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Our Wives Kick Us Out Of Our Houses After Importing Them From Nigeria - Diaspora Men Lament · DidiLawren

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  Hello and welcome back to another episode of bands with
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  Lorenzo. For today's episode is going to
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  be a reaction video to some of the videos I've been watching
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  online. Now, he a broad audience,
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  Nigerians living in diaspora, both men and women.
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  They've been complaining about their relationship.
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  Like there are so many cases of marriage breakup divorce
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  separation. Ins, and what have you?
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  Now, the major thing that is happening is most men who go to
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  Nigeria to marry wives, they bring them here with the, you
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  know, one of the reasons why they go to Nigeria to Mario have
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  let's start from there is because they feel that women in
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  diaspora that their eyes, don't see a the ones women that they
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  can control. They want you.
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  Some of these were actually go to the villages to marry just
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  made. Clear.
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  So they don't want people that are exposed.
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  They don't want women that can challenge The Authority, they
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  want. They basically want to marry
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  their mothers. Some of these people come from
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  homes where they are father, their dad never did anything.
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  They just sit down cross their legs, the women cook clean, take
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  care of the kids. Some of these men all the see
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  there that do is to provide for the family.
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  And what we're talking about providing for the family is not
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  like Like, you know, these men, they are bringing in truckloads
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  of money. They are bringing the bare
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  minimum the boats, they will not allow their wives to do
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  something substantial because they feel that the men, our
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  demand is supposed to be the breadwinner.
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  So, regardless of the wife's qualification, most of these
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  people actually make their wives housewife.
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  So this is just a background to give you some kind of context
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  where these men are coming from. So when they travel and they
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  want to marry They look at women in diaspora mean these women are
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  working any money. So they think, okay, I cannot
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  control this one because it's in for them control is all about
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  being the provider, to be the man is all about providing for
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  the family and they look at this women and they're like, okay
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  these women, they are already providing for themselves so I
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  don't have that control over them.
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  So what they do is they go back to Nigeria, they feel, you know,
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  some of these would have traveled for a long time so they
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  think They don't understand that this generation.
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  Now, we grew up with social media, we see things on social
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  media. So even if you're going to the
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  Village to marry somebody, there is a 99% chance that this person
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  has been on social media on Facebook and Instagram.
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  They have seen the lifestyle so you thinking, okay, they are
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  still raw unrefined or you know they goes let me just go to the
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  villages to marry these people thinking they are going to have
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  that control over them and They bring them here and these women
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  are like thinking. I've been on social media have
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  been on Facebook. I've seen that women come walk,
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  women have rights and then you're trying to put them in a
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  box. Some of these women, they don't
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  agree with it. And most cases this bring a
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  whole lot of abuse. Brings a whole lot of violence
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  in the family and the marriage, the women.
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  Some of them actually end up leaving the house because some
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  of these women are not enlightened and And what they do
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  is actually when they buried these women, they actually catch
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  them and they don't allow them to mix.
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  It will tell you, I don't go out with this remain in our product
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  out, there are all these and they're older, they're all
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  single mothers, they don't like family, they will cook up
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  stories and give these women. So this women try to avoid
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  people so when they actually go out there and see that things
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  are not the way that their husbands are portraying them to
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  be some of them go to shelter, leave the marriages, go to
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  shelter. And from there start building
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  the Lives. Some of these women you want the
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  eye to catered and won't have children, they actually stay or
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  maybe they met somebody who actually advise them.
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  They stay fight for the properties.
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  And, you know, when marriages and if you have children, the
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  authorities are not just going to throw your wife and kids out
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  of the house. Just because you're the one that
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  bought the house, we are going to consider the kids first.
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  So you the man is going to be the ones to leave the house.
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  And some of these cases the been don't allow their wives It's
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  work. So, even after leaving the
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  house, the video want to be paying the rent or the mortgage.
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  If that is the case and these men, they've been coming out on
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  the big complaint, they've been complaining online or my wife
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  kicked me out of the house or my wife.
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  You know, I brought my wife from Nigeria and then now she has
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  conniving people, single parents, they advise time and
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  now she is not living in my house.
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  Now, I am not living on the street while I am still.
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  Paying the bills. I am still paying the rent.
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  Like there's been so many videos now, I want to be fair because
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  you know, we talked about men, not speaking out.
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  We talk about men, always being quiet and boy, did mean talking,
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  I think it's gotten to a point where I mean nobody.
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  They like anybody. That is going to Nigeria right
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  now to marry you wife thinking I am marrying.
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  Somebody who's going to be? Submissive?
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  I am. Marrying.
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  Somebody who is a traditional African or Nigerian wife?
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  It will shock you ego shock you because it's a globalized world.
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  Every everything is happening. People stay on social media.
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  And remember everybody in that Aspera is sharing their stories
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  online on Instagram and Tick-Tock on Twitter or
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  Facebook. So even if you think they don't
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  know anything, the reality is they even know more than us
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  because By the time you watch 56, people tell their stories.
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  You in fact, you have more information that somebody that
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  is just living in the, in, in diaspora, and just living on
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  their own terms. Now, when this put all these
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  stories together, they have an idea even more than some people
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  in diaspora. So if some of these men are
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  going back home to date on married, of course, they are
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  going to be submissive at first because I mean, everybody now is
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  trying to Jack my from Nigeria. So there's nobody That you're
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  going to go and mix now. And I will tell you now know,
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  basically, kiss your ass until you get married to them and on
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  to bring them over now, listening to all this, you know,
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  main complaint online. I can literally categorize them
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  into two categories. The one that go to Nigeria to
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  marry their wives, they take credit card in married them,
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  bring them over. And what they want to do is for
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  these women to actually help them pay off these bills.
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  Because I mean, it's not cheap is not cheap going to Nigeria to
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  marry a wife and bring them here or Mario husband and bring them
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  here. So, as long as they're
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  concerned, some of these women complain that these men, the
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  work, and all they do is just to give this man, the paycheck and
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  the man just give them maybe a hundred pound per month from
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  their hard-earned money. But one thing they don't
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  understand is it's not cheap to go.
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  To Nigeria, marry somebody now, I think there's a breaking
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  communication there because even if the man is telling the wife
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  that he took some loan may be roughly 10,000 pounds, who
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  process and documents and bring her over.
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  And she needs to walk two pair of that to pay off that debt.
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  That woman is not going to understand because according to
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  how you live in Desperate, you should have the money to
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  process. My documents.
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  You should have the money to bring me.
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  So, why am I coming to work and pay all these things.
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  So resentment comes in in that aspect because as far as they're
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  concerned, they are coming here to elevate their family
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  situation. Help them, you know, work get
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  money, sent back home. Just the way you've been doing
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  since you're here. So everybody has an agenda,
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  everybody has a plan. So if you're not marrying,
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  Somebody's Daughter or somebody is sown, and then you're
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  thinking that they are going to fit into your perfect plan.
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  Of helping you pay out loans. It's not it's not going to work,
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  it's not going. Unless you have a very
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  understanding person, unless you've had a phone conversation
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  with that person to let them understand.
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  Even when you having an open conversation, do they understand
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  most times people need to live through situations for them to
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  really understand. It takes very few percentage of
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  these people understand what the men or the women are trying to
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  explain to them which Very few actually work through their
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  differences and gets, you know, over the line.
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  Now, the next category are men who come into this country that
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  we do security. They've been doing Uber driving.
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  They don't, they don't do anything beyond that.
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  They work long hours, they work long shifts, you know, double
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  shift triple shifts, just to get some money and during their
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  younger years. Maybe these people coming when
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  they wear in their mid 20s. Early 30s. 80s and now they're
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  in their 40s and they realized that.
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  Okay, I cannot do this for the rest of my life.
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  I need somebody that's going to help me.
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  So they go to Nigeria, damari younger women, they bring them
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  here. The pay for they are not seen
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  education. They go to school and once, and
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  when they were doing all this, when women are going through
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  this educational process, these men are still doing their Uber
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  driving. This man has to do their
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  security, they are not even ready to have any.
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  Like, Themselves. As far as they are concerned,
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  their wife is their retirement plan.
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  So these women when they were going to all these schools, they
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  are kind of second. Although yet they are still
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  having children, they are taking care of the family.
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  They're doing everything while the man.
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  All his responsibility is just to go out there work and bring
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  money wild woman is going to school working taking care of
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  I'm issues doing a lot and these men will not even come back home
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  to try and even help with the kitchen or help with the kids
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  help. Some of these men would not even
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  take their children to practice, because as far as they're
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  concerned, that is your job, you know?
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  And when these women actually go through all this, a get
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  qualifications, start. Working this mind, still expects
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  how to do all these things that she's been doing.
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  And when she cannot do those things or what should require
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  more from them, you know, how could your children or help with
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  the food or help me clean? They are Has changed since she
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  got the job so they walk in as the North or South, I walk in
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  and I see she has changed. She no longer have respect since
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  she bothering you. No vaccine.
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  She's an any more than I am. She has changed, she did not
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  change. You refuse to change.
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  You refuse to move with time. And if that woman now decide to
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  leave the house or, you know, because most of our most time
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  what happens is when these women these men when they are working
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  any money, The or the investment is going back to Nigeria, the
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  not even thinking about the altitude, our children's future,
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  how they're going to pay for education or they are busy
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  paying for everybody. Back home, they are busy
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  building houses. They are busy playing gods in
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  Nigeria. So when these women, they see
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  all these things, some of them even try to make their husbands
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  invest. Some of them, we won't try to
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  make their husband by properties, but this man will
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  say, no, it is Nigeria. They are investing in Nigeria.
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  They cannot combine invest in the, in the UK.
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  Ah, so that they will have issues and then you wouldn't
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  move out of the house. So, 90% of the time, the burden
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  falls on the woman to save money and buy property because she
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  knows the value of, you know, investing in diaspora.
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  But these men, they know that if anything happens, there is more
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  likely that the woman moved and the kids will be in the house,
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  so they don't even want to do all these Investments.
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  Now when the woman actually go to school, get or
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  disqualification start Taking save money and get a mortgage.
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  Of course, the money still going to be there.
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  As long as his, I mean, the thing is this may not have his
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  parents but when was it comes to mortgage, they feel entitled
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  most of these men. What they complain about is the
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  house is actually the house. Let's say if they were in a
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  relationship and marriage and then they were renting a place
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  and pain. You are paying bills, your pain,
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  the reins They will not have any problem with that as long as
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  everybody is just going empty-handed, they don't have
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  issue with that. But once these women are able to
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  save money getting mortgage and then you're still the bills.
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  In fact, you're paying less Bill than you're going to pay when
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  you're renting and then, you know, when that relationship or
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  marriage and and the man has to move out of the house, these are
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  the men that come online and complete, ask them is your pain.
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  Me, the house, they will start giving you all sorts of story.
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  I was 20, I was paying the rent for us to be able to save that
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  money. I was the one paying the rent, I
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  was wondering this. I was wondering that Nigerian
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  Men Who start thinking there is going to as is going to
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  continue. It's not going to end.
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  I mean we are going to always see people complain online women
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  that were brought from Nigeria complaining about, you know, the
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  Situation's. They are their husbands are
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  putting them through in this country and also What ways We
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  complain about the boss women from Nigeria and they did them
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  dirty. It is always going to be there.
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  What I always tell people is regardless of the relationship,
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  you're in regardless of the marriage or in improve yourself.
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  I mean, even if there are two people that okay husband is busy
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  doing Uber doing security, relaxing and wife is busy doing
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  menial jobs, cleaning and all that they fit each other.
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  They because these two people have, you know, resigned their
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  faith, Living in here in the bottom end of the spectrum, no
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  problem. But if you're married to
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  somebody that evil, that person goes to school, get skills,
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  learning skills, learning different things.
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  And then progressing through the career ladder and then you just
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  there sitting down, you're just be security.
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  Listen II don't have any problem with security, I don't have any
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  problem with Uber drivers, but if you are going to marry a
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  woman that's Is going to progress and you are just there,
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  you have to be ready to kind of. And at that point she will be
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  pay most of the bills. So you are not going to have
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  that traditional family where you're just going to go to work
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  and then come back and sit down. No, you have to contribute other
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  ways. You have to help maybe with
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  children. You have to help me be with
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  house. You have to help me bi-weekly
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  see as long as you're willing to.
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  To help, maybe you can even decide.
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  Okay, she says that you're not even cleaning this house.
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  Probably just stop doing it or, you know, but that's you have
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  made that effort. You have made your shoe that you
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  want to help. They will not be that problem
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  when you're sitting now, you come back after driving you by
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  you come back, cross your leg and she has gone to work.
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  Maybe I see nothing. She has end twice as much as you
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  vent, and she's coming back going into the kitchen, picking
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  the children from School cooking for them doing their homework,
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  trying to run around, put them in bed and you're just sitting
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  down crossing your leg. That relationship is not going
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  to Grant marriage is not married, you crash, and you're
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  going to leave that house, Iowa to come back online and complain
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  about it, whether man or woman, that is the situation.
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  So my point here is regardless of where you are.
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  Whether Nigeria weather in does for, and you as long as your
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  partner is improving, Triana, Improve is your partner, he gets
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  why. So that one day, you know,
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  command and tell a story that touches the hearts, you know,
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  come and be complaining. That this is what after 20 years
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  of my life, this is what I got from this man.
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  Oh this is what I got from this woman.
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  This is our since all sorts of things.
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  Anyway, thank you very much for watching today's episode, please
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  like like like and share. Thank you very much.
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  Bye, bye.