Latest / Bug Hive with Benny Feldman / Dorian DeBose, Meredith Dietz, Tatiana Frank, Adam Gilbert

Transcript

Dorian DeBose, Meredith Dietz, Tatiana Frank, Adam Gilbert · Bug Hive with Benny Feldman

0:00
what's up dogs what's up what the
0:04
[ __ ] did it feel good the second time
0:07
yeah I kind of knew it would be
0:10
good welcome to my sick twisted
0:13
experiment where I'm just having a
0:15
multiple people on the podcast yeah at
0:17
the same time also got some arts and
0:19
crafts out yeah this is very exciting to
0:21
me awesome there's a helicopter going up
0:23
right at the start of the pot a
0:25
helicopter but that's okay what do you
0:26
call these this pipe cleaners pipe
0:27
cleaners dude do people use these to
0:29
like clean you know like that's a great
0:31
question I think I'm not the I think the
0:32
colorful ones are like uh like the the
0:35
ones that aren't colorful yes but then
0:37
these they were like oh these are good
0:39
for crafts yeah they've been like
0:40
adapted into something beautiful thank
0:42
you for mansplaining pipe cleaners to me
0:45
mansplaining is over as tati and I were
0:47
explained to
0:53
earlier how do we do crafts and hold a
0:55
microphone that's a good question a
0:57
could put a crayon here I think I
0:58
normally had the
1:01
when I was doing like one uh person at a
1:03
time I had like mic
1:05
stands but I like just didn't use those
1:07
for this cuz I was like oh we can just
1:09
hold them I don't know what this says
1:10
about like maybe past experiences with
1:12
like childhood therapy or something I
1:13
really feel like I'm about to be tricked
1:15
into revealing something do you know
1:17
what I'm saying something about the
1:18
crafts is actually doing the opposite
1:20
effect and making me on edge and I'm
1:21
like Benny's going to ask me a deep
1:22
question there's like a there's like
1:24
like hot ones or something or Ro Shack
1:26
yeah yes something something I'm about
1:28
to be tricked hot ones for the
1:32
rush you think OJ would have did it on
1:35
hot that that Wing that Wing tastes like
1:37
my mother
1:38
is you're saying do you think OJ would
1:41
have admitted that he did it on hot
1:43
ones if they if they asked him you think
1:46
OJ did it like that's like the that's
1:48
the last dab question I don't think he
1:51
did it what I think his son did it wait
1:55
no Benny said no
1:58
gossiping we got talk about this I don't
2:01
want to break the no gossip rule I think
2:02
OJ Simpson's a
2:04
murder you would think that white boy
2:07
you did I would wait it's a podcast we
2:10
don't have to have our races right or
2:12
else I said some troubling things on
2:14
podcast in the
2:15
past I thought it was I the one hand
2:18
thing is immediately making me go like
2:20
oh [ __ ] so I guess it's like all right
2:22
if anyone wants to do some crafts uh
2:25
partner everybody team up everybody team
2:27
up a are you left-handed no
2:30
you you but you feel like you should be
2:32
right like you would be
2:34
leftand Benny is so left every man I've
2:37
ever loved has been left-handed so Benny
2:38
that's why she doesn't love you it's not
2:40
happening it's giving left-handed I'm
2:43
very good left-handed people are C very
2:46
good
2:47
it'si serving left serving leftand based
2:51
on what is it based on what based on
2:52
what left-handed people are creative
2:54
test what science Eugenics yeah
2:57
Eugenics SK studies we should kill all
3:00
right-handed people yeah that's kind of
3:03
that would be kind of a cute Nazi
3:05
experiment and lefties how many fascists
3:08
have been left cute Nazi that's
3:10
redundant yeah feel feel free to not
3:12
engage the Arts and Crafts element
3:14
because I did not think about the fact
3:17
that we don't I did have an abandoned
3:19
joke I don't know if we do that on this
3:21
podcast but it was like when someone's
3:22
riding with their left hand I'm like oh
3:24
so your parents didn't hit you yeah like
3:27
cuz that wouldn't fly in my house left
3:29
hand wouldn't fly in your house Jesus
3:31
Christ okay that's why it doesn't
3:33
Catholic or something it no we can drop
3:35
it no wait I'm to me that's funny but no
3:38
well my dad's Russian no that that makes
3:41
like Orthodox Catholic Russian or
3:43
something wait that no I'm Jewish oh
3:45
that's right I [ __ ] do that yeah
3:48
which being Jewish is kind of like the
3:50
left-handed of society uh I I feel like
3:54
that's the same sentiment as woman is
3:55
the [ __ ] of the
3:57
world I don't know if I fully Endor it
4:03
I told you that as I was burning my pink
4:05
[ __ ]
4:08
hat you said Romans are the n-word of
4:11
the what did you say women oh Romans
4:14
Romans like from the Roman anti- Italian
4:16
Italians on the N word of the
4:18
world yeah don't they say that about the
4:21
Irish or something or the Italian I do I
4:23
think there's at different times that
4:25
everyone's been called that in different
4:27
ways you know yeah like called me the of
4:29
the world today but I meant it as a
4:31
compliment I was like of the whole
4:35
world I didn't say that I'll be so kind
4:38
Meredith actually didn't say that I
4:39
didn't say that yet abundance
4:43
mindset I can say it any time I'm like
4:46
no no no no see I am going to draw and
4:49
that I can do with one hand o okay yeah
4:51
if anybody and I'll take request we also
4:54
I've got paper I heard an eye okay I do
4:56
it draw an eye colorful paper like
5:00
also have
5:01
eyes can you draw a photo realistic
5:03
human eye yeah that's all I can it's I
5:06
don't know photo realistic is the
5:08
veins Vey eye vein I can draw girthy eye
5:12
for sure ey real throbbing eye you guys
5:15
do bathroom GTI at all what's up do you
5:17
ever draw in a bathroom stall no I
5:19
probably should have though when I was
5:20
younger you know oh yeah a good memory I
5:23
used I used to write I used to write on
5:25
the toilet you write on the toilet like
5:27
like cuz I thought nobody everybody
5:28
would write on the wall
5:30
so I thought it was funny to like
5:31
actually write
5:33
you that is very
5:35
left-handed I would do it with my left
5:37
hand CU that's how I write but I'm not
5:38
left-handed wait what what would you
5:40
write what you like nice dick or
5:42
something like that like on a Jal or
5:46
something I could use the
5:48
encouragement yeah that I think I'm such
5:50
a shy peer the idea of wasting any more
5:53
so much of my time in the bathroom is me
5:55
like plugging my ears being like no one
5:57
can hear you no one can hear you p and
5:59
then um the I couldn't waste any more
6:02
time in their drawing everyone would be
6:03
like what the hell is she doing you you
6:05
plugging your ears why you piss
6:06
basically every time I'm in public
6:07
restroom I'm like I I it is getting to
6:10
the point where it was like funny for a
6:11
while and now I'm like I think I have a
6:12
phobia like I really can't pee in public
6:15
weird look at she's the one that started
6:17
doing the crafts and here it comes
6:20
out something that's nice we some I mean
6:24
you I remember when we used to work out
6:25
you were telling me that like you'd like
6:27
uh like really dislike anything
6:29
scatological so I think this is like
6:31
hitting on something yes I don't I do
6:33
not look at my own
6:35
poop how do you know if there's blood in
6:37
it I think I would feel that you would
6:41
think I think if there's blood in my
6:43
poop it's my time and no one else no one
6:45
saw coming not even
6:47
me do do you check to see if you like
6:49
wipe
6:50
enough that yes I do well here's the
6:53
thing I just wiped so much like beyond a
6:55
shadow of a doubt beyond a shadow of a
6:58
doubt I'm like I don't need to check I'm
7:00
just going
7:01
crazy are we are we bedet people we wet
7:04
white people dude I love we got a bedet
7:06
here one of the best inventions in the
7:08
world Dude Love It yall when y'all to
7:10
somebody else's house to use they but
7:12
day I don't it feels too intimate really
7:14
absolutely do know I feel like somehow
7:16
the water has touched their butthole
7:18
even though I feel like I know them too
7:20
well I feel the water touches their
7:22
butthole and then some of it comes back
7:23
into the spout yeah but I'll do the I'll
7:25
do the kind like when you drink a water
7:27
feel like oh this has touched other
7:28
people's mouths for sure I'm going to I
7:31
didn't [ __ ] oh for sure I just want the
7:34
but you dry off after I have a pleasure
7:36
focused approach to it but day I really
7:39
I'm using it no matter what can I tell
7:42
you something crazy I'm going to reveal
7:43
something nobody's going to like this
7:45
everybody's going to hate this you know
7:46
how public restrooms don't have uh bedet
7:50
I will get like a paper towel or like
7:52
some of the toilet paper like wet from
7:54
either the sink or did do the toilet oh
7:59
all I'll flush it I'll get some clean
8:01
water I'll that on my that's very much I
8:04
use every part of the animal every part
8:05
of the every part of the Buffalo D the
8:07
toilet water no that's the best part
8:09
about a single stall with the sink in
8:10
the dud yes yes why they put that's
8:13
actually a healthy don't do it in the
8:16
toilet I put can I put you on some game
8:19
wait once your buy these things called
8:21
wet
8:22
wipes they're like not I I should they
8:25
never you walk around with them you walk
8:27
around them they stay open and then they
8:28
dry out they're bad for the plumbing
8:31
they're bad for the plumbing but if
8:32
you're in a public restroom I don't give
8:33
a [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is Starbuck going
8:35
to do to me beat my ass I [ __ ] wish
8:37
you would the boycott still
8:40
on that be so to have such a bad [ __ ] in
8:44
a bubble restroom that a Starbucks
8:45
barista comes and beats the [ __ ] out of
8:47
you being like why you're just the straw
8:50
that broke that like blew their back out
8:52
or whatever I don't think I
8:54
don't you ever get your back blown up by
8:56
a
8:58
straw that that feels like a Richard
9:00
prior premise man you have your back BL
9:04
out by a straw oh my God your your
9:07
Richard prior combined with your Jerry
9:08
Seinfeld impression is killing me
9:11
today that's my Richard PR he's always
9:14
so
9:21
scared
9:24
out turns it down by accident
9:30
what's your
9:32
Seinfeld everyone I think this is a
9:34
thing everyone who made the Cat come
9:37
in I'm open the door so the Cat come in
9:39
the deal with me you know the best is
9:43
Gilbert Godfrey is the best Jerry that's
9:45
where it all came from everybody's Jerry
9:46
Seinfeld came from what does he do the
9:48
what's the deal that that's that is
9:51
gilber
9:52
Godfrey on Howard Stern and he used to
9:54
leave in voicemails like hey who
9:56
invented the radio
10:00
people don't like to hear this one but
10:01
you know how everyone's like does the
10:02
Oprah thing like you got a house and you
10:04
got a that's Dane Cook yeah oh I love
10:08
knowing that that rock that's that's
10:11
funny he's got a new special out by the
10:12
way oh let's put it on SE I was I watch
10:16
the first 10 minutes off let's watch it
10:19
and film
10:20
watch house was the first 10 minutes no
10:23
no it's it opens with like how rich he
10:25
is and how nice his house is or
10:26
something it's like it's like very out
10:27
of touch I mean like Kevin had that one
10:30
special that was filmed in his house and
10:31
it is good and that one was tasteful you
10:33
like that one I didn't I really really
10:35
like I feel like I thought it was the
10:37
underpinning premise of it all is that
10:39
he's very insecure and it that all comes
10:43
across without him saying it huh like I
10:46
think that the entire I don't care that
10:48
he's insecure he has so much money like
10:50
I understand I'm of not in on the
10:52
premise like of all the ways you can
10:54
possibly examine what it's like to be
10:55
truly truly like world shatteringly
10:58
famous I think displaying so blatantly
11:02
that you need to be loved is one of the
11:04
more interesting ways to do it yeah
11:06
you're right even like in his big grown
11:08
little man he's like LeBron James is
11:10
here God your impressions are awesome
11:13
there's LeBron
11:14
James okay yeah it is true it's sort of
11:18
like there you could be more humble what
11:20
I just I was just showing you love and
11:21
affection a I'm into physical touch
11:24
these days oh that's nice it's very
11:26
nice
11:28
the feed him and put him in I don't know
11:30
it's a love language thing a bunch of
11:32
hogwash oh absolutely but I like it as a
11:34
oh I bet you don't believe in astrology
11:36
either [ __ ] man the love langor thing
11:39
to say I think invented by like this
11:41
like [ __ ] guy want to say some to like
11:43
basically be like physical touch is a
11:45
love language so I'm allowed to touch
11:47
you whenever I want it was basically it
11:49
was a I mean all yeah it's it's
11:51
obviously Soto science stuff but I'm
11:53
also
11:54
like I just liked it as a framework to
11:56
be like yeah I think it's funny to be
11:58
like I do have Love Languages other
12:00
people yeah I I think that there's like
12:02
it is like you don't have like a love
12:04
language but you can decide how you like
12:05
to receive love yeah it's like I don't
12:07
need to believe in astrology to be like
12:09
oh it's kind of fun to talk about
12:10
personality traits I like IMDb Not IMDb
12:18
going myself what kind ofb are you I
12:22
like to say My love language is French
12:24
mon
12:26
Mo that's I said
12:29
tongue
12:30
yeah my tongue what are we talking My
12:33
love language is tongue
12:35
oh yeah that's got that's a triple on
12:38
Tong I love the idea French kissing is
12:40
so funny your first kiss tongue or no
12:42
tongue what's up remember too much first
12:45
kiss tongue or no tongue too wait I
12:47
cannot remember the guy who I had my
12:49
first kiss with I you remember the
12:51
tongue I remember his tongue and how
12:53
much of it I remember he was small and I
12:56
was very big no I remember he was a
12:59
I giant tongue my tongue's ginormous he
13:03
used too much tongue too much his
13:08
tongue I tell people all the time his
13:10
tongue was Tiny what was your first kiss
13:13
yeah I I I was like oh I use tongue like
13:17
I was letting him know I've never kissed
13:19
before that's so funny I was such a Los
13:22
how old were you like 13 or 14 oh you
13:25
were not loser and I had braces wait how
13:27
old were y'all when we had our first I'm
13:29
going I'm going to plead the fifth on
13:31
that one I we would the same it's
13:33
happening here it's happening later
13:34
tonight Adam I was like doing full scale
13:37
horeshit before I got my first kiss you
13:40
already tell me that what do you mean by
13:42
that huh yeah I was like I think I had
13:44
my first kiss when I was like 22 so like
13:46
some pretty woman rules type [ __ ] not
13:49
even I was just a lot of a lot I don't I
13:51
was hooking up with a lot of gay men
13:53
anonymously and they're they're like
13:54
don't kiss me that's what my wife does
13:56
yeah that's pretty woman oh wow that's
13:58
pretty women wow Pretty Woman the movie
14:00
with with Julia Roberts you guys don't
14:02
know this classic I actually never seen
14:05
it she's Big M she's a hooker she has a
14:08
lot of gay sex and they don't I've seen
14:10
I've seen all the gay sex scenes of
14:12
Pretty Woman I'll tell you that much
14:14
she's a hooker but her one rule
14:17
ised you guys should know this it's
14:19
important cultural reference your fans
14:21
will be glad I brought this
14:24
up that's true big pretty woman crowd uh
14:28
Benny's f
14:29
we we got really far into the being the
14:32
being a weird gay [ __ ] before I was
14:33
like yeah maybe I should be yeah
14:36
intimate the eyes did went to my mom's
14:38
High School reunion when I was like 8
14:40
years old it was like her like I don't
14:42
forget what year but uh there's like
14:44
another girl there my age and we' played
14:46
some sort of like tag or something no no
14:49
no not not to
14:51
back boys draw
14:54
anything within the context of playing
14:56
tag or something yeah as an excuse
14:59
uh when I got tongue tag yeah maybe like
15:02
maybe like man hunt or something group
15:04
love s she she held me down she held me
15:06
down on the floor and kissed me oh my
15:08
God uh and I uh thought it was for an
15:11
8-year-old I was like waa this is
15:13
awesome don't know what this is but this
15:14
is hot like
15:16
this
15:18
know are you affected by that now yes
15:22
wow I've been trying to recreate it ever
15:24
since I I love getting chased around a
15:28
barn 8year
15:31
olds like a reverse pedophile that's
15:34
right that's right I like come to
15:37
me I don't have a type A type has
15:41
me on the playground yooo
15:45
boy I've got a van and I sell expensive
15:47
candy and I drive away when they come
15:50
near it is expensive it's only rich kids
15:55
it's that's so funny yeah that's deep in
15:58
my psyche what I was thinking it is
15:59
funny when something like that is
16:00
formative where like you're eight and
16:02
you're being pinned down and you're like
16:03
well I'm going to put this in my back
16:05
pocket this is going to come up
16:07
later in kindergarten I tried to kiss a
16:10
boy but he ran away and everyone made
16:12
fun of me forever for and he recently
16:15
followed me on instagam oh hell yeah is
16:18
he trying to get his lick back I don't
16:20
know like I didn't even look too deeply
16:22
into it I I don't know what he's up to
16:25
but you're never wrong just early
16:27
Tatiana
16:30
going back it did a lot of damage I I I
16:34
hope we do meet up and reconnect so I
16:36
can beat his ass I'm just
16:39
kidding
16:41
I send it to to everyone from that
16:44
school do you think if you were on mic
16:45
and like crushing and then just like
16:47
told the crowd to beat the [ __ ] out of
16:48
one guy they would listen to you yeah do
16:51
you think I have like Selena Gomez
16:54
type and he's here right now beat the
16:57
[ __ ] out of this guy do you think like a
16:58
bunch fans would just be like wait like
17:01
Mom like yeah let's beat the [ __ ] I
17:03
think of myself as having literal
17:05
fans I mean I know you're kid I'm sure
17:07
you do I'm sure there's somebody out
17:09
there is like ta to Frank com it's funny
17:11
I I always talk to another female comic
17:13
I know we're not go but she was just
17:14
like talking about all her stalkers and
17:16
she and I was like wow that must be so
17:17
tough and then she was like oh my God
17:18
sorry I've been talking so much like
17:20
what are your stalkers like no what I
17:23
was like I don't have any and she was
17:25
like oh okay no I mean like that's
17:27
totally cool like May is good wait as
17:30
then like a oh you you'll get them oh my
17:33
God that you have stalkers is just
17:35
they're really chill about like from the
17:38
distance I just found this thing cuz I
17:41
thought I wasn't getting like DMS from
17:44
people and I was like oh people are
17:46
really chill appar but I found the
17:48
hidden requests on Instagram and I I
17:51
didn't know it was automatically hiding
17:52
stuff um a lot of people being like you
17:56
remind be a Mitch Hedberg oh just like
17:58
whatever like really Harless really
18:00
really harmless stuff but like kind of
18:02
con like a lot of like kind of oh so you
18:03
don't have any stalkers oh you remind me
18:05
one of the best
18:08
Comics you know you know that's what
18:11
that's not what I meant W they call me a
18:12
modern day philosopher why are they
18:14
doing this that's you know that's not
18:15
what I meant to say people being like
18:17
hello I like this joke or whatever um
18:20
that's lovely but uh but it's like reply
18:22
guys it's rep it's a lot of reply guys
18:24
it's not as many like people being like
18:26
I will find you you know what I mean do
18:29
you check the hidden requests and
18:30
they're not you're not getting the I'm
18:31
checking out I'm surprised that you
18:33
don't have people trying to kill you
18:36
really you're
18:38
beautiful no like you like look like
18:41
prey Tatiana you would look so great on
18:43
a mantle I'm really I actually am
18:46
surprised well just because I feel like
18:48
I'm also always talking to women in
18:50
comedy where it's happening all the time
18:52
soccer I have had reply guys show up
18:55
places and yes I would want to show of
18:57
yours that you had a guy who been to a
18:59
few of your shows show up what show off
19:02
menu like a month or two ago and there
19:04
was a guy there not I don't think he was
19:06
creepy but he had been to a few of your
19:07
shows ye that I think I know who you're
19:09
talking about if it's the person I'm
19:11
thinking and that's he's nice he's good
19:14
he's just and he also loves the our
19:15
co-hosts and like is nice to all of us
19:17
equally but he did come through seeing
19:20
something on my Instagram I had I've had
19:22
reply guys show up and they were like uh
19:27
it's just like I want to buy you a drink
19:29
and then afterwards they DM and they're
19:30
like I was at the show I wanted to buy
19:32
you a drink and I got nervous and I saw
19:33
one then I saw him at a second location
19:35
and he came up to me and he goes He I
19:38
know what word he used he used it so
19:39
wrong he comes up to me and he goes this
19:41
was
19:42
Kismet I was like I don't think it was I
19:46
think you're following
19:47
me I don't think this is Serendipity at
19:49
all I think I posted a story saying I
19:51
was going to be here and you showed
19:53
up but um it it's like I found the link
19:56
in your bio it's kiss that's I was like
20:00
I follow you so crazy I have a friend
20:04
who and we're won't name names but uh
20:06
comic and I think she is very talented
20:09
and unfortunately very beautiful so men
20:11
say what they want to say to her which I
20:12
assumed happened to you she got an email
20:14
being like you should be an actress but
20:17
your stand up's not it I think you're so
20:19
beautiful and so talented quit stand up
20:21
start acting an email from just like a
20:24
random woman how did they get their
20:26
email I bet she has it on one of profile
20:29
somewhere that's like a longdistance
20:32
mansplaining I don't know that is more
20:34
way more that's real deal way yeah but
20:37
it is hating that's not not a DM cuz
20:39
you're like you're going to you're going
20:40
to look past a DM an email you're going
20:42
to feel this yeah it's just a good
20:45
segment of the population who's just
20:46
completely just
20:49
[ __ ] comedy is so specific that
20:52
everyone feels like they can do it and
20:54
they want to be a part of it and they
20:55
want to give you advice and they want to
20:56
feel like they're workshopping with you
20:58
yeah I mean cuz like it's a very it's
21:00
the only art form that you legitimately
21:02
need to be engaged with an audience to
21:04
do you can make music and just release
21:07
it and never actually have to interface
21:09
with the people we have to interface
21:11
with the people and because of that they
21:12
have to be part of the iterative process
21:14
yeah yeah you literally are doing it for
21:16
them to laugh so they actually kind of
21:18
have a point being like it is up to me
21:19
whether this is good or not their
21:22
feedback does in fact matter it's just
21:24
the format they give it in usually is
21:25
bad and it's also I would say the only
21:27
art form that's also a personality trait
21:29
that a lot of people Pride themselves in
21:31
so it's the sort of thing where people
21:32
don't see the gap between being funny
21:34
and doing comedy nobody admits not funny
21:37
yeah nobody thinks they're not funny
21:39
being a bad well no because I've spoken
21:41
to Benny about this and I don't know if
21:42
you've changed your opinion but you've
21:43
said to me I don't think I'm F you don't
21:45
think you're funny you think you just
21:47
learned how to write jokes and that
21:48
you're good at a skill yeah I I think
21:50
that it's like building a table or
21:52
something where it's like you don't
21:54
you're not born knowing how to make a
21:55
table but like if you grow up and your
21:56
family is always making tables you're
21:58
like you kind of pick it up you know
22:00
what I mean um I I think it's a I think
22:02
it's a set of ideas like dancing I think
22:04
you can have the instincts that make it
22:06
a lot easier like you can learn the
22:07
format you can learn like what works but
22:10
like if you don't like intuitively know
22:12
it it's like yeah it's like the
22:14
difference between like you like can
22:15
watch other people be like oh they're
22:16
putting on coats maybe I should put on a
22:18
coat or should you step outside and
22:19
you're like oh I need a coat like you I
22:21
feel like you can sense things you
22:23
realizing right now like I've always
22:25
thought like oh maybe it's a problem
22:26
with self-esteem that I'm like never
22:28
able to say say like oh I'm funny but I
22:30
think it really is like that's kind of
22:32
not for us to kind of Judge it needs to
22:35
be someone else like I'm never like I
22:36
need to chuckle I'm going to go watch
22:37
one of my jokes like it's just you know
22:40
being curious and like it's up to them
22:42
to decide if you're funny I feel like
22:44
whenever I write something new I like
22:46
get like a real giddiness and then after
22:49
like saying that new thing for a week it
22:51
disappears and now it's just for them
22:53
it's just playing yeah because when you
22:54
write it it makes that makes me laugh
22:56
I'm like looking at the thing and I'm
22:58
like that hilarious and then like I'm
23:00
saying it but how long does it take you
23:02
like do you ever give up on something
23:03
where you're like I know this is funny
23:05
but people aren't getting it how many
23:07
times are you going to tweak and try
23:08
something before you move on for me not
23:11
long if people aren't liking it i will
23:13
abandon it I uh which I think actually
23:16
something I should overcome and push
23:17
through more but I I'm a big like if
23:21
it's not working it's not working yeah I
23:23
I try to go like all right cuz if I
23:26
really like it then I go like why are
23:27
they not into it and it's like I want to
23:30
hear a joke that didn't work and I'll
23:31
tell you how I changed it yes yes I love
23:33
this okay so the idea is the original
23:36
joke that didn't work was uh I'm
23:39
Nantucket sober uh I don't drink except
23:42
for my penis which is so long that I can
23:44
suck
23:44
it I drink it ex so so the trouble is
23:49
people weren't getting that reference
23:52
which is fine um but ALS but doing the
23:55
like saying that I had like I have a the
23:58
if if you don't know the reference I'm
23:59
just saying that I have a long penis and
24:01
that's like true and there's
24:04
funny which is like a really
24:07
observational and vulnerable and
24:09
vulnerable it's very vulnerable to me
24:10
what's the de with my penis a
24:13
third penis of all time of all time so
24:18
the so the my penis is so
24:21
long oh is that how long how long is my
24:24
horrible that's that's every comic you
24:27
do Richard
24:29
prior you're like that was my Richard
24:31
prior is
24:32
Butters wait so how did you fix it okay
24:35
so I fixed by making it third person I
24:37
go uh my buddy is Nantucket sober uh he
24:42
doesn't drink except for his penis which
24:44
is so long that he can suck it so now
24:46
instead of like putting the high status
24:47
thing on myself I put it on some third
24:49
character you know what I mean and it's
24:51
just like Absolut I thought you were
24:53
going to say you move n Tucket and suck
24:54
it close to together cuz I've missed
24:56
that oh yeah so actually I'm not even
24:58
I'm not even sure that it entirely Works
25:01
still because I still don't think people
25:02
I still don't think move those two words
25:04
closer together because it's been so
25:05
long since I heard n Tucket that I
25:07
forgot about it I would say pointed out
25:09
like oh I missed that right right okay
25:11
okay so that's see that's good that's
25:13
good feedback and so it's like if a joke
25:14
doesn't work then it's like it might be
25:16
a reason that I'm like what the hell is
25:18
the you know what I mean I don't know
25:19
yeah Benny I'm saying move the limi up
25:21
top so now it's in their mind and then
25:23
when you say it they're primed to
25:24
recognize what you're doing yeah I think
25:26
that's true and I've been trying to
25:28
write like a different joke that just
25:29
has the limmerick in it so I can do it
25:31
before and then I can do it you know
25:32
what I mean uh and of course you have to
25:34
give the friend the long penis otherwise
25:38
otherwise otherwise it's a false premise
25:40
I have to get a friend I have to make
25:42
him stop drinking
25:43
except except for his long penis well I
25:46
think there is I know it's like a bad
25:48
form to land a joke on like something
25:50
someone else said like the punch rine
25:52
being something someone else said but I
25:53
will lie I will come up with a joke and
25:55
be like and then my friend said X but
25:57
it'll be the thing I said not lie about
25:59
what the thing is it'll be in a
26:01
situation like we were all doing a bit
26:03
or something and something funny
26:03
happened and I'll be like my friend said
26:05
this thing but I I was the one who said
26:07
it in the story wait so that actually
26:10
that makes me go like I I wish you it
26:12
depends on the thing because then I'm
26:13
like I might go like oh your friend said
26:15
that why are you selling a joke they
26:16
told I think because you can't do a
26:19
standup that's like I said a funny thing
26:21
one time yeah I have to be like my
26:22
friend said this ridiculous thing can
26:24
you say can you can you can you present
26:26
it as something you thought instead
26:28
I kind of reworked one where I now
26:33
currently have a joke about like friend
26:34
who gold s lesbian was like oh I've
26:36
never done doggy style or I've never
26:38
been the
26:39
dog and I'm like oh so wait do you think
26:43
but basically they said I've never done
26:46
doggy style and I'm like well you've
26:47
never been the dog and then I had a
26:49
whole bit where it's like doggy style a
26:50
woman is a dog and a man is a man that
26:52
makes sense and it's like a whole thing
26:53
about there's one dog and there's a man
26:55
and there's a dog and in the moment it
26:57
was me leading that b completely but I
26:59
reworked the joke to be like they call
27:01
themselves a dog and I was like do you
27:03
think that's what doggy style is so it
27:06
was all they were part of it the whole
27:08
time okay yeah I guess my thought is
27:10
depends on the joke you I think I think
27:12
that's a great way to do it in that
27:13
specific add like cuz then you have like
27:15
a funny thought you can help to assign
27:17
it to someone else so then you create a
27:19
true character scene that's what it was
27:21
instead of me being like wouldn't it be
27:23
funny if doggy style was a dog I'm like
27:25
here's the thing that happened between
27:26
me and my friend so you had them say the
27:28
dumb thing as opposed to like the joke
27:31
you know what I mean yeah yeah which is
27:32
I think different cuz sometimes you
27:33
somebody will tell a joke where they're
27:34
like then my mom said this and you're
27:36
like yeah that's hilarious of your mom
27:38
to say but like I think it is that to
27:41
land on that you have to say you have to
27:42
have a tag that makes it yours again I
27:44
think you have to like mix I think that
27:47
I think you can say i' said a funny
27:49
thing one time um and it can work it
27:52
just can't be all you do cuz there like
27:53
a comic who I'm like I watched them and
27:55
I'm like you are good but all your jokes
27:57
are like and and then I did something
27:59
really cool and I'm like I can't watch
28:01
an hour of this but like you can I think
28:04
you can mix that in that could be part
28:05
of your tool kit D is your shirt Ikea
28:07
yeah I used to work there that's awesome
28:09
that's a great only had shirts my first
28:11
ever job what section were you in um I
28:14
was a cart boy I got the carts out of
28:15
the C the is that what they called you
28:18
well they they called everybody else a
28:20
cart coworker they called me a cart
28:23
boy I didn't know the Swedish were
28:25
racist that's crazy you didn't
28:29
I I went over there in the '90s and
28:30
brought it to
28:32
them you're like Columbus for racism for
28:34
the swedes I am like Columbus for the
28:36
racism for the sweets yes I um also like
28:40
your bracelet sir oh thanks you brought
28:42
the spice to
28:44
them and then I said you don't like this
28:46
how did you make that with one hand I'm
28:49
uh I think I'm dextrous bro I think I'm
28:52
Dex bro dextrous as hell Flex on us I
28:55
like
28:56
it oh I'm getting Flex
28:59
I I get Flex Guillotine right this is
29:02
really nice sensual oh that's nice thank
29:05
you it is good it feels like just sort
29:06
of a fidget toy to have it in one H whoa
29:09
lights are doing something crazy what
29:11
the hell I don't know the neighbors are
29:14
doing it too
29:15
oh whoa what's up with that it has to be
29:18
a relative instead of saying were you
29:20
trying to say like are there ghosts what
29:21
the heck but you just go you have any
29:23
dead
29:23
[Laughter]
29:25
relatives Weir maybe this should be
29:27
found footage
29:29
like I hope the audio is all good all
29:32
right that or what how long have
29:35
everybody been doing comedy it's been 20
29:38
minutes I can ask that a while over I
29:41
don't know 2013 I started doing in this
29:43
is annoying but it looks like it's the
29:45
whole power system oh really the
29:48
neighbor lights are doing it too so I
29:49
guess that's [ __ ] weird what time it
29:53
but uh I don't know I started like doing
29:55
improv in 2013 and then stand up in like
29:58
2016 when did you start liking bugs m in
30:02
general or yeah I don't know as a kid
30:06
how about how about you guys I thought
30:08
you years ago I've been doing comedy for
30:11
almost six years I've been I've been
30:13
liking bugs for about30 I never like
30:15
bugs I hate bugs get the [ __ ] out real
30:18
[ __ ] wait I want to pause real quick
30:20
I don't like this question by the way I
30:22
ha I don't like being asked when when
30:23
I'm I know I know I know you're curious
30:25
but I just don't I always feel like it
30:27
uh you Walters if I'm a guy can't a guy
30:30
can't appreciate things about his
30:32
friends a guy can't want to get to know
30:34
you I'm sorry [ __ ] me sorry I guess I
30:38
guess my thought is that I think there's
30:40
um it feels like there's a certain like
30:43
hat of veterans ship that some people
30:45
get like then get to go
30:47
like you know what I mean and I'm like
30:49
or the reverse where people are like I'm
30:51
doing 10 years and I'm still at open Wix
30:53
like I feel like people I feel can go
30:55
either way oh true yeah or or the or the
30:58
new I I am curious about the homies but
31:01
I also just feel like it
31:03
uh I feel like I I feel like I put on
31:06
the hat a little bit where I go yes a de
31:08
you know what I mean I feel like a
31:09
[ __ ] what's your identity of Comedy
31:12
that what's your
31:15
identity uh the video games and Friends
31:19
identity outside the comment you what
31:22
the [ __ ] damn you
31:24
I'm I was eating with that question I've
31:27
been doing in 11 years
31:28
so like I think the be but like I think
31:30
it all depends on when you start too
31:31
like if you start like I started 19 so
31:34
like I think some of those years just
31:35
[ __ ] don't even matter so I just
31:37
don't think it it is anything other than
31:39
well you said you did something with
31:40
like cuz your uh family does music right
31:43
or someone my Dad's friend had a cover
31:46
band so I did do I did do like five
31:49
shows when I was 18 that's so fun I did
31:52
a Bill Cosby impression for two of them
31:56
one of them I stole the material the
31:57
other than when I did original material
31:59
with
32:00
cos and wait how old are you are you
32:02
teen it's 18 that's so funny yeah just
32:06
like an 18y white boying a
32:12
Cofe I'd be like you never been to
32:14
Community College wait what kind of
32:16
covers did they do huh what kind of
32:19
covers were they doing I want to put the
32:20
I want the whole scene yeah you're lucky
32:22
he ended up being a bad guy
32:24
huh you got passed
32:28
I was like doing I was like oh this is
32:30
pretty fun and my friend was like wait
32:31
wait wait you do it you can't steal
32:35
material wait but it's a cover band
32:37
you're kind of like like and here's my
32:39
cover of stand up right there should be
32:42
cover bands for standup I should be
32:44
allowed to do a Cosby set today should
32:46
be stand up karaoke
32:48
I want to do that we do shows where we
32:51
do each other's material I love those
32:53
kinds of shows I find those very fond
32:54
and like I love stuff we were supposed
32:57
to to each other a few times yeah and I
32:59
was going to give her all my jokes with
33:00
the N word of
33:01
course just to see how she adapted yeah
33:05
and then I was going to give you all my
33:06
jokes with the n-word to see how to see
33:08
how they'd sound without everyone
33:09
getting so [ __ ] worked up you know
33:11
how sometimes people cover like a doop
33:13
song and like they reveal that like all
33:14
the doop songs are like real real sad if
33:16
you listen to the lyrics I feel like my
33:18
material about your n-word stuff would
33:20
be that where it's like out of out of my
33:23
mouth it sounds much much harsher I
33:25
think you and I would well I think we
33:27
have an amazing in common which is both
33:29
of us have slept with someone who died
33:31
and yeah before before or after sorry
33:34
well before before and
33:38
during wait what not before for me dur
33:41
during for him is correct I had a sorry
33:43
I I got pass we were having sex uh seen
33:48
years ago oh my God yeah like this is
33:50
It's a real thing that happened to me
33:51
like 3 years ago a guy passed away you
33:52
were having sex you [ __ ] a life out of
33:54
that man yes sir yes sir what the
33:58
hell what's my body you very you
34:03
dorian's jokes at him like he has very
34:04
funny part where it's it was a grinder
34:06
hookup yes uh yeah more or less more or
34:08
less and and being like the cops were
34:10
asking me questions like I didn't know
34:12
the answer to like was his
34:15
name d you chewed him up and spit him
34:18
out B on to the next one
34:22
Adam no but yeah I was like and then he
34:25
like the details I leave out of that
34:26
joke are also crazy like they keep on
34:28
finding out things about the guy cuz
34:30
they're like investigating and every
34:32
time they like come to me like did you
34:33
know this I'm like no I didn't know this
34:35
and why are you telling me this thing
34:36
that makes me feel worse wow yeah I like
34:38
did you know he had a wife and I was
34:39
like no why would you tell me that I
34:41
didn't need to know that I didn't need
34:42
to know that so did he cash out just
34:44
super quick uh kind of like he was doing
34:48
viagara and poppers which is like a
34:50
really dangerous combination makes your
34:52
heart do like loop-de-loops all right
34:53
I'm going to stop doing this
34:56
yeah I Adam I've been telling you got to
34:58
lay off the vagar and
35:01
Papas just talking about that with
35:03
someone about he was going to do
35:05
bluechew and Coke at the same time and
35:07
then all the men were like No And I was
35:09
like why was this even on the table
35:10
please don't do it well they sell the
35:13
poppers and blue right next to each
35:15
other at the
35:16
[Music]
35:18
bodegas that's like Doritos
35:21
and that's you on the
35:24
beach no it's Tim Robinson saying
35:26
poppers cuz about jalapeno poppers every
35:29
time I hear about the gay poppers I'm
35:32
like
35:34
gay the
35:36
popper what is it before it was gay it
35:38
was like keyboard cleaner or
35:40
something W wood Polish Polish it's wood
35:44
polish now it's still wood polish
35:47
hey wow that's right get this man on
35:52
Conan right yeah bring bring Conan back
35:56
bring Conan Back special episode he's on
35:58
it and he does one joke and it's about G
36:03
drugs so con so you uh you have a big
36:06
joke about gay
36:09
sex it's funny as you'd ask me that
36:11
Conan I said wood polish like polishing
36:13
a guy's [ __ ] my friend Dorian killed a
36:18
guy with his with his [ __ ] with his
36:22
[ __ ] were you guys like in contact or
36:24
was he just like doing the poppers and
36:25
then was like oh go d no yeah no yeah I
36:28
was I was I was inside of this man you
36:31
deep down and like he was he started
36:32
like seizing I didn't recognize that I
36:34
mean cuz it's kind of hard when you're
36:36
like [ __ ] somebody I thought he was
36:37
like growling at me I was like white
36:39
people are so weird no but he was like
36:41
white people be
36:44
crazy white people be crazy is the last
36:46
thing this man ever
36:48
heard that is last thing I ever heard
36:50
was hey can you stop that what a way to
36:53
go out want to hear a poppers joke yes I
36:56
also that's how I I'm always like want
36:57
to hear a joke but uh the uh so you said
37:01
that before every joke you do stage I
37:03
always you guys you guys in rude to hear
37:05
a joke getting consent okay it's
37:08
important some people don't want to hear
37:09
a joke dud uh [ __ ] so poppers make
37:12
your a butthole loose yeah that's like
37:15
the exact opposite thing that Sour
37:17
WarHeads
37:19
do yeah yeah you shouldn't mix the two
37:24
okay
37:25
for perfect
37:28
does that make anyone else like kind of
37:29
Puck her up 100% 100% I it's like and
37:35
I'm like I what I I want to I want to
37:37
Pivot to asking uh cuz I do this
37:39
probably way too often to a point that I
37:41
think it's detrimental to my
37:43
relationships with other people uh do
37:45
you go do you want to hear a joke and
37:47
then tell people a joke like do you do
37:49
you bring up jokes from standup in
37:51
conversation only other comments well
37:54
you have such contained jokes to do that
37:58
like you have set up punchline things I
38:00
will say I won't say I was like I'd be
38:03
like G this is annoying I kind of
38:04
actually have a bit about this and
38:05
basically and I say my joke
38:07
conversationally but you can't yours is
38:09
so set up punchline I have like if if if
38:11
we're talking about I appreciate I see
38:13
what you're saying like if we're talking
38:14
about like a bat or something I have to
38:16
go like would you like to hear a bat
38:18
joke so I can't just go like bats and
38:20
dolphins both use
38:22
echolocation you do have otherwise I'd
38:24
be like he's doing stand up at me but if
38:27
you ask first I'm like Yay he's doing
38:29
standup at me well I thought of a joke
38:32
know what it happens to be the most
38:33
other Comics jokes I go I know a
38:35
friend's joke about that like you're
38:36
drinking a white claw and I know Tim
38:39
Meyer who doesn't like do that much
38:41
anymore but I love he has one joke from
38:44
100 years ago where he was just like I
38:45
like that's called White claw cuz that's
38:47
what you always find him
38:49
in I I think about that every
38:53
time I think I have said Tim stroke on
38:55
like 10 different podcasts cuz cuz it's
38:57
my go-to like this is a friend joke that
39:00
I heard at a mic 10 years ago that's not
39:02
true uh 3 years ago and I like a n Back
39:06
N um and I was like I will think about
39:09
this every time I see a white call and
39:11
it's true and I go this is another
39:13
person's joke but I love it very much I
39:15
think when if someone quits comedy not
39:17
the Tim has but if someone quits comedy
39:18
I think they should sell their jokes off
39:20
oh and I should get them that's a cool
39:22
idea yeah like uh what's that EP that TV
39:24
show The Storage Wars
39:29
I would love to buy some people's jokes
39:30
that don't do stand up anymore if I die
39:32
before I get to like make it I would
39:34
like y'all to like take the jokes I had
39:37
and like make them large guys I was an
39:39
orgy and a guy
39:41
died you can sell
39:43
it all right it wasn't an orgy it was a
39:46
one-on-one encounter it was a one-on-one
39:48
encounter nobody's died at my orgies
39:50
that ended this man's life I would I
39:53
would steal your opening for sure I
39:55
would steal your opening where the bad
39:57
[ __ ] is that and then be like I'm
39:58
scared of bad [ __ ] I need to identify
40:00
the threat P pull a God yeah you guys
40:03
havep of jokes that you think are funny
40:06
but that you're like this would work
40:08
better if somebody else said it all the
40:10
time really I'm sure I do I just I mean
40:13
as a woman yeah truly for some reason
40:17
people love to hear abortion jokes from
40:18
men way more than from women people also
40:21
really do like my really really angry
40:24
black jokes people don't like people
40:26
don't like when I'm like truly upset
40:28
about something yeah but when Adam tells
40:31
you you're really angry Adam would crush
40:33
I I'll have a spicy premise and I'm like
40:35
God this would be so good for someone
40:37
else so good for a black comic I've been
40:39
doing this joke about like uh the
40:42
concept of black mediocrity and I can
40:44
tell that everybody's very uncomfortable
40:46
but I do think that there's like a comic
40:49
who's probably not black who can crack
40:51
it cuz when I when I start talking about
40:53
it they're like oh he's going to be on
40:54
his Roy Woods Jr [ __ ] whereas like
40:57
we all started talking about they'd be
40:58
like oh he's about to be on his Daniel
41:00
TSH [ __ ] and you fake him out you
41:02
woke about it
41:04
really myv black on stage even if it's
41:06
not about race people white people don't
41:09
understand that black is not a bad word
41:11
like they don't understand that that's
41:12
actually bad to think you know what I
41:14
mean well how are you saying it she put
41:16
some St on
41:18
it I put some St no it's like oh you
41:21
know I don't remember [ __ ] oh I'm
41:24
sorry yeah I when I was a little kid I
41:26
used to tell my dad to stop calling
41:28
Randy Jackson black he like he's
41:30
African-American dad I I remember being
41:34
a little kid and saying calling him
41:35
black he's a ner
41:40
dad I remember some I remember being a
41:43
little kid and talking to babysitter and
41:44
they're asking me like I think we're
41:45
picking someone else and asking about a
41:47
friend and I was like um I don't know if
41:49
I can say this but um she's um Asian
41:52
yeah and they and my babysit was like
41:54
you can say that that's a fact like a
41:56
whisper racist I was like I didn't I
41:58
didn't know but I guess I was just very
42:00
much so raised on the side of caution I
42:02
mean what people do this thing where
42:04
like every time they talk about
42:05
something that's like a little bit taboo
42:06
they whisper it even if like it should
42:08
be said out loud I was at the I got
42:10
treated for garia like three months ago
42:13
and like the Doctor Who was giving me
42:15
the shot was like oh so we're about to
42:17
give you the shot for Conor I was like
42:19
you're you're the doctor I'm here yeah
42:22
hey Dorian is it still there or is it
42:23
goria
42:25
hey Conan are you list he's got Co for
42:28
you oh and the goria could be a gay one
42:32
if it was passed between two gay people
42:33
was it gay garia that's right I'm a
42:35
[ __ ] I have no
42:39
clue
42:41
wow that sounds like gay diarrhea me too
42:45
me too no way I have
42:49
that being mad about my diara I'm like
42:51
it's so gay when birds poop it's like e
42:54
do you have gay diarrhea oh stop I would
42:55
never know that about my poop look at it
42:58
I don't know or care I uh I didn't want
43:00
to immediately bring it to Comedy when
43:01
we're talking about poop before but now
43:03
I'm doing it do you like poop jokes uh I
43:06
am considering it exposure therapy no I
43:09
really don't hate I can talk about it as
43:13
soon as someone says the word wet I'm
43:15
out I don't want to picture any
43:17
specifics concept of poop it's okay but
43:19
when people like uh do fart sounds and
43:22
stuff like that I'm like I recognize
43:24
that this is bringing somebody Joy yeah
43:26
I stop it I actually I feel similarly
43:29
about farts which is weird I actually
43:30
don't like farts that much but I find
43:32
poop and diarrhea and stuff I find that
43:34
really funny for some reason I don't
43:35
know it's some weird split I'm not
43:37
grossed out by it but I don't find
43:39
scatological humor funny at all like I'm
43:42
not grossed out in real life by poop or
43:44
fart but like whenever I hear somebody
43:45
telling poop jokes I'm like a bit a bit
43:48
juvenile I I'm saying this I have poop
43:51
jokes and I like poop jokes but I think
43:53
these are valid perspectives and
43:54
whenever sometimes I'll tell them and I
43:56
can like tell the crowd doesn't like it
43:58
at all and I'm like listen that's you're
44:01
all valid for that I feel like Nicks in
44:03
perfect of the form joke about taking a
44:06
dump fart diarrhea it's funny keep going
44:10
yeah took his [ __ ] oh no then he falls
44:14
and he slips and then he's like doing
44:16
the worm because it's just so much wet
44:18
[ __ ] in his [ __ ] and pants it's funny
44:20
it's a situation see I guess I do like
44:23
it I do I think I like it once I've
44:26
established that it's like taboo for me
44:28
and then someone's like so what diarrhea
44:30
I'm like okay it's kind of funny when
44:32
Luigi man own shop at Healthcare
44:34
Executive he [ __ ] his pants immediately
44:35
cuz that's what happens when you die Oh
44:37
I thought you me Lu they should they
44:39
should well he probably did too he's
44:42
like it worked it worked I have thought
44:45
many times if I when I feel like I need
44:47
to poop and I'm like damn if I die right
44:49
now it's all going to come out and
44:50
that's going to suck I think if I were
44:52
like a younger man and I was like
44:54
grinding on with a lady she was grinding
44:57
on me and she [ __ ] her pants I think I
44:59
would probably keep
45:00
going RIT rabit up con con don't don't
45:04
call
45:05
anymore forget
45:09
iton you watching this like that's crazy
45:13
do it if she took a [ __ ] that's crazy
45:15
wow where do you even get that stuff
45:17
from that's crazy oh my God literally
45:20
like a defense mechanism for women not
45:22
to get assaulted guys are like I will
45:24
keep
45:25
going that was are you saying cuz you
45:27
were so so horny or because your like
45:30
poop really just doesn't affect me I
45:32
think if I were younger guy I mean if
45:33
she kept going I wouldn't be like how
45:35
much younger how much younger we if I
45:38
was 20 if I was 20 oh yeah and how old a
45:41
girl uh up to probably like
45:46
42 at 43 you're like I was grinding on
45:49
this 40-year-old Girl 43 I'm like ma'am
45:53
I do I do have a joke about grinding on
45:55
a guy and making him come but that's
45:57
like yeah it could never be like quick
45:59
joke for you it's like a 5 minute story
46:01
you can't like spit that out
46:03
conversation but that's the thing you
46:04
say I have a joke about this and then
46:05
you tell it like a story right you don't
46:07
do your standup writing yeah but then I
46:09
tell it in like a self-conscious like
46:10
talking way too fast way yes I just want
46:14
to get it out like I I'm scared I'm
46:15
going to go into standup voice you know
46:17
so I'm just like and then I'm like doing
46:19
a bad job of the would you want to I
46:21
kind of cuz I want to hear this I do
46:23
want to hear this story you don't know
46:24
the you don't watch all my
46:25
reals oh interesting I thought you were
46:28
studying them he he watches them with
46:30
the sound
46:33
off he looks at your pretty
46:37
face a comment
46:44
[Music]
46:47
[ __ ] I feel like I like I know I know
46:49
your tis don't have correspond to
46:51
anything but when we were like just we
46:54
were like just about to get started and
46:55
we after you heard it and we're all sat
46:57
down and then I was like actually I'm
46:58
going to get up and get my lip box and
47:00
you were like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and I
47:01
was like I know it's not about that but
47:03
like a little part of me is like it is
47:05
annoying that I have to get up to get my
47:06
lip gloss like is there a COR yeah no no
47:09
no no I I actually noticed that too uh
47:12
no it's that's not it's not correlated
47:14
in that way it's correlated to in
47:16
general to things like their lip gloss
47:19
how calm I am and stuff like
47:21
that but you didn't say like [ __ ]
47:23
[ __ ] you said [ __ ]
47:28
yeah but no anyway um I don't I don't
47:31
think I have the nword as a tick cuz I
47:33
don't spend any time with black
47:34
people sorry I'm kidding I'm [ __ ] I'm
47:37
[ __ ] I'm kidding can you actually I
47:39
was going to ask no speak on it let's
47:41
get it out let's get it out can you hit
47:43
the red button right before you're about
47:45
to go and no that's literally what being
47:49
it no he's actually right for that one a
47:52
button uh uh you it's bad to it's not in
47:57
it's not a um uh you only get to use it
48:00
three times a year it's it's
48:03
it's not in
48:05
February it's pretty hard to describe it
48:08
it's maybe not quite the red button as
48:09
much as it's like I'm going to describe
48:11
it as like an Iron
48:13
Dome IR where it's like some missiles
48:16
are getting through but like I can but I
48:18
can if I am on active alert I can shoot
48:21
some down you know what I mean does that
48:24
make sense that's a crazy metaphor to
48:26
use
48:27
that don't know you told me you've
48:29
rerouted words before yeah yeah yeah so
48:31
it is like I used to have the nword as
48:33
just something I like to say for fun and
48:36
it became a
48:38
tick freak brother what the [ __ ] are
48:41
they doing that
48:43
in I will say that is true for young
48:45
17-year-old Benny I'm not going to lie
48:47
there that is true I had to unlearn that
48:49
however anyway not the point folks but
48:51
what I'm trying to say is that it is
48:53
like if you have nword or something as a
48:55
tick um there's the behavioral therapy
48:58
idea is like sledding where you have
49:00
this mental path that you keep going
49:01
down if you do that tick more often uh
49:04
that becomes the pathway and so you
49:06
basically want to stop doing that tick
49:09
dorian's Shell Shocked ever since I said
49:10
that thing about
49:12
that I assume every white person has
49:16
said the N word and I think that some of
49:19
them are lying about not saying it I
49:22
mean my my rule for white people saying
49:24
the n- word is I will give any white
49:26
person the p ask why do not believe
49:27
under any circumstance would ever say
49:29
the
49:30
n-word and I sometimes people are acting
49:33
a fool in Halo sorry no no but I think
49:36
there's the thing of like did you
49:37
consciously unlearn it is that I think
49:39
it's like before you're 17 or like
49:41
people are raised in with horrible
49:44
parents and all that kind of stuff like
49:45
I think I got it's an unlearning process
49:47
I like you have to understand that not
49:49
every like there are some people who are
49:51
just like racist but then there are
49:52
other people who are just like I come
49:53
from a place where I did not know how
49:55
bad it was to do this I you give those
49:58
people like the grace to like learn and
50:01
grow while also still holding their feet
50:03
to the fire I think yeah I think it's
50:05
both like you don't put them in a
50:07
position where they get defensive and
50:08
double down why it's okay and you give
50:10
them a chance but it's like you give
50:11
them one chance it's very obvious to me
50:15
now that I yeah
50:19
it Dei
50:23
Drake one more time for AR we don't want
50:26
he you say NW word no more I need a one
50:31
chance do you feel like I don't know if
50:33
this is um a stupid question at all but
50:36
like have you had takes that like betray
50:38
your emotions in a situation no so
50:40
that's kind of what well okay so okay
50:42
yes and no is what I'll say is not what
50:44
I'm actively saying where if I say like
50:46
[ __ ] it like the the words aren't
50:48
related however the emotion can be mean
50:51
kind of like um like because I get more
50:54
nervous I'll have more ticks or
50:56
something you know I mean so if I if I'm
50:58
like embarrassed then I like kind of
50:59
freak the [ __ ] out oh I yeah that makes
51:02
a ton of sense or if there's a situation
51:04
where you but they might not know that
51:08
say like a roommate or a significant
51:09
other like bothered you but you know the
51:11
best thing in the situation is to act
51:13
like you're fine you know what I mean
51:14
like a true like it the mature thing to
51:16
do would be not be mad do you feel like
51:18
that has ever been betrayed uh anger is
51:20
not one of my triggers okay um yeah yeah
51:23
so like embarrassment and nerves and
51:25
adrenaline and and ack uh yes in like
51:30
yeah in like School in like college to
51:32
like you know cuz I'm allowed to do it
51:33
in class whenever I want so like just to
51:36
be like disruptive during a test or
51:38
something I'd be like [ __ ] you know what
51:40
I mean and like you know looking at my
51:42
homies and like
51:45
yeah you guys hear that yeah yeah no for
51:47
sure for sure this class is Ada
51:49
accessible yeah so sick but typically no
51:53
yeah this is my favorite jelly and I
51:55
love that you put these in the jelly jar
51:57
it's very like Martha Stewart touch you
52:00
didn't have to you could have left it in
52:02
the bag I appreciate I like using the I
52:04
like using these things I like a pom pom
52:06
my somebody recently gave me it was
52:08
really sweet I officiated a wedding and
52:11
of like my two best friends and then the
52:12
groom's aunt who's like this school
52:14
artist whatever gave me like a a a gift
52:17
that was a um like a CH paper Chinese
52:21
takeout like that you put like rice in
52:23
and it was filled with these and it was
52:25
just like she had like drawn all over
52:26
over it and it was just like very like I
52:27
was like it was just like C
52:29
[ __ ] no I'm
52:30
K it was just like creative and cute and
52:33
I opened it and like all these came out
52:34
she was like I don't know and I was like
52:36
I love it thank you love your style
52:39
style is great right now by the way look
52:41
at this than drippy I'm drippy you mean
52:45
it it's giving it's giving what um um
52:48
it's giving slay Queen um okay okay on
52:52
God for real for real is over we're not
52:53
doing slay Queens
52:56
oh Santa's a woman
52:58
now in Joe bod's America not
53:02
today oh yeah we brought back male Santa
53:06
Santa's aaz Santa's got a [ __ ] he's got
53:08
a big [ __ ] he's got a big big red [ __ ]
53:12
like Coca-Cola I saw Santa's [ __ ] and I
53:14
was like wow it's big and red wow big
53:17
and red not as big as mine but big like
53:19
the Coca-Cola that's what the polar
53:20
bears are drinking Santa's con they're
53:23
drinking Santa's con folks now that
53:25
we're almost an hour in let me introduce
53:26
my guests
53:28
this oh my God we got Dorian the Boos we
53:31
got merid th we got Tana Frank we got
53:33
Adam Gilbert there's no specific reason
53:36
that this collection of people is
53:37
together I just kind of thought I
53:39
started doing a a big podcast big group
53:42
podcast thought it' be fun I love this
53:45
no this is this is great okay now rank
53:47
us
53:48
yes starting first by attractiveness
53:51
then by funniness and then by uh f f fmk
53:54
you can leave one of us out for no
53:56
reason at all oh fmk us and leave one of
53:58
us out wait no I would totally rather
54:00
you look me in the eye and say you'd
54:01
kill me than leave me out I'm going to
54:03
rank you I'm going to rank you by your
54:05
participation in the crafts thus far uh
54:09
Meredith is so far winning at number one
54:12
uh with a sort of constant attentiveness
54:14
to the craft thank you uh Drew an
54:16
eyeball don't know where it went it fell
54:17
under the table I see uh I did a few of
54:20
my hearts I kind of keep dropping [ __ ]
54:22
let's see other than that I H I made
54:24
this heart D second yeah D Dorian Dorian
54:28
second uh has actively has Puffs on him
54:32
made the heart uh let's compliment in my
54:34
bracelet earlier that I made out of
54:36
those Gilbert's got the he's got the
54:37
bracelet he made some stuff let me
54:39
remind you third let me REM it's it's
54:42
not a competition it's not a competition
54:43
it is a competition comp yeah than you
54:46
coffee for
54:48
closes out I can't yep Tana is uh yep's
54:52
a piece of shit's a piece of [ __ ] who
54:54
couldn't engage with the medium
54:57
but in terms of talking about the craft
54:59
of Stand Comedy on number one you guys
55:02
forced me to rank you forced me to do
55:04
that I could have easily said no but I
55:05
chose to do it nice all right GL you did
55:08
in order of hotness it goes Meredith one
55:11
also tied for one Adam also TI for one
55:13
Tatiana also the most
55:16
Bitcoin you're all gorgeous uh Adam is
55:19
running away with it really I Bitcoin
55:21
yeah who has the most Bitcoin I don't
55:22
really Bitcoin I did until I got hacked
55:26
really so that was Tatiana was number
55:29
one in most Bitcoin here you just you
55:30
just smelted Delta yeah no it's on my
55:34
mind cuz I got the call cuz I'm not like
55:36
a crypto person so I just have I just
55:38
went on the exchange SM Del I just went
55:40
on the exchange really
55:42
smana has been farting this whole time
55:45
turned we've all turned on Tatiana for
55:47
some reason and I apologize guys I'm in
55:48
a sensitive place I just got a call
55:50
saying that my shit's empty oh wait just
55:53
happened yeah really
55:56
Trader I just bought some like a like
55:58
years ago and I just left there cuz I
56:00
don't want to pay Capital Gains and I'm
56:01
like oh I'll just like let it acrw and I
56:03
left it in the account which is like not
56:06
you're supposed to like you have to be
56:07
so technical you have to have like a
56:09
physical well the whole point is that
56:10
it's digital and they're like that's not
56:11
safe you got to get it out of the
56:13
digital into the hardcore World your
56:15
friends are going to know what I'm
56:16
talking about and I never bothered to do
56:18
that and I just left it in the digital
56:20
website that supposed to be securing my
56:22
[ __ ] and then they call me and they're
56:24
like oh are you in North Carolina trying
56:26
to extract all your money and I was like
56:28
No And they're like o and then I look in
56:31
there and it like there's like five
56:33
bucks oh man they left you five bucks is
56:37
there a way is there a way to get it
56:38
back just fluctuated since oh man but um
56:41
I think it I haven't have time to look
56:43
into it I'm such a disorganized person
56:44
that it's like on my to-do list to look
56:46
into well so you haven't
56:49
lost you haven't lost funds these were
56:51
all this was just profits or has
56:54
something been stolen I mean the in the
56:55
initial investment yeah okay how much
56:57
did you initially invest I initially
56:59
invested
57:00
$1,500 okay and I had like I've never
57:04
had $1500 to spend on
57:06
something maybe maybe 13 to 15 no I've
57:09
never paid you lose but you got you got
57:11
the 15K out or you lost I paid much in
57:13
rent I think it was up to between it
57:15
would fluctuate a lot it was between 12
57:17
and 15 so how much how much has been
57:19
stolen
57:20
$700 all of it what I paid $700 I put
57:24
$1,500 in like but that's the initial S
57:27
years ago okay damn so I technically
57:30
only lost 1500 but I did lose like 15
57:33
grand damn dude minus capital gains tax
57:36
damn um oh man sorry about that dude so
57:39
yeah I guess I smed
57:42
tilted crying crying crying yeah I well
57:45
it's good to know she's back with being
57:46
the broke with us yeah does anyone else
57:49
have any uh staking crypto uh no I don't
57:53
and it sucks cuz it's like I voted for
57:54
Trump for nothing you know like I
57:56
thought I was rich one of you guys oh
57:59
did you get some of uh did you get some
58:00
of HW 2
58:02
coin she did H coin I'm embarrassed to
58:05
admit I did do ethereum for a time no
58:08
that's what I had and it was you did
58:10
ethereum back oh got yeah I bought it
58:12
when it was like wow a 10
58:15
times dude during Co there was like
58:18
nothing to do so I was like all right
58:21
I'm going to become a I'll become a
58:22
crypto guy for a minute and then I I
58:24
looked into it and I they were like this
58:26
one is the one that's not bad for the
58:27
environment or not going to be cuz it
58:29
was like a different type of uh instead
58:32
of proof of work which is the mining it
58:34
was proof of stake or whatever um or
58:36
they were doing that anyway uh so I was
58:39
like cool yeah I'll go for the one
58:40
that's good for the environment or going
58:42
to be and then uh lies uh yeah just I
58:45
don't know I think I like lost some
58:47
money and then I it went up and then it
58:48
went back down and I was just like all
58:50
right never mind I think I made like um
58:54
like I think I just took my went up went
58:57
back down and I took my money back out
58:58
and just nothing happened I I like to do
59:01
gambling I feel like I can control I
59:03
don't gamble I'll play poker sometimes
59:06
scared me too much to ever get into
59:08
sports betting you see I don't I I can't
59:10
Sports bet cuz I'm like either yeah well
59:13
when when I Sports bet I place emotional
59:15
heads bets what the hell is that so I
59:18
bet against the thing I would like to
59:19
happen in my heart oh that's kind of
59:21
nice I like that so it's like Pat
59:23
Mahomes to throw four interceptions yeah
59:26
I'll bet on that cuz I'm like if he
59:27
throws four interceptions um then that
59:30
means I get money but also that that
59:32
means I'm really sad probably that's so
59:34
yeah yeah like betting on like if I bet
59:37
on the Bulls to lose all either way I
59:39
win okay I get that godam hey uh we are
59:42
currently at an hour so I do want to
59:44
offer uh I know people have stuff to do
59:47
that's lovely what the hell sorry I'm
59:50
listening to you no that's great no hold
59:51
on I love that uh I wanted to
59:54
offer are people interested in
59:56
continuing to go for a bit or do people
59:58
need to immediately duck out anything
59:59
I'll rip for a second I'm chilling cool
1:00:02
cool I we'll at risk of sing like a
1:00:04
loser hour I'm going to some stew after
1:00:07
this I'm very excited oh with from
1:00:10
roomate or from your phip um it is from
1:00:14
neither from friend from friend um
1:00:18
you're going to eat stew yeah it was
1:00:20
like this plan to go to get like
1:00:22
cocktails at first and then someone was
1:00:23
like What if I made stew and we were all
1:00:25
like that that
1:00:28
is it Sam cuz I know weather Sam can
1:00:31
cook it
1:00:32
is Sam is not the stew maker e says the
1:00:34
stew maker like I feel like no one calls
1:00:36
it stew like if you tight that into Uber
1:00:37
Eats like nothing's going to come up
1:00:40
right I want you to drive stew in your
1:00:42
bare hands to me and I'm not going tip
1:00:45
it's like a qu it's like a quantity
1:00:46
thing it's like nobody's going to
1:00:48
deliver an entire like week's worth
1:00:50
supply of Stew but even in a restant
1:00:53
soup soup is a single serving of no clue
1:00:56
what it's going to be it's never ready
1:00:58
it's it's never good I order th on on
1:01:01
door Dash I might as well pissed in my
1:01:02
mouth I I stay out all Twitter debates
1:01:05
about door Dash Uber but I use it where
1:01:07
the [ __ ] it's on my phone yeah what are
1:01:09
the Twitter debates I it's good or bad
1:01:12
it's bad but it's you know oh got you
1:01:14
got got I'm in the door Dash uh
1:01:16
subreddit and let me tell you they're
1:01:18
not paying these people enough for how
1:01:20
much [ __ ] they do oh I can't imagine
1:01:22
I know like every day like somebody's
1:01:25
like a person gave me literally
1:01:26
impossible instructions and then
1:01:28
reported me Jesus that's bad I just tip
1:01:31
like a [ __ ] say if if you tip
1:01:34
really well and don't do it all the time
1:01:35
I think you know what I
1:01:36
mean why are you in the
1:01:39
Reddit but it is why are you in Gig EC I
1:01:43
used to Door Dash Okay when I first
1:01:45
moved to New York I had to pick up some
1:01:46
gigs cuz not all of us have $1,500 to
1:01:49
put in my God fake
1:01:52
money some of us don't have fiat
1:01:55
currency
1:01:56
weest some some of us have to work on
1:02:00
the streets
1:02:04
hey Jimmy are you watching Kimel Fallon
1:02:08
James James Cordon
1:02:10
yeah back in the mouse suit I don't know
1:02:14
you've never had
1:02:16
$1,500 I briefly had $1,500 during the
1:02:19
pandemic because they had to give me my
1:02:21
the money I paid for uh dorm back
1:02:26
you're a young man though you're
1:02:28
like yeah I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm a man
1:02:31
who does not do well with money what
1:02:33
what are you 25 yeah I'm 25 oh my God
1:02:36
you're so young you'll get 20 you'll
1:02:37
get5 you'll get $1,500 before you die
1:02:40
you will get $1,500 not all at once
1:02:42
it'll be a settlement you ever ask
1:02:44
yourself the Olympic payment P coming
1:02:46
out um you ever like ask yourself like
1:02:49
what's life-changing money to you and
1:02:50
you're like it's probably not as much
1:02:51
money as you would hope it oh yeah what
1:02:55
what what amount of money would be life
1:02:56
chaining for y'all
1:02:58
right wow it's a dollar but it has the
1:03:01
name of my birth father on
1:03:05
it you know that mean the guy who raised
1:03:07
you alone
1:03:09
yeah I like
1:03:11
him I just like seeing his name on paper
1:03:15
I fully knew it was him 50 Grand would
1:03:17
make my life like a lot easier for a
1:03:19
while oh my God but like a I think like
1:03:21
100 Grand or a million would be like
1:03:22
actually lifechanging life-changing
1:03:24
Butterfly Effect single
1:03:29
pennies yes you say 50 Grand to so like
1:03:33
I feel like that'd be like amazing it
1:03:36
like go away in a few years I think I
1:03:38
can make I could pivot a lot of like
1:03:40
within this year I could pivot so many
1:03:41
PL if I had 50 Grand that would change
1:03:43
my whole life 50 Grand to make it so
1:03:45
that I didn't have a day job and could
1:03:47
treat comedy like a full-time job would
1:03:48
change would be life changing at least
1:03:51
for a short amount of time can I tell
1:03:53
okay I'll reveal that's okay so I was
1:03:56
working a job I saved up roughly
1:03:58
35k wow uh and then I that's when I quit
1:04:02
and then have been doing ComEd cents and
1:04:04
boy do you run through it it's been it's
1:04:07
been like three years and it's like you
1:04:09
know it goes down and then you get a
1:04:10
show and it goes down and then you get a
1:04:11
show and then it goes down you go oh I
1:04:13
need to start teaching my class and then
1:04:14
it goes down and then it's like and now
1:04:16
I uh do you wish you invested it are you
1:04:18
touring um yes to that I'd say no to
1:04:22
that SL cuz I like in Amazon or Google
1:04:25
or something no no and I uh since having
1:04:28
done some of that previously now I view
1:04:31
that as just evil or like wrong I don't
1:04:34
know like I I'm no longer I'm like fully
1:04:36
unplugged from that world I think it's
1:04:38
like I don't know maybe not evil in the
1:04:41
same I don't know I'm not I'm worried
1:04:42
about stocks evil like you put in like a
1:04:45
equ an Equity Fund and you're like oh
1:04:47
they're probably going to invest in good
1:04:48
things like yes Black Rock yeah you know
1:04:52
I don't knowest black does that make
1:04:53
sense no but think buying a home is
1:04:56
similar or no I think renting out a home
1:04:58
is evil I think being a landlord is evil
1:05:00
yeah but I don't think I don't think
1:05:02
owning a home for yourself is I think
1:05:05
there are forms of being a landlord that
1:05:06
are not evil like if I had a house that
1:05:08
had like four units I lived in one and
1:05:10
then I rented the other like three I
1:05:12
think there's a way I can do that that
1:05:13
is not inherently evil I think corporate
1:05:16
land own like corporate landlording is
1:05:18
like one of the true true evil
1:05:20
Enterprises that our country is involved
1:05:21
in like if you own it you're one less
1:05:23
corporate landlord yeah wouldn't
1:05:25
necessarily frame it like that cuz then
1:05:27
like you can justify a lot of things
1:05:29
where like oh I'm the lesser of the evil
1:05:31
so it's okay I don't fix things like no
1:05:33
I think that you'd still have to be an
1:05:34
ethical landlord oh I guess my
1:05:37
perspective is that it's impossible
1:05:39
because it's not about whether it's a
1:05:41
good or bad landlord in terms of like
1:05:44
are they fixing stuff it's like the
1:05:47
system of rent itself you're paying for
1:05:49
something that is uh should be a right
1:05:52
neither a good or service that should be
1:05:53
a right yeah it's like um like
1:05:56
there's no public alternative to it
1:05:58
right yeah but yeah but it's also like
1:05:59
it's like if you're wealthy it's treated
1:06:02
as a good and if you're poor it's
1:06:04
treated as a service uh where it's like
1:06:07
you were paying money and it just goes
1:06:09
into a void and you live in this space
1:06:11
but if you're if you have enough money
1:06:12
you you pay money and you get equity in
1:06:14
the home so it's treated as an asset so
1:06:17
it's like so it's a cycle it's so it's
1:06:19
rent is the primary mechanism by which
1:06:21
money goes from the poor to the rich
1:06:23
other than the exploitation of Labor
1:06:25
sorry that yo what
1:06:27
up I don't know yeah but so that that's
1:06:29
why I don't I don't think it is possible
1:06:31
to be an ethical landlord even if you do
1:06:32
stuff like checken or paint you know
1:06:34
what I mean does that make sense sure I
1:06:36
I think that like without the complete
1:06:38
rehaul of the system though i' i' not to
1:06:41
say that like you're a onetoone better
1:06:44
than corporate landlord if you're a mom
1:06:46
and pop landlord I do think given what
1:06:50
we have in the world a person who just
1:06:51
like rents extra units out in their own
1:06:53
home is like a less evil thing I agree
1:06:57
with that I do think there's yes level
1:07:00
levels of harm does matter yeah worst I
1:07:03
ever had was a small just one man guy
1:07:05
who ran out different parts of the house
1:07:08
by far the worst landlord what he do to
1:07:11
you speak
1:07:13
no the worst Land mod I ever had was a
1:07:15
guy who rented out a unit to me in New
1:07:18
York City public housing which is
1:07:20
illegal he rented he rented a room to me
1:07:23
in a housing project in Harlem oh go I
1:07:26
know I had this one lady and she was
1:07:27
like an old lady and she'd owned it for
1:07:29
forever and when it get really cold like
1:07:32
how it is today and at night she would
1:07:34
turn the heat off and she'd be like well
1:07:36
you're sleeping so you don't you're
1:07:38
asleep whoa wonder I feel like we're
1:07:41
telling SC she also would turn it off
1:07:43
and I'd be like oh but it's also not off
1:07:44
during the it's not also not on during
1:07:46
the day and she's like well you're at
1:07:47
work I'm like so when do you turn the
1:07:49
heat on it just like you know from like
1:07:51
6:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. if we weren't
1:07:52
recording we I'd say more yeah yeah but
1:07:56
I love the idea of you being asleep and
1:07:58
nothing bad can happen to you thank you
1:08:01
for taking such a tame stance we can
1:08:03
bleep that out what you say I said we
1:08:05
should join Isis but we can bleep that
1:08:08
out yeah I I think bleep this out I do
1:08:11
think all landlords should be shot in
1:08:13
very unmark
1:08:14
Graves dude bleep this out I'm currently
1:08:17
a landlord no but I'm also in Isis so it
1:08:21
evens
1:08:22
out you think people are afraid to like
1:08:24
say they're Pro Luigi I I've seen a lot
1:08:26
of people that are like clearly Pro him
1:08:28
but like if they're being recorded
1:08:29
they're kind of like oh I don't want to
1:08:30
say do you think there's like danger
1:08:32
behind it like well maybe because there
1:08:35
was that tweet or something going around
1:08:36
that the government's like keeping tabs
1:08:37
on like who's Pro him yeah do it [ __ ]
1:08:40
or it's like I don't know tell the
1:08:41
government to do it I don't know if
1:08:42
they're afraid of like something
1:08:43
punitive happen so much as uh being AF
1:08:46
afraid to endorse someone and when they
1:08:49
are you can't so many people can't
1:08:51
unwork the idea of like murder is wrong
1:08:53
which sounds like a crazy thing I just
1:08:55
said and I understand I think it's
1:08:56
something we're talking to parents whose
1:08:58
sensibilities are like doesn't matter if
1:08:59
you would agree if you agree with it
1:09:01
this is not how the system changes like
1:09:03
activism isn't assassination and it's
1:09:05
like a but then they're like pro Israel
1:09:07
yeah exactly I think it's exactly it's a
1:09:09
lot of contradictions and it's also the
1:09:11
thing of like I remember this is so
1:09:14
funny as an example but I remember
1:09:16
talking to my mom about the slap one of
1:09:19
the worst things that the worst 911 for
1:09:21
comedians okay never forget Will Smith
1:09:25
almost died or Chris Rock almost died
1:09:28
but I remember talking to my mom about
1:09:29
it trouble telling him a part
1:09:31
huh I think well Smith almost died from
1:09:34
anger and outrage she want stop calling
1:09:35
me Napoleon a
1:09:38
mill um but I I do I remember talking to
1:09:42
my mom about that and she was like no M
1:09:43
there's no situation where you can like
1:09:44
stop someone and I'm like you wouldn't
1:09:46
defend me if like a guy who was
1:09:48
harassing me I was like violence
1:09:50
unfortunately is an ethically neutral
1:09:53
thing wait wait wait hold on I do
1:09:55
I don't think he should have I he should
1:09:58
I specific scenario yeah yeah that
1:10:01
situation was insane but she was like
1:10:03
talking about it was it's funny that
1:10:05
that's what it came from but it became
1:10:06
me being like let's say you were
1:10:08
defending me from someone who's making
1:10:09
fun of me or like physically like where
1:10:11
do you draw a line in the sand where
1:10:12
you're justified in hurting someone are
1:10:14
you unethical for doing it with slapping
1:10:16
someone inherently unethical no violence
1:10:19
is in not an inherently I think it's an
1:10:21
action that must be justified and I
1:10:23
think that as soon as you like start
1:10:25
saying saying like violence is never the
1:10:26
answer it's like well that absolute is
1:10:28
like aiv to say I do think there's
1:10:30
something to be said that I think that
1:10:32
all political action should be judged on
1:10:35
their effectiveness and political
1:10:36
violence in the United States is just
1:10:37
historically not effective like the
1:10:39
assassination of Shinzo AB in Japan he's
1:10:42
doing his stand up at
1:10:44
us like when chinzo a was assassinated
1:10:47
like they had an Earnest conversation
1:10:49
about like the cult-like religion that
1:10:51
he was involved in and how they were
1:10:52
running the country and that led yeah
1:10:54
the Moonies it actually to reform like
1:10:58
they reformed how that church operated
1:11:00
in Japan because of that assassination
1:11:02
yeah some people that kind of thing
1:11:04
can't happen in the United States
1:11:06
because that's how I feel about the the
1:11:09
the the Luigi stuff I think at first
1:11:12
naively I was kind of like whoa guys I
1:11:13
don't know like in the group chat my
1:11:15
first reaction was actually whoo but
1:11:17
when I saw the conversations being had I
1:11:19
was like this is so important like this
1:11:22
is so great that great that but like
1:11:26
people are sharing their stories of
1:11:28
getting denied coverage and people are
1:11:30
like waking up and like I was like wow
1:11:32
like no one has like had this kind of
1:11:34
impact on the conversation like in my
1:11:37
lifetime Elizabeth Warren could go [ __ ]
1:11:39
yourself but kiss kiss my whole ass I'll
1:11:41
die for that woman I'll I'll die for
1:11:43
that Native
1:11:44
American I'll die for that Native
1:11:46
American
1:11:47
Queen who's this Sab Elizabeth Warren
1:11:51
she just said I'm going to die for that
1:11:52
Native American
1:11:55
I think the 2020
1:11:57
primary I wish everybody would have
1:11:59
handled it differently cuz I think
1:12:00
ultimately the fact Biden came out of it
1:12:02
[ __ ] insane um I do think that she
1:12:05
was I do I earnestly thought she was a
1:12:07
better candidate than Bernie I think she
1:12:08
has better ideas I think she has more
1:12:10
knowhow on how to do it but that's not
1:12:11
that important that doesn't make any
1:12:13
sense I read her policies dude she knew
1:12:15
how to do it she had the know she a
1:12:17
perfect president I do think okay I
1:12:19
don't all the good qualities of all the
1:12:21
idealism of Bernie all like the good
1:12:23
qualities of Hillary without being the
1:12:24
same kind of insane person that Hillary
1:12:26
is I think she would have been way
1:12:28
better than almost all the rest of the
1:12:29
field however I do think
1:12:32
Burnley but I but I will uh but the
1:12:35
thought of
1:12:36
um she had some really great like
1:12:38
policies like the clean up the
1:12:39
corruption like she I read some of that
1:12:41
[ __ ] on her website then I was like
1:12:43
that's what's up dude she was like a
1:12:45
bankruptcy law teacher like she really
1:12:47
knew how to like the consumer the cfpb
1:12:51
yes she's the reason why that works the
1:12:53
way it does like she's great I like that
1:12:55
she's a really good policy mind I can
1:12:58
understand like the disdain some people
1:13:00
have for I bring her up just to say that
1:13:03
like she was unrepentant and being like
1:13:07
the reason why everybody's saying that
1:13:09
we should that like they their stories
1:13:11
about United is because the problem is
1:13:13
fundamentally much much bigger than
1:13:15
Luigi and we should be focusing on that
1:13:17
instead of him yes yeah yeah but he's a
1:13:20
messenger like he's the reason we're
1:13:21
having the conversation most other
1:13:24
politicians were too quick to disavow
1:13:26
the violence instead of to engage with
1:13:27
the substance of it oh 100% people are
1:13:30
just too afraid to say some people got
1:13:31
to go it feels like a Bo has been open
1:13:35
if you're an evil person you should kind
1:13:36
of be looking over your shoulder that's
1:13:37
a fact of life when you get to a certain
1:13:39
age like some people kind of should
1:13:42
better for the world if they die I don't
1:13:43
think it's wor I mean that's not even
1:13:45
the debate I'm trying to have but what
1:13:47
that people I don't it's not that I'm
1:13:48
saying people should die it's just like
1:13:50
I think I think what he did was net
1:13:52
positive yeah he died
1:13:55
that gu but also he was under
1:13:57
investigation and for all these things
1:14:00
also like propublica like once a week
1:14:02
publishes a new horrific thing the
1:14:03
United Healthcare specifically is doing
1:14:06
I guess it's the thing of like when
1:14:07
people reverse engineer their
1:14:09
philosophies where they're like so where
1:14:11
do I draw lines in the sand of if like a
1:14:13
death is worth it and I think this is
1:14:15
making people realize they didn't have
1:14:17
like an anti- murder Line in the Sand
1:14:18
that they thought they had
1:14:20
philosophically like a flat rate like no
1:14:22
murder's wrong people are like oh maybe
1:14:25
maybe it isn't like this utilitarian
1:14:27
like all life is equal how many
1:14:28
countries do we have military bases in
1:14:31
that we're currently stationed exactly I
1:14:32
mean people do the calc you right people
1:14:34
do the calculus on Israel every day
1:14:36
where it's like yeah at one point I
1:14:38
remember even like back last December I
1:14:40
was saying even if there's like a
1:14:42
exchange rate of how many Palestinians
1:14:44
need to die to justify what happened on
1:14:46
October 7th we got to name that number
1:14:49
if we're going to like allow this like I
1:14:51
think that even the most Craven people
1:14:53
are like unwilling to actually do the
1:14:55
calculus and when they're forced to it
1:14:57
it shuts down the conversation very
1:14:58
quick do you guys have any funny
1:14:59
political jokes it's hard to make
1:15:01
politics funny I've been trying
1:15:04
uh I said yeah immediately cuz I I need
1:15:07
some War material want to hear a joke
1:15:09
okay um uh I've got blood on my hands
1:15:12
for my tax dollars go to killing
1:15:14
children and stuff and genocide you know
1:15:16
I'm
1:15:17
complicit yeah Netanyahu walks into the
1:15:20
H I also have asphalt on my hands for my
1:15:22
tax dolls go to roads and stuff there we
1:15:25
go I've been kind of rolling the blood
1:15:26
and asphalt together into a sticky
1:15:28
maroon
1:15:29
ball see I thought you you left to be
1:15:32
hanging for
1:15:34
so I know that's that's the fun of it I
1:15:36
also I want to hear that joke in a
1:15:38
second too then I just said walk that is
1:15:41
funny though but it's good I know I
1:15:42
blood my hands cuz complicit and blah
1:15:44
blah blah I also come
1:15:46
blood I was like ready for like a
1:15:48
physical blood on your hands oh yeah
1:15:50
yeah it is it is a physical blood with
1:15:52
that with asphalt it is that's
1:15:55
understand that's funny I've got aspht
1:15:56
on my I've got blood on my hands cuz I'm
1:15:58
doing Meals on Wheels for
1:16:00
Dracula very nice oh my goodness Jimmy
1:16:03
Jimmy are you Jimmy saying Jimmy is such
1:16:07
a good shortcut cuz it could be so many
1:16:09
guys they're all named Jimmy Jim come on
1:16:11
that's the one
1:16:13
qualification Samantha
1:16:15
B rip I do have a is that not on anymore
1:16:19
no there's no way I love it more late
1:16:22
host Nam Jimmy than there are female
1:16:25
I've been working on a joke about the
1:16:27
concept of like black
1:16:29
mediocrity um and like it's slowly and
1:16:33
slowly yeah it's slowly and slowly
1:16:36
morphing into like this larger thing
1:16:38
that I might just wind up trying to
1:16:39
develop into a oneman show because I
1:16:41
think that like Dorian I think the idea
1:16:43
is like fundamentally I like seeing
1:16:46
black mediocrity at all levels like the
1:16:48
the part of the joke that's good
1:16:49
currently is I talk about how much I
1:16:51
love the NBA player Tony Snell oh okay
1:16:53
that the guy who like played 28 game 28
1:16:55
minutes in NBA game and didn't record a
1:16:57
single counting stat oh okay like that's
1:17:00
that's powerful to me that's but the
1:17:02
reason why I even started writing about
1:17:03
it is because I think that like if you
1:17:05
can defend like black mediocrity in its
1:17:10
entirety that's like how you justify
1:17:12
like no black person should ever be
1:17:14
killed by the police for no reason
1:17:16
that's why like every time somebody is
1:17:18
like killed by the police we're always
1:17:20
like he was a pillar of the community
1:17:21
what if he's not what if he's not a some
1:17:24
of these guys [ __ ] suck and they still
1:17:25
shouldn't have been killed by the police
1:17:27
yeah I don't care like right wiers bring
1:17:29
up like well George
1:17:30
Floy was a point star okay so he had a
1:17:33
big dick and he was also cool and he
1:17:35
died that sucked yeah it doesn't matter
1:17:37
what he did yeah and then the the
1:17:39
Counterpoint to that is like I feel like
1:17:41
white supremacy is an expression of
1:17:44
white like inferiority complexes where
1:17:47
they're like we have to feel Superior
1:17:49
and like they have they like have to
1:17:51
institutionalize their own superiority
1:17:53
CU they do not believe this can succeed
1:17:54
without it I think that like when white
1:17:56
people are like we need to get rid of
1:17:58
affirmative action but like keep Legacy
1:18:00
like stuff it's like they're they're
1:18:02
trying to say institutionally if
1:18:04
everything is equal we will fail and I
1:18:07
think that's pathetic and I think
1:18:09
there's something funny there yeah what
1:18:11
it is TBD we'll see it's all cven
1:18:15
politics it's all Vibes yes it's they
1:18:17
change their minds every [ __ ] five
1:18:18
weeks but then the grievance is still
1:18:20
there the the cruelty is still there do
1:18:22
you guys know any funny political
1:18:24
comedian I feel like Roy wood Jun let me
1:18:26
tell you about a
1:18:28
guy out John Oliver has some bits he
1:18:31
doesn't do stand up he used to he he
1:18:34
does like monolog I I also I mean maybe
1:18:37
you've seen my [ __ ] [ __ ] but I do
1:18:39
think that all comedy is political but I
1:18:42
know you mean explicitly though you mean
1:18:43
like people who are explicitly talk
1:18:44
talking about a guy cing his pants when
1:18:46
I grind on him yeah but I I think that
1:18:47
is you see I'm saying that's that's my
1:18:50
question in my mind I was like oh I
1:18:52
guess I have jokes about like abortion
1:18:54
and I think it is political that I do
1:18:55
not at any point like litigate whether
1:18:57
it was good or bad I actually mock the
1:18:59
idea that I would litigate that or like
1:19:01
I have jokes about like the way gay men
1:19:02
look at women's bodies that's kind of
1:19:04
political but I think that in order I
1:19:06
don't know in order to say anything
1:19:09
shocking I feel like to do good
1:19:10
political humor Days A lot of times it's
1:19:13
like it I feel like the audience is just
1:19:15
like we agree like I don't know I feel
1:19:18
like someone needs to say something
1:19:19
truly like new or they have to make it
1:19:22
personal it's like how do we take a
1:19:24
public idea and translate it to the
1:19:27
personal experience or even just in
1:19:30
Benny's example of the joke you just
1:19:31
told like is the political thing the
1:19:33
premise that you're exploring or is it
1:19:34
like the shock or punch line that you're
1:19:36
landing on like if your joke was in a
1:19:37
different order it's like no you use the
1:19:39
fact that like your tax dolls are being
1:19:41
exploited to kill innocent kids that's
1:19:43
the premise and then you say a Twist at
1:19:45
the end and I think some people uh
1:19:47
especially like newer like Open Mic
1:19:49
whatever will say a thing and be like
1:19:51
and blah blah blah so Israel and it's
1:19:53
like you for the twist you forgot the
1:19:55
twist we all agree with you whatever you
1:19:58
just said I agree with you now explore
1:20:00
that I mean that that's like Seth Myers
1:20:02
has a definition of clap here that is
1:20:04
not just like L shut Seth get this man
1:20:06
on Seth I know you're watching Seth yeah
1:20:10
the clapter I feel like a lot of
1:20:12
political human is clapter like he does
1:20:15
like his definition that he offers of it
1:20:16
is not just like doing comedy expecting
1:20:19
claps instead of laughter it's like
1:20:20
doing politics for people who agree with
1:20:23
you I feel like it's really really
1:20:25
difficult not to do that especially in
1:20:27
New York City CU it's like I'll tell my
1:20:30
jokes that like have my political
1:20:31
perspective in Kansas City and like
1:20:33
sometimes people be like you're doing
1:20:34
clapter here and I'm like yeah but I'm
1:20:36
saying that gay [ __ ] to Kansas City
1:20:38
people too yeah like just mentioning
1:20:40
something is exposing people to it yeah
1:20:42
yes you have to hide it you have to hide
1:20:44
the truth in some uh some
1:20:47
chocolate you got oh I'm sorry if they
1:20:49
clapped and laughed I'm sorry if they
1:20:51
[ __ ] loved it and laughed and clapped
1:20:54
oh
1:20:55
Inc when I was a kid my mom told me no
1:20:58
when I was a kid recently my mom told me
1:21:00
when you were a boy uh I had an abortion
1:21:02
how does that make you feel and I was
1:21:04
like well I feel
1:21:05
great whole time I thought I was the
1:21:07
only child turns out I'm the
1:21:10
favorite I love that they walk out like
1:21:12
thinking oh it's funny to laugh like
1:21:14
that's not really that big of a deal and
1:21:16
I think that that's like layers removed
1:21:18
from who gives a [ __ ] if you have an
1:21:19
abortion doesn't [ __ ] matter yeah
1:21:21
well I'm wondering like so you have the
1:21:23
very funny Joe Biden impression and I'm
1:21:24
wondering like do you feel different
1:21:26
kinds of audiences laughing at that
1:21:28
differently uh no so I'm going to rework
1:21:31
it to do it the way I did at joke
1:21:32
funeral you didn't bust it out right now
1:21:34
let's I liked it at joke funeral well
1:21:36
because I do hate him now and when I
1:21:38
wrote it nobody [ __ ] did everybody
1:21:40
kind of didn't hate him in 2020 early
1:21:42
2022 and 2023 even people didn't really
1:21:46
hate him yet so did you think that
1:21:48
making him really really awful foreign
1:21:51
policy president and it became very
1:21:53
clear yeah after like the situation Goa
1:21:55
es you're saying the the public opinion
1:21:58
changed but the joke stay the same but
1:22:00
now people the most was not because of
1:22:03
Gaza because most audiences don't really
1:22:07
aren't that politically engaged so they
1:22:09
just think oh that's over there but what
1:22:11
changed was um when he like sh his pants
1:22:13
in the
1:22:16
debate yeah it wasn't as funny well
1:22:19
versus when you first started doing it
1:22:21
it was like liberals you can support him
1:22:22
and also like laugh at what a ridiculous
1:22:25
he wasn't really like oh man he's going
1:22:27
to die like it wasn't that bad he was
1:22:29
just like you know sometimes you have
1:22:31
that sometimes you
1:22:34
do we felt I think we felt lied to too
1:22:36
we were like oh he's he's been like this
1:22:38
and they have like people have been
1:22:40
saying it behind the scenes people have
1:22:41
been like trying to point it out and
1:22:42
they've be like no he's good and then
1:22:43
like we got to see an hour of him go and
1:22:47
now people do hate him so much that I
1:22:48
think it is going to be funny again so
1:22:50
rework it that is true cuz it is like
1:22:53
it's a it's a
1:22:55
it's a sweet joke like like the things
1:22:58
he's saying like the green man going to
1:22:59
get you whatever it's like it's the joke
1:23:01
is very like it's Goofy and then it's
1:23:03
like well oh well you don't want to make
1:23:06
him palatable now yeah I can't really be
1:23:08
like oh Jo here's my impression of Joe
1:23:10
Biden he's just like in a [ __ ] like
1:23:12
you know metal smelting chamber dying
1:23:15
like can't do that in a metal smelting
1:23:18
to I also I want to get one of those
1:23:21
after this Netanyahu and Joe Biden walk
1:23:24
in with little
1:23:25
smelting and I turn it
1:23:28
on bartender says the usual and then he
1:23:30
kills and Bs with
1:23:34
fire I you can't really do that you got
1:23:37
like you have a little twist in there
1:23:39
you got have a little little sugar for
1:23:41
the pill favorite slow dive songs little
1:23:43
you know you know that ancient Samaran
1:23:45
joke with the dog walks into the bar and
1:23:47
opens it okay so what if you know that
1:23:49
joke you just told where it's like they
1:23:50
walk into that smelter and the BART what
1:23:52
if that joke is like a weird meta hyper
1:23:56
referential extremely needs the context
1:23:59
political like that was like the
1:24:01
funniest guy in
1:24:04
Su I I hope they invented writing for
1:24:07
that guy there was he said that and like
1:24:10
figure out the letter figure he said
1:24:13
that stood
1:24:14
up [ __ ] one guy in the I got some clay
1:24:17
I'm making
1:24:18
symol that's like ironic Detachment not
1:24:21
for
1:24:22
me that's like a BCC they must have had
1:24:26
they must have had like irony they
1:24:28
Iron's been around yeah they must have
1:24:30
been like um if there's a situation you
1:24:32
can be ironic about it yeah this is my
1:24:34
impression of sheep when it's night time
1:24:37
and they're like I don't know they do
1:24:39
some sort of thing started do you think
1:24:40
when we were like monkeys like we just
1:24:42
tickled each other and that was it that
1:24:44
was like CU it feels more inborn and
1:24:47
like like that was our way of showing
1:24:49
each other that we weren't like a threat
1:24:51
a cuz like it's it's benign violation
1:24:54
Theory just like love Ben violation
1:24:56
Theory touching me but they're not
1:24:57
hurting me and that makes me laugh so I
1:24:59
wonder if like you know 200,000 300,000
1:25:01
years ago that's what we did to like
1:25:03
show hey I'm a friend I'm I'm I'm I'm a
1:25:05
friend I'm hanging out with you we
1:25:07
didn't have like words and then someone
1:25:08
Meed sarcasm and they were like we have
1:25:10
kill
1:25:11
that so that's a
1:25:13
thing was that you being like a caveman
1:25:16
yeah Jos Sweden
1:25:21
caveman I think we can like Trace when
1:25:23
we would split off from other animals by
1:25:26
which animals also like being tickled
1:25:27
monkeys a lot of lot chimps like love
1:25:30
and they laugh too yeah and elephants
1:25:32
can play jokes elephants yeah they're
1:25:33
they're a smart animal dolphins can also
1:25:36
dolphins are complex creatures yeah you
1:25:40
want to get into that you talking about
1:25:41
the sex stuff yeah they're they're bad
1:25:43
guys yeah they're really into ball
1:25:46
gags one for the one for the mouth with
1:25:48
the blow hole
1:25:51
[Laughter]
1:25:54
tie up its
1:25:56
fins the money store cover but it's like
1:25:59
dolphins yeah nobody knows what I'm
1:26:01
talking no I was thinking about a a
1:26:04
bondage joke and I just thought about
1:26:05
like turtle stuck in litter and I got
1:26:09
sad my kind of went from a to d and I
1:26:11
bummed myself no I like it's Turtle it's
1:26:13
a turtler in a leather plastic ring yes
1:26:16
that's what I'm picturing a leather ring
1:26:18
that's that's
1:26:21
good I uh my thought on Bine violation
1:26:24
theories I think it's like I think it's
1:26:27
really good and accurate for like
1:26:28
specifically like when you're making fun
1:26:30
of somebody how to not do it too far how
1:26:33
to not do it too little but I think it's
1:26:35
like people are like and that explains
1:26:37
all the comedy and I'm like no what
1:26:39
about like hyperbole you know what I
1:26:40
mean like I think it's like there's like
1:26:41
it's like a it explains a subset really
1:26:43
well but not the whole thing I had I
1:26:45
learned it all before I like knew I
1:26:47
wanted to do stand up and this was a big
1:26:48
clue I was obsessed with humor theories
1:26:50
and all that kind of stuff and I was
1:26:52
just like a very like validator like the
1:26:55
academic type person so like my entrance
1:26:57
into comedy was like that's why like
1:26:59
writing onion headlines is the first
1:27:00
thing I ever did before I did any
1:27:01
standup I was like I feel smart about
1:27:03
this but anyways my one of my most
1:27:04
influential professors this like very
1:27:06
strict German man um who's very funny
1:27:09
and like a dry pun based way he and I
1:27:12
like talk I was like a TA and like we
1:27:14
traveled Europe together like very close
1:27:15
with this professor the only time I've
1:27:17
ever been able to like stump him with
1:27:19
anything is we were talking about benign
1:27:20
violation Theory and I was basically he
1:27:23
was like explaining how and why you can
1:27:24
make fun of different groups of people
1:27:25
and then I'm like can you make fun of
1:27:27
someone for being ugly something outside
1:27:30
of their control but they're pretty much
1:27:31
they are ugly looking can you make fun
1:27:33
of that is that okay and he could not
1:27:35
explain it away and it was like the
1:27:36
first time I ever stumped him I like and
1:27:38
I thought it was it was very interesting
1:27:40
cuz it didn't it it didn't go with any
1:27:42
of the BBT stuff yeah and also like when
1:27:45
we were doing the thing about Joe Biden
1:27:46
and Netanyahu they're getting burned a
1:27:48
lot than a SMY gy it's not benign so
1:27:50
like the I but it is benign cuz we can't
1:27:53
get to them could say theity softens it
1:27:56
I guess but I I do think yeah you're
1:27:59
absolutely right there's no unifying
1:28:00
well I mean maybe there is a unify I'm
1:28:02
working on it I love that I am actually
1:28:04
that's my that's my wholeo that's the
1:28:07
they know that wait I have a paper from
1:28:09
this professor that isn't published so I
1:28:10
can't technically sh I'll be honest with
1:28:12
you I'm not interested really yeah I'm
1:28:14
way I'm way out of uh far gone yeah then
1:28:19
what are you
1:28:20
doing uh I got my own thing going I want
1:28:24
no um maybe okay I spent like the last
1:28:28
like decade and a half like working on
1:28:30
Comedy Theory stuff and I've read all
1:28:32
the stuff that's out there okay yeah and
1:28:34
I'm working on my own system of it wait
1:28:37
I love this that's what I teach in my
1:28:39
class really yeah you [ __ ] know I do
1:28:42
I your writers right I took your class
1:28:45
it helped me a lot started started the
1:28:47
reveal but no no it it was a good class
1:28:49
I I like really like I meant sry less
1:28:52
that you in the class and more the
1:28:53
reveal that I'm doing the theory stuff
1:28:54
cuz I kind of I keep that close to my
1:28:56
pocket cuz I think it's like um I think
1:28:59
I don't know it's a little bit like I
1:29:01
don't know kind of he kind of Vibes and
1:29:04
like not relatable for a lot of people
1:29:06
but you guys you guys you were talking
1:29:09
about it you were like I do it so I'm
1:29:10
like yo that's what I've been doing um
1:29:12
and also hearing that you took this
1:29:13
class I feel like just opened the door
1:29:14
for me because I was like it would be
1:29:15
weird for Benny if I was in that class I
1:29:17
didn't know who took it and no you're
1:29:19
good hop on in dude hop on in Benny's
1:29:22
class helped me and so did Judy Carter
1:29:24
new comedy Bible it helped me get out of
1:29:26
the rut it's all you got to do is like
1:29:30
like inject some
1:29:31
attitude not like not some tude but like
1:29:35
you're afraid or you're scared or this
1:29:37
like don't and I think it just kind of
1:29:39
put it into my brain like you don't have
1:29:40
to write something down that's
1:29:42
automatically funny like if you want to
1:29:44
start writing like think about things
1:29:45
that make you feel a certain way and
1:29:47
then elaborate on that so like not this
1:29:50
is not gossiping because I'm going to
1:29:52
say something kind about a person uh
1:29:54
allly Lawrence who co-host Meredith Mike
1:29:57
I love Alie like Ally is like outside so
1:30:02
polite and sweet and almost always on
1:30:04
stage very polite and sweet every time
1:30:07
she tells a joke that has any amount of
1:30:10
bite to it it is like so hilarious and
1:30:13
jarring cuz it's like I forget you can
1:30:16
dislike
1:30:17
things and she's gotten I've talked to
1:30:19
her about it she's gotten more strategic
1:30:21
with it over the year and we save like
1:30:23
saying the word [ __ ] for like a a
1:30:25
heightened moment um and it's always
1:30:28
puning up and it's always like so many
1:30:30
of her jokes are like about her she's
1:30:31
like talking like this is out fire and
1:30:33
like it's about her being like walked
1:30:34
all over and then she'll just be like
1:30:36
[ __ ] me then and it like the shock of
1:30:39
it's amazing she's created so much
1:30:41
tension by being a sweetheart that the
1:30:43
second she's like a tiny bit has that
1:30:46
bite it's like such a relief it's really
1:30:48
funny I think there's a Common Thread of
1:30:50
her being like you can see immediately
1:30:52
when you meet her hear her that she's
1:30:54
someone that keeps in all the she's not
1:30:57
outwardly rude or no whatever what she's
1:30:59
feeling she'll present and her jokes a
1:31:01
lot of them are about exposing how she
1:31:03
really feels inside having to bottle all
1:31:06
that up and being like okay shout friend
1:31:09
the Pod shout out sweetest we love you
1:31:13
want to hear the I want to I just want
1:31:15
to tell you guys real quick want to hear
1:31:16
the theory real quick yes give the
1:31:18
shortest snippet I'll give you the I'll
1:31:20
give you the most most digestible form
1:31:22
of the class possible
1:31:24
at the top of we got comedy we got our
1:31:26
response to Comedy which is the two we
1:31:28
got internal which is how we feel about
1:31:30
it and we have the external which is the
1:31:32
laughter internal is going to be does it
1:31:34
feel good we get that pleasure and also
1:31:36
any other emotion we could possibly have
1:31:37
you could be sad and also find it funny
1:31:39
or whatever then the external you got
1:31:41
that quick you can laugh or not uh you
1:31:43
can make any sort of noise that shows
1:31:44
kind of how you felt about it you can
1:31:45
also lie you know maybe somebody you
1:31:47
don't want them to think that you liked
1:31:49
it or maybe you do want them think you
1:31:50
liked it you can laugh in different ways
1:31:51
anyway but then we got comedy two main
1:31:53
parts we got structure we got emotion
1:31:56
the structure part that's going to be
1:31:57
stuff like metaphor hyperbole Etc uh the
1:32:00
main three parts of structure are we've
1:32:02
got Concepts uh any sort of idea then
1:32:05
you can play with Concepts you can do
1:32:06
different manipulations such as
1:32:08
hyperbolizing them such as comparing
1:32:11
them such as patterns and doing pattern
1:32:13
projections and then that ultimately has
1:32:15
to lead to certain resolutions which are
1:32:18
uh things like ambiguity or
1:32:20
contradictions stuff like that or
1:32:21
Paradox uh which is a type of
1:32:22
contradiction and then we got the
1:32:24
emotion side which is going to be three
1:32:26
layers we've got uh the main content
1:32:28
which is going to be what is it about is
1:32:29
it about ladybugs is it about poop
1:32:31
people feel different ways about
1:32:32
different things and then we've got uh
1:32:34
context which is going to be what's the
1:32:35
situation who what where when why how
1:32:37
and then we've got the subtext which is
1:32:39
uh who are we making fun of or who are
1:32:41
we uplifting and what or what and why
1:32:43
and how what are we assigning status
1:32:45
that's where benign violation Theory
1:32:46
comes in um and then we got a second
1:32:48
layer of subtext which is how do people
1:32:50
feel about us doing that cuz if you make
1:32:53
yourself look dumb people don't go oh
1:32:55
yes they're dumb they go haha that's
1:32:58
funny you know what I mean anyway that's
1:32:59
the end of that that's everything I
1:33:02
adore that I love it I feel like it
1:33:05
explains things where people will say
1:33:06
something about like well comedians
1:33:09
can't say anything like why can't I say
1:33:10
that and be able to like point to a
1:33:11
chart and be like you could if you had
1:33:13
done this dude I'm trying that's what
1:33:14
I'm doing on Twitter all the [ __ ]
1:33:16
time I'm going like [ __ ] I
1:33:19
appreciate here's what you can do to fix
1:33:21
that is important it is true it's
1:33:24
also you have to ask who sometimes
1:33:27
people say Lou got away with saying the
1:33:28
n word and I'm like no he didn't
1:33:30
surrounded by but he didn't get away
1:33:32
with it it also depends on who you're
1:33:33
asking if he got away with it all the
1:33:35
white like everybody who tells me he
1:33:36
gets away with it is a white person
1:33:37
everybody who's a black person who tells
1:33:38
me to get away with it which friends
1:33:40
with him before like yeah if I'm a
1:33:42
famous person who can get something from
1:33:44
Louie and you put me on the spot I might
1:33:46
not be willing to put myself out there
1:33:48
but you didn't get away with it he's
1:33:50
just the people who could have called
1:33:52
him out didn't oh I think that's an
1:33:54
important are you for the documentary or
1:33:56
for the joke the
1:33:58
joke yeah that's interesting I I don't
1:34:00
think he got away with I like open it's
1:34:01
a good joke like if white people thought
1:34:02
he got away with it that's not getting
1:34:04
away with it that's a good point yeah
1:34:06
which I hadn't thought about it that way
1:34:07
too I'm like oh he got away with it cuz
1:34:08
he calling you a honky under my breath
1:34:10
no I a honky I'm very much a honky I
1:34:13
meant to say it out loud whole chest do
1:34:15
you think maybe he got away with it at
1:34:16
the time and it just didn't age well for
1:34:18
like how we kind of talk about these
1:34:20
words now I fully don't think he got
1:34:22
away with it because I remember my mom
1:34:23
not [ __ ] with him at the time all
1:34:25
right my dad didn't [ __ ] with him and
1:34:27
your my D um she's actually a Latina you
1:34:32
wish what do you mean by that you wish
1:34:36
your mom was a fig
1:34:38
Latina mommy no D doesn't have a type A
1:34:41
type has
1:34:42
him have me thank you for letting me
1:34:45
rant at you guys by the way that was not
1:34:47
a rant at all and thank you for sharing
1:34:49
it I kind of mansplain to someone cuz at
1:34:51
a might they like their joke didn't work
1:34:53
and then it was about Luigi and then
1:34:54
after I was talking to him and I was
1:34:56
like yeah his joke was basically like oh
1:34:58
Luigi did this that would be like if
1:34:59
Hitler did that he just made an analogy
1:35:01
and I was like you're you you're Pro
1:35:03
Luigi right and he's like yeah and I was
1:35:04
like then why are you comparing him to
1:35:05
Hitler and he's like I'm not comparing
1:35:07
him to Hitler I was like that's you're
1:35:09
wonder and he didn't even realize he's
1:35:11
like no I just I was saying it's like
1:35:13
this I'm not comparing it I'm just using
1:35:16
like or as to draw connection between
1:35:18
them and and then I was like okay that
1:35:20
aside like you ass is a comparison yeah
1:35:24
I was like you do realize that that's
1:35:25
like the first Pancake like everyone
1:35:27
knows that like comparing something to
1:35:28
Hitler is like the first bad idea that
1:35:30
everyone has and he was like what love
1:35:32
that first pancake first Pancake that's
1:35:34
a great way to describe it to people
1:35:36
yeah first Pancake is like the first
1:35:37
Pancake is always kind of shitty like
1:35:38
your first idea is always kind of the
1:35:39
low hanging fruit not always but like
1:35:41
it's you got to push through and think
1:35:43
of even more the top hanging pancake
1:35:45
yeah well sound do agree I was being I
1:35:49
was you being so generous to be like
1:35:52
pissed but I was like wow this person
1:35:54
doesn't have like CU I'm not even on
1:35:56
your level of knowing half the like I
1:35:58
don't know benign whatever but like I
1:36:00
was just like stating the obvious and he
1:36:01
was like what are you talking about can
1:36:03
I tell you I'm actually and then he's
1:36:05
like I just see like when I do comedy
1:36:06
like my ideas are like so big that it's
1:36:08
hard to like and I was
1:36:10
like we're g to after the pod's over I'm
1:36:12
going to need the name I'm going to need
1:36:14
the name I'm more impressed by cuz I
1:36:17
have to use my systems to write a joke
1:36:20
so I'm more impressed by like when
1:36:22
people don't have systems like you just
1:36:24
have some intuitive understanding of
1:36:27
Comedy which like I I couldn't I was not
1:36:31
funny it makes I was unfunny until I
1:36:33
like clawed my I think it's
1:36:35
unsustainable in a sense cuz like I was
1:36:36
a person who like when I started I would
1:36:38
just get like struck by like something
1:36:41
and I'd be like that's a joke and then
1:36:44
it would all come together very fast and
1:36:46
as I've gone on it's like I need a
1:36:48
system because that doesn't you can't
1:36:49
rely on that that means that like
1:36:51
sometimes sometimes I'm trying to get
1:36:52
back to that me too I I just accept that
1:36:55
that is going to happen sometimes but I
1:36:57
need a system to keep being creative so
1:37:00
that when I'm not getting struck all the
1:37:01
time I still have new stuff sometimes
1:37:03
the best jokes come cuz I am very writer
1:37:05
like I'm always editing but sometimes
1:37:08
I'm just talking to someone and I say
1:37:09
something and then they're like that's a
1:37:10
joke and I'm like and those people are
1:37:12
like there's only a couple people in
1:37:14
your life that are actually right
1:37:15
everyone else because you're comedian
1:37:17
they'll be like that's you write that
1:37:18
down and you're I'm like I promise you
1:37:20
it's not but like oh my God I had
1:37:22
something that recently like my mom it's
1:37:24
just every word she's like but some
1:37:26
people are right and they're they've led
1:37:28
to me some of my best jokes because they
1:37:30
were just like that is a joke and I was
1:37:32
like it is I'm just talking you know but
1:37:34
then you probably were leading with an
1:37:35
emotion that was is then why it is a
1:37:37
joke but it's like someone's like oh
1:37:39
you're you have a perspective on this
1:37:41
that's a joke versus like but I'm like
1:37:42
there's no writerly punchline it's just
1:37:44
me talking it's like but that'll come my
1:37:47
grandma likes to tell me stories where
1:37:48
she does a bad thing to somebody and
1:37:50
then she's like this is a joke right I'm
1:37:52
like
1:37:54
Grand dude is really mean to a lady
1:37:57
absolutely her friends thought she got
1:37:59
away with it the only other thing I
1:38:01
wanted to say no there about structure
1:38:04
is I do I might not use as much as you
1:38:07
but I do use it to the extent of like
1:38:08
right now I'm trying to avoid metaphors
1:38:10
and I've said that to a few person they
1:38:12
get really defensive not even telling
1:38:13
them to do it just like they'll try to
1:38:15
like give me an idea for how to uh fix a
1:38:18
joke or like make it better and they'll
1:38:19
be like what if you compared it to this
1:38:20
and I was like oh I'm actually avoiding
1:38:22
metaphors right now why are youing
1:38:24
um cuz I think it's a crutch for me
1:38:26
right now not for everybody I just think
1:38:28
like I started noticing a pattern where
1:38:29
I kept coming up
1:38:31
with that's powerful that is I'm
1:38:34
avoiding metaphors because they are like
1:38:35
a crutch that's
1:38:38
Sim I didn't want to say they are crutch
1:38:40
cuz I don't want to offend anyone that
1:38:41
be a metaphor if you said they are a
1:38:43
crutch that would I just don't want to
1:38:45
make a blanket statement yeah yeah no no
1:38:47
no I'm just Ming for me and I have I
1:38:50
have also watched people whether it's
1:38:52
like famous people or someone I know
1:38:53
where they don't realize they've done
1:38:54
like 10 metaphors in a row oh I had a
1:38:57
moment during I did a half hour the
1:38:58
other day and I think the biggest laugh
1:39:00
I got the whole night was when I
1:39:02
realized doing all my jokes for hitting
1:39:05
the 30 minute Mark and I was like every
1:39:07
single one of my p uh jokes has the
1:39:09
exact same Rhythm and Cadence and I did
1:39:11
an impression on myself and I was like
1:39:13
and it it hit really hard cuz for 30
1:39:15
minutes everyone just heard me
1:39:19
go every single one of my jokes is like
1:39:22
I'm not gay D I like when you do I if I
1:39:25
had to do an impression view it would be
1:39:28
like I I growl at all my punch lines I'm
1:39:33
like um this is my impression of
1:39:39
you saying to an audience member oh she
1:39:42
likes it she likes it the only other
1:39:46
thing I was thinking of but no yeah I'm
1:39:47
like I need to figure out a different
1:39:49
but that's what I'm like interpersonally
1:39:50
I'm like I'm like
1:39:54
and I need to like break that CU some
1:39:56
things are
1:39:57
style some things some things are style
1:39:59
it was just funny in the moment to do
1:40:03
and I also think that that's also part
1:40:04
of my thing is like being
1:40:05
self-deprecating and being self-aware
1:40:07
and I don't try to like litigate how hot
1:40:09
I am on stage it's bit of a butterface
1:40:11
but would smash everybody knows no but
1:40:13
I'm like I do think that people are like
1:40:16
to say that elephant in the room of like
1:40:18
all right everyone was hearing that all
1:40:19
my jokes sound the exact same like I
1:40:21
really liked bringing that up and it
1:40:22
felt very it felt so satisfying for to
1:40:25
have everyone like be like wa that's
1:40:27
exactly what you sound like I think
1:40:29
that's a recognition thing I think if
1:40:31
you get if you get Su sucessful enough
1:40:33
or you're out long enough I think people
1:40:35
should be able to do an impression of
1:40:36
you for sure my impression you can do
1:40:39
them oh yeah I oh I do weather man oh
1:40:43
for sure oh totally the Chicago thing is
1:40:45
to do or like to have your finger go up
1:40:49
in Chicago Comics like not not like all
1:40:52
of them but you'll you'll see that I
1:40:54
think a Brooklyn thing is to I deliver
1:40:56
your punch line ironically and go like
1:40:59
eyes up and shake your head I didn't
1:41:01
want to say it but like the Cadence you
1:41:03
pointed out for yourself I can also name
1:41:04
three other Brooklyn women Comics to do
1:41:06
exactly that are they copying me which
1:41:08
ones you can sometimes tell who question
1:41:11
some sometimes people you can tell who
1:41:12
originated it I think I think are one of
1:41:15
the preditors of it I think there people
1:41:17
who started doing comedy around you who
1:41:20
do that kind of Rhythm Brit yeah um
1:41:24
Brit would be one Murdoch would be
1:41:25
another yeah this is so funny because
1:41:27
Jay used to say that all broken Comics
1:41:29
were doing an impression of Alex Murdoch
1:41:30
and I was like I that's funny that you
1:41:31
think she's because Murdock is doing an
1:41:32
impression of you no I don't think so I
1:41:35
I I think I think you two have like I
1:41:37
think Point we've never been on a lineup
1:41:38
together so everyone agreed that
1:41:40
everyone's doing an impression of Kate
1:41:41
Berlant in Brooklyn yes I think
1:41:43
everyone's doing but seeing Rory
1:41:45
Scoville the other day I was like well
1:41:46
that's that cat Cohen also yeah yes I
1:41:49
think it was so funny cuz I'm like oh
1:41:50
I'm always like these people are doing
1:41:51
an impression of cat Cohen and and I'm
1:41:53
like if any of the people who are doing
1:41:55
Kat cone Impressions watched comedy they
1:41:57
would know I'm doing an impression of
1:41:58
Rory Scoville but none of them go to I
1:42:02
went to the ninth I went to the 10th and
1:42:04
it was the best one damn damn it was so
1:42:07
good he got really vulnerable and he's
1:42:09
not that kind of comic and it was like
1:42:11
kind of crazy about what well I don't
1:42:14
want to give it away but like an
1:42:15
improvised night I mean if you know
1:42:16
where Scoville obviously like he's a
1:42:18
silly goofy guy and he did 10 nights of
1:42:21
comedy in Brooklyn totally improvised
1:42:23
if you don't know Inc
1:42:26
guy and he's just improvising and a lot
1:42:28
of his comedy silly and then on the 10th
1:42:30
night he was like he came out and I was
1:42:32
kind of worried cuz he was like guys why
1:42:34
did you choose to come to the 10th night
1:42:36
I'm emotionally physically broken he
1:42:38
came out he was like visibly distressed
1:42:40
and like down and he was like talking
1:42:42
about the election he never talks about
1:42:44
politics really he's always really like
1:42:46
kind of silly right I don't know how you
1:42:48
would describe it no big F and so he
1:42:50
touched on politics he touched on like
1:42:52
family Tri
1:42:53
like things about his parents like
1:42:55
things that no one I don't think he's
1:42:57
ever talked about and it was not planned
1:43:00
and Eric was filming he's another comic
1:43:02
he was doing camera that night so he's
1:43:03
been to a bunch of the nights and I
1:43:04
asked him after I was like did he do any
1:43:06
of this stuff he was like No And that
1:43:08
was incredible like I cannot believe he
1:43:10
just came up with that stuff and found a
1:43:12
way to make it funny even though it's so
1:43:13
incredibly sad I teared up at one point
1:43:16
I am an easy CER though I I teared up at
1:43:18
the end of Ronnie Chang special the
1:43:19
other day I'll cry at anything dude I
1:43:22
love that hint of anything I'll cry but
1:43:26
I was so happy because I did an hour
1:43:29
show after the election literally the
1:43:31
week after the election and I was in
1:43:33
such a bad place oh W was me I know but
1:43:36
I really was just in a bad mental space
1:43:38
and I did my hour and I'm proud of
1:43:39
myself but I had a kind of like and I
1:43:41
watched the tape back my energy wasn't
1:43:43
as bummer as I thought it was but it
1:43:45
just wasn't as what I would have liked
1:43:48
and I was like man like someone like
1:43:49
Rory or someone like whatever would go
1:43:51
up there and be silly goofy and like not
1:43:54
carry that and then to see him do that
1:43:56
and I told him after the show I was like
1:43:58
seeing you do that made me feel so much
1:44:01
better about I've been feeling so guilty
1:44:03
for like giving people a show where I
1:44:06
was kind of a Down only the only thing I
1:44:07
regret now about that show is that I
1:44:09
didn't just say what I was down about
1:44:12
you're right yeah cuz I had all this
1:44:14
material planned and a lot of it does
1:44:15
touch on like dark subjects but I I
1:44:18
should have at some point just
1:44:19
acknowledged like hey I'm bummed out cuz
1:44:21
of trump and like but I didn't know how
1:44:23
to talk about cuz Trump is such a like
1:44:25
what it's so worn to bits the idea and
1:44:28
the word Trump that it almost feels like
1:44:30
saying it is cliche it's like but it's
1:44:33
still a real emotion yeah the way I've
1:44:35
been going about talking about it is
1:44:37
like whenever I'm in places where
1:44:40
everybody already agrees it's bad I can
1:44:43
just be like we all know it's bad I'm
1:44:44
going still get my [ __ ] off and then if
1:44:46
I'm in places where people like Trump
1:44:48
I'll be like you guys won don't get mad
1:44:50
at me you're being sore losers if you're
1:44:51
mad at me [ __ ] your guy and I realize
1:44:54
it's not even Trump that I'm mad at
1:44:56
whatever he's him I was it was this
1:44:58
Collective disappointment in people
1:45:00
across the world across our country this
1:45:03
kind of hopeless feeling of like how
1:45:05
could you fall for this and how could
1:45:07
you like how could men not do better
1:45:10
yeah and just having an audience full of
1:45:12
men because my audience on Instagram is
1:45:13
mostly men I just felt like they're not
1:45:15
going to get it they probably voted for
1:45:17
I don't know who they voted for that's
1:45:19
what [ __ ] punch in the face
1:45:23
no it is true to be like what am I why
1:45:26
am I performing for you guys right now
1:45:27
what do you like about me it was kind of
1:45:29
f up people came and paid to see me and
1:45:32
I don't even know what their thoughts
1:45:33
are but I know oh Adrian Dorian why do I
1:45:36
always Mi okay I have dyslexia where I
1:45:38
mix up Dorian Adrian Dorian performed on
1:45:40
my show and you briefly mentioned Trump
1:45:42
or the election and the audience reacted
1:45:45
weird and that was kind of my signal
1:45:47
that they're like not all on the same
1:45:49
political side as me so to me it's like
1:45:52
I think part of it's like I started
1:45:53
doing comedy in St Louis and Kansas and
1:45:55
occasionally I would do shows not for
1:45:58
liberals so I think that I'm very
1:46:01
comfortable with an audience not
1:46:03
agreeing with me politically and then
1:46:06
showing them my
1:46:08
disdain like I think that sometimes
1:46:10
people are like yeah we don't agree
1:46:11
politically but that's fine I'm very
1:46:13
comfortable with being like I'm still
1:46:15
going to be funny for you but [ __ ] what
1:46:16
you think I really dislike how you think
1:46:19
watch Family Guy and they know it's not
1:46:20
pro Trump yes you 100% like it's one of
1:46:24
most antitrump show as long as you're
1:46:26
being so true the Cog I think a lot of
1:46:29
times we're really afraid that people
1:46:31
who disagree with us will not engage
1:46:33
with us if we reveal our disagreement I
1:46:37
think a lot of times they can probably
1:46:38
ascertain where you are yeah like unless
1:46:41
they're shocked that you're liberal
1:46:43
they're not going to be mad at you if
1:46:44
you like talk how you about how you feel
1:46:46
that's the Finesse is like it's like
1:46:49
guiding them down a dark road that
1:46:51
they've seen before like that you're
1:46:53
kind of they can kind of agree with the
1:46:55
beginning but they're a little hesitant
1:46:57
and if you can get them to actually walk
1:46:58
through it I think that's when you get a
1:47:00
real laugh don't hit him with a semi
1:47:02
truck of your ideas
1:47:05
and kind she just said she's trying to
1:47:08
quit she just guys hold me accountable
1:47:11
slap
1:47:12
me also I was going to say Nate M friend
1:47:15
friend of the Pod uh he yeah
1:47:19
yeah he on stage and was like I hate uh
1:47:23
people make jokes about Trump like he's
1:47:25
some sort of cartoon after I had just
1:47:27
gone on and done Trump describing minion
1:47:30
and then he was like I mean not not
1:47:33
Adams wait what was his point it was it
1:47:36
was a pretty funny P I don't know I've
1:47:38
seen down with tech he's good a great
1:47:41
special very good very nice guy okay
1:47:43
it's like making fun of like the tech
1:47:45
companies and all that it's fun I like
1:47:47
it it's is very funny I you can yeah I I
1:47:50
think he's yeah just hilarious and James
1:47:52
Austin Johnson I think figured out how
1:47:54
to make him funny just have him talk
1:47:55
about something that isn't politics yes
1:47:58
yes 100% I actually don't know I don't
1:48:01
know how to do uh self emotional stuff
1:48:04
on stage like I you notic I have noticed
1:48:08
a th% and talked about it behind your
1:48:10
back no kid I just mean I have I think
1:48:14
people I think you at least in like my
1:48:17
like baby Brooklyn Open Mic scene like
1:48:19
you get used as an example for like um
1:48:22
whether or not people to talk about
1:48:23
themselves especially when I think
1:48:24
Brooklyn micers so many of them come
1:48:26
from a feeder kid background of
1:48:28
everything that happened in my life has
1:48:29
been quirky and people like tell a story
1:48:32
that would be cute at Thanksgiving but
1:48:33
isn't standup and then I think you get
1:48:35
used of like what you I was so scathing
1:48:38
and so casually flipping I was like is
1:48:41
no one going to clock out that's what I
1:48:43
think I read so good I say that call is
1:48:46
coming from inside the house I am that
1:48:48
that is my house those are my best
1:48:50
friends we all out a lot of us outgrew
1:48:52
with yeah not everyone okay it's how
1:48:54
people come it's 22-year-old you don't
1:48:56
do it now that you tell stories that are
1:48:58
cute at Thanksgiving but I love that
1:49:00
sorry continue but it is it is exactly
1:49:02
how I started out like my first set I my
1:49:04
first like year stand up I was so bad
1:49:06
cuz I was like and then this thing
1:49:08
happened to me in middle school and
1:49:09
everyone's like who I know you're
1:49:11
holding a microphone but who cares who
1:49:12
are you like I just like came out stand
1:49:15
up like really not a student of comedy
1:49:16
at all and then I think Benny gets used
1:49:18
as an example of like what if a handsome
1:49:21
fellow
1:49:23
I think people who aren't students of
1:49:24
ComEd you were a beautiful man what if
1:49:26
you were a beautiful man it's
1:49:28
interesting because I Ben hears a hat
1:49:30
sorry I think your com is very personal
1:49:32
I appreciate that I mean it's it's
1:49:34
personal it's personal in the sense of
1:49:36
like you know it's coming I like
1:49:38
ladybugs I like whatever but it's not
1:49:40
like there's certain like emotional
1:49:42
places that I'm not going to that I
1:49:44
maybe maybe the next hour I'll do that I
1:49:47
think I like the idea of going I think
1:49:49
there' be a lot of people in your shoes
1:49:50
who would be
1:49:52
The Tourette's comic who would have like
1:49:54
you are known for jokes about bugs and
1:49:56
for crazy set up punch lines I was not
1:49:58
even thinking about Tourette's but go on
1:49:59
no I know what you mean though I I think
1:50:02
like there are a lot of people in your
1:50:03
shoes who would have a million who would
1:50:05
have an hour on just stories of what
1:50:07
it's been like to grow up with tette and
1:50:10
that has not been youro at all no but I
1:50:12
also uh grew up with a more mild form
1:50:15
and then it got worse later okay which I
1:50:17
don't even is that interesting that
1:50:18
that's not even in any of your standup
1:50:22
well yeah yeah yeah yeah so [ __ ]
1:50:25
crazy that's crazy do you think it would
1:50:27
be harder to be a more long form
1:50:28
Storyteller with t yeah a little bit cuz
1:50:31
I try every now and again I try to do a
1:50:33
story and it is like the the timing of
1:50:36
it is more awkward and weird so I I uh
1:50:40
absolutely yeah yeah may you should
1:50:41
start smoking on stage
1:50:43
like yeah you should sit on
1:50:46
like that was such a let down I was
1:50:49
actually excited to watch it and then I
1:50:51
was like 12 of these 17 minutes are
1:50:53
about baby oil jokes that we heard on
1:50:56
Twitter yeah that sucks but I thought it
1:50:58
was like really just like I don't know
1:51:00
the type of joke that like anybody could
1:51:02
write yeah yeah yeah I don't know I'm
1:51:04
not a big I hate what he's doing
1:51:07
lately yeah I don't know me to oh but
1:51:09
they they darkened the stage around him
1:51:11
and let him sit down he must be the
1:51:13
greatest another thing you ever feel
1:51:15
like you're online he's your long FR no
1:51:17
you could actually see his pis like him
1:51:18
sitting on the stool in a way like I saw
1:51:20
that but I was like but guys get old and
1:51:22
it's just balls it's not amazing I don't
1:51:25
know like all the top comments were like
1:51:27
about his dick is funny sorry you saying
1:51:29
old
1:51:30
guys stretch out I was going to say that
1:51:33
um what was I going to say oh that I
1:51:36
feel like I'm so online like a lot of
1:51:37
the polit politics that I'm into are
1:51:39
like really specific stuff I read online
1:51:42
that I think is like a general thing
1:51:43
that everyone knows like I've been
1:51:45
trying to make this male loneliness
1:51:47
epidemic chunk work for a while I like
1:51:51
it and it's really hard because like you
1:51:53
know when I asked earlier how long
1:51:54
before you abandon something like I'm
1:51:56
also similarly like I usually like
1:51:57
something either works or I give it a
1:51:58
couple tries whatever but I've been
1:52:00
forcing myself to stick with it as an
1:52:02
like experiment and not let it go away
1:52:05
and like it's been a really cool
1:52:06
experiment because it's changed a lot
1:52:08
and I've had to really dive in into the
1:52:10
psychology of it but then most obvious
1:52:13
thing of why it works sometimes works
1:52:15
doesn't doesn't work other times I the
1:52:16
other day I just was like clap if you've
1:52:19
heard of it and then no one clapped and
1:52:20
I was like yeah no no one knows what it
1:52:24
is and this whole time I'm having these
1:52:26
deep philosophical friendships uh uh
1:52:28
conversations with my male friends about
1:52:29
like is it too sensitive is it because
1:52:31
it's coming from me and I get laid and
1:52:33
they don't and so that's a different
1:52:34
hierarchy because I'm like I'm talking
1:52:36
about white men they're at the top of
1:52:38
the hierarchy so why is it why do you
1:52:40
think I'm punching down cuz my white
1:52:42
male friend was like you're punching
1:52:43
down I was like I'm literally not but
1:52:45
he's like but like you're you and I'm
1:52:47
like is it cuz I can like say no to sex
1:52:49
and they can't like you know like is
1:52:51
that now the hierarchy whatever so I'm
1:52:53
doing all this like philosophical work
1:52:55
and then it's just like oh no they've
1:52:56
never heard of the male loneliness
1:52:58
epidemic oh that yeah that cuz I that's
1:53:01
yeah everyone I know has mostly heard of
1:53:03
or not every monoculture I thought I
1:53:06
thought everyone was talking about
1:53:10
itl coms I hear about it to the great
1:53:13
because I'm also a person who gets laid
1:53:14
so like I just hear from other people
1:53:16
that they're male and lonely but like
1:53:18
it's not my fight I mean the cure for
1:53:21
the male loneliness is jobs program and
1:53:25
breaking up the algorithms
1:53:27
probably I guess the people who are Prim
1:53:30
primarily affected by the male
1:53:31
loneliness and maybe the ones who are
1:53:32
the most online and know about it are Le
1:53:34
like the least likely to be at the show
1:53:37
so true I mean yeah so it's like I think
1:53:38
people do know about it but there's not
1:53:41
the people that are right and it's like
1:53:42
a lot of my I think that's so funny like
1:53:45
kind of re reli on the premise that
1:53:47
people are aware of the stereotype that
1:53:49
a lot of these men are like School
1:53:51
shooters you know whatever like but fed
1:53:53
up right like people to be not pied but
1:53:57
you know held accountable but then if
1:53:59
I'm explaining the concept of people for
1:54:01
the first time they're first learning
1:54:02
about it then they're like she's just
1:54:04
making fun of lonely
1:54:07
people like I like so interesting yeah
1:54:10
it's like I think that to set it up
1:54:12
properly if people don't know about it
1:54:14
like I feel like sometimes I think
1:54:16
something needs to be a oneman show
1:54:18
before it can be like an actual joke
1:54:20
because it's like if I'm going to
1:54:21
explain this
1:54:24
is and you on the same as me it would
1:54:29
not it be just like a quick like five
1:54:31
minute thing even yeah I want talk about
1:54:34
or it's one of those examples of like
1:54:36
even though I hate that we are all have
1:54:37
to post our stand up online it's one of
1:54:39
those rare examples of like oh this
1:54:41
would work online way more than in
1:54:44
person New York comedy club is just you
1:54:47
know couples that live in Jersey that
1:54:48
are like having a nice night out and
1:54:50
don't know about new
1:54:52
com front of the PO couples that live in
1:54:55
New Jersey and just want to have a nice
1:54:56
night out check spots I really
1:54:58
appreciate it by the way we're coming up
1:54:59
at hin good to see we are genuinely
1:55:03
coming up at the 2hour Mark now so fun I
1:55:05
will say usually when you start fcking
1:55:08
experience it's for listen I'm down I'm
1:55:10
down to keep talking I'm absolutely I
1:55:12
actually am down but I do want to double
1:55:13
check if anybody is feeling any
1:55:15
reservations I can check in every 15
1:55:17
minutes I would love pad tie but you
1:55:20
guys feel you guys want to we can wrap
1:55:22
it up 2 hours 2 hours is kind of crazy
1:55:24
we've been stewing you trying you got
1:55:26
stew you got to get to your
1:55:28
stew for a while oh I canel it oh
1:55:31
that's that's so fair yeah I didn't want
1:55:34
to go to Manhattan True Friend of the
1:55:36
all right we've got I'm I'm hearing some
1:55:38
response for keeping going I'm hearing
1:55:40
some response for wrapping up what are
1:55:42
we I don't have I'm chilling until then
1:55:44
it kicks me out you guys do longer we go
1:55:47
the higher the likelihood we say
1:55:48
something we can keep going until I've
1:55:50
dropped two inwards with hard are this
1:55:54
what is the scientific theory between
1:55:56
Adams Dro one
1:55:59
yeah no when's your dinner I I'm going
1:56:02
to I'm going to say that one this one's
1:56:04
just it was like a stop by I think I
1:56:06
ought not think I may have ought not to
1:56:09
makes sense no it wasn't like a big
1:56:11
thing the gone [ __ ] as I want I don't
1:56:13
know how many slurped up hards I get
1:56:16
yeah they said stew at 7:30 so I like
1:56:21
there's no way to frame that as term of
1:56:22
endearment or or Reclamation that's just
1:56:24
me saying a
1:56:26
word I I I really do think that this is
1:56:29
like a distinct difference and that's
1:56:31
why I'm very SP I will occasionally drop
1:56:33
it but it's always for comedic effect
1:56:34
and it's very sparing what I I'm saying
1:56:37
I don't think I am allowed to say the in
1:56:40
with the heart are either H why um I
1:56:43
think it's more distinctly
1:56:45
problematic Oh I thought you meant your
1:56:47
qualifications of a as a black man no I
1:56:49
think nobody should say that one oh okay
1:56:53
interesting I think I think it's I got
1:56:55
credential if you if you if you got if
1:56:57
you're black mediocrity you can say the
1:56:59
soft but if you're black excellent you
1:57:01
can say black excellent get it all no
1:57:04
bar what's also been fun is I've been
1:57:06
setting up that joke by being I'm about
1:57:07
to talk about black mediocrity no I'm
1:57:09
not talking about nobody in this
1:57:11
room czy that word is a lot like a penis
1:57:13
it can be soft or hard hey then what's
1:57:17
the chop version of the nword um it's
1:57:21
still private it's the one ends with
1:57:23
o I think that's CH that's you mean just
1:57:26
black in Spanish yeah I feel like I
1:57:29
can't I'm not going to say that one but
1:57:30
like I think that's a chub I don't think
1:57:32
that's a full hard oh cuz that's like a
1:57:34
weird one no that's honestly you know
1:57:35
what that is that's flashing somebody
1:57:36
real quick and you go what just happened
1:57:38
like that's weird that you said that
1:57:41
that's not even hate this is a weird
1:57:44
guy where'd you get that cuz those are
1:57:47
from Mexico
1:57:48
right uh yeah but they bring them here
1:57:51
oh you bought it here I bought it here
1:57:53
somewhere at like a holiday market yeah
1:57:55
a a that's very sweet someone just
1:57:57
texted me I was like oh I'm in a podcast
1:57:59
they're like what's it about and I was
1:58:03
like talking [ __ ] we talking about joint
1:58:05
and
1:58:06
Ice it's about arts and crafts what do
1:58:09
here's a pitch we all put down the
1:58:11
microphones and we silently do crafts
1:58:13
for a minute or two I like ASMR or is
1:58:16
that how about okay how about okay maybe
1:58:17
not we all what if 1% of the time does
1:58:20
it
1:58:23
anybody if anybody wants to do it I need
1:58:24
to go uh to the little boy room oh sure
1:58:28
we also have a restro if you need that
1:58:29
oh hell yeah yeah got jump on out of
1:58:32
here are you going to take the mic with
1:58:34
you yeah yeah take the mic take the mic
1:58:38
I want to see how you I want all of us
1:58:39
to be silent we can watch your stream we
1:58:41
watch the
1:58:42
bars you're going to watch the stream
1:58:44
and hear the stream
1:58:48
yes it for sure has been picking up the
1:58:50
chair somebody can talk for me oh yeah
1:58:53
yeah somebody can have two mics do it
1:58:55
and I do I just
1:59:02
go
1:59:05
hey you have a patreon does this go in
1:59:08
the patreon wait what's the plan for
1:59:09
this this goes on YouTube and Spotify oh
1:59:12
this is awesome yeah is it this one yep
1:59:15
it's uh Adam is just pissing in the
1:59:18
hallway he's he's on all fours
1:59:23
like up I used to do a patreon but um
1:59:26
growling I don't know I kind of felt
1:59:27
like it was not uh who get the comedians
1:59:30
wouldn't give a [ __ ] and neither I don't
1:59:32
know I like it was kind of like I
1:59:34
thought it was I don't know it didn't
1:59:36
seem like worth it fan Bas is like uh
1:59:39
the vibe you're getting
1:59:42
uh
1:59:43
Baristas totally I do think that's I do
1:59:45
think that's true I think there's like a
1:59:46
certain type of like register or quietly
1:59:49
making this stuff in the back
1:59:52
like like register like a bunch of like
1:59:54
uh I think I've got kind of like a um
1:59:56
like a bit of a uh like artisanal coffee
2:00:00
kind of crowd sometimes or something
2:00:02
like that like people with like a bunch
2:00:04
of like tattoos and like gauges and
2:00:06
stuff yes I can see that for sure um are
2:00:09
they lifelong
2:00:11
Baristas uh VI Vibe wise perhaps but his
2:00:16
guys are very
2:00:18
wealthy he appeals to old
2:00:20
money I think I think like like
2:00:24
um yeah like alter like uh alternative
2:00:27
lifestyle folks I think are into my vibe
2:00:30
I love how about how about you guys who
2:00:31
are your
2:00:32
fans white people probably white
2:00:36
people um I don't know if I have fans I
2:00:40
feel like I feel like I
2:00:43
um I don't know if I've seen the gender
2:00:45
breakdown that you've seen you pull it
2:00:47
up on I don't know if I have I don't I
2:00:50
don't post like stand up on I'm trying
2:00:52
to after I just filmed a half hour now
2:00:54
I'm like that I will do but uh
2:00:56
unfortunately for me online it's front
2:00:58
facing videos which for me are all half
2:01:01
jokes jokes they're all jokes that I'm
2:01:03
like this doesn't fit anywhere in my
2:01:05
standup I don't really like it on stage
2:01:06
but it is a tweet so I say it out loud
2:01:08
you get used as an example by the way of
2:01:10
a certain just for returning this idea
2:01:14
of uh like sometimes I'm like I wouldn't
2:01:16
want to write for like some of those uh
2:01:18
like clickhole or onion or or redu type
2:01:21
things cuz I don't want them to have my
2:01:23
jokes but you get used as like well you
2:01:24
can be as prolific as Meredith and write
2:01:27
jokes for both this and that you know
2:01:28
what I mean it is it's different parts
2:01:30
of the brain for sure the credit side of
2:01:33
it I do have thoughts on but I'm like oh
2:01:35
there's so many times I have like oh
2:01:36
that's a funny thought and I pretty much
2:01:37
cons sort it into like tweet headline um
2:01:41
or stand up and here's the thing never
2:01:43
sketch people I think I think I write
2:01:45
sketch and I'm like I've never written a
2:01:47
sketch never where my brain
2:01:49
goes but I should train it what about
2:01:52
Luigi C and he just he shoots com Bri he
2:01:57
shoots come at Brian
2:01:58
Thompson three shots have
2:02:01
come what about that he's just like
2:02:04
ceased desist denied
2:02:07
claim hey uh what about Luigi CK and he
2:02:10
comes all over him and uh and then
2:02:13
everybody's like I don't know if I like
2:02:14
this Luigi guy and I'm like well you
2:02:16
know he did have some good
2:02:18
jokes anyway back to you
2:02:24
a gun that shoots the NW it's like
2:02:25
instead of saying Bang Yeah gun that
2:02:30
shoots at what point at what point in
2:02:32
your bathroom Journey did you come up
2:02:34
with that and how long how long have you
2:02:36
been sitting on that before delivering
2:02:37
it in this room uh I've been sitting on
2:02:39
it since um you were you were talking
2:02:42
about something I was talking for a
2:02:44
while you've been sitting on Luigi
2:02:46
actually since we talked about Luigi
2:02:48
like originally when you said people
2:02:50
weren't sure about Luigi I was like
2:02:52
sitting on but I've sat on I I sat on a
2:02:53
911 joke for a year and a
2:02:55
half until 2002 and A2 or I going to say
2:03:00
until until
2:03:04
now I was sitting on a 9911 joke and
2:03:06
then thank God 9911 finally
2:03:08
happened I was to talk about it what was
2:03:11
your talk about Justified Violence I'm
2:03:13
sorry well I I mean I'm still sitting on
2:03:16
my first 9911 joke which is uh do you
2:03:18
think that the 911 hijackers ever went
2:03:20
to Sparro just gave it the go good old
2:03:22
College try the pizza place yeah hey
2:03:26
we're not going to have we didn't have
2:03:27
breakfast and I know we're not going to
2:03:28
get dinner wuggy Wy Wy
2:03:32
Wy but that didn't uh that that really
2:03:35
didn't work that's there's a good one I
2:03:36
heard and I want to credit the right
2:03:38
person I don't know if it's fem Manor or
2:03:39
someone but he's like when the 911
2:03:41
jackers went to the airport like
2:03:43
how what do they call no they were Jack
2:03:46
offs they were such they were jack off
2:03:49
sorry I do think the guys who did 911
2:03:50
were Jack offs not called jackers who
2:03:54
that it's true but I it's just funny I
2:03:56
think people say hi jackers hi I think
2:03:58
people don't say jackers that's what you
2:04:00
see you see people masturbating in the
2:04:01
park hij jackers hi jackers so his joke
2:04:06
is when the night and 11 hijackers went
2:04:08
to the airport how early do you think
2:04:10
they got there and then he was like oh
2:04:13
probably like the latest you could get
2:04:15
there cuz it was before
2:04:17
911 that's so
2:04:20
funny go going through TSA with like
2:04:24
with the stuff they had would I would
2:04:28
why he delivered it so effortlessly I
2:04:30
was like that's so good do you think
2:04:31
they were like do you want to check any
2:04:32
of these bags and they were like
2:04:34
No And they were just like okay
2:04:38
normal there I'm going I'm going to piss
2:04:40
real quick on my own pot folks on your
2:04:42
own all right the inmates running
2:04:45
the I'm
2:04:47
scared M do you bed your penis okay
2:04:51
that's
2:04:52
shoot right
2:04:53
into let's just talk about what we think
2:04:55
philosophically how do we feel about
2:04:57
sounding someone asked me today stop I
2:04:59
keep I want to think about sounding ever
2:05:01
again do you know what sounding is no
2:05:03
and we don't need to know this is the
2:05:05
guy I'm seeing the exact same way where
2:05:06
like if I he says something that makes
2:05:08
me uncomfortable and I'm like okay
2:05:09
sounding and then he's like that's not
2:05:10
fair that's not equal our sounding is
2:05:13
like so it's like putting something it's
2:05:15
like putting something in the urea or
2:05:16
your penis but like here's the thing
2:05:18
you're thinking of like a needle Adam
2:05:19
that's the issue now imagine is now
2:05:22
imagine it's like a metal rod that like
2:05:25
you can tap and it has a little
2:05:26
resonance imagine a little vibration
2:05:28
coming inside I did I had a copy when I
2:05:31
was in college and I did one of those
2:05:33
bad boys uhhuh and that was the worst
2:05:36
they weren't trying to do it in a sexy
2:05:38
way oh it's the worst feeling I've ever
2:05:40
had in my entire life so do you are you
2:05:41
Pro sounding I've never done it but I'm
2:05:43
like not philosophically opposed never
2:05:45
Greg Italian cannot handle it someone
2:05:47
asked me today one of our
2:05:49
friends he never somebody going to be bo
2:05:52
still going to be GRE he he asked me to
2:05:55
describe what kind of penis I would have
2:05:56
if I could choose well what kind of dick
2:05:58
would you have I don't know I felt like
2:06:00
I feel like that's so like it's a boring
2:06:02
like literally just like a traditional
2:06:05
porn penis yeah I wish it was like I
2:06:06
wouldn't get Corky with it I would want
2:06:08
like a conventionally hot like there is
2:06:11
a standard sometimes I'd wonder what I'd
2:06:13
look like sometimes I wonder what life
2:06:14
would be like if I was if I was
2:06:16
uncircumcised I wonder what would change
2:06:18
yeah what do you think you'd be colder
2:06:20
that's a hard decision I don't know if I
2:06:22
if you were uncircumcised you'd be
2:06:24
warmer yeah yeah I don't know if I would
2:06:26
choose pleasure or form yeah w i get
2:06:29
cold in the winter now cuz I'm cut I was
2:06:31
like did you get cut later something was
2:06:32
just happening in my brain where I was
2:06:33
confusing cut and okay what you're
2:06:35
saying now okay gosh gosh go but yeah
2:06:37
what wait which sounding what's up
2:06:40
goding I got I was circumcised as a
2:06:42
child and I think that if I was I wonder
2:06:44
how my life would be
2:06:46
different yeah and so it' be warmer yeah
2:06:49
i' would be warmer you'd be much warmer
2:06:51
right now cold in the win oh no he's so
2:06:53
cold he's so c yeah I don't know if I
2:06:55
would choose pleasure over form yeah
2:06:57
over aesthetic yeah because women
2:07:00
already make that sacrifice there's
2:07:02
women that get like labia plasties that
2:07:04
makes me so sad so sad why would you do
2:07:06
that to your body I'm glad I got one
2:07:08
yeah I'm glad don't have a turtleneck
2:07:10
down there I'm kind did you when did you
2:07:11
start hooking up with
2:07:13
women that's so
2:07:16
direct miss my mom and dad um like your
2:07:20
mom and dad
2:07:22
Mark they're Troopers they love you I
2:07:24
got to say this has been one of the best
2:07:26
ideas I've had for the pod in a while
2:07:28
I'm so Happ I I it's a I had it
2:07:31
previously and I tried to do I did like
2:07:33
two or three people and that was fun but
2:07:34
four he like this is the best idea I've
2:07:38
ever is so awesome wait show don't tell
2:07:41
show it only took two and a half hours
2:07:43
but we got there I was going to ask if
2:07:45
it started making you like reflect on
2:07:47
your own body image in different ways oh
2:07:50
being like Oh realize that personally
2:07:52
I'm attracted to so many different like
2:07:54
shapes and like oh I why am I worried
2:07:56
about my lebia like it doesn't bother me
2:07:58
when I'm down there right I and I was
2:08:01
just curious about that I've had that
2:08:02
experience hooking up with like couples
2:08:04
where like sometimes I'll like witness
2:08:07
like a larger man and his like wife and
2:08:10
like after we've hooked up they'll be
2:08:11
like very tender towards each other and
2:08:13
I'll be like I am deserving of
2:08:16
love you I mean I disagree but I mean
2:08:21
100%
2:08:22
disagree I'm going to go on Subway Tak
2:08:24
and say I'm deserving of
2:08:27
Love he's like no he's like no but do
2:08:30
you think I don't know about this one
2:08:32
anything changed yeah that's a good
2:08:34
question no but I haven't seen anything
2:08:36
crazy down there oh really and also I I
2:08:40
think I'm like secure blessed that it's
2:08:44
not a blessing it's a [ __ ] up that
2:08:45
porn I just think mine kind of looks
2:08:47
like what I've seen like I never had
2:08:49
this thing where I'm like this is wildly
2:08:51
different you know so it's like that's
2:08:53
your impr lucky that yeah I mean that
2:08:56
must be scary to watch porn and like
2:08:58
none of them look like yours like that
2:09:00
is true but can I tell you guys a joke
2:09:02
that I haven't tweeted cuz I worried
2:09:04
about the idea it's more I'm worried
2:09:07
about I'm worried about the permanent
2:09:09
perception of me that would have uh
2:09:11
here's the joke wait can we do you edit
2:09:13
this can you cut out the part where I
2:09:14
describe my [ __ ] sure thank you so much
2:09:18
would didn't Des [ __ ] description
2:09:20
Clarity and I'm like why did I just Ed
2:09:22
out anything that would get any of us
2:09:24
jail I don't have any stalkers until now
2:09:27
I was just to appease the you in this
2:09:30
room can you now describe your [ __ ] can
2:09:33
I real quick I I should have said make
2:09:35
things fair I I will and I can however
2:09:38
it is also like two hours have to like
2:09:41
and you also the
2:09:44
only so scary that it's never been shown
2:09:47
in porn everything's been shown in porn
2:09:49
it could still be scary they all look
2:09:51
sameon pornn that's not true I got away
2:09:53
with not watch I don't watch real people
2:09:56
I watch performers I care about CRA seen
2:09:59
before on the internet I'm not here
2:10:01
foring the internet I want fantasy I
2:10:04
want professionalism terabytes I'm on
2:10:07
the I'm on the way back machine going to
2:10:09
Pornhub before it was
2:10:13
bad damn want hear a joke yes I uh so uh
2:10:18
women always want me to take my uh socks
2:10:19
off during sex and it's like
2:10:22
girl do you want this
2:10:23
[Music]
2:10:25
fungus I'm like I'm like I don't I'm
2:10:27
like I I think that's funny but I'm also
2:10:29
like that's the kind of joke where I'm
2:10:30
like it might be a little too
2:10:33
like like I want to say on stage people
2:10:36
be like
2:10:37
e I'm like I'm like listen I treat it I
2:10:40
treat I've got Med I've got
2:10:43
medicines you care if you take your
2:10:45
socks I love my socks being on dude I
2:10:48
love it it's nice
2:10:51
have your to suck can we can we let's do
2:10:53
and do it y'all ever have your toe suck
2:10:55
non-consensually yes not non-consent he
2:10:58
didn't ask I don't think I would be the
2:10:59
sex was consensual the I was like I was
2:11:02
like and my foot is in your mouth all
2:11:04
right you okay I'm going to this's an
2:11:06
interesting thing where it's like some
2:11:07
moves it's like you should kind
2:11:10
ofic it was 100% being like are or even
2:11:13
being like are you into this I might be
2:11:14
like no but like if you want to do it
2:11:18
like the thing of you can be like hey
2:11:20
this is not enthusiastic but go go ahead
2:11:23
I I think I had a person who was like
2:11:26
they told me to come over to their place
2:11:28
after work and they were like take your
2:11:29
socks off like 3 hours before you come
2:11:31
over just walk the rest of your dayless
2:11:34
I was like I don't want to do that and
2:11:35
they're like well I'll give you $50 and
2:11:36
I was like that's and you're around the
2:11:38
corner from my job so like I was King
2:11:40
Shame when I said I pull up I'm King sh
2:11:44
and they three little piggies so here's
2:11:46
the thing Adam Three it rules it's great
2:11:49
if you never had your toes sucked you
2:11:51
should have your toes sucked at least
2:11:52
once in your life hey I've had my toes
2:11:53
sucked at least once could not be more
2:11:55
neutral put that hand down it's great
2:11:57
it's red like I was not I was not a
2:12:00
person who I thought I would like it
2:12:01
then I was like actually this is great I
2:12:03
don't know list I've sucked them before
2:12:05
I thought a person who wants to suck
2:12:07
toes but I will suck toes because I know
2:12:09
how good it feels I've licked the damn
2:12:11
foot I feel like you were you were alarm
2:12:13
so you didn't have time to
2:12:16
mentally feels good love oh you like
2:12:20
these yeah reminds me of
2:12:21
but I was $50
2:12:23
richer place they said it's afro Pop I
2:12:27
love it it's so cool futurism yeah it's
2:12:30
afro futurism
2:12:32
furis AF furis yeah Africa is a triangle
2:12:35
in the Year 2007 I guess you could say
2:12:37
I'm standing on disiness I guess you
2:12:40
could
2:12:44
say I was kind of Towing the
2:12:46
line a toes I think that'd be so funny
2:12:50
to say someone's to say take your socks
2:12:52
off during your bed and you're like no
2:12:53
I'm going to stand on my business here
2:12:55
and I'm keeping my socks on all right
2:12:58
now let's [ __ ] I had to suck a girl's
2:13:00
toes in Truth or Dare one time in high
2:13:03
school and at that time I didn't it was
2:13:06
weird they have some
2:13:08
truth he said I really want to
2:13:12
suck myuth can I suck your
2:13:17
toes your P She uh I did not know it was
2:13:20
sexual thing at the time I straight up
2:13:22
thought they were like the kind of thing
2:13:23
where like they're like yeah lick the
2:13:24
floor or the wall I thought they were
2:13:25
like yeah my feet are dirty therefore do
2:13:28
the dirty thing of course I was like I I
2:13:30
did not realize that it was a horny up
2:13:33
idea yeah hor wait whose idea was it I
2:13:35
mean it was her idea she I mean the
2:13:37
issue is like it's both it could both be
2:13:39
a humiliation thing but also it can be
2:13:41
it feels good thing that's so true so
2:13:44
you might have been right it might have
2:13:45
been like oh you're doing the dirty
2:13:46
thing of sucking her toes or it might
2:13:47
have been like please suck my toes it
2:13:48
rules it's great it's awesome and you
2:13:50
guys are missing out in retrospect I
2:13:52
think she she knew it was a dirty thing
2:13:55
I did not know at the time uh but I was
2:13:57
also like you both thought it was dirty
2:13:59
things but for her it was dirty like
2:14:00
naughty and for you it was dirty like
2:14:01
germs yes and I learned that it was
2:14:03
dirty naughty in the moment from how
2:14:05
people reacted to
2:14:07
it a horrible feeling to be like in the
2:14:10
middle of something and being like
2:14:12
record
2:14:14
scad want to hear another joke real
2:14:16
quick yes uh okay and this is maybe not
2:14:19
exactly true to that exact story but the
2:14:20
idea is growing up Truth or Dare uh you
2:14:23
always want it to be like make out with
2:14:25
so and so yeah but instead it's like
2:14:28
chug this entire jar of applesauce every
2:14:31
time you don't relate to that you got
2:14:34
the no I was thinking about something
2:14:36
else
2:14:37
oh I thought maybe you were like they I
2:14:39
was lost in a
2:14:41
Ry about Benny sucking on your toes
2:14:44
no no another hat who ate all the
2:14:48
toad who ate all the piggies
2:14:52
it is true that every single truth was
2:14:53
who do you have a crush on and every
2:14:55
single there was like the most creative
2:14:57
I was like why you any of the creativity
2:14:59
you're applying to making me drink Ranch
2:15:01
and applied it to like what if we talked
2:15:02
about my family people and ask me
2:15:04
something about the divorce the issue is
2:15:05
I play with all guys and so nothing ever
2:15:08
got sexy it was always just like tell me
2:15:09
your fears and I was like no I'm not
2:15:12
this is horrify so you've yeah done some
2:15:14
stuff you know you guys just being like
2:15:16
so you guys feel anger too like do do
2:15:19
you have real regrets
2:15:22
yeah yeah a lot of them turns into that
2:15:24
after like 11:30 do you guys listen to
2:15:25
any male podcasts yeah I think we're on
2:15:28
one right now no this doesn't count I've
2:15:31
been trying dude I don't know what I'm
2:15:34
talking about the EOS I don't know or
2:15:36
whatever that ecosystem is I listen to
2:15:39
podcast sometimes oh is it just him
2:15:42
talking to alone I've been listening to
2:15:43
him on stuff lately he's great Greg
2:15:45
Rosenthal and they're both they're both
2:15:48
non-toxic liberals and like is like now
2:15:51
in like a loving relationship and like
2:15:53
Greg has been like married for like
2:15:55
almost like 20 years and like they just
2:15:56
have a really beautiful connection
2:15:58
they've been like friends since they
2:15:59
were in college oh that's nice they're
2:16:01
they're lovely together I just had this
2:16:03
thought that like I'm so used to railing
2:16:06
against the like this is such an issue
2:16:08
like these male toxic podcasts where
2:16:11
they're telling them to be a man and
2:16:12
hate women and they got to drink Muscle
2:16:14
juice and we muscles you got to drink
2:16:18
Bing and like oh it's causing issues but
2:16:20
then then I had the random thought of
2:16:22
like some white guy friends I'm like oh
2:16:24
they could probably benefit from a
2:16:25
little bit
2:16:27
of they could probably work a little
2:16:29
harder like they could probably they
2:16:31
probably need to be slapped around a
2:16:32
little bit like wake up at 6 a.m. work a
2:16:35
little harder and I was like [ __ ] like
2:16:38
you know like when a little grind
2:16:40
set when your when your liberal
2:16:43
viewpoints are so like are so abstract
2:16:45
that you're like oh I'm so hardcore
2:16:47
believing this and then you apply it to
2:16:48
real life and you're like oh [ __ ] like
2:16:50
they could benefit a
2:16:53
little see that as not being Lial I
2:16:56
think that there's like being like hey
2:16:57
dou the reason why there can't be a
2:16:59
liberal answer to like Joe Rogan like a
2:17:01
liberal one toone answer is because like
2:17:03
there is no like
2:17:06
Progressive center idea that like works
2:17:10
the same way that like something like
2:17:13
God does this is tro trap Chapo trap
2:17:16
house erer iisten toap I like Chapo but
2:17:19
like you like you had to like you kind
2:17:21
of got to like if you're going to
2:17:23
actually like engage with Chapo you got
2:17:25
to like read there's no like easy way to
2:17:28
like chap Friends of the PO sh Friends
2:17:30
of the PO ad Adam fre Friends of the Pod
2:17:33
um no I'm not talking about I'm talking
2:17:35
about like podcasts where they're like
2:17:37
all about working out and like waking up
2:17:39
early but like the underpinning but then
2:17:42
some for some reason that has to be
2:17:43
conservative yes the reason why is
2:17:45
because conservatism can give you like a
2:17:47
center answer it's like you do it for
2:17:49
your God you do it for you do it for one
2:17:52
C Reon whereas like the liberal idea is
2:17:55
like you only you can determine what
2:17:57
matters to you and like a podcast that
2:17:59
fundamentally answers that
2:18:01
question is not a progressive podcast
2:18:05
right it's like people are lost and they
2:18:07
want to just be told what to do yes
2:18:09
which is so funny cuz they act like
2:18:10
they're these like [ __ ] kickers of like
2:18:12
[ __ ] The Establishment it's like no
2:18:14
we're literally telling you how to live
2:18:15
your life and how to be a man and like
2:18:17
you need to follow these rules or you
2:18:18
don't fall into the rubric it's like
2:18:20
they're literally telling you what to do
2:18:21
it's giving you the softness of like
2:18:23
here's how like they're allowing you to
2:18:25
like take the submissive role of like
2:18:26
just do these things and it'll help you
2:18:29
while also giving you like the dominant
2:18:31
role of like and also [ __ ] these [ __ ]
2:18:34
like it's allowing you the power fantasy
2:18:36
while giving you the safety and there's
2:18:38
the the other the enemy the thing where
2:18:39
you don't actually have to reflect from
2:18:41
what you need to change it's easier to
2:18:42
be consider there's also no left power
2:18:43
in America so there's no proof of
2:18:45
concept yes
2:18:46
100% debate was like they were both like
2:18:50
justar going over like come over how
2:18:53
much the other one wanted to invade
2:18:55
Lebanon
2:18:58
Ling that he's people Palestinians as
2:19:01
like a slur like there's no and
2:19:05
like strong throat if you can
2:19:09
gar where you get that much
2:19:12
C there's no left power there's no proof
2:19:15
of con in America there's i' I've been
2:19:17
some places where you should probably
2:19:18
gar c yeah yeah not won't eval I won't
2:19:22
elaborate I won't elaborate I I won't
2:19:25
evaluate or elaborate on that come on
2:19:27
Seinfeld he
2:19:29
gargled garle Jerry garle
2:19:33
gargled come come get
2:19:38
out Kramer walks into the door in his
2:19:41
covered
2:19:42
head you guys don't believe that I
2:19:44
didn't
2:19:45
go I didn't gole
2:19:48
Jerry yes how was the the Laugh
2:19:54
Factory the best show
2:19:56
ever do you think Kramer would be
2:19:58
allowed back into the zeist if he did
2:20:00
like a blacked raw porn yeah like you
2:20:04
know what I'm talking about like a like
2:20:06
a that's a that's a channel black you
2:20:08
know the normal way to get into the Z
2:20:10
what would he what would he have to do
2:20:11
on Black so the the black porn star
2:20:13
would open the door like like Kramer to
2:20:15
Jerry's apartment and just slam it open
2:20:19
and then grab some milk out of his and
2:20:21
be like do you want anything and he like
2:20:23
yeah I want some [ __ ] [ __ ] and
2:20:26
then he go over and
2:20:27
[ __ ] I think we'd all be cool with I
2:20:30
I I don't think I'd let him back
2:20:32
into I want some ass you yeah if you get
2:20:37
you give to theun just just tears him
2:20:41
out makes him do new sounds sucks on his
2:20:44
toes Kramer sucks on his
2:20:48
toes off my to say the line Kramer he's
2:20:50
a [ __ ] he's a [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah
2:20:54
yeah I think then we'd be like all right
2:20:56
Kramer can feed and
2:20:58
stuff put the work in that's
2:21:01
practice me Marvel movies now yeah yeah
2:21:04
yeah yeah you need to get in cheape
2:21:07
that's how that's how you get into more
2:21:09
movies
2:21:10
anyway no I don't I don't I don't think
2:21:13
that would get him back in I want to see
2:21:14
that Chris Pratt
2:21:17
video yeah yeah so do you think that's
2:21:20
going to
2:21:23
happen C I've been in touch with my
2:21:25
agent we're trying to get it off we're
2:21:27
trying to get it
2:21:29
going question kind over them you
2:21:33
brought these no do it wait why I don't
2:21:36
think he was known as like an incredible
2:21:37
comic before I don't think he has like
2:21:39
the
2:21:40
CL are still mad at him 18 years later
2:21:43
he's worth this is a wild idea but he's
2:21:46
worth looking at he's worth studying
2:21:47
because he was doing some interesting
2:21:48
unique like stage presence stuff like
2:21:51
like like obviously don't you know was
2:21:54
that damn right no but I mean like like
2:21:56
physical comedy he was doing some some
2:21:58
really cool he's like kind of Jim Carrey
2:22:00
esque yeah he's wonderful or just or
2:22:02
just studed Jim Carrey yeah and he's
2:22:04
great at dealing with hecklers
2:22:07
um I'm trying to imagine I feel like Jim
2:22:10
Carrey actually could do that yeah set
2:22:13
these are great thank you for being us
2:22:16
funny I do want to at some point do get
2:22:19
more grace she's living color Michael
2:22:21
Richard was never on Living Color of
2:22:22
course he was on the Seinfeld show one
2:22:23
of the whitest shows ever been that's
2:22:25
right I think it would be really fun to
2:22:27
do that set verba him at a show yeah and
2:22:30
yeah I'll give it a sh I I think i' I
2:22:32
think I'd Crush doing that yeah yeah
2:22:34
yeah yeah I think you can do it I I it
2:22:37
might be a little too referential now
2:22:40
like I think like the average gen Z kid
2:22:41
unless they're like a standup person
2:22:43
might not know it yeah like who's
2:22:45
Kramer well that that would also be be
2:22:48
interesting who's this really funny guy
2:22:50
on
2:22:54
this guy guy yeah he should be like a
2:22:56
Noisy
2:22:57
[Laughter]
2:23:00
Neighbor no all right we're doing Arts
2:23:02
now yeah arts and crafts we were doing
2:23:05
crafts now we're doing Arts this guy
2:23:06
looks tired Betty oh purple I love
2:23:09
purple yes look at that wait truly this
2:23:12
is arts and crafts and it's like it's
2:23:14
arts and then we talk about the craft of
2:23:17
standup about that's what Benny created
2:23:19
here today I should like rename the I
2:23:21
called it bug hiive but that means like
2:23:23
nothing it means everything it used to
2:23:25
be called Benny felman's podcast and I
2:23:26
was like I should give it a name I don't
2:23:29
know that's straightforward art in the
2:23:31
craft arts in the craft but it's like I
2:23:33
don't always necessarily it doesn't you
2:23:35
know what I mean it could be about
2:23:35
anything so you guys are the bugs this
2:23:37
is the hive yes make some
2:23:41
honey I'll make some honey are you going
2:23:44
to have like I made some
2:23:47
honey I made some money the hone I
2:23:50
goggled it you goggled it you goggled
2:23:52
the honey you can't goggle the
2:23:54
honey is Benny short for something uh
2:23:57
Benjamin Benjamin cuz that's what just I
2:24:00
almost said when I looked at that I
2:24:01
almost just went Benjamin I don't know I
2:24:03
love using people's full names sometimes
2:24:05
it just comes you never use are you
2:24:06
going to have like a podcast thing where
2:24:08
every every episode you ask one question
2:24:10
that you always ask or something like
2:24:12
that no no I don't want to have any
2:24:14
theme at all other than there's
2:24:16
occasionally like recurring ideas where
2:24:17
I'll be like I've asked this before or
2:24:19
this has come up and I'll do but I think
2:24:21
the main recurring thing is arts and
2:24:23
crafts I think that this is fun I think
2:24:25
arts and craft would be a fun I think I
2:24:27
got I'm not going I'm not going to
2:24:28
rename it we're this is episode like 92
2:24:31
oh yeah you were supposed to be on the
2:24:33
podcast before dude oh yeah talk Talking
2:24:36
off mic over here when we sorry I must
2:24:38
have learned something about Dorian like
2:24:40
long ago and then we became closer
2:24:42
friends I didn't know Dorian has a
2:24:43
different first name and that was very
2:24:45
interesting for me to be reminded of
2:24:47
right now no I loved a lot you know are
2:24:49
you kidding I'm I was completely kidding
2:24:52
I I told I told Mar a very intimate lie
2:24:56
that was so I believed him immediately
2:25:00
W no my name is Doran Keon DeVos II not
2:25:05
Cornelius Dori in the you said your name
2:25:07
was cornelus I hate I have a goofy
2:25:10
middle name that I hate yes and I was
2:25:12
like well of course you changed it yeah
2:25:14
that made perfect sense I forgot to say
2:25:16
I'm a wallet inspector can I check out
2:25:18
your wallet
2:25:21
I forgot to say I'm um a female body
2:25:24
inspector but I'm not interested in
2:25:25
Tatiana so I have to check
2:25:29
yours I'm
2:25:33
kidding I'm just
2:25:36
joking all right
2:25:39
describe made me spiral why you did not
2:25:42
say anything you said nothing wrong you
2:25:43
said nothing wrong so I do talk about
2:25:45
personal stuff on stage and it doesn't
2:25:48
even like occur to me or I never think
2:25:51
twice about it I'm always just excited
2:25:53
to talk about something but it'll hit me
2:25:55
later like maybe months later or
2:25:57
something where I'll have some clarity
2:25:59
and I'll be like why am I saying that to
2:26:02
people no 100% I'm like I didn't think I
2:26:04
was making myself a sexual object but
2:26:06
now I'm like oh if this if P then Q
2:26:08
people now know this about me like I
2:26:10
feel like I've said or um art the last
2:26:13
off menu we uh the hosting bit was he
2:26:17
continued a conversation we were having
2:26:18
off stage and I was just like hard is a
2:26:20
guy by the way and it's also shout out
2:26:24
AR sorry I'm just clarifying that might
2:26:27
have been confusing piece of
2:26:29
work let's go sorry you said no gossip
2:26:32
but I can't lie that man's a piece of
2:26:33
work but anyways he was just asking me
2:26:35
about cuz I told him that I sometimes
2:26:37
film during sex and then on Mike he just
2:26:39
asked a million questions and it was
2:26:42
less riffy well I mean he was very funny
2:26:44
he was talking about like a multic cam
2:26:45
setup and all this stuff and then we
2:26:46
were talking yeah I was like oh we got
2:26:48
to mic the audience if it's for reals
2:26:51
and like all all this kind of stuff but
2:26:53
I was like when it was over I was like
2:26:55
and now I do my set and everyone knows
2:26:58
this thing about me and can make
2:27:01
whatever assumptions they want I felt a
2:27:02
little post not Clarity of like why did
2:27:04
we do that as our opening bit huh I I
2:27:08
never want because I do also talk you do
2:27:10
it's fine I don't want anybody to see I
2:27:12
don't want to look at no you got you
2:27:13
don't want to show other people but like
2:27:15
you do like sometimes I I look at like I
2:27:18
don't see that [ __ ] the hell are you
2:27:19
doing videos of myself during sex and I
2:27:21
was like oh man I Now understand why
2:27:23
they [ __ ] me that's really cool yeah I
2:27:25
think there's that it's only ever been
2:27:27
confidence boosting really I I've done
2:27:30
it and then like seen myself in the
2:27:31
window and I just like closed the
2:27:32
curtain I don't want to see that [ __ ] I
2:27:34
want to see that [ __ ] poor lady you
2:27:37
got like shoulder workout cuz like
2:27:40
sometimes you catch a glimpse of Jess's
2:27:41
shoulder looking goodw during sex and
2:27:43
like the rest of me looks like [ __ ] my
2:27:45
shoulders look great and that's all that
2:27:46
matters that's fair enough good ass
2:27:48
shoulders he sound so proud he so proud
2:27:50
of do you ever think that that like when
2:27:52
you get older you'll regret not having
2:27:54
taken more nude photos like when your
2:27:55
body changes that's exactly the phase
2:27:57
I'm going through right now is I'm like
2:27:59
I am like I did not do any of it for 27
2:28:01
years and now I have to make up for L
2:28:04
time like take snap some I did nude I
2:28:06
did nude modeling the week before I ran
2:28:08
a marathon and I was like this is the
2:28:09
body to be capturing class school yeah
2:28:11
where
2:28:13
in if you to oh I did have I'm just
2:28:17
curious cuz I used to I did have a
2:28:18
stalker like person come to that but I I
2:28:21
I had a protector there but um and I
2:28:23
knew the girl who was running it and
2:28:25
like it all was fine but like I was well
2:28:27
you don't have to say how' you get rid
2:28:28
of the guy you call the he no he was
2:28:31
normal but then he was revealing that he
2:28:33
clearly followed me and new stuff about
2:28:34
me and I was like well this is a little
2:28:36
strange um I think that's the same thing
2:28:38
as like with comedy it's like I have no
2:28:41
problem saying things to strangers but
2:28:44
then I don't think about it as like a
2:28:46
personal could not agree more I'm like
2:28:48
if a i that's exactly how I feel I'm
2:28:51
like oh all these strangers can I feel
2:28:52
myself during sex but then I'm like my
2:28:54
college roommate was there my blinds cuz
2:28:55
I'm like oh this isn't real we're the
2:28:57
same yes it doesn't count it's not real
2:28:59
do count I feel like I'm very
2:29:01
comfortable like everything I've said on
2:29:03
stage twice I feel very comfortable
2:29:06
saying to anyone ever regardless of if
2:29:08
they know me or not yeah it's been only
2:29:11
like twice where I've told a joke and
2:29:13
I've been like oh I care about that
2:29:15
there's been a couple things I've said
2:29:16
about my dad only once on stage I was
2:29:19
like oh that's something I we do need to
2:29:20
work through still yeah totally I don't
2:29:23
want to be doing therapy at people it's
2:29:24
never the stuff that I would have
2:29:25
thought would have gotten me and it's to
2:29:27
me I just have a problem with it because
2:29:29
most of the time it sounds like I'm just
2:29:30
telling a story that doesn't really
2:29:33
affect anybody like yeah we went on a
2:29:36
trip to Camp pot ofy in middle school
2:29:38
and they had us all the students pretend
2:29:40
to be escaped slaves and I just had to
2:29:46
tell an audience that and they're like
2:29:48
whoa
2:29:51
okay that's crazy yeah my dad was there
2:29:55
like the use the little
2:29:57
girlfriend but yeah you can't really I
2:29:59
can't really say it it's not really like
2:30:01
there's nothing really that funny about
2:30:03
it it's just it's a funny memory H I
2:30:06
think I don't know the most interesting
2:30:07
stuff by the way think of a think of a
2:30:09
Luigi or some other joke player in there
2:30:11
think of a Luigi to make I here if I
2:30:14
think about a man it's it's all
2:30:17
closed yeah I'm like uh emotional stuff
2:30:21
or like any sort of like dating stuff or
2:30:23
like relationship stuff is kind of like
2:30:25
I kind of would that would be kind of
2:30:27
the more interesting path in my mind of
2:30:29
what I would want to follow and talk
2:30:30
about but I also am like yeah well I
2:30:33
don't want to do that to those people
2:30:35
yeah you know what I mean like if I talk
2:30:36
about yeah XYZ person or whatever you
2:30:39
know what I mean um and it would be raw
2:30:42
and it would be real but then they'd
2:30:44
maybe see it I would never talk about
2:30:47
like a lover a Paramore I would talk
2:30:50
about is uh like I talk about my family
2:30:53
a lot and every time I write something
2:30:55
about them I always run it past them
2:30:57
like the stuff that like I've always
2:30:58
like shied away from was like remember
2:31:01
one time I was telling this joke about
2:31:03
like how even when I'm having casual sex
2:31:06
I like sometimes fantasize about like
2:31:08
being loved and after I got off stage I
2:31:10
think notice myself tear up and I was
2:31:12
like oh maybe don't talk about that
2:31:14
maybe maybe get into a loving
2:31:16
relationship and then Circle back no I
2:31:17
love that I that's that's honestly like
2:31:19
something that I
2:31:20
I I resonate with that yeah it was the
2:31:23
joke both worked and people talked to me
2:31:25
about it after and I was like yeah but I
2:31:28
I don't think I'm the person who can
2:31:29
tell that joke yet wow that's
2:31:32
interesting future future you're writing
2:31:34
jokes for future Doran a couple times
2:31:36
you do that like sometimes you write a
2:31:38
joke and you're like this is
2:31:39
aspirational at the moment yeah I have
2:31:41
jokes and I'm like I'm not going to say
2:31:43
this until that person's dead yeah I
2:31:45
have but what if you have a don't tell
2:31:47
set coming up
2:31:50
I do have a don't tell set coming up and
2:31:52
I'm not going to are we on the same one
2:31:53
are we the second the 31st Oh no you're
2:31:57
you're two days before me in the second
2:32:01
yeah bless I have one domestic violence
2:32:03
joke and my dad's not dead I really want
2:32:06
to do it but I don't know if I'll regret
2:32:07
it yeah my my grandma um got cheated on
2:32:11
by my grandpa my mom's side and then a
2:32:14
black ass experience she got back at him
2:32:16
by marrying his father that is a black
2:32:18
ass experience she married his dad and
2:32:20
they stay together until he died wow
2:32:23
nuts yeah yeah everybody found out of
2:32:25
school bully the hell out of my mom oh
2:32:27
my God it is absolutely insane to me but
2:32:30
and I want to talk about but I like I
2:32:32
can't do it if she's still alive your
2:32:34
grandma yeah when she when she when she
2:32:36
leaves this Mortal coil I'll are you
2:32:39
close to her I mean kind of I mean she
2:32:41
yeah then don't do it yeah yeah I don't
2:32:43
want to do that I think my dad's cool
2:32:46
cuz I my dad's my dad will never admit
2:32:50
he wasn't always the best dad but he I
2:32:53
think admits it by just being okay with
2:32:55
whatever I have to say about him and
2:32:56
knowing I love him regardless I I wish I
2:32:59
had more funny things to say about my
2:33:00
dad dying but it's just it's hard it's
2:33:02
hard to like find that when it's just
2:33:04
like I don't want to talk about this is
2:33:06
sad you know I want to do like twist but
2:33:08
then I sometimes you can you like yeah
2:33:12
swim that straight white
2:33:13
man that was funny or like he was a
2:33:15
finger guns guy was a misfire but like
2:33:21
I zoned out and went into the art
2:33:23
world I love hold that up beautiful
2:33:26
that's my little guy that's really
2:33:29
good wow Benny's good that's Luigi CK I
2:33:32
appreciate that Luigi CK that's him I
2:33:35
mean I had to kill little insurance guy
2:33:39
oh my
2:33:40
God I'm trying to get my I kind of like
2:33:43
doing this kind of I like messing it up
2:33:45
but also getting it smudgy like when you
2:33:46
kind of like do like tea leaf stains or
2:33:49
like burn a paper so it looks like a
2:33:50
Farmer's Almanac and you turn it
2:33:53
into what is a Farmer's Almanac it was
2:33:57
like a bunch of [ __ ] sayings to make
2:33:59
Farmers think what they're doing is
2:34:01
poetic no no I'm sorry I just made that
2:34:03
up had weather for weather recipes no no
2:34:08
no it's cool it's cool farmers are great
2:34:09
they're some of the best Tik to for
2:34:12
farmers in a book oh you were just
2:34:14
turned the page and you're like now
2:34:15
here's a recipe now here's a forecast
2:34:17
here's a little saying but like like
2:34:19
yeah Ben Franklin like wrote one and it
2:34:20
was a bunch of like it was a bunch of
2:34:22
like py like a lot of aism yeah a lot of
2:34:24
aphorisms yeah they're cool stuff um
2:34:27
Penny and all that stuff literally
2:34:29
that's like that is Ben Franklin I know
2:34:33
Ben Franklin Almanac have you guys ever
2:34:35
come up with your own aphorism I do it
2:34:38
all the time in my roommate and she gets
2:34:39
mad at me she says my aphorisms are bad
2:34:41
do you have a good one
2:34:44
no so she's valid for that she's like
2:34:47
the one I like to tell her all the time
2:34:49
is Mony see monkey like don't do that
2:34:52
yeah that's good do as I monkey say not
2:34:55
as I monkey that's what I like it's like
2:34:57
[ __ ] like that she's that's not an
2:34:58
aphorism most people monkey I'm on a
2:35:01
monkey diet yeah what I see monkey no
2:35:06
yeah I'm just I'm just on a monkey diet
2:35:08
monkey I see monkey and
2:35:11
I you guys ever see that thing where
2:35:13
people eat the brain of the monkey
2:35:15
alive Temple that's hor is it in a is it
2:35:20
Doom yeah the people are eating like
2:35:21
monkey brains and it's like kind of a
2:35:24
questionable scene cuz it's like they're
2:35:26
all Indian and it's like oh look at
2:35:28
these crazy people eating monkey brains
2:35:31
no it it's [ __ ] up I think it is I
2:35:32
mean it's like a um Adam you feel like
2:35:34
it feels like you want to say cancel
2:35:36
culture's gone too far that's it feels
2:35:38
like you want to say cancel culture's
2:35:39
gone too far I haven't said that no as
2:35:42
you were describing just like that scene
2:35:44
being like kind of a questionable scene
2:35:46
like it felt like you wanted to be like
2:35:48
I don't know why no no I I I think you
2:35:50
can look at a scene and go like I see
2:35:53
why people would be upset about this
2:35:55
that's more how I feel about it okay but
2:35:57
I don't think the movie should be like
2:35:58
thrown out to me this is a normal size
2:36:00
Sharpie
2:36:01
yes Magnum it says Magnum on it I know I
2:36:06
um I [ __ ] this
2:36:07
Sharpie and this is Magnum right whoa
2:36:11
who has something smaller tiping you
2:36:13
would think I could not agree more GH
2:36:16
well it's not just about length Doran
2:36:18
okay what do I want to with this um I'm
2:36:21
going to make you said you wanted all
2:36:22
your pretty colorful flowers to be black
2:36:24
Sharpie right yeah I'm making I'm
2:36:27
turning this into if the moon was
2:36:28
Italian oh oh I when the moon hits your
2:36:32
eye and has a bird in his
2:36:35
mouth that's Italian That's
2:36:38
Italian ladybug know what's happening
2:36:40
here no it's kind of a thing it is kind
2:36:43
of a
2:36:44
thing I I think that's a white
2:36:46
nationalist symbol that might be it
2:36:50
well I I did a thing I invented so I did
2:36:54
a thing
2:36:57
I didn't now it's the what if I I'm done
2:37:01
with
2:37:02
that thank appreciate it oh no I like
2:37:05
you've been using the Magnum BR great
2:37:06
dude uh yeah never know again that's an
2:37:09
old that's old ass pen you can tell I've
2:37:11
tried to squeeze more out of it you
2:37:13
really it's like metal no no no I
2:37:16
actually don't know how I don't know I
2:37:18
don't know how I got dead I'm just
2:37:20
kidding I have no clue that's so
2:37:22
funny actually I think I got it dented I
2:37:25
got it like secondhand somehow wow with
2:37:28
the dent included
2:37:30
D you guys ever Huff anything yeah I
2:37:34
used to Huff um P when I was in Middle
2:37:36
School this is literally I want to say
2:37:37
someone else's joke nail polish I want
2:37:39
to be like I want to say uh I never want
2:37:41
to say my own jokes I'm like oh I love M
2:37:43
picone's joke about like I like that
2:37:45
there's a word for smell
2:37:47
illegally I love that joke a great I
2:37:49
didn't know I forgot that was mosses
2:37:51
yeah yeah did you ever Huff paint when
2:37:52
you were a kid I used to Huff rubber
2:37:55
cement nice I didn't realize that
2:37:57
counted but yes I have white out's a
2:38:00
good H I didn't think about doing it but
2:38:02
I loved hanging out in the garage as a
2:38:04
kid and that must have been what I was
2:38:06
doing I remember like one time like I
2:38:08
like was pumping gas for my mom and then
2:38:10
I like took a whiff and then I took
2:38:12
another and my mom saw and she's like
2:38:14
the first whiff was fine the second
2:38:15
whiff was where I had a
2:38:17
problem very much a two sh and that's it
2:38:20
the first wh was you figured it out the
2:38:22
second Whi was like let's nip this let's
2:38:24
make sure Hees like no you don't don't
2:38:25
do
2:38:27
that
2:38:28
yeah what are you gonna do I'm not I
2:38:31
used to I was try one of the first jokes
2:38:33
I ever wrote was about how some glue is
2:38:35
for huffing and some is for eating yeah
2:38:38
but like uh I should bring it back I I
2:38:41
don't know I like that a lot that could
2:38:43
be the joke M some glue is for huffing
2:38:45
some glue is for eating done I love Hing
2:38:48
and I hate eating that's every time HFF
2:38:52
time you ever try to eat rubber cement
2:38:53
it's like oh that's a Huffer man I try
2:38:56
to Huff some cement talking about I like
2:38:58
to smell it you're not supposed to you D
2:39:03
[ __ ] but that's something where
2:39:04
it's like what to do with rubber C you
2:39:07
can't eat it what's that you can't eat
2:39:09
it you got to have it Jerry is him like
2:39:12
falling off a
2:39:15
cliff when I was 21 I wrote a joke where
2:39:18
I I recorded
2:39:20
audio on my phone of Jerry Seinfeld
2:39:22
trapped in another
2:39:24
dimension and he's just going what's up
2:39:27
with all these people walking on the
2:39:30
ceiling why don't they have any eyes I
2:39:34
want to be
2:39:35
[Music]
2:39:37
home and I play into the microphone oh
2:39:40
that's Mak me laugh really hard I I
2:39:44
got didn't like
2:39:49
what charity uh it was this guy uh guy
2:39:53
like broad Wich people like this
2:39:55
fundraiser thing at a bar in Indiana and
2:39:58
it was like his excuse to do the show uh
2:40:01
cuz he wanted to perform I'm but I think
2:40:04
it was something like childhood you know
2:40:06
XYZ I'm
2:40:08
I'm that is so funny to they didn't like
2:40:12
it they didn't like Jerry dra they
2:40:15
didn't like it
2:40:17
they some stood up bring him back oh
2:40:20
bring him back is this real bring him
2:40:22
back the
2:40:25
hostages release me how about
2:40:30
that why you release
2:40:32
me from this you're an Impressions guy
2:40:35
you're good at impression I love I love
2:40:37
when when you do an imp you're I don't
2:40:39
do any Impressions on stage you're
2:40:40
you're good at I just
2:40:43
like oh that's so funny no please please
2:40:47
remake that that's really f it has like
2:40:49
the Doppler thing so you know he's like
2:40:51
swung
2:40:54
around want to
2:40:59
[Laughter]
2:41:03
car so funny you get sucked into a black
2:41:06
hole and you just
2:41:11
hear disappeared okay uh David Lynch
2:41:15
just died it's it's Jerry Steinfeld
2:41:17
doing a set in the Red Room
2:41:28
yeah I love David Lynch so much dude
2:41:32
been rewatching twin piece it's my
2:41:33
favorite that's the only that's when you
2:41:35
walked
2:41:37
in by the way I will when we hit an hour
2:41:40
when we hit three hours I will cut it
2:41:42
off by the way absolutely should all
2:41:44
right we're going to cut it off the this
2:41:47
is this has been a great idea
2:41:50
I but it is the funny thing it's like as
2:41:53
you do I wonder like what combination of
2:41:56
comics you'll put in a room together who
2:41:58
will not talk about comedy there's
2:42:01
there's
2:42:01
none I'm like I like everyone in this
2:42:03
room but I'm like what do we have in
2:42:04
common what our shared experiences it's
2:42:06
comedy do you think what is what should
2:42:08
I look for because you guys like came in
2:42:11
kind of with an already you guys already
2:42:13
kind of knew each other and there's like
2:42:14
there's no like oh hey oh oh you and I
2:42:17
oh I think we did a mic together you
2:42:18
know I mean always thought of doing a
2:42:20
podcast well I've never actually done
2:42:22
one of being like but it's like getting
2:42:24
friend groups and like asking about
2:42:25
their group dynamics so you want to the
2:42:28
podcast idea I had is called the
2:42:29
Friendship of accountability project and
2:42:31
it's literally just like I get my
2:42:33
friends on I confirmed that we are
2:42:36
friends friendship accountability
2:42:38
project yeah okay and then we just talk
2:42:41
I just talked to my friend about and I
2:42:43
tell them at the end what I think of
2:42:46
them and it's always I love you love
2:42:48
that Dorian needs a friend you're you're
2:42:51
pre-planning always I I like it might go
2:42:55
off the rail they can't lose me by by
2:42:57
the time you're on the Friendship
2:42:58
accountability project I love you oh
2:43:00
good that's great that's very sweet I
2:43:02
want to be on the accountability project
2:43:03
you can be on the accountability project
2:43:05
I think it's the right hand cuz I'm
2:43:06
Different it's good that I did the P
2:43:08
crazy he's built stupid I stupid I feel
2:43:10
dumb
2:43:12
stupid Dum
2:43:15
stupid now have sefelt say that I'm Dum
2:43:18
stupid
2:43:19
I'm standing on
2:43:22
business I'm standing on
2:43:27
business no
2:43:31
scrub I when you look for yeah no cap
2:43:34
Jerry No
2:43:36
Cap from from doing the pot I've learned
2:43:38
it's like oh I should only have on
2:43:40
people who I already have a good rapport
2:43:43
within person and no can like riff and
2:43:44
hang and like all four of you I was like
2:43:48
yeah I we don't have we probably like no
2:43:51
we probably do but in terms of like
2:43:53
where cookies tried to I I tried to ask
2:43:57
people what their identity was outside
2:43:58
of com comedy and I got shut
2:44:01
down I think we der I think we're just
2:44:03
derailed that's a good question I like
2:44:06
movies that's your I go to a bunch of
2:44:08
movie theaters and have my letter box oh
2:44:10
hell yeah we got to follow each other in
2:44:12
letter box it's very vulnerable to post
2:44:14
a real review cuz everyone's just trying
2:44:16
to post ironic funny reviews ironic
2:44:19
funny realas I will I I think I I I had
2:44:23
an angry one recently cuz I watched the
2:44:25
[ __ ] Stepford Wives and I I just went
2:44:28
no about what oh it was one of the worst
2:44:31
movies I've ever seen really I've never
2:44:33
seen it I only know what its role is it
2:44:36
was directed by and I'm not kidding Yoda
2:44:38
Frank Oz the new step of lives I'm not
2:44:42
kiding new one it wased by I'm not
2:44:45
kidding not the orou directed separ the
2:44:48
new one the new one was so godamn bad I
2:44:51
hate no I watch that's why I only
2:44:52
watched the original yeah the Heathers
2:44:54
was directed by and I Shu not Babu
2:44:58
Frick I was soan it's own
2:45:03
H oh my God I think the clip for this is
2:45:07
going to be none of you talking it's
2:45:08
just going to be a comp a compilation of
2:45:10
Adam doing sounding sexy
2:45:15
is I'll in there I'll do good clip where
2:45:19
each of you individually separately has
2:45:21
an incredible riff all four in a row
2:45:24
have we all delivered on that today yeah
2:45:26
you to do somebody everybody had an
2:45:28
incredible RI was it yeah AFF action
2:45:32
what else what like I'm trying to think
2:45:33
of identity like I'm think I I answered
2:45:36
you seriously by the way like I answered
2:45:38
you seriously when I said video games
2:45:39
and friends that is actually
2:45:41
like I wasn't like kidding I've thought
2:45:43
about that recently also cuz like
2:45:44
outside of being funny like like
2:45:47
separating that from it too well in a
2:45:49
light-hearted answer I'm like mared is
2:45:51
dumb [ __ ] um I would I'm like oh being
2:45:54
a friend like being on call being like a
2:45:57
person that people can go to huge part
2:45:59
of my identity but also the lightheart
2:46:01
one is just like running and like doing
2:46:04
races every time I've like volunteered
2:46:05
to a race or like run a marathon I'm
2:46:07
like oh if and when comedy fails backup
2:46:10
personality locked and loaded this is a
2:46:12
this is everything you need yeah backup
2:46:14
personality is a like another way of
2:46:16
looking at that oh for me I could be in
2:46:18
one of those Runners clubs tomorrow if I
2:46:20
felt like like if you didn't have to do
2:46:21
mics and stuff would you be like a
2:46:22
triathlete or yeah I am someone who it
2:46:25
wouldn't be triathlete I would I'm very
2:46:27
if I had more time ultra marathoning so
2:46:29
drawn to it yeah that's a good question
2:46:31
if you didn't do comedy for like a month
2:46:32
what would you yeah I probably like I
2:46:35
like that I know Adam added this for a
2:46:36
month yeah we're talking about forever
2:46:38
oh well I don't know I don't know what I
2:46:40
would do without but it's true like
2:46:42
there's movies that I haven't had time
2:46:43
to see in the theater and then when you
2:46:45
say that to people that don't do comedy
2:46:46
they're like oh you really really takes
2:46:48
that much time time your little comedy
2:46:50
stuff and it's like dude it
2:46:52
does you I want to go to the movies from
2:46:55
I am okay so wow did you move to New
2:46:57
York for comedy no so I dropped the
2:47:01
things I I I declined multiple
2:47:03
opportunities to get into like a
2:47:05
relationship in Kansas City cuz I was
2:47:07
like I'm about to move to New York like
2:47:09
I really committed to that idea I like
2:47:12
had to do so much around my life around
2:47:16
pursuing comedy that like when people
2:47:19
downplay it I'm like no I'm really about
2:47:21
this [ __ ] it was a sacrifice you like
2:47:23
you sound like a you know when you say
2:47:25
that to yourself you sound like oh man
2:47:27
I'm sounding like a grandpa but like I
2:47:29
sacrificed I moved from two different
2:47:31
places that I grew up and knew I love
2:47:33
Kansas City yeah I didn't like New York
2:47:36
yeah and no the first year in New York
2:47:38
is the worst year of your life horrible
2:47:40
so bad but I was writing like poems and
2:47:42
sending them to my
2:47:44
mother a I was just fre that's I like
2:47:48
that but yeah
2:47:49
we we did this we're here movies yeah we
2:47:53
out here we out here now I like it now I
2:47:55
love New York New York thing on my hand
2:47:57
I would high five you but there we goost
2:48:00
my we out here do you want to make films
2:48:03
ever no I think I just like it as a
2:48:05
thing I like I just like watching movies
2:48:07
and like Criterion and stuff like
2:48:10
thaty watch I'm not using it enough well
2:48:12
yeah like I like I tried watching Inland
2:48:14
Empire but I I smoked a little bit of
2:48:16
weed and I was like I can't do this
2:48:19
danger danger put on danger danger
2:48:22
nightmare nightmare nightmare the steart
2:48:23
documentary quick sa like reading I'm
2:48:26
trying to read more this year too me too
2:48:28
it's hard just trying
2:48:32
toon finding the time and get into a
2:48:36
book and go like the rhythm of it it's a
2:48:37
book you should read it's really good
2:48:39
I'll get readers block what's the setup
2:48:40
what's it about yeah it's about a boy
2:48:43
growing up in really poor rural
2:48:45
Appalachia how you say that and uh we
2:48:47
talking JD Vance
2:48:50
no it's funny you say that because the
2:48:52
author was like one of the reasons she
2:48:53
wrote it among many is to like debunk
2:48:56
shitty books like that but um no it's so
2:49:00
like talk about like a just a fun not
2:49:02
fun but like a plot driven novel with
2:49:05
all these like political themes like
2:49:07
woven in where it's like not like
2:49:09
beating you over the head with which
2:49:11
book demon Copperhead oh I've been
2:49:13
meaning to read that forever yeah and I
2:49:15
feel like if everyone in America read it
2:49:16
it would like solve our like political
2:49:18
divide
2:49:19
yeah but I mean I used to feel that
2:49:22
about t coats then a lot of people read
2:49:24
them and they didn't care w i i really
2:49:27
liked the between the world and
2:49:31
me to read that when you were a
2:49:33
16-year-old black man and Kansas is I
2:49:35
can't imagine life altering
2:49:38
yeah it just like changes like the I
2:49:41
think for white people good to read
2:49:43
because like we have that idea of the
2:49:44
racist in our head is like some
2:49:47
just and like not me and then T goes
2:49:50
like no that's not what like racism is
2:49:52
yes I don't know I thought it was like
2:49:54
really like what being white is it's
2:49:56
like a you know it's like a benefit it's
2:49:58
not really a club oh that's a really I
2:50:01
know it really changed the way I thought
2:50:02
about this yeah it's a really important
2:50:04
stuff everybody turned on him because he
2:50:06
was right about Israel he was yeah t he
2:50:09
coat friend of the Pod friend of the
2:50:11
Pod Israel front of the Pod n Co please
2:50:14
call on the Friendship accountability
2:50:15
project we're not friends yet but we
2:50:17
could be yeah you know one of the the
2:50:19
the started derail in this random other
2:50:22
direction but we haven't shouted out uh
2:50:23
Taylor Tomlinson and they're kind of I
2:50:26
think she's great uh they're like that
2:50:29
this is the new uh late night show and
2:50:31
I'm like sounds good to me let's call it
2:50:32
late night if we can get her in there
2:50:34
it's great you know what I
2:50:36
mean you watched it no he midnight I
2:50:40
watch I watch everybody's in La should
2:50:42
be watch I watch Clips when I like the
2:50:44
comics sorry me too if I like if I like
2:50:47
certain Comics I'll watch Clips yeah oh
2:50:49
okay okay like I someone that had like
2:50:51
when it's about guys [ __ ]
2:50:54
on they watch your Clips just with the
2:50:56
sound complaining now it's still about
2:51:00
[ __ ] sorry it's still about
2:51:02
[ __ ] but the show's probably evolving
2:51:04
right after I'm saying I like it I'm
2:51:06
saying I'm saying you like the idea I'm
2:51:08
saying yeah I like I like after midnight
2:51:10
yeah it's great yeah yeah me too I I
2:51:13
really like Taylor's uh Vibe for late
2:51:15
night a lot yes no I love her I didn't
2:51:17
get the idea I don't think she came up
2:51:19
with the idea of Chris hard's old show
2:51:23
which is why I keep calling it at
2:51:25
midnight did you ever watch ad mid when
2:51:28
maybe it feels old I feel like I can see
2:51:30
the logo in my mind's eye can great
2:51:34
Le got his unimpeachable character he
2:51:37
we're coming up we're coming up at 3
2:51:38
hours uh of our of our uh scripted
2:51:41
podcast by the way everybody give a bow
2:51:43
and go
2:51:45
and we all that was all scripted
2:51:47
everything we heard real voice now we've
2:51:49
been
2:51:51
planning this is
2:51:54
me this hurts my voice say uh I want to
2:51:58
do let's do uh plugs if for any listen
2:52:02
if they're if they're three hours into
2:52:04
the Pod then I think a plug might
2:52:06
actually work on them so uh let's let's
2:52:10
see butt plug all the way in whenever oh
2:52:13
that's there's no this has no time frame
2:52:16
that's fair I always just film them I
2:52:18
even I was like yeah it'll be an hour
2:52:19
and then we're here at three hours so I
2:52:20
let I let it be loose I'm trying to God
2:52:23
if I'm in a cohort that only gets like
2:52:24
30 minutes I would um end it all
2:52:27
everybody gets an hour ask to be
2:52:29
euthanized at an hour I check in yeah if
2:52:33
if somebody had wanted to leave I would
2:52:34
have I'd like to plug the pound yeah put
2:52:36
those puppies
2:52:38
down this one's by far pound-for-pound
2:52:40
the
2:52:44
best and I'm been to pound town this
2:52:47
pound for round best
2:52:49
round p the
2:52:53
best put dogs
2:52:57
down you're not laughing very hard we're
2:52:59
talking about dog
2:53:00
sign I think my battery tapped out oh
2:53:03
yeah
2:53:05
20 dog dog Seinfeld bark I'm sorry okay
2:53:11
a bone I want to go
2:53:13
home dog side that's him getting put
2:53:16
down okay sorry all right anyway all
2:53:18
right just kidding okay uh Hey Dorian
2:53:20
where can the people find you and do you
2:53:21
have anything coming up I got a show
2:53:23
called evil Shark Tank on January 28th
2:53:26
this is out before then you can come to
2:53:27
that otherwise follow me at verbos on
2:53:29
Instagram I used to be on Twitter I'm
2:53:31
also on Tik Tok until whatever happens
2:53:33
happens amazing Meredith where can the
2:53:35
people find you we're at Deets
2:53:38
dzm on Instagram and _ Meredith for Tik
2:53:42
Tok and if you want to go to an open mic
2:53:45
or a show in the Lower East Side are
2:53:47
you're Sonia so funny to plug it open
2:53:50
my I was cuz I I I was doing don't
2:53:53
encourage them to start comedy I was
2:53:54
doing it I was going to say if I'm
2:53:56
assuming I was truly about to do of it
2:53:58
being like I'm assuming if you watch
2:53:59
this you think yourself a comedian right
2:54:03
or you oh if you're any of my stalkers
2:54:05
my address uh
2:54:07
no is what's your address here oh I'm
2:54:11
just kidding don't kill my friend Benny
2:54:14
uh you can come find me get me drunk
2:54:16
have your way with my body anyways
2:54:20
I don't care I gave out my podcast on or
2:54:23
my address on podcast you giving out
2:54:24
your podcast is so vulnerable I sent me
2:54:26
my boots sent you your boots fans sent
2:54:29
me boots nice guy that's awesome cool
2:54:32
I'd love to be a man at comedy it really
2:54:33
is so awesome how did he know your size
2:54:36
your shoe size uh I think I told him oh
2:54:39
um you can find me on Instagram at
2:54:42
Tatiana Frank wait did I change it to
2:54:45
Comedy or NYC I think it's Tatiana Frank
2:54:47
NYC probably look up Tana Frank and if
2:54:50
you find the real the girl whoever has
2:54:52
Tatiana Frank just bully her into giving
2:54:55
me Tatiana Frank the name NYC she's not
2:54:57
doing anything with it so it's t Frank
2:54:59
NYC yeah Cameron's got that he's Camero
2:55:02
Bradford on Twitter there like this
2:55:04
inactive account that's Cameron Bradford
2:55:06
like hasn't tweeted for like either
2:55:08
Seven between seven and 15 years whoever
2:55:11
hacked my coin base like can you hack
2:55:13
the Instagram give me my thing back
2:55:16
what's your coin account and if
2:55:17
anybody's got Bitcoin send Tana some
2:55:20
Bitcoin we're doing a Bitcoin
2:55:22
Gund I don't know oh yeah if you want to
2:55:25
send me
2:55:26
$1,500
2:55:28
um but more importantly send it to
2:55:30
Dorian because he's never had $50 if
2:55:32
you'll send me $50 I will send you feet
2:55:35
and I got I got Good Feet you'd be
2:55:37
surprised by how good my feet
2:55:41
are oh yeah and extraordinary yeah you
2:55:45
can find me at um uh bar
2:55:48
New
2:55:50
Mexico New
2:55:53
Mexico yeah we we have our tamale of the
2:55:56
[Laughter]
2:56:00
week oh my goodness I feel I feel like
2:56:02
three hours I feel like we're wrapping
2:56:04
up at the perfect time CU I can
2:56:05
tell so yawny I I was outside all day
2:56:09
and it was like 10° but it's not from
2:56:11
it's not tired from this I literally
2:56:12
just made you podcast for 3 hours so
2:56:14
you're good you didn't make me I I'm
2:56:15
forced you I'm blocking theit no yeah
2:56:18
absolutely uh folks thank you for
2:56:21
comment on that weird with end Al do a
2:56:23
plug also real quick uh you can watch
2:56:26
this podcast by clicking zero and it'll
2:56:28
restart the thing uh also I'm uh I'm
2:56:33
going to different cities whatever look
2:56:36
it up on ben.com and I'm coming to
2:56:38
your support Live Comedy that's what
2:56:41
ComEd
2:56:42
support more than anything yes also make
2:56:45
sure you're building Community this is a
2:56:47
trying time yeah yeah yeah if you think
2:56:49
one of your guy friends is lonely suck
2:56:52
his toes suck his toes ask him hey man
2:56:56
also be kind but also suck his toes and
2:56:59
also if you want to suck someone's toes
2:57:02
ask or at least point at the toes and go
2:57:05
or at least manipulate them until you
2:57:07
get consent one way or the other
2:57:08
somebody somebody ask me if they could
2:57:09
suck down if you want to suck someone's
2:57:11
toes wear them down sliping got $50 let
2:57:15
you yeah somebody said to me can I suck
2:57:17
your toes I'd say I can't come out of my
2:57:18
toes sorry okay that's what I said and I
2:57:21
was
2:57:23
wrong any final any final riffs I think
2:57:26
you ended on a beautiful note just there
2:57:28
folks what do you want three little
2:57:30
piggies
2:57:31
for can I hear another Jerry Seinfeld
2:57:34
trapped in another
2:57:35
dimension the clocks are
2:57:39
backwards the clocks scream in pain no
2:57:43
man no man walks among us as the oh he's
2:57:48
part of the structure of
2:57:51
everything Elaine is a color
2:57:55
here I'm
2:57:57
alone World War II didn't end the way it
2:58:01
should have and there are no Porsches
2:58:03
there's no portions I have maybe only
2:58:06
three portions and here you you don't
2:58:09
have to tip it's kind of nice it's
2:58:11
encluded it's CR that's our show folks
2:58:14
thank you for coming