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The Fifth Hour: State of the Maller Union · The Ben Maller Show

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Speaker 1: Cutbooms.
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Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
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Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
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Speaker 2: of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
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Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
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Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
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Speaker 1: Wow.
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Speaker 2: The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
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Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
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Speaker 1: The air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maler
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Speaker 1: and Danny g Radio our last Friday podcast for the
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Speaker 1: month of February. Now, how do I know it is
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Speaker 1: the last Friday podcast for the month of February Because
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Speaker 1: this is the last Friday in the month of February. Hello, Hello,
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Speaker 1: only one more day after today to get through.
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Speaker 2: Wow.
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Speaker 1: Fired up, fired up as we walked in to the
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Speaker 1: remote studio here after doing the overnight show, surviving the
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Speaker 1: audio battlefield, exploring every avenue through the overnight, then taking
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Speaker 1: a brief hiatus and wandering around clearing my head to
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Speaker 1: walk back in to the remote studio to provide you
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Speaker 1: this podcast. Now on the Friday edition of The Fifth Hour,
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Speaker 1: which you are currently locked in on, we have the
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Speaker 1: state of the Malor Union by request, the state of
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Speaker 1: the Malor Union by request. Also food e Fun. Hooray
1:33
Speaker 1: for food e Fun and it is a jam packed
1:36
Speaker 1: foodie fun by demand, by demand, what the people want,
1:43
Speaker 1: the people get. Brian Billick. Brian Billick. Now, I always
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Speaker 1: trying to start with some kind of dopey holiday, and
1:52
Speaker 1: I didn't see anything that really stood out. There's a
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Speaker 1: lot of really lame holidays. There was one that not
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Speaker 1: only is that lame, but it's just something that's it's
2:00
Speaker 1: not legit. And you know most of these are not legit.
2:02
Speaker 1: No Brainer Day, which apparently is celebrated. I didn't know this.
2:06
Speaker 1: It's a no brainer celebrated annually on February twenty seventh,
2:11
Speaker 1: and it is it's known as International No Brainer Day. Okay,
2:17
Speaker 1: what is the point of this? The holiday was founded
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Speaker 1: way back in the nineties to encourage people to keep
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Speaker 1: things simple, to resolve situations calmly without stress. So I
2:31
Speaker 1: started digging around. I was like, oh, that doesn't seem
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Speaker 1: all that interesting. Fine, So then I started looking up
2:39
Speaker 1: fun facts about the brain. Now that is fun fun
2:42
Speaker 1: facts about the brain. Did you know? Did you know
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Speaker 1: that going back to one hundred and seventy BC, there
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Speaker 1: was a Roman physician, Gallan, who said, hey, you know
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Speaker 1: that brain thing, this is the thing that is involved
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Speaker 1: in problem solving. That's it right there. And so this
3:03
Speaker 1: Roman physician came up with the concept that the brain
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Speaker 1: is involved in problem solving. That was one hundred and
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Speaker 1: seventy BC, like just after the cavemen, for God's sake.
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Speaker 1: And then in the sixteenth century, so you got to
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Speaker 1: go back, you know, go forward many many years. There
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Speaker 1: was a different doctor, doctor Andres, who created a map
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Speaker 1: of the nervous system. The first sketch of the nervous
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Speaker 1: system that must have been just amazing, was not on
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Speaker 1: the internet. By the way, they did not put that
3:34
Speaker 1: on the internet. And you know why they didn't put
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Speaker 1: that on the internet. That's right, there was no Internet,
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Speaker 1: that's correct. Then in the eighteen hundreds, in the eighteen hundreds,
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Speaker 1: a couple of doctors in eighteen forty eight showed that
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Speaker 1: specific parts of the brain perform specific functions, that there's
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Speaker 1: certain things in there, and there's other parts that you know,
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Speaker 1: the frontal lobe and all that that stuff. And then
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Speaker 1: in nineteen twenty nine, nineteen twenty, almost one hundred years ago,
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Speaker 1: ninety seven years ago. There was a piece of medical research,
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Speaker 1: a study that confirmed in nineteen twenty nine that your
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Speaker 1: brain and my brain never rest even when you sleep.
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Speaker 1: Even what we're kind of like the fish. You know,
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Speaker 1: you ever go out and see the fish. They can
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Speaker 1: turn off part of their brain, but they go into
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Speaker 1: sleep mode like your computer. However, they don't turn the
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Speaker 1: whole thing off. And might I point out this is
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Speaker 1: a probably people say, well, turn your brain off, and
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Speaker 1: I have I always have a million things. I'm worried
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Speaker 1: about the next show. I forget about the last show,
4:47
Speaker 1: but then I got to think about this other thing
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Speaker 1: I gotta do, and so it's always rolling. My brain
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Speaker 1: is always rolling around there. It's very hard to just
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Speaker 1: calm down. Despite all the supplements, all that stuff, it's
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Speaker 1: hard to calm down. So that was in nineteen twenty nine.
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Speaker 1: They figured out the brain never stopped. It was always
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Speaker 1: moving even when you were thinking of things, and the
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Speaker 1: brain never rested. And that was in nineteen twenty nine.
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Speaker 1: And then in the nineteen sixties that was the boom
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Speaker 1: time for neuroscience and the study of the brain called neuroscience.
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Speaker 1: That really took off in the nineteen sixties and then
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Speaker 1: now we have no Brainer Day. Now we have no
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Speaker 1: Brainer Day, which is just wonderful, which has been around,
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Speaker 1: I guess since ninety five. So over thirty years of
5:40
Speaker 1: no Brainer Day, over thirty years of No Brainer Day,
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Speaker 1: just absolutely great. So moving on from that, I don't
5:49
Speaker 1: write back to a lot of people. I'm bad about that.
5:51
Speaker 1: On the email, I apologize in advance. If you send
5:53
Speaker 1: me an email, you probably won't not get a response.
5:55
Speaker 1: I need to work on that. I just don't have
5:56
Speaker 1: enough time allotted for that bad job by me. So
6:01
Speaker 1: I do check. And I got a couple of messages
6:04
Speaker 1: this week from fans of the show, super fans of
6:07
Speaker 1: the show. And I'm not going to call this an
6:10
Speaker 1: inbox revolt. You can call it that. You can call
6:12
Speaker 1: an uprising if you want. I'm not going to do that.
6:15
Speaker 1: So these messages, I knew they were coming. I knew
6:18
Speaker 1: they were going to be in my inbox. It's happened
6:22
Speaker 1: the last couple of years, and so I thought, well,
6:24
Speaker 1: why would this be any different. So I checked the
6:28
Speaker 1: inbox and there were a handful of listeners, and I
6:30
Speaker 1: want to stress just a few amounts, A very small
6:33
Speaker 1: amount of people who were aggrieved, wounded, even that their
6:40
Speaker 1: beloved Overnight gas Bag declined to dissect President Donald Trump's
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Speaker 1: State of the Union address Say what yeah, so ap
6:52
Speaker 1: penalty Back on Wednesday, the President gave the State of
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Speaker 1: the Union addressed. Now, this was not negligent. This was
7:01
Speaker 1: not and I will address this. I felt the podcast
7:04
Speaker 1: is the perfect format. I will explain the mythology behind this.
7:09
Speaker 1: It was brand management and the modern era that we
7:14
Speaker 1: live in. In my world, in the media world, everything
7:20
Speaker 1: is bait. Now, we do live in a society where
7:23
Speaker 1: you get paid for clickbait. But this is not even
7:26
Speaker 1: so much clickbait. This is just bait. The State of
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Speaker 1: the Union is not merely a speech. Whoever the president is.
7:32
Speaker 1: It is in that world. And I have friends of
7:34
Speaker 1: mine that have gone into politics, and we went our
7:37
Speaker 1: separate ways. We both got into the radio world as
7:40
Speaker 1: sports people. They went to politics. And a couple of
7:44
Speaker 1: my friends are very powerful people. In fact, I happen
7:47
Speaker 1: to have a good friend who's a very powerful person
7:51
Speaker 1: on the Democratic side. I know a few people on
7:54
Speaker 1: the Republican side, and so I talk to him everyone.
7:58
Speaker 1: I don't talk to them often. I don't, you know,
8:01
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll fire off a text, so we'll go back
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Speaker 1: and forth. But the State of the Union is not
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Speaker 1: just a random speech. It's kind of a big deal
8:08
Speaker 1: in that world. And I've had people that they've told
8:12
Speaker 1: me is that Listen, you know we worked in sports together.
8:14
Speaker 1: I'm politics now. It is the political super Bowl week.
8:19
Speaker 1: They might as well have Radio Row and influencer Row
8:22
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. The panels convene, graphics explode, analysts perspire,
8:29
Speaker 1: They have roundtable discussions under studio lights, as if the
8:34
Speaker 1: democracy depends on this, and the event is sold as
8:40
Speaker 1: destiny in prime time. It is sports radio is not
8:45
Speaker 1: obviously C SPAN, Thank god, I jump off a bridge.
8:50
Speaker 1: It's not C SPAN with better bumper music. You know
8:54
Speaker 1: it's not. There is an old school logic at play here.
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Speaker 1: Now I'm going to quote Harry Snyder. Do you know
9:03
Speaker 1: who Harry Snyder? Do you think a Harry Snyder is
9:05
Speaker 1: some kind of political pundit be Harry Snyder as a
9:09
Speaker 1: talk show host from the nineteen eighties, or ce Harry
9:14
Speaker 1: Snyder is none of the above. Well, it turns out
9:18
Speaker 1: that if you went with C you're right. Harry Snyder
9:21
Speaker 1: is the person that co founded in and Out Burger,
9:25
Speaker 1: the In and Out Burger, the number one burger place
9:30
Speaker 1: on the West coast, and it's spreading. I think they're
9:32
Speaker 1: moving to Tennessee because of California politics and all that. So,
9:36
Speaker 1: you know, good luck. So Harry Snyder co founded In
9:41
Speaker 1: and Out Burger. Grab some water here. So he co
9:45
Speaker 1: founded an out burger back in the day. And they
9:49
Speaker 1: had a very simple motto, do one thing and do
9:54
Speaker 1: it well. That's it. That's all. Do one thing and
9:57
Speaker 1: do it well. When Snyder opened up the first In
10:01
Speaker 1: and Out Burger in Baldwin Park, California. Still live right
10:05
Speaker 1: near there or a couple miles away in nineteen forty eight,
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Speaker 1: the menu was minimalist poetry, burgers, fries, and shakes. If
10:18
Speaker 1: you want cheese on the burger, they call it a cheeseburger.
10:21
Speaker 1: You got the fries, you got the shake, and you
10:23
Speaker 1: got the obviously the soft drinks. No swordfish, no swordfish surprise,
10:31
Speaker 1: there was no seasonal quin wah bowle didn't get it.
10:35
Speaker 1: I didn't get it. Seventy plus years later is my
10:43
Speaker 1: math on? Yeah, my math is I'm almost going to eighty.
10:46
Speaker 1: We're almost at eighty. The line still when you go
10:49
Speaker 1: to an inn out burger, there's a line of cars.
10:53
Speaker 1: It's like that movie Field of Dreams back in the day.
10:57
Speaker 1: You build it will come or they will come. And
11:02
Speaker 1: so that philosophy of this guy, Harry Stender, that is
11:05
Speaker 1: not stubbornness. That is clarity sports radio my world. Drifting
11:12
Speaker 1: into partisan debate would be like me walking into an
11:17
Speaker 1: in and out burger and say, I need sushi. Well
11:20
Speaker 1: we don't have sushi, but I want sushi, but we
11:24
Speaker 1: don't serve any kind of seafoods or I don't care.
11:28
Speaker 1: I want my sushi. So you can be all righteous
11:31
Speaker 1: and all that, and a lot of people love being righteous.
11:34
Speaker 1: We live in the age of being the victim. It's
11:36
Speaker 1: not fair. I need my society. The chef remains unmoved
11:41
Speaker 1: because they know the rules. And over the past decade,
11:46
Speaker 1: we have witnessed what happens when people who do entertainment
11:53
Speaker 1: platforms or whatever you wanna call it, dip a toe
11:55
Speaker 1: into the political jacuzzi. The water bubbles, the temperature spikes, Suddenly,
12:03
Speaker 1: the audience fractures into factions. It's like a if you've
12:07
Speaker 1: ever seen what happens to a windshield when they get
12:10
Speaker 1: into an accident and it breaks, and a bunch of pieces,
12:13
Speaker 1: thousands of little pieces, and so everything fractures, and then
12:18
Speaker 1: people start getting armed with spreadsheets and grudges and all
12:23
Speaker 1: that stuff. It's a big mess. The comment section transforms
12:27
Speaker 1: into Thanksgiving dinner with no cranberry sauce, no stuffing, and
12:34
Speaker 1: a lot of sharp objects, a lot of sharp objects. Like,
12:37
Speaker 1: it's a big mess. So yeah. Occasionally, occasionally there's a
12:42
Speaker 1: moment from the State of the Union that bleeds into sports, right,
12:47
Speaker 1: it bleeds into sports. A presidential quip about a sports
12:53
Speaker 1: team winning a championship. We had that this week. We
12:57
Speaker 1: had that this week. There was a shout out every
13:00
Speaker 1: once in a while that would go to whatever team
13:03
Speaker 1: you know won the championship or something like that, And
13:06
Speaker 1: those are always fair game. Those are always fair game. However,
13:10
Speaker 1: a full autopsy of applause lines and legislative wish list
13:19
Speaker 1: this is for another aisle, entirely picture the State of
13:23
Speaker 1: the Union through the television lens it deserves and consuming
13:29
Speaker 1: on social media. I've always said that it's HGTV for governance,
13:37
Speaker 1: like the set immaculate right, the history of the State
13:40
Speaker 1: of the Union. The pacing is all rehearsed. It's like
13:45
Speaker 1: love it or listed. One side of the chamber, which
13:50
Speaker 1: by the way, happens to be the side in power,
13:53
Speaker 1: springs to its feet as if confetti cannons might deploy
13:56
Speaker 1: and they could get a free T shirt as wells.
14:00
Speaker 1: Scott's going to come out the other side that is
14:03
Speaker 1: not in power. They sit there with stoicism. Some pretend
14:09
Speaker 1: to sleep, but they're they're very calm, and then they're
14:13
Speaker 1: they're not happy, though you can tell from the body
14:15
Speaker 1: language whatever is being said they don't like it. It's
14:18
Speaker 1: kind of like an airline passenger who just learns, by
14:22
Speaker 1: the way, the flight has been delayed, the airport's about
14:25
Speaker 1: to close, so you're gonna have to go go to
14:28
Speaker 1: get a hotel room. We're not taking off till tomorrow morning.
14:31
Speaker 1: The other team could literally come up with a cure
14:35
Speaker 1: for cancer, provide everyone a billion dollars, and they want
14:40
Speaker 1: to list it. Not love it. They'd want to list
14:41
Speaker 1: it because there are guy's not in power. The camera.
14:46
Speaker 1: I always get a kick out of us. They've got
14:47
Speaker 1: these these props, the camera pans to hand pick citizens
14:51
Speaker 1: in the galley or the gallery. I guess it's but
14:54
Speaker 1: each story is calibrated for maximum heart tug it's heartstrings
15:00
Speaker 1: tugging at the heartstrings. It's civic pageantry with advanced sound
15:08
Speaker 1: and graphics and all that. And every year, men and women,
15:13
Speaker 1: I don't think many children watching this, but every year
15:17
Speaker 1: men and women, adults and some teenagers and some kids
15:21
Speaker 1: will a few kids will watch. But the viewers are
15:23
Speaker 1: told that this episode, well, this changes everything. This is
15:28
Speaker 1: a game changer. Our democracy, Our democracy depends on you watching.
15:33
Speaker 1: And every year the sequel arrives on schedule, and they
15:36
Speaker 1: say the same thing. They say the same thing at
15:39
Speaker 1: the State of the Union every single year. See, the
15:45
Speaker 1: political industrial complex thrives on engagement.
15:52
Speaker 3: Outrage. Outrage is what it is, and whatever the president
16:00
Speaker 3: it does is wrong. They could recommend something, if the
16:04
Speaker 3: president does that.
16:05
Speaker 1: It would still be wrong. It's just that that's the
16:08
Speaker 1: way it is. That's the way it's set up. Outrage
16:10
Speaker 1: is currency and indignation is renewable energy. Right, the chiron
16:18
Speaker 1: at the bottom of whatever channel you're watching on the
16:21
Speaker 1: screen pulses with just apocalyptic vocabulary, all those big words, right, Oh,
16:30
Speaker 1: crisis on Capitol Hill, chaos, a day of reckoning, and
16:37
Speaker 1: the world hates America and all this stuff. So the
16:41
Speaker 1: Republic is always one monologue away from collapse if you
16:47
Speaker 1: believe that. If you believe that, and somehow it's been
16:51
Speaker 1: able to continue on and on and on and on.
16:54
Speaker 1: So again, I don't deal in that world. That's not
16:56
Speaker 1: my world. That's someone else's world. Ideal in the sports
16:59
Speaker 1: radio world, ideal in a different kind of melodrama, ideal
17:05
Speaker 1: in missed field goals, blown leads, dumb coaching decisions, quarterbacks
17:10
Speaker 1: who throw hospital balls for no apparent reason. Now, the
17:15
Speaker 1: stakes feel enormous in the mall Man, in the malment,
17:19
Speaker 1: they feel enormous, but they are contained, compartmentalized, if you will,
17:26
Speaker 1: pigeonholed within hash marks and the hardwood and all that. Now,
17:34
Speaker 1: over the years, I've done a lot of these Mallard
17:36
Speaker 1: meet and greets. We're planning, We're in the planning stages
17:38
Speaker 1: right now. I'm trying to find out logistically when we
17:40
Speaker 1: want to go to Boston, when we want to go
17:42
Speaker 1: to Ohio, and those are the two that we have.
17:46
Speaker 1: Hopefully we'll get Vegas in. I want to go to
17:48
Speaker 1: the Bay Area, do one in the northern California. We
17:51
Speaker 1: should do one in La I know mad Jack had
17:54
Speaker 1: a place, but we didn't end up doing it. Bad
17:56
Speaker 1: job by us. That was back in December. But meeting
18:01
Speaker 1: a number of my friends who listen to the show, right,
18:07
Speaker 1: people like you and I that are just trying to
18:10
Speaker 1: enjoy life. So I've determined that about twenty percent of
18:16
Speaker 1: society is hard oh political guy, hard, oh political guy
18:23
Speaker 1: or gal to try to get it in every conversation right,
18:29
Speaker 1: the discourse has to be about this, And half of
18:33
Speaker 1: that faction is prepared to send a strongly worded email
18:36
Speaker 1: to a sports radio host at two in the morning,
18:39
Speaker 1: why have you not talked about this? The remaining eighty percent?
18:45
Speaker 1: And I'm you know, I'm in the eighty percent, just
18:48
Speaker 1: trying to get through the week, just trying to get
18:50
Speaker 1: through the day without needing some meds for their blood
18:54
Speaker 1: pressure and just trying to pay the bills they want
18:58
Speaker 1: and tune into too the over. You want to hear
19:01
Speaker 1: some hot takes. You want to hear hollering James snore.
19:04
Speaker 1: You want to hear the redneck Riviera's biggest star, you know,
19:08
Speaker 1: the Jed who fled wandering around saying eight hundred words
19:11
Speaker 1: in ten seconds. You want to hear the latest comments
19:15
Speaker 1: on the on the X machine from Malard, prop Guy
19:19
Speaker 1: or fer Dog or Alf. You want to hear what
19:21
Speaker 1: they have to say. That's what you tune in for.
19:24
Speaker 1: So to me, silence in this case is not avoidance.
19:30
Speaker 1: It's knowing that you are a specialist. It's like back
19:36
Speaker 1: in the in the old days before baseball changed the rules.
19:41
Speaker 1: And if you're around my age, there was a baseball
19:48
Speaker 1: term for a very specialized relief pitcher. And what was it. Well,
19:56
Speaker 1: if you were a left handed a left handed reliever,
20:03
Speaker 1: and you would come in and you'd face one batter right,
20:08
Speaker 1: one batter, one batter, one batter, one batter only, and
20:13
Speaker 1: they called you a loogie. Yeah, a loogie. That was
20:18
Speaker 1: that was your that was your name. Uh. And and
20:21
Speaker 1: and not hock, not hawk alugie, No, no, no, wasn't that.
20:25
Speaker 3: I know.
20:26
Speaker 1: I know, am I going inside baseball? I think most
20:28
Speaker 1: people around my age know that. But maybe you're not
20:31
Speaker 1: around my age and you're like, oh, there's no crying
20:35
Speaker 1: in baseball. I don't don't yet get it. Uh yeah,
20:39
Speaker 1: So I know the baseball seasons underway. I know it's
20:44
Speaker 1: been hijacked by the computer guys for years, but it's
20:46
Speaker 1: it's underway. Yeah, so there you go. Uh, but that
20:50
Speaker 1: that's it. So I'm a specialist, you know that. That's
20:53
Speaker 1: the that's the deal. That's that's what I do. I am.
20:57
Speaker 1: I'm a lea, A relief pitcher, is what I am.
21:01
Speaker 1: That's it. Yeah, pop pop fizz fizz. Oh what a
21:04
Speaker 1: relief it is? Well not exactly, but you get the point, right,
21:09
Speaker 1: you get the point. So anyway back to it. So
21:13
Speaker 1: this does not mean that we obviously we obviously deal
21:17
Speaker 1: in bombastic conversation. That is a world that we are
21:21
Speaker 1: involved in. The show features much like politics filibusters. Some
21:27
Speaker 1: would say this Malar podcast here, the fifth Hour podcast
21:30
Speaker 1: is a filibuster. The Marathon Mallard monologues dissecting the footwork
21:35
Speaker 1: of Lamar Jackson, or what he orders at a food truck,
21:38
Speaker 1: or the trade value of Alligator arms Kyler Murray. I've
21:42
Speaker 1: been labeled Benny Blowhard for hot takes on players like
21:47
Speaker 1: Sam Darnold or Fernando Mendozo, the Indiana Hoosias quarterback. The
21:52
Speaker 1: difference is consequence. If a sports talk opinion detonates cub Boom,
22:01
Speaker 1: the fallout is limited to some barroom chatter a few
22:07
Speaker 1: social media comments, and that's it. When politics detonates, family
22:13
Speaker 1: members stop talking to other family members, Like you know,
22:16
Speaker 1: you've got a problem if you will not talk to
22:18
Speaker 1: someone because of their politics. Just you know, eat your
22:24
Speaker 1: own knock yourself out, and I can think you're a knucklehead,
22:28
Speaker 1: but I can still be your friend. Presidents, now you
22:31
Speaker 1: think about the president, they change every few years, like
22:34
Speaker 1: whether President Trump or his eventual successor whoever that ends
22:38
Speaker 1: up being. You know, they rotate through the White House
22:41
Speaker 1: like head coaches. It's like a rebuilding franchise, always rebuilding,
22:45
Speaker 1: was rebuilding, always problems, speaking in cliches, political cliches. The
22:51
Speaker 1: choreography of the State of the Union remains unchanged, though
22:54
Speaker 1: I remember watching it with my parents as a kid,
22:57
Speaker 1: and I didn't think it was the most interesting in
22:59
Speaker 1: the world, well the most interesting thing in the world.
23:01
Speaker 1: My parents were really into it, and so I'd paid
23:05
Speaker 1: attention to it as I got older. And it's the
23:08
Speaker 1: same show all these years later. Applause on Q, scowls
23:13
Speaker 1: on Q, the same script. Obviously the names have changed,
23:17
Speaker 1: although some of them are still there from when I
23:20
Speaker 1: was a kid, which is crazy because I'm not getting
23:24
Speaker 1: any younger, and the TV news people treat this as Shakespeare,
23:30
Speaker 1: and often it plays more like professional wrestling. The great
23:35
Speaker 1: Jesse Ventura was in the iHeart Building years ago and
23:39
Speaker 1: he told the story about how it was very much
23:42
Speaker 1: like professional wrestling, that everyone played a role. And then
23:46
Speaker 1: they all went to the same cocktail parties in DC
23:49
Speaker 1: and they hung out together. And yet you know, people
23:52
Speaker 1: you know in Toledo, Ohio would get upset because they
23:56
Speaker 1: don't like so and so's politics, and yet these people
23:59
Speaker 1: were going out and having long island ized teas together.
24:04
Speaker 1: You know, after they would just mf each other. The
24:08
Speaker 1: ringmaster knows the crowd. You got to give the customer
24:12
Speaker 1: what they want. The people that come into the open
24:13
Speaker 1: night show, they want to hear about football, occasional basketball.
24:20
Speaker 1: Everything stacked neatly on Aisle fourteen, not for a you know,
24:25
Speaker 1: tune in for a seminar on fiscal policy. You're not
24:29
Speaker 1: tuning in for that. And in an era obsessed with engagement, engagement,
24:35
Speaker 1: you must be engaged all that. Choosing not to chase
24:39
Speaker 1: the loudest topic of the room is a quiet, active discipline.
24:46
Speaker 1: Not every platform needs to opine on every spectacle. I
24:51
Speaker 1: have a group of my radio friends and we text
24:57
Speaker 1: about certain people that have to give opinions on every right,
25:00
Speaker 1: and we all roll oririzes people in sports radio that
25:04
Speaker 1: think they're going to solve the world's problems giving a
25:07
Speaker 1: take on every issue politically. And it's fascinating that these
25:13
Speaker 1: people think so much of themselves that they believe that
25:17
Speaker 1: the people need to hear their opinion on a variety
25:20
Speaker 1: of issues that have nothing to do with the job
25:22
Speaker 1: they're hired to do. And I don't have the bandwidth
25:26
Speaker 1: to get involved in that. I just don't. I don't
25:30
Speaker 1: ignore it. I watch some of that stuff, but I
25:36
Speaker 1: don't obsess about it. And I'm pretty sure that the
25:41
Speaker 1: United States, as it heads into the two hundred and
25:43
Speaker 1: fiftieth birthday, will survive an overnight sports show that mostly
25:48
Speaker 1: sticks to sports takes. It's again in and out, Burger Burgers,
25:52
Speaker 1: fries and shakes. No swordfish, there is no swordfish. Cannot
25:58
Speaker 1: get it. Cannot get it. Meanwhile, let's get to some food.
26:01
Speaker 1: He fun, get me in the mood, Little food, he fun,
26:05
Speaker 1: all right, foody fun. Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Late night
26:11
Speaker 1: Taco Bell. They have taken things to the next level.
26:15
Speaker 1: They are bringing back the Live Moss Live and this year.
26:21
Speaker 1: This year it is going to be essentially a star
26:25
Speaker 1: studded award show. So what Yeah, Yeah, the people over
26:31
Speaker 1: there at Taco Bell a March tenth. March tenth, Taco
26:36
Speaker 1: Bell will host Live Moss or Live Moss Live, A
26:43
Speaker 1: Night at the Palladium, a one night only variety special
26:48
Speaker 1: taped at the legendary Hollywood Palladium, streaming exclusively on Peacock.
26:53
Speaker 1: They got a deal on Peacock rapper Vince Staples. I
26:58
Speaker 1: have no idea who that is. We'll be hosting this.
27:02
Speaker 1: Celebrity appearances from Doja Cat. I've heard of that, somebody
27:06
Speaker 1: named Benson Boone. Have no idea who that is. Ariano Maddox,
27:12
Speaker 1: nothing on that. Anderson Pack, I believe Paak as DJ Peewee.
27:21
Speaker 1: There's a couple other people I've never heard of. I
27:23
Speaker 1: don't think this is for me and my age people.
27:27
Speaker 1: I guess obviously, Taco Bell, you don't want my people eating,
27:30
Speaker 1: you want younger people eating. Taco Bell announced twenty twenty
27:33
Speaker 1: six menu. It's gonna be like a like again award
27:38
Speaker 1: show and they're going to have different food items come
27:42
Speaker 1: out and announce some and all that stuff. So that'll
27:44
Speaker 1: be coming up March tenth. It's at noon Eastern time,
27:50
Speaker 1: nine am Pacific time on the Peacock, So enjoy that. KFC.
27:57
Speaker 1: We move on foody fun. Kentucky Fried Chicken has decided
28:01
Speaker 1: they need to bring back an item from the past.
28:03
Speaker 1: It is officially back to Twister. You Gotta Do the Twist,
28:07
Speaker 1: a fan favorite, thee the Wrap has returned two Crispy
28:12
Speaker 1: Chicken original recipe chicken tenders, lettuce, tomato, and pepper mayo
28:19
Speaker 1: inside a warm totilla tortilla. This time around, it's less
28:25
Speaker 1: like a sidekick and more like a full meal. Full meal.
28:31
Speaker 1: And then there's the new twenty dollars build a bucket. Okay,
28:35
Speaker 1: so that's the build a bucket for twenty bucks. You
28:38
Speaker 1: can choose between eight pieces of bone in chicken or
28:42
Speaker 1: eight original recipe tenders plus four individual sides, four biscuits,
28:49
Speaker 1: four sauces. If you go the tender way. It's structured
28:54
Speaker 1: for sharing. However, they say that is like a Swiss
28:59
Speaker 1: army knife, and it's flexible enough that no one has
29:04
Speaker 1: to settle for the side they don't want. So there
29:08
Speaker 1: you go. For twenty twenty bucks. It doesn't seem outrageous.
29:13
Speaker 1: I don't know that that's going to feed for people,
29:16
Speaker 1: not people my size, but maybe little people can enjoy that. McDonald's,
29:22
Speaker 1: Mickey D's. They're expanding their McCafe lineup with drinks. They're
29:28
Speaker 1: putting drinks out from the failed cosmic concept. So there's
29:33
Speaker 1: that that's exciting. Yeah, McDonald's. Remember they tried this. We
29:38
Speaker 1: talked about it in a long ago episode of the
29:41
Speaker 1: fifth Hour McDonald's Beverage Focus. They were trying to compete
29:46
Speaker 1: with Starbucks and just take down Starbucks and that was
29:48
Speaker 1: the plan, and it was a horrific failure. Horrific failure.
29:54
Speaker 1: And so now they've mixed some of the stuff that
29:58
Speaker 1: did work there with the cosmics that Beverage Focused offshoot
30:07
Speaker 1: did not do the job. So they've combined this together
30:11
Speaker 1: and the McCafe label some of the items five hundred locations,
30:19
Speaker 1: five hundred locations between Wisconsin and Colorado. So that's it.
30:24
Speaker 1: The Red Bull infused popping tropic and strawberry watermelon refresher.
30:30
Speaker 1: That sounds pretty good. I like the strawberry, the watermelon,
30:34
Speaker 1: creamy vanilla cold brew. I'm good on that, toasted vanilla whatever,
30:40
Speaker 1: coffee thing, and then Kraft soda called sprite Berry Blast.
30:47
Speaker 1: So all of that is there. And this comes from
30:51
Speaker 1: a big shot at McDonald's who said it a recent
30:57
Speaker 1: Ernie's call that there obviously they learned a lot through
31:02
Speaker 1: the cosmic test and they're using that. They're applying that
31:06
Speaker 1: now to the McCafe brand. So all right, enjoy that
31:10
Speaker 1: a former SpaceX engineer has walked away from rockets to do.
31:16
Speaker 1: What what do you think, Well, it's obviously foody fun,
31:21
Speaker 1: so it's something to do with food. This genius former
31:26
Speaker 1: SpaceX engineer has decided his life's mission is to make
31:31
Speaker 1: a coffee maker. But not because we need a new
31:36
Speaker 1: coffee maker. No, no, no, no, no, there's a catch. What
31:41
Speaker 1: is the catch? His plan is to make a plastic
31:46
Speaker 1: free coffee brewer that regular people can actually afford. Yeah.
31:53
Speaker 1: So it started as a personal frustration and has turned
31:58
Speaker 1: into a full on proper mission. And so he went
32:02
Speaker 1: looking for a coffee machine made entirely without plastic. Couldn't
32:05
Speaker 1: find one. The high end options were thousands of dollars.
32:09
Speaker 1: The affordable ones all had plastic hidden somewhere in there,
32:14
Speaker 1: whether it was valves, tubing, whatever, and even machines marketed
32:19
Speaker 1: as stainless steel relied on other parts to get heated daily.
32:24
Speaker 1: So he built. He built the one that he wanted.
32:29
Speaker 1: It took him three months. The guy quit his job
32:32
Speaker 1: and he built an affordable, convenient, plastic free coffee maker
32:36
Speaker 1: made out of metal and made out of glass. The
32:40
Speaker 1: coffee pot is glass. I don't see any I do
32:44
Speaker 1: not see any plastic in the photo. I'm looking at
32:48
Speaker 1: here and it says the twelve cup brewer. It swapped
32:54
Speaker 1: out all the plastic components for medical grades, stainless steel
32:57
Speaker 1: and glass to eliminate plastic contact with the hot water flows.
33:04
Speaker 1: And the goal is durability. And it looks looks fine,
33:10
Speaker 1: look bad at all. So I'm not sure what the
33:14
Speaker 1: plan is to sell that, But there you go. Can
33:17
Speaker 1: either make rockets to go to the moon or make
33:19
Speaker 1: a coffee machine, and if you get that sold, you'll
33:24
Speaker 1: make a lot of money. Flaming Hot, the people that
33:26
Speaker 1: Flameing Hot have taken their brand and they're expanding it
33:32
Speaker 1: into the ready to eat meals category with the launch
33:36
Speaker 1: of boneless chicken wings. So you'll be able to get
33:40
Speaker 1: those at the the grocery store. Yeah, about that, A
33:45
Speaker 1: boneless chicken with bold heat and I believe they are
33:50
Speaker 1: available through now through June. Flaming hot boneless chicken wings
33:57
Speaker 1: available at Kroger only, So only at Kroger, which is
34:01
Speaker 1: the largest grocery chain in the country based in Cincinnati.
34:08
Speaker 1: Jack in the Box is testing loaded onion rings. That
34:12
Speaker 1: sounds that sounds pretty good. Jack in the Box testing
34:15
Speaker 1: how far you are willing to take your onion ring
34:19
Speaker 1: eating experience. And right now it's in San Antonio only,
34:24
Speaker 1: So my buddies in San Antonio, you guys go out
34:26
Speaker 1: and eat these things. Let me know. Email me at
34:29
Speaker 1: real fifth hour at gmail dot com, give me a
34:31
Speaker 1: scouting report. Chain's rolling out sauce and loaded onion rings
34:36
Speaker 1: a new test item that turns its classic Pinko breaded
34:40
Speaker 1: rings into a snack situation. You get eight crispy onion
34:46
Speaker 1: rings stacked that's it, eight crispy onion rings stacked with
34:50
Speaker 1: MELTI cheese, sauce, ranch I'm out, bacon crumbles. Or there's
34:55
Speaker 1: the hot mess version that swaps in pepper jack how
34:59
Speaker 1: to pe for extra heat. So those are it. Price
35:04
Speaker 1: starts at four dollars and fifty cents, and again it's
35:09
Speaker 1: a test run in San Antonio. So go see the
35:14
Speaker 1: Alamo and get some hot mess sauced loaded onion rings.
35:20
Speaker 1: Do the math on that, So eight fifty and then
35:26
Speaker 1: there or no, it's not if it's foy, I already
35:28
Speaker 1: screwed it up. I already screwed it up. So it's
35:31
Speaker 1: four point fifty and then divided by eight rings. So
35:38
Speaker 1: that's about fifty six cents per onion ring. And then
35:42
Speaker 1: that does not include the topic, that does not include
35:45
Speaker 1: the topping on foody fund. What else do we have?
35:47
Speaker 1: We do a couple more here. Let's see Oreo has
35:52
Speaker 1: just dropped a doctor Doom cookie and they've teamed up
35:58
Speaker 1: with Marvel so the Stuff of Legends campaign. Now this
36:05
Speaker 1: cookie the reason I bring it up. When you lick it,
36:08
Speaker 1: it turns green. Yeah, yeah, it turns green. Imagine how
36:13
Speaker 1: many chemicals must be used to get that to happen
36:16
Speaker 1: that kind of chemical reaction. Okay, what else? Uncrustables is
36:22
Speaker 1: adding blueberry to its PB and J lineup the JM.
36:27
Speaker 1: Smucker Company they previewed recently the coming brands in twenty
36:34
Speaker 1: twenty six, and sure enough, on Crustables adding blueberry option.
36:39
Speaker 1: Doctor Pepper's gone whack a doodle. They're all in. Doctor
36:45
Speaker 1: Pepper flavored tic TACs are now a thing. I don't
36:49
Speaker 1: know why they're a thing, but they're a thing in
36:52
Speaker 1: Johnsonville has just announced recently a Doctor Pepper flavored sausage,
36:59
Speaker 1: so you can get your you can have your Johnsonville
37:03
Speaker 1: sausage Dr Pepper flavor, and then you can, after the
37:07
Speaker 1: meal enjoy some tick tacks with Dr Pepper and you'll
37:10
Speaker 1: be a doctor, unless you won't. On that note, we
37:13
Speaker 1: will get out of here. Have a wonderful rest of
37:16
Speaker 1: your Friday. We'll have new podcasts on Saturday and Sunday,
37:21
Speaker 1: as we do every single weekend right here. Cannot wait
37:26
Speaker 1: for the weekend as we Danny Gio. Hopefully you joined
37:28
Speaker 1: me at some point here. Anyway, have a wonderful rest
37:32
Speaker 1: of your Friday and we will chat with you next time.
37:37
Speaker 1: Asta pasta aloha, got a murder. I gotta go,