that can probably save your life.
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  You know someone will come and see you or you or they'll talk
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  me down to to reality again you know so so whatever happens, you
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  know doesn't matter if your bum's on fire.
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  Don't pick up the first drink, ring someone up.
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  Ask for help. That was one of the hardest
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  things I had to do was ask for help.
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  I'd never asked for help in my life but when I did that help
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  came and I became teachable and and through the members of a a,
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  oh if I've been able to stay sober.
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  So guys if you're you know, if you're struggling with this
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  stuff just put your hand up and say OK I need some help.
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  Give Alcoholics Anonymous a go. And what do you got to lose?
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  You know, I never had I I'd already lost most things in my
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  life. I had material stuff, but I had
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  no life. So that help came when I asked
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  for it. And that's one of the biggest,
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  hardest things I've ever had to do, is ask for help.
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  But when I did, it came, and it came freely and lovingly from
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  the members of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  So if you're struggling, make that phone call, get to that
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  meeting and see how you go. You got nothing to lose.
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  All the best, folks. Bye.
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  We have local meetings for the full week in the local area.
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  Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00, Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00,
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  Wednesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00, Thursday is 2 Wells at
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  8:00, and Friday is Salisbury at 8:00.
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  There's a meeting at Devron Park at 12:00, and on Sunday there's
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  a meeting in Salisbury at 7:00 and many other meetings in the
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  area. For details of your local
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  meetings, please phone 1300 double 22222.
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  And once again, if anyone you know is struggling with alcohol
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  issues, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222,
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  the website isaasa.org dot AU.