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Guard Your Circle: (S5) S26:E1 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well, hello there, everyone, and welcome to Inspirations
0:27
for Your Life.
0:27
It is so great to be with everyone
0:29
here today.
0:30
If this is your very first time joining
0:32
me, I want to take the opportunity to
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say welcome and thank you so much for
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joining me.
0:38
If you've been here one time, five times,
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10 times, 100 or more, I'd like to
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say not only thank you and welcome, but
0:46
of course, the words welcome back.
0:47
And Saturday marks a very special time with
0:50
Inspirations for Your Life because that's when we
0:51
start our week.
0:52
We start on Saturday and we end up
0:53
on Friday.
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And this is our brand new series for
0:58
the week on Inspirations for Your Life.
1:00
And the master topic, guys, for this week,
1:04
Saturday through Friday, is Protect Your Energy Like
1:07
It Builds Your Future, series five, show number
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26.
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The episode granular topic is Guard Your Circle,
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series five, show 26, episode one.
1:16
Not everyone deserves access to you.
1:19
Maybe they think they do or they manipulate
1:22
themselves to, but that's not fair to us.
1:25
So welcome, everyone, to the Inspirations for Your
1:28
Life show.
1:29
Feel free to go get yourself a snack,
1:30
a fruit, another beverage, or what have you.
1:33
Get back and don't forget to check out
1:34
BelieveMeAchieve.com after the show for all my
1:36
great content, short form, long time, real, et
1:40
cetera.
1:40
Who am I?
1:41
I'm John C.
1:42
Morley.
1:43
I'm a serial entrepreneur.
1:44
I'm an engineer, a marketing specialist, video producer,
1:48
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, passionate lifelong learner,
1:53
a graduate student at Montclair State University.
1:56
Yes, and so grateful now to be a
1:58
published author.
2:00
Welcome, everyone.
2:01
Today, on June 20, 2026, Saturday, we begin
2:05
with a new direction, not about doing more,
2:09
not about pushing harder, but about protecting what
2:15
already fuels everything we do.
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What is that?
2:19
Your energy.
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That's an interesting thing, right?
2:22
Your energy.
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The core message here is this.
2:27
Your energy is not random, guys.
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Nope, it's not.
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It is directional.
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It flows where access is granted.
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And once it flows, it does not return
2:39
the same way ever again.
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This is why your circle matters more than
2:44
your schedule, because the people closest to you
2:48
shape the pace, the tone, and direction of
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your entire future, not just today, not just
2:54
tomorrow, not just the week, the month, the
2:56
quarter, or even the year, but your entire
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future.
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Some important insights I want to share with
3:01
you today.
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Number one, not everyone deserves equal access to
3:05
your time.
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Access must be intentional, not automatic.
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And we have to be careful who we
3:11
give access to.
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Number two, energy leaks often come from the
3:15
wrong conversations.
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Words can drain more than the effort.
3:20
Number three, you don't need more people.
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No.
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You need better alignment.
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Quality reduces clarity.
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Alignment increases it.
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Most people don't think that.
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They think that if they have more, they're
3:36
going to have more.
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More is less when it comes to the
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circle of you.
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Number four, access to you should be earned,
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not assumed or presumed.
3:45
Your presence has value, and it's high time
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you start acting like it.
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Number five, protecting your mornings protects your entire
3:54
direction.
3:55
Early energy sets the tone for everything in
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your life.
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I think a lot of people, when they
4:01
hear, oh, I've always got five minutes.
4:03
Yes, you got five minutes, but five minutes,
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10 minutes, it kind of eats up your
4:07
time.
4:12
And that's something a lot of people don't
4:13
understand.
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They don't understand that.
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And I want to tell you that it's
4:19
important that you understand that one thing.
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And I'll tell you that's something that a
4:29
lot of people miss.
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Number six, silence is a natural filtering system.
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What remains when noise is removed is clarity.
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Number seven, not every invitation deserves acceptance.
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Saying no is a form of protection, because
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what no does to others is it allows
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us to say yes to ourselves.
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I think that's a very important thing.
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Sometimes people think they're being selfish or rude
4:56
by doing it.
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You're not.
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You're actually allowing yourself to grow.
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Number eight, your circle directly influences your next
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level.
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Environment shapes elevation.
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So I think we have to be conscious
5:10
of it and the people that are around
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us, because they make up the environment.
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Number nine, outgrowing people is a normal progression,
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not rejection.
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Growth changes proximity naturally.
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We don't have to force it.
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Sometimes we just grow out of connection with
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people.
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Nothing wrong with that.
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It happens.
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We basically grow apart, and it happens.
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Number 10, loyalty without growth becomes limitation.
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Stagnation disguised as loyalty is, well, very costly.
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Number 11, guys, choose people who build, not
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just entertain.
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See, contribution matters more than presence.
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There was a guy several weeks ago on
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LinkedIn that asked me, do I know any
5:58
tricks for parties to get people's attention?
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And I said, yes.
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But I said, really, you should just be
6:06
yourself and become genuinely interested in the other
6:10
person and let them become genuinely interested in
6:12
you.
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He comes back with a nasty comment saying,
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oh, John, that's not a trick.
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I said, exactly.
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Maybe you should try it.
6:20
You might actually get people that want to
6:22
get to know you instead of the false
6:24
you.
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But a lot of people are from this
6:27
false facade, either from their background or from
6:30
other, let's say, bad mentors around them.
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It could even be fellow peers that teach
6:36
them that some things are the right things
6:39
when really they're the wrong things.
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But life is about learning, right?
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It's about learning and growing.
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And when we grow, we find out something
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very interesting.
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You know what that is?
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It's the fact that we can change, right?
6:57
We can change whatever we want to change,
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OK?
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We can change who we want to change.
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But we have to be intentional about that
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change.
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It's not about drama, right?
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So drama consumes energy faster than effort.
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Emotional chaos is expensive.
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Why do we keep eliciting chaos?
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We don't do it intentionally.
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We do it because, well, we're confused.
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Because we don't understand what side of the
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coin is up.
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Is it heads or is it tails?
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I don't know.
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And so drama becomes the output of that
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because of our frustration.
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That's the real truth.
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It happens because of frustration.
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Because it's like that panic button that people
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press.
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Do they want to press that button?
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No, but they press it anyway.
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And they think that that's the way, but
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it's not the way.
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It's just something that a lot of people
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don't understand.
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And by not understanding it, I mean people
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don't get it.
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They go for the reason that they think
8:12
is right, but it's not, OK?
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And they're doing this because they think they're
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going to make a big impact.
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But really what they make is more chaos,
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right?
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When we try to get somebody's attention with
8:33
a false motive, we may get their attention
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short term.
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But then we're going to lose it as
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we move down.
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Number 13, guys, peace.
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See, peace is not passive, although most people
8:46
think it is.
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It is strategic calmness.
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And it's a performance advantage.
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It doesn't take a lot of energy to
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be peaceful, to be calm.
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But some people feel that, well, it's not
9:03
going to get anything done.
9:04
It's not action getting.
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Sometimes peace, guys, will get more action done
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than any other thing you do.
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When people see that you can step back,
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it changes things.
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I think that's a very important thing.
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And we know why people connect for, you
9:32
know, you think it's about peace and calmness.
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But when they see peace and calmness, they
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move away because these people are hardwired to
9:41
be on aggressive behavior.
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They think that it's about control, that it's
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about, you know, I'm the one that's in
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charge.
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I don't want to give anybody else charge.
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That's a wrong kind of attitude.
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But yet I see dozens, more than dozens
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of people doing this every day.
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Okay, it's about that.
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And when you're calm, things change.
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Okay, they change.
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It's calm.
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It's very peaceful.
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And it's about us knowing that we have
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choices in our life.
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Not because they're shoved down our throat, but
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because we get the choice to choose.
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When we have choices, things change.
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That's important.
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I think sometimes people, you know, they look
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for the aggressiveness, okay?
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But the aggressiveness is not something that most
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people think about, right?
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They think about how life changes and how
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the world is always evolving.
11:16
But is it a world that people want
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to be in?
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Or is it a world that I'm going
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to say changes?
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It changes with thoughts, okay?
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It changes with emotions, all right?
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But it changes with our choices that we
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choose to make.
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Number 14, you don't need permission to evolve.
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Growth does not require approval from your neighbor
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or even your friend or significant other.
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Growth requires you.
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Growth requires you, requires you.
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That's important.
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Okay?
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I think that's an important thing.
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Maybe it's about a choice that you don't
12:11
want to make.
12:13
And the reason you don't want to make
12:14
is because other people are telling you you
12:16
shouldn't make the choice.
12:17
But don't you dare let someone else prevent
12:20
you from evolving and becoming a better version
12:23
of yourself, right?
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Don't allow that, okay?
12:32
Don't allow that.
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Because when you allow that, things change.
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They change.
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Again, not because you're expecting them to change,
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but because of, well, the situation that's at
12:52
heart.
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And I think a lot of people, they
12:55
go one way because of, again, the moment.
13:01
Because of emotions.
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Not because it's the right thing.
13:07
So emotions are great, but sometimes we have
13:09
to make a decision not based on emotions,
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right?
13:12
We have to make a decision.
13:19
You have to make a decision.
13:22
And we have to make a decision, again,
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not for emotions only.
13:25
Because when we do emotions only, we act
13:33
without a real reason.
13:36
We act on emotions, but they're not based
13:39
on things that are logical.
13:40
And then we're going to be unhappy.
13:43
Number 15, guys, distance creates emotional clarity.
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Separation reveals the truth.
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We don't always want separation, but I can
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tell you separation allows us to think, right?
13:55
It allows us to think about who we
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are, what we're doing.
14:01
And that makes a big difference, guys.
14:04
Because if we can just ponder for a
14:06
moment, okay?
14:09
If we can ponder for a moment and
14:10
we can see what's happening and why things
14:12
are happening, life can change.
14:20
I'll tell you that most people gravitate towards
14:25
something they don't want because of what the
14:28
Jones are doing.
14:29
Because of what the whatever you name it,
14:33
right?
14:33
The Wagners are doing.
14:35
Common names.
14:38
And they do it not wanting to do
14:40
it.
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It's kind of a peer pressure.
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So peer pressure doesn't just exist as adolescence.
14:47
Kids and teens, it happens in adults too.
14:50
So as we get older, we need to
14:53
pay attention to these things so they don't
14:55
rob us of the pure love and victory
14:57
our life can really have.
15:00
Number 16, overexposure weakens your momentum.
15:04
Not everything should be shared widely.
15:07
And there are things that are private to
15:10
you, right?
15:12
There are things that are for your own
15:14
moments.
15:15
They're not to be billboarded.
15:17
They're to be just expressed with those close
15:23
in your inner circle.
15:24
So guarding your inner circle is very, very
15:27
important.
15:28
Because if we just allow that circle to
15:30
be open for everyone, those people could potentially
15:34
harm us.
15:36
We're usually very vulnerable to our inner circle.
15:39
We don't want to do that to other
15:40
people because we don't really trust those people.
15:42
Number 17, private growth builds stronger foundations.
15:46
And then the public validation visibility is not
15:50
progress.
15:51
It's hurt.
15:53
It's discomfort.
15:54
And this isn't the discomfort that I'd say
15:56
you need to have to get successful.
15:57
This is the discomfort that you get that
16:01
marks you for life.
16:02
The kind that can stop your dreams full
16:06
force immediately.
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Number 18, people reveal their patterns and small
16:13
behaviors.
16:14
Consistency exposes character.
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It does.
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It's not a one-time thing.
16:20
Number 19, those who gossip about others will
16:24
eventually gossip about you.
16:27
You might say, oh, gee, he's never going
16:28
to gossip about me.
16:29
We're friends.
16:29
Don't bet on it.
16:32
Patterns do not discriminate.
16:33
You see, when that person runs out of
16:35
stories to tell, well, you're a story and
16:38
you're next in queue.
16:39
So I guess your story is going to
16:41
be told.
16:42
The sad thing is it's going to probably
16:43
break up the friendship and create some heartfelt
16:51
feelings.
16:55
But that's what gossipers do.
16:57
Number 20, guys, energy is a form of
17:00
currency.
17:01
Where it goes determines return, right?
17:05
Whatever we put our thoughts on, that's where
17:12
the energy is going to go.
17:13
That's where it's going to go.
17:17
That's an important piece.
17:28
That's important to understand.
17:33
Very, very important to understand.
17:39
And I'll tell you, that's a problem.
17:44
Number 21, you teach people how to treat
17:48
you through access boundaries.
17:52
Define the behavior.
17:54
Now, the thing is, you might think that
17:57
creating these boundaries is rude, is egotistical.
18:01
It's not.
18:02
It's a way of protecting your own interests.
18:09
Yeah, it's a way to protect your interest.
18:16
You could do that.
18:22
That's important.
18:30
And I'll tell you that a lot of
18:32
people that run into this challenge blame themselves.
18:39
They don't understand that they got manipulated into
18:42
this position.
18:45
Now, I'm going to say something else I've
18:46
said many times before.
18:47
No one, no one, no one, no one,
18:49
no one, no one, no one, no one.
18:50
Oh, by the way, no one has the
18:53
right to make you feel inferior about yourself
18:54
or have you do anything you do not
18:56
want to do without your permission.
18:59
Number 22, everyone belongs in your inner circle.
19:04
Proximity must be selective.
19:06
That's the game.
19:07
Everyone does not belong in your inner circle.
19:09
But being kind doesn't mean everyone gets to
19:11
be in your inner circle.
19:12
That doesn't mean everyone gets access to you.
19:14
Doesn't mean everybody gets your cell phone number.
19:19
Number 23, mental bandwidth is more valuable than
19:22
time.
19:23
Attention is your real limit.
19:28
Are you aware of these bottlenecks or do
19:31
you wait until they hit you and say,
19:32
oh, wow, I didn't see that coming.
19:37
But if we could be proactive, then we
19:44
could avoid this.
19:51
We could be proactive.
19:54
And that proactiveness is a way that we
19:59
can safeguard ourselves.
20:03
It's protection, right?
20:09
People out there will be at different journeys
20:11
of their life just like you are.
20:15
I don't think that because somebody's there, you
20:20
have to jump in.
20:21
Because if you don't, well, you know, I'm
20:25
younger than you and you should be able
20:27
to do that, they'll say.
20:28
That's not an excuse.
20:31
That's a childhood manipulation trick.
20:36
Number 24, being available to everyone creates instability.
20:42
Selective availability creates control.
20:44
It's not an ego thing.
20:47
Number 25, emotional exhaustion often comes from misplaced
20:52
trust.
20:53
See, trust must be filtered, okay?
20:57
It's not like a hose you turn on
20:59
and you just let it go everywhere.
21:01
No.
21:02
Number 26, your environment either strengthens or weakens
21:05
discipline.
21:07
Surroundings influence consistency.
21:09
We have to remember that.
21:10
If we remember that, then we'll know something.
21:12
Then we will also feel more calm.
21:15
We'll feel more in control.
21:20
When we're in chaos, we're like trying to
21:24
figure out how to get off this moving
21:26
merry-go-round, right?
21:29
I think that's important to know.
21:32
Number 27, protecting energy protects future opportunities.
21:37
Drainage today limits tomorrow.
21:40
So I'm saying to you, you need to
21:42
be proactive, guys.
21:44
Not just today, but every day.
21:48
In fact, you start being proactive now for
21:49
the future.
21:51
We talked about it with fire drills, right?
21:53
You don't want to plan for a fire
21:55
when there is a fire.
21:56
You want to be ready for the fire
21:58
before the fire, and hopefully the fire never
21:59
comes.
22:02
Yeah.
22:04
Number 28, people who drain you rarely notice
22:08
the cost.
22:10
They don't.
22:11
Impact is often invisible to them.
22:14
They feel you're just being kind.
22:17
But are you in the beginning stages of
22:20
burning out?
22:22
I don't know.
22:22
How often do you do it?
22:25
Number 29, boundaries, ladies and gentlemen, are not
22:28
rejection.
22:29
Nope.
22:31
They are structure.
22:33
And structure creates a stability, okay?
22:36
Your future depends on what you stop allowing.
22:42
Protection determines progression, number 30.
22:46
And I'm not going to tell you that
22:47
any of these things are easy, because they're
22:51
not.
22:52
They're about you making a choice based on
22:56
a few things.
22:57
Do you make it only on feelings and
22:59
emotions?
23:00
No.
23:03
You have to look at the situation logically,
23:05
not just emotionally.
23:09
I think that's an important piece that many
23:11
people, I just don't think they get it.
23:16
And when someone makes this decision, let's say
23:21
logically, it might hurt emotionally, but it's going
23:27
to protect you emotionally.
23:35
That's a hard thing for a lot of
23:37
people to grasp.
23:40
They think that if I feel good, then
23:42
it must be the right decision.
23:44
Not necessarily.
23:45
Sorry to tell you that, but that is
23:47
the way it goes, right?
23:51
And I think if we realize that our
23:53
decisions have to come from that, it might
23:55
be easier for us.
23:56
It might be easier.
23:59
Again, remember what I said about access.
24:03
Limit your access.
24:05
Give somebody a little access to you.
24:06
See how they respond.
24:08
See how they treat you.
24:10
See what kind of access they give you
24:12
to them.
24:15
Make it a little test.
24:16
If it's not good, cut back the access.
24:19
If it's good, maybe you'll give a little
24:21
more.
24:21
That's totally up to you.
24:23
You don't have to keep the access at
24:25
the same level all the time, right?
24:30
So, guys, in closing, here is the truth
24:34
as I wrap this episode up here today.
24:38
We went through a lot of important points.
24:42
We talked about emotions.
24:44
We talked about logical thinking.
24:47
We talked about some boundaries.
24:50
We talked about how people can use boundaries
24:54
as a manipulation tactic.
24:57
To get you to do what they want.
25:00
Those aren't friends.
25:02
Those are manipulators.
25:06
And we don't always figure it out right
25:08
away until we're either burnt out or hurt.
25:13
Which is sad.
25:14
Your energy is not just something you spend.
25:26
Your energy takes time, doesn't it?
25:29
It's something that you continue to build with
25:35
your life.
25:38
You build it with your life every day.
25:40
When you're with great people that recharge you,
25:44
you feel like you have tons of energy.
25:45
When you're around people that drain your energy,
25:47
you're like, oh my gosh, I don't want
25:48
to hang around with those people anymore.
25:51
Even just the thought of being with them
25:53
just, like, drains me.
25:55
That's a good sign that they're probably draining
25:58
your energy.
26:03
And some people will be like that, whether
26:05
you like it or not.
26:07
The important thing is to recognize it.
26:09
And when you can recognize it, that's when
26:13
you're starting to protect yourself.
26:22
That's when you start to protect yourself.
26:28
If you protect yourself now, then you won't
26:32
be hurt later.
26:36
But many people do things impulsively.
26:44
And they do it impulsively because they're making
26:48
the decision on what?
26:51
They're making it on emotion.
26:55
They're not looking at the logic, right?
27:01
They're making it strictly on emotion.
27:04
That's important to understand.
27:09
Very important to understand that whole concept.
27:12
And every person in your circle either strengthens
27:17
that foundation or slowly withers it away.
27:21
You do not need to be everywhere.
27:24
You do not need to be available to
27:26
everyone.
27:27
You need to be protected enough to grow.
27:32
Hey, guys, I'm John C.
27:34
Morley.
27:34
This has been Inspirations for Your Life.
27:37
And this is where protection becomes power.
27:44
Start protecting your circle.
27:46
Because if you don't, no one else will.
27:50
I look forward to seeing you on another
27:51
episode.
27:52
But be sure to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com
27:54
for more of my amazing, inspiring creations.
27:57
Be well, everyone.