Latest / None of Your Business Podcast / The Campus Rabbi Everyone Is Talking About Rabbi Dov Oliver

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The Campus Rabbi Everyone Is Talking About Rabbi Dov Oliver · None of Your Business Podcast

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  I'm living my dream. In other words, I didn't
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  particularly want to go into business and be very wealthy and
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  have like, you know, beautiful cars or watches.
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  Our entire upbringing was all about rebuilding.
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  And then you add the Chabad component, which was like the
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  the Bava tribe was teaching that we are going to respond the way
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  that the Nazis haunted Jews with hatred.
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  We're going to hunt Jews with love.
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  None of your. Business Oshi.
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  None of your business, Michael. It's the None of your Business
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  podcast hosted by Michael Anoshi.
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  Welcome back everybody to another uplifting episode.
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  You like that one? I like it.
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  Of the None of your Business podcast, I'm your host, Michael
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  Greenfield. With me, of course, is Co host
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  Ushi Schwartz. And today, we have with us the
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  venerable Thank you, Rabbi Dove Oliver.
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  Welcome to the program. Thank you.
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  Thank you for having me. It's nice to have you with us,
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  you know? I don't know if you know Ishi,
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  but him and I met the first time when I was sitting on the floor
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  outside a pizza store in protest.
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  That's that's how it went down you.
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  Remember this? Yes.
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  You know, why don't you say your perspective?
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  How did you first meet me? I first met you pretty much with
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  your buddies, like homeless people just sitting on milk
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  crates eating pizza. And I think you were
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  disappointed that Chai Pizza had taken out the seating.
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  And you said, we're still going to sit.
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  Doesn't matter if the seating's gone, we're going to sit.
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  And I walked past this strange group, and I got your names.
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  And then I sent a picture to Menachem.
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  And I said, who are these guys? And he's like, Oh no, they're
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  good guys. How many years?
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  Ago thanks menache years it was a few months ago high pizza
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  opened up just. Met each other a few months ago.
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  Yeah, maybe about. A year ago, about a year.
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  So I know Dove way longer than you, OK?
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  I know him for seven years. Yeah. 10 years.
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  Is it always dove or is it sometimes David?
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  It's dove for the Americans, it's dove for most people.
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  And my legal name is actually Dave, which is very uncommon
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  because most people who are called Dave, their legal name is
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  David. And I'm named Dave because it's
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  a funny story. I was born right after the
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  Entebbe hostage situation. My parents looked at the
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  passenger lists and any Jewish sounding names they separated,
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  wasn't just the Israelis anybody who sounded Jewish and they put
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  them on the side and the non Jewish passengers were were left
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  alone. I guess they figured with the
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  last name Oliver, which isn't too Jewish to begin with, if
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  they have Shlomer Dave Bear, they'll work out that I'm
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  Jewish. But Dave Oliver, I'll probably
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  be safe if there's another hijacking.
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  So they legally named me Dave. So that's my legal name.
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  Wow, so. They were, they were a little
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  bit of a stretch there. They were moved by it.
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  You're saying it was during the era where they it was the post?
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  Entebbe Panic, where the whole world, I was born right after
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  that, everybody was still like very much on their minds and it
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  came time to name me and they said we'll go with Dave Oliver.
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  So you were named out of precaution.
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  It was basically how you got your name.
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  Yes, interesting. It is pretty interesting because
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  I actually was in Israel recently and I met one of the
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  survivors of Entebbe and I tried talking to him on camera, but
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  he's we've got a lot of PTSD. And we actually have right here
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  in Muncie, one of the commandos, one of the soldiers that that
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  did the raid, he lives right here on Mariner.
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  And he's a great guy. And he has come and spoken for
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  our students. It's incredible, namely to
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  speak. His name is David Yaniv.
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  He doesn't love to speak, but you know.
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  David Yaniv No, No. David's coming on.
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  I mean it's. Yeah, you could have to.
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  You could give it a shot. I have to beg him for a while.
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  But is he related to Daniel Yaniv?
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  I'm not sure, I don't know. You know who Daniel Yaniv is?
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  No. I imagine they're related, I
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  think. But I'm saying someone who lives
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  in our neighbor that speaks to people publicly, yeah, is a good
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  candidate to be here because like I said, it's an uplifting.
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  This version of our podcast today is uplifting.
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  You know, the beauty and what we're doing actually in terms of
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  our podcast is that we're interviewing people from all
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  different walks of life. So sometimes it's uplifting,
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  sometimes it's magical, sometimes it's comical.
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  But. Sometimes it's musical.
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  That's true. That's when he falls asleep.
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  The musical actually I have Ataina, is that I've been asking
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  a client to come and play music at one of a hill cums.
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  It says on and off for the last year since we met.
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  It's nice to see it on your status, but we want you to come
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  and join us. Is this the same office where we
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  did the Yeah Mitzvah? It is.
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  That was a very nice but what? We should share that story with
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  people. I think that was a very
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  inspiring story. Yeah, that was.
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  We should talk about that. But, Michael, let's get started.
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  Why don't we let the audience know a little bit about Rabbi
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  Dove Oliver? No, no, no, you can't do that.
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  What's the story? Well, we'll get to the story.
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  You don't. OK, now everyone's she's on top
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  edge of their seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  It better be a damn good story by the.
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  Way It's a pretty incredible story, Rabbi.
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  Dove. Reb Dove.
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  Yeah, they get Reb Dove. So your full Hebrew name is.
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  Schleimer, Dave. Bear.
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  Wow. Beautiful name, Ben.
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  Castrillo, my father in Australia.
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  From Australia? What part of Australia?
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  Melbourne, we Americans, we don't know much about.
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  We don't know much about any of them.
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  Yeah, that's like a whole other part.
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  I'm not even sure if Australia really exists.
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  It's too far. I've been told that it's a real
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  place, but I. Know who?
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  We've been told by one of our superstar employees, Kim.
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  Yeah, yeah, but she moved there. Right.
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  Yeah, saying recently she she moved to Australia.
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  Yeah, she left. The only reason anyone would
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  ever leave Prime Source as an employee is to move to the other
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  side of the planet, Literally otherwise.
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  How much of he's being? No, I'm serious.
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  I'm saying otherwise. Otherwise they would never.
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  Left prime source unless they moved.
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  To the only reason why they would want to leave.
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  Want to? Yeah, I hope I saw that rewind.
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  If you guys ever make it to Australia, if you want to do a
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  podcast there on the other side of the world, I'll put you in
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  touch. No, no, it's not going to
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  happen. Yeah, yeah, we're going to pass.
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  Hard pass on that. But my father was born in
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  Australia. Oh yeah.
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  And don't ask me more than that because I don't know.
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  So let's start. We have a ChatGPT segment
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  called. ChatGPT says What about you?
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  OK. Did you ever look yourself up on
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  ChatGPT? No, my hat is racing.
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  Let's see. Let's see what they've got to
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  say. I'm sort of surprised I peg you
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  for the kind of person to actually check yourself up.
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  What? Does that mean buddy?
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  What does that mean I. Feel like you know people that
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  are, you know, with technology and are well aware of what's
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  going on in the world and Chachi Petit is a big thing.
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  Oh, I see. So you're pegging him as a
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  technology you. Think the casual person would
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  have put their name in Chachi? Petit I'm involved with people,
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  but not technology. I'm a bit of a dinosaur when it
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  comes to technology and. Well, that's.
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  Point to these things. OK, Alright, Michael Fire.
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  Curious if you need it or not, but that's a separate question.
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  We'll get to it in a second. So this is the only man who can
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  convince a teenager to put down their phone and feel good about
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  it? Honestly miraculous.
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  OK, this is already stroking my ego.
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  That's. What we're here for by what do
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  you think? Oh, she sits here every week.
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  Dove walks into a room like someone who's personally
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  responsible for half the Jewish world staying from Oh gosh,
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  because he basically is. I mean, they're really
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  embellishing. This.
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  This is ridiculous. Unbelievable.
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  You. You know what's funny?
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  Secretly he has a website that says all this, you know.
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  Oh my God, Germany said that about.
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  Me, yeah, yeah. It's like it is bio somewhere.
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  Yeah, yeah. I mean, can you just tell us
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  about that a little bit? What's happening?
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  What's your life like? Partly, ChatGPT is very.
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  Complicated, optimistic, and what's your life like?
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  What? What?
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  What are you doing? What am I doing?
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  I run an organization called Hillel of Rockland and we deal
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  with hundreds of beautiful Jewish students, alumni, young
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  adults, and we try and give them a warm, positive, enjoyable,
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  meaningful Jewish experience. That's what I'm doing most of
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  the time. OK, so for those listening, what
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  he said was. I do think I just sound like
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  ChatGPT myself. But I would say, I say that with
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  all my Australian friends. But you, you've Americanized
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  your voice already, your accent. It's.
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  Yeah. It's not his accent, you still
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  have it lingering there. It's very discernible still.
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  It's a bit of a bummer, I wish my Australian accent was
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  stronger but really can't really control accents.
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  They just, they do their own thing.
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  Do you speak to anyone in this side of the world that's on a
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  daily basis that's. From we have, we have a whole
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  bunch. We have a group called Aussies
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  in Exile and we have get togethers on Australia Day and
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  when I hang out with my Australian friends and when I
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  visit Australia then my accent comes back a lot stronger.
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  That's how it tends to be. But as you're speaking, it's
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  getting stronger talking about it.
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  There are certain Australians, I guess there's different accents
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  and different parts. That's so strong.
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  Sometimes it's nearly impossible to even decipher what they're
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  saying. Yes, like it's almost like a
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  different language. Like they're spin on the English
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  words with their with their accent is so heavy.
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  It's it's like, you know, Scottish people also, right,
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  like Scotland. It's very, very heavy accent
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  Irish people. Have you ever fought with a
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  kangaroo? No, but sadly I ran over 10.
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  Really. Yeah, that that happened.
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  So like, like, like deer, Yeah. It's like similar.
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  It's like, it's exactly like deer over here, except over
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  there you smile. It's a kangaroo.
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  It's the cutest thing. They're probably rampant.
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  I imagine Kangaroos, right? In the country, there's a lot,
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  there's a lot of kangaroo roadkill Wallabies, which are a
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  smaller version of Kangaroos, but yeah, yeah.
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  I don't feel bad about killing a deer, by the way, and a kangaroo
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  I'd feel bad about it to be honestly.
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  They're just they're, they look cute.
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  Well, when you start seeing thousands of them, you might not
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  feel so bad. OK, run that over.
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  Ironically, we feel that way about deer when Australians come
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  here, like when my family comes to visit or your friends come to
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  visit, there's. No, here in Australia.
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  No. There's like a universal thing,
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  like all over the world. Well, definitely not in your
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  backyard like we have in Muncie. But no, there's no there's deer
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  in the zoos. Definitely not a universal
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  thing, yeah. You tell me, like in China,
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  there's no deer. Now you know why he uses chats.
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  You can eat so much. That's strange.
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  You tell me. Like if you go to the zoo in
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  China, they have deer like in their in their cages.
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  Like oh look at that deer like. There's no deer just walking
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  around Australia. OK, so for those of us that
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  don't know, can you tell me what is Hillel?
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  What's NCSYI mean it's seriously what is it?
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  Just give me the overall picture if.
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  You know, like I can't come in at NCS.
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  Why? I have nothing to do with that.
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  I understand, but I'm saying when it comes to programs and
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  CSY Hillel, these are the programs that are usually
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  connected to campuses, colleges. Conventionally, you're right,
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  but our Hillel is very, very uncommon because while we're
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  based at a college, which I'm, I'm the campus rabbi at Rockland
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  Community College here for the last 18 years, it's not the
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  biggest part of our work at all. The biggest part of our work is,
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  is what we would call the Muncie community basically college age
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  or even a little bit younger and definitely a little bit older as
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  well, who somehow fall into our sphere and enjoy and benefit
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  from the different programs and the trips that we are involved
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  with. When I began here 18 years ago,
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  actually moved from Australia, I was running a program for
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  Khabad, was sort of like outreach in the Outback.
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  That was before I came here you. Guys have creative.
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  Names, but well, actually the, the technical name was Khabad of
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  Rara, which stands for rural and Regional Australia.
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  And basically for a few years we drove around in what you call an
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  RV, what we call a Winnebago and or caravan, actually, sorry.
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  And we visited Jewish people in the remote isolated parts of
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  Australia and tried to bring them back to, to Judaism.
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  After I finished doing that for a few years, my wife, who's
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  originally from Rockland and Crown Heights, said, OK, it's
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  time to move home. And we did.
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  And I took up the role at RCC. And that's when most of our work
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  was with college students and most of our work was with kids
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  from secular unaffiliated backgrounds.
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  I'd say the, the breakdown was about 8020.
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  But now our work is about the other way around.
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  It's about 80% kids who are from religious homes who are on their
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  own different journeys and having their, their, you know,
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  ups and downs and, and struggles and challenges and achievements.
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  That's the focus of our work now.
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  So it's really mostly a in reach organization more than an
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  outreach organization. You think that's why your
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  specific Hilo, Yeah, is much different than most Hilos.
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  But if you take me a step back, still, what is Hilo?
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  Hilo is a college organization where there's no direct
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  affiliation. So the people that run Hilo are
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  mostly more from liberal backgrounds, more progressive,
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  like connected more to like the Reform or Conservative
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  communities that the rabbis and the leadership and the clergy.
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  But there's also Modern Orthodox and Religious, but they're never
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  Khabad because Khabad has its own organization on campus,
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  which is also running Purim parties and Khandica parties.
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  And, you know, pesos say. The same demographic.
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  They're both competing for Jewish students.
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  OK, got it. And who, if you don't mind me
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  asking, started which program first?
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  Who came first to college campuses?
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  Just curious. I I believe here in America,
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  Hilo was around. OK.
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  If the Hilo's around, Chabad says, look, you know, we're in
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  this business also, so we might as well put our flag down
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  together with them and we'll do it in a little bit of a
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  different flavor and we'll attract the same people.
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  And some people will come to us, some people come to them.
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  The typical 2 shules on an island when one person's there,
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  right? One I don't dive in in right.
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  Something like that, although there are a lot of students that
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  go to both and that they go to different.
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  Now most college campuses have both in general.
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  Most college campuses have both, and also sometimes there's
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  another organization called Olami OK, which is also a
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  fantastic organization. Very familiar with Olami.
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  Yep. But I'm my.
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  Own What does Olami do differently?
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  Also similar style. I think it's different
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  background. But Olami does other things as
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  well. As far as I know, Alami is a
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  campus organization. OK, so Hill is a campus
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  organization. Khabad is a major organization
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  that has a. Campus division right, which is
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  called Khabad. And then Alami decided they want
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  to play in the field also. I guess I'm not exactly show the
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  history. OK, Alami.
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  All right, cool. At my college.
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  The good news is that there's multiple people that are
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  concerned about Jews all over the world and they're supporting
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  each other and that's amazing. So thank you for that.
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  Yes. And yours is different, simply a
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  because you're the Khabad person running There's Is there a
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  Khabad on your rock on campus? No, on my own competition,
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  Chabad will never send somebody out there because they have me
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  there and. I think it's genius to be honest
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  with you. I think every hill all around
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  the world should be run by Chabad to kill two birds with
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  one stone. Does that make sense?
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  Yeah, I don't think anybody's gonna sign on to that, but OK,
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  theoretically. OK, God, but in.
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  General, it's just not all. It's not really so much about
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  the campus fast. We have people rolling in from
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  like every walk of life. We literally just, you know, we
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  have somebody now who just started becoming a regular at
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  our Hilo, who just, you know, busted out of years of being in
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  Guatemala where, you know, as part of under the Lathe Tower
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  cult. He has no connection to RCC.
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  He's never been to RCC. He's not connected to Chabad.
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  He's not connected to Hilo. He somehow wound up at one of
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  our programs. Some friends brought him along.
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  And now he just came with us on an Israel trip.
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  He's coming with me on another Israel trip.
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  So, you know, he's he's, he's, he's become a regular.
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  Someone else left Lakewood, someone else left Passaic,
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  someone else, you know, just and had a friend that had a friend
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  and they get connected. So we don't really have any
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  guidelines for who we include part of our community.
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  If you're Jewish and if you're in this area of the world, and
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  if you want to come to our programs and if you can benefit
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  and if you fit in more or less, then we're happy to have you.
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  So you, you're also identifying something interesting and it's
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  fascinating, by the way. I love it.
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  You're, you're identifying something unique about your
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  Hillel. And you said it.
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  You're right. That's the way you're putting it
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  in A very good way is that 80% of the Jewish people coming to
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  your program, specifically in Rockland County, are coming from
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  religious homes because that's unique.
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  Yes, that's another. Which means most of the programs
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  around the country that have Hillel or Chabad, the students
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  that are taking advantage of it mostly are, you know, from
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  different reform, conservative, not religious and so on.
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  This makes it more unique. Yeah.
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  Or there are some, but this is one of the main ones.
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  There are some, let's say on college campuses, which have
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  very, very strong. Right, of course support like
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  Maryland has a university. People.
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  Binghamton. Right, Binghamton.
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  There's a lot of Orthodox Jews there as well that are thinking.
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  Of uni colleges. Sure, but that's a pretty
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  unique. So you have, I have a lot of
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  insight by the way, in my opinion, which is why I'm sort
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  of like fascinated about this, about where these boys and girls
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  are coming from and like the challenges that they may expose
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  to you about their upbringing or about things that you may know
• 16:24
  about. Although I have to tell you I
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  love and I'm inspired by the fact that you're able to pull
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  people in that know nothing. But I'm more interested
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  personally. And you know, you don't have to
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  go into this now, but I'm more interested personally
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  understanding. What do you learn from it?
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  What does someone thank you? You're a father, yes?
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  Thank God, three beautiful daughters.
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  Amazing, amazing. And you have experience in this,
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  right? You have knowledge in this.
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  We'll get into it in a minute. Why you got into this?
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  I'm curious, but you have an insight.
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  So I'm curious, you know, if you have to look into that world,
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  into that space and say, what could we, the religious
• 16:58
  community, I'm Orthodox, right? I'm Shoma Shabbos kosher, right?
• 17:02
  But the point is that, so we're following the program, we're
• 17:05
  part of this culture, right? So, but, but in our program, in
• 17:08
  our culture, in our membership group, right, there's, there's
• 17:11
  challenges and there's things that we can learn from.
• 17:13
  I think you have a very unique opportunity and hopefully skill
• 17:17
  set to be able to identify what it is that we can learn from
• 17:22
  your experiences. And I'm curious what you think
• 17:24
  that would be that a few questions asked.
• 17:26
  Yeah, it's a fair question, I guess if, if if you're asking
• 17:30
  like what can the broader established religious Orthodox
• 17:35
  community do to support these these this community of.
• 17:39
  No, no, I'm asking me as a parent, what can I do to learn
• 17:43
  to be a better parent? What can I do to learn to be a
• 17:48
  stronger connected parent with not only but myself and God, but
• 17:52
  my family? And what can I learn from the
• 17:54
  people that are coming to you and re exploring religion all
• 17:58
  over again, even though they've experienced it in some capacity
• 18:01
  and some are negative, I'm assuming that are coming to you.
• 18:04
  Many, many. So that's what I'm asking you.
• 18:06
  What can I learn from that? That's a great question.
• 18:09
  I think that, you know, you mentioned about being a parent
• 18:13
  and I think that in general, if we look at our, you know, our
• 18:16
  prayers and, and we often use the example of God as being a
• 18:20
  parent and us as being as children.
• 18:22
  And I think that we need to understand that that can't just
• 18:26
  be a concept that we say, you know, of in Marcano of in a
• 18:29
  Shamayim. If we try and relate to whether
• 18:32
  it's our biological children or the children in our community or
• 18:36
  in our neighborhood or whatever it is as parents, it will.
• 18:40
  I've found that I try to relate to, you know, my students are
• 18:43
  the people that come to Hill like that.
• 18:45
  And when you relate as a parent and you're in a good place as a
• 18:49
  parent, you're a lot less judgmental.
• 18:51
  And you understand that you need to be flexible and you
• 18:55
  understand that that you don't have the same rules for all the
• 18:58
  kids and that everybody can be at different stages and that
• 19:01
  sometimes you might even go over your own rules.
• 19:05
  So, for example, you know, in the Schwartz household, you
• 19:08
  might have bedtime as a certain time and furnace to be given in
• 19:12
  in at a certain time or whatever it is.
• 19:13
  But there'll be times when you realize that that's great.
• 19:16
  And I've established that. But there are times that it's to
• 19:20
  the detriment of my kid for me to insist on these rules.
• 19:24
  And I think that that's what's going on in the in the from
• 19:26
  community that we have to look at these kids and realize that
• 19:30
  we want to support them and realize the damage and the harm
• 19:34
  potentially if we don't. And we have to be flexible.
• 19:36
  The whole community has to be flexible the same way that
• 19:38
  Hashem God is flexible. So all of us, you know, grew up
• 19:42
  religious and we know that there's certain things, you
• 19:44
  know, we put them till in every day.
• 19:45
  We keep Shabbos, we keep kosher. But if we come to understand
• 19:50
  that there's been different pain, different trauma,
• 19:53
  different life experiences that have brought a person to a
• 19:56
  certain place, then maybe in that moment as a parent, we can
• 20:00
  understand that that's not what they need to do right now.
• 20:03
  Or maybe there's something that they can do now that isn't the
• 20:06
  way that we taught them to do it.
• 20:08
  So I think that, you know, trying to bring in that parent
• 20:11
  mindset and that flexibility is something that we can all learn
• 20:15
  from this particular community And and you know, also if we are
• 20:20
  patient. We can see that the results will
• 20:25
  probably be more along what we'd hoped all along.
• 20:28
  Like as I was talking to just before we came on the air, I
• 20:32
  guess to to Michael is that, you know, he once helped out with a
• 20:35
  a certain challenging situation that one of my students was
• 20:39
  going through and give it a little bit of time.
• 20:42
  I guess it was a little over a year ago and now that student is
• 20:46
  doing fantastically well and the standards or the expectations or
• 20:51
  the hopes that I would have had for her at that stage are
• 20:54
  completely different to what I have for her now.
• 20:57
  So I guess, you know, really flexibility and just being
• 21:01
  understanding is something we can always add to our toolkit in
• 21:05
  in every relationship. I love it.
• 21:07
  Flexibility is a big one, you know I hear and follow a lot
• 21:12
  from. I have a couple of, I would say
• 21:15
  mentors and people that I some, some people are mentors, they
• 21:18
  don't even know it. Like an Avi Fischhoff, you know,
• 21:20
  I follow a lot of what he says and, and I listen to it and I
• 21:25
  try to absorb as much as I feel is the right thing for me to
• 21:28
  absorb. And Sani Perlman, Gadalia
• 21:31
  Fenster, these are my fans when it comes to these types of
• 21:35
  topics of raising kids and being flexible.
• 21:38
  I'm hearing always a lot of unconditional love,
• 21:42
  unconditional love, You have to have unconditional love.
• 21:44
  And I'm thinking as you're speaking, if only we were more
• 21:48
  flexible earlier on, it wouldn't be as difficult to give
• 21:52
  unconditional love later on. Does that make sense?
• 21:56
  Yeah, it makes sense. And you know, so often, and you
• 21:58
  talk about Ivy Fischoff and, and these types of approaches, so
• 22:01
  often people, you know, judge the parents and they look at how
• 22:05
  kids have have been compromised or even messed up or, and I
• 22:09
  often say, like, what do you want from these parents?
• 22:12
  I mean, so often they're very young themselves.
• 22:15
  They're in the early, mid, late 30s, early 40s, whatever it is
• 22:19
  when they're making the biggest decisions that are going to
• 22:22
  affect their kids. None of us get formal training
• 22:25
  as parents. That's another thing which
• 22:26
  probably really should be happening in our education
• 22:28
  system, that there's literally parenting classes well before
• 22:31
  you even start looking for a shitter.
• 22:33
  You know, obviously it has to be done with the intelligent
• 22:35
  curriculum. It has to make sense, but I, I
• 22:38
  feel and, and I see also that the highest percentage of kids
• 22:41
  that really struggle in the religious community that, and
• 22:45
  the are the oldest, like the oldest in the family, first
• 22:48
  child, the second child, because there's some degree of
• 22:52
  experimentation and, you know, learning on the, on the job.
• 22:55
  So my heart goes out to a lot of parents who feel guilty for
• 22:58
  what's going on with their kids. Thank God we do have, you know,
• 23:01
  we have Keshunachi now, which is an incredible organization which
• 23:04
  a lot of religious communities getting support his parents.
• 23:07
  And I was just thinking of Vidalia Miller, and I was
• 23:09
  thinking that, you know, Keshunachi pushes that.
• 23:11
  Don't feel guilty, you know, And it's such a great message also
• 23:15
  in terms of understanding and so much to learn from them.
• 23:18
  They're actually having a Shabbaton coming up and they're
• 23:21
  very respectful of people's confidence of confidentiality.
• 23:25
  Right. I've even have friends coming in
• 23:26
  from Australia just to go to the.
• 23:28
  There's also a a rabbi and his wife that both together are very
• 23:34
  involved with Keshunowshee. They're like the leaders, the
• 23:36
  coach. They create coaches.
• 23:38
  The reason why it's worthwhile mentioning is because these are
• 23:40
  people that people can reach out to.
• 23:42
  Like, it's nice to know, OK, the people we mentioned before are
• 23:44
  people you have to reach. But to reach an organization
• 23:46
  that has a system and that you know, it's really nice to
• 23:49
  support groups and you can find them and so on and so forth is
• 23:51
  really good. How did you get into all this?
• 23:53
  Who are you? Where did you grow up?
• 23:55
  Did you grow up Orthodox? Yes, I grew up Orthodox.
• 23:59
  My parents are both Balacheva so they came to religion later
• 24:04
  they. From where?
• 24:05
  From SO they're both born in Australia.
• 24:08
  My grandparents were survivors and we ended up in Australia.
• 24:14
  It's actually, it's actually a story that I, I like I, I get a
• 24:17
  kick out of telling. So I'll just tell you, a long
• 24:19
  time ago there was a young man and he was living in Warsaw
• 24:24
  right before the ghetto was established.
• 24:25
  And he was running through the streets of Warsaw on a cold,
• 24:28
  dark, rainy night, I imagine. And he saw an old Jewish man,
• 24:32
  Hasidic man, being beaten up and attacked by a Nazi.
• 24:35
  And he jumped on this Nazi and he took the bayonet of his rifle
• 24:40
  and he stabbed him. And he left this Nazi lying
• 24:42
  down, a pool of blood. And then he carried the old
• 24:45
  Hasidic man back to his home and somewhere, you know, in the
• 24:48
  ghetto and delivered him safely to his family.
• 24:52
  Tragically, somebody saw what happened and went and told, you
• 24:57
  know, the Germans about it. And then there were wanted signs
• 25:00
  up for this with his likeness, and they were looking for him
• 25:03
  everywhere. So this young man, whose name
• 25:05
  was Shia, had to go into hiding. So he went in into hiding.
• 25:09
  And then there was this other person in the ghetto.
• 25:13
  Her name was Ruth, and she was very beautiful.
• 25:15
  She was blonde and blue eyes. And she was working in, like,
• 25:18
  the soup kitchen or the food distribution center.
• 25:21
  And this one s s card took a particular liking and kept
• 25:25
  coming back every few days seeking her until one time her
• 25:28
  friends told her when she came to work, so to speak.
• 25:32
  He's looking for you. He's drunk.
• 25:33
  You really better run because he's obviously got the worst
• 25:35
  intentions. So she went into hiding, too.
• 25:39
  And now they were both hiding. Respect to, you know, each one
• 25:42
  of them. And in the middle of the night,
• 25:45
  there's a knock on the door of this old Hasidic man.
• 25:49
  And it's this young Shia, and he's 19 years old.
• 25:52
  And he says, go call the father of the house.
• 25:55
  I want to speak to him. So they go, they wake him up,
• 25:57
  you know, he's nervous. 3:00 And that time you get a knock on the
• 26:01
  door. You think the worst, the
• 26:02
  Gestapo, who knows? And who's at the door?
• 26:04
  It's this man. He says, listen, I saved your
• 26:07
  life, now I need a favor. What is it?
• 26:11
  I want to marry your daughter. And that was Ruth.
• 26:14
  And they brought her. And 45 minutes later, they were
• 26:17
  married. They gathered up a million and
• 26:19
  they escaped. And there's a young boy who
• 26:23
  begged them to to take him along.
• 26:25
  And they said, we can't take you because we don't even know if in
• 26:27
  5 minutes from now we'll be alive.
• 26:30
  And they ended up escaping to Russia, where they were
• 26:33
  suspected of being spies. And they were stuck in a little
• 26:36
  resort town called Siberia for the next 5 years, but they
• 26:39
  survived and they ended up getting on a ship.
• 26:41
  And then they got off the ship. They saw Kangaroos as we spoke
• 26:45
  about previously. And that's my grandparents.
• 26:47
  And that's how we ended up in Australia.
• 26:49
  That's on my mother's side, my father's side.
• 26:51
  They're actually from Hungry Moonkatch and, and they made a
• 26:55
  beautiful life over there. And my parents were raised sort
• 26:58
  of traditional, but then they were through the messengers of
• 27:03
  the Lava Churaba. They both came in their late
• 27:06
  teens to become fully observant. And then they became big
• 27:10
  followers of Chabad and, and set themselves a goal to also help
• 27:14
  out. And they were involved in a lot
• 27:15
  of their own outreach work. In fact, my, my parents were
• 27:18
  running sort of like a, a roving Chabad program in Singapore
• 27:22
  before there was a permanent presence there.
• 27:24
  And they installed in me through everything that I saw a a love
• 27:29
  for this type of work and bringing, you know, Jewish
• 27:31
  people closer to their roots. And especially I grew up also
• 27:33
  with like a ridiculous Holocaust survivor generational mentality
• 27:39
  hanging over us. Like everybody in my class, the
• 27:41
  grandparents were, were survivors.
• 27:43
  So we were always thinking between the, you know, let's
• 27:45
  fight back against the Holocaust and let's follow in the Chabad
• 27:48
  thing. It was always going to be that
• 27:49
  we get into this type of work. My dream was to do it in
• 27:52
  Australia even though like you said, I've lost my accent.
• 27:56
  I'm very Australian and growing up in America was like
• 27:59
  irrelevant it. Was like what makes you
• 28:00
  Australian sorry. I mean, I, I, I love Australia.
• 28:03
  But what makes the person Australian?
• 28:04
  What makes you an Aussie? Just a certain easygoingness in
• 28:10
  a way, which is not how I would always be described as being
• 28:12
  easygoing, but a laid back enjoyment and, and, and just
• 28:17
  really the things that are in Australia, the people which I
• 28:20
  always grew up loving. Unfortunately, since October
• 28:22
  7th, it's been very, very rough and there's been a big change
• 28:25
  of, of the way things are over there.
• 28:27
  But it's not so much that I'm so Australian, it's that we didn't
• 28:29
  have any regard for America growing up.
• 28:32
  America was like something I know you saw like in, in in the
• 28:34
  movies. And I never ever thought I would
• 28:36
  live here ever. But.
• 28:38
  What movies? How did you see America as?
• 28:40
  I'm curious as a little Australian.
• 28:42
  Kid Eddie Murphy. I don't know this.
• 28:43
  Is what you looked at America as coming to America?
• 28:46
  America for us was Michael Jordan.
• 28:47
  You know, it was, it wasn't like it wasn't relevant.
• 28:50
  We we weren't missing anything. But so my, my dream was actually
• 28:54
  to run this permanent program of reaching out to Jewish people in
• 28:57
  remote areas, but ended up being here very happy that I'm here.
• 29:02
  I, I, I Love Actually really like Muncie a lot.
• 29:05
  I think it's a great place. I think it's a great community
• 29:08
  surrounded by beautiful nature. Every time I go into Brooklyn,
• 29:10
  I'm happy. I live in Muncie and, and I love
• 29:13
  what I, what I'm doing. But my wife and I privileged and
• 29:16
  lucky enough to run a home which is very open and, and, you know,
• 29:21
  constantly have people coming through that we just get to
• 29:23
  brighten up their days and brighten up their lives.
• 29:25
  So. You take your work home with
• 29:27
  you. Yeah, my work is, is 24/7
• 29:31
  really, but I also get to make my own schedule.
• 29:33
  So, you know, if I want, sometimes if I get invited, I
• 29:36
  can go out with your previous guests, you know, the legendary
• 29:40
  golfers, Mayor and O'Connor and you know.
• 29:43
  You're a golfer. Well, I wouldn't say I'm a
• 29:45
  golfer. I play golf.
• 29:46
  There's a difference. But you know, I, I make my own
• 29:49
  schedule, which is, which is nice, but you know, I try to be
• 29:52
  on campus as, as often as possible.
• 29:54
  And I also have to balance my schedule of the work that I do
• 29:57
  with all the fundraising that I need to do, which is a big
• 29:59
  challenge to, to cover our budget.
• 30:02
  And so I split my time between the actual events and and trips
• 30:08
  and finding the funds to cover it all.
• 30:12
  What's your budget like? It's a little over $1,000,000 a
• 30:15
  year and and I'm the only one really responsible for for
• 30:20
  bringing it in. It's not like we have a separate
• 30:21
  fundraiser or anything like that.
• 30:24
  And, and it's, it's OK. Sometimes fundraising is really
• 30:27
  not that bad. There's some people that get
• 30:29
  together with them, you know, once a year we sit down, we have
• 30:31
  a great chat and you know, they write a check and, and, and you
• 30:34
  move on. Sometimes we have events, we
• 30:36
  have actually an 8 town cats concert coming up now.
• 30:39
  And sometimes we'll have like some type of like a gala or, or
• 30:43
  you know, we have a raffle. We have different things, but
• 30:46
  overall it's, it's, it's not the most pleasant thing.
• 30:48
  I think one of the big challenges is that it can really
• 30:51
  impact your how you're viewed by the people can impact your
• 30:55
  friendships. You know, there's people, you
• 30:57
  know, if they're walking past me in, in Wesley Kosher and you
• 31:00
  know, if they haven't returned my call, they'll just quickly
• 31:02
  walk the other way or ensure they'll all of a sudden be like
• 31:05
  in the middle of, you know, suck at the Zimmer somehow.
• 31:09
  And that's, that's a bit of a drag.
• 31:11
  I really just wish that I had, you know, somebody who just
• 31:13
  wrote a check and covered the whole thing.
• 31:14
  And then I could devote all my time to, you know, just meeting
• 31:18
  up with students. Like any day.
• 31:19
  I could just meet up with a kid, have a coffee would mean the
• 31:21
  world to them. And I do when I can, I'll just
• 31:24
  listen to what's going on with them or talk with parents, you
• 31:27
  know, behind the scenes about what's going on with the kids
• 31:29
  and how we can help them. But the reality is that I got to
• 31:32
  do both. You ever have any your former
• 31:35
  students that somehow found success one day and they come
• 31:39
  back to you and they say, hey, I was a part of the system, I know
• 31:42
  what you do, Here's a check. I don't want to support it.
• 31:45
  You ever have something to happen?
• 31:46
  Yes, that's a good question. And, and it's an essential
• 31:50
  really, not necessarily like very big checks, but we have a
• 31:53
  lot of our alumni. And when I say alumni, they
• 31:56
  might still be involved coming to trips, coming on programs who
• 32:00
  give us something monthly, like we judge the credit card monthly
• 32:03
  or when we have a campaign, they'll actually take on a team.
• 32:07
  You know, that's how it works these days with these campaigns.
• 32:09
  And they'll make their own page. And that's actually really
• 32:11
  important because if they go and make their own page, then they
• 32:15
  reach out to their friends and family and say, hey, this is a
• 32:18
  big part of my life. It was a big part of my life.
• 32:21
  And those are funds which otherwise we wouldn't don't
• 32:24
  really have any access to it. So it's, it's through them.
• 32:26
  It's beautiful. And especially, you know,
• 32:28
  especially when it's kids who don't have a lot or don't have a
• 32:31
  big income, but we have, I have students that we are like all of
• 32:34
  them, Isa because, you know, they feel so, so grateful.
• 32:37
  Especially anybody ever come and give you like a, an amount that
• 32:40
  you were surprised by and you were like, wow, that's.
• 32:42
  You know what, yes, it just, they weren't very big amounts,
• 32:45
  but I was surprised that they found a way to give it within,
• 32:48
  you know what they're earning. And by the way, I wonder, I'm
• 32:51
  curious, the Hilo on Harvard, do they have like a $5 million
• 32:56
  budget because the alumni keeps coming back and giving them more
• 32:58
  money? You know.
• 32:59
  Chances are no. But think about it.
• 33:00
  Chances are the Harvard students are going to be making more
• 33:02
  money than the Rockland students, right?
• 33:04
  Well, in general, the Hilos all have no.
• 33:06
  Offense, it's just how many. Hilos are there.
• 33:09
  Not many, many hundreds. Hundreds.
• 33:10
  Yeah, hundreds. So every college campus has a
• 33:12
  Hilo? Not every, but most every big
• 33:15
  one in America. And there's hills also all
• 33:17
  around. The Chabad and now in Allami
• 33:20
  and. So the thing about the hills,
• 33:23
  they're asking is that everybody has a different system.
• 33:24
  Many Hilo rabbis, in fact, most have no responsibility for
• 33:28
  fundraising, all the Chabad do. But the hills are very often
• 33:33
  supported by the federation or some other like you know, Major
• 33:39
  well, like I said, we are in many ways a, a Chabad.
• 33:42
  We operate as a Hilo. When when when I came here and
• 33:45
  took over, the Hilo had been already established at at RCC
• 33:49
  and that was the what was in place.
• 33:52
  But. You got any resources from the
• 33:54
  corporation, from Hillel, from like?
• 33:56
  Yeah, yeah. Every now and then if there's
• 33:58
  like a certain event, like for example, when we when there was
• 34:02
  the 300,000 people went to Washington for the very big
• 34:05
  protest, you know, after October 7th.
• 34:07
  So they funded they funded the buses and they funded the
• 34:10
  everything that was needed for that.
• 34:11
  So here and there and then they have conferences, but I also go
• 34:15
  to the Chabad conferences like this weekend is actually the big
• 34:18
  convention that Kenneth's obvious spending.
• 34:21
  When is it? It's this weekend.
• 34:23
  It's actually started today actually, so.
• 34:25
  Oh well, by the time this comes out, it's going to already have
• 34:27
  been done because it's going to be probably last weekend, but.
• 34:31
  Oh, OK, so yeah, I've been to. November 13th.
• 34:33
  It's an amazing, amazing event. Yes, yes, yes, it is incredible.
• 34:37
  Should have been to the banquet. No, we should go sometime if.
• 34:40
  Whoever has never gone to this event this this event it's
• 34:43
  called. Yeah, Schluchem banquet.
• 34:45
  The Schluchem I've seen. Videos of it.
• 34:47
  Absolutely. Yeah.
• 34:48
  It clips. It's fascinating.
• 34:49
  It's. Very special.
• 34:50
  I don't know. Lots of people in one room, all
• 34:52
  looking the same. Everybody's dressed.
• 34:53
  Yeah, yeah, I was about to say I don't.
• 34:54
  Bet it was beards. I was literally about to say I
• 34:56
  don't think you'll appreciate it.
• 34:57
  And that's what you're gonna see.
• 34:58
  See. Black hats with beards.
• 34:59
  Get Me Out of here. How's the food?
• 35:00
  Great. I'll be very honest with you
• 35:01
  guys. I don't appreciate a whole lot
• 35:03
  of this and it's I know a lot of other people do and it's an
• 35:05
  amazing thing. I happen to appreciate Dove.
• 35:08
  I happen to appreciate you. What you specifically do now, I
• 35:11
  just want to go back to where I met Dove and under what context
• 35:16
  I met you at the time. I was introduced to Dove through
• 35:21
  mutual friends that we have and in the setting of he's a rabbi,
• 35:26
  but he's a cool guy. Also, he has an organization
• 35:30
  that he helps, you know, teenagers at risk.
• 35:33
  And I didn't know a whole lot about it, but there's lots of
• 35:35
  people like that, you know? So what makes him so unique?
• 35:37
  What makes him so cool? What makes him a better rabbi
• 35:40
  than than anybody else? But as I got to know him more, I
• 35:43
  realized that there was a lot of passion in what he does and
• 35:46
  that, you know, it's very genuine for him and very
• 35:47
  authentic. But I wasn't a fan in the
• 35:49
  beginning. I happen not to be a fan in
• 35:51
  general of what do you see kids that you know, are like 2528,
• 35:57
  They're already pretty much set in their ways.
• 35:59
  And I don't want to say it's a waste of time to, you know, try
• 36:02
  to bring them back to the roots. But somebody who's like very far
• 36:05
  off, like you can tell like they're almost spiteful.
• 36:08
  Like you have that open door for, like you said, all walks of
• 36:12
  life, but for for anyone. And you're spending a lot of
• 36:15
  time, a lot of money, other people's money and a lot of
• 36:18
  resources to pump into an individual that there's a very
• 36:23
  high probability that nothing's really going to change.
• 36:26
  And I'm sure you have a nice percentage where it doesn't
• 36:29
  exactly, you know, pan out. And yet you're, you know, I
• 36:31
  would give up after a certain amount of time.
• 36:33
  And I would like think of it as a waste of time, but but you
• 36:35
  don't do that. And I questioned you in the
• 36:38
  beginning. I remember I was like, almost
• 36:40
  like not a, not a fan to the point that I think that you're
• 36:44
  running backwards like you're, you go, you're climbing uphill.
• 36:48
  And what are you doing? Are you doing it for the
• 36:49
  enjoyment of it? Because you just like want to
• 36:51
  have fun and, and you're partying with these people.
• 36:54
  I'll be honest, that's that's kind of what I was, what I was
• 36:56
  thinking and. When you came to that perm
• 36:58
  party, you were like, this is a real party.
• 37:00
  Exactly. That was the first time, Yeah,
• 37:02
  when I, this is years ago. It's probably four or five years
• 37:04
  ago when I came to one of your perm parties at your house, and
• 37:09
  I just saw something else. What I saw was like a community
• 37:12
  of people that were looking for acceptance, like it wasn't so
• 37:16
  much about shoving down religion down their throat, like these
• 37:20
  people did something more than just that.
• 37:22
  And that's when it opened my eyes that, you know, this is not
• 37:26
  just an important thing. There's, there's something here
• 37:30
  that is good work that's, that's being done.
• 37:32
  And then I started coming around a little bit more and I started
• 37:36
  getting a real sense of what the mission here is and what you
• 37:39
  guys are doing. And I, I became a fan.
• 37:41
  And I think, you know, I donated a little bit of money, you know,
• 37:44
  here and there just because, you know, you gotta put your money
• 37:46
  where where your mouth is. Well, we know you didn't give
• 37:49
  him 10%, otherwise you wouldn't have to do fundraising.
• 37:51
  No, no, of course not. No, no, I don't think I made a
• 37:53
  dent in this budget that he has, but God willing, one day, but I,
• 37:57
  I, I really developed into a fan, you know, from someone that
• 38:00
  was someone of a hater. I, I total 360.
• 38:03
  I became a fan. Of maybe a skeptic hate is a
• 38:05
  strong one. Maybe you're a?
• 38:06
  Hater, not a hater Haters. There's a toned down version of
• 38:10
  hate that's not like, you know, but even and, and other
• 38:13
  organizations that are out there that do something similar to
• 38:15
  you, you don't always connect to it, you know, so much.
• 38:18
  I feel like there's, you know, I don't want to say more important
• 38:21
  things to do, but things where you can get more better outcomes
• 38:23
  quicker and, you know, you're invested in this.
• 38:26
  You do this. Like Michael said, you bring
• 38:28
  your work home with you. You know, his house, Michael is
• 38:31
  open non-stop and there's always people flowing through, coming
• 38:34
  in and out. Every Shabbos he has meals with,
• 38:36
  you know, 4050 people and he's, he's always just going to bat
• 38:40
  for, for these people in a lot of different ways.
• 38:43
  And it's really nice. It's nice to know that you have
• 38:44
  people like you that have dedicated and devoted your, your
• 38:48
  life to this, like this is all that you're doing every single
• 38:51
  day. You know, you've sacrificed, I
• 38:53
  imagine, you know, having your own business, having your own
• 38:55
  career and chasing after, you know, the big dream of having a
• 38:58
  big job and making a lot of money.
• 39:00
  And you're, you're doing something that's the opposite of
• 39:03
  a materialistic outlook. You're really tending to
• 39:06
  people's needs and you know, you're, you're caring for people
• 39:09
  and our people. You know, you're doing Sir, our
• 39:11
  brothers and our sisters. So this is really how I got to
• 39:15
  meet Dove and got to know him over the years.
• 39:18
  And I thought that it was important to share that.
• 39:20
  I think the viewers need to hear that because we need more people
• 39:24
  like like like Dover and the work that he's doing.
• 39:26
  And on this podcast, I think we've gotten to meet over the
• 39:29
  years, over the months, hasn't been that many years yet Feels
• 39:34
  like years, feels so many people.
• 39:36
  Just passed 70 bro. So many people like sat in that
• 39:38
  chair, but there's a lot of people out there that are doing
• 39:41
  amazing things, wonderful, and he's just on that list.
• 39:44
  He's one of those people. So just wanted to share my
• 39:48
  thoughts on on what you're doing.
• 39:51
  I appreciate that OSHA and definitely we've had a personal
• 39:53
  connection for for years, those good times on the pickleball
• 39:56
  court where you thrashed me. But I appreciate that.
• 40:00
  And obviously, you know, Haim and I know each other a lot more
• 40:03
  recently. But you know, I think it's
• 40:05
  really important to clarify that there is no real focus or hope
• 40:11
  in my mind as I. And my wife, as we interact with
• 40:14
  these people that they become, quote UN quote from again, it's
• 40:19
  not it's we want what's best for them, their mental health,
• 40:23
  emotional health and physical health that they should just be,
• 40:27
  you know, happy and hopefully productive and also just to feel
• 40:31
  secure and safe. A lot of the kids that we deal
• 40:34
  with are estranged from their families or compromised tough,
• 40:38
  you know, relationship with their families.
• 40:40
  And we're very honored that we can step in and, and, and feel
• 40:44
  that for them. But that's why so much of our
• 40:46
  work is not the standard, you know, like we do not have as
• 40:48
  many share them as a lot of other people who are running
• 40:53
  some type of organization like this.
• 40:54
  Because honestly, a lot of learning and davening is quite
• 40:58
  triggering for these kids. And there's no reason for us to
• 41:01
  be the ones that have to, you know, bring that up for them if
• 41:05
  they want it. There's plenty of shows in
• 41:06
  Muncie and there's plenty of, you know, that's not to say that
• 41:09
  we don't have, we have, we have a program called Charlton chills
• 41:11
  every Thursday night. And we start off with learning
• 41:14
  and then it turns into a cum zits and then whatever.
• 41:16
  So we're not like avoiding the typhoon and the real Yiddish
• 41:19
  guys, but we're also not looking to make it something which is,
• 41:24
  you know, our our main goal. And and to that end, a lot of
• 41:27
  the work that we do is just looking after kids, physical
• 41:32
  needs, even we have a whole like sort of division, which is what
• 41:35
  we call benevolent giving, where kids will come to me.
• 41:38
  Like Rabbi, I cannot pay my rent.
• 41:40
  My car just broke down and I drive Lyft and without it, like,
• 41:44
  can you help me? Like whether it's a loan or
• 41:46
  like, I know that, you know, some people are well off.
• 41:48
  Maybe you could approach, you know, when that's, that's
• 41:51
  actually how my first time that I solicited from crime was that
• 41:55
  there was a single mother who, you know, just had gone through
• 41:59
  hell and a very, very ugly divorce, a very difficult
• 42:02
  situation. And she needed to, to get away
• 42:04
  to like a program for like 1 of the Hagim, whatever it was, and
• 42:08
  he covered it. And that was the biggest relief
• 42:11
  for her. Does that mean that she went to
• 42:12
  any Sheeran there? Probably not.
• 42:14
  But she had babysitted to watch a kid.
• 42:16
  So that that's really what we're, that's really our
• 42:19
  priority over here and we're very lucky to be doing.
• 42:22
  It, I think that's what clicked for me, that was different about
• 42:24
  your organization is that there's no expectations.
• 42:27
  There is no outcome that we're looking for.
• 42:29
  We're just looking to give them relief, make them feel loved,
• 42:33
  give them a warm place and be a part of something and, and be
• 42:37
  accepting. Cause a lot of these kids, I
• 42:38
  imagine weren't accepted by their parents, by their
• 42:42
  siblings, by their community, and they feel outcasted and
• 42:46
  you're being inclusive. You're showing them that we're
• 42:50
  not going to demand anything of you.
• 42:51
  We're not no expectations. This is not conditional.
• 42:55
  And I think that's really what sets what you're doing apart
• 42:58
  from a lot of these other organizations where they have an
• 43:01
  agenda at the end of the day. And, and the people feel it.
• 43:04
  The people that come there, they, they can feel it and they
• 43:05
  can get scared off. And I think that's what's a
• 43:08
  really nice thing. And maybe, Michael, that's
• 43:09
  what's been missing in our communities for a long time is
• 43:12
  that, you know, the flexibility that you guys started talking
• 43:14
  about in the beginning, that's now becoming a little bit more
• 43:18
  pragmatic where we're starting to say, you know what, we, we
• 43:20
  have to incorporate more understanding, you know, we have
• 43:24
  to be, and that will ultimately give a better outcome, a better
• 43:28
  outcome. But for someone that you do,
• 43:30
  you're doing this now for a long time.
• 43:31
  So you've seen a lot, I'm sure you've had a lot of stories over
• 43:34
  the years that you could share with us a lot of personal, you
• 43:38
  know, stories from, from people. But what would you say is
• 43:42
  something that we can do for prevention over treatment?
• 43:46
  It's very similar to the question Michael asked earlier
• 43:48
  is like, what is that common theme that you're seeing from a
• 43:51
  lot of these people that are coming through your your program
• 43:55
  where it's like, you know, it's just a mistake after mistake.
• 43:57
  It's like, I see it all the time.
• 43:59
  And it's like one thing that you could put your finger on that
• 44:02
  you could pinpoint and say, if we can just be more awareness
• 44:05
  that this is something that leads to something detrimental.
• 44:08
  And I see it over and over. And like, you know, with the
• 44:11
  history doesn't teach you anything, you're bound to repeat
• 44:13
  it. Like, what's that?
• 44:13
  Is there something that really stands out that really can help
• 44:16
  people try to prevent from something like this happening?
• 44:20
  I want to be more specific 'cause you have real data to
• 44:22
  give us. Like you're seeing that, you
• 44:24
  know, a lot of kids tell you, you know, my parents forced me
• 44:28
  to go to shul and or, you know, I hated school.
• 44:31
  My rebbies were mean to me. I don't know what.
• 44:33
  Can I add to it a second? You said flexible, which is the
• 44:36
  answer you gave. I think what she's trying to do,
• 44:38
  he's trying to get dig a little deeper.
• 44:39
  Yeah. And he's saying, OK, flexible is
• 44:41
  nice. OK, great.
• 44:42
  Thank you for the, you know, for the general idea.
• 44:45
  Let's get a little deeper. Are there common denominator?
• 44:47
  He's asking, are there closely between, are there mistakes that
• 44:49
  are happening? Real mistake that people make.
• 44:51
  You can say, oh, if parents would do exactly this formula, I
• 44:54
  think there would be better outcomes.
• 44:56
  That's what he says. I don't think like.
• 44:58
  Abuse, physical abuse is probably the common theme today.
• 45:01
  I think maybe 30 years ago that was something that was really
• 45:03
  affecting the communities. I think most parents today like,
• 45:06
  you know, in our generation, maybe even like, you know, a
• 45:09
  little above us, We're, we're not hitting kids anymore.
• 45:11
  We don't do that as a lot. It's just the opposite.
• 45:13
  It's quite the opposite. What's quite the opposite?
• 45:15
  Meaning we're we're, we're being too careful coddling.
• 45:18
  Exactly. Yeah, it could be almost
• 45:19
  extremely, not only we're not hitting, we're actually
• 45:22
  coddling. We're going above and beyond,
• 45:23
  yes. So I don't think that's what it
• 45:25
  is, right. So what are we seeing that like
• 45:27
  today, we still are are doing something and and you're seeing
• 45:30
  it in different kids. Or maybe there isn't.
• 45:32
  Maybe you don't know, maybe there isn't.
• 45:33
  You know there isn't that thing. It's towards the end of what you
• 45:36
  were saying that, you know, I definitely don't have any
• 45:38
  magical answer. I think that we're doing our
• 45:43
  best. A lot of people, everybody, most
• 45:45
  people mean well. I mean, there are cases which
• 45:46
  are really, really horrific where there's, you know, abuse
• 45:49
  of all different types. And you know, and like you said,
• 45:51
  we do have to add the flexibility, but ultimately, I
• 45:54
  think it's just a mindset that we have to have to try and push
• 45:58
  ourselves as parents, as communities, as schools to do
• 46:02
  better. But not not in a like a specific
• 46:06
  way that I can tell you this showing up again and again
• 46:08
  because if I went and gave you the reasons of why I see so many
• 46:12
  different kids have had a hard time.
• 46:14
  There will be a common theme of that when they were young,
• 46:20
  somebody ended up just making them feel not good about
• 46:23
  themselves. Somebody ended up making them
• 46:24
  feel. Do you get into these
• 46:25
  conversations with you? Like, do you just provide like,
• 46:28
  the environment for them to come and, you know, to feel welcomed
• 46:31
  and all? Do you actually get into, like,
• 46:34
  the stories and their histories with these kids and try to
• 46:37
  unravel like, you know, what led them to go down this path?
• 46:40
  Absolutely. I mean the once they feel safe
• 46:43
  and often even if they don't feel safe, but literally
• 46:45
  sometimes it's the first time I meet a kid because their friend
• 46:47
  said you know, you know, come by, you know, Rabbi and Chevy
• 46:50
  are good people. They'll just tell me they're
• 46:53
  that stuff right away. I was abused here.
• 46:55
  I was kicked out there. You know, this happened, that
• 46:57
  happened. So yeah, I mean, we're, we're in
• 47:00
  a setup where people are comfortable sharing with us.
• 47:02
  And we do get, I mean, we're very with the with the people
• 47:05
  that we have regularly because, you know, some people come by
• 47:07
  all the time, Some people come by occasionally to this, to
• 47:09
  that. But some people we know like,
• 47:11
  you know, literally it, it, it, you know.
• 47:14
  I know a lot of your students are going to be listening to
• 47:16
  this. I just want to be very clear.
• 47:17
  We're not looking for, you know, stories.
• 47:20
  We're looking for anecdotes that can help to learn for the
• 47:24
  future. And you, you started saying
• 47:26
  something very important, I believe.
• 47:27
  I want to go back to that for a second.
• 47:28
  And that is the self-confidence and the I forgot how you put it
• 47:33
  a minute ago. You said a certain thing in
• 47:34
  terms of putting down or they're not feeling.
• 47:38
  What was the words that you used before?
• 47:39
  I don't remember what it was you.
• 47:40
  Said I'm not sure exactly, but I would just say we've got we've
• 47:42
  got to build kids app, right? And if you know, The thing is
• 47:45
  like this, you know, you don't need a license to become a
• 47:49
  parent. You need a license to drive a
• 47:50
  car and to do a million other things.
• 47:52
  But we just become parents like that.
• 47:54
  I, I really do believe, well, it's free.
• 47:55
  I know you're looking for like a certain concept and I wish I
• 47:58
  could be more specific, but there just needs to be and it's
• 48:01
  coming in. It is coming in.
• 48:03
  There needs to be a change of culture where we we already
• 48:05
  start raising our kids that you're going to be parents and
• 48:08
  also that you're going to be spouses.
• 48:10
  Because like so much of what I'm doing, like I grew up 20 kids in
• 48:14
  my class. One kid got divorced in 12th
• 48:17
  grade, 11 kids, parents got divorced, right.
• 48:19
  But you know, now, like such a high percentage of the kids that
• 48:23
  I'm dealing with, they're dealing, you know, with the
• 48:26
  parents. So divorce or sometimes the
• 48:27
  parents are not divorced, but they wish they were.
• 48:29
  That's everything. So if we can as a community like
• 48:31
  tap in, you know, because we're very, very, very mock bid on all
• 48:35
  types of, you know, doing out, you know, Daffy and me and we're
• 48:38
  doing a schmansal lush and we're doing all types of campaigns.
• 48:40
  But I really think we have to understand that to stop seeing
• 48:44
  the pain that we see going on out there.
• 48:46
  We have to protect kids because if a kid is is is negatively
• 48:50
  affected when they're young, it's going to have a big impact.
• 48:51
  It's like a it. Always does.
• 48:53
  Yeah, it's like when a tree is growing, you know, and it's
• 48:56
  young and it's a sapling, it gets trampled on.
• 48:58
  It's it's going to, it's going to compromise and it might still
• 49:00
  end up doing great. So I just think it's an overall
• 49:04
  awareness that we all have to, you know, parents, you know,
• 49:08
  community leaders, principals, everybody to try and just be
• 49:12
  more gentle. Yeah, be more gentle in the way
• 49:15
  the different kids. Imagine are actually pretty
• 49:16
  healthy in general. It's not necessarily just, you
• 49:19
  know, they're maybe not into religion.
• 49:21
  They're having like that's their their area that they're
• 49:23
  distancing themselves from, right, But they have good lives
• 49:26
  overall. You know, they're anybody
• 49:28
  married like as a couple that comes to you like what type of,
• 49:32
  you know, range of people do you have that that are coming.
• 49:35
  And some of them are also religious and happy.
• 49:38
  It's not like I'm only dealing with people that are, you know,
• 49:40
  to, to. This.
• 49:41
  If they're religious and happy, what?
• 49:42
  Are they getting so if you're 23 years old or 25 or 19 and you
• 49:46
  live in Muncie, there isn't really a lot going on like
• 49:50
  events to go to. You don't want to go to you
• 49:52
  know, your parents show get together.
• 49:54
  Maybe you know, your friends, you know, all moved to to
• 49:57
  Brooklyn or you just didn't. There isn't that much else going
• 50:00
  on. Like like you said, like poor
• 50:01
  him, that party that you came to was the after party.
• 50:05
  We'd already had a party that night.
• 50:06
  That was the after party. A big party on Perm is 5-6
• 50:09
  hundred people, right, Because otherwise, if you're 22, where
• 50:12
  where you going to a party? If you have a cover and you're
• 50:14
  still part of everything and you still hang out with your shiver
• 50:16
  boys or your seminary friends is one thing.
• 50:18
  But basically a lot of those people come and yes, after they
• 50:21
  get married with we in fact, we just had an event not long ago,
• 50:24
  which was a couples only night. It was about 40 people.
• 50:27
  So it was about 20 couples. Some of them met at Hilo.
• 50:29
  Some of them, you know, were at Hilo and they got married and
• 50:33
  they came by. But a lot of those people don't
• 50:35
  have a community that they're so much proud of.
• 50:37
  So, you know, we, we really involved from a young age and
• 50:40
  all the way until, you know, people are still coming to.
• 50:42
  So we had a big chabaton and people brought their babies, you
• 50:45
  know, and, and for me, again, there's nothing that really
• 50:49
  knocks you off our radar of you being welcome.
• 50:56
  If you can enjoy it, if it's going to enhance your life,
• 50:58
  that's great. And, you know, it's great when a
• 51:00
  lot of those people come by. They are an inspiration on a
• 51:03
  peer level, right? To to others, sure.
• 51:05
  Because they're like, hey, you know, yeah, I I struggled when I
• 51:07
  was 1718, but now I'm married and now, you know, I have a kid.
• 51:10
  How often do you have these? Like where's your home base?
• 51:13
  Like do you have like an official like Hillel room where
• 51:16
  people can come at any time? Or is it only Shabasim like
• 51:21
  sporadic events like how? How does that work?
• 51:24
  That's a good question. So at the college, we have a
• 51:27
  lounge where a little kids can hang out and have coffee and
• 51:29
  bagels and just hang out in between classes.
• 51:31
  And then we have events on campus.
• 51:33
  But that's really, again, that's right now only about 15% of
• 51:38
  everybody that comes to an event is a current enrolled Rockland
• 51:40
  Community College student. So, but I have an office there
• 51:43
  and I have you have an RCC. Do you go there every day?
• 51:46
  Yeah, so that's your primary gig.
• 51:49
  You go into RCC and you're what, the official rabbi?
• 51:52
  I'm the campus rabbi, I'm director of the of, of the
• 51:54
  Hillel and the spiritual life advisor.
• 51:56
  I teach there sometimes also, but, but that's not what takes
• 51:59
  up most of my time. It's, it's, it's a base that I
• 52:01
  use in terms of events. So what happened was that we had
• 52:05
  a small, smallish home, a couple of bedrooms and a small dining
• 52:09
  room. And in 2000 and 18, we realized
• 52:15
  like, this is just not cutting it.
• 52:16
  You know, I had a neighbor who had a very big home and he would
• 52:21
  invite us every now and then and there we could bring like 40-50
• 52:23
  people, you know, and that was great.
• 52:25
  But then other Shabbat and we could only feel like 15 people.
• 52:28
  And I remember thinking like, if I invite this girl, she's going
• 52:31
  to bring her friend. If I write this guy, he's going
• 52:33
  to bring his cousin. And like, we just couldn't have
• 52:35
  that much was. Just going to fit selective,
• 52:36
  yeah? I had to be selective, which
• 52:37
  wasn't nice because I was. There's always a thing like, Oh
• 52:39
  yeah, everybody always welcome at the show.
• 52:40
  That's the antithesis what they stand for.
• 52:42
  The more the merrier. Right.
• 52:44
  So that that was really bothering me and was plaguing me
• 52:46
  in the back of my mind, but I guess I didn't really have the
• 52:48
  scope to. And actually what happened is
• 52:50
  that tragically one of our students overdosed.
• 52:57
  And actually at the levaya of the student, the mother was very
• 53:02
  came over to me and she was like, thank you for everything
• 53:05
  you've done and you're doing and everything and you need to do
• 53:08
  more. And I was like, wow.
• 53:10
  And actually that night I went and spoke to a friend of mine
• 53:13
  who's got a lot of capacity and I said to him, I think I really
• 53:17
  need to build a big, big house. And I think I need to be able to
• 53:19
  have much bigger Shabbos meals and I need to be able to have
• 53:22
  big events. And he said, I'll help you do
• 53:24
  it. And then I sort of went on a
• 53:26
  campaign and got other people involved.
• 53:28
  And just before COVID came in, we finished building and you've
• 53:32
  been to my home. It's, it's, it's, it's big.
• 53:33
  And we can have, we can have, we can fit the I mean, I've had
• 53:37
  small weddings, 3 different weddings in the House of
• 53:40
  students and Shabba Bracco Sonata and then our regular get
• 53:45
  togethers throughout the night on some of our get togethers, we
• 53:47
  can have 152 hundred 250 Hanukkah party will be like a
• 53:51
  few 100 people, like bohemian people.
• 53:52
  Yeah. And and that's, and so the the
• 53:54
  way we did is we identified the real work is not on campus.
• 53:58
  First of all, on campus you can't, it's a very sterile
• 54:00
  environment and you can't even like serve alcohol, not that
• 54:02
  that's like a focus, but you're inviting people.
• 54:04
  A lot of most of our community is 21 plus.
• 54:07
  So, you know, you need to be able to have a place where and
• 54:09
  also where people can just sit on the couch and hang out and
• 54:12
  often have events which are called for, let's say 8:00 at
• 54:14
  night. You know, I'll go myself to
• 54:16
  sleep at like 12 and there's still like 50 people there.
• 54:19
  And there's even been times where I've woken up the next day
• 54:22
  and people are still sitting and, you know, having the
• 54:24
  meaningfuls. How do you get the word out?
• 54:26
  Like how do people find out about this and you know they can
• 54:29
  join us? Like do you have like some
• 54:30
  networking or is it word of mouth like a friend brings our
• 54:33
  friend and that's how it grows like?
• 54:34
  Yeah, it's a lot of friends being friends and different
• 54:37
  families, you know, like we have people with like four or five of
• 54:39
  the siblings have all been through and have been and
• 54:40
  connected to Hello. But the word gets out and we,
• 54:43
  you know, we have a very active Instagram page and, and, and the
• 54:47
  word gets out. And what happens is that people
• 54:50
  will come who don't necessarily think that this has anything to
• 54:53
  do with them. And they'll often message me
• 54:54
  like, hi, my name is. I'll get ready to Hi, my name is
• 54:57
  Honey. Hi, my name is Mendel.
• 54:59
  Is it OK if I come? I have a friend that comes.
• 55:01
  How much does it cost? Is that like sort of tentative
• 55:04
  years later, this person is like part of the community, part of
• 55:08
  the the furniture, you know, and just like messaging, Hey, can I
• 55:11
  come tonight then? You know, so people really do
• 55:15
  get get swept in from all types of, you know, interesting angles
• 55:18
  and all types of interesting communities.
• 55:20
  And I think, you know, we have like a lot of people come out of
• 55:22
  Monroe. We have people come out of a new
• 55:24
  square. We have people come out of, you
• 55:26
  know, vision. It's and every type of.
• 55:28
  You have a wide range of people, both sides of the spectrum.
• 55:31
  I've seen it all. So it's it's wild.
• 55:33
  It's pretty crazy, but let me let.
• 55:34
  Let me tell you one thing about the other side of the spectrum,
• 55:37
  just because you know, we also have one of my favorite students
• 55:41
  who couldn't be further from the spectrum.
• 55:42
  So he is actually born in Algeria and he's Muslim and his
• 55:48
  mother's Jewish. However, she ended up ending up
• 55:51
  in in Algeria. Jewish.
• 55:52
  She's not. Well, he he's, he's Jewish
• 55:55
  Ilakli and he identifies as Jewish and he identifies as
• 55:58
  Muslim and he's one of my favorite people and I love him
• 56:00
  dearly. His middle name he.
• 56:02
  Has Muslim lineage, but he is Jewish.
• 56:04
  Whether? The Muslims would consider we.
• 56:05
  Consider him Jewish. We consider him Jewish.
• 56:07
  The Muslims consider him Muslim. His middle name is Muhammad and
• 56:11
  Rosh Hashanah. And I saw an A few years ago, he
• 56:13
  took on the name Natan Shalom. I took him to Israel, which was
• 56:17
  pretty crazy because we went on Birthright and they like stopped
• 56:20
  him at every single possible checkpoint.
• 56:22
  So he's coming from like the furthest furthest.
• 56:25
  Was he insulted? No, no, no, he, he's, he's
• 56:28
  gotten used to it and he's a great guy.
• 56:29
  So I'm saying a lot of our work is with it from community.
• 56:32
  But then sometimes we'll have also kids like, you know, we had
• 56:35
  this kid, he came by what's called new student orientation
• 56:40
  at the college and, and he stopped by just sort of being
• 56:44
  polite. And somebody said to him, one of
• 56:45
  my students was sitting next to me, oh, are you Jewish?
• 56:47
  You know, do you want to check out?
• 56:48
  I was like, no, I'm not really Jewish.
• 56:49
  I'm only half Jewish and you know, straight away when you
• 56:52
  hear that, you know, you're Chabad or you're from antenna
• 56:55
  goes up which which half exactly?
• 56:57
  And I said to him, which I says on my mother's side, but, you
• 57:00
  know, I don't really identify. I don't really practice.
• 57:01
  I said, well, let me just tell you something.
• 57:04
  You're as Jewish as me, as Adam Sandler, as, you know, Steven
• 57:08
  Spielberg. You're.
• 57:09
  There you go. You're one of us.
• 57:11
  You know, he's like, oh, I don't really know.
• 57:13
  And I said, look, there's no commitment over here.
• 57:15
  We're not going to do anything. But if you want, this is where
• 57:18
  the lounges come by. And he's ended up being in a lab
• 57:22
  with a Jewish student. And, you know, she brought him
• 57:24
  by and he ended up coming by and whatever getting getting
• 57:27
  involved. And then it was time for him to
• 57:29
  come to his first Shabbos meal. So I said, you know, this is,
• 57:31
  you know, I want to invite you for Shabbat lunch.
• 57:34
  Come to my home for Shabbat lunch.
• 57:35
  This is the time to be there at 1:00 PM.
• 57:39
  He said, OK, I'll come. He said, what's going to be
• 57:40
  there? I said there'll be other people,
• 57:41
  going to be like 20 people. It's going to be really nice.
• 57:44
  It's like, OK, I'm going to be there.
• 57:45
  What's the address? Fine.
• 57:46
  Anyway, it's our sharpest Friday, and the doorbell rings.
• 57:50
  It's 1:00 PM I'm like, who's here?
• 57:52
  You know, my kids are out. Whatever.
• 57:53
  I go to the door, and here's this guy standing there.
• 57:57
  Hi. What are you doing?
• 57:57
  He's like, what do you mean? Where's everybody?
• 57:59
  I said, I told you like 1:00 PM Shabbat lunch.
• 58:02
  He's like, yeah, but today's Friday.
• 58:04
  Isn't that Shabbat? So, you know, he thought it was
• 58:07
  supposed to come on Friday. So the middle of the day, that
• 58:09
  was the first time he put on filling in his life.
• 58:11
  You know, we put filling on him right there and he ended up, you
• 58:14
  know, coming after that, he came to his first circus.
• 58:16
  So Shoshanna and everything. He's married now.
• 58:19
  I think he lives in Elizabeth. He has three kids.
• 58:21
  Is is in my good share? What a beautiful story.
• 58:23
  In a Kylo. There you go.
• 58:24
  What a success story. So, so we do have all different
• 58:28
  types. It's just that we focus more now
• 58:31
  and that's who ends up coming that we don't focus.
• 58:33
  Whoever comes, we welcome them, but that's what we're getting.
• 58:35
  You know what? Dope.
• 58:36
  You get a lot of credit for that.
• 58:37
  You really do. You know, that's what I said
• 58:39
  before. You're doing really good work.
• 58:41
  It's for others. You're not benefiting
• 58:43
  personally. And you get fulfillment by
• 58:47
  making something like this happened, which was a great
• 58:49
  segue, Michael, into the story that I wanted to tell you before
• 58:52
  so you guys didn't forget. I'm very impressed.
• 58:56
  Yeah, I'm very impressed I'm here.
• 58:57
  So we at Prime Source, we deal with a lot of different, all
• 59:02
  kinds of vendors, all kinds of suppliers.
• 59:05
  One of our suppliers has an account Rep that manages our
• 59:09
  book of business where he's a great guy.
• 59:12
  You know, we came very close to him and we got close personally
• 59:15
  as well. You know, it's a great
• 59:16
  personality. And we became friends.
• 59:19
  And we only discovered then that he was Jewish.
• 59:22
  You know, we never actually, you know, bring it up with people,
• 59:25
  you know, what race or ethnicity or religion they are.
• 59:29
  But he told us, you know, in passing that he was Jewish.
• 59:32
  And I caught it, and I started elaborating and then exploring
• 59:36
  with him. And he knew very little, almost
• 59:39
  nothing about Judaism. Like, he knew us and he knew
• 59:42
  about, you know, Jewish people he comes across, you know, in
• 59:44
  the workforce. So I asked him, like, did you
• 59:47
  have any type of history with, like, you know, Hebrew school
• 59:51
  or, like, if you ever like, what is your knowledge about Judaism?
• 59:55
  And it was pretty much nothing. And he made a comment, you know,
• 59:58
  I've never had a bar mitzvah. I know that Jewish people get
• 1:00:00
  bar mitzvah. And it sounds exciting, like I
• 1:00:02
  would have probably enjoyed 1. And I was with one of our other
• 1:00:07
  reps at the moment, Karen, And she jumped on the opportunity.
• 1:00:11
  And she said, Austin, could we make you a bar mitzvah?
• 1:00:16
  And he looks like, what do you mean?
• 1:00:18
  It's like, it's never too late to have one.
• 1:00:20
  Just because you're not 13 anymore doesn't mean we can't.
• 1:00:23
  And he said, OK, I'm down. And now we need to start
• 1:00:27
  planning and we need to, you know, make make a, a mock bar
• 1:00:30
  mitzvah, a mock event. But at first it was first we got
• 1:00:33
  to get him on filling. We got to get him on filling.
• 1:00:35
  Who do I call? I don't call the Ghostbusters.
• 1:00:38
  I called the Volvo. He's he's the only rabbi I know
• 1:00:41
  that like lives for this stuff. And, you know, I felt like it
• 1:00:43
  was a perfect match, like he was, you know, exactly the right
• 1:00:46
  person for this. And Dove said right away, I'm
• 1:00:48
  in, I'm I'll be there. You tell me when you tell me
• 1:00:51
  where. So I had him come to our office.
• 1:00:54
  Austin and I had dove come at the same time.
• 1:00:56
  And Dove board is filling with him and he put it on.
• 1:00:59
  And while he was doing it, he was explaining to him, you know,
• 1:01:02
  why we do fill in and a little bit of the history of of Jewish
• 1:01:05
  people, which I was actually listening to and I appreciated
• 1:01:07
  it. I actually think it's very nice
• 1:01:08
  that, you know, we don't sometimes go back to the basics.
• 1:01:10
  And, you know, we take a lot of these things for granted and we
• 1:01:13
  ourselves don't know why we do and what we do.
• 1:01:15
  But it was really, it was really inspiring to watch the way the
• 1:01:18
  way you were doing that. And he can tell that it meant
• 1:01:20
  something to him, like he recognized that something you
• 1:01:23
  know of. Course, that's why today he's a
• 1:01:24
  MAGA chair. Yeah, not this guy.
• 1:01:28
  He's certainly not a MAGA chair today.
• 1:01:30
  Yeah. And then after we took after
• 1:01:31
  dinner and we invited. People, I remember I came to
• 1:01:33
  that you came to dinner. It was beautiful.
• 1:01:35
  We had balloons and we made a we made a bar mitzvah, you know,
• 1:01:38
  and appreciate it. And it's my understanding that
• 1:01:41
  he's kept in touch with you. Yeah.
• 1:01:42
  And that he's come to you for a Shabbos meal.
• 1:01:44
  We've been in touch. He's considering coming from one
• 1:01:47
  of my one of my Israel trips, but we have a nice connection.
• 1:01:50
  And not that this is obviously the goal, but you know, he also
• 1:01:53
  donated which, which which means a lot, you know, because that
• 1:01:56
  means that a person actually cares because people are very
• 1:01:58
  particular about what they do with their money.
• 1:02:00
  No, no. Somebody gives you money,
• 1:02:01
  they're very serious about it. That's when you know it's real.
• 1:02:03
  That's a nice thing. He's a really nice, yeah.
• 1:02:05
  Dove, what is your highest form of praise from all of this?
• 1:02:12
  Like what is your biggest reward?
• 1:02:13
  Like? What do you what is and and
• 1:02:14
  don't give something treasy like, you know, Oh, and I see
• 1:02:17
  somebody, you know, that turns their life around and I feel
• 1:02:19
  give me something like you get out of this, you know, even
• 1:02:23
  maybe on a materialistic side, I'm OK with that too.
• 1:02:26
  But like, what's the what's the real benefit here that you could
• 1:02:29
  say, you know, right? This is a nice little perk that
• 1:02:32
  I get out of this whole thing. It's interesting to ask because
• 1:02:34
  you know, you said before that, you know, like I gave up so much
• 1:02:37
  again, I could have, you know, pursued a career in business and
• 1:02:39
  I could have been materialistic etcetera.
• 1:02:41
  First of all, I'm I'm lucky that Hilo of Rockland, my employees
• 1:02:45
  pay me not, you know, a decent wage and I'm not I'm not
• 1:02:48
  struggling or suffering, but you know, I have to work hard to
• 1:02:51
  raise the money for my board to pay me.
• 1:02:53
  So that's a drag. But you know, so I'm very lucky
• 1:02:56
  for that. But honestly, when you say like
• 1:02:59
  this was always my dream, I'm living my dream.
• 1:03:02
  In other words, I didn't particularly want to go into
• 1:03:04
  business and be very wealthy and have like, you know, beautiful
• 1:03:07
  cars or watches that we were raised both the combination of,
• 1:03:11
  like I said to you, coming out of the, you know, destruction of
• 1:03:14
  the Holocaust, which is the biggest impact of my life.
• 1:03:17
  This was like, we just want to rebuild.
• 1:03:19
  That's that's what we were raised in a community.
• 1:03:22
  Melbourne, Australia was like 500 Jews before the war and
• 1:03:25
  50,000 after the war. So our entire upbringing was all
• 1:03:28
  about rebuilding. And then you add the Chabad
• 1:03:30
  component, which was like the, the Lubavitcher, I was teaching
• 1:03:33
  that we are going to respond the ways that the Nazis haunted Jews
• 1:03:37
  with hatred. We're going to hunt Jews with
• 1:03:39
  love. And that was like my first work
• 1:03:40
  that I did for a few years in Australia running, you know,
• 1:03:43
  driving around the country. So I'm looking for, you know,
• 1:03:45
  you didn't, who'd run away and try to, you know, help them to
• 1:03:47
  be connected. So I'm not I, I, I'm, I'm like,
• 1:03:50
  in many ways, living my best life.
• 1:03:51
  I, I, you know, sometimes people feel like, oh, you know, I have
• 1:03:53
  to make a lot, a lot of sacrifices.
• 1:03:55
  I didn't have to make that much sacrifices.
• 1:03:57
  And and it is. Enjoyable.
• 1:03:59
  You wake up in the morning and you're excited to go to work,
• 1:04:02
  right? And this is maybe, perhaps not,
• 1:04:05
  maybe this is definitely why are you being very effective and why
• 1:04:08
  are you good at it? Because this, like I said, I use
• 1:04:11
  the word genuine and authentic and I, I, I am 100% standing
• 1:04:14
  behind it for anybody that's watching or listening, This is
• 1:04:19
  the real deal. Like this is what you're doing
• 1:04:21
  is, is fantastic. Every community should have
• 1:04:24
  somebody like this that's looking out for the people that
• 1:04:27
  are closest to us. And I'm I'm a big fan and I
• 1:04:30
  think it's amazing. Yeah, I think just you touched
• 1:04:33
  on work, like to me it is work. I mean, you know, sometimes it's
• 1:04:37
  it's very hard work. The fundraising is a drag and
• 1:04:39
  sometimes just like the hours and not having so much private
• 1:04:42
  space. But you know, that's the classic
• 1:04:44
  line. They say like if you love what
• 1:04:45
  you're doing, you never work a day in your life.
• 1:04:47
  And I do love it. I also look at other people who
• 1:04:50
  are in my line of work and they have it a lot harder.
• 1:04:52
  Like even like I just spent last weekend, we had 2200 college
• 1:04:57
  students from all around America and the world at a Chabaton in
• 1:05:01
  Crown Heights. And, and many of these other
• 1:05:04
  schlochem, a part of what's called Kabar campus.
• 1:05:06
  They're dealing with kids who, you know, they sit there and the
• 1:05:09
  most they can do is sing him a tov or, you know, David Melcher
• 1:05:12
  soil. And they don't have, you know,
• 1:05:14
  when I sit with my crew, you know, like we can sing till the
• 1:05:18
  cows come home, you know, we can sit for hours and we speak a,
• 1:05:20
  you know, a common language, you know, we can be connected.
• 1:05:24
  And also as they grow older, like when I started, I was 28.
• 1:05:26
  All right, So, you know, now I'm 47.
• 1:05:28
  So like, I have students who are only 678 years.
• 1:05:32
  He's younger than me. And, you know, we have real, you
• 1:05:35
  know, beautiful connections. I'm watching their families,
• 1:05:37
  friendships, Yeah, watching their families, you know, grow
• 1:05:39
  up. So yeah, I'm very, very
• 1:05:42
  fortunate to be doing what I'm doing.
• 1:05:45
  I love it. Does the community get involved
• 1:05:47
  in a certain capacity? Yeah, it's a great question.
• 1:05:50
  We we do have opportunities for the community to get involved,
• 1:05:55
  like to host, you know, sometimes to host Shabbos meals
• 1:05:58
  or to sometimes gonna help out and and come by and and or speak
• 1:06:01
  or share or we have panels as as long as I'm speaking on behalf.
• 1:06:05
  Of a lot of listeners who live in the Muncie community, the
• 1:06:08
  greater Rockland community, that if we can help in any way of
• 1:06:10
  hosting or being part of an event, we'd love to.
• 1:06:13
  As we wrap up, we just have a couple of things that we
• 1:06:16
  normally like to do. So I just want to 1st ask you if
• 1:06:18
  you have any questions for us or we have to run off.
• 1:06:22
  So now is your opportunity. Don't force a question only.
• 1:06:24
  If you don't have one, that's fine.
• 1:06:26
  I don't have a question, just a comment that I've seen since you
• 1:06:29
  guys started. I just love you your dynamic.
• 1:06:32
  Yeah, like tit for tat, stepping, poking I.
• 1:06:35
  Don't know what you're talking about.
• 1:06:36
  What's he talking about? I'm not sure.
• 1:06:39
  I have no. Idea are we like oblivious to?
• 1:06:41
  I don't know what he's saying. I don't know.
• 1:06:42
  This is just us. Yeah, well then that's it all.
• 1:06:44
  Depends on the day, you know. But also, we both have a
• 1:06:47
  personality that we can say, like, just shut the heck up and
• 1:06:50
  then a minute later, just, like, brush it off a little.
• 1:06:52
  Bit that's that's a good skill in itself to be.
• 1:06:54
  Yeah, no, thank God. Otherwise I would never be able
• 1:06:56
  to put up with him. But right.
• 1:06:58
  I will not respond to that. You see, I'm going to rise
• 1:07:01
  above. You know what, you're growing.
• 1:07:05
  Wow, that's it. Mission accomplished.
• 1:07:08
  The other thing I'd love to do is just ask you who would be a
• 1:07:11
  good guest that you would recommend on the podcast?
• 1:07:14
  You know, we've been having some great successes with it, People
• 1:07:16
  who have been asking others and bring them on.
• 1:07:19
  And it started with Gershy Moskowitz who recommended Yasi
• 1:07:23
  Green and Yasi came on and we've had a lot of success with that.
• 1:07:26
  So who? Who would you?
• 1:07:27
  Who would you pick? He was a party planner for one
• 1:07:30
  of my first big events. Oh.
• 1:07:31
  He's the best. Yeah, he's the best.
• 1:07:33
  Well, first, I know that you've had some really great people on,
• 1:07:35
  so I can't recommend them. Like, you know, Lawrence
• 1:07:37
  Hadjioff, who's a big fan of and obviously Sunny Pelman.
• 1:07:40
  And we should have them both credible.
• 1:07:42
  They're both fantastic. Yep.
• 1:07:45
  If I would pick somebody, I would think that there's a real,
• 1:07:48
  in my eyes, legend in, in in the Jewish community of Rockland,
• 1:07:53
  and that is Alan Rosenstock. We often go by Tim Kashabas.
• 1:07:59
  We bring our students there. I've had many, many, many
• 1:08:01
  students whose families get support from Tim Kashabas.
• 1:08:06
  But also when I reach out to Alan individually sometimes
• 1:08:09
  about a particular crisis or a case, you know, he's always more
• 1:08:13
  than happy to try and meet with them and help.
• 1:08:16
  And I think he's got great stories and anecdotes.
• 1:08:18
  And he's he's also just a really, he's enjoyable guy.
• 1:08:21
  I wish I got to spend more time with him.
• 1:08:22
  He's a great guy. So that would be my.
• 1:08:24
  Amazing, you know, you know, well enough to give him a shout
• 1:08:27
  out. You know, he's he's the kind of
• 1:08:29
  guy honestly, he's he's probably busy doing such tremendous.
• 1:08:32
  I said right this minute, I wouldn't want to interrupt him,
• 1:08:35
  but OK, please ask him for us to come on our program.
• 1:08:38
  That would be fantastic. And we welcome you, Alan.
• 1:08:41
  You know, like you said, he's doing tremendous work, work in
• 1:08:43
  the community and so are you. What a great story, what a great
• 1:08:46
  background. Your your story of where you
• 1:08:48
  come from and the story of Ruth. I was like listening to like,
• 1:08:51
  you know, I felt like I was listening literally to like
• 1:08:55
  Navi, like a story that happened in history.
• 1:08:57
  And that's, that's what it felt like.
• 1:08:59
  And it's such a beautiful story. And so glad that you can share
• 1:09:02
  that story with us. And thank you for being on and
• 1:09:05
  thank you for our subscribers. And again, thank you to the
• 1:09:07
  Prime source community of people that really are the force behind
• 1:09:13
  all of this, Stefan and Will and everybody else that makes this a
• 1:09:17
  possibility. So we really appreciate it and
• 1:09:19
  all the subscribers and the the love and even a little bit of
• 1:09:23
  the hate. We have it sometimes, but we
• 1:09:26
  take it. We could do without it, but.
• 1:09:27
  Yeah, we take it in the chin. We learn from it and we grow.
• 1:09:30
  As long as it's constructive, we appreciate it.
• 1:09:32
  Even if it's not, we'll talk about it.
• 1:09:34
  And the main thing I would just. Here we go, the message go to
• 1:09:37
  the camera. This is not the message.
• 1:09:38
  I just want to say that whatever you're dealing with Oshi, that
• 1:09:41
  you have to get running. Everything should go smoothly
• 1:09:43
  and sweetly as best as possible. I got to.
• 1:09:45
  Run Dove, great job.