Latest / Libro Abierto Interviews ENGLISH / He pressured me to sleep with other men, then blackmailed me with videos. Mariam

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He pressured me to sleep with other men, then blackmailed me with videos. Mariam · Libro Abierto Interviews ENGLISH

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: His ideas initially involved bringing other people into our relationship.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: He wanted to share me with other people, as if
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: I weren't enough, you know? He even forced me to
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: sleep with other people, and his biggest fantasy was watching
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: me have sex with someone else. He would tell me,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: come on, come on, get closer to him. I don't
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: want to do this. It makes me feel dirty. I'm
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: not your. Why do I have to do this to
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: please someone else? He literally told me, My ultimate fantasy
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: is watching you fuck someone right in front of me. Yes,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I want you to fuck someone and then come back
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: smelling like sex. That's what turns me on the most.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: And he would choose the men. Of course, there were
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: messages saying, send me pictures, you're so hot, and I'm
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: going to come looking at those pictures. I'm sure he's
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: going to come so hard. My ex-boyfriend gave me a
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: video of us having sex. It was incredibly humiliating because
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I couldn't understand why there was a video. I never
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: knew I was being filmed. I was afraid he would
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: distribute my pictures, that he would distribute my videos. Then
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the threats began. If you don't sign, I'm going to
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: sue you. If you don't sign, I have material of you.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I believe that I and every woman who has experienced
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: something like this need to speak out. I don't think
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: men like this should be out there. I don't think
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: it's fair to use someone as an object. But I
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: didn't leave. I couldn't leave.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Could you please tell me your name, your age, and
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: what you do for a living?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm Miriam. I'm 46 years old. I'm a Montessori
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: guide and a chef, but right now I'm dedicated to
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: raising my children.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: How many children do you have?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I have three children. Two are adults and one is
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: a minor.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Very good. Do they live with you?
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Yes. One lives away from home while attending college. My
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: middle child spends one week with me and one week
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: with his father, and I share custody of my youngest.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Very good. Miriam, you've come here to share your testimony,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: and it's heartbreaking, to say the least. In fact, even
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: calling it heartbreaking feels like an understatement. We're going to
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: talk about how you're not just a victim, but a
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: survivor of unimaginable violence at the hands of your ex-husband.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Could you tell us, if you're comfortable— How you met
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: him and how your relationship began.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, of course. Ironically, I met him at my own house,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: at a party my brother-in-law was hosting. He came with
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: his partner, and I had my own job and my
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: own life. As time went by, he started reaching out
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: to me and messaging me on Instagram. I even asked
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: my sister why he was contacting me because I thought
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: he was still with his partner. And she said, no,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: they're not together anymore. I imagine that's why he's reaching
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: out to you. He would sort of invite me out,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: but never properly. He would say things like, whenever you
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: feel like it, if you need anything, I'll buy you
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: a glass of wine. It was as though he couldn't
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: even ask me out properly. And one day, I was
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: honestly pretty fed up with work. I asked my mom
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: if she could watch my children and I told him, okay,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I'll take you up on that drink. He invited me
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: to his house and we had a drink. Then we
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: went to a bar and afterward we went dancing. Honestly,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: we had a wonderful time. It was fun, and he
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: was very sweet to me. The next day, he had
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: a business trip, and he sent me, you know, a
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: letter and some waffles. Nobody could believe it. They were like, what?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo sent you that? And I said, yes. They were
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: surprised because apparently that wasn't how he usually behaved. And
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I said, no, seriously, he sent waffles and a letter
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: to my house. Then he left Mexico for work. When
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: he came back, things started getting serious very quickly. He
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: told me, I'm falling in love with you. And honestly,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I fell for him very quickly too. He met my
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: older children, my middle son and my eldest. Not long afterward,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I talked to my children about the fact that this
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: was becoming a more serious relationship. We even started spending
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: weekends together in Valle de Bravo, where I shared a
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: house with some friends. He would tell me, you know
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: what makes me fall in love with you? It's exactly this.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I want what you have. You're a great mother. You're
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: an extraordinary mother, and I want to have what you have.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: And I would tell him, yes, but the thing is,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I'm older than you. Also, when I was pregnant with
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: my middle child, I had complications during both the pregnancy
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: and delivery. He kept talking about wanting a child. I
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: want to have my own child. I want a child.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I want a child. And I would say, but I'm
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: older than you. And the truth is, I couldn't risk
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: leaving my older children without a mother.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: How much younger than you is Rodrigo?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Six and a half years.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: What?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: About six and a half years.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: What made another pregnancy so dangerous for you?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Well, with my middle child, I had bleeding during the pregnancy.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: He was born prematurely at 35 weeks. And during delivery,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: they were going to remove my uterus. There were complications,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: and thank God they didn't have to remove it. But
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I knew another pregnancy would put me at risk. Besides,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: ever since I was young, I've always had hormonal problems.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Hormones have never agreed with me. So when he started
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: insisting on having a child, we went to see a gynecologist.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: That doctor actually made me feel terrible about my age.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: He practically pulled out a book and statistics to show
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: me how badly things could go. Some of what he
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: said was true and some wasn't. I couldn't understand why
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: there was such urgency or why Rodrigo was insisting so much.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Then a friend recommended a female gynecologist who also happened
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: to work at a fertility clinic. But Rodrigo started insisting
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: on IVF. IVF, IVF. And the doctor told him, Wait
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: a minute. No. I can't give Miriam hormones because her
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: body can't tolerate them. IVF would be extremely aggressive for her.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: She suggested that we try naturally first. She said, why
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: don't you try for three months? If it doesn't work,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: we can try artificial insemination. If the first doesn't work,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: we can try a second, then a third. IVF would
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: be the last option, and it's not really an appropriate
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: scenario for her. So I eventually gave in and agreed
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: to artificial insemination. And I never imagined what was coming.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Miriam, even though you were being told that another pregnancy
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: could be dangerous, I have two questions. Why was this
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: man so insistent? What kinds of things was he telling you?
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: And why was he specifically pushing for IVF?
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: At first, I didn't know Rodrigo couldn't have children. And
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: that's what makes me so sad. The lie. Because this
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: doctor was very clear. She said, I don't just examine
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: the woman. Here, I examine both the man and the woman. Well,
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: the truth is, I was a very fertile woman. I
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: say was because later I'll tell you what happened and
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: why they eventually had to remove my uterus. But I
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: know exactly when I conceived my eldest son, and I
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: know exactly when I conceived my middle son. So I
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: had absolutely no doubts about my own fertility. The doctor
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: even told me, you have plenty of eggs. I'm not
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: saying they're the same quality as those of a 25-year-old woman.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: but you have a lot of them. Then they started
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: examining him too. And, honestly, some of those tests were invasive.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: They involved machines and procedures. But he never had a
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: conversation with me about it. He never came to me
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: and said, listen, I can't have children. And he already knew.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: He already knew. That's what hurts me. I was used.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I was an incubator for his child. And it hurts
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: to say that because my youngest son means exactly as
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: much to me as my middle son and my eldest.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: But yes, I was treated like an incubator. So they
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: performed the insemination and I got pregnant on the very
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: first attempt. How strange that it worked the first time, right?
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: The problem wasn't me. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: not being able to have children. I'm not judging anyone
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: who struggles with infertility. But I think it would have
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: been beautiful if someone had come to me and said, Listen,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I love you. I want to start a family with you,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: but the truth is I can't have children. And that
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: wasn't what happened. I found out through a medical test.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And nobody ever asked me how I felt about it.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And in the end, it wasn't just the insemination. They
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: bombarded me with hormones. It was horrible. They injected my
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: stomach every single day. I started bleeding. It was right
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: when COVID was beginning. It was awful because sometimes even
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: his aunt would come over to help give me the injections.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Then they started giving me a very strong medication called
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: nifedipine to stop the contractions. Because I had contractions starting
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: in my fourth MO. Nth. I didn't know at the time,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: but later some doctors told me that medication could cause
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: severe anxiety. I was even hospitalized. It was horrible because
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I could only move from my bed to the bathroom.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: My house had a lot of stairs, and I couldn't
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: go up and down them. He was incredibly sweet to
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: me at the time. But what mattered most to him
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: was how much I was bleeding, almost as if I
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: were a machine for producing children. Still, he was extremely
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: sweet to me. He was wonderful with my children. Obviously,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I had to tell my children I was pregnant. Because
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: how could they understand why their mother, who was always
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: so hyperactive and hardworking, was suddenly confined to bed? So
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I told my middle son and my eldest. By that point,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: we were already living with him. He had invited us
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: to move into his apartment. COVID was starting to get
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: really bad. He even started talking about buying a house.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: He went to see a house and told me, this
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: is your home. I love you and I promise I'll
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: always protect you. Because I had been very clear with
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: him from the beginning. Back when we were dating, although
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: that stage lasted very little time before I got pregnant,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I told him, listen, I've already been through a very
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: difficult divorce. I've been a single mother all these years.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I've raised my children on my own, and I don't
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: want to go through another situation where I have to
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: chase someone for child support or ask for money. I
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: really don't. And he told me, no, I love you.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I'm all in. I know your older children aren't mine.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not their father, but I want us to be
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: one big family. I was even reading something he wrote recently.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: He said something like, I'm throwing myself into this headfirst
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: because I love you so much. And at the time,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I felt flattered. Because I had made it very clear
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: that I never wanted to feel unprotected again or unsupported
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: or anxious because I didn't have money. I'd already lived
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: through that. I wasn't going to put myself through it again.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: and he kept promising me over and over that it
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: would never happen. But the bleeding kept getting worse. I
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: was hospitalized. I would leave the hospital, and it was
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: especially difficult because when you're admitted for pregnancy complications, they
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: put you on the labor and delivery floor. So there
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: are babies everywhere while you're facing the possibility of losing
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: your own baby. And that's incredibly hard. I'd already been
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: on that floor before. Then one day I had what
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: I think was the worst bleeding episode. I was in
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: bed and there was so much blood. I honestly thought
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I'd lost my little boy. And Rodrigo pulled a ring
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: out of his backpack. He said, I don't know what's
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: going to happen, but I just want you to know
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: that I want to be with you. I felt relieved
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: hearing that. Because I had been afraid that if I
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: lost the baby, he wouldn't stay with me. As though
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: the pregnancy determined whether our relationship would continue. But the
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: truth is my baby is a warrior. We made it
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: to around the 36th week. My stomach was completely damaged
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: from all the injections. When my baby was born, he
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: ended up intubated. One of his lungs collapsed. According to
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: the doctor, it happened because he cried so hard. But actually,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: he wasn't crying. He wasn't making any sound. They didn't
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: even place him on my chest. There was no skin-to-skin
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: contact or anything. They took him away as an emergency.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: His lung collapsed. and he ended up in intensive care.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: When I got back to my room, Rodrigo told me,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: everything is fine. But my baby was intubated. I was
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: beside myself. I was screaming. Even in recovery, when they
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: give you medication to help you sleep, I couldn't fall asleep.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I could hear the woman who had delivered next to
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: me talking and showing off her baby to her mother.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: And I cried and cried. I kept saying, where is
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: my son? Where is my son? I want to see
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: my son. My baby was in an incubator and spent
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: seven days in intensive care. We were allowed to visit
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: twice a day. And it's incredibly hard to leave the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: hospital without your baby. COVID was terrible at the time,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: so we had to be extremely careful. The hospital's protective
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: measures were incredibly strict. At first, we couldn't even touch
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: our baby. Later, once he was no longer intubated, we
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: were allowed to touch him. And toward the end, before
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: he was discharged, they finally let me hold him. But
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: he didn't even have the strength to eat. They had
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: to feed him through a tube. It was an incredibly
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: difficult experience. And afterward, there was so much emotional work
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: to do. Because Rodrigo would talk about it as though
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: it were all in the past. He would say, but
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: that's over now. And I would say, what do you mean?
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I bled for eight or nine months. I was carrying
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: that baby inside me. You can't just say it's over. Yes,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: it's over, but you have to process it. You have
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: to accept what happened and work through it. And I
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: did work through it extensively in therapy because it was
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: an extremely traumatic experience. On top of everything, I ended
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: up needing a C-section. My doctor was wonderful. She allowed
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: me to go through 10 hours of labor until she
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: finally told me, no, Miriam, this is an emergency now.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: She started shouting instructions. They told me they needed to operate.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: And I said, do whatever you have to do, as
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: long as my baby survives.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: That's already a difficult age for pregnancy, especially with the
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: medical history you had.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: It was definitely a high-risk pregnancy.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: And he put you at an extremely high risk. Thank
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: goodness your baby was born and that he's such a fighter.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: How is his health today? How long did it take
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: before he could leave the hospital?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: He spent seven days in the hospital. Then he was
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: still very delicate when we brought him home. He had
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: to take a caffeine-based medication for months. And obviously, nobody
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: could come into the house without having a PCR test,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: which was what we used back then, and wearing a
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: face mask. I think my mother, my sister, and his
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: mother were among the very few people who actually met him.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: We would show him to other people through the window.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: It was very hard. Rodrigo was very sweet in the
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: sense that, because he could work from home, he helped
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: quite a bit with the baby. Living together was intense.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: One of my children was attending school remotely in one
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: part of the house. Another was doing the same somewhere else.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo worked in my bedroom with the baby nearby. I
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: reached such a level of exhaustion and sadness that I
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: just couldn't take it anymore. My mother even stayed overnight
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: for two consecutive nights so I could get some sleep.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: And that was when I started noticing things. I started
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: seeing the family's reactions. It was exactly what I mentioned
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: earlier about being treated like an incubator. As though they
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: were saying, Okay, you've served your purpose. You've done what
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: we needed you for. Now you're no longer important. The
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: only important person was the baby. I became secondary. His
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: family treated me the same way. It no longer mattered
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: that my health wasn't good. I was exhausted. And the
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: baby started growing up beautifully because we were all together
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: during COVID.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: What were his older brothers like with him?
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: They were wonderful. They love him so much. They used
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: to bathe him in a little tub and carry him around.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: And to this day, they absolutely adore him.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: If you're comfortable, tell us how things went from I
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: love you and I'll always protect you to having a baby,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: being pushed into the background, and watching him turn into
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: an extremely violent person. How did the violence escalate?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I remember the first incident that felt violent to me.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: It happened exactly when our baby turned one. He was
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: having terrible stomach problems. We had just been to the
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: pediatrician and the doctor ordered a stool panel. We had
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: to take his diaper to the laboratory so they could
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: collect a sample from it. And it was a fairly
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: expensive test. Rodrigo became absolutely furious because it was the
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: baby's birthday party. And for him … appearances were extremely important.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: He always wanted to look good in front of everyone.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: We were in the car, and he was screaming at
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: me horribly. We had already called the woman who helped
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: us at home to arrange for the diaper to be
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: taken to the laboratory, and he was furious about why
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: she would have to take the diaper in an Uber.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I was crying as we drove along Periferico. I kept saying, please,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: stop yelling at me. The guests are already at the house.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: And then we arrived. and he became a completely different person.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: At the party, everything was fine, as though nothing had happened.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Of course, I didn't dare tell anyone. So there we were,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: posing for the happy family picture. The baby was still
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: very little. He was turning one, so he was just
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: starting to take his first steps. He and my middle
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: son were the two who started walking later. My eldest
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: walked at 10 months, while the other two started at
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: around a year and four months. There were little friends there,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: children of my friends. It was a simple party in
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: the courtyard of a private residential complex with balls and decorations.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: And everything was about pretending. His family would always emphasize
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: that the baby wanted his father instead of me. They
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: would say things like, he doesn't want you. He wants
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: his daddy. He's calling for his daddy. There was always
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: this division between loving his father and loving his mother.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I remember his grandmother perfectly at that party. She said, no, no, no.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: He's not asking for you. He's asking for his father.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: And my older children would ask him, why don't you
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: ever give her the place she deserves with our little brother?
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Why don't you acknowledge her as his mother? So that
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: was the first incident of aggression. Another time, something completely
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: ridiculous happened. We were going out to eat, and we
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: crossed a roundabout incorrectly. Some aggressive man on the street
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: started shouting at us about the way we'd crossed. And
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo got into an argument with him. I told him,
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: calm down. Ignore him. He's a stranger. He might be
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: high or out of his mind. But then I saw
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo's eyes. His expression. The way he reacted. The man
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: was coming toward us and Rodrigo was kicking at him.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: I got scared and called Blanquita, the woman who helped
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: us at home. I told her, please start opening the gate.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: The man kept following us and Rodrigo kept trying to
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: confront him. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with defending yourself.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Quite the opposite. But I'd never seen that look in
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: his eyes before. To me, it was aggression.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: It was like watching him suddenly turn into a monster.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Exactly. I remember thinking, what is happening? I'd never seen
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: those eyes, those kicks, those gestures. We closed the gate.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: And the aggression kept escalating. When he got angry, he
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: would punch the walls. Once, he broke a door. And
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: we had to make up a story for my middle
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: son and my eldest, telling them that the baby had
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: accidentally gotten locked inside. I told Rodrigo, well, your anger
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: just cost us 20,000 pesos. Or 10,000. I don't remember exactly.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: We even told that lie to an architect friend. But
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: nobody was stupid. My middle son eventually told me, Mom,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: you don't know this, but I took my baby brother
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: to the park that day. I know he didn't get
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: locked inside. I know Rodrigo broke that door. So by then,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: there had been the birthday incident, the broken door, the
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: punching of walls, and other things. I was starting to
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: become afraid of certain behaviors and reactions. And sometimes his
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: reactions didn't even make sense in relation to what had happened.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: I understand. Things would happen, sometimes things that were almost insignificant,
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: and his reaction would be completely disproportionate.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And afterward, he would always apologize. But he would
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: also make me believe I was crazy. He would tell
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: me I'd said things I hadn't said. Then he'd say,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: forgive me. I swear it wasn't like that. He would
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: turn everything around. and I started doubting myself. I was
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: afraid to tell people what was happening. I grew up
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: in Valle de Bravo, and he used to share that
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: house with us. After we'd bought the house in Condesa,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: we decided to buy another house in Valle. And we
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: were all very happy. Because at first, he was so
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: sweet to my children. He would say, this sweet is
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: for them. This one is for the baby. He was
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: wonderful to everyone. But in Valle, there were quite a
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: few incidents of physical aggression. When he got angry, he
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: would get right in my face. His beard would practically
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: touch mine. He would move toward me like this, and
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: I would keep stepping backward. I remember that the house
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: had double-glazed windows. Blanquita would tell me, ma'am, I can
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: only see what's happening because I can't hear anything. And
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: I would keep backing away, telling him, you're scaring me.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Don't come closer. Don't come closer. Several times, I ran
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: away and locked myself in a room. but we kept
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: the keys on the outside of the doors so the
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: baby couldn't accidentally lock himself in. So I would have
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: to run, grab the key, and lock myself inside. On
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: one of those occasions, I even packed a suitcase. Actually,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: that happened twice. But one time, I packed my suitcase
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: and came back to Mexico City. We had a place
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: in Santa Fe by then, rather than the house in Condesa.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: And I told him, you scare me. I'm leaving. I'll
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: come back tomorrow. because I had a school in Valle
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: de Bravo, and I needed to work on Monday. Of course,
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Blanquita eventually found out what had happened. You know how
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: it is. Someone from the residential complex told her. And
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: she said, ma'am, are you okay? But I always protected him.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I always justified his behavior. And I was afraid to
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: say what was really happening. One day, my eldest son
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: told me, mom, do you really think we never noticed?
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: He said, once, from far away. while we were at
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: the tumbling area in the residential complex, we could see
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: him walking toward you like this and you backing away
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: like that. I also remember going to a children's birthday
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: party for one of his friend's kids. I was driving
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: along Constituentes, and you know how, when you're in the
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: car and your phone is connected to CarPlay, you can
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: hear everything through the speakers? He called me and said,' Honey,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I can't go to the party because some clients are
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: arriving from London,' and started giving me an explanation. And suddenly,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I heard the navigation system say, you have arrived at
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Sweets Patriotismo. I remember slamming on the brakes and looking
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: back at the baby in his car seat. I almost crashed.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I thought, no, this isn't happening. This cannot be happening.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: I asked him, where the hell are you? I told him,
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I'm leaving with the baby. Tell me the truth. And
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: he said, no, no, no. It's not what you think.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: And I said, what do you mean it's not what
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I think? I just heard that you're at Sweets Patriotismo.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: By the time I got home with the baby, he
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: was already there. And he started apologizing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I promise you nothing happened. I just needed to release
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: all this anxiety I was feeling. I swear to God
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I didn't go inside. And I told him, you know what?
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I'm leaving with the baby. He kept saying, please forgive me.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't do anything. I swear. A few days later,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: his best friend was getting married. And of course, I
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: told him, I'm not going to the wedding. That was
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: what hurt him the most. Because he felt very important
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: when he took me places. He liked showing me off.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: So he would say, how am I supposed to go
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: to my best friend's wedding alone? What are people going
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: to say? And I kept saying, I'm not going. I'm
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: not going. I'm not going. But somehow, I always ended
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: up giving in. I would end up going or doing
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: whatever he wanted.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: So he manipulated you?
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, a lot. And I didn't understand it that way
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: at the time. Today, I see it differently. But back then,
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: I even justified his behavior. He made me doubt myself.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I ended up going to the wedding. And at the wedding,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: he started talking about all these really crazy things. Sexual ideas.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: He would mention different people and these apps.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: But what exactly were his ideas?
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: At first, his ideas involved bringing other people into our relationship.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: And I was never okay with that. I even invited
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: him to my therapy sessions several times. And the therapist
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: would explain that, well, there are people who have that
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: kind of relationship, and I'm not criticizing them. If you
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: want an open relationship, that's fine.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: Right. The point is that you didn't agree to it.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: No, I didn't. And the psychologist would tell him, It's
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: a very fine line. Because one thing is going to
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: a party, which actually happened. He forced me to go
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: to a swinger party in New York. And I only
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: fully realized what was happening when I was already sitting
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: on the plane. The thing about these parties is that
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: they don't tell you the location in advance. They send
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: you the venue information when you're already there, practically while
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: you're having dinner. You suddenly get an email. And I said,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: but you're taking me to a swinger party. And he said, no, no.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: It's just a very open-minded party where you can do
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: whatever you want. But when I saw the masks, I
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: wasn't stupid.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: So it started with him suggesting that he'd like to
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: bring other people into your relationship. You told him no,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: you went to therapy together, and then how did you
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: end up on a plane with him telling you that
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: you were going to this place?
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Well, even before that trip, we had several arguments. Because
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I had some idea of what he was planning, but
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't really understand it. I couldn't believe he was
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: capable of doing something like that. So I kept telling him,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not going. I'm not going. I'm not going. And
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I stood my ground. I kept saying, I'm not going.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: But what was he telling you about the trip?
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: He would say, no, we're going. It's an incredibly elegant party.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: You need to buy a very elegant, long dress. It's
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: a black tie event. And I would say, okay, but
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: it's a swinger party, isn't it? And he would say, no,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: it's a party where people are very open-minded and you
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: get to meet people. That's how he presented it to me.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: I remember perfectly sitting in my airplane seat, turning toward
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: him and asking, are you taking me to a swinger party?
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Because once there were masks involved, it was obvious. I
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: was furious. I wanted to get off the plane. We argued.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: We arrived in New York. We went out for a
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: very elegant dinner. And suddenly, an email arrived telling us
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: where the party was being held. And yes, it was
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: that kind of party.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: What did you feel?
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: It was horrible. You feel dirty. Everything was so secretive.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: They take everything away from you. They take your purse,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: your lipstick, everything. You can't even go inside with your phone.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: You're not allowed to use names. You go in and
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: there are rules saying that only the woman can give permission.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I remember one particular moment at that party when I
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: grabbed Rodrigo's arm because I was asking him for help.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: What were you feeling, Miriam?
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Terrible. I felt unprotected. I felt like I wasn't worth anything.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: If he wanted to share me with other people, then
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I wasn't enough, was I? Even when we had sex,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: he would always say things like, tell me about so-and-so.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: And I would think, but why? Am I unattractive? Am
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: I fat? Am I ugly? Am I not enough for him?
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: What kinds of things did he ask you to tell him?
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: He also forced me to sleep with other people. And
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: his biggest fantasy was watching me have sex with another man.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: Of this entire series of abuses we're going to hear about,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: the very first incident was what happened in New York.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: New York was the turning point. He also took me
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: to Europe. And I didn't know it at the time,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: but the most important venue associated with that app was
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: in London.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: And what happened at that party in New York? You
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: went inside, you felt unprotected, and you were grabbing his
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: arm as though you were asking for help.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, I was asking him for help. Later, he claimed
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: he had been too drunk. A man approached me, and
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I dug my fingers into Rodrigo's arm because I needed help.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: But Rodrigo was with that man's partner. I was constantly
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: living in a state of alert. He was always pushing me.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Come on. Come on. Even though the therapist had told him,
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: it's a very fine line because she could leave you.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: She really could leave you. Rodrigo would puff himself up
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: and say, no, she'll never leave me. Because, forgive me
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: for saying this, But the only thing he has, or had,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: was money. He lied about not being able to have children.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: He used me as an incubator. He didn't feel important
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: unless I accompanied him somewhere. It was always, come on,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: come on. And I would say, no. But why am
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I not enough for you? Why do you need other people?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: And he would tell me, it's not that you're not enough.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: It's that our relationship is so strong and so solid
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: that we can be partners in this. And I would say, no,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: but why? Why am I not enough? I'm not enough.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: Am I not worth anything to you? Don't you like me?
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Aren't you attracted to me? Don't I turn you on?
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Why do you need a third person or a party?
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Going back to that first party in New York, how
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: did you feel?
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Like a dirty whore. And the worst part was that
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I doubted myself. I blamed myself. I would tell him
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: it was wrong, but he kept insisting. And I would
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: end up doing it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I understand. It was tremendous manipulation.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: Almost like a game where you didn't really have a choice.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: It was as though your only option was to say yes.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Exactly. As though there were no other option. He would say,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: come on, because this is going to help our relationship.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: He would confuse me. How is it going to help?
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: Why would it help? Before all this, we had a
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: very good sexual relationship. He was wonderful with my children.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Everything was beautiful. I even asked him, when did all
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: this start? Were you like this with your ex-wife? And
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: he told me no. During the pandemic, I started reading
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: about these apps. He even signed up for one.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: He signed up without your consent?
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Yes. And it costs a lot of money. That party
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: also cost a fortune.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: So you came back from New York?
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: Yes. And I told him no. I told him I
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: didn't want to do anything like that anymore. I took
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: him back to therapy. And of course, the therapist said, okay,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: it's fine to have fun once in a while, but
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: what happened wasn't okay. It wasn't okay, especially because alcohol
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: was involved. But most importantly, there was no agreement between us.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I didn't consent. Then he started saying things like, you're
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: so tired. Look, I booked this hotel to take you
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: there for your birthday. And I looked into it. I thought,
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: what hotel is this? Is it in Cancun or Playa
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: del Carmen? And then I realized it was a swinger hotel.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I told him, I'm not going to a swinger hotel.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: He said, but look, if you don't want to do anything,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: you don't have to. You can sleep in, relax. You're
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: exhausted because you work so much. But that hotel was
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: something I never agreed to. He kept changing the reservation dates.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: He would lose the money. He complained that it was
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: incredibly expensive. And I told him I don't care. I'm
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: not going. I'm not going. By then, things between us
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: were very on and off in Valle de Bravo. We
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: would come and go. My youngest, who wasn't such a
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: baby anymore, was attending a little school a few days
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: a week. They ended up offering me a job there.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: And I told them, yes, but I already have a
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: trip to Europe planned. Because Rodrigo had invited me to Europe.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: What I didn't know was that part of that invitation
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: involved attending another one of those parties in London. because
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: supposedly the most beautiful, elegant, and impressive venue was in London.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: So the trip was to London and Paris. And Rodrigo
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: had everything planned. He already knew which bars we were
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: going to visit. I don't know whether to call them
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: swinger bars. I think that's what they were. In London,
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: thank God, the party was cancelled. Before it was cancelled,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: they had organized a dinner at a bar so everyone
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: could get to know each other. I remember walking in
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: and thinking, what? These are the people I'm supposed to
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: go to the party with? I felt incredibly used. I
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: left the bar angry. And thank God, I don't know
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: what happened, but the venue canceled. The party was canceled.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: And I went from feeling afraid to feeling relieved. I thought,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: thank God it was canceled. But I still hadn't understood
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: that he'd taken me to Europe because of those parties.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I thought it was a trip for the two of us.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Then we went to Paris. And you know how people
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: are very open there. You're sitting in a restaurant with
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: the tables so close together that you're practically touching the
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: people next to you. We started talking to some people
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: at the next table. We ended up going to a
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: bar with them. Then another bar. And another. Rodrigo kept
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: telling me, come on, come on. Get closer to him.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Get closer. And this guy, well, he was a young man.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: He was very handsome, actually. But he kept asking me,
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: are you sure your husband is okay with this? And
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo would say, yes, he's fine with it. It was
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: so strange, because I felt like I had to please someone.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: And if I didn't, Rodrigo would get angry. We ended
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: up at this man's apartment. Rodrigo forced me to stay.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: People started leaving. At one point, one of them said
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: to me, did you know your husband is in the
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: bedroom with this man, shaking hands? And I felt as
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: though they were negotiating over me. I remember perfectly when
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo came out with the Frenchman and said, Yes, she
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: can stay. As though I were his property. As though
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: he could decide that I was allowed to stay. And
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: I said no. What? He told me yes, stay. Stay.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: He was making the decision for you. Period.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Exactly. Stay. He ordered an Uber and left. I remember
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: looking out the window, thinking, why are you leaving me here?
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: And the most humiliating part was that the Frenchman told me,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I could never share you with anyone. You're so beautiful.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: He would touch me and look at me, and then
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: he'd say, I'm sorry. I can't. He actually respected me.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: And it was horrible because I felt even dirtier. As
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: though someone had given me permission to do something. But
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: then I felt rejected too. I thought, you don't want
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: me either. So I finally said, I'm getting out of here.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: I ordered my own Uber and left. The Frenchman started
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: begging me to come back. And Rodrigo was waiting at
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: the hotel, incredibly excited. Because his ultimate fantasy was for
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: me to come back smelling like sex. I arrived absolutely furious.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: And I told him I'm not your. I don't want
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: to do this. It makes me feel dirty. Thank God
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: nothing happened. I was extremely angry. The next day, we
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: took the train back to London to catch our flight
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: home to Mexico. And by then, I was a wreck.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: My self-esteem was on the floor. It wasn't even just
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: that I felt ugly. I didn't love myself anymore. I
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: kept thinking, why do I have to do this to
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: please someone? Why am I not enough? And I'm forgetting
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: a very important detail. On the way back, we didn't
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: fly directly to Mexico. We stopped in New York. And
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: the Frenchman wrote to me. He said, I cannot understand
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: how a man could share you. It's beyond anything I
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: can comprehend. I can't understand how he forces you to
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: do those things. I remember we went out in New York.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: And once again, it was, let's go dancing. Put this on.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Wear something that makes you look sexier. As though I
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: were nothing but a sexual object. Then we finally returned
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: to Mexico. And I talked about everything in therapy. My
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: therapist even asked me, do you think maybe he's giving
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: you all this permission so he can behave badly himself?
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Or could he be gay and actually be inters? Tedden
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: watching the man. And I said no. I have absolutely
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: nothing against gay people. Two of my children are gay.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: But I didn't know whether that was what was driving
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: all of this. Where it was coming from. What was
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: behind it. For example, he had issues with my children's
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: sexual orientation. Even though his own sister is gay. But
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: he wanted to watch me. He literally told me, my
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: ultimate fantasy is for you to fuck someone right in
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: front of me.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: Okay. So your two older children are gay.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: And he has homophobic attitudes.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: And he doesn't accept your children's homosexuality.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Exactly. In fact, even in our divorce agreement, he said
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: he was willing to pay 70,000 pesos for moving expenses
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: as long as our baby, who isn't a baby anymore
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: and is now five years old, had his own bedroom.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: So a little over a month ago, on September 14th, yes,
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: September 14th, I moved into an apartment. Because he was
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: claiming I was violating the agreement. He said my youngest
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: son couldn't sleep in the same room as my middle
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: son because my middle son is gay.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: You think that's the reason?
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: I do. Okay. I asked him directly one day. and
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: he said it had nothing to do with that. And
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: I told him, what you're saying hurts me deeply because
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I have pictures proving that my older children used to
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: bathe Lucio. They love him. They would bathe him while
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: wearing swimsuits. They would be incapable of doing anything inappropriate.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: It's absurd to even think something like that simply because
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: they're gay.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: It's ignorance. Complete ignorance. And he has a gay sister.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: And how does he treat his gay sister?
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: He has a very hard time with it. But I
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: think there must be something about homosexuality that bothers him
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: for some reason. I don't know. I can't say what
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: it is because I'm nobody to make that judgment. But
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: the aggression continued.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: What kind of aggression? Physical aggression.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Yes. There was one time when I'd had surgery on
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: my mouth. I felt terrible. And I couldn't go to
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: a dinner organized by my youngest son's kindergarten class. It
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: wasn't that I didn't want to go. I physically couldn't.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I'd made a cake. I bake cakes too. It was
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: a delicious olive oil cake. I decorated it beautifully. I
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: bought a bottle of wine. And I told him I
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: feel awful. Every time I bend down, my mouth throbs.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Please go without me. And he said, how can I
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: possibly go somewhere alone? I told him, I just had
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: surgery on my mouth. It wasn't a simple root canal.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I'd had an implant. They'd operated on all my gums.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: It was surgery.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. But he kept saying, this is unbelievable. You
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: never do anything with me. It was always about making
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: me the villain. And I thought, well, I'll just cancel everything.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: I'd already gone out to the car and put the
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: cake and the wine inside. I remember that night, before
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: going to bed, our little boy was standing on the stairs.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: And he said to Rodrigo, Daddy, why do you talk
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: to my mommy so meanly? Our son had just attended
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: a course about children's safety and protection. It's a very
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: good course because they teach children how to speak up
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: about different kinds of situations, not just one kind of abuse.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: They teach them what to do if they're in a
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: park and someone approaches them, or if someone offers them
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: candy in exchange for something. They teach them to shout
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: and ask for help. I don't know whether it was
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: because the course was still fresh in his mind or
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: because something about what happened really affected him, but he
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: heard Rodrigo shouting in the kitchen. And as he was
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: going up the stairs, he asked, Daddy, why do you
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: talk to my mommy like that? I'll never forget it.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Then I put my youngest son to bed. I always
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: read him a bedtime story. That was our special moment together.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Just as Rodrigo had his time with him in the mornings,
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: bedtime was my time. After reading his story, I went
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: back downstairs to the kitchen. And Rodrigo started making a scene.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: A serious one. He was shouting and hitting the walls.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: And I kept telling him, calm down. It's just a
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: dinner for a kindergarten class. You can go perfectly well
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: without me. Miriam doesn't feel well. that's all. By then,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: I was extremely upset. I told him, why can't you
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: just say, hey, you're not feeling well. Let's watch a
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: series together. I'll take care of you. You just had surgery,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: so I'll cancel. To me, that would have been normal.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: I went out to the car to get the cake
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: and brought it back inside. And, honestly, I was furious.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Because I wasn't just afraid anymore. I was Iksha. Usted
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: by the fact that I'd made the cake, done everything
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: and nothing was ever enough. I remember throwing the cake.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: And he became furious. He came into the kitchen. And
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: that time, it was horrible. There was a stove there.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: And all I remember is backing away and saying no.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Don't hit me. Don't hit me. Then he grabbed me
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: by the neck. He started shaking me. And he kept saying,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: calm down. Calm down. I couldn't understand it. Because the
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: more he did that, the more terrified I became. I
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: still get goosebumps thinking about it. Blanquita heard the glass
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: breaking when I threw the cake. She heard him shouting.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: There was a spiral staircase. Even the neighbor was looking
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: out to see what was happening. Blanquita rushed downstairs. She
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: grabbed Rodrigo and pushed him away. She said, leave her alone, sir.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Leave her alone. Can't you see what you're doing to her?
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: And I was standing there in the corner, between the
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: sink and the stove, completely terrified. And that was when
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: I said enough. This is where it ends. But the
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: terrible thing is that every time I said, this is
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: where it ends, something else would happen afterward.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: Miriam, you've told us about parties abroad. From what I understand,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: there were more incidents of that kind. But there's also
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: something involving videos. Were you being recorded, or was something
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: like that happening?
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: He would say he couldn't take it anymore, that he
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: needed something more in his life, that he couldn't possibly
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: be with a woman who wasn't sexual. So he needed
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: that kind of fun and that kind of sexuality. One day,
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: he even wrote to me proposing different plans, but he
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: wrote them as though I were an object. He made
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: a bullet point list, as though I were something he
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: could use however he wanted. He said, what I want
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: us to do is either sign up for one of
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: those apps, have you fuck Chuso, or have someone take
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: naked pictures of you. And I kept thinking, why? I
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: kept saying no. No. And it was always the same manipulation.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Even when he forced me to sleep with other people
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: in Mexico, the therapist tried to explain things to him.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: He would say, you can't just approach a woman and
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: expect her to have sex like that. And I would
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: ask Rodrigo, what exactly do you want? And he would say, yes,
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: I want you to fuck someone and then come back
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: smelling like sex. That's what turns me on the most.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: And I would say, but I can't do that. I mean,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: you're asking me to fuck some guy. How am I
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: supposed to do that?
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: No.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: The psychologist would tell him, no. You have to court
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: a woman. You have to take care of her, take
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: her out to eat. There has to be a whole process.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: But no. Rodrigo chose the men. He chose them. I
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: remember one time, at his best friend's baby shower, of
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: all places, he kept saying, come on, come on, come on.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: Message Chuso. Come on.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: Who is Chuso?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: He's an ex-boyfriend.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Okay. And Rodrigo wanted to watch you have sex with
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: your ex-boyfriend?
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: Something I never wanted to do. He kept saying, come on.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Call him.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Go see him. And I eventually ended up with him.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Of course, there were written messages. Send me pictures. You're
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: so hot. I'm going to come looking at those pictures.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: I'm sure he's going to come so hard. Very disturbing things.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: And obviously, my ex-boyfriend couldn't understand why my husband wanted
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: to share me with another man. Or why another man's
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: ejaculation turned him on. It's embarrassing to talk about. But yes,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: I went through it. And this didn't just happen with
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: one person. There was the Frenchman, my ex-boyfriend, and then
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: another man. Some of these encounters happened more than once.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: I remember one time, after being with this other man,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I told Rodrigo, listen, this person has already left. I
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: feel dirty. I feel terrible. I don't want to stay here.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: I can't handle this. And he told me, well, just
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: spend the night there. And I said, no, but how?
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: My car is parked somewhere in Condesa. I don't even
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: know where. And I ended up spending the night there.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: That made me feel even dirtier. It wasn't exactly a hotel.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: It was more like an Airbnb, one of those suites
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: or something similar. But I kept thinking, why am I
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: not with you? It was already humiliating enough to have
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: been forced into that situation. It was already humiliating enough
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: that this man had left. And then Rodrigo just told
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: me to stay there.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you something. During all those encounters, did
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: he ask you to record yourself?
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: No, no. But there was a video someone gave me,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: and for Rodrigo, it was the ultimate thing.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Explain something to me. Who gave you that video, and
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: what was in it?
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: My ex-boyfriend gave me a video of us having sex.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: And honestly, at first, it was extremely humiliating. Because I
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: couldn't understand why there was a video. I never knew
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I was being filmed.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: Who filmed you?
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: There were cameras in his house. And I received the video. Obviously,
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo saw it. And Rodrigo would tell me, I come
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: watching that video.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: Why did your ex-boyfriend send you that video? And why
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: did he record you in the first place? I understand
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: there were cameras in his house, right? Why didn't he
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: turn them off?
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: Why did he keep that video? Why did he send
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: it to you?
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: Well, because he liked it.
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you something, Miriam. Is there any suspicion
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: that Rodrigo might have spoken to these men and given
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: them instructions or something like that?
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know. But sometimes it seemed that way. I mean,
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: we didn't know the Frenchman beforehand. The other man knew
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: about Rodrigo. And something that makes me especially sad is
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: that one day Rodrigo actually took me to the same
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: restaurant where I'd eaten with the man I told you about,
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: the one whose place I ended up having to spend
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: the night at. Rodrigo took me there. He took me
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: to that restaurant. It's also sick, isn't it? Being involved
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: in something where you're forcing another person to do things.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: And this video involving Chuso, he sent it to you.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: Where is that video now? Who has it?
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know. When the problem started and Rodrigo kicked
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: us out of the house because he did kick us out,
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: I had just had surgery. He kicked me and my
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: children out. And I told him, show me that you've
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: deleted that video. Because he used to tell me that
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: he came watching it. He said, I've already deleted it.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: And I thought, how do I know? Obviously, when I
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: received the video, I felt horrible. I deleted my copy.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: But Rodrigo had it. How can I know whether he
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: really deleted it? How can I know whether he's shown
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: it to someone else?
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. Where does this man, Chuso, stand in your life today?
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: I'm asking because even sending you that video is something serious.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: I don't have any relationship with him anymore. In fact,
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: just a few days ago, I received a naked picture
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: of myself.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: Who sent it to you?
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: Chuso. And I told him, please delete that picture. I'm
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: no longer the person I was forced to become. It
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: makes me extremely uncomfortable.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: And has this man, Chuso, sent that picture or any
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: of that material to anyone else?
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: I hope not.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: This is extremely serious.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: Why were there cameras in his house?
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: I assume for security.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Did he tell you there were cameras?
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: No.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: So he was recording you without your consent? Yes. He
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: distributed that material. We don't know to whom, but at
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: the very least, he sent it to you.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: And what did he say when he sent you those pictures?
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: What did he tell you? What did he say about
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: the video?
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I don't remember exactly what he said about the video.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: It was a long time ago. But it was something like, oh,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: that was so hot or something along those lines. Honestly,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: I was very upset. I asked him, where did you
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: get this? And he said, well, there are cameras in
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: my house. And I thought, yes, but that doesn't make
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: it okay. For Rodrigo, though, that video was a gift.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: But when Chisa sent me the naked picture, I told him,
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: don't get the wrong idea. Don't get confused. I'm not
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: that person anymore. He said something about how much fun
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: I used to be. I don't remember exactly. But I
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: told him, delete it right now, because I'm not comfortable
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: with this.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: And you don't know where all that material is now,
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: do you? Rodrigo had that video. You begged him to
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: delete it. He told you, yes, yes, I've already deleted it.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: But you don't actually know for a fact whether he did. Today,
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: you're divorced from this man, Rodrigo. How did that divorce happen?
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Well, because of everything I've been telling you. I think
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: I should have left the day of that incident. And
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: I've done a lot of work on myself. Because it's
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: very easy for people to judge. The few people who
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: know what happens sometimes say things like, but you did it.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: You went along with it. You. And that's not how
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: it was.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: No, no, no. You weren't doing those things of your
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: own free will. Tell us in your own words why
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: you did them.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: Because you're forced to. And that's exactly what happened. That's
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: also how my divorce was handled.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: How did the divorce happen?
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: Well, threats started appearing. Things like, then there won't be
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: any money. Everything started being reduced little by little.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: Did he ask you for a divorce? Did you ask him,
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: or was it a mutual decision? No.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: We were supposed to go to Acapulco, but then a
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: hurricane came. And Rodrigo knew exactly how to manipulate the situation,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: even using my children. He said, I already called your
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: eldest son and asked him whether he wants to go
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: to Disney. Well, what child is going to say no
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: to Disney? Obviously, my son said yes. So Rodrigo told me,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: now you can't say no. Your son already said yes,
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: and it's going to be incredible for our little boy.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: The truth is that my youngest son has a sensory
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: processing and regulation condition. And I told Rodrigo that I
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: didn't think Disneyland was the best idea for him. But
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: he kept insisting. Come on, come on. Later, before we divorced,
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: he admitted that he'd planned that trip because he knew
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: it would be our last family vacation. But before that,
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: there had also been another violent incident. He called the police.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: And I remember perfectly that it happened before December. I
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: also remember seeing a message from that attorney on his phone.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: She wrote something like, haha, she's getting aggressive. Call the police.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: But he was the one punching the walls. He also
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: filmed our youngest son. He took out his phone, grabbed
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: our little boy, and asked him, isn't it true that
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: mommy says your grandmother doesn't love you? This attorney is
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: very well known. And he was filming our child. Our
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: youngest son was so little that, of course, he would
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: answer whatever came into his mind. But Rodrigo was very
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: clear in that video. That day, our youngest son had
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: come home extremely dysregulated. Blanquita had called Rodrigo to ask
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: for help. Our son had just come back from his
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: grandmother's house. And every time he came back from his
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: grandmother's house, he was extremely aggressive. They spoke very badly
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: about me there. Because of his condition, He would become dysregulated.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: The neighbor's nannies called Blanquita and asked her to come help.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: I took my youngest son and went for a walk
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: with him to see whether I could help him regulate himself.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: And Rodrigo knew he was doing something wrong. Because he
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: wrote to me and asked, Where did you take our son?
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: And I told him, I'm at the park with him.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: I'm just walking around Condesa. Then I went back home.
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: My middle son usually has lunch with his grandfather one
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: day a week. And... because something similar had already happened before,
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: like the incident I told you about involving the dinner,
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: my middle son arrived and didn't understand what was going on.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: I actually found out about the filming because of my
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: middle son. He said, hey, hey, Rodrigo, what are you doing?
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: Why are you filming? I turned around and saw Rodrigo
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: asking my youngest son, isn't it true that mommy says
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: your grandmother doesn't love you? Then my middle son picked
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: up his little brother and ran to Parque Espana with him.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: He was carrying him in his arms. We lived in
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: a private residential complex. I looked outside and saw Rodrigo running.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: And I was terrified he might be chasing my middle son.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: Because I thought, well, I don't think he'd hurt our child,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: but what about my son? So I ran outside. And
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: sure enough, I saw a police patrol car. I started recording,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: but I was very careful. I only filmed the patrol
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: car to document that the police were there. I didn't
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: film Rodrigo. I didn't film anyone. Then I ran as
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: fast as I could. I even remember running into someone
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: I knew. I asked her, have you seen my two sons?
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: I was referring to my middle son and my youngest.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: She said no. When I finally reached Parque España, my
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: middle son was sobbing. He was there with his little brother.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: And he told me, I can't do this anymore. Then
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: he said, I'm sorry, mom, but I'm leaving. It was
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: a Monday. I remember perfectly because he normally came to
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: stay with me from Sunday to Sunday. And I begged him, no,
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: please don't leave. We were all afraid of Rodrigo by then.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: I told my children, okay, let's calm down. There was
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: a 7-Eleven across the street. I suggested we buy some
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: candy or something to drink. I kept begging my son
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: not to leave. But he told me, mom, I'm sorry.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: I have to go. And he had every right. He
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: shouldn't have had to carry my problems. We were terrified
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: of going back to the house. And at that moment,
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: something came from the deepest part of me. From my blood,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: my heart, everything. Calling the police on the mother of
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: your own child seemed like the worst thing imaginable to me.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: I remember taking out my phone. I've always loved photographs.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: I opened Instagram and started deleting my favorite pictures. Because,
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: to me, that relationship no longer existed. How could he
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: do something like that in my home, with my children there?
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: Especially when he was the aggressor. And when he'd done
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: something wrong by filming our child. Our son's psychologist even
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: told him during therapy, what you did is a crime.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: You have to ask permission before filming someone. But that
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: wasn't even the saddest part. He wasn't filming something sexual
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: like the things we've discussed. He was interfering with our
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: youngest son's emotional well-being. With his heart. With his soul.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: Trying to get him to fall into some trap his
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: attorney had devised. That day, I remember saying enough. But
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't leave. I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave. My
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: middle son came back and said he was leaving. And
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: I was afraid his father might take him away from
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: me because he was still a minor. And then Christmas
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: was approaching. Christmas was coming, and I told him, don't
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: even come. My family always celebrates Christmas in Todos Santos.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: And I told him, don't come. He had already been
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: rude to me and to my sister-in-law. He had said
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: such horrible things to her that I'm embarrassed even to
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: repeat them. It was also typical for him to leave
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: me alone at restaurants. He would always get angry and
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: walk out. By then, all the waiters and Condessa knew me.
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: They would ask, shall I bring you the check, ma'am?
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: And I'd say yes. But sometimes he would come back.
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: One time, he came back while I was talking to
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: my brother and sister-in-law. He said some terrible things to
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: my sister-in-law. I don't even know whether I can repeat
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: them here.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: Go ahead. Say what he said.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: Go duck yourself, you biatch. And I just stood there thinking, what?
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Why did he say that to her?
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: Because they were talking to me. And I told him,
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: you don't mess with my family. I remember there was
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: a concert coming up. I love the war on drugs,
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: and so does my brother. I was going to the concert,
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: and I thought it was strange that my brother hadn't
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: mentioned it to me. As it turned out, we ran
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: into each other there. Well, I didn't actually run into them.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo ran into my brother and sister-in-law while I was
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: in the bathroom. He was absolutely mortified. My brother is
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: very polite, so he greeted him. But my sister-in-law, quite rightly, said,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to greet him. That's why I told
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: Rodrigo not to come for Christmas. I said, don't even come.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: You're not going to feel comfortable. We don't celebrate on
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: the 24th. We celebrate on the 22nd. And I told him,
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: you're not going to feel comfortable. You spoke horribly to
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: my sister-in-law, and her husband, who's my brother, heard everything.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: He was a very violent person. He would even refer
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: to his own mother as a stupid bitch. And I
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: would tell him not to talk about her that way.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: His mother never liked me, and she wasn't kind to me.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: But I would still tell him, don't talk about your
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: mother like that. And he would say, she's a stupid bitch.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: He even said it to her face. This wasn't just
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: sexual abuse. It was abuse of every kind. And violence
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: toward everyone around him. There was violence directed at my
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: children's sexual orientation. There was violence against his own son
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: when he filmed him. There was violence in forcing me
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: to sleep with other men. There was violence in abandoning
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: me at restaurants. There was violence in forcing me to
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: go on trips I didn't want to take.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: Money was another way he controlled you, correct? There was
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: extreme manipulation involving money, giving it to you or withholding
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 2: it to control you.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: How did that work?
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: It was basically, if you do this, there's money. If
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: you don't do it, there isn't.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: For example, when I traveled to take my eldest son
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: to study abroad, suddenly there was no money. Which is ironic.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Because if there was no money... Why did he take
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: all of us to Disney in first class when I
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: came back from Europe? It was more like there was
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: no money for me to enjoy things with my other children.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: There was money for him and me to enjoy things together.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: It was very sick. Because he wasn't just controlling me financially.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: He was also controlling where I could be and keeping
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: me close to him. All of this is also connected
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: to why I ended up signing the divorce agreement. Because
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: I was afraid he would distribute my photographs. I was
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: afraid he would distribute my videos.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: And then came the divorce, and there was a very
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: explicit threat to make you sign. Could you tell us
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: about that, please?
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: Yes. He told me, yes, you should have the right
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: to use the property. But do you know why I'm
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: not putting it in your name? Because what if I
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: die and you share it with your other children? And
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: I thought, what? First of all, my other children are protected.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: I have usufruct rights over an apartment that belongs to them.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: They're protected. And second, if you give someone something, it
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: belongs to them. They can do whatever they want with it.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't do that anyway, because my older children already
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: have their own share. I would never do something like that.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: But what hurt me was the comment itself. And after that,
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: the threats began. If you don't sign, I'm going to
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: sue you. If you don't sign, I have material of you.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: If you don't sign, I can tell people you fucked
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: so and so. If you don't sign, I have those videos.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: I still receive promotional emails from that app. I think
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: it's called Killing Kittens or something like that.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: And he threatened you with that material. But what exactly
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: was he threatening to do with it?
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: Distribute it. Even to my children. Just imagine how humiliating
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: that would be.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: When he was threatening you, did you know there was
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: a law called the Olympia Law, which specifically establishes that
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: what he was threatening to do was a crime and
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: a very serious one.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: The thing is, I didn't know any of that before.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: I signed that agreement because I was being threatened. I
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: signed it out of fear. I was constantly in survival mode.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: My amygdala was operating in survival mode. And that's why
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: I signed. Because I didn't know it was a crime.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: But now that I know it is a crime, that's
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: also why I've found the courage to talk about it.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: In fact, that's something I wanted to ask you. Why
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: are you here?
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: First of all, I'm here for myself. Because I never
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: thought I would be able to talk about this. I
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: was ashamed. And I still feel ashamed sharing this information.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: But I think it's important.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: Why are you ashamed when none of this is your fault?
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 2: Don't you think Rodrigo should be the one feeling ashamed?
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: Yes. Today, looking at things from a different perspective and
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: knowing that what happened was a crime, yes. But doing
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: the personal work to forgive myself has been incredibly difficult.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: How could I have fallen so low? How could I
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: have reached a point where I didn't love myself? Where
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: my self-esteem was so low that I allowed these things
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: to happen out of fear? That's why I'm ashamed, to
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: tell you the truth. But I'm here because I feel
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: that I, and every woman who has experienced something like this,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: need to speak out. I don't think men like this
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: should be out there. And I don't believe men who
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: behave this way are capable of raising children properly. I
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: don't think it's fair to use someone as an object.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: As though she were a trophy you take to parties
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: or weddings. or an incubator for your children. An object. Yes,
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: for whatever purpose. Because once my baby was born, I
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: felt that was an enormous act of violence against me.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: I don't agree with the idea that a man can
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: simply change things around and expect everything to work in
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: his favor. I don't want to take my son's father
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: away from him. We all have the right to have
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: our parents in our lives. But my son needs stability.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: He needs to be in his home, in his own bed,
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: with his mother. He's not a toy that you move
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: from one place to another, one day here and another
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: day there. And on top of everything, having to deal
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: with someone like that.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: Have you managed to understand that you're a victim of abuse?
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: I think I'm also a survivor. But I didn't understand
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: that I was a victim. You reach a point where
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: you love yourself so little that I think that's why
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: you allow those things to happen. Because otherwise, there can't
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: be another explanation. I genuinely questioned myself. I would think,
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: but why? Why do you need this? Am I not enough?
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: Because I was doing everything. I'm the kind of person
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: who can do a little bit of everything. I cook.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: I make things. I take care of everything. And still,
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: you want more. There was even a time in Las
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: Vegas when he brought a prostitute into our hotel room.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: What happened there?
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: He chose a prostitute from a menu and brought her
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: into the room. She came up to me and literally asked,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: May I touch you? And I said, No. I told Rodrigo,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: either you get her out of here right now or...
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: By then, he was involved in things that I considered
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: extremely perverse. Very disturbing things.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 1: I think it was some kind of sexual deviation. I
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: don't know. But I'm not a sexual object. And I
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: don't agree with men behaving this way. Of course, I'm
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: not saying men like this are suddenly going to stop existing.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: But I do believe all women should talk about these things.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: And I think it's a very difficult subject.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, it is. It really is. How is your communication
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: with Rodrigo today?
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: Well, first of all, he's doing something that isn't right
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: for our youngest son. He's blocked me. You can't have
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: shared custody with someone who has blocked you.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: What do you mean when you say he's blocked you?
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: He's blocked me on his phone. Text messages. WhatsApp. And obviously,
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: my youngest son isn't old enough or mature enough to
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: have his own phone and communicate with me independently. So
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: I think it's incredibly cowardly to say, I'm blocking you.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: Figure it out yourself. There was also another situation. Thank
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: God it's over now. But he misused a restraining order
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: and even made a mockery of it. He went so
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: far as to use it at our youngest son's school. Interviewer,
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 1: he obtained a restraining order against you? Why? because there
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: was an encounter with his current partner. She was provoking me,
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: telling me I was jealous. Very jealous. And I was
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: very clear with her. I said, Do you really think
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: I'm jealous of a man who abused me physically, emotionally,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: and sexually? A man who even did this to me.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: And I made a gesture to show what he'd done.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: I was referring to the incident I told you about earlier,
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: when he grabbed me and shook me. But I never
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: touched her. I never touched her. I was just demonstrating
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: what had happened. I should have made the gesture on
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: my own neck. The next day, there was a criminal
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 1: complaint and a restraining order. And apparently, that mattered more
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: to him than our youngest son. Because I missed several
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: important things in my son's life. And it breaks my heart.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: I miss school meetings. I missed family day. They would
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: divide things up between us because of the restraining order.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: But what makes this whole story even worse is that
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: the order was only valid for 60 days. And he
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: kept using it for 5 months. There was even an
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: incident at the club where he said, right in front
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: of our youngest son, that he was going to have
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: me arrested. That he was going to put me in jail.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: It happened during the summer. And my son covered his ears.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: He cried and screamed. He kept saying no, no. And then.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: And I kept telling him, no, sweetheart, they're not going
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: to put me in jail. They're not going to put
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: me in jail. And when the SECU, righty officers at
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: the club started defending me, Rodrigo took out his phone
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: and said, I have a restraining order. And I said, well,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 1: I have a family membership for a married couple with
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: a child. Because I thought the restraining order was still
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: in effect. And we only recently found out, legally, that
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: it wasn't. The order was only valid for 60 days.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: So how has your experience been trying to obtain justice?
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: Very bad. Very bad. Above all, I'm shocked by the
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: lack of justice for women. I think it's incredibly unfair
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: that I'm blocked and can't communicate with my little boy,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: who's only 5 years old.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: But how have the authorities themselves treated you?
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: There's no support from the institutions. No support. There simply
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: isn't any. Because, forgive me, but to begin with, if
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: anyone should have filed a complaint in that situation, it
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: should have been his partner, not him. That's the first
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: thing that's wrong. And, obviously, he lied about many things
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 1: in the complaint. For example, he claimed that one day
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: I told him to kill himself on the highway. That
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: wasn't true. He was so intense that he would call
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: Blanquita 20 times at 1.30 in the morning. He would
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: tell her, either you wake her up, or I'm going
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 1: to kill myself. And poor Blanquita would wake me up.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: And he would say, I'm going to kill myself on
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: the highway because of you. And I would say, but
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: how are you going to kill yourself on the highway
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: because of me? If you want to kill yourself, forgive me. Obviously,
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: by that point I would already be sobbing. It even
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: happened to my middle son once, during a trip to London.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: He told Rodrigo, will you just leave us alone? Don't
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: you have a meeting in a few hours? Leave us alone.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: Let us sleep. Because I'd stopped answering his calls. So
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: he started calling my middle son instead.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: What you're describing is harassment.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: Yes. My son would tell him, don't you have a
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: meeting in a few hours? Leave my mom alone. I
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: had stopped answering because Rodrigo knew he was doing something wrong.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: One time, he had come back from a business dinner.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: It was something ridiculous. He told me, I went to
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: Nobu with some clients in London. And he called me
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: while he was eating potato chips from the minibar. So
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: I said, why are you eating potato chips from the
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: minibar if you just came back from Nobu? And he
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: immediately reacted. What? You don't believe me? You think I'm
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: lying to you? You don't trust me? And I said,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: calm down. I was only saying that if you just
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: came back from Nobu, it's funny that you're eating potato chips.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: But he escalated the situation to the point where he
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: kept calling and calling. I remember one time there were
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: 71 text messages. Answer me. Answer me. Answer. So I
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: would hang up. But the same thing happened when I
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: lived in Valle de Bravo. He would call Blanquita. He
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: would wake her up. And once, he even fired her.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: He told her, if you don't put her on the phone,
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: you're fired. Then he apologized. And Blanquita stayed because she
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: loves me and my children. Besides, I worked incredibly hard.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: If I hadn't had Blanquita, I couldn't have done everything.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: There would have been no way for me to run
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: a school. How could I have managed? I worked so much.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: I would wake up at 5.15 in the morning. I'd
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: go to my ballet class. I'd get my son ready.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Then I'd go to school and welcome my students. Afterward,
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: I had to prepare all the lesson plans for each
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: classroom environment. Obviously, I also had to answer messages from
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: the mothers. I'd put my little boy to bed, and
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: once he was asleep, I'd start working again at night.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I even held informational meetings on weekends. And on
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: top of everything, Rodrigo would make me feel guilty about
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: that too. He would say, how can you be giving
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: informational meetings when it's supposed to be family time? And
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: I would tell him, you don't understand. It took me
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: a year to open that school. It was my dream.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: My achievement. My life. I didn't set out to open
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: an OXXO convenience store. I wanted to create a way
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: of life. A lifestyle. A beautiful, wonderful Montessori environment. And
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: we had an incredible community of 20 or 22 families.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: It was beautiful. And after he forced me to move
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: to Valle de Bravo and separated me from my older children,
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: he started saying, this isn't working. Come back, Mariam.
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: What has given you the strength to keep going?
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: My children. Honestly, they're the only thing. My children. I'm
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: so tired now. If it's not one thing, it's another. First,
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 1: it's if you don't move, then this or that. So
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: I move. But then he doesn't pay for the move.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: Then he stops paying child support. Last month, he didn't
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 1: pay the full amount of child support. On Thursday, he
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: forbade me from going to my little boy's soccer game.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: And on Saturday, we went to one of my little
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: boy's games at Estadio Azul. Afterward, I was planning to
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 1: go swimming at the club. I brought a ball with me.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: I thought, well, if I run into him, I'll give
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: it to him. And then Rodrigo canceled my club membership.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: So now I can't take Lucio to practice. Lucio can't
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: play soccer with his friends anymore except on the days
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: he's with his father. And he's not even really with
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: his father because Rodrigo's mother is the one who takes him.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: If you're going to ask for shared custody, then take
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: care of your child yourself. You take him to soccer.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: It's wonderful for a grandmother to be involved once or twice.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: But his grandmother didn't give birth to him. I did.
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: I gave birth to my son. So why is someone
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: who didn't give birth to him taking him to soccer?
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: And now he's taking that away from us too. Because
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: he's not just taking it away from me. He cancelled
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: my membership. That means my youngest son can't go to
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: the club with me anymore. Because if I'm not a member,
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do? Send my five-year-old son
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: inside by himself and say, see you later? So now
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: I can't watch my youngest son practice. I can't watch
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: him play his games. Nothing. He added his partner to
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: the club membership and removed me. He'd actually added her
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: after the incident that happened during the summer. And I
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: think it's ridiculous because that club was my little boy's
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: safe place.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: To close, what would you say to a woman who's
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: going through something similar?
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: Wow, that's a difficult question. I'd tell her not to
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: be afraid. At the very first red flag, listen to yourself.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: Believe in yourself. Don't worry about being judged or what
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: anyone else might say. Report what's happening. Speak out. Sit
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: here and tell your story. And don't blame yourself. At
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's not her fault. It's
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: the abuser's fault. But it's such a sick game that
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: it's very difficult to understand. I look back and think,
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: I should have left the day of the hotel incident.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: But I didn't. How long did I put up with it?
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: I had a very good therapist who told me that
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 1: family abuse, vicarious abuse, and sexual abuse are among the
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: hardest situations to escape. And I used to think, well,
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: if you don't like something, you just pick up your
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: things and leave. But I wasn't doing that myself. Once
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: you're actually living through it, it's a completely different story.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: Have you thought about how you're going to rebuild your life?
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: The truth is, over this past year and a half,
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: since he kicked us out, I've tried to rebuild my life.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: And I haven't been able to. I haven't been able
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: to because there's no support for women. There's no support
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: when it comes to the law. It's extremely difficult because
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: they expect you to work, to earn money, but also
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: to be present. If I don't take my youngest son somewhere,
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: I'm violating my obligations as a mother. But then how
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: am I supposed to manage everything? And they don't provide
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: any help either. Because when I was with Rodrigo, I
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: did have help. But then, in the divorce agreement, after
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: all the threats, it became, this is what you're getting
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: and that's it. There's no more help. So it's incredibly difficult.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: I want to rebuild my life. I have every intention
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: of doing it. But first, I have to fight for
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: my children. A few weeks ago, I even had to
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: quit a job because I simply couldn't manage everything. You
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: have to put your child on the school bus, pick
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 1: him up, take him somewhere, or arrive at work early.
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 1: And if you don't have enough time, you can't do
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: it all. I wasn't managing. It was incredibly hard. And
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: it's so unfair. Be a mother. But earn money. But
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: take care of everything. It's as though someone is constantly
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: watching you through a magnifying glass, checking boxes, and deciding
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: whether you're doing things right or wrong. The restraining order
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: also affected me tremendously at my son's school. Obviously, people
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: talked about me. Honestly, I don't care if people speak
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: badly about me. I know I'm the one they're gossiping about.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 2: I don't care.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 1: But his partner's cousin has a child at the school,
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 1: and she's made a point of spreading the story everywhere.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 1: She even whispers with other mothers right in front of them.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: front of my son. One day, I approached her and
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: greeted her. And she told me, I'm not going to
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: say hello to you. I said, okay. If you don't
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: want to greet me, that's fine. But I'm asking you
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 1: not to behave that way in front of my son.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: And tea. He worst part was that my son was
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: leaving that afternoon to spend the weekend with his father.
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: So I feel as though I'm in the worst possible position.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 1: You can't move in one direction or the other. Everything
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: you do is judged or criticized. And that affects my
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 1: youngest son too. Because eventually it could affect him socially.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: Will other children invite him to things? Will they exclude him?
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: Will he be included? Because his partner's version of the
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: story is that I attacked her. That's her narrative. And today,
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: the person who's getting caught in the middle of all
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: this is his own son. Forgive me, but last month
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: he didn't pay child support. This month, he took away
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: the club membership. What's next? Where is this going to end?
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: Who's going to stop it? How is it going to stop?
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: If you don't have money, does that mean you have
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: no power? Is that how it works? I don't know.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: Even at school, if you're not the financially responsible parent,
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: you can't make decisions. But I gave everything up. I
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: gave up my school, my dream, my job. I even
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: left my older children, everything. And now I'm supposed to
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: rebuild my life just like that? I tried for a
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: month and I couldn't manage. Either you attend the meeting
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: or you come here or you arrive somewhere else or
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: you put your child on the bus or you take
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: him to practice. But don't forget to pack his lunch.
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: Because otherwise, what is he supposed to eat? Of course
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: my child has to eat. You can't do everything. I
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: don't know which way to turn anymore. And on top
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: of that, there are all the things he hasn't complied with.
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: He owes an enormous amount of money. A year and
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: a half ago, we were in a car accident. The
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 1: car was totaled. My youngest son was unconscious. I suffered
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: injuries to the discs in my spine. And he hasn't
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: paid for the taxis or Ubers I've had to use
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: for eight months. He hasn't paid for the insurance on
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: the car my family was kind enough to give me.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: He hasn't paid for the move. He hasn't paid for
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: my youngest son's school uniforms. He hasn't paid for all
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: the things the school asks parents to bring. You know,
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: things for Halloween and other activities. For a year and
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: a half, he hasn't paid for the books or anything else.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: And that's supposed to be fulfilling his obligations? I genuinely
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: remember that conversation we had before everything happened. When I
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: told him, please don't do this to me because I've
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: already been through it. Obviously, I wasn't talking about this
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: kind of aggression. But I'd already been through a situation
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: involving family court. I couldn't go through that again. And
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: it's not even just about the money or feeling unprotected.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: It's about what he's doing to our youngest son. Because
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: speaking badly about me affects our child. And who suffers
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: when he doesn't pay child support? Our child. I'm already
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: in debt. I don't have anyone else I can ask.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 1: For money. My mother has helped me so much. My
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 1: family has helped me. But the debt just keeps growing.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 1: And the system is terrible too. Because you report a
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: violation in April, and then April passes, May, June, July, August, September.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: And I haven't received a single peso. And he enjoys it.
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: He tells me, if you had me formally notified, I
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: could pay you within four days. But then he says,
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: if you don't sign this calendar I made, you won't
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: be allowed to see our son on his birthday. And
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: I just think, how is that possible? I'm not going
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: to see my own son. He's not 18 years old.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: He's 6. He's about to turn 6. And he tells me,
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 1: you're not going to see him. And then there's the
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: birthday party. He tells me to organize it, but says
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: he won't pay for it. Even though it's included in
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: the agreement. He refuses to pay. So it's incredibly difficult.
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know which way to go. Because I'm a
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: hardworking woman. I've been working since I was 14 years old.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: I've always worked incredibly hard. But when Rodrigo and I
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: talked about having a child and he kept insisting that
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 1: he wanted one, I told him, this time, I'm not
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: going to be the same kind of mother I was
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: with my older children. I was always running around. I
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 1: was a Montessori guide. I was constantly going from one
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: place to another, making lasagnas, baking cakes, doing this, doing that.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: I didn't want that anymore. I felt as though someone
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: were chasing me during World War II. I didn't want
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: to be that kind of mother again. If I was
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: going to become a mother again, I wanted things to
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: be different. And he even used work as a way
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: to control me. Before, he wouldn't let me work because
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: he wanted to keep me there with him. It wasn't
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: until we moved to Valle that I opened my school. And,
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: because of him, I lost that school. Forget about the income.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: The income was very small. That school was my dream.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: It was my passion. So, what are you supposed to be?
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: A submissive wife? What exactly are you supposed to become? No.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 1: I think it's incredibly unfair.