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Ashlee Petersen on Sobriety & Animal Rescue · Untraditionally Lala

0:05
Speaker 1: Hello, my gorgeous people. Welcome to the Give Them La
0:09
Speaker 1: La Podcasts. What a crazy weekend? What a crazy you know?
0:18
Speaker 1: Monday Tuesday. Well we're recording this on a Monday, so
0:23
Speaker 1: it'll air on a Wednesday.
0:25
Speaker 2: But how do you feeling, Jess, I'm feeling good. Welcome back,
0:30
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you you guys. I was home with
0:32
Speaker 2: a bit of a cult. But tis the season. I
0:35
Speaker 2: guess that's what I've heard.
0:37
Speaker 1: So tell me about your weekend. It's been a crazy
0:41
Speaker 1: weekend with Roe versus Wade. I won't lie that was
0:47
Speaker 1: a tough one. I'm not a podcast or person that
0:53
Speaker 1: ventures into my beliefs. I will say this is the
0:56
Speaker 1: one thing that I go this is my fucking body,
1:02
Speaker 1: and how dare you think you have the right to
1:04
Speaker 1: tell me what the fuck to do with it? That
1:08
Speaker 1: hits me closely. For anyone who read my book, I
1:11
Speaker 1: have had an abortion. This is a topic who has
1:14
Speaker 1: affected me personally, women who I know, personally, people I
1:18
Speaker 1: don't even know. It's affected And I got a lot
1:22
Speaker 1: of people when I posted about it. I wanting to
1:25
Speaker 1: go on rampages saying unfollow I think you should unfollow me,
1:28
Speaker 1: because if that's something you're not on my same page.
1:30
Speaker 1: I'm not the person for you, especially a woman who
1:34
Speaker 1: thinks that this doesn't affect them. If you don't see
1:40
Speaker 1: eye to eye with me on this topic, I'm not
1:44
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, And I'm sure I lost a lot
1:48
Speaker 1: of followers. Great, goodbye.
1:51
Speaker 2: This is a heartbreaking time for all women in America
1:55
Speaker 2: and it's fucked up.
1:58
Speaker 1: That's exactly what it is. And I am just was.
2:02
Speaker 1: I was pretty devastated by all of what happened, and
2:06
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people were as well. And
2:09
Speaker 1: one person saying in the state of cal you'll be fine,
2:14
Speaker 1: you can just travel. I'm like, Okay, So the thirteen
2:16
Speaker 1: year old who gets pregnant in a horrific way, all
2:21
Speaker 1: she has to do is travel to a different stage, Yes,
2:23
Speaker 1: because that's easy.
2:24
Speaker 2: It's beyond ignorant and disgusting. And that you can just travel,
2:28
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? You think people everyone can
2:31
Speaker 2: just Yes, there are a lot of people can just travel.
2:33
Speaker 2: But you think that everyone can just pick up and
2:36
Speaker 2: just go to the next state.
2:38
Speaker 1: Your privilege is fine showing which you Yeah, and you've
2:41
Speaker 1: made it right a third or whatever.
2:43
Speaker 2: A young person. Yeah, someone who doesn't have I've got
2:47
Speaker 2: a ton of friends who've experienced this young fifteen years old.
2:52
Speaker 2: Not a ton of friends, but a couple of friends
2:54
Speaker 2: young fifteen years old got pregnant. If their parents would
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Speaker 2: have ever found out, they would have forced them to
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Speaker 2: keep the baby. So they made their a decision on
3:02
Speaker 2: their own. It's like beyond it doesn't amazing.
3:05
Speaker 1: And guess what I can get when things make sense, Jess,
3:08
Speaker 1: I can get down with it. If you can bring
3:10
Speaker 1: me something that makes sense in all areas, I can
3:13
Speaker 1: get down with it. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, So
3:16
Speaker 1: we're not going to venture too much further into it.
3:18
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about something happy. I have an
3:20
Speaker 1: amazing guest today. All of my guests are amazing. I
3:24
Speaker 1: won't even lie, but this guest has a huge piece
3:28
Speaker 1: of my heart because she is responsible for me getting sober.
3:33
Speaker 1: The first person I reached out to, but my guest,
3:37
Speaker 1: Ashley Peterson. She is a part of two horse rescues,
3:41
Speaker 1: one being wild sage horse and the other one Love
3:45
Speaker 1: this Horse. There's going to be in this episode a
3:50
Speaker 1: place where you can go to donate. I'm going to
3:53
Speaker 1: post it on my Instagram. It'll be on the podcast page.
3:57
Speaker 1: If you just venture over to their insta again Wild
4:01
Speaker 1: Sage Horse and Love this Horse. You click on the
4:05
Speaker 1: link in the bio and it'll show you where you
4:08
Speaker 1: can donate. You literally can donate a dollar. If I
4:12
Speaker 1: got one hundred people to donate a dollar, we could
4:16
Speaker 1: help feed a horse for an entire month. So that
4:19
Speaker 1: is incredible. Give what you can share the link. Maybe
4:23
Speaker 1: someone else you know can throw in some money. Anyway,
4:27
Speaker 1: with that being said, we're going to take a short
4:29
Speaker 1: break and we will be back with Ashley Peterson. Welcome back.
4:38
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I have a fantastic guest, Ashley Peterson. Hello,
4:43
Speaker 1: my angel. I call you my angel because and I
4:48
Speaker 1: call you this every time I hit another year of sobriety,
4:52
Speaker 1: because you were the first person that I called when
4:58
Speaker 1: I identified as an alcoholic. Were my very first phone call.
5:01
Speaker 1: I didn't know who you were, You didn't know who
5:03
Speaker 1: I was. Your name was given to me by a psychiatrist,
5:09
Speaker 1: and you swooped in like an angel and gave me
5:12
Speaker 1: a life that I was screaming for.
5:16
Speaker 3: And you know, La, La, thank you. And honestly, experiences
5:20
Speaker 3: like you and I had together, and the fact that
5:24
Speaker 3: you needed to reach out, you needed a connection and
5:27
Speaker 3: you needed something that was grounding for you in a
5:31
Speaker 3: safe space. Like that's why I do what I do
5:34
Speaker 3: for a living. I mean, the basis of alcoholics anonymous
5:39
Speaker 3: is one alcoholic helping another. But for some people, myself included,
5:44
Speaker 3: there's some really critical steps that need to happen before
5:47
Speaker 3: you can even get into the rooms of AA.
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Speaker 1: What would you say those steps are before you get
5:53
Speaker 1: into a room?
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Speaker 3: Well, I always believe there's a certain amount of desperation
5:58
Speaker 3: and willingness that needs to come with sobriety, and how
6:02
Speaker 3: people get there is their own journeys. And obviously, like
6:07
Speaker 3: once you reach a level of desperation and willingness, you've
6:10
Speaker 3: got to then have resources or you've got to have
6:14
Speaker 3: an opportunity because people that suffer with an addictive cycle,
6:19
Speaker 3: like we've all woken up and said, oh my god,
6:22
Speaker 3: I'm never going to drink again. So there's your desperation
6:26
Speaker 3: and willingness. It looks like, Okay, I think I'm finally
6:31
Speaker 3: ready to tell somebody what's going on with me, so
6:33
Speaker 3: I don't have to suffer in silence anymore, and I
6:37
Speaker 3: can allow myself to be supported. And then opportunity is
6:42
Speaker 3: what you had when we met, which is that you
6:45
Speaker 3: had that perfect combination of desperation and willingness and then
6:49
Speaker 3: you actually had access to somebody who was going to
6:53
Speaker 3: say I got you.
6:55
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. It just gives me chills because so
6:57
Speaker 1: many people will slide into my dear, and you know,
7:00
Speaker 1: they want to know how does one choose the path
7:05
Speaker 1: to sobriety and how have you stayed sober. It's such
7:10
Speaker 1: a nuanced thing because I remember you when I hit
7:15
Speaker 1: a year and you called me a unicorn for me,
7:19
Speaker 1: you know, every situation is so different. Everyone's sobriety journey
7:23
Speaker 1: looks different. Yeah, And I love that you said that
7:27
Speaker 1: those are like the three things to really get you
7:30
Speaker 1: into a room, because getting into a room is very intimidating.
7:33
Speaker 1: And I remember I called you on a Monday. You said,
7:37
Speaker 1: I want you to call me every single day whenever
7:41
Speaker 1: until we meet on Thursday. I met you on a
7:44
Speaker 1: Thursday that Thursday, and I was in a room with
7:49
Speaker 1: someone who you introduced me to, who is still my
7:51
Speaker 1: sponsor today. And I was in an AA meeting with
7:54
Speaker 1: her that Thursday that I had met with you. It's
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Speaker 1: crazy to me.
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Speaker 3: It is crazy. Listen, you are a unicorn La LA
8:03
Speaker 3: because there's a lot of people who aren't ready to
8:09
Speaker 3: actually attach to the guidance and the resources. And there's
8:14
Speaker 3: plenty of people I've made suggestions for sponsorship to and
8:19
Speaker 3: given lists of meetings and said, hey, if you really
8:22
Speaker 3: want to be sober, this is this is going to help.
8:25
Speaker 3: This is a great community and a foundation for you.
8:28
Speaker 3: And how many people have said yeah, no, that's not
8:33
Speaker 3: for me, and I go okay, And so you know,
8:37
Speaker 3: I'm always amazed, like my time is not free. I
8:42
Speaker 3: mean people have to pay to come and see me.
8:45
Speaker 3: They will pay and come and see me for counseling
8:47
Speaker 3: and guidance, and I give them the counseling and guidance.
8:50
Speaker 3: They go yeah no, And I think, okay, Well they'll
8:55
Speaker 3: Eithery're either going to figure it out on their own
8:57
Speaker 3: or they're willing to come back when they're ready to
9:01
Speaker 3: hear what I'm saying. People want it to be easy,
9:05
Speaker 3: and you and I know that there is nothing easy
9:09
Speaker 3: about this experience. If it were easy, people like me
9:14
Speaker 3: wouldn't have a job, Alcoholics anonymous wouldn't exist. This is
9:19
Speaker 3: not about willpower. This is and that's all like a
9:23
Speaker 3: lot of ego and a lot of pride at the
9:27
Speaker 3: end of the day, Like, dude, you've got to be
9:28
Speaker 3: willing to like go, yes, take me, just tell me
9:31
Speaker 3: where to go and what to do. I'm so sick
9:34
Speaker 3: and tired of being sick and tired, and I want
9:36
Speaker 3: I'm going to face my fear of the unknown and
9:40
Speaker 3: I'm going to walk through it. And then when you
9:42
Speaker 3: get to the other side, which you and I have
9:44
Speaker 3: talked about so many times, you develop superhuman powers. You
9:49
Speaker 3: can do anything. And by the way, since you got sober,
9:55
Speaker 3: you have walked through more challenges in your life with
10:00
Speaker 3: grace and dignity and turned around and been a role
10:03
Speaker 3: model and a touchstone for other people struggling. That's your
10:07
Speaker 3: superhuman power and that's what you earned when you walk
10:11
Speaker 3: through your fear.
10:12
Speaker 1: Thank you for saying that. There's there's a lot of
10:14
Speaker 1: people who who have asked me, how are you staying
10:19
Speaker 1: sober through these times? To be honest, that's the easy part.
10:25
Speaker 3: Well, and with having a drink change the outcome.
10:27
Speaker 1: Yes, it would make it horrendous, It would make it worse. Yes,
10:32
Speaker 1: you know, and I had a whole other set of issues.
10:36
Speaker 1: When I wake up, my life is manageable. All of
10:39
Speaker 1: these things where when I have the worst day ever
10:42
Speaker 1: and I'm like, today's shit, I can fall into the
10:44
Speaker 1: fact that the day's shit and tomorrow I'm gonna wake
10:47
Speaker 1: up and it's going to be great. If I were drinking,
10:50
Speaker 1: the day would be shit and the inn the next
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Speaker 1: morning would be even fucking worse.
10:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, not worth it. And your beautiful baby, oh
10:57
Speaker 3: my god, that beautiful baby.
10:59
Speaker 1: Who has a mama, who's just like who shows up?
11:02
Speaker 1: We're here? So you said you're expensive? Can you tell people?
11:07
Speaker 1: Because this leads into where you are right now?
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Speaker 3: Yeah?
11:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, what were you doing? And are you still doing it? Ashley?
11:15
Speaker 1: Do you still meet with people like via zoom or yeah?
11:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah. I'm in a practice of primarily
11:23
Speaker 3: all female practitioners, psychiatrists, therapists, and I'm the counselor and
11:29
Speaker 3: case manager based out of Santa Monica. I only work virtually.
11:34
Speaker 3: COVID was really an interesting challenge for us because Stacy
11:39
Speaker 3: Cohen and I had just opened our office in Santa
11:42
Speaker 3: Monica and then we had a lockdown. Yeah, so it
11:45
Speaker 3: became like the Okay, let's pivot, let's figure this out.
11:49
Speaker 3: And I had, you know, being in recovery. I figured
11:54
Speaker 3: that this was going to be high time, like people
11:57
Speaker 3: were either going to drink themselves into oblivion or use
12:00
Speaker 3: themselves into oblivion alone in the privacy of their home
12:03
Speaker 3: and realize like, oh my god, this is really a problem,
12:07
Speaker 3: or maybe a loved one would or people were going
12:10
Speaker 3: to realize since they didn't have to go to the office,
12:13
Speaker 3: they could finally address the problem that they hadn't been
12:17
Speaker 3: able to address because they were so busy on the
12:20
Speaker 3: treadmill alife. So either way, we needed to be able
12:24
Speaker 3: to show up for people virtually, which we did. We did.
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Speaker 3: It was really I think I've probably watched more people
12:32
Speaker 3: get sober and remain sober during the pandemic than I
12:36
Speaker 3: had it any other point in my career. So yes,
12:39
Speaker 3: I'm still a counselor, I'm still a substance abuse counselor.
12:42
Speaker 3: I work only virtually, and which will tie in to
12:46
Speaker 3: what we're going to talk about later. But I think
12:49
Speaker 3: people realized during the pandemic where they could improve the
12:53
Speaker 3: quality of their life, and in Los Angeles, not having
12:57
Speaker 3: to sit in traffic to get across town to find
13:00
Speaker 3: parking spot to get to an office, routing to sit
13:03
Speaker 3: down was a great way to save a few hours
13:06
Speaker 3: out of their day, and so, you know, I was
13:09
Speaker 3: prepared to go back to in person, but everyone we've
13:12
Speaker 3: normalized virtual support, which is a blessing, it.
13:15
Speaker 1: Really is, And you can get so much more done
13:18
Speaker 1: during the day, and there's so many times where things
13:21
Speaker 1: pop up, and if they're coming to meet with you
13:23
Speaker 1: when they've got a reschedule, it's not a big deal.
13:26
Speaker 1: Not a big deal. You hop on, you can do
13:28
Speaker 1: it on your phone.
13:29
Speaker 3: It's not a big deal to me. And I want
13:31
Speaker 3: people to be able to access the support in a
13:34
Speaker 3: realistic way. Right, We've all adapted, and I think for
13:39
Speaker 3: people that don't work conventional work hours to be able
13:43
Speaker 3: to still access virtual support is really important. Not everyone
13:47
Speaker 3: works nine to five.
13:48
Speaker 2: No.
13:49
Speaker 1: I love that you said that you saw a lot
13:51
Speaker 1: of people, more people get sober and stay sober during
13:56
Speaker 1: the pandemic than you've seen in your career, because there
13:59
Speaker 1: were so many rooms that I would go into virtually
14:03
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, and you know, men and women who
14:07
Speaker 1: I had seen before who had a lot of time
14:09
Speaker 1: under their belt coming back with twenty four hours and yeah,
14:13
Speaker 1: it was just crazy to me. There's a man who
14:16
Speaker 1: speaks at this meeting. He always gets up and he
14:19
Speaker 1: always says, I've been sober for thirty years, and it
14:21
Speaker 1: takes thirty seconds for me to be a newcomer. And
14:23
Speaker 1: it's a very that's a humbling thought to think you
14:26
Speaker 1: could have all the time in the world and we're
14:28
Speaker 1: all one slip up away from being newcomers.
14:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that. Gosh, I think the last two
14:35
Speaker 3: and a half years really, really really, I mean it
14:40
Speaker 3: was like a science fiction movie come to life. I
14:43
Speaker 3: mean there was no playbook for it. By the way,
14:48
Speaker 3: I rarely wash my face and brush my teeth to
14:51
Speaker 3: go to work, but I do to go ride my horse.
14:53
Speaker 3: So let's talk about what's become so backwards in COVID.
14:56
Speaker 1: You know what, I think, it's amazing. I love everything
14:59
Speaker 1: that you're doing. I love this setup you have. So
15:01
Speaker 1: I remember coming to your office in Santa Monica, and
15:06
Speaker 1: this was before the pandemic. You said, basically, fuck it,
15:11
Speaker 1: I'm getting a ranch. I just want to be around animals.
15:15
Speaker 1: You did it. Your Instagram account is the do over Ranch.
15:19
Speaker 3: Ye.
15:20
Speaker 1: It gives me all the life in the world because
15:22
Speaker 1: it grounds me. I actually want what you have, and
15:26
Speaker 1: I remember in AA they say surround yourself with people
15:29
Speaker 1: who want what you have or that have what you want. Well,
15:33
Speaker 1: I've done just that, So tell me about what made
15:36
Speaker 1: you want to do that kind of escape from you.
15:39
Speaker 1: You were in the Hollywood industry. Let's tell people like
15:44
Speaker 1: you were in it. You were doing makeup on nine
15:46
Speaker 1: O two one zero, like, talk about that and then
15:49
Speaker 1: tell me where you are now.
15:51
Speaker 3: Sure, So I'm just for the timeline of this story.
15:57
Speaker 3: I'm about to turn fifty three years old. You look,
16:01
Speaker 3: thank you, You're welcome. I attributed to sobriety and actually
16:05
Speaker 3: living a joyful life. So when I was seventeen, I
16:08
Speaker 3: started doing makeup in the film industry. So this was
16:11
Speaker 3: like nineteen eighty seven. I had a twenty three year career,
16:14
Speaker 3: and when my Emmys and had my A list celebrities,
16:19
Speaker 3: had a child. My son is twenty eight years old,
16:22
Speaker 3: and I was like a single mom in this traveling
16:25
Speaker 3: circus show. We just load up in the private jets
16:28
Speaker 3: and fly across country and fly to another country. It
16:32
Speaker 3: was just kids and dogs. It's how we rolled. And
16:35
Speaker 3: I secretly was developing a really really significant substance abuse problem,
16:41
Speaker 3: and I think probably there was plenty of people around
16:45
Speaker 3: me that knew that something wasn't right, but no one
16:48
Speaker 3: ever challenged me on it because I provided a service,
16:53
Speaker 3: I was good at what I did, and people also
16:56
Speaker 3: depended on me to make money and work, so there
16:59
Speaker 3: was a lot of like we was just going to
17:01
Speaker 3: kind of turn the blind's eye to the fact that,
17:03
Speaker 3: like something's going wrong. So eventually, like I became a
17:07
Speaker 3: liability and my substance abuse problem got so bad that
17:12
Speaker 3: I couldn't travel anymore because I couldn't actually access what
17:17
Speaker 3: I needed to stay well because it wasn't conventional what
17:22
Speaker 3: I was doing, And so I stopped traveling and it
17:25
Speaker 3: really limited my career, and eventually I just kind of slowly,
17:28
Speaker 3: quietly slipped away into active addiction alone in an apartment
17:34
Speaker 3: in Squaller. You know, this was like I had gone
17:37
Speaker 3: from like being married to the celebrity all the A
17:40
Speaker 3: list clients to like literally living in a two bedroom
17:43
Speaker 3: apartment that was filled with trash that I hadn't paid
17:46
Speaker 3: rent on in months. And I know the only reason
17:50
Speaker 3: he didn't evictimy because he knew my dad was a
17:52
Speaker 3: lawyer and he planned on suing him for the back rent.
17:55
Speaker 3: Once I got out, which, by the way, he did.
17:58
Speaker 3: And when I was forty one, my family did an intervention,
18:03
Speaker 3: and I think my son at the time was fifteen.
18:06
Speaker 3: I don't think they really knew the gory details of
18:09
Speaker 3: how bad it had gotten, but they knew it was bad,
18:12
Speaker 3: and so they hired an intervention. If my son said
18:14
Speaker 3: something to my mom along the lines of, like, my
18:17
Speaker 3: mom's dying, I don't like, I don't want my mom
18:20
Speaker 3: to die. My mom had been up probably for years
18:24
Speaker 3: at night worrying about me, so they did the intervention.
18:28
Speaker 3: I was forty one. I was like, hallelujah, Oh my god, Yay,
18:32
Speaker 3: finally someone's like realizes there's something really wrong here and
18:36
Speaker 3: they're giving me while I couldn't find a way to
18:41
Speaker 3: get off the treadmill, Like when I thought about getting sober,
18:44
Speaker 3: I was like, well, who's going to watch my son?
18:46
Speaker 3: What about the dog? What about the bills I can't
18:49
Speaker 3: already pay? But then everyone's going to know I'm not
18:51
Speaker 3: really paying all my bills, and like, I really needed
18:54
Speaker 3: to be rescued, but I also was mortified. I was
18:59
Speaker 3: filled with so much shame that like I'd had this
19:02
Speaker 3: spectacular fall from grace and nobody was talking to me,
19:07
Speaker 3: like why would you? I was like a hot mess.
19:10
Speaker 3: So they did the intervention. I said, yes, absolutely. I
19:13
Speaker 3: went to a fabulous nonprofit treatment program in Culver City
19:19
Speaker 3: called Bait Tishuva. It was literally the most incredible experience
19:26
Speaker 3: I ever had because I got to just focus on
19:29
Speaker 3: myself and that was the last thing they said. They're like,
19:32
Speaker 3: don't worry about anything else, just worry about yourself, and
19:34
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god. They gave me permission
19:36
Speaker 3: to get better finally. So I stayed a very long time.
19:40
Speaker 3: While I was there, I decided I don't want to
19:42
Speaker 3: go back to makeup. I felt really disconnected from it.
19:46
Speaker 3: It felt like I'd fallen out of love with something
19:49
Speaker 3: that I'd thought I always loved. But I kind of
19:51
Speaker 3: grew up in that industry, and I also think I
19:54
Speaker 3: grew out of it. So I went back to college.
19:58
Speaker 3: I was forty two years old, and I went to
20:00
Speaker 3: call it.
20:00
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
20:01
Speaker 3: And I'd never been to college because I started when
20:03
Speaker 3: I was seventeen, and so I studied psychology and addiction.
20:08
Speaker 3: I was a straight A student, by the way, which
20:10
Speaker 3: I had never been ever in the history of my life,
20:14
Speaker 3: and I got my degree in substance abuse counseling, and
20:17
Speaker 3: I started working my way through like a bunch of
20:20
Speaker 3: kind of lower level jobs. It was like the first
20:22
Speaker 3: time I ever at like really was aware that I
20:25
Speaker 3: was like climbing the ladder, like, Okay, you got to
20:28
Speaker 3: do this, and then you got to get to this
20:29
Speaker 3: and then and by the way, the money was horrible
20:34
Speaker 3: and the work was brutal. So eventually, sort of like
20:39
Speaker 3: stepping stones on a path, I just kept taking another
20:42
Speaker 3: step forward. One job would lead to another, and ultimately
20:46
Speaker 3: I had this incredibly wise man who was part of
20:49
Speaker 3: my own recovery named Shiah Blakeney, and he said, actually,
20:54
Speaker 3: I see something for you that is much bigger than this,
20:58
Speaker 3: Like he showed me my potential of who I could
21:01
Speaker 3: be so I didn't have to necessarily keep working for
21:04
Speaker 3: other people, that there was a way that I could
21:08
Speaker 3: personally empower myself in this career and go into private practice.
21:13
Speaker 3: Mind you, when he saw that for me, it was
21:17
Speaker 3: three years before I actually did it because I couldn't
21:20
Speaker 3: envision it yet. I realized that there really was a demand,
21:24
Speaker 3: and you were one of those stepping stones. Along with
21:28
Speaker 3: this handful of private clients that I had with you,
21:31
Speaker 3: Like I would work all day in a treatment program
21:34
Speaker 3: and then stay late to see private clients. Okay, And
21:38
Speaker 3: I realized, like, oh, I can be helpful to people,
21:41
Speaker 3: like look at these people are doing really well with
21:44
Speaker 3: this one on one counseling. It's helping them they feel
21:47
Speaker 3: a sense of connection. So I went into private practice
21:50
Speaker 3: with Stacy Cohen.
21:52
Speaker 1: I had Stacey Cohen on the podcast just for my listeners.
21:55
Speaker 1: Stacy Cohen, if you go back, she was fantastic. People
22:00
Speaker 1: went crazy over her episode. She is the one that
22:03
Speaker 1: gave me your number. So there's the connection there.
22:08
Speaker 3: And Stacy is the one who reached out to me
22:11
Speaker 3: long before I was ready and said, Hey, I'm opening
22:15
Speaker 3: this boutique practice in Santa Monica. I want you to
22:19
Speaker 3: be my substance abuse counselor. Like I need to have
22:22
Speaker 3: you in my practice. And I was like, oh my god,
22:24
Speaker 3: that's the scariest and most exciting thing I've ever heard
22:27
Speaker 3: in my entire life. Let me think about it. So
22:32
Speaker 3: ultimately I said yes, and Stacy and I about six
22:36
Speaker 3: months before the pandemic hit opened the moment she opened
22:39
Speaker 3: it and I joined her. There was something else happening
22:42
Speaker 3: in the background of my life just as a woman,
22:45
Speaker 3: which is that at the time that a lot of
22:47
Speaker 3: these changes were going on in my career, I was
22:50
Speaker 3: also approaching fifty years old and I had this, like
22:55
Speaker 3: I know people talk about midlife crisises, Mine was a
22:59
Speaker 3: midlife awakening.
23:00
Speaker 1: Wow.
23:01
Speaker 3: I don't know what happened, but like I literally woke
23:05
Speaker 3: up and I was like, oh my god, what's happening.
23:09
Speaker 3: I'm going to be fifty years old? Let me look
23:11
Speaker 3: at my life. The question that I kept asking myself
23:16
Speaker 3: is is there something that if I don't do it
23:20
Speaker 3: now when I can, when I'm physically and financially able
23:24
Speaker 3: to do it. If I don't do it and I
23:27
Speaker 3: get to like seventy or eighty or the end of
23:30
Speaker 3: my life and I look back, am I going to
23:32
Speaker 3: regret that I didn't see the opportunity?
23:35
Speaker 1: And the answer was yes, Oh my gosh, I love this.
23:39
Speaker 3: And that's how we That's how we got the do
23:41
Speaker 3: Over ranch. Like the do Over Ranch was me getting
23:44
Speaker 3: my do over. And then as a result, these animals
23:49
Speaker 3: that I have at the ranch were of all rescues
23:53
Speaker 3: and they came here to get their due over. And
23:56
Speaker 3: so you know it's been this path journey of like
24:01
Speaker 3: self discovery and awakening and realization that like I don't
24:05
Speaker 3: have to live my life based on what others expectations
24:09
Speaker 3: are of me.
24:10
Speaker 1: I have chills. I just want to say all over
24:13
Speaker 1: my whole body, like the midlife awakening is brilliant. I
24:19
Speaker 1: think more people should start talking about that. I've talked
24:24
Speaker 1: to you about this. My mom, you know, worked for
24:26
Speaker 1: the Humane Society like you and I share a love
24:29
Speaker 1: for these sweet animals, and I love you posting about them.
24:35
Speaker 1: You came to me last week and spoke about a
24:40
Speaker 1: force rescue that I believe is a nonprofit. And we
24:46
Speaker 1: all know that we are in tough times right now.
24:48
Speaker 1: I mean, people are sitting here going do I put
24:51
Speaker 1: food on the table for my family or do I
24:54
Speaker 1: do this? The choice is obviously very easy, and when
24:57
Speaker 1: things like this happen, they're there are animals that suffer.
25:03
Speaker 1: That is your biggest passion. I relate to that. I
25:07
Speaker 1: want to hear about this horse rescue and I want
25:10
Speaker 1: my listeners to know how we can help, even in
25:13
Speaker 1: a small way, big ways you tell us amazing.
25:17
Speaker 3: So the rescue that I reached out to is called
25:21
Speaker 3: Wild Sage Horse Rescue. How I got associated with Wild
25:26
Speaker 3: Sage Horse Rescue is through the horse rescue where I
25:29
Speaker 3: rescued most of my horses, which is called Love This
25:32
Speaker 3: Horse Equine Rescue, And there are two single women who
25:37
Speaker 3: have started these two separate rescues. One is very breed specific,
25:41
Speaker 3: so like Love This Horse primarily rescues Arabian horses, where
25:47
Speaker 3: Wild Sage rescues all breeds. And so right now I'm
25:52
Speaker 3: going to talk about horse rescue in general because I
25:56
Speaker 3: think what happens is the trickle down economics of life.
26:00
Speaker 3: It started before we hit the sphase that we're in
26:03
Speaker 3: right now with gas prices and food prices, but even
26:06
Speaker 3: during COVID is that people started abandoning their animals and
26:12
Speaker 3: dumping their animals. And so these types of organizations like
26:16
Speaker 3: Love This Horse and Wild Stage take them in and
26:20
Speaker 3: they rehabilitate them and they feed them and they retrain
26:23
Speaker 3: them and they adopt them out. When people were home
26:26
Speaker 3: during the pandemic and we were all getting you know, people,
26:29
Speaker 3: we had more money in the bank because they weren't
26:32
Speaker 3: out doing whatever they do in life, weren't driving, weren't
26:37
Speaker 3: going out and having dinners. People got really connected to
26:41
Speaker 3: like giving, which was really a beautiful thing. I think
26:45
Speaker 3: what's happened is everyone is afraid, and I understand I
26:49
Speaker 3: live in my own fear, and I have to sometimes
26:53
Speaker 3: make choices between do I buy hay and make sure
26:56
Speaker 3: we have hay for three months or do something that's
27:01
Speaker 3: more personally driven, like I'm not going to buy the
27:04
Speaker 3: expensive boots or the handbag right now, I'm going to
27:07
Speaker 3: feed my horses. So these horse rescues depend on donations.
27:11
Speaker 3: They're nonprofits and grants for the grants are not easy
27:16
Speaker 3: to come by for the little people. And so I
27:19
Speaker 3: realized that when I got more personally involved with Wild Stage,
27:23
Speaker 3: it was because a family reached out. This is just
27:26
Speaker 3: an example of what kind of what we deal with.
27:29
Speaker 3: A family reached out and their dad was ill, had
27:33
Speaker 3: dementia and his beloved herd of horses needed to be
27:38
Speaker 3: taken care of, and they donated. They surrendered them to
27:42
Speaker 3: the rescue. So when they come into the rescue, we
27:45
Speaker 3: have to feed them, we got to vet them, they've
27:47
Speaker 3: got to have their feet done, they've got to be retrained,
27:50
Speaker 3: they've got to be All these things cost money. So
27:53
Speaker 3: the best way to help is even if people like, listen,
27:57
Speaker 3: if one hundred people donated a dollar, we're almost feeding
28:00
Speaker 3: a horse for a month, you know what I mean.
28:02
Speaker 3: But if you break it down to a micro level,
28:06
Speaker 3: like you know, it's about one hundred and fifty to
28:08
Speaker 3: two hundred dollars a month to feed a horse. Okay,
28:10
Speaker 3: but by the way, every day, hay prices are going
28:15
Speaker 3: up because of gas prices, right because of water prices,
28:20
Speaker 3: And so I really encourage people to or they can.
28:25
Speaker 3: You can sponsor a horse monthly. You know, you can
28:27
Speaker 3: go visit the horses at the rescue like they love
28:31
Speaker 3: to have people involved, but the volunteering has fallen down,
28:34
Speaker 3: the donations have fallen down. And I'm watching two really
28:39
Speaker 3: special friends of mine, like trying to figure out how
28:43
Speaker 3: they're going to keep their rescue together. If we can't
28:48
Speaker 3: keep the rescues going, then what happens.
28:51
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine going to that place of what
28:54
Speaker 1: do we do if we can't get people to help
28:57
Speaker 1: us out?
28:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, And how I e and found my way into
29:01
Speaker 3: horse rescues is that I decided I was going to
29:05
Speaker 3: adopt a horse because I don't think people realize that sure,
29:09
Speaker 3: you can buy a horse that hasn't had any adversity
29:15
Speaker 3: in their life, that's always been with one person or
29:17
Speaker 3: had perfect training, and you're going to spend a lot
29:20
Speaker 3: of money likely on that horse. Or if you're like me,
29:25
Speaker 3: it's like, well, everybody deserves the second chance, animals included, right,
29:30
Speaker 3: Like like I've like, where's the horse that needs to
29:35
Speaker 3: do over? Everyone needs to do it over. And that's
29:37
Speaker 3: how I fell into it, you know, by the way
29:40
Speaker 3: my horse and I are like winning championships together.
29:45
Speaker 1: I know, I've seen it. It's crazy.
29:48
Speaker 3: It's crazy. This horse. You couldn't even put a halter
29:51
Speaker 3: on this horse three and a half years ago.
29:53
Speaker 1: Oh my Ashley, that is so cute.
29:59
Speaker 3: So it's like, you know, anything is possible. But we've
30:02
Speaker 3: got to take care of the grassroots, right, We've got
30:05
Speaker 3: to take care of the base of the operations, yeah,
30:07
Speaker 3: which is the rescues.
30:09
Speaker 1: Right. So do you know how many horses are in
30:12
Speaker 1: this rescue right now?
30:14
Speaker 3: So Wild Sage has I believe, twelve horses. And do
30:19
Speaker 3: you know how much we average in donations a month?
30:22
Speaker 3: How much fifty dollars?
30:24
Speaker 1: Okay, well we're going to change that. So you have
30:27
Speaker 1: there's twelve horses in the rescue. You could feed a
30:30
Speaker 1: horse for an entire month, let's just say around two
30:34
Speaker 1: hundred to two fifty YEP with inflation. How do we donate?
30:40
Speaker 2: So?
30:41
Speaker 3: You can donate through Venmo, you can donate through PayPal
30:46
Speaker 3: at Wild Sage Horse Rescue dot com. You can go
30:49
Speaker 3: to their instagram. We really need to like increase traffic,
30:55
Speaker 3: you know, on social media, and all the links for
30:59
Speaker 3: donations are on the social media for Wild Sage Horse
31:03
Speaker 3: Rescue for Love This Horse Equine Rescue. These are like
31:08
Speaker 3: hard wooking women who basically had to get second jobs
31:13
Speaker 3: in addition to their rescue to keep their families fed
31:16
Speaker 3: and to keep the horses fed. Wow, I just I
31:20
Speaker 3: really am so grateful that you're letting me talk about
31:23
Speaker 3: it because you have an amazing reach, and I don't
31:27
Speaker 3: think people realize how many. I mean, there's a lot
31:30
Speaker 3: of high profile horse rescues that already have the foot
31:34
Speaker 3: traffic in the donations, but I wanted to bring some
31:37
Speaker 3: awareness to some of the little guys.
31:40
Speaker 1: Well, I'm so happy that you did, and I'm going
31:42
Speaker 1: to make sure I post on my page will spread
31:45
Speaker 1: the word and to my listeners. If you don't have
31:49
Speaker 1: the funds right now. You can also spread the word. Yeah,
31:53
Speaker 1: that's what we need reposting. Like Ashley said, if we
31:57
Speaker 1: could get one hundred people to just donate one dollar,
32:02
Speaker 1: that's all it takes.
32:02
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's all tax deductible. And if someone decided
32:06
Speaker 3: they wanted to sponsor a horse monthly that you know
32:09
Speaker 3: they track their progress on social media. It's like, you're
32:12
Speaker 3: right there. If you're in southern California, you can come
32:16
Speaker 3: out and visit the horses. They love it.
32:19
Speaker 1: There's so much we can do. I'm thrilled that you
32:23
Speaker 1: approached me with this and thrilled that we could get
32:25
Speaker 1: you on the podcast so quickly.
32:27
Speaker 3: Oh, it was meant to be.
32:30
Speaker 1: It was meant to be, and I'm I'm excited. I
32:33
Speaker 1: think that you inspire me. You do amazing work. You're
32:36
Speaker 1: not only helping people, but you're helping the voiceless, and
32:41
Speaker 1: that to me, just it it gives it gives me
32:49
Speaker 1: a lot of hope to see you're doing what you're doing.
32:54
Speaker 3: You made me cry. I love you so much, well.
32:56
Speaker 2: I love you.
32:57
Speaker 1: I just we're in such a weird world and you
32:59
Speaker 1: start losing faith in humanity.
33:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh so did you feel like you really had
33:06
Speaker 3: a voice when you were drinking. Was there a part
33:09
Speaker 3: of you that felt silence just from the I felt
33:11
Speaker 3: silence from the shame and the guilt.
33:13
Speaker 1: I mean there was shame, There was guilt. I looked
33:16
Speaker 1: in the mirror. I didn't even know who I was.
33:17
Speaker 1: What do you believe in? What do you think about
33:20
Speaker 1: certain things? And I didn't know. It was like I
33:22
Speaker 1: could tell you that I want a vodka soda in
33:24
Speaker 1: my system right now to numb myself to my very core.
33:28
Speaker 1: But as far as having a voice or a thought
33:31
Speaker 1: about anything that didn't exist, well.
33:35
Speaker 3: I think it was a natural segue for me when
33:38
Speaker 3: I found my own voice, and I wanted people in
33:41
Speaker 3: recovery to find their voice again and find a sense
33:45
Speaker 3: of purpose and belonging and meaning. And then when I
33:48
Speaker 3: turned around and I looked at these animals, and I
33:51
Speaker 3: was like, well, who's going to tell their story?
33:54
Speaker 1: Right?
33:54
Speaker 3: They don't have a voice, Like how do we get
33:57
Speaker 3: people to care about what this animal has gone through?
34:03
Speaker 3: If we don't talk about it, if we don't raise awareness.
34:06
Speaker 3: And I full sledge to become the crazy animal lady.
34:09
Speaker 1: I love it. I think it's great. I think you
34:11
Speaker 1: got it figured out.
34:13
Speaker 3: But you know what, it's totally unconditional.
34:16
Speaker 1: I know, I see it.
34:19
Speaker 3: And when I get a little burnout on the human race,
34:21
Speaker 3: which I'm not going to lie, I'm like a little
34:24
Speaker 3: burnout right now watching everything that's going on in the world.
34:28
Speaker 3: Like I just go sit with my chickens, I just
34:31
Speaker 3: go sit with my horses, and it grounds me again.
34:35
Speaker 3: And so even if people are living in an apartment
34:39
Speaker 3: in the Midwest and feel disconnected, just to be able
34:44
Speaker 3: to follow some of this social media and feel connected
34:49
Speaker 3: to one of these horses journey from entering the rescue
34:53
Speaker 3: to where they find their forever home is really really beautiful.
35:00
Speaker 3: You don't have to donate to be part of it.
35:02
Speaker 3: Just be aware it's going.
35:03
Speaker 1: On, right and spread the word.
35:06
Speaker 3: Spread the word that's free, that doesn't cost anything.
35:09
Speaker 1: No. I know when people you know sit there and
35:12
Speaker 1: go but I can't do anything, it's like, yes, you
35:14
Speaker 1: can spread talk about awareness. Let's have a conversation because
35:18
Speaker 1: there's going to be people out there who who can't
35:20
Speaker 1: afford to you know, say, I've got five bucks here.
35:24
Speaker 1: It is amazing. That's what we need. Nothing is too small.
35:29
Speaker 3: Nothing, and it's so appreciated because you know, these rescues
35:35
Speaker 3: start to feel alone.
35:37
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine it, you would start feeling alone.
35:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, well, where's the humanity? You know, no
35:46
Speaker 3: one cares?
35:47
Speaker 1: Yep, you feel like you almost feel like you're in
35:49
Speaker 1: the middle of the ocean drowning and everyone around you
35:52
Speaker 1: is sitting there watching it happen. Yeah, we're going to
35:55
Speaker 1: change it, so repeat one more time. Where people can
35:58
Speaker 1: go to.
36:01
Speaker 3: So there's Wild Sage Horse Rescue, which is both the
36:07
Speaker 3: horse rescues I talked about today are both on social media,
36:11
Speaker 3: Wild Sage Horse Rescue and Love This Horse Equine Rescue.
36:16
Speaker 3: They have Instagram, they have Facebook, they have donation links
36:21
Speaker 3: through PayPal, through Venmo. The tricky thing about the social
36:25
Speaker 3: media sites is, I know people like convenience. They're like, oh,
36:28
Speaker 3: I'm going to donate through Facebook, but the really or
36:31
Speaker 3: I'm going to donate straight through Instagram, which I think
36:33
Speaker 3: it's amazing they've made that available. The problem is they
36:37
Speaker 3: hold the money for thirty to forty five days, so
36:40
Speaker 3: the rescues don't resource. They can't access the money for
36:43
Speaker 3: a month or a month and a half. So people
36:45
Speaker 3: are going to donate. I encourage them to donate through
36:48
Speaker 3: PayPal or Venmo because they get it immediately. Okay, and
36:52
Speaker 3: I will send you everything in our little private text change,
36:57
Speaker 3: so you've got both in front of you and they're
36:59
Speaker 3: both on social media.
37:01
Speaker 1: Amazing. I love you so much, Thank you so much
37:03
Speaker 1: for being on my podcast.
37:05
Speaker 3: I love you too, anytime. I love