Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / 508: My Big Bird

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508: My Big Bird · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi guys. Hi dude, this episode is bat shit hilarious.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: This episode is batshit crazy. Casey could not understand. She
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: was like, wait a second, you're telling me you wore
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: that hat just for that ending, just for that one.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: It's like yeah, yeah. She's like, what the hell are
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: you wearing? And I was like, it's just I think
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: this is one of the funniest episodes. I mean, if
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: you like the silly ones, this is one of the
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: best episodes, the silliest, funniest episodes in five seasons. This
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: is probably, first of all, I'm not gonna say it's
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the silliest one up there. Yeah, yes, yes, it has Uh,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: it has some really really really out there moments. I
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: was there's a robot, there's a robot. There's a Jewish robot. Yeah, right,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: and then and then the joke, why did I make
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: him jewish? My parents to kill me? But dude, I laugh.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I had to pause to laugh because I was missing shit,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: that's how funny. So if you're listening to this show guys,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: and you're not always going back and watching them, or
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: you're not watching along, you have to go back and
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: watch this one because it is really, really, really funny.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: For some reason, these last two episodes, I don't I
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: remember shooting these last two episodes, and I remembered watching
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: these last two episodes for some reason. These are two
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: episodes that I've seen quite a bit. It's My Big
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Bird by the way, five oh eight, right, Joel. Yeah.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: It's written by deb Fordham and Rob Greenberg, who's become
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: it was always a big showrunner and he was married
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to Gabby Alan Greenberg, one of our main writers, and
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: now he's become a big filmmaker. But he did a
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: really good job. It's also really well directed. And I
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: don't know. I want to catch up with you, but
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't be on the zoom and not
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: be like, how fucking college an episode I was? I
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: took like, we're not gonna get to everything I wrote down.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: I'll fill the page of notes with just the cold open.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, you went hard laughing. I was sitting here
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: like this, like with my head in my hands, laughing. Yeah,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I remember making this episode. There were so many great
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: moments in it. Anyway, how are you how great? Life
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: is good? You know I'm still a bit under the weather, right,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: But you don't have the delta. I do not have
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: the delta. People are getting that delta left and right. Bro. Yeah,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: but listen, it's not okay. So here's where the misinformation
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: is coming in. Yes, there are breakthroughs, but the number
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: of breakthroughs compared to the number of people not vaccinated
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: is fractional. Let's put it that way. The people that
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: are getting it that are not that are that are
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: not vaccinated is ginormous compared to Then they're gonna f
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: and re shut down. LA County was yeah, yeah, we
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: thought we you know, when they said one hundred million
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: people in America that wasn't enough to reach hard immunity.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Did we even make it to one hundred million? I
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: don't know. But listen here in New York City, we're
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: in much better shape. He pantomimes smoking a cigarette. I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: know you guys are doing well. There. A lot of
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: people got well, not good. I mean, I mean I
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: know a few people that got it and their luck
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: and their double vaccinity got it and they said it's
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: it's not you know, the vax makes it not bad.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: They have like a bad cold. But then I know
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: another guy who got it who had who had both
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: vaccinations and said it was bad. He said he had
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: a fever. I mean not hospital bad, but he said
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: he had a fever for eight days and he was
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: in bad shape. Right. The thing is, that's the crazy
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: thing is they're saying that, you know, it's a few breakthroughs,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: but it's crazy how we seem to know people that
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: the breakthroughs are happening. Too well, I think everyone will
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: start to know people. It's just it's just, you know,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I mean to be blunt, Not enough of the count
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Tree is willing to get vaccinated, so we just have
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: to do it the hard way. It's just gonna be
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: like people are gonna get the fucking delta now and
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: then we're just gonna wait till everyone's had it or
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: been vaccinated. Yeah, but even if you had it doesn't
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: mean you all of this doesn't mean you can't get
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: it again. That's the problem. So it's like, you know,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: there was this movie and the band played on back
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: in the day and it's about you know, how aids,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: how they almost they had AIDS contained, and there was
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: something like we could contain it if we just make
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: this move, and people didn't want to make the move,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: and you know, for ten years twenty years HIV AIDS
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: wrecked HAVOC in a lot of communities, right, it would
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: be a damn shame if we were this close like
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: it seemed to getting rid of this virus. And because
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: a bunch of people, you know, I can't. I don't
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: want to go down this and freaking blame people. But
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I will say I do want to say this. I
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: get you can't convince anybody to do this. Uh, but
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: this thing isn't gonna go away because back people didn't vaccine.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna put it on. I mean, yeah, that's
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: real talk. I want to if you want to say it,
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: if you want to say it in the most benign
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: way you just did, which is don't get don't I'm not.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: You can't force anyone into it. But the reason this
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: is coming right back around is because I don't know
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: if people got vaccinated, and I belived if I had
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: kids too, man, because the kids are vulnerable, the kids
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: can get it. And and anyway, sorry, let's go off.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Let's change topics. I was in such a good mood
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: from watching this episode. I'm gonna all worked up. Okay,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I know how to change topics. What you're trying to
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: get into one day or shoon what you're trying to do?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Fried Chicken. Now listen. Casey's theme song we Have to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Say was written. I think it premiered in the previous
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: episode that it's good, but we didn't we didn't ever
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: explain it. It's lyrics and melody by Zach Braff, vocals
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: and harmonies by Donald Fazon and produced by Jessica Weiss.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Our friend who is blowing up. She's Carrie Brothers wife
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: right now, she's on how about that? Yes, Carrie Brothers
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: is her husband. Carrie Brothers played instruments on the hit
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Casey jingle track. But we want to thank jess who
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: did it. She's she's really blowing up as a composer
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: right now. She did that new uh cama cabeo Cinderella,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: which is uh, is that out yet? It's out right,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I'm checking the Amazon. But we're really proud of her
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: because she's she's blowing up and she's doing really really well. Um.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: And when you see the camia cabeo Cinderella which looks
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: really really fun, um, that's her. And it wasn't like
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: it was that big, like full orchestra ship, not like
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: her and a guitar and a keyboard Like she did
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: it right anyway, So thank you Jess for producing the
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Casey things on im. We're gonna make it a ring tone, right, Joel,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you're on that yeause a lot of you Casey Casey came.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Casey made sure to remind you guys when So when's
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: my shit gonna be a ring Yeah? First of all,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Casey Casey loves her theme song and she was very
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: excited about it, and then she quickly was like, when's
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: that ship gonna be a ring tone? And when can
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: I get it as my ring tone? Kase, come down here.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know nothing about ray fos, tell me what
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: to do. I don't know nothing about range keys kids,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: And that's what it is. Yeah. Um, Cinderella comes out
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: in a week, so check it out because it looks
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: really good and um, she can really act Kimmy a
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: kebeo and uh and the music is amazing. So there
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: you going plug in our friend. Let's get into the show.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Five six stories about show. We made a lot of stories,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: so get around you here, yatoo around here. I just
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: can't believe how much is packed into this episode. Like
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: every every ten seconds there's a huge funny bit, dude.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: First of all, I wanted just to say it opens
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: up with you pulling into the parking lot of this
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Uh quickie, mart I guess they would be would right, Yeah?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: And uh, look smooth on the scooter, Dude, You look
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: like you knew what you were doing. You jumped off.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Look kind of cool on this, You know what I mean?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Like I always, that's always something I know you, and
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I know how much you ride motor You ride motorcycles,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: you ride scooters. I ride my bikele around Manhattan, which
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: is advanced. Why is that advanced? I don't understand what
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: that means. Riding a bicycle around Manhattan is like a
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: double black diamond. Like you. Every everyone wants to kill you.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Everyone wants to kill you. And now, not to digress,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: not to dike, bro, not to digress from your point.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: But what's happened since I've been here in Manhattan is
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: that there's so many delivery men on electric bikes, and
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: some of them are electric scooters. And obviously the police
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: don't have the manpower to like fucking regulate any of this.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: So these dudes are on the sidewalks, They're going the
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: wrong direction. It's fucking Nahim, and you just gotta be like,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: it's like Frogger but death, it's like Corson. I don't
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: know what Corressan is. Let's really do the racing speed
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: racing in Star Wars. No no, no, no no, no, no
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: no no. Corson is the capital of the universe in
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Star Wars. That's what Joel. You just got Star Wars.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sure I meant to hit the boost my boot
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: at the toilet. You can have a toilet too, Well,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: that's not cooled. Respect the Queen, bro I respect the Queen,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: but the Queen got Star Wars trivia wrong, and I'm
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: really upset about it. It happens to everyone. Dude, you
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: never get Star Wars trivia wrong. Absolutely, I do, really absolutely.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Who lives in the day of the System. Well there's Yoda,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: but he exiled himself there. Thank you both for responding
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: to my text because sometimes you guys ignore me. But
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: when I saw there's a giant new Star Wars Lego ship,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I sent you out. It's huge, Donald beautiful, you know
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: it's huge. Donald. What wait? What was it, Joel? What
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: ship is it? I got respect the Queen, yo, all right,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: cut that shit out. Just go on the Donald Joel,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: we pulled Daniel off this one chat for Star Wars
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: related things. Ah, I was gonna say I missed this one. No, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: were used to We used to like to include you
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and stuff. But then what happened was your interests. You
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: started saying, yeah, you can miss me on that I'm
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: not a big Star Wars fan, so we had to
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: cut you off. Then that's not true. I ever say that.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: That's not true. You said you said I'm not a
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: big Star Wars fan. Didn't he say that I'm a
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Star Wars there it is. Y'all know that you can't
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: be on it, then you can't be on a text bro.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: That's not what happened. That's not what happened, Daniel, Daniel,
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: what happened. I'm the one who started the Joel Donald
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: text chain, which is solely Star Wars fan geek shit
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: because they have their own podcast that they're going to
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: do called The Black Side. So, Daniel, I didn't think
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: that you wanted to know about like some weird thing
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: unredded I find about Star Wars or there's some new
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: lego ship about Star Wars. Have all of the have
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: all of the group chats you want. I just thought
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure that I did miss something
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: in the jeez, no, no, behind the curtain. For everybody
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: who's watching, you may remember my first major appearance on
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the podcast was complaining about Spectrum, and here I am
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: having my own internet issues and it gets me heated.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what, Okay, but that's that's all. That
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: that's all so I'm not I trust me. I'm thrilled
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: to know that there is a Star Wars exclusive group chat.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I'm just sitting here waiting for a text from AT
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: and T to tell me that the technicians come into
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: my house. Imagine she's out of nowhere. Imagine I was like,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck about Star Wars. Yeah, okay,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: star Wars. He's like, I don't give a shit. My
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: fucking cable is out. Yeah. I mean I can't listen.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I can't make the rain, he can't twitch, he can't
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: ride the pole. It's like a stripper having no pole,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: his book, his pole. Oh my god, oh no, oh
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: my god. That's funny looking at the pole, being like,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I need to fucking pole up. Bro, what are you
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: doing the ship with the s Star Wars Republic gun
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: ship and there are thirty three hundred pieces to it. Yeah, John,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: you're getting that ship. No, Yeah, I'm gonna get it. Yet.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I like to make I like to get Legos to procrastinate, right, Lego, Lego,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: there's no S, there's no no one's fucking cares, bro, Nobody.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: If I do this, it's trying to be at least
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: forty seven people that do. OK. Of the thousands or
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of people that listen to this, there's
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: probably seven people that care about the S on the
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: end of the fucking Lego. Sorry, seven people, You're welcome.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Seven people. I like to get giant Lego projects for
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: when I'm supposed to be writing, and then I say
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna write once I've finished the spaceship. A little
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: procrastination that comes with a finished product, Like at least
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: time look at this, it's you should see the things
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I've made in trying not to write to avoid writing.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what's the best thing you've made in trying
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: to one of those you know, those like Lego like
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: for adults, like like the houses, it's like a hotel
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: or the restaurant or the Barber. I've made like a
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: fucking street of those. Yes. Yeah, my dream is have
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: a whole room that's nothing but legos. Just Donald had it.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: I know, I said Legos. I'm so sorry. There's just
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: multiples of them and should be there. It's just not
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: grammatically correct. I like Donald Donald, you gotta find can
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: pick your battle. That's a dumb thing to hang your
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: hat on. I just hate it when people are like,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I am such a huge fan. If people don't know
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: this about me but me, it goes back deep. I
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: love me some Legos and it's like, wait a second,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: you're not a huge fan. It doesn't go back deep.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: It means jack shit to you because you know if
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: it did, you would know there's no ask Bush and
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan. It goes back deep. I remember
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: when I first got my first set. I love me
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: some Lego. That's how it is, Okay, I just want
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to say to you, it goes back deep for me. Yeah,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: it was my favorite toy throughout my childhood. At forty six,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: I still build with Lego. Thank you. There you go,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: respect the respecting them brand. Oh my god, ridiculous. Let's
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: talk about the show because okay, we're not gonna be
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: able to get to this and all right, so let's
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: get it all right, So you pull up on Sasha.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Sasha's freshly out of the shows. Now, if you recall,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Sasha was at the bottom of a pothole that was
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: very deep and so she they somehow resuscitated her and
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: brought her back to life. And she's finally out of
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: the shop and I rolled her up and uh and
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: and then the quickie mart is robbed and the cops
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: pull up and he has a choice. Do I jump
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: behind the wall, but do I jump behind the scooter?
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: And I'm like the wall behind the wall, and he
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: jumps behind the scooter. Yeah, and then he blast the
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: fucking scooter and I go, who's still shooting? She's down
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: that it's was that it's over, you saying cut No.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, it's over. And it was just riffing
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: random shit. But I think that's the first time we've
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: had gunfire on on scrubs. Yea. Um, that was funny,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: and um, that was just so silly, Sara, Sasha, that
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: was very funny. That was very very silly. You're very silly.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: And then and then we go to uh to the
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: cat scan room or is it MRI, I don't know.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Don't yell at me, medical professionals. And then that joke
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: about the Sasha Forever bracelet is so funny, right, my
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: scooter Sasha was assassinated, and then you go he loves
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: or even wore a Sasha Forever bracelet, and I'm like,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: I don't wear that anymore. And then my I only
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: work for one week and then the magnet goes on
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: and the bracelet clicks to the machine. That was funny, yeah,
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: And then I laugh at you, and then I get caught.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: And then Turke gets caught with the with his watch.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my watch. Yeah, you can't have that metal in
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: that room. No, I guess not. I didn't know, Carla, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: that's why they asked. They like, ask you nine times
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: when you have that done, like do you do you
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: have metal on you? And do you have metal implants?
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Do you have metal in your mouth? Like? You can't
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: have metal in that room. So this is where all
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: of the silliness really circles around. If you had money,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Carla asks, because she wants to win the lottery's up
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: and it's up to one hundred million dollars Carla gets
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: a lot of fever and starts convincing people in the
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: hospital to buy a lot of tickets so that they
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: can all draw it, so that when they draw together,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: if the hospital wins one hundred million dollars, everybody's rich, right, right.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: She then proposes the question, asks the question, or somebody
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: asks her the question, if you had one hundred million dollars,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: what would you do? Carla would make it so Turk
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: has a baby. Yeah, has the baby. Carla clearly doesn't
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: want to be pregnant, because her fantasy what she would
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: spend her one hundred million on is making her husband pregnant. Right,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: this is good with that belly though, totally. Man, it's
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: not an image you could tell. You could tell the
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: baby it turned by that point too, you know, ye
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: were you were probably dilated most likely seven or eight
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: centimeters and I don't know how many centimeters. Well, I
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: guess it's your asshole, right, it's going to be an
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: ass you we're just gonna come out of It's not no,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: it has to be an asked baby. If they ever
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: they made this movie right with Schwarzenegger and in the movie,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: how did is it a C section? How did they
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: discuss in the movie. I don't know, but there's a
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: labor scene and he's pushing, so I don't know that
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: it's a season. Oh so it must be an anist
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: baby baby, Joel, can you google how Arnold Schwarzeninger delivered
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: the baby in that movie? What was that movie called?
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Pregnant Kindergarten Cop. Arnold Schwartzener has had a very very
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: very varied film career. Yes, it's true. I mean, look
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: at the look at the look at the cannon. It
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: goes from from all those crazy action movies to Kindergarten Cop. Right,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: you know what's it called, Joel Junior, I'm trying to
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: figure out how the baby was Yes, can you I'm
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: sure there's a Reddit thread called how did he possibly
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: give birth? My guess that's my proo. I mean, there
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: is is only there's only one option. It's not through
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the urethraus. So it's an ass baby. The baby's definitely
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: a sec. But Donald said he pushed. I'm watching the
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: scene on YouTube. They're definitely slicing a movie when they
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: slice them open. No, they say Mary specifically, you're gonna
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: be awake for this. Oh, Donald, you might remember that
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: he probably had contractions, got it. I would have been
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: funnier if they made it an ass baby. I don't
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: like that they chose. I love the idea of the
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: baby having to travel to the small and lower intestines.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: To no, I think they would just connect whatever they
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: implanted in him, they somehow connect to the lower rectum
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: plush like he literally yeah, you know that. These people
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: who wrote this fucking movies must have sat there around
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: the table being like, so do we do ass baby?
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Or do you see what was happening in ninety four?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I wish I was in that writer's room. I would
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: have been like, guys, I'm very honored to be on
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: this project, very grateful. I will I will leave if
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: it's not ass baby. I will walk. If we as
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: a team chicken out and it's c section, I'm off
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: the broad Guys, this is the craziest thing I've ever
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: uted my entire locking. Oh no, boy, all right, So
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Turk's pregnant. Um, that's what she would do with the money.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, this part's so funny. So um, Elliot's
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: made out with a patient's father and she comes running
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: into the nurses station, and you and I are standing there,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: and then Carlos says, I can't believe you do that
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: to to and then they stop and then we turn
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: and simultaneously what did you do? Was it money? Like
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: we say that at the same time, right, And then
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: they use their secret technique. They start talking about shoe shopping,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: which apparently makes all men uh and totally zone out
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: and and go, you know, going almost like a trance.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: It's a hypnotic trance. They're just not there anymore. And
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: then she pops us back with the words lace bra
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: huh and then you go be specific and I go
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: with the DS. Dude, this episode had me rolling. It
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: is so fucking silly, lace Bra, be specific. We were
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: in a trance, all right. So then just because literally
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: every scene has something huge and broad. So Johnny Castle
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Doug as a body that's the briga mortis is set
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: in and he needs Ted, Ted the Lawyer's help right
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: to help straighten him out because he's not going to
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: fit in the body bags sitting up right to get
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: to hold the legs down, to hold the legs down.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: So ten ten, why is Ted watching the little TV?
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Is that for the lottery? Yeah, because he's the one
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: that he has. He's the one that told that's exactly it.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Ted's the one that told Carla that the lottery's up
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: to one hundred million. He's the one that asks Carla
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: what would she do for the money. He puts the
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: idea in her mind. So he's holding it because all right,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: but why is he I don't understand the idea that
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: he he like the lot of he's not gonna be
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: announced for like like at least twenty four hours, right,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: why is he holding the TV? I have no idea.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: It's just passing time. He's passing time in the hospital hospital,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: holding of tiny TV. Yes, okay, so he's got a
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: tiny TV. We think he's waiting for the lottery announcement.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: He lies on the legs ny PUSH's dead body down
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: and Ted goes flying. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: There's one of that's one of three giant window gags
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: in this episode alone. Okay, so that's Ted and Johnny Castle.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Mister Foster dies um, right, and then and then we
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: then we enter the world of them because when a
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: patient dies um and unexpectedly, I'm assuming there's a morbidity
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: and mortality conference, which is what we get called to do.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: And then the whole structure of this episode becomes really unique.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: That it's that it's flashing back to and from the
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Morbidity and Mortality conference. Um, and do you remember the
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: song we made up at this conference, turn Around in Urgin? Yeah,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: turned around in Urgin Care tar. All right, so this
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: is so random that no one will get unless we explain.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: But the urgent care section of the hospital was was
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: what we of the old hospitals we used to build sets,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: so like, yeah, we call them swing sets, sets that
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: weren't necessarily in every episode. It could be the bar
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: some weeks, it could be Jason Bateman's apartment in this week.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: It just you know, they would they would swing, they
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: would swing around different sets. And this conference we were
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: shooting at a real auditorium like that, and it was
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: so late, and the turnaround, which would be facing that
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: dais with Cox and and Kelso on it with just
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: a blue curtain. We were all like, couldn't it's so late,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: couldn't you guys just set this blue curtain up in
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: this dais in urgent care? And remember Randall, theroducer, was like,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe, maybe we'll talk about that later, but come on,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: we're gonna keep shooting. And we were all so tired,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: and we all started chanting turn around and urging care,
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: turn around. Care. We got in trouble for that. Yeah,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: they didn't like that, but I bet but uh but
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: it was so fucking funny that we remember that this
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: many years later, that that night yelling turn around, and
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: you don't care because the crew got into it too.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: They were tired too. They were like, turn it around late.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: It was late. Oh my god, I laughed out loud.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Dude at me crawling to Carlo's microphone at the at
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: the at the conference, I can't find a hot mic,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: so I just keep crawling and then I just go
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: back and sit down and he goes asked me another question,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: and I started crawling out, and he goes, doctor Dorian,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: I'm eight feet from you. I can hear you. Well,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know, okay, So we'll get to it at
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: the end of the show. Also, but Cox is the
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: one that blames everybody for this person's death. He's like, yeah,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: I'm betting it's one of you guys as fault. Yeah,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: he thinks we fucked up, right, And we'll get to
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: what happens at the end. Okay, But we also learned
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: that JD has a hug schedule okay for Turk and others. No,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: is it just I think it's others. Two. All I
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: know is he gives Turka hug in the morning, and well,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you were scheduled for two, and you know, you piss
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: me off. I cross you off. Then you expressed that
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: you're upset about it, and you hear the voice that
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: we're going he's hurting hugging now, and then you go
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: to hug me, and obviously I was hurting because I
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: go to hug you too, and then we get interrupted.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Was that the waffle foot thing or is that a
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: different section? I think it's waffle foot thing. Yeah, that's
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: the waffle foot thing. Dude, did you laugh at waffle foot?
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I cracked up at waffle foot. I laughed so hard
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: at waffle How could that's Do you remember doing? Do
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: you remember having to put on the gag for waffle foot? No?
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: I don't remember it, but I'm sure it was difficult
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: because I'm very ticklish on the bottom of my feet,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Like if I get a massage, they can't like they can't.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: I don't like my feet touched, like I get so ticklish.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: So I can't imagine how I survived them putting a
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: waffle presstead, I cut my foot, but it looked great.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: They did a good job. Okay, do you even call?
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Do you even called? The reason why he got waffle footed? Um? Yeah,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I think I pissed off the cafeteria staff, I wrote
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: this time. Yeah, the calf workers. I accused them of
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: giving me smaller waffles than others. Yes, yes, yes, and
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: they I'm assuming this was Troy had something to do
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: with this, and crazy eyes and crazy eyes of Margo. Right,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: they got together and they waffled my foot. They waffled
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: your foot, which is like really, like, that's brutal. That's
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: brut that's brutal. That's brutal. That's brutal. You gotta complained
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: about the wall. Then this is what happened. This is
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: this is what this means. One of them was like,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: complain about a waffle one more time to me, yea,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: just do it one more time. I'm a waffle your foot,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: ye And j D with pride and with all of
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: his pride, like I'm just saying, yep, his waffle seems
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: a little bit bigger than if you look at the scale.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: If you look at the scale, my waffles do appear smaller.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: And at that moment they grabbed you, took you in back,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: and then waffled your foot. I like to think that
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: crazy eyes. Margo tackled me and held me down until
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Troy could come get me, right, until Troy, until Troy subdued.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's so bizarre. God, this episode has so much.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: We introduced first of all, Oh my god, the fucking
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: janitor's fantasy of what he would do with one hundred million. Yeah,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: would train a shark, right, Casey was like, what the
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: fuck is this? Well, this is at least a fantasy.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, at least this is a fantasy. The ostrages
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: are in the real world. That's the real world. That's
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: the real world. So the janitor in his fantasy has
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: trained a shark, and long as he trained the shark.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: But the shark is able to communicate through walkie talkies. Yeah,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: that's how that's he spent all of that money. That's
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: what he spent the money on. Right, But the shark
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: isn't is trained to kill. The shark can will respond
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: to wakie talkie communication. Yeah, not only respond to walkie
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: talkie communication can understand it, and and and there's a
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: bunch of commands. There was at least two. Yeah, what
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: was the first one? Stand down? He goes wait for him,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: wait for him, and then he goes the lobsters in
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: the pool. So he trained the lobsters in the pot,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: the lobster pot. So he trained the shark to understand
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: code words. Also, yes, the shark is very smart, very smart,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: one hundred million dollars smart. Yeah, but also like, does
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: the shark wear a headset or is he's Yeah, because
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: when I when I saw it, I pictured the shark
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: head like a walkie talkie headset. The sharks Jabba jar
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Do you remember Jabba Jaw? They call him Jabba Jabba
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Jaba jab Jabba Jaba Jabba Jaw. No, but this is
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: the most students shock you. Who ever saw he's a
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: shark that could talk? I would walk on land named
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Jabba Jaw. I never saw that, but this was It
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: was very reminiscent of Jaws. I think the stuntman had
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: lines tied to my waist. You had to be on
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: some type of No. Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't without help,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: you couldn't have done that, but I think, as I recall,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: the stuntman had like they were like one on either
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: side of the pool, and they had lines tied to
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: my waist. I probably had like a stunt waist belty
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: thing on, and then they were just ripping me around
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: the pool crazy. I remember thinking like this is probably
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: gonna hurt tomorrow. Yeah, okay. Then we also introduced the
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: legendary floating head doctor in this episode. What a fuck
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: listen what was going on in the writer's room. But
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: they're like, we're got to shoot the whole thing. I
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: want we gotta redo this episode with Bill because this
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: is like this is like such a tipping point, like
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: crescendo of silliness in the spl Where did who was like,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: we should do a bit where a floating head has
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: to freaking uh? I know, I always think they were
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: They weren't really stoner's. Yeah they had to be. Come on, bro,
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: think think of them, we know them all. They weren't
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: big pot heads. It's like some of this is such
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: silly stoner humor. That's what I said to my wife.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: I was like, Babe, this is like the epitome of
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: what it means. In fact, deb who's the main writer
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: on it. It was probably the most straight laced writer
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: of them all from it right, she was, she was,
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: she was, and I'm sure it is religious, and she
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: was very funny obviously, but she was like the least
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: stonery silly. Yeah. Anyway, we'll be right back with more
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: floating head doctor after these words, and we are bad Kczy.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: It's a bob, right, it's good, Joel. Don't you think
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: it's a bob? No, I really start. I'm just signing
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: my head and not giving vocal confirmation that it is
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: fun as hell. It's really fun. Daniel the DJ says
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: it's a bob. It's a bob and a half. And
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: the new version is like really clean. Yeah, justin phone
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: it in. She really produced the funk out of it.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: It's like to sing it when I'm cooking hooky. It's hooky.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I walk around my apartment singing it. Yeah, totally earworm.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Do you think I should write jingles as my side career? Guys, man,
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: we got we got two hit songs because we got
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: three hit songs. I know what you're trying to get into.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: What you're trying to get into one day, that's what
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: you're trying to do, trying to get into. I feel
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: like I could be the new John tesh Oh. I
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: will be at your red Rock. That's an old reference
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: that um, young people that listen won't get. We've spoken
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: about on the podcast. He was Entertainment Tonight hosts who
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: wrote Jingles. All right, so floating head doctor, I yell, body,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: come now. My body is down in the gym working
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: out next to Richard Wells. Did you notice Richard well Yes,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I did notice, very handsome African American man next to
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: my body working out is our best first assistant director
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: of the whole run, Yes, and our and he became
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: the upm. He became the UNI production manager and he's
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: a really really amazing guy. Um and so he had
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: a little cameo there. I think he has like a
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: few cameos throughout this. Also, he's directed a few episodes.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: He'll soon direct a few episodes. Yes, he did direct some.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: We love Richard and um, body wipes out into a
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: post wall. So I have to do cupr just by
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: slamming what's your head? Yeah, that's weed, man, that's gotta
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: be wead, It's gotta be wed. I know dev, I
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: know listen, it's gotta be some type of narcato that
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: has It's not it's you know what it is. It's
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: just a lucinogen. It's something that only happens really fun
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: comedy writers rooms, where everybody gets so batty and silly
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: and they just start pitching the silliest stuff and everyone's
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: cracking up and they just you know, it's probably late
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: night and you just come up with some silly ass shit.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. The ostriches that we've stumbled across. Now, okay,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: hold on, let's go back. Let's talk about Jason Bateman
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: being Yeah Bateman, the Jason Bateman. I know why we
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: skipped over it, because what the fuck is Jason Bateman
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: doing on the show? Anybody? Anybody? I know the story? UM,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Jason and I were friends and UM arrested development and
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Scrubs were both doing really, really well, and we were
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: at some cocktail party. We as the head of Fox
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: and the head of NBC and I had a buzz
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: and UM and Jason and I were chatting and I
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: was like, I want to be on your show, and
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: He's like, I want to be on your show. Like, hey,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: the heads and the different networks are here. Let's go
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: ask him if if if they'll be okay with us
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: being on. You know, it was a party. Everyone was
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: having fun and I was and I was like, hey,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: so and so can I be on a Fox show
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: just as a guest spot? And he was like sure?
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: And then hey, so and so can can I? Jason
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: was like can I be on the NBC show? And
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: They're like sure, and like literally, that's how it happened.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: And then we told Bill and I did a cameo
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: as a never nude on Arrested Development. Fucking never knew. Yeah,
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I was a never nude on Arrested Development. And then this,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: so this was Jason's cameo. I think he I'm assuming
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: the only was available for like a day because dude,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: I think he maybe had like four lines in the whole. Yeah,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: he didn't have much to do. We should have given
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: him more, but he's you know, he's Jason Bateman. He's
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: funny doing anything and yeah, and um, but that that's
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: how it came about. Um. So we stumble on the ostriches. Okay,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: we come across the ostrich come across the sign first yes,
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: and the sign says beware of and we have to
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: wipe it and it says birds and we laugh and
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: I've got on this silly red kango. By the way,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: I was with Brett Goldstein and Bill. Brett Goldstein plays
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Roy Kent m Ted Lasso, and I was telling him that.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: I was telling Bill, We're about to get to the
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Ostrich episode and it's so funny. And I watched something hilarious,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: which was Bill with the giggles pitch to Brett the
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: micro plot of of you and I, and it was hilarious.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Why because Bill, Bill has an incredible memory, and without
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: watching the episode, he was recounting the shots. He's like,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: and then and then Brett, and then Brett. You see
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: one of the Ostridge's legs slowly closed the gate. They're organized,
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: they're organized. And then I go and then I go
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: the century. There's there goes the century every three minutes
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: like clockwork. So in the world of Scrubs, everybody not
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: in a fantasy. The Ostriches astri Ridges can be trained,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: can be traded. Yes, go ahead, they were trained. First
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: of all, they they purposefully trapped us by closing the gate. Yes,
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: they treat us, They treat us, yes, which I think
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: is a verb and um, and then they I fall
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: down because I'm I want to give you a hug.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Of course you had to find a reason why JD
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: fill out of the tree because thought it was a
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: good time to hug that ostriches that. It's funny to
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: me because I remember how they shot that shit. But
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: the Ostrich peeking from behind the tree, Yeah, that was
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: the That was the fake Ostrich. That that made me
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: laugh harder than anything because I remember how to shot
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: that shit. I remember this whole thing. Oh my god.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: And so yeah, so then the Ostrich kicks me through
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Jason Bateman's with the right because we find out that
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: because you're you've you you've googled it on your phone.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: They're usually docile creatures, but their kick can kill someone. Yes,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: And then you hear you go flying through right, and
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: I get kicked into mister Sutton's living room, where um,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: Jason says, um, aren't they so majestic? I make belts
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: with their necks, right, and he pulls out off his
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: belt right, and then I get kicked in through the window.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. The funniest dude is when you go
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: he go, I go, why didn't you escape? And you
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: go I did escape. They were waiting in the car.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: So the Ostriches have gotten into the car, you guys, Yeah, yeah, okay.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: And then Jason says, that's Leon loves a car ride.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: And then I go that ostri stole my hat, right,
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: my cano? Now, now, I took a picture of it
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: because I had to. I just wanted to send it
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: to Bill to just let them know where we're at.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: But look at this, it's an Ostrich wearing a can though,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: don Donald, I don't know if Peter would be down
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: with however they strapped that kango to that Ostriche's head.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it was. I'm sure it was done the
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: right way. Yeah, well, I'm kidding. There's always an animal
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: safety person on set. But that's the Ostrich was indeed
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: wearing a cano. It might be the first. Do you
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: think it's the only Ostrich who's ever worn a kango?
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: Hidden History of Earth? I doubt that. Why? Why why
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: can't we be so bold? Because you thought of it,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: and so therefore it's a possibility that it's happened before.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I you know that thing I do in Garden State
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: where my characters like, um, you know, I'd like to
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: do something I've never thought of it before. And I
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: make Natalie make like random noises because I used to
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: really do that as a kid. I would be like,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: I had this little weird game I made up as
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: as a young kid where I would be like, I
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: want to be original. No one has ever stood on
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: this spot, put their head like this, put their hand
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: like this, and be like yeah, like I'd make like
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: some weird long noise, and I'm like, no one's ever
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: done that in the history of our no one has
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: ever done that, right, And that's why I be wrong,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: and that's why I put in the garden state. Right.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: So I'm just sitting here thinking, I think in the
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: history of mankind, no one has ever strapped to an
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: ostra set. You're absolutely Joel your thoughts. Uh. I believe
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: that because it looks so cute and sweet when he
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: walked in. I don't even like birds. Terrify me. This
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: is honestly my worst nightmare. But if you look book,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I don't like birds. They're either like rats with wings
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: and disgusting or horrifying birds of prey that will keep
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: me up at night. Uh, they're very ravens outside my
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: window calling all morning. I don't like it. I close.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: I like birds singing. Sure, that's pretty as long as
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: it's very far away from me. I don't like the
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: flapping and in my face. They like beaks of death.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: I have a weird thing with birds and cages. I
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: always feel so bad for them because you're supposed to
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: be how they're flying in the sky far aways. Sorry,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry you listeners who love birds, including my mom,
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: who has little parakeets in cages. I's just I always
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: feel like, oh, let them fly. I agree, but it's cute.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: So yes, probably other ostriches have worn kangos before. I
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: don't know if any of them have had red k
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: I don't agree, Joe, I think that, Daniel, what are
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: your thoughts? Has an ostrich ever worn a kango in
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: the history of mankind? Yes? I don't think so. I
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: think you're original on this one. You honor me, you
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you? All right, all right, So there's
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: the ostriches. Somebody out there's like, fuck y'all, man, I
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: came up with that shit, right. It's like Eddie Murphy
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: when he was a black member of the Beatles. She
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: loves you, she loves you, man, She's got a ticket
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: to Rod. But she's got a ticket to Rod. But
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: the bitch don't care. Man, I forgot that sketch. That's
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: so funny. He was a whole bit about him being
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: the fifth Beatle and being kicked out. Yeah, yeah, I
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: suggest you take that. That's a casting tone out your boys,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: all right. So we learned that, uh Cox, it would
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: spend his one hundred million putting Jordan in a glass box. Right,
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: So Christa takes her booby out and it puts on
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: the glass. It's glorious. It was sexy, glorious. I don't
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I don't mean any disrespect to Bill Lawrence, but his
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: wife's booby in that bra on the glass was glorious.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: It was glorious. And she's licking the glass too. Yep,
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: I don't yep, you shifted. I'm not going to say that, man.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I don't want I don't want to listen. Man, I
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: think Krista, who doesn't listen to the show, I'm sure
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: would be honored that you shifted. Well, then if that's
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: the case, yes, I did have a wait. Oh, Sarah's
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: would spend one hundred million dollars building a husband robot, Yeah,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: a robot husband but and then the husband goes miles
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: all the time, and she goes, oh, why did I
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: make him Jewish? My parents killing? Yeah, I didn't realize that,
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: you know, marrying a Jewish man was still considered. I
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: guess back in there, you don't. Of course, there's people
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: that don't want. They didn't know the Semitic they don't want.
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that. My point is I didn't think.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that Elliott's parents were one of those
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: people as well. They're you know, if you remember them,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: they're like cartoonishly waspy Connecticut. You know, they're not They're
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: probably not down with the well made, but they probably
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: they would probably would prefer a Protestant robot or Episcopalian robot.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Where's loafers? And it was really good at squash. Squash
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: is the whitest sport ever. Squash. Yeah, you'd probably be
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: great at donald I do love hit. I want to
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: play pickleball with you. That's squash, dude, pretty much, isn't it. No,
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: squash is like racquetball vibes, whereas pickle ball is Um,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: I don't I can't see how squash could be considered
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, like handball hitting the ball against the wall
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: can't be considered like white sports because white sports it
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: seems like what the expensive sports. And I feel like
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: all you need is a wall to play. No, it's
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: just like I mean, it's just a synonymous. I mean
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but I I equated with like
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: the country club and like, do you want like those
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: guys in trading places? Should we play squash? You know
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: it's like rich guy racquetball. Yep, got it, White danel, Yeah,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: I agree with that. If you see a squash court,
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: it's always like a really like fancy thing and everybody's
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: got there, you know, they're nice white song. It's like croquet.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like croquet. I always should we play croquet?
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: After squash? Poll? And then stoked on the ball? Best
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: part of another Eddie Murphy movie. And she stepped on
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: the ball. Elliot is duct taped to the wall with
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: the with the phrase I'm horror yes, which was another
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: funny little side piece side story she gets. She gets
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: tricked by a man. He convinces her that he's not
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: married by just telling her his wife's not around, so
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: she automatically thinks what his wife has passed away? They kiss.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Turns out he still has a wife. She just wasn't
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: around in the room at the time. Then Elliot convinces
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: him to be because she thinks he's scum to go
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: in there. Yeah, and that's up to his wife what
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: he's done. Yeah. And then after she's done it, she realizes, wait,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: this could backfire against me. And it's so funny. Sarah
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: is so funny in that, in that in that scene
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: where he's headed in there to look like wait, wait
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: wait wait no no no no no no no no
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: no no no, no no no no. That woman was
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: good too, She did a good job. Yeah, she screamed
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: that she's a horror. And then Elliott runs into Elliott
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: runs into the room where we're all in and she
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: goes She's like, where is that horror she's hiding? And
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: then Elliott finally, you know, gets the cohonas to step
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: up and say, look, we've both been wronged here. It's
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: not my fault, it's not your fault, it's his fault.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: But she doesn't want to hear it. The wife doesn't
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: one here, and a woman, I mean, do you know
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: what I do to horse? Yeah? But how did that woman?
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: How did that woman do that. I mean she had
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: to incapacitate Elliott, yes, and then maybe Troy, maybe Troy
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: and crazy Eyes Margot helped, but someone had to help
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: her duct tape Elliott to the wall. Yeah. Never never
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: really explained. Yeah. And then one of the last most
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: bizarre things in this fucking episode is that I Jason
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: Bateman's character makes me feel bad for not appreciating garbage man.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: So I wait by the garbage for my garbage man,
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: whose name is Jabari Jabari. Yeah. I definitely made that
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: up because there was a Jabari in my high school
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: and Jabari grabs my ass. Yeah, yes, no, yes, yes,
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Jar you go to hug Jabari and then he grabbed
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: your ass. Yes, I can't imagine how awkward it is.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: That was definitely made up on the day. But Bill
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: or someone was like, wouldn't it be funny if he
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: grabbed your ass and like saying to that guy like, hey, sir,
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: how are you nice to meet you? So we're gonna
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: hug and then if you wouldn't mind, would you squeeze
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: my ass? Okay? So I have one beef about this
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: whole thing, this whole episode. So Cox is there the
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: whole time the whole time. Cox is there in the hospital,
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: in the hospital, right, he's there talking about the lotto stuff.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: He talks to uh, he talks to Sarah's character, he
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: talks to you and I. I see you're saying there's
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: a plot hole. Yeah, how can he sit here and
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: talk about there being uh, you know, nobody did nothing
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: being covered when he's there the whole time. Well that's
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: a good point, um, but he can't. You know, he's
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: no superman Donald. He can't cover the entire hospital. Totally
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: understand that. Um, he can't cover the entire point. And
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I think in honesty, in all honesty, someone died who
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: shouldn't have died, and Cox is pissed. He's like, you
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: guys fucked up, like you but you left it to
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: the interns. No, but that's not what happened. He died
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: from a pulmonary right. We learned that reveal in the
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: end from from Johnny Castle running in. But I don't
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: I think at the time Cox, you know, he's kind
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: of bringing down the hammer. He's like, it's you know,
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: fuck ups are going to happen, but you guys fucked up,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: and now we need to talk about accountability. I can't
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: fucking I can't be the only doctor in this hospital.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: Where the fuck were you guys? You you told because
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: of all your fucking michigas, you left this to the interns.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: And he's dead. You know, I understand that he was
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: genuinely pissed off and wanted wanted them to be held accountable.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: But then once they're once they're off the hook, he's
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: still upset. Yeah, well they're off the hook because they
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: got lucky that it was that it was actually something
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: they had no control over. But they shouldn't be out
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: chasing ostriches and fucking hooking up with patients parents and
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: we're obsessing about the lottery, like there's lives to be saved.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: They can't be fucking around. The whole hospital was obsessing
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: about the lottery too. So and then that was really
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: beautiful that you know, of course classic Bill Lawrence. Uh,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: you know, this is the silliest fucking episode so far.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: And then it ends with that the ghost following us
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: all around. That was beautiful, Casey said, started crying. She's like,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: that's oh my god. I mean, that's the magic of scrubs, man.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: And we can say that because we didn't write it.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: But the fact that this dude and his posse Bill
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: and his entourage can can have you looking at an
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: Ostrich with the canggo hat and then the next scene
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: of tears in your eyes because because something is so beautiful?
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: Is that that was? That was really good? Yeah? Great episode. Laugh, great,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: great episode. I'm telling you, if you just listen to
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: this show and you don't go watch them, watch that
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: one again. It is. It is so funny. And if
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: you do enjoy jazz cabbage um, you should enjoy jazz great.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: It will pair nicely with jazz cabbage um. Do well,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: do we have a guest? We do, all right, So
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break, We're gonna empty our bladders. Yes,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: and we will be right back with a really fun guest.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: And where forever do or do not? There is no trying,
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: all right, We are trying, Yoda, I am trying. How's
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: your no weed thing going? It's good, you know, it's
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: not no weed. It's just a lot less weed, a
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: lot lot less weed, Dude, like a lot lot less weed.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: I went from it's good smoking a crap ton of
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: weed a day to smoking very little weed a day.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: And it's actually it actually feels better than smoking a
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: crap ton of weed. I think when you get to
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: the crap ton of weed, you get that addicted shit,
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: and when you smoke just a lot. I don't know.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I know if too many people that are addicted to weeds,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Like anyone who says weed is an addictive is bullshit
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: out of their mind. They're lying. I know people that
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: are like a different person now because it's all they
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: do is smoke weed. Yeah, and I think that's a
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: damn shame, damn shame. Listen, Joel, who do you have
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: for us today? You know, like a bottle? Maybe talk
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: about the episode? So come on, give it up. No
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: I Knowell, don't act so surprised you noll are you?
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Noel has a shocked face on it is you knew
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: you were gonna be. You knew you were gonna be.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: But when you see when he's fanning herself like they
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: do in the movies, like they do in church, fanning
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: her eyes to stop him from crying. Noel, nice to
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: meet you. Welcome, Thank you for having me. Oh yeah,
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: you're very welcome. Where are you calling us from? Oh
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: I'm calling from a pedunk town Ralla, Missouri. Though, really
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: from Saint Louis, Rolla, Missouri. Even though you're from Saint Louis.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: What do you do in Rolla, Missouri? Noel? Oh, I'm
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: working from home. Yeah, like a lot of people are. Yeah,
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: you've done a lot of decorating in your in your
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: in your beautiful home there, Noel. You audience would get
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: that joke if you saw that. Noel has just a
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: blank white wall behind her and a lamp. What do
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: you do, Noel? What is your work that you do
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: from home? Oh? I processed payroll for an international company
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: called Premium Retail Services. Okay, are you able to skim
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: a little something something off the top without them knowing? Okay?
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: Because there was that movie what what movie was that Donald?
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Where they where they realized that the percentage of tiny
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: scents they steal the little space office space, Oh, office space,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: that masterpiece of a movie. Yeah, you could pull an
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: office space Noel and um and just see what happens.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: Caught at the end of it. Caught at the end.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna recommend you don't do that. Don't do that.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: But Noel, I'm just saying, since you know this and
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: you're in charge of payroll, you should look at Office
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Space and just see if it's viable for you. I
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: recommend watching Office Space because it's very funny. I do
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: not think you should watch it for research on how
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: you should pull a high stick. I'm just saying I've
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: never spoken to someone who's actually in payroll, and I
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: just wanted to know if she's considered embezzling like they
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: did an Office Space. Right. I don't think that's the
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: movie to watch, right. We don't promote an inbrezzlement on
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: this show, Noel, I don't know why you brought it up. Um, Noel, welcome.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: Do you have a question for you? So? What is
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: the most obscure life advice you've been given to date?
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: The most obscure life life advice I've been given to
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: what's the advice that the mom gives Steve Martin in
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: the Jerk? Or is the dad? It's the dad? I'm sure.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Don't trust Whitey is one of them? You laugh, because true,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: the Lord loves the working man. Yet why Lord loves
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: the working man? Don't trust Whitey? And what else? See
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: a doctor and get rid of it. That might be
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: the best advice ever. See a doctor and get rid
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: of it. Oh my God, if you haven't seen the jerk,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: you can't be our friend. It's just a masterpiece. I
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: don't know obscure life advice to any of you guys,
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: have any good, obscure, weird life advice someone's giving you.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's how obscure it is, but like,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: get a morning routine is something that's absolutely changing my
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: professional life. You know. I used to just get up
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: and hop on my computer and start working because I
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: have a lot to do and I have my brain
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: is clearer in the morning than it is at the
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: end of the day, so it's like I just gotta
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: rush it and get as much done as possible. But
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: then my therapist was like, what if you just, you know,
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: took a minute to like really get yourself together and
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: grounded and see if that would work for you? You know,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: try doing the same thing every morning, um, and see
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: if you're not as stressed out by the time you
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: actually approach you work and it's working and I really
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: enjoy it, So get a morning routine. That's good? Does
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: yoda count as obscure life advice? Do not or do not?
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: There is no try? Yeah? I mean I love it. Yeah,
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: there you go write that down. Um. I don't know
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: how obscurre it is, but I think that one of
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: the most beneficial thing my father told me was just
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: to not be intimidated by asking bold questions and bold
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: making bold requests of people. Um. That's something that throughout
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: my life has really paid off because ninety eight percent
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: of the time people go sure you know, and you know,
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: and you're like nervous to do it. You're like, oh
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: my god, I'm not going to ask. Like there's this
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: filmmaker I really really look up to and I admire
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: and I and my agent represents him, and I was
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: this is just a recent example, and I was like,
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask my agent to ask him if he'll
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: read the script, my lead of script, because like, I
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: really love this guy. I'd love his thoughts on it.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, I'm kind of nervous,
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: Like what if he's like, I'm not gonna read something.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: And then he's like, sure, I'll read it. He read it,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: gave me amazing notes. And that's just a recent example,
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: but it goes back my whole life, Like I like
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: just having there's like a Jewish Yiddish expression chutzpah, which
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: basically means having balls, but like having the chutzpah to
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: just ask bold questions and people ask big requests of
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: people not getting your head about oh they're gonna think this,
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: they're gonna think that, and like no, step up to
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: the mic and go, hey, person that I admire or
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: look up to anyway, that's my pep talk. That's a
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: piece of advice my lad father gave me that I
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: always think about. It works for you too, because sometimes
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: you do it and you don't even know that you're
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: doing it. Like you remember when Dick Van Dyke was
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: on this show, it was you that asked him to
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: sing while I played and it was something that I
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: was having a hard time doing and you did it.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: It was so I want to say, cavalier or how
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: you did it was like off the cup like and
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: then he was like he's like he plays Jolly Holiday.
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: And Dick was like, oh does he? And and and
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: Zach goes, yeah, he's got to play it for you later.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: And when he plays it, you should sing along with him.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: Why don't you sing along with him? That's how you
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: asked him, and he was like, hey, okay, sure, all right,
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: that's how it came about, of course. But in that example, Donald,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: I was totally fucking nervous to do that, but I
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: but I stepped up. What I'm saying is the advice
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I'm passing forward to Noel and anyone who cares, is
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: you step up to the fearful moment and then cross it.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm nervous to ask Dick Vandyke if you'll sing
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: with my best friend. But I think of my father
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: and I summoned my chitzpah, and I go, Dick, you
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: should sing with Donald. And then and then, you know
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: what's what's the worst that's gonna happen. He's gonna be like,
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: oh no, I don't sing anymore. But I'd love to
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: hear Donald sing. And that's the best that could happen.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: One of the fucking greatest moments of your life. Do
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: or do not? There is no try same thing. You
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: know what? My favorite expression is that I've been thinking
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: about a lot lately. I don't know who said this.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: Y'all can google it. If you care, your life begins
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: at the edge of your comfort zone. Yes, yoda Joel's
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: preach Joel, Yeah, your life begins at the edge of
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: your comfort zone. Uh No, Tom from Fast and the
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: Furious said that. Shit, No he didn't. That's exactly he
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: says a version of it in the movie. He didn't
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: write that. It's a famous quote. I don't know, but
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: I think about that a lot. When when you when
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: you have Yeah, when it comes to family, your life begins. Right, Noel, Um,
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: what's your next question? If you don't have a second question,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: it's fine, Donald can beat box. I mean, I will
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: punch you right in your dick. Do your little dick
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: in front of Noel asked, fuck ass fuck, I'm an ass. Fuck. Really,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: you're the fucking ass baby that Schwarzenegger tried to have
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: in that movie. Oh no, okay, sorry, no little Oh
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: meet lamar. Noel, go ahead. Well, I really liked the
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: advice one because someone had told me, you know, if
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: you start dating in a bar, you break up. You
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: break up in a bar, and I was like, that's
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: not true, and like, legit it happened to me. Oh no,
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: that's really interesting. But let me oh, well, let's go
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: to that. Well, Marge, marriage could end because no, you're
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: starting at the club. Donald, that means your marriage you're
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: gonna end. At the club. I don't think in case
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: you're going to the club to break up. No, I
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: think we do. But no, well we can you go
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: right to fix your life, which is what we do.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: It's time for Missouri's Robins favorite segment. It's time too
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: fix your lie. Okay. No, well you got broken up
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: within a bar. We are here to help you. How
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: can we help? I'm currently looking for a house in
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: a new car. So well, Joelle, Joelle, do we have
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: one of those free houses to give away? I really
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: wish we did. Know, we won't just give the houses?
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: So wait, what's going on? What's going on? No? Well, okay,
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: well I'm gonna put the drama aside. But I'm just
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: looking for um. I just got out of a contract
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: for a house, and so I'm looking for another house. Okay.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: I would love a house with my dreams. Okay, but
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to look for enough space for me. Okay.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: How long were you in this relationship for the house
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: with the man or the woman whoever it was? Oh no, no,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: it was it. It was just I got out of
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: a relationship for in a contract for the house and
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: it just fell through. I see. Okay, we thought it
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: was romantic relationship. You you were you were gonna have
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: a house, and it all fell through, and now your
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: dream is, Hey, I have a good job, I'm not
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: skimming off the top, and I would like a home.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: So I will say this right now is the best
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: time to buy a home because the interest rates are
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 1: very very very very low. And that doesn't mean buy
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: and get an interest mortgage, but interest rates are really low,
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: so your mortgage will be low for however long you
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: want to. We don't know about what's happening in Missouri.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: We don't at least in California. In California, um, do
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: you do what I do and obsessively look on all
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: the apps for what you're looking for? Because I love
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: real estate. I'm always even when I I just I'm
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: always like looking. Whenever I visit a place, I get
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: like so into it and then I go look obsessively
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: and look at real estate in that area. Zillo. I
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: like Realtor dot Com. By the way, they should be
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: our sponsor. That's a really good one. Okay, you know
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: why they have this thing. And Joel, you need to
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: tell Realtor dot Com to be our advertiser. Become about
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: to get that. I'm about to give them a big
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: plug right now. They have this thing that I like.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: It's a feature where you can draw on the screen
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: the area that you're looking for, and it'll just bring
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: up right. You know what I'm saying. This is the
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: best free out I've ever given these mofos. Now. But
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: you can draw on the screen, like let's say you're like, oh,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: I know, I want to be in rolla somewhere, and
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: then you can go, yeah, but I want to be
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: in this neighborhood Ralla. You can just draw on the
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: map with your finger and then it only brings up
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: houses in that neighborhood. Come on, so what now? What's
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: your next plan? So what's the move? What's the move? While?
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: Why did the last one fall apart? What can we
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: do to rectify it? Honestly, there were a lot of
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: issues going on with that house. Okay, good, Well, then
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: you dodged a bullet. You don't want to be in
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: a You ever watch a money pit? You don't want
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: to money pit? After you watch the jerk watch money pit? Okay,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: you don't want to be in a money pit. You know. Sometimes, um,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: the best thing that can happen is that a door
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: closes and a door closed for you. And it sounds
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: like you're really bummed out about it, and I get it,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: but I guarantee you, Um, if there were problems and
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: there were red flags, it was a blessing in disguise,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: right Donald? Oh no, I totally agree. You know. Well,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: then can you say mm hmmm or something? Not the fuck? Listen, man,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know which button for fuck's sake to stop
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: talking about your WILLI is Daniel. I need this labeled.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: I hate that pad. Now, No, you don't you know
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: why you hate the pad because the pad. First of all,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: the pad is amazing. Um, you hate the pad because
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: Daniel refuses to update my sound effects and you're you're
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: tired of the old one. That's exactly what it is.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: That's exactly what little only la mom class. Uh. Noel, Um,
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to I don't know how to
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: fix this, but I'm gonna be honest with you. I can't.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: She needs to find another house that that's not a disaster.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: My specialty is not real estate, Well mine is. Noel.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: You have a good job and you have a paycheck,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: and that's what a bank wants to see that you
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: have that you have a good job, and then you
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: have money coming in and that you're reliable and you
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: pay your bills on time, and it seems to me
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: you'd be a great candidate for to get a mortgage. Um,
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: you just got to find a place that's not going
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: to be a frigging disaster. And I think that if
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: this place fell through for whatever reason, it wasn't meant
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: to be. Thank you, You're welcome. You're welcome, Donald, Yeah,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: you know you're welcome. Girl. I'd wish you the best
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: of luck. Everybody's looking right now for a home. It
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: seems like it seems like everybody's either buying or selling nowadays. Yeah,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: lots of lots happen. Well, people, I think after COVID
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: are moving, they're going you know what COVID made me
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: realize this town. I'm getting outbid a lot um. Folks
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: are bidding, you know, fifty thousand above asking. Right, Yeah,
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: that happens good, That's well, that just means you got
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: to adjust you're you're what you're looking for a bit
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: no while, because you're right, people when it gets competitive,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: they just they you'll get out bid. But that just
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: means you got to you gotta go a little lower
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: than what you got to calculate that into your into
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: your process. Yeah right, Donald, No, yeah, no, you're right
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: about no, because in certain areas is crazy. It's like
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: it's like there's bidding wars. Yeah, they're well, like I said,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: this is the best time. If you're selling a home
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: in California, this is the best time for you. Right now.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: Everybody wants something. Even if you're selling homes in Texas,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: people are buying homes for a hundred to two hundred
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars more than asking price. And that's ridiculous. But hey,
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: well it's supplying to man, my friend, if everybody wants
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: that house, they're gonna fucking drive it up. But you
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: don't want to get in a situation where you where
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: you push yourself. No, well, and you really stretched and
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: and you paid too much, and then you're like, oh
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: now I'm fucked. I I have to like eat Ramen
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: because I bought this house. You know, don't over extend
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: yourself so that you don't have room to enjoy life
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: and eat really nice food food. Well, I was thinking,
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: like the college Ramen in the styrofoam cup top. Rob
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: got it. Isn't that a stereotypical thing that like poor
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: college kids eat. Do you know what I used to
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: do in college? I would I would take frozen peas,
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: I put them in the microwave, and then I'd pour
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: ranch dressing and I'd mix it all up and have
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: like a ranch dressing pea soup. Wow. Oh no, I
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: respect that you knock it, but it's fucking delicious. At
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: least I haven't imagine it. I don't like peas or ranch,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: which is really the problem. Oh, then it's not the
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: meal for you. Um, all right, Noel, You're welcome. You're welcome.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: Good luck. Please email Joelle, give us, give us some
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: some update dates when you find the home. Well, I'm
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: really excited. I'd love to, you know, ask questions when
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: you go over six h six that means my musical episode.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, Well, thank you so much. Yeah,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: we gotta we have we have some time before we
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: get to six h six, but we're a season away
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 1: from that. Yes, But in the meantime, I think by
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: the time we get to six h six, you're gonna
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: have the house your dreams, Noel, So please, please please,
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: That's what I fives are going out there all right. Well,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: that was great. That was fun. That's the show, everybody.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: This was a lot of fun. And um, Daniel, I
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: hope you get your internet fixed. God I do too.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: And uh, is there a wait? Let me just ask
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: a question, Daniel, Is there another choice? Is there something
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: you can do? Is there in contract? Like in his monopoly?
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: Spectrum's got a monopoly? Um, I mean I could, I
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: could switch Espens, but it's more going to be if
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: this is a consistent problem. But this is the first
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: time it's happened in the four months we've lived here.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: It's intermittently coming in and out right now, and um,
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 1: you know, I think it'll be okay by the end
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: of the day. So Daniel, don't don't punch a hole
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: in your wall. Oh never, never going okay. That was
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: the day Daniel burnt down his house. Yeah, Daniel, you
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 1: don't want to fuck this. That's that's That's the curse
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: of being nice all the time, is that anytime I
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: get upset, people are like, WHOA, Daniel's upset. Daniel's Daniel's
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: big man. You were giving me, you were giving me
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: Bruce Banner vibes. I seriously saw your neck, your next
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: started to turn your green. I you look like Louf Rigno.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: You know what's funny about whatever his name was, it
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: turned into Loufrigno. Like he looked nothing like least at
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: least in the Marvel universe. He looks a little like
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 1: Mark Ruffalo. Yeah, whatever the actor's name was who turned
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: into Lou for Rigno. It's like he didn't look anything
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: like Louf Rigno, wasn't it, Bill Bixby? Is that what
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: it was? Joel? All right, were supposed to end the show,
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: but give me a quick I don't want to get
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: this thespian's name wrong. If Donald's right with Bill Bixby, Yes,
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: Bill Bixby on the Hulk, right, yeah, yeah TV show?
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah grew up? Yeah, yeah, yes, Bill Bixby. If you
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 1: look at Bill Bixby, um next to Louf Rigno, there's
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: not a lot of resemblance. No, so he doesn't just
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: turn into the Hulk. He turns into a different human being. Yes, yes,
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: all right, anybody, we love you stay safe out there,
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: and he's a story nephew should know. So gather around you.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: Here are gather around you, Here are scretch me while
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: your WISA mm hmmmm