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How Do Narcissists Trick You Into Staying With Them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So how do narcissists keep tricking people into staying
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  with them long term or, or getting back together?
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  What what what method do a lot of narcissistic people use to
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  accomplish this task? That's what we're talking about
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  today. Yeah, of course.
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  If you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist here. We're here to give you the
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  inside look at the mind of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back folks, welcome back.
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  Welcome back y'all. The podcast is launching
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  Thursday, Thursday, Thursday for the launch the 1st.
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  I'm so excited the podcast is launching.
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  But yeah, today's topic, Future faking.
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  Gotcha. Gotcha.
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  You thought I'd talk about something else, didn't you?
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  Future faking it is. But yes, there are a lot of
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  narcissists and toxic people that use future faking to keep
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  you with them. Lee.
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  OK, what the hell is future faking?
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  It sounds like Back to the Future, the movie.
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  I saw that years ago. Is that is there a DeLorean
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  involved in this and what narcissists do?
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  No, there's no Deloreans. Right.
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  But future faking is just them lying about the future,
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  promising things in the future, promising to change or be better
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  or whatever the case may be. They're making these grandiose
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  promises. I can't wait to marry you.
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  We're going to have so many kids together.
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  We're going to move and take that trip.
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  We're going to do this. I'm going to change this.
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  Like future faking work. Yeah, it works.
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  I and just me as a diagnosed narcissist, I believe the main
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  reason that future faking works is because it provides hope,
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  right? It really does provide hope.
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  And you know, misplaced hope is dangerous.
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  Misplaced hope is just, it is so extremely dangerous.
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  It, it's it, it can cost you so much because you're hoping that
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  this person is going to change. You're hoping this is that this
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  person is telling the truth. You're hoping that this person
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  is exactly who they say they are or who they are pretending to
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  be, who they're showing you that they are.
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  You're hoping, and future faking provides more and more hope.
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  That's why people, these narcissistic people, these toxic
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  people can future fake you more than once.
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  Because future faking is not just about one topic, right?
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  It's inherently about future faking.
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  Could be about anything, right? Future faking can be.
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  I'm going to get that new. I'm going to apply and get a
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  better job. I'm going to get a job, right?
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  We're going to get a better house.
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  We're going to move out of the hood or the trailer park, right?
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  We're going to move out. We're going to have a house on
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  the golf course or at the beach. We're going to, you know, get
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  married. We're going to have kids.
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  We're going to get that dog you've always wanted.
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  We're going to take that trip, we're going to buy that car.
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  We're going to go visit your mom.
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  We're going to go see your dad. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's future faking as well. It, it might not seem like it to
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  a lot of people, but that is absolutely future faking at its
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  core. It really is.
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  And I tell people to tell it to people all the time that this is
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  how it works. This really is how it works.
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  Future faking works this way. It's a very unique thing to
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  happen. It very, very well is.
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  So if you're out there being future fake that you have a line
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  manipulative, just toxic narcissistic bastard out there
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  just telling you these lies, it might be time for you to take
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  the necessary action in order to separate yourself from it.
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  Or or not necessarily separate, not necessarily separate
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  yourself on a relationship if unless you want to, but it
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  separate yourself from the lies. Like I can understand future
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  faking working a couple of times, right?
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  We're going to get a house. I'm going to change, I'm going
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  to stop hitting you or whatever, right.
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  But it it yeah, in order to stop this person from future faking
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  or to stop the future faking from working, you need to be
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  based in reality. You need to base what's going on
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  in your life or in this relationship inside of reality
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  and not outside of it. I think that's what a lot of
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  people do We you get into these relationships and you suspend
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  reality in order to make this work, right?
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  You hope that they're telling the truth.
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  You're hoping and praying that this person is telling you the
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  truth about something. You're hoping and praying that
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  this person is like, like stop hoping.
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  Remove the hope. Base yourself in reality like
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  look, imagine this right here in order to cause gaslighting is
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  part and sometimes gaslighting can be a part of future faking
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  or this person is just a really good a really good liar.
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  In order to base yourself in reality or get yourself
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  grounded, take your shoes off, right?
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  I don't care where where you, I don't care how cold it is on
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  Saturday, you got to take your shoes off.
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  We got to get grounded. Take your shoes off, take your
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  socks off, go outside and touch grass with your feet or touch
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  the pavement, touch the sand wherever you live.
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  And some people don't have grass, right?
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  I was in Myrtle Beach this weekend.
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  I some places don't have grass. You had the, the, that straw
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  grass. That's that sharp stuff that's
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  on the beach. Whatever, right?
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  But some people have sand. Like take your shoes off, put
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  your feet in the grass on the dirt or the sand or the beach,
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  right? And just order just the water.
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  Just let just kind of take your feet and grip the ground with
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  it. Feel it, close your eyes and
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  breathe. Breathe.
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  Be based in reality. Get grounded, get rooted in
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  reality. Tell you ask yourself this
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  question. Why do I want to?
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  Why should I believe this when they've told me 1000 lies?
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  Why would this lie be? Why would this statement that
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  they've made? Why would this promise of change
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  or promise of promise of something?
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  Why is this different than the other thousand times that
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  they've lied? They say they're going to do
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  something and they haven't. Why am I believing this now?
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  Why do I want to believe it so much?
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  Why do I want to believe this so much?
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  That is hurting me, that is making me sick, That is doing
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  more harm than good to me. Why would I want to put myself
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  through that? In this situation right here,
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  you have to ask yourself these pertinent questions because they
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  are actually absolutely important.
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  Why? Why?
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  Because it I know why, why, why why works y'all?
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  I'm just telling you straight up ask yourself the question why
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  helps you defeat? Why should I believe this helps
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  you defeat future faking right? I don't get like yeah, let's
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  keep it real. Let's keep let's go on a rant
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  right here. I don't give a damn what they
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  say. If they've lied to you 100,000
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  times, why on earth would this one time be the truth, right?
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  Huh. You say you, you have to be
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  rooted in reality. Why would this pathological,
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  compulsive lying bastard tell you the truth right now?
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  Why would they do that? Why would they tell you the
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  truth right now? They didn't lying to you for
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  decades. Why would they tell you the
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  truth right now? I know you want to believe it
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  because if you want to believe it, you can keep your
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  relationship together. Together, things can continue to
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  flow, right? I understand that.
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  But you had to ask yourself, why would you believe that right
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  now? That's extremely important.
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  You have to get clear on this because the clearer you get, the
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  less likely you are to be manipulated.
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  The clearer you get, the more likely you are to find peace
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  within or outside of this relationship.
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  The more clarity you get, the better you feel.
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  Clarity. Yeah, clarity kills future.
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  Faking it does. And that's why it's so important
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  for you right now. In order to be able to move
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  forward, and in order to be able to move forward and just heal
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  and grow, you have to get that clarity.
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  I promise you, because if future faking works, it's going to keep
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  working. If it's if I can just tell you a
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  lie about the future, I'm going to leave my wife.
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  I promise you. I just need time.
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  I just need more time. That time turns into 10 years
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  and you shouldn't be waiting on somebody to get divorced anyway.
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  Don't do that shit to yourself. That's it's crazy.
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  Wait on somebody to get divorced while you having an affair with
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  the person. That's wild y'all.
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  That's wild. And what is this for the people,
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  people that are doing that right now, like you found you.
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  You fell in love with them, then you found out that they were
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  married, right? You fell in love, then you found
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  out that they were married. Now they're promising, promising
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  you. They're going to leave their
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  partner and I'm going to leave my husband.
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  I'm going to leave my wife. They've been lying to you the
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  whole time. Why would you believe this?
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  And also, why would you want to be with this person now anyway?
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  Why would you trust them? That's crazy to trust this line.
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  The bastard didn't lying to you about their whole relationship,
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  lying to you about their whole life.
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  You want to trust them now. You will never be happy with
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  somebody else's partner. That should be keeping the hot
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  and ready with y'all. Y'all.
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  I just got to keep it real. That should be blowing my mind
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  right there. I don't like why you're going to
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  be happy with somebody else's partner this cheating.
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  They're cheating on them with you, but you're going to be
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  happy with them. You see what I'm saying?
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  I'm just trying. I'm just trying to help you out.
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  Wake up. If you're in this situation,
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  it's time to wake up because you don't look so you.
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  If you don't wake up now, you'll be looking stupid as hell in the
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  future and you'll be like that. I should have listened.
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  You should have the future, the future, your future.
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  You just say your future is bleak.
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  If you keep believing the future of faking, your future with this
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  person is going to be bleak because if they can lie and feel
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  like they can get away with it, lie and feel like they can just
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  manipulate you anytime, they're going to keep lying.
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  Why would they tell you the truth when a lie works?
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  If the lie works, they're going to keep lying.
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  I hope you understand that right there.
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  If the lying works right now, I'm just going to keep lying to
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  you because it works. Like future faking is a weapon
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  and a narcissistic person uses to keep you stuck.
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  I promise we're going to talk about this later.
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  Future faking doesn't have to be deep.
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  It doesn't have to be 510 years into the future.
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  That's casting a vision, right? Future faking can be later on
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  this evening. We'll talk about that later.
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  And it never happens. That's future faking.
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  That's lying about the future. They know that.
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  They know that they're not going to talk about it.
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  We'll handle the situation later.
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  We'll just talk about this later.
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  We'll just talk about this tomorrow.
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  That's future faking and it never happens, right?
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  And that's why I said it's so important right there, y'all, to
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  understand that and to work through this situation in order
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  to heal and grow and process this type of stuff.
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  You're going to be OK. It's just like you have to fight
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  through the future thinking you have to fight through it.
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  Otherwise you just end up on the receiving end of somebody
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  treating you horribly, doing you wrong and making you look
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  stupid. And the more stupid you look or
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  feel is you're going to start like a dumb spiral.
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  You're going to start spiraling out of control.
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  Well I've I've already done this one dumb thing, might as well
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  keep doing it. No, no you don't have to keep
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  doing it. Once you understand it, you can
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  release yourself from it. I promise you can.
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  Anyways y'all I'll keep looking up.
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  My battery about to go dead so I got to cut this video short.
• 11:19
  mentalhillness.net for all my coaching, my courses, my courses
• 11:22
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• 11:25
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• 11:27
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• 11:30
  just my website mentalhillness.net to check out
• 11:33
  the courses, my support group that have helping hundreds of
• 11:35
  hundreds of people. Y'all appreciate it.
• 11:37
  Hit the subscribe, turn on those notifications so you don't miss
• 11:40
  the launch in the podcast this week and I am out.