Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / TMI with Martha Stewart

Transcript

TMI with Martha Stewart · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

0:01
Speaker 1: Oh, good morning morning. How are you, Chelsea. Well, we're
0:05
Speaker 1: in New York City today. It's a beautiful day in
0:08
Speaker 1: the neighborhood. Joe and I have been exercising, like to
0:12
Speaker 1: fitness fanatics since we've been in New York City. That's amazing.
0:15
Speaker 1: We have walked the other day, he walked thirty five
0:17
Speaker 1: thousand steps. I don't know why I didn't, but I
0:20
Speaker 1: guess Disneyland. I know he's so he loves it. You
0:23
Speaker 1: know that little app, your heart app on your phone
0:26
Speaker 1: and you can track your steps. And we rented city
0:28
Speaker 1: bikes yesterday and we drove all the way while we rode,
0:32
Speaker 1: not drove. I hate when people say they drove a bike.
0:35
Speaker 1: We rode all the way up to Central Park, all
0:37
Speaker 1: the way around Central Park. We first we got our
0:38
Speaker 1: little bagel because we've been trying at different bagel places
0:41
Speaker 1: all over the city so far. Yeah, I do, but
0:43
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's called. So that's helpful. And
0:47
Speaker 1: we rode our bikes up. We got a bagel, cream
0:50
Speaker 1: cheese and locks and the whole thing, and then we go.
0:53
Speaker 1: We drove a road through Central Park, stopped at one
0:58
Speaker 1: of these little pools ponds. It was more like an
1:00
Speaker 1: algae pond, but it was pretty We ate our bagel.
1:03
Speaker 1: Then we rode our bikes all the way down the
1:05
Speaker 1: West Side Highway to our favorite little restaurant, Grand Banks,
1:09
Speaker 1: where we sit on a boat and we had like
1:11
Speaker 1: a strawberry mohito, and then we rode our bikes all
1:14
Speaker 1: the way back up town and it was just glorious.
1:17
Speaker 1: I mean, New York City is just so much fun,
1:21
Speaker 1: especially when you don't live here, like it's always a vacation.
1:24
Speaker 1: And Joe has started a laundrymat in our hotel room,
1:28
Speaker 1: so he does laundry pretty much from I wake up
1:32
Speaker 1: and the dryers going every morning, so he can must
1:35
Speaker 1: wake up in the middle of the night and then
1:36
Speaker 1: put another load. And so you guys, actually you have
1:38
Speaker 1: a washer in our hotel room and it's more like
1:42
Speaker 1: an apartment than a hotel room. That we read and
1:45
Speaker 1: he does our laundry and then I hear the washing machine.
1:48
Speaker 1: He does laundry constantly, and then he irons it all
1:52
Speaker 1: and then he does it again. He starts again, and
1:55
Speaker 1: if everything's clean, but it's everything's a mess, like everything's
2:00
Speaker 1: shrunk or tight eyed. So the other day I got
2:03
Speaker 1: a jumpsuit out of the dryer and it just had
2:06
Speaker 1: chocolate stains everywhere, And I was like, what the funk
2:10
Speaker 1: is this? Is this like a tight eye situation that
2:13
Speaker 1: you're trying out, like what he goes to hunting? That
2:16
Speaker 1: would it must have been something in your pocket, like
2:19
Speaker 1: a piece of chocolate, which is so me, you know,
2:21
Speaker 1: to have like a chocolate nutcluster left over in my pocket,
2:24
Speaker 1: Like so my modeled so gross. Yeah, so one of
2:27
Speaker 1: my jumpsuits was ruined, and one of my sweatpants, a
2:29
Speaker 1: pair of sweatpants was also ruined, and that one had
2:31
Speaker 1: a big chocolate stain right on the asshole. So I
2:34
Speaker 1: could definitely not wear that one. And so I told
2:37
Speaker 1: him to put a pin in his laundromat and learn
2:40
Speaker 1: how to fucking do laundry before continuing. And then he
2:43
Speaker 1: told me that that's racial profiling because all Chinese people
2:47
Speaker 1: run laundromats. And I said, but you're not Chinese, So
2:50
Speaker 1: what how is that racial profile? You're Filipino? He said,
2:53
Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about. I mean, I was
2:55
Speaker 1: going to ask if you said that he irons. I
2:57
Speaker 1: feel like it's a known thing that white people don't
2:59
Speaker 1: iron their clothes enough, like I am currently wearing an
3:03
Speaker 1: unroned color. That's funny. Well, that would make sense. And
3:06
Speaker 1: my privilege, like we don't even think we have to
3:08
Speaker 1: iron our clothes. We could just go out looking like schleps.
3:10
Speaker 1: I don't have to say at least my husband is
3:12
Speaker 1: one man who I told him at the beginning of
3:14
Speaker 1: our marriage, I will never iron your shirts if you
3:16
Speaker 1: would like them iron, he died, Well, this isn't the fifties. Yeah,
3:21
Speaker 1: I mean, nobody should be ironing anything for anybody else.
3:23
Speaker 1: Unless Joe wants to continue iron name my things, that's fine.
3:27
Speaker 1: But I would appreciate him taking out the laundry part,
3:30
Speaker 1: because he's ruined a couple of my jumpsuits now, either
3:32
Speaker 1: by shrinking them like they're too you know, some of
3:35
Speaker 1: them you're not supposed to watch, just supposed to dry clean.
3:37
Speaker 1: But I did send like three of my jumpsuits down
3:39
Speaker 1: to dry clean at the hotel that we stay at,
3:41
Speaker 1: and I have to say, I got back and I
3:44
Speaker 1: just caught the number out of the corner of my eye,
3:46
Speaker 1: and I said, what is It was five hundred and
3:49
Speaker 1: eighty six dollars to dry clean three jumpsuits, And I
3:52
Speaker 1: was like, you guys, that's not right. Even I know
3:55
Speaker 1: that's not right. One of my girlfriends, she lives in
3:58
Speaker 1: West Hollywood. I'm sure she was getting a stun in
4:00
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills. She said she took several sweaters and two
4:04
Speaker 1: blankets that you need to dry clean to a dry cleaner's.
4:08
Speaker 1: She got the bell, went to pick it up. It
4:10
Speaker 1: was sixteen hundred dollars. I was like, where are you taking?
4:15
Speaker 1: She goes, oh, with such if your dry cleaner has
4:17
Speaker 1: a name and it's not just dry cleaner, then you
4:20
Speaker 1: should not be taking, especially your blankets. There blanket, I
4:23
Speaker 1: didn't know you could dry clean. I guess that makes
4:25
Speaker 1: sense dry clean blanket grant comforters and yeah, yeah, I
4:30
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just glad that I don't. I you know,
4:33
Speaker 1: laundry feels good when it's done, because we've been on
4:35
Speaker 1: the road now for like three weeks, the both of us,
4:38
Speaker 1: and we have so much accumulation of dirty stuff. So
4:41
Speaker 1: it does feel good to have it clean. But it
4:44
Speaker 1: doesn't feel good when it's all different colors and different lens.
4:46
Speaker 1: When you get it out, you can never wear it again. Yeah,
4:49
Speaker 1: so you know, there you go, there you have it.
4:52
Speaker 1: That's the crux of our That's what our relationship is
4:54
Speaker 1: about currently dry cleaning or laundry. Sorry, okay, everybody. Here
4:59
Speaker 1: are my up ming stand up dates. I'll be at
5:01
Speaker 1: the Just for Last Comedy Festival in Montreal July, hosting
5:04
Speaker 1: a gala Gala also pronounced as Gala. I am in
5:09
Speaker 1: Vancouver August twelve, two shows in Vancouver. I'm in Calgary Saturday,
5:14
Speaker 1: August thirteen and Sunday August fourteen. That's Calgary. And then
5:18
Speaker 1: I have tons of dates coming up in the fall,
5:21
Speaker 1: starting with Saratoga, California, Niagara Falls, Long Beach, California, Bakersfield, California,
5:29
Speaker 1: Pasa Roblais, California, Wheatland, California, and lots of places in Florida, Tampa,
5:36
Speaker 1: Fort Myers, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, and the list goes
5:40
Speaker 1: on and on. Oh in San Diego and Riverside, California.
5:42
Speaker 1: So lots of dates in California and Tucson, Colorado Springs. Anyway,
5:46
Speaker 1: go to Chelsea Handler dot com for your tickets. I
5:49
Speaker 1: will see you guys all there. These will be the
5:51
Speaker 1: final dates of my Vaccinated and Horny tour, and I
5:54
Speaker 1: can't wait to see all of you in person. Now
5:57
Speaker 1: that everybody well most people are vaccinated and officially horny.
6:03
Speaker 1: That's with three at the end, Katherine, just in case
6:06
Speaker 1: you didn't know how to spell horny. Perfect. Okay, So
6:09
Speaker 1: today we have somebody on who is very You'll know
6:13
Speaker 1: her when you hear her. Her website is called Martha
6:17
Speaker 1: dot com. The Bedford by Martha Stewart is her new
6:22
Speaker 1: immersive restaurant in Vegas. Have you heard of that yet?
6:25
Speaker 1: An immersive restaurant. She's got CBD, she's got a CBD line,
6:30
Speaker 1: she has nineteen crimes, Martha's Chardonnay, and her name is
6:34
Speaker 1: Martha Stewart. She's the founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.
6:39
Speaker 1: It's the dream to have an omnimedia Martha. Welcome to
6:43
Speaker 1: the show. Hi, It's always such a delight to see you. Well,
6:46
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that you're here in my office and
6:50
Speaker 1: that we can talk. You know, we've never really just talked. Yes,
6:54
Speaker 1: we've interacted before. We've had some social media interaction. We
6:59
Speaker 1: bumped into each other most recently at Jimmy Fallon show.
7:02
Speaker 1: That was so fun, but I think it was seth
7:04
Speaker 1: Meyers though, oh you know what it was, Seth Meyers.
7:07
Speaker 1: It's so hard to keep all these men straight, Isn't
7:09
Speaker 1: it very hard because you do get mixed up. Late
7:12
Speaker 1: night is late night, and there's like at least three
7:15
Speaker 1: or four of them that you have to keep track of. Yeah,
7:17
Speaker 1: you know, and I was just your favorite. Oh god,
7:20
Speaker 1: don't ask to ask me that. I would have to
7:22
Speaker 1: say Jimmy Fallon just because I do his show the
7:24
Speaker 1: most often, so I would say that, you know, he's
7:27
Speaker 1: a real sweetheart. I like all of them. Is so hard.
7:30
Speaker 1: I missed David Litterman the most. Well, you guys had
7:33
Speaker 1: a nice report, and we we worked together a long time.
7:36
Speaker 1: And now I think I've appeared on Seth Meyers more
7:39
Speaker 1: than any other guests. That was a record for a while.
7:42
Speaker 1: And now I don't know. I think I like Stephen Colbert.
7:46
Speaker 1: Do you do that show? Oh yeah, I've done it,
7:50
Speaker 1: but I don't regularly. I did Fallon more regularly. He's
7:53
Speaker 1: a little more difficult, Yeah, but he's really smart. But
7:56
Speaker 1: Letterman was difficult. No, No, I know Letterman had a
8:00
Speaker 1: nice relationship. And did you guys have a relationship off screen?
8:03
Speaker 1: I wish yeah, Well, because a lot of you know,
8:07
Speaker 1: I was reading this Joan Rivers book because I was
8:09
Speaker 1: I recently inducted her into the Comedy Hall of Fame
8:11
Speaker 1: for Netflix, and I was reading a Joan Rivers book
8:14
Speaker 1: and she was talking about her dynamic with Johnny Carson.
8:16
Speaker 1: Did you ever do Johnny Carson show? Yes, yeah, that
8:18
Speaker 1: was That was a hard show to do, That's what
8:20
Speaker 1: she said, because everyone thought they had this great relationship,
8:23
Speaker 1: but it was only for on camera. There was nothing
8:26
Speaker 1: going on off camera. Did you Joan Rivers have any
8:29
Speaker 1: affairs with anybody? Um, not that she spoke about in
8:33
Speaker 1: the book, But I mean, I guess, you know, she
8:35
Speaker 1: seemed to be like a person under herself. But I
8:37
Speaker 1: don't mean narcissism or anything like that. Just she was
8:40
Speaker 1: just so powerful, like her presence was so strong that
8:43
Speaker 1: it would be hard to tell anybody else. But I
8:45
Speaker 1: think she did. I think I wouldn't. I think I
8:46
Speaker 1: eated her house once, and I think there was a
8:48
Speaker 1: man around. Well, that's good to know, speaking of men.
8:51
Speaker 1: What's going on in your love life these days? Nothing.
8:54
Speaker 1: I had two mad crushes in the last month, which
8:57
Speaker 1: is really good for me. Yeah, it turns out, you know,
9:01
Speaker 1: one of them is married to the mother of some
9:04
Speaker 1: friends of mine, and and I just he's so attractive,
9:08
Speaker 1: but you don't you can't be a home record. No
9:09
Speaker 1: I'm not. I've never been a home record, never, and
9:12
Speaker 1: I've tried really hard not to be. It's hard to
9:14
Speaker 1: have had the opportunity record and I have not taken
9:18
Speaker 1: anybody up on it. And that's really where that's where
9:21
Speaker 1: I meet men. They're all they're all marriage to friends
9:24
Speaker 1: of mine or something like that. Well, it's very difficult
9:26
Speaker 1: because I think there are certain ages we go through
9:28
Speaker 1: where it's very tempting because you want to believe that, oh,
9:31
Speaker 1: maybe this relationship that they're in is temporary, or maybe
9:34
Speaker 1: they'll die. I always think, oh, gosh, couldn't that person
9:37
Speaker 1: just die the wife you're not not painfully just die
9:41
Speaker 1: and then But it hasn't worked out. No, it hasn't
9:45
Speaker 1: worked out. But what I would say, I mean, I
9:47
Speaker 1: find it curious because when was your when was your
9:50
Speaker 1: last relationship? A while ago, not too long ago. But
9:53
Speaker 1: while I go, Okay, so it's not that far in
9:55
Speaker 1: the distance, right, so like a hundred years or well,
9:59
Speaker 1: we know you're not a hundred years old. To Martha
10:01
Speaker 1: nobody thinks that, and it speaking of you have a
10:04
Speaker 1: lot of years ahead of you. But I would like
10:07
Speaker 1: to know what, youth, what what do you think is
10:09
Speaker 1: the most important thing in terms of legacy and leaving behind?
10:12
Speaker 1: What is the thing that's most important for you to
10:14
Speaker 1: be known for? Um, I would like to leave and
10:17
Speaker 1: I think I am in the process of leaving a
10:20
Speaker 1: vast library of good, authentic information for good living. That's
10:27
Speaker 1: really It sounds kind of high minded and blah blah blah,
10:29
Speaker 1: but it's actually a serious thing. You know, growing up,
10:32
Speaker 1: I had the joy of cooking, and I had maybe
10:36
Speaker 1: the better homes and Gardens house of a book of
10:39
Speaker 1: household management. But I didn't have the Martha Stewart books
10:43
Speaker 1: which are so phenomenally useful, and I didn't have the
10:48
Speaker 1: ideas and the videos that we've created and produced over
10:52
Speaker 1: the years. So so leaving that kind of legacy of
10:55
Speaker 1: really good education, but also with a with a flair
10:59
Speaker 1: for forliness and joyfulness and beauty, because I think we
11:03
Speaker 1: what we do is pretty beautiful and all that information
11:07
Speaker 1: we've created, that's a that's a good legacy. And did
11:09
Speaker 1: you know when you were a little girl that this
11:11
Speaker 1: is what you were going to be doing when you
11:12
Speaker 1: grew up. No, Actually, I always wanted to be a teacher.
11:17
Speaker 1: I was brought up loving my teachers. I was encouraged
11:20
Speaker 1: to be a teacher to help little kids. I was
11:24
Speaker 1: always doing the birthday parties and creating all kinds of
11:27
Speaker 1: interesting things for the children to do, even when I
11:30
Speaker 1: was a child. That started when I was about ten.
11:33
Speaker 1: So teaching was always ingrained in me as a very
11:37
Speaker 1: high minded profession, and that I could do it to
11:40
Speaker 1: millions of people via television and via the Internet and
11:44
Speaker 1: via magazines and books. That really has been fantastic. Yeah, yeah,
11:49
Speaker 1: I mean it's really Could you have ever imagined that
11:52
Speaker 1: you would have such an empire like this? I don't.
11:55
Speaker 1: I don't think like that. I just think that. And
11:57
Speaker 1: I just worked day to day and build and build
12:00
Speaker 1: and try to try to fix and build and fix
12:03
Speaker 1: and repair and build and create. That's how I go.
12:07
Speaker 1: And what do you think the most influential relationships have
12:10
Speaker 1: been in your life that have contributed to your sense
12:12
Speaker 1: of self and your sense of success. Well, first of all,
12:15
Speaker 1: I guess it was my parents, and I had a
12:18
Speaker 1: nice relationship with both parents. I was my father's favorite
12:22
Speaker 1: which didn't make me happy all the time, because I
12:24
Speaker 1: don't think parents should have favorites. How many children six
12:27
Speaker 1: the same as you? Yeah, what number are you? I
12:30
Speaker 1: am number two? You were the baby, I'm number six. Well,
12:33
Speaker 1: you're spoiled brat, and you got what you wanted, probably exactly,
12:37
Speaker 1: but I got nothing that I wanted. I had to
12:39
Speaker 1: work for every single Number two is a pretty hard
12:41
Speaker 1: position to be, except that I got my father's attention
12:46
Speaker 1: and none of the other kids did. He somehow fixated
12:49
Speaker 1: on me, so and he and I were really good friends,
12:54
Speaker 1: and I felt uncomfortable sometimes because I was he liked
12:57
Speaker 1: me better than the other kids, and everybody knew it. Yeah,
13:01
Speaker 1: they pretty much knew it, and I'm sure they held
13:04
Speaker 1: it against me, and they probably still do. But my
13:08
Speaker 1: mother was the egalitarian and she was great. She had
13:12
Speaker 1: no favorites at all, and that kind of irked some
13:16
Speaker 1: of the kids, but she was everyone was equal, everyone
13:20
Speaker 1: got the share. You know. When my mother died, it
13:23
Speaker 1: was so amazing. Her will was down to the penny
13:26
Speaker 1: divided amongst the six children, you know, kind of nice. Well,
13:31
Speaker 1: I think that's what a mother is meant to do,
13:34
Speaker 1: is to love all of her children equally, because if
13:36
Speaker 1: you ask any woman who their favorite child is, they
13:38
Speaker 1: all say, oh, that's impossible. And if you ask any man,
13:41
Speaker 1: their questions start to vary and they'll say things like
13:43
Speaker 1: whoever needs me the most. You know, men love to
13:46
Speaker 1: be needed. So how how does your relationship with your siblings?
13:49
Speaker 1: Do they still feel that way? Do they still make
13:51
Speaker 1: fun of the fact that you were the favorite? Well, no,
13:53
Speaker 1: because we're I mean, my two closest siblings died unexpectedly.
13:59
Speaker 1: The two youngest children died and um not not after
14:04
Speaker 1: they were married and after they both had children, and
14:07
Speaker 1: they just died from stupidity. I think I think they
14:10
Speaker 1: were very careless about their health, so they did not
14:14
Speaker 1: have to die. That's my theory, and I think it's
14:17
Speaker 1: their children's theory also. So they've missed out on the grandchildren,
14:21
Speaker 1: and they've missed out on the success of the of
14:23
Speaker 1: their own children. It's it's sad, but they were they
14:26
Speaker 1: were my favorites, my brother George and my sister Laura.
14:29
Speaker 1: And Laura worked for me for a very long time
14:32
Speaker 1: and George was a builder and he did a lot
14:35
Speaker 1: of projects with me and two fabulous kids, and I'm
14:39
Speaker 1: friends with all their children, you know, nice, nice friends
14:43
Speaker 1: with their children, which is which is important to me.
14:46
Speaker 1: But the other is my sister Kathy married a man
14:49
Speaker 1: that hated me. So you know, we don't even go there.
14:53
Speaker 1: We try to have a relationship, but not not a
14:55
Speaker 1: very close one. Is this too much information? It's great?
14:58
Speaker 1: And then brother Eric, Brother Eric, he's my older brother
15:02
Speaker 1: and we've always been friends. And he's a fine craftsman
15:06
Speaker 1: and I really admire his artistry and he knows it.
15:10
Speaker 1: And he's older than I am, and he's, you know,
15:12
Speaker 1: complaining a little bit about getting old, and I don't
15:14
Speaker 1: I don't like that. I don't want him to complain
15:17
Speaker 1: because he's a strong guy. And then we have the
15:19
Speaker 1: brother that that brother, I guess every family has, I
15:24
Speaker 1: know which one you're talking about. I have one of
15:26
Speaker 1: those two have one. Yes. But he had a good
15:28
Speaker 1: reason he went to Vietnam. Oh okay, So he is
15:31
Speaker 1: a very good reason for being the way he was. Yeah,
15:35
Speaker 1: my brother does not have a good reason. He did
15:37
Speaker 1: not go to Vietnam. So I'll have to follow up
15:40
Speaker 1: on that later. Yeah, but I wish my brother would
15:42
Speaker 1: write a book about his experience in Vietnam. Those guys
15:45
Speaker 1: don't want to write books about their experiences, Yeah, because
15:48
Speaker 1: they don't want to talk or remember it. It's too Yeah,
15:50
Speaker 1: and you know what, it would be so interesting now
15:54
Speaker 1: in retrospect to know what they went through. I mean,
15:57
Speaker 1: Vietnam was a hard war. Yeah, yeah, Vietnam. For our generation,
16:02
Speaker 1: it was Iraq and Afghanistan. And we still haven't even
16:05
Speaker 1: seen the after effects of what those soldiers went through. Right,
16:09
Speaker 1: And kids don't know anything about war, that's the thing. Well, yeah,
16:12
Speaker 1: and it's happening all over the world. Generation right now
16:14
Speaker 1: doesn't know about war and the effect it has on people. Uh,
16:20
Speaker 1: it's so crazy to me that that they don't know it.
16:23
Speaker 1: And yet Ukraine is happening right now, and and they
16:27
Speaker 1: don't know, they don't understand how devastating it is to
16:30
Speaker 1: a population. Yeah. Seeing those pictures coming out of Mariopole
16:33
Speaker 1: or any of those cities, you're just like, it's the
16:35
Speaker 1: most senseless act of destruction. The women with their babies
16:39
Speaker 1: crossing borders for food and shelter, and the children carrying
16:42
Speaker 1: their little white kitty cats on their shoulders. Yeah, yeah,
16:45
Speaker 1: it's so horrible. So to pivot, I want to ask
16:48
Speaker 1: you something about your experience. What do you think is
16:51
Speaker 1: one of your favorite things about growing older? Favorite thing? Yeah,
16:58
Speaker 1: I don't have one, Yes, you do, come on, not
17:02
Speaker 1: one because first of all, I don't think about age
17:06
Speaker 1: or aging. I do not think about it. Uh, some
17:09
Speaker 1: thing's happened to you. You know, you're your foot, you
17:12
Speaker 1: stepping a hole in your rupture your achilles tendant. I
17:15
Speaker 1: did that last year, and that was a stupid thing
17:18
Speaker 1: because it's hurt me for a year. And that that's
17:23
Speaker 1: the least favorite thing is is getting into any kind
17:25
Speaker 1: of pain. Yeah, my favorite thing about getting older is
17:28
Speaker 1: absolutely not one thing. And there you have it, everybody,
17:32
Speaker 1: there's not one favorite thing about getting older. I thought
17:35
Speaker 1: we would impart some positive wisdom from Martha's store. Not
17:38
Speaker 1: a thing people. Okay, Well, on that note, we're gonna
17:41
Speaker 1: take some callers. I give advice. It's just off the cough.
17:44
Speaker 1: I'm not a medical doctor. You're not a medical doctor
17:47
Speaker 1: unless you are a medical doctor. And I don't know
17:49
Speaker 1: about that. But I know a lot about medicine. Yeah
17:51
Speaker 1: so do I. Actually I love medicine. So Katherine, tell
17:54
Speaker 1: us what we have in store for this episode. While
17:56
Speaker 1: we have all kinds of questions that are right up Martha's.
17:59
Speaker 1: Ali will take a quick break and we'll be right
18:02
Speaker 1: back with Martha Stewart and Chelsea. Okay, and we're back.
18:10
Speaker 1: And Martha brought some Easter eggs, even though they were
18:13
Speaker 1: just they're not Easter eggs, They're just eggs from her
18:15
Speaker 1: chickens who lay different colored eggs. Yeah, I thought they
18:18
Speaker 1: were Easter eggs, and then upon closer inspection and Martha
18:22
Speaker 1: telling me, I realized they are not Easter eggs. Well,
18:26
Speaker 1: our first question comes from Heather. She says, Dear Chelsea,
18:30
Speaker 1: knowing how much you and your family love Martha's vineyard
18:33
Speaker 1: and that you go every year, I was hoping you
18:35
Speaker 1: could share some suggestions on where to go and what
18:38
Speaker 1: to do. My husband and are two year old, are
18:41
Speaker 1: joining another couple and they're one year old at the
18:43
Speaker 1: end of July. Staying in Edgartown one of the places
18:47
Speaker 1: we should absolutely visit. And where are the best places
18:49
Speaker 1: to eat? The more outdoors the better. We can also
18:52
Speaker 1: find some adults only time without the kids stay well,
18:56
Speaker 1: Heather m and I just have to say, Martha, you
18:59
Speaker 1: may already know this, but in researching this question, I
19:02
Speaker 1: learned that a very vast portion of the Internet thinks
19:05
Speaker 1: that you own Martha's vineyard as as By the way,
19:10
Speaker 1: all my nieces and nephews growing up thought it was
19:12
Speaker 1: Aunt Martha's vineyard, and they would say when I'd say
19:16
Speaker 1: I'm going to the vineyard, Aunt Martha's vineyard, they all thought,
19:20
Speaker 1: not only was it my island, but it was also
19:22
Speaker 1: I had a vineyard on the island, and that's why
19:26
Speaker 1: I stay far away from Martha's vineyard. I don't ever
19:30
Speaker 1: go to Martha's vineyard, so I couldn't offer any advice.
19:33
Speaker 1: That's so that's a brand disruption, and she's got her
19:36
Speaker 1: own thing going on. She doesn't need to be tied
19:38
Speaker 1: to some island exactly. If you're staying in Edgartown, you're
19:41
Speaker 1: gonna find plenty of things to do. Most places to
19:44
Speaker 1: eat are the quarter Deck, which has like outdoor total
19:47
Speaker 1: vineyard food like fried clams, shride shrimp, cheeseburgers, hot dogs,
19:51
Speaker 1: all that stuff that you can get that's fun for kids.
19:53
Speaker 1: If you go down to the wharf, there's tons of
19:55
Speaker 1: places for kids, little candy stores, lots of shopping all
19:59
Speaker 1: down on edgar Town, up and down Main Street and
20:02
Speaker 1: around the Harbor View. In hotel is a great place
20:04
Speaker 1: to have a drink and look at the sunset harbor
20:07
Speaker 1: side in and then there's the wharf and everywhere you
20:10
Speaker 1: go around there you'll find places you can't go wrong
20:12
Speaker 1: on Martha's Vineyard. And then you're gonna want to go
20:14
Speaker 1: up island too, to like see the more quiet parts
20:17
Speaker 1: of the vineyard, which is West Tisbury and Tisbury and
20:21
Speaker 1: uh the three main towns are Oak Bluffs, Vineyard Haven
20:24
Speaker 1: and edgar Town. And then up island there's some really pristine,
20:28
Speaker 1: beautiful beaches like in chill Mark and Menemsha. Those are
20:32
Speaker 1: places you want to go and get a great lobster
20:34
Speaker 1: roll and watch the sunset. Especially it's specifically the beach
20:37
Speaker 1: in Menemsha, so you're gonna have a beautiful time in
20:40
Speaker 1: the summertime. That's my special spot, Martha's Vineyard. It is. Yeah,
20:45
Speaker 1: my family, we had a house. They're growing up. You go, now, Yeah,
20:48
Speaker 1: we go every summer. You're really knowledgeable about Yeah, I
20:52
Speaker 1: mean I couldn't even I've been going to Maine for
20:55
Speaker 1: like thirty years, and I couldn't tell you all those
20:57
Speaker 1: things about my island. I told you about my experience
21:00
Speaker 1: in Biddeford Pool, right where I ran into the bushes,
21:02
Speaker 1: and then I went over to Kenny Bunkport to the
21:04
Speaker 1: compound and George Bush gave me a tour of all
21:08
Speaker 1: of his artwork and then wouldn't let us leave the house.
21:11
Speaker 1: We were captured because Barbara Bush wanted us to come
21:13
Speaker 1: over to play pickle ball, and so I brought my
21:16
Speaker 1: whole crew. I had my brothers, my sisters, like ten friends.
21:19
Speaker 1: We went over played pickleball and then I hear the
21:21
Speaker 1: former president go, miss Handler, is that you? And I thought, oh,
21:25
Speaker 1: I can't be seen with this guy after all my
21:28
Speaker 1: political you know, musing said publicly, I'm like, I gotta
21:31
Speaker 1: get out of here. And then he dragged me into
21:37
Speaker 1: his house. He goes, you're not leaving. He goes, come
21:39
Speaker 1: look at all my artwork. And I had sunglasses on,
21:42
Speaker 1: and he said I need you to take your sunglasses off,
21:44
Speaker 1: and I said, I'm pretty stoned, so I think I'm
21:46
Speaker 1: going to leave them on. And he looked at me
21:49
Speaker 1: and thought I was kidding again, which I wasn't. And
21:51
Speaker 1: then shortly after there we were able to skid attle.
21:53
Speaker 1: But it was actually he's very charming in person. I'm sure,
21:55
Speaker 1: you've you've Yes, I've met him. And when I was
21:59
Speaker 1: in Kenny for two years ago, I actually had dinner
22:03
Speaker 1: with Barbara's daughter and her husband. We had a very
22:06
Speaker 1: nice dinner. The Bushes were away at that that weekend,
22:09
Speaker 1: so I didn't get to see them, but I just
22:11
Speaker 1: saw George W's wife in Texas, so I went down
22:14
Speaker 1: to give a talk and she was the honoree. So
22:17
Speaker 1: we had a very nice little chat. Yeah, I love
22:19
Speaker 1: Barbara his daughter. Yeah, she's great. So, yes, have a
22:22
Speaker 1: great time in Martha's vineyard and those are the places
22:24
Speaker 1: to hit up wonderful. Well, we have one caller today.
22:27
Speaker 1: Her name's Sabrina and she says, dear Chelsea, my name
22:31
Speaker 1: is Sabrina and I'm twenty four years old from New Jersey.
22:35
Speaker 1: I came out to myself as queer in twenty nineteen,
22:38
Speaker 1: to my friends and sister in early and then to
22:42
Speaker 1: my parents in the middle of My parents were initially supportive,
22:46
Speaker 1: telling me they would love me quote no matter what,
22:49
Speaker 1: but quickly became dismissive, pointing out men they wish I
22:52
Speaker 1: would date, which was really hard on me. It took
22:55
Speaker 1: so much courage to come out in the first place.
22:57
Speaker 1: I started dating my first girlfriend in September and decided
23:01
Speaker 1: to try and reach out to my parents to talk
23:03
Speaker 1: about my sexuality and see if I felt safe enough
23:06
Speaker 1: to come forward about my relationship. Long story short, they
23:09
Speaker 1: told me that this was my problem to deal with,
23:12
Speaker 1: not theirs, and that they did not want to know
23:14
Speaker 1: anything pertaining to that aspect of my life. It's been
23:17
Speaker 1: hard for me to deal with both the fact that
23:19
Speaker 1: my parents will not provide me with the support, acceptance,
23:21
Speaker 1: and safe space that I had before I came out,
23:24
Speaker 1: as well as not being able to give my girlfriend
23:26
Speaker 1: everything her family has given me, which is nothing but
23:29
Speaker 1: open arms and love. Last I talked to them, they
23:32
Speaker 1: asked me to write down everything I needed from them
23:35
Speaker 1: and they would tell me if it's something they could
23:37
Speaker 1: give me. I tried to make them understand why the
23:40
Speaker 1: way they are going about this is simply sucked up
23:42
Speaker 1: and doesn't need to be this hard, But I'm still
23:45
Speaker 1: struggling to find the right words as well as a
23:47
Speaker 1: reason for why they've reacted in such a negative way.
23:51
Speaker 1: Everyone I have come out to thus far has been
23:53
Speaker 1: nothing but loving, supportive, and proud of me. Please help
23:57
Speaker 1: Sabrina and she's here with us on the phone. Okay, Hi, Sabrita, Hi,
24:04
Speaker 1: it's so nice to meet you, by the way. And
24:06
Speaker 1: Martha Thrett like, what I know, surprise, surprise, surprise. Well,
24:11
Speaker 1: I'm sort of surprised about your parents. Yeah, it's it's
24:16
Speaker 1: been pretty hard, I think, just especially since all of
24:20
Speaker 1: my friends and like literally everyone else I've come out
24:23
Speaker 1: to has been so supportive. I was taken aback for sure. Well,
24:28
Speaker 1: other than going to Chelsea, have you gone to a
24:30
Speaker 1: psychiatrist to work this out with your parents? Oh? Yeah,
24:34
Speaker 1: I joined a support group with other queer folks. I
24:38
Speaker 1: have gone to a few therapists. They all just teld
24:41
Speaker 1: me to like keep pushing forward, keep reaching out, kind
24:44
Speaker 1: of rip off the band aid, do everything I can.
24:46
Speaker 1: So that's kind of what I've been doing. But I
24:49
Speaker 1: understand she has a different perspective and ACROSSSS, so kind
24:53
Speaker 1: of giving her time I think has been the best
24:56
Speaker 1: that she needs. But I still feel like I'm not
24:59
Speaker 1: getting anything back from her. From your mom, yeah, my mom,
25:04
Speaker 1: I mostly have like the most emotional connection with my mom.
25:09
Speaker 1: My dad is like the sit back, I'm going to
25:11
Speaker 1: support you silently kind of person. So it doesn't feel
25:15
Speaker 1: natural for me to like want to go to him first,
25:19
Speaker 1: which is also an issue that that I have. Yeah,
25:22
Speaker 1: I think what you're describing is just going to take
25:25
Speaker 1: some time, you know, And I think you should go
25:27
Speaker 1: where the love is and when you have a support
25:29
Speaker 1: of welcoming family on your girlfriend's side, dive into that
25:33
Speaker 1: and lean into that during this time, because that's kind
25:35
Speaker 1: of the support you need. And you're taking care of
25:38
Speaker 1: yourself and that's never wrong. Looking out for yourself and
25:41
Speaker 1: standing up for yourself and being honest and forthright to
25:44
Speaker 1: the people you love about what you care about and
25:46
Speaker 1: what you want in this life and your sexual identity
25:49
Speaker 1: and all of that is important. So as long as
25:52
Speaker 1: you're being honest with yourself, then nobody can hold anything
25:54
Speaker 1: against you. Those are their issues that they're going to
25:57
Speaker 1: have to overcome. You can keep in contact with them
26:00
Speaker 1: and reach out and stuff, but it's it's going to
26:02
Speaker 1: be their own kind of journey. And in the meantime,
26:05
Speaker 1: you know, you should focus and go where the love
26:07
Speaker 1: is and just enjoy your time with your girlfriend, enjoy
26:11
Speaker 1: her family. You can get things from them that you're
26:13
Speaker 1: not getting from your own family. And I guarantee you
26:16
Speaker 1: your mother will come around. You're her daughter, you know,
26:19
Speaker 1: unless she's some evil, demonic wizard, like she's gonna come around.
26:23
Speaker 1: She's gonna miss you, and she's gonna want to be
26:25
Speaker 1: a part of your life. Yeah, it's just for me specifically.
26:29
Speaker 1: It's been hard because I am such an EmPATH and
26:33
Speaker 1: I do. I have a hard time moving forward with
26:38
Speaker 1: things if I know that I don't have acceptance from
26:41
Speaker 1: my parents. So just like me, that's naturally who I am.
26:46
Speaker 1: And I've kind of talked to my mom about this
26:48
Speaker 1: because she has been the type of person who's like,
26:51
Speaker 1: I don't care what anyone thinks, Like, I'm gonna do
26:54
Speaker 1: what I want that makes me happy. But that's just
26:57
Speaker 1: not who I am. Like, if I know that you
26:59
Speaker 1: love me and I care about your opinion, it's hard
27:02
Speaker 1: for me to like accept that it hasn't really progressed.
27:07
Speaker 1: But that's not an EmPATH. That's interdependency. An EmPATH is
27:10
Speaker 1: just feeling what other people are going through. Relying on
27:13
Speaker 1: other people's opinions of you is codependency or interdependency, So
27:18
Speaker 1: those two things have to be delineated in your mind.
27:21
Speaker 1: Those aren't the same thing. You know, and you're relying
27:24
Speaker 1: on your mother's acceptance of you. Like, if every single
27:26
Speaker 1: one of us had to rely on someone else's acceptance,
27:29
Speaker 1: none of us would be accepted. That's the most important
27:32
Speaker 1: in your life. That's your attachment figure. It's your mom.
27:34
Speaker 1: You said you have the most emotional connection to her,
27:37
Speaker 1: So that's why you're affected by this. I know it's difficult,
27:41
Speaker 1: but you have to learn a way to move through
27:43
Speaker 1: this period of time without relying on her approval because
27:47
Speaker 1: you don't have it, and you're not going to do
27:49
Speaker 1: anything to convince her to give it to you, except
27:52
Speaker 1: by living your life and demonstrating your happiness and your
27:55
Speaker 1: self love. You know, for yourself, you respecting yourself is
27:59
Speaker 1: the only way to get a people to respect you. Yeah.
28:02
Speaker 1: So she's also told me that she doesn't want me
28:06
Speaker 1: to like come out. So I have a younger brother.
28:08
Speaker 1: He doesn't know anything about this, and she's kind of
28:11
Speaker 1: making me wait. She doesn't want me to tell my family,
28:15
Speaker 1: which I feel like I'm ready to do, but I
28:19
Speaker 1: also don't want to betray her in that aspect. But
28:23
Speaker 1: now it's kind of like I'm getting to the point
28:26
Speaker 1: where I don't care how old is your brother. My
28:31
Speaker 1: brother is seventeen, he's he's in high school, right, What
28:35
Speaker 1: are your thoughts on that, Martha? Do you I think
28:37
Speaker 1: your brother is old enough to hear your truth. It's
28:39
Speaker 1: your story, like she doesn't get to write it for you. Yeah.
28:43
Speaker 1: I am so bad at things like this. If you
28:46
Speaker 1: inter relationships interpersonal, I'm horrible. This. Don't ask me to
28:51
Speaker 1: call it like maybe the alone. She's like, I'm just
28:55
Speaker 1: gonna be in my garden. Okay, that's where I don't
28:58
Speaker 1: have to get involved with anybody's personal affairs. I mean
29:02
Speaker 1: in our family there every kind of person, so we're
29:06
Speaker 1: used to it. Yeah, and I guess in your mother's
29:09
Speaker 1: family there, she's not used to differences. Yeah, they're They're Jewish,
29:14
Speaker 1: they have tradition. It's weird though Jews are pretty inclusive,
29:19
Speaker 1: you know, of everybody, especially gay people. Well yeah, because
29:23
Speaker 1: Jews are a marginalized group in their own rights. So
29:25
Speaker 1: I mean usually I grew up in a very Jewish
29:27
Speaker 1: community and they were welcoming to everybody. But you know,
29:31
Speaker 1: you telling your brother's your decision. Obviously, he's seventeen years old,
29:34
Speaker 1: he's old enough to hear it, and you lying to
29:36
Speaker 1: your brother is really just paving the way for him
29:39
Speaker 1: to be upset with you down the road for not
29:41
Speaker 1: being forthright. And I think it would be in your
29:43
Speaker 1: best interest to also maybe instead of talking to your
29:46
Speaker 1: mother directly, maybe composing an email where you could really
29:49
Speaker 1: write down everything you want to say. And that she's
29:51
Speaker 1: basically asking you to lie about your truth. She's not
29:55
Speaker 1: accepting who you're saying you are, and that's so disrespectful
29:58
Speaker 1: to you, and it's really kind of like slowing down
30:01
Speaker 1: your process of growing. And her opinion is never going
30:04
Speaker 1: to change the truth of the matter, and that's that
30:07
Speaker 1: you're gay and that you love women and that you
30:10
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend that you love. You know, like that's
30:13
Speaker 1: never going to change. So I think it would behoove
30:15
Speaker 1: you to think about writing that down in a letter
30:17
Speaker 1: to her and saying, you know, I need you to
30:19
Speaker 1: think about all the things I say and then come
30:21
Speaker 1: back to me when you're in a state of acceptance
30:23
Speaker 1: and reception instead of reactivity. Yeah, for sure, I will
30:28
Speaker 1: definitely do that. Take your mom to a therapist with
30:31
Speaker 1: you if you'd go. I've been trying for so many years,
30:35
Speaker 1: you don't even know. Yeah, she hears Martha say it,
30:38
Speaker 1: Hopefully she will. Yeah, just yea, record this part of
30:42
Speaker 1: the episode and just play it back to your mother. Yea. Well,
30:46
Speaker 1: thank you so much, Sabrina. Let us know how it goes. Okay, oh,
30:50
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Love. Likewise, thanks Sabrina, Bye bye.
30:55
Speaker 1: You get some heavy stuff here. It gets pretty heavy. Yeah,
31:00
Speaker 1: I just have to answer questions like how to scramble
31:02
Speaker 1: an egg. Yeah, well I could use that information as well.
31:09
Speaker 1: Luckily no one's calling me asking me how to scramble
31:11
Speaker 1: that egg, because it would be one hot mess. I
31:13
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever scrambled eggs without having to throw
31:15
Speaker 1: the pan away after the whole man. Yeah, basically. Well,
31:19
Speaker 1: our next question comes from single white female. She's fifty seven.
31:26
Speaker 1: She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm fifty seven and still single.
31:30
Speaker 1: I've embraced being single more than ever, and truly have
31:33
Speaker 1: never been one to have to have a man in
31:36
Speaker 1: my life. My parents divorced when I was three, and
31:38
Speaker 1: I'm an only child. I swore I would never get
31:41
Speaker 1: married unless I was sure it was right, and would
31:44
Speaker 1: not have children unless I was in a happy marriage.
31:47
Speaker 1: Well that's my fate as it stands now. I've had
31:50
Speaker 1: several long term relationships and lived with two of my boyfriends.
31:53
Speaker 1: My last relationship ended in I feel anxious about dating
31:58
Speaker 1: and have a really hard time being open to any
32:00
Speaker 1: one or feeling attracted to most men I meet. Trying
32:03
Speaker 1: the dating sites, but I hate them. I'm pretty fit, petite,
32:06
Speaker 1: and was blessed with decent jeans. Not to sound vain
32:09
Speaker 1: or anything, because I'm pretty modest, but I just have
32:12
Speaker 1: a younger look and attitude. I'm feeling embarrassed about being
32:15
Speaker 1: fifty seven and being still single. The past few years
32:18
Speaker 1: of the pandemic and living in a relatively new area
32:21
Speaker 1: have left me experiencing more solitude than I could ever imagine.
32:24
Speaker 1: I get in my loner, only child state and find
32:28
Speaker 1: the idea of having someone in my life constantly to
32:30
Speaker 1: be frightening and overwhelming, leaving a little space for hope,
32:33
Speaker 1: though of course I know you don't have a crystal ball.
32:36
Speaker 1: But will I ever find a partner in this world
32:38
Speaker 1: who I can deal with and who treats me with
32:40
Speaker 1: the respect and love that I want? Will this anxiety
32:43
Speaker 1: go away? I'm sincerely feeling a bit odd and alone
32:47
Speaker 1: in the world. My mom never remarried and stopped dating
32:51
Speaker 1: in her forties, and I don't want to end up
32:52
Speaker 1: like her. My dad found love at seveny I got married,
32:56
Speaker 1: so obviously it can always happen, right, ps how is
33:00
Speaker 1: too young to consider? I'm embarrassed to like guys know
33:03
Speaker 1: my age. Even on some levels, I should be proud
33:06
Speaker 1: yours truly single white female, single white female. Wow, they
33:11
Speaker 1: really open their hearts to you. I know, I know
33:16
Speaker 1: you are a trusted soul. What do you think about
33:18
Speaker 1: single dom in your fifties, Martha, Well, she's lucky. She's
33:22
Speaker 1: had a lot of relationships, it sounds like, so she
33:25
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like she's in terrible trouble. I have no
33:28
Speaker 1: idea about dating sites. I tried that for a while.
33:31
Speaker 1: I mean, what's actually when did you try plenty of fish? No,
33:35
Speaker 1: I went out with three different people, and the algorithm
33:38
Speaker 1: doesn't fit me, doesn't fit you. Well, I mean you're
33:41
Speaker 1: a special situation, Martha. I'm an odd situation, so so
33:45
Speaker 1: are you. Yeah, that's true dating. But I found my
33:48
Speaker 1: guy at forty six, So not on a dating site. No,
33:51
Speaker 1: not on a dating site, but I was on dating
33:53
Speaker 1: sites and I was definitely having sex through dating sites
33:56
Speaker 1: because well, I thought that's what they were for. And yeah,
34:00
Speaker 1: like there are so many. First of all, if you
34:02
Speaker 1: really don't want to be single, first stop saying that
34:05
Speaker 1: you're embarrassed of your age. You're not. You can't be
34:07
Speaker 1: embarrassed of your age. That's who you are. You're fifty
34:09
Speaker 1: seven years old. Own it. So start with that, some
34:12
Speaker 1: positive affirmations every morning, being happy about that, the fact
34:15
Speaker 1: that you're still alive at fifty seven, and that you're healthy,
34:18
Speaker 1: and that you look good and you you're you seem
34:20
Speaker 1: to feel good about yourself. I mean, well, she said,
34:23
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how good she feels about herself,
34:25
Speaker 1: because she kept saying she was embarrassed with things about herself.
34:27
Speaker 1: She's embarrassed he's single. She's embarrassed he's fifty seven. But
34:30
Speaker 1: then she says, she looks good, she's petite, and she's
34:32
Speaker 1: in good shape. You know, she's okay. She's okay, So
34:37
Speaker 1: go out, you know, just go out a few more
34:39
Speaker 1: times with different people. Yeah, you've got to exercise the
34:42
Speaker 1: muscle of going out. So get down those whether it's
34:44
Speaker 1: match dot Com or plenty of Fish or I don't
34:47
Speaker 1: know what the hell all the websites are now to
34:49
Speaker 1: know about plenty of Fish have you heard about popol
34:52
Speaker 1: singles dot com. If you're looking for black guys, that's
34:55
Speaker 1: a good site. There's plenty there's something for everybody. For
34:59
Speaker 1: Jewish people, ball, I don't want to fish, Sure, well,
35:02
Speaker 1: I think Plenty of Fish isn't actually about fish, but there.
35:05
Speaker 1: I once put my makeup artists on a dating site
35:08
Speaker 1: called shoot what was it? And it was for fishermen?
35:11
Speaker 1: And it was it was misleading, and I was like,
35:14
Speaker 1: I was like, why is every person holding a like
35:16
Speaker 1: a bass in every picture? I'm like, who are they
35:19
Speaker 1: looking for? Other fisherman? Like? Who are they looking for
35:22
Speaker 1: female fisherman? And then I was like, oh, this is
35:24
Speaker 1: a fishing website, Like this is for people who fish
35:27
Speaker 1: and that want to meet each other. But get out
35:29
Speaker 1: there and practice the exercise of dating, practice the exercise
35:33
Speaker 1: of being very owning who you are, that you are
35:36
Speaker 1: fifty seven. Yes, everyone's going through a weird time coming
35:39
Speaker 1: out of COVID. I mean even people who have big
35:42
Speaker 1: social lives. I'm assuming you do too, because you entertain
35:45
Speaker 1: a lot. It's weird. Everyone feels a little bit off
35:48
Speaker 1: and it's hard to get back in. But the longer
35:50
Speaker 1: you wait, the harder it's going to be. So it's
35:52
Speaker 1: better just to take the first step and then you
35:55
Speaker 1: know it'll flow more easily once you get back into
35:57
Speaker 1: practice and go on dates as an exercise. Don't even
36:01
Speaker 1: go on them thinking, oh, this is gonna be this
36:03
Speaker 1: great love. Like if he's not the perfect thing that
36:06
Speaker 1: you're looking for, or he's not handsome enough, or he's
36:08
Speaker 1: not thin enough or whatever you're into. If he's not
36:10
Speaker 1: meeting your requirements, who gives a ship? Just start going
36:14
Speaker 1: on dates to practice going on dates so that you
36:16
Speaker 1: get more comfortable with introducing yourself, telling your story and
36:20
Speaker 1: being proud of you who you are, because you know,
36:22
Speaker 1: you just said a bunch of great things about yourself
36:25
Speaker 1: and then a couple negatives. So just get into the
36:27
Speaker 1: practice of saying more positive and less negative and no
36:31
Speaker 1: negative if you can. I don't think it's hard. I
36:33
Speaker 1: think there are so many people out there that are
36:36
Speaker 1: looking for a partner, men and women and everything in
36:39
Speaker 1: between on the spectrum. People are looking, and so you'll
36:43
Speaker 1: be surprised that you know, you think you're alone, but
36:45
Speaker 1: you're never alone. Martha and I are alone. That's loneliness. Yeah,
36:52
Speaker 1: just be happy you're not famous and everybody knows your
36:54
Speaker 1: personality before you go on a date. Okay, think of that,
36:58
Speaker 1: think of that before you go on date. Yes, I'm
37:01
Speaker 1: sure the everyone just assumes exactly what you're going to be,
37:04
Speaker 1: like if you're on a first date for both of you, well,
37:07
Speaker 1: I mean it's imagine if you go on a date,
37:09
Speaker 1: like you're always presenting, even if you're not a celebrity,
37:12
Speaker 1: you're presenting what you think that you should be, right,
37:16
Speaker 1: you're not being completely honest about yourself. And then when
37:19
Speaker 1: you're a celebrity, it's like you're almost presenting what you
37:22
Speaker 1: think people think about you in a sense, like it's
37:26
Speaker 1: a it's even more of a trick, and you're like, wait,
37:29
Speaker 1: this doesn't feel authentic or real, even though as a
37:33
Speaker 1: famous personality or as a like celebrity, I know what
37:36
Speaker 1: people think about me mostly is true. Like I'm not
37:38
Speaker 1: putting on an act. This is pretty much who I
37:40
Speaker 1: am all the time. And I don't think you're really
37:42
Speaker 1: putting on an act either, Absolutely, am not. No, she's
37:47
Speaker 1: not putting on an act, and she's not trying to
37:49
Speaker 1: pret she's not trying to impress anybody, that's for sure.
37:52
Speaker 1: So I would just say get out there Okay, a
37:55
Speaker 1: single white female. Let us know how it goes. Let
37:58
Speaker 1: us know if and when you find love. We'll take
38:00
Speaker 1: a quick break right now and we'll come right back
38:03
Speaker 1: with Martha and Chelsea. And we're back with Martha and Chelsea.
38:12
Speaker 1: Martha just taught me how to make an omelet, and
38:15
Speaker 1: you didn't burn the pan. No, it's still stuck on
38:18
Speaker 1: the side of the wall. We things got a little
38:21
Speaker 1: carried away in the break. Sorry, well, Martha. This is
38:25
Speaker 1: the part of the show where we usually ask if
38:28
Speaker 1: our guests have any piece of advice they'd like to
38:31
Speaker 1: ask Chelsea, or you can give me a piece of advice.
38:36
Speaker 1: It's Martha. We can make an I can ask for advice,
38:39
Speaker 1: or I can give you a piece of advice. Well,
38:44
Speaker 1: I was I was lying on the massage table two
38:47
Speaker 1: days ago, and I asked my messur about you, and
38:53
Speaker 1: he said, oh, I really like her. I watched aller
38:55
Speaker 1: shows and I know, I know we're pretty well because
38:58
Speaker 1: he knew he knew you a lot better than I
39:00
Speaker 1: knew you. And he said, how does a comedian change
39:04
Speaker 1: there their acts so often? You've changed your act, and
39:11
Speaker 1: so he wanted to know why, why you've felt the
39:14
Speaker 1: need to change your act. Yeah, I just think it's
39:16
Speaker 1: an evolution. Like you know, you go through different phases
39:19
Speaker 1: in your life. You want to tackle different subjects, and
39:22
Speaker 1: you also you have to you shoot a special and
39:26
Speaker 1: then that materials out there, so you have to begin
39:28
Speaker 1: again and then you like, you know, the hour. I
39:30
Speaker 1: just shot my next special in Nashville, like three nights ago,
39:34
Speaker 1: and it's a completely different set. But it's all about
39:37
Speaker 1: It's about being single, starting in COVID kind of giving
39:42
Speaker 1: up on men and thinking, oh, I'll either become a
39:44
Speaker 1: late stage lesbian or I will just be single, and
39:48
Speaker 1: I'll do that because why why a late stage lesbian?
39:52
Speaker 1: Why are you attracted to women enough to know? But
39:55
Speaker 1: then you were just becoming so disappointing that I just thought,
39:58
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, they're all it is becoming unfuckable. So
40:01
Speaker 1: I thought, I'm going to have to transition. There's a
40:03
Speaker 1: mass exodus of adults onset lesbian as I'm happening. So
40:07
Speaker 1: I called my sister and I asked her if she
40:08
Speaker 1: wanted to get a farm in Maine together, and she said,
40:11
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a relationship with you romantically,
40:14
Speaker 1: So I canceled that plan, and so it's kind of
40:17
Speaker 1: my journey of coming out of COVID and then meeting
40:19
Speaker 1: Joe Koy, who's my boyfriend now, who I've known for years,
40:22
Speaker 1: but I didn't meet him online. He's been an old friend,
40:25
Speaker 1: which is the best way to go. If you could
40:26
Speaker 1: ever hook up with one of your friends, that's the way,
40:29
Speaker 1: because this has been the most healthy relationship I've been
40:31
Speaker 1: in and just the sweetest straight hetero sexual MEA. Yeah,
40:35
Speaker 1: but he's Filipino, so he's marginalized, and that's why, like
40:39
Speaker 1: those kinds of men I think are a little bit
40:41
Speaker 1: more apt to understand women and the kind of dynamics
40:45
Speaker 1: marginalized because he's Filipino. Well, he's a minority, so there's
40:48
Speaker 1: a whole different mentality than being with a straight white guy,
40:50
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. Straight white guys are a little
40:53
Speaker 1: bit out of style. No offense to the one sitting
40:55
Speaker 1: right across from me, But you know, with the last
40:58
Speaker 1: five years everything we've learned, it just seems white men
41:00
Speaker 1: have a have a slow learning curve. They don't seem
41:03
Speaker 1: to understand or grasp the situation that they have been
41:06
Speaker 1: you're a generalist, Yeah, yeah, I am I mean it's pretty,
41:10
Speaker 1: but you know that's enough. It's the generalization is true.
41:14
Speaker 1: You know, there's enough men out there that have abused
41:16
Speaker 1: their positions of power, that have taken advantage of women,
41:20
Speaker 1: whether it's in the workplace, whether it's out of the workplace.
41:22
Speaker 1: You know, women are capable of doing the same thing too,
41:25
Speaker 1: but not to the degree in which men have. And
41:27
Speaker 1: so I you know, I resent the resistance of that conversation.
41:32
Speaker 1: I resent when men go whoa, you know, and it's
41:35
Speaker 1: like there's no argument. Really, it's it's happens over and
41:38
Speaker 1: over again. You're in a position of power, so you
41:41
Speaker 1: are of a different experience, you know, but because you're
41:44
Speaker 1: a woman running your own empire. But you know, many
41:47
Speaker 1: women aren't running their own empires and have to put
41:49
Speaker 1: up with men and and you know, telling them what
41:51
Speaker 1: to do and what's best, da da da, and that
41:53
Speaker 1: it becomes old fast. So anyway, changing material all the
41:58
Speaker 1: time is kind of part and are so of being
42:00
Speaker 1: a comedian. You have an hour, you work on it
42:04
Speaker 1: for about a year. You do about a hundred shows. Tonight,
42:07
Speaker 1: I'm going to port Chester, New York. You were, yeah,
42:11
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I have a show there. Tonight and tomorrow night.
42:13
Speaker 1: I have two shows there. So what part of New
42:15
Speaker 1: York is that west Chester? It's oh, it is west Chester,
42:19
Speaker 1: port Chester. Somebody said I have to pronounce it point Chester. No.
42:24
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think I'm going to do that,
42:26
Speaker 1: but anyway, I guess that answer. Does that answer my
42:28
Speaker 1: stand up question? I think from your monsieur, well, yeah,
42:33
Speaker 1: tell him I'd like a massage after my show to
42:35
Speaker 1: swing by. Okay, he's good. Okay, Well, thank you so
42:39
Speaker 1: much Martha for being here today and helping doll out advice.
42:42
Speaker 1: Thank you. And I'm just in awe about the questions
42:45
Speaker 1: that you get. Yeah, I know, I know. Really people
42:49
Speaker 1: are needy. They are, well, yeah needy. Don't realize that
42:53
Speaker 1: when you're doing the kinds of questions and you ask Martha,
42:56
Speaker 1: don't get questions like that and so long. Yes, these
43:02
Speaker 1: are the cut down versions, Martha. Wow, these are the
43:06
Speaker 1: abridged versions. Yes, yeah, thank you Martha. Thanks Martha, thank you.
43:14
Speaker 1: So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email
43:17
Speaker 1: us at Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com