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Sober Talk SA - Paula · Sober Talk SA

• 0:00
  Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I've lived
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  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone you know is
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  struggling with alcohol, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on
• 0:10
  1300 double 22222 or check out their website on aa.org dot a U
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  I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
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  fellowship of men and women. We share their experience,
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  strengthen up with each other. They must solve their problems
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  and help others to recover from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
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  drinking. There are no Jews of Feast for A
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  membership. We are self supporting through
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  our own contributions. A is not allied with any sect,
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  denomination, politics, organization or institution.
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  Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses or
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  oppose any causes. Our primary purpose is stairs
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  open up. Other Alcoholics achieve
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  sobriety. And we've got arguing with this
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  and Paula and Sharon, my system, it's it's the Sharon's been
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  having 20 years up and just in the evenings itself and.
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  Adrian, I'm an alcoholic. Three years so.
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  But they were sending for Serenity Thursday.
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  Thank you. I agree.
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  I'm an alcoholic and sobriety tonight, the 28th of July. 2018
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  and my Home group is Hilly Beach, 12 Promises and Sunday
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  night Exeter. Thank you.
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  Paul I. My name is Sharon.
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  I'm an alcoholic. I've got nearly three years up
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  in surprise and line. I'm group is pulled out the
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  right. You know how it works,
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  preliminary, a little bit of chapter which we go in an all
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  meeting away, I think I agree. Portion of Chapter 5.
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  How it works. Rarely have we seen it first
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  failing to sorry, find out, but in here they've got very people
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  you cannot hold or free to give themselves to be strictly
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  further you need no matter what. They were constitutionally
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  incapable of being honest with themselves.
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  They are unfortunates. They are not at fault.
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  They seem to have been born that way.
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  They are naturally incapable of grassing and developing.
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  A matter of English demands rigorous honesty.
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  The answers are both an average. There are those, too, who suffer
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  from grave emotional and mental disorders.
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  Many of them do recover if they had the capacity.
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  To be honest, our story is closed in a general way.
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  What we used to be like, what happened and what we are like
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  now. If you decided you want what we
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  have and are willing to go to any lakes to get it and you were
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  ready to take certain steps and some of these we balked.
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  We thought we could find it easier to solve the way, but we
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  could not with all the osmosis of our command.
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  You could be furious Sarah. From the very start, some of us
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  have tried the whole where all that is.
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  And it was always meal until we let go.
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  Absolutely remember that we dealt with alcohol.
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  Cunning, baffling, powerful, without help is too much for us.
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  There is one who has all power. That one is God.
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  May you find it now I believe that the bell is nothing.
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  We stood at the turning point. We are seeing protection in care
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  with complete abandon. Here in the steps we told we
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  suggested as a program of recovery.
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  One we will powers over alcohol that had a lot of it become
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  unmanageable. And to believe that a pal
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  greater than ourselves could restore us the sentence.
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  Right. Right.
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  We were sitting down to turn out well, and a large out of the
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  care of God is under study. Could you tell the right someone
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  fight it's. His hair and four made a certain
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  feel. The small inventory of ourselves
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  5 Go to ourselves and to another human being.
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  Exactly how long? Six.
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  We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
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  character. Then humbly asked him to remove
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  our show company. It may rest of all persons we've
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  helped and became willing to make amends to the law.
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  Nine. We made the recommends to such
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  people. Where are the possible except
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  for him to do so with injure them or others 10?
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  Continue to take a first door inventory and where we were
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  wrong promptly 11 sought for a prayer and meditation to improve
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  our conscious compact with God as we understood Him, playing
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  only for knowledge of His will for us, and with all to carry
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  that out well. Having had a spiritual awakening
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  as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to
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  Alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.
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  Many of us explained what an order.
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  I can't go through it. Do not be discouraged.
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  No one of others has been able to maintain anything like
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  perfect adherence to these principles.
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  We're not states. The point is that we are willing
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  to grow along spiritual lines. Good.
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  The principals we are set down, the guides to progress we claim
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  spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
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  Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the
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  angle Stick, and our personal adventures before and after make
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  clear three cousins ideas. A that we were alcoholic and
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  could not manage our own lives. B the old emotional car could
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  have relieved our alcoholism. C That a God could handle it if
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  it were. Thank you.
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  Right. Yeah, that was well done.
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  Yes. Hi, I'm Paul, no one alcoholic.
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  So I got today through the fellowship of A A and the loving
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  God of my understanding and oh God, who thought I'd be saying
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  that five years ago, nearly five years ago, God drank for 33
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  years. And I come in the rooms at 50
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  and Oh my God, what a different life a A has given me.
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  I did. Oh yeah, I did.
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  I never thought I had a drinking problem and an alcoholic was
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  definitely out of the question. I I just thought I drank too
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  much. I'd drink, I'd drink too much.
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  All my problems that oh, my life, it it just turned shit in
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  the end. Everything, my whole, my whole
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  world just fell apart and. I just thought it was everyone
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  else's fault and I knew. I always knew I was different.
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  I I knew I was. I always knew I was different.
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  But the 33 years did not want to I connect with alcohol.
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  I I could not connect dogs. I couldn't put two and two
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  together. I I I always thought six.
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  I couldn't absolutely and I'll see encounters.
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  But I believe now from what I'm learning in my short time of in
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  a A. I was born an alcoholic God.
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  I was born a thief, a liar and sheep, a manipulative person.
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  I didn't feel right from the word growing up.
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  I I didn't feel connected to my family.
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  I didn't fit in. I had so much fear, how much
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  anxiety, but I didn't know what that that's what it was back
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  then, you know? And oh God, yeah, it's
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  frightening my family. I didn't have any friends.
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  I was, I was just, I didn't fit in with anyone.
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  I, you know, my parents, you know, the friends, even, you
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  know, people at school, kids at school, I just didn't fit in in
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  their groups. And you know, it wasn't the
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  pretty one. I was red, little red hair, you
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  know, frickly skinny little thing like the little red doll.
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  And I was, you know, I was always fear and I never
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  understood anything when the teachers were talking.
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  And now I know it was just that fear of I never was going to
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  understand what they were, what they were going to say.
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  You know, I'd like to all my all my primary school and and the
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  same with high school too. And I never understood what the
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  teachers were staying and it's now I just never never sit it in
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  and I didn't feel good enough. I didn't feel pretty.
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  I felt ugly and fat and I always thought I was really dumb and
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  stupid. And I couldn't wait to get out
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  of school. So once I get out of school and
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  and get out of home and get a job and get a car, if I get all
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  that, get out there in life, you know when people will let me
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  know. I have friends and I'll be
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  pretty. And look, I did all that and
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  we've down at home got a job and everything 1617 and then.
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  And I picked up that drink and Oh my God did I love it.
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  I loved I absolutely loved alcohol.
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  I loved the taste. I loved the effect was like
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  whoa, here I come. I thought I was I thought I was
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  the queen and she. But I thought I was sexy.
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  I thought I was gorgeous. All the boys are gonna love me.
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  All the girls are gonna love me. Everyone's gonna love me and and
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  you know and I hear in the rooms and.
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  People telling their story, sharing their stories.
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  And a few members say that they look in the mirror and and they
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  just love themselves and it's gone.
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  Oh my God, that was me. That was me.
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  Before I'd go out, I'd always look in the mirror.
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  I don't always, you know, I didn't have a drink before I'd
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  go out anywhere. It's just what I did and I look
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  in the mirror and I thought it's love myself and I thought I was
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  pretty. I was gorgeous.
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  Like I said, you know and. Oh, it's always that
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  anticipation that I am. I always look forward to getting
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  a drink, to having a drink, You know, it's so excited.
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  And I'll get my the glass really, in the morning, my straw
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  in it, you know, the the Walker ready.
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  I I always knew, you know, I was going to.
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  I was coming home to drink. And yeah, I I drank the black, I
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  drank. Well, I started drinking too.
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  Yeah, I I I was having blackouts and I, you know, I just thought
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  that's what that's what everyone did.
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  Everyone would be telling me what I was doing.
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  You know, the the next day. I just, I just absolutely love
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  alcohol. And I and I'm married to
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  Alcoholics, you know. I knew I was going to always
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  find the man of my dreams, you know, in a pub, you know?
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  Now I know there was I there was nothing.
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  I had no dignity. There was nothing ladylike about
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  me. I loved the palms.
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  I loved that. I just love the.
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  And I just feel that whether it comes to alcohol, you know, the
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  front bar, the swearing, just every just everything get bad.
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  I loved it and you know and I just thought everyone loved me
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  too. And I I didn't know.
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  I didn't go to jail. I didn't have any cops off to
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  me. I didn't drink and drive.
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  You know, none of that. What I hear in there, you know,
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  I, I, I tried to walk down and I was always on when I say, you
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  know, just dealing. And I was stealing from as young
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  as I can remember, you know, figure it through my money, you
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  know, from a person just I just stole right up until the day I
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  was 50, you know, And I just thought, well, I didn't think
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  nothing of it, you know. And then I was always sort of
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  myself out with them. I always had to look good.
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  I always had to look good. The best clothes, the best of
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  everything, the best jewelry, the best hairstyle.
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  You know, on the outside, on the outside I am.
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  I look perfect, the perfect home.
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  But now on the inside, I was, I was.
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  I was filling everything up and I kind of feel the inside.
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  I had no idea I was. I was so lonely.
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  I was so scared and I was just so frightened and and just that
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  fear and anxiety and I I had no idea that the alcohol was taking
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  that away from me. All I knew I just.
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  I just loved drinking and like I said I was always craving it and
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  just that anticipation for a drink.
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  But as I know what I'm learning now, it just progressed and.
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  And my my life is, my life is getting worse.
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  I was just going down, down, down, down.
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  And you know, and and it wasn't my problem, you know, to be.
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  I didn't have any any problems. It was it was always everyone
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  else. I'd put the finger.
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  I'd blame everyone else. I'd scream at everyone else.
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  To me, I had no problems. It was everyone else.
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  And you know when I come in at 50.
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  You know, like I'd I'd lost my marriage my second marriage and
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  I'd lost my house and I'd come into a a because I I knew I knew
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  where I knew where to come. I said I wasn't an alcoholic and
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  I I didn't have a drinking problem.
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  I just drank too much and I wanted a A to mine called my
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  poor little skull away I was I was in debt you know I wanted a
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  A to and I think my son too. My son was 21 when I come in
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  and. Yeah my son he he he was
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  drinking and drugging and I wanted a A to fix my son.
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  I wanted A to give me a job you know I fix my get a my car off
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  Get Me Out of oh just just fix my life just fix my life as
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  well. If you know if that was all six
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  I would be like hey and just but I knew but I knew something was
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  wrong. I knew I was a little bit
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  different and and when I'd come in I'd come in to a a I was, I
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  was like a little. I was so scared and terrified
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  and fraud and I I come in like I was that little girl, you know
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  33 years ago I had yeah. I had no idea I was an
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  alcoholic. You know and look I I don't
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  normally speak too long because I don't have you know I don't
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  have a a big big recovery story but look at a eights has given
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  me a new life. I I didn't understand anything
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  when I come in. I I I I wouldn't like you people
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  you know you you you didn't understand me.
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  You know I I you know I didn't fit in in the outside world and
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  I didn't fit in the a A I just I didn't know where I belong.
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  But I just I just I just had to keep coming back because he got
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  he got me at my fault and I had nowhere else to go other better.
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  I was just staying. I'm in my drinking and drugging
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  son. I just keep coming to meetings
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  and. Oh look, you know I didn't get a
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  a, a, a got me, you know, I just had to keep coming back.
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  You know meeting after meeting every night.
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  Yeah. It's just because I'm a very
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  very slow learner and and I and I and I don't pick things up
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  very quickly and and like the previous speaker make said it's
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  a that repetitive that repetitive just.
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  People sharing, people talking. They're getting up talking,
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  especially the old, the old, the old time is because then they've
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  been where I've been and they kept sharing, sharing, sharing
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  their story. That and what I was getting.
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  They were telling me about me. They were telling me about me.
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  And people bit, it was like, Oh my God, yeah, that's how I
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  thought and that that's how I felt.
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  You know, I I had. I had no no idea.
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  You know my feelings and and my thinking I I had no idea.
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  You know if that's an affection in the mind is that you know the
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  days that sit in the minds you know and and I'm gonna be I'm
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  gonna be starting out there that's I don't know what to say
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  oh that's that's. All right, Paula.
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  Yeah, no worries. Just finish up and then, you
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  know, you've all done really well.
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  I mean, no. I didn't expect this tonight.
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  Honestly. I think I I really appreciate it
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  all, Shannon. Yeah, yeah.
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  But look, yeah, I I it's give it's giving me a new life.
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  I'm I'm not that foul mouth that that extruder that you know that
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  I'm. I'm not that person I was when I
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  was drinking, you know? Yeah, I'm, I'm quiet.
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  You know when I was giving me, you know, I lost.
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  I lost my job after 33 years of stealing, you know, because in
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  my, my first year, my first year it was, it didn't get.
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  I feel like my I was getting worse.
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  I was getting worse, you know, I said I wasn't, wasn't giving me
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  money or I was just fighting for my car, you know?
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  I had no no idea what to, what to expect, you know?
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  I just kept coming to meetings and it's just yeah just just
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  surrounded by so much love it and and and you know people get
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  me people understand me and then yeah yeah it's it's I I found my
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  tribe I found my tribe people like me when you know with that
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  you know that that the thing that that that sits in the mind
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  is that thinking it's it's between the head and.
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  And you know I feel I feel like it's relieved and and I'm
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  grateful that I'm that I'm an alcoholic and I and I know
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  what's wrong with me. And I come to these rooms to
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  treat my alcoholism and and to learning, learning to live,
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  learning to live on the outside and and and living, you know
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  with this between my head and and my feelings and.
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  Well, if if she wants the chef, not.
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  There's no. No, no.
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  That's all like you. Just don't Jennifer.
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  My name is Sharon Y'all, an alcoholic.
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  You know, I'm very angry. I must.
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  Sit here in. July, That's three years.
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  Yeah, that's fantastic. Well, thank you.
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  Thank you. Thanks all of you for tonight.
• 17:31
  That's been fantastic. You've like done.
• 17:37
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem making.
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  I'll work it all out. We'll sort it all out and I'll
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  let you know when you're on and how it goes.
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  Thank you very much and it's for the summer trainer race.
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  Thank. You have a good night.
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  Bye, bye. We have local meetings for the
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  full week in the local area. Monday is Gala meeting at 8:00,
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  o'clock. Tuesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00
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  o'clock. Wednesday is Elizabeth E at 8:00
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  o'clock. Thursday is 2 Wells at 8:00
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  o'clock and Friday is Salisbury at 8:00 o'clock.
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  There's a meeting at Daveron Park at 12:00 o'clock and on
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  Sunday there's a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00 o'clock and
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  many of the maintenance in the area.
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  For details of your local maintenance please phone 13
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  under 222222. And once again, if anyone you
• 18:42
  know is struggling with alcohol issues, police call Alcoholics
• 18:45
  Anonymous on 13 under 222222 the website isaasa.org dot a U.