Latest / Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast / Rising in Faith: A Mental Health Chat with Dr. J. Nicole

Transcript

Rising in Faith: A Mental Health Chat with Dr. J. Nicole · Rise and Thrive with Dr. J. Nicole Podcast

0:15
Good morning, good morning, and welcome to Rise and Thrive with
0:18
Doctor J Nicole, where we are rising in faith and thriving in
0:22
purpose. I wanted to say thank you for
0:24
joining me today. This episode is very close to my
0:28
heart, and there's no way that I could have let the month of
0:30
October go by without acknowledging that this month is
0:35
Mental health Awareness month. And so I wanted to create a
0:39
space not just for education and tools, but for real
0:42
encouragement, healing, as well As for truth telling.
0:46
Mental health is often talked about in statistics and
0:49
diagnosis, but I wanted to make this more personal.
0:53
So whether you're listening to this in your car, walking around
0:57
your neighborhood, sitting in your living room, or maybe even
1:00
lying down in bed trying to find some peace, I want you to know
1:04
that you are not alone in what you're feeling.
1:07
Especially for my brothers and sisters in a bypass community,
1:11
we know the challenges we face. They look different.
1:14
There's generational trauma and cycles, systemic barriers, faith
1:19
traditions that can sometimes misunderstand mental health.
1:23
These shape our experience. And yet here we are, alive,
1:28
listening, fighting, still rising.
1:32
That's not small, that is significant.
1:34
And I want to pause here and let you breathe that in.
1:38
You made it to today. That's worth honoring.
1:41
Too often we rush past due to survival mode, and sometimes
1:46
that is what's required to get through a ceasing.
1:48
But there's something sacred about taking the time, taking
1:52
that pause to reflect. Now, no one has told you lately.
1:56
I see your strength. I see your perseverance.
1:59
I see the way that you hold it together even when life looks
2:03
like it's falling apart. And at the same time, I want you
2:06
to hear this. Thriving is possible.
2:09
God didn't create us just to survive from storm to storm, to
2:12
go from one to the next. He created us for joy, to find
2:16
peace, and to live whole. Not to say that we won't have
2:18
struggles because, you know, in him, he's going to bring us
2:21
through and he's going to make us better.
2:23
We serve God, God restoration, a God of redemption, a God of
2:29
miracles, of amazing things. So in this episode, I want to
2:33
hold both realities together. The reality is that life is
2:37
heavy and the truth is on the other side of that, hope is
2:42
still real. So before we go further, I want
2:45
to invite you to join me in a brief grounding exercise.
2:49
And if you're in a safe space to do so, go ahead and close your
2:53
eyes. And if not, just listen and
2:56
breathe with me. So let's start by taking a slow
3:00
inhale through your nose. Just hold it there for a moment
3:09
and gently exhale through your mouth.
3:16
Let's do that two more times. Inhale and exhale.
3:32
What's more, inhale, hold, add, exhale.
3:48
Now, I want you to bring to mind one word that you want to carry
3:52
with you through this episode. Maybe it's peace, hope, healing,
3:59
or even rest. Whatever your word is, breathe
4:04
it in. As you inhale and exhale any
4:13
tension, let's release it on. As you do this, remember you're
4:23
not just the body moving through this world.
4:27
You are mind, body, and spirit, fully seen and fully loved by
4:32
God. Let's begin.
4:38
When I work with the clients and sometimes speaking with friends
4:42
and family, one of the things that I hear a lot is I don't
4:45
want to seem weak. This conversation around
4:48
weakness. And I just want us to pause
4:50
there, right? Because in many of our cultures,
4:52
weakness was never an option or weakness meant you were
4:57
compromised, you were somehow vulnerable and not in an
5:00
emotionally vulnerable way, but like not set right like that.
5:04
It could be life threatening. And so we're not talking about
5:07
that, right? But we think we've gotten the
5:10
message is to be strong, don't cry, don't let them see you
5:13
sweat. All of that was survival.
5:17
Survival was necessary. That's historically how we are
5:20
here. We come from generations of
5:23
people who have survived, But what got us through survival
5:27
mode is not what's going to get us to thrive.
5:30
And sometimes we're still holding on to coping skills and
5:34
tools and defense mechanisms that really served us in prior
5:39
seasons. But now they're doing us more
5:42
harm than good. And so we've got to move from
5:45
survival to significance. And a key part of that is
5:49
unlearning. Unlearning the idea that therapy
5:52
is only for people who are crazy.
5:53
I know we've all heard that. I've gone through that and had
5:56
to do education with clients before when sometimes it's
5:59
appropriate to consider medication.
6:01
I'm not crazy. Don't say psychiatrist to me.
6:04
I've literally heard it y'all. We got to unlearn the idea that
6:07
medication is shameful. Sometimes it is what's needed.
6:10
It's not needed for everyone. Some people have the ability to
6:14
push through it and others they need faith, therapy and
6:18
medication. OK.
6:19
We have to unlearn the belief that prayer and professional
6:24
help like therapy and psychiatry cannot go hand in hand.
6:29
You have to remember that mental health is also medical.
6:33
We take medication for all of these other things.
6:36
And I'm not saying that you have to go along with whatever
6:39
treatment plan is recommended, but I also want to encourage you
6:43
to advocate for yourself because we do know that historically and
6:48
this country have experienced medical mistrust for good
6:52
reason. I'll say it that way.
6:54
Now I want to be, you know, create a space of transparency
6:59
here for us. So some of us grew up in
7:01
household where the answer to everything was really pray about
7:05
it and keep it moving. And some families didn't pray.
7:08
You just kept, you know, you just keep it moving.
7:10
However, prayer is so powerful. And I believe in the power of
7:15
prayer with my whole heart. And sometimes God answers our
7:18
prayers by giving us access to resources that could look like
7:22
doctors, that could look like therapists, that could look like
7:24
podcasts, tools that help us live out his promise of abundant
7:30
life. So if you grew up hearing these
7:32
things, like what happens in this house, stays in this house,
7:35
I want to gently challenge that. Just gently.
7:38
Some of what happened in our homes, in those houses were
7:41
hurtful. And some of what stayed in
7:44
silence. It became heavy.
7:46
It became a ball and chain for some, and God never designed us
7:50
to carry that weight alone. Think about it.
7:53
When Jesus healed people, he didn't just heal them privately.
7:57
He often healed them in front of community.
8:00
Why? Because healing was meant to be
8:03
shared. Because testimony breaks chains
8:07
and every one of us have some sort of testimony to break
8:11
change. And I'll be honest, right?
8:13
I'll be honest. Stigma is not just in our
8:15
families, it's also in our churches.
8:17
It's in our workplaces, it's in our relationships and
8:20
friendships among amongst our peers.
8:23
How many times have you heard you don't need therapy, you just
8:26
need more faith or you just need the you need to go to church
8:28
more? Here's another one.
8:30
Depression is just the spirit. You got to pray it out or
8:33
something along those lines, right?
8:34
Like you've heard that before, but Scripture tells us that
8:38
faith without works is dead. And that means pairing our
8:42
prayers with action is not a lack of faith, but a fullness of
8:46
faith, but also mental health faith.
8:49
They go hand in hand. A lot of the principles and
8:53
therapy are rooted in the Bible about the power of our words and
8:59
speaking life over ourselves, right, and that our words in the
9:04
beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and it was
9:07
right. That speaks to the power that
9:09
God modeled for us who are made in his image that we what we
9:14
speak becomes it is and it was good and so it will be good,
9:18
right. So we have to remember that.
9:21
So as I'm thinking about this, I'm also reminded of Galatians
9:25
62. Carry each other's burdens.
9:28
And in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
9:31
That means that sharing got struggles is actually biblical.
9:34
Asking for help is not a lack of faith, it's an act of faith.
9:38
It's saying, God, I trust you enough to allow others to walk
9:43
with me in this. Jesus didn't do all of the
9:45
things by himself. Jesus had disciples, right?
9:49
And he also told them, confess your sins to one another.
9:52
So all of these things there is it's about community.
9:56
And here's something I want you to also reflect.
9:58
What burdens are you carrying in silence because of stigma,
10:01
because you're worried about what people will say or think?
10:04
What does this mean for your reputation?
10:06
What parts of your story are hidden because you are afraid of
10:10
being judged? I want you to really take a
10:12
moment with that. You don't have to answer it out
10:14
loud, but let that sit with you or journal about that when you
10:19
have some free time a little bit later.
10:20
And here's a powerful truth. There is freedom in naming it.
10:25
Whatever that burden is, whatever that thing that is
10:28
weighing you down. When we name the reality, we can
10:32
finally start the work of appealing.
10:35
You cannot address what you won't acknowledge.
10:39
It's that simple. We have to give name to it.
10:42
OK, so I'll share a moment on my journey.
10:45
There was a season in my life where everything looked fine on
10:48
the outside and I was showing up.
10:51
I was doing the work, I was smiling, I was pushing through
10:55
and to everyone else it looked like I had it together.
10:58
But on the inside I was exhausted mentally, emotionally
11:03
and spiritually. There were days I could have had
11:05
a full 8 hours of rest and I still woke up tired.
11:11
I will go through the motions, I will go through meetings, carry
11:14
on my responsibilities and conversations.
11:16
And my mind and my spirit were so trained and getting still had
11:23
it to give to others, which for me that was an indicator that I
11:26
was working at purpose because God gave me energy for that.
11:30
But you know, I had to coach myself through it.
11:33
And sometimes that looked like saying to myself, like you can
11:36
handle it. You got this, you're strong.
11:38
Looking at the finish line, knowing that some of these
11:40
things that I was dealing with was time now.
11:43
But the truth was I was really not handling it.
11:46
I was suppressing it. I was numbing it.
11:49
I was disconnected from it. But what I didn't realize at
11:52
first is that ignoring those signals from my mind and body,
11:55
it was costing me. It was costing me my peace.
11:58
It was costing me my joy. And I wasn't really present with
12:01
the people that I loved. Or sometimes I couldn't be
12:04
present because I just did not have it.
12:06
I might have been a little distant or irritable, even just,
12:12
you know, sometimes even frustrated.
12:14
And if I'm honest, I was really disconnected from God.
12:18
Here's what I've learned. When our mental health is
12:21
struggling, even our spiritual health can feel clouded.
12:25
I was praying I wasn't going to church like I should.
12:28
I was worshipping online. But it it just, it wasn't the
12:34
same. I wasn't really and truly locked
12:37
in. And I know some of you are
12:38
listening right now. Y'all might have been going to
12:41
church and you understand exactly where I'm coming from,
12:44
that you're doing all the things and still that feeling was
12:48
showing up and secretly you're wondering if you had anything
12:52
left to give. What changed for me was a major
12:56
realization, right? And of course, I work in mental
12:58
health and I believe it, but I had to live.
13:01
And that is mental health is health.
13:04
Just like we care for our bodies, we have to care for our
13:07
minds. If I had ignored all of the
13:09
things that I was experiencing, all of that exhaustion and the
13:12
pain, that could have turned into something else, right?
13:15
Like if we have chest pains, we go to the doctor.
13:18
If we sprained our ankles, we go to the doctor.
13:21
Now, I know there might be a select few that are listening to
13:24
this that might. If I push through that pain and
13:27
think that it'll, you know, if I get a little rest about rapid
13:30
and elevated, I'll be fine, right?
13:32
But when our thoughts and emotions are in pain, we can't
13:36
just keep going past them. And that's what so many of us
13:40
do. We will run ourselves into the
13:42
ground until our bodies, our relationships, or even our
13:48
spirits come to a screeching halt or force us to stop.
13:54
Like sometimes God will bench you.
13:57
That's 100% real. I've learned it.
14:00
He will bench you and it's not punishment person like I had to
14:03
start making changes. Therapy was a big part of my
14:06
healing and some of you have already seen the series that I
14:10
did on YouTube about going through divorce and what that
14:14
healing process looked like. And therapy and journaling were
14:18
huge parts of my journey of recovery and backs of God and
14:24
him just restoring me and making me whole.
14:26
Journaling, it really gave me the space to get my thoughts out
14:29
on paper. And in previous episodes we
14:32
talked about this, right? Like you can process something
14:35
up to 10 times when you write it.
14:38
And the Bible also tells us to write it and make it plain,
14:41
right? So there is power in writing.
14:44
And then that walking, those prayer walks allow me to connect
14:49
with God in a different way out of his creations in nature and
14:53
listening to the rustling of the leaves.
14:55
Like God's soundtrack was outside.
14:58
It was. So His presence was so loud and
15:01
so quiet at the same time. And being able to just hear from
15:05
him outside of the regular noise and community, it became a
15:09
lifeline for me. Having safe people around me
15:12
reminded me that I didn't have to fight this alone, that I
15:16
didn't have to be strong all on my own.
15:18
And I shared this because sometimes what frees us the most
15:24
is to hear someone else validate it and to say, I get it, that
15:28
used to be me too. And if you've been silently
15:31
battling with any type of mental health, whether that looks like
15:35
depression, anxiety, grief, and that's something that none of us
15:40
are exempt from, or even burnout, I want you to know
15:43
this. You are not the only one.
15:46
Your struggles do not make you less spiritual.
15:49
And if anything, it's an opportunity to comment so close
15:54
relationship with the Father. Your exhaustion, it does not
15:57
make you less worthy, and your pain definitely does not
16:00
disqualify you from God's promises.
16:03
This is exactly where God meets us.
16:05
He meets us and our lowest. And I like to call that space
16:09
bedrock. Not rock bottom, but bedrock.
16:13
This is where we are most human. Psalms 3418 says the Lord is
16:19
close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in
16:23
spirit. So if your spirit feels crushed
16:25
today, if it feels low today, if it feels heavy today, you are
16:30
the exact kind of person that God is closest to.
16:35
All you have to do is call Him in.
16:38
And I want you to reflect for a moment, where in your life are
16:42
you still pretending to be okay when God is actually inviting
16:46
you to be honest? And I want you to take a deep
16:48
breath and let that really just sit with you.
16:51
Because healing often begins in the not pretending, but in
16:56
telling the truth. Call the finger thing.
17:00
So now I want to shift you and introduce you to some tools,
17:03
right? And grab a notebook if you have
17:05
the ability to do so. But if not, you know, just when
17:09
you get to a quiet place later get settled, you can always come
17:12
back and access this. You can open up your notes app
17:15
on your phone if you don't have access to pen and paper right
17:17
now. So more than just listening to
17:20
this, I want you to practice these with me.
17:23
So these are tools that you can use at any time that life feels
17:26
happy. Oh, the first thing that I want
17:28
to teach you is grounding yourself in the moment, similar
17:32
to what we did earlier. If you're in a safe place, this
17:35
is, you know, do like we did in the beginning.
17:37
You want to either close your eyes or do a soft gaze and then
17:42
take a slow, deep breath in through your nose and count to
17:46
41234. Hold the breath gently at the
17:50
top of the four. Count and exhale 23456.
17:55
Inhale 123 4 and exhale 23456. Feel your shoulders drop a
18:04
little bit more, and one more time inhale through your nose
18:07
234 and exhale 23456. Now check in with yourself.
18:14
Notice how your body feels. Notice the shift, even if it's
18:17
small. That's the power of ground
18:20
grounding, reminding your body and your mind that you are safe
18:24
in this moment and that God's breath is flowing through you.
18:27
All right, the second tool I want to introduce you to is
18:31
those tap in questions. So we want to do this daily,
18:35
right? So write down these these these
18:38
next pops I'm like, I'm going to give to you.
18:41
What am I feeling today? So you want to name it?
18:43
Are you feeling sad, angry, joyful, gracious, whatever it
18:47
is? Sometimes naming it and helps
18:50
that negative thing. If it is negative to lose power
18:53
or it can give power. Second, where am I feeling it in
18:56
my body and or being? So this is where you pay
19:01
attention. Does it feel like a warm
19:02
sensation in your chest? Is there tightness in your jaw?
19:06
Is there? Are your shoulders relaxed?
19:09
Maybe, you know, it's your back, your jawline, but our bodies are
19:11
always sending the size and signals and we've been taught
19:15
and programmed to override them and keep going through.
19:18
But we want to stop and take note of it.
19:21
And then what do I need right now?
19:23
Maybe in this moment you need some rest.
19:26
Maybe you need to step outside, get some fresh air and move your
19:29
body or raw. Maybe you need to hydrate.
19:31
But either way, give yourself permission to listen to that
19:36
need and to name the need. I recognize for some people this
19:39
might be a little more difficult because this is not something
19:41
you're used to do. This goes against your automatic
19:44
programming and it forces you to slow down, which is exactly what
19:48
we want. We need you to slow down and
19:51
give yourself permission to care for yourself O these three
19:55
simple questions. What am I feeling How and where
19:58
am I experiencing it in my body or being and what do I need?
20:02
These three questions can transform the way that you
20:06
respond to stress and emotions. All right now this next one.
20:10
This is my favorite and we're going to have an episode coming
20:12
up on this. Boundaries.
20:15
Boundaries are self-care. So for.
20:20
A lot of us, we've spent a lot of life not knowing what
20:23
boundaries are. Let's be honest.
20:25
And especially if you're a caretaker, a parent of any kind
20:29
of sort, like you have to show up for other people.
20:32
And some of us have been doing this since we were children,
20:35
right? Showing up for everybody else
20:37
and our needs coming 2nd, 3rd, 5th, or just last, whatever it
20:41
is. And then we're depleted and
20:43
there's no one left to pour into us.
20:45
I want you to imagine, think of this like as holding like a
20:49
pitcher of water. Water.
20:51
This represents your energy, your time, your love, your
20:53
resources, your talents, all of that.
20:56
And so you're pouring, pouring, pouring.
20:59
You keep pouring to everyone else without stopping to refill
21:04
yourself. What will happen?
21:05
The pitcher will be empty. It will be dry.
21:08
Maybe a couple drops and boundaries are how we refill.
21:12
Saying no is holy. Jesus said no by saying no.
21:17
This is biblical. That's Bible or rest is holy.
21:21
You don't have to earn rest. In spite of the programming that
21:25
we've gotten through society that's been passed out
21:28
intergenerationally. Here's a phrase I want you to
21:32
try. No, not right now because I need
21:35
to protect my peace. Here's another one.
21:38
I'm sorry, I'm not available for that.
21:40
You can even negotiate. Boundaries aren't always just
21:43
like a no, but it's just like a not right now.
21:46
And that might look like, I'm sorry, I can't do that today,
21:49
but I have some time on Thursday.
21:51
Let me know if that works for you, Right.
21:52
So like you're letting people know that your time is also
21:56
valuable and you are not overextending and over
21:59
committing. And sometimes we burn ourselves
22:03
out and they were upset with other people.
22:05
Can they tell I was tired? But you still said yes, you're
22:09
in the tired body and said yes. And now you're leaving it up to
22:12
them to take care of you when you didn't take care of you.
22:16
And please, please understand that no, it's not a rejection of
22:20
others, but a protection of yourself.
22:23
And if they have a hard time with that, this might be a
22:26
relationship that requires you to do some exploration of if
22:30
they're not able to respect the number for the power of
22:34
community. Healing happens in and through
22:37
relationship. And I don't just mean romantic
22:40
relationships. I want you to take a moment and
22:43
think about a person and some of you may have more than one in
22:47
your life with whom you feel safe, someone that you can call
22:51
when you're not OK. I want you to picture their face
22:54
and hear their voice. Now I want you to take a mental
22:57
note or even write down to reach out to this person this week.
23:00
Send them a simple text. And it could be something like
23:02
this. I just want to say thank you for
23:04
being in my life. Or how are you really feeling
23:07
today? Because sometimes you got to
23:08
check on your strong friends, right?
23:10
Like they look after you and sometimes no one's asking them
23:13
or you're that strong friend, but express gratitude to that
23:17
person for being in your life. And you can say more than that
23:20
if you feel led to do so, right? Because sometimes people don't
23:25
get thank yous. And they're, they're not
23:27
necessarily doing it for the thank you.
23:29
But still, a thank you goes a long way.
23:32
That's a way of you depositing, depositing back into someone's
23:36
jug or picture that has been pouring into you.
23:40
This is an action to, you know, connect deeper with it.
23:44
And it's a reminder to both of you that you're not alone.
23:47
Moving on to #5 we want to limit the noise.
23:50
I want to challenge you this week.
23:53
The next time you scroll on social media, notice how your
23:56
body feels after 5 minutes. It doesn't matter which platform
24:00
you're on. Pay attention to how your body
24:01
feels. Do you feel encouraged?
24:04
Do you feel inspired? Do you feel drained, irritated,
24:08
Or are you comparing yourself? And if it's one of the latter,
24:11
maybe you need to unfollow or mute some of those accounts.
24:15
Those things are taking withdrawals from your energy,
24:19
and your energy is sacred. And you want to replace them
24:23
with pages that make you feel grounded, uplifted, and closer
24:27
to who you've been called to be. Those things are going to help
24:30
fuel your purpose, right? And so your feed should feed
24:33
you. And I've seen recently you can
24:39
change your algorithm, change your algorithm on TikTok.
24:42
I stumbled upon this and it was so amazing.
24:44
But then it'll open up a screen and it'll show you the
24:46
categories that the algorithm is showing you.
24:50
If there's anything that you don't want to show up anymore,
24:53
you can unclick it. And actually it gave a spectrum,
24:56
so you can say how much or how little of it you wanted to see.
24:59
I thought that was super dope. So you do have control, but your
25:02
algorithm is a reflection of you.
25:05
So whatever you're staying and watching, you're sending a
25:07
message that you're enjoying that content.
25:10
And so you're going to get more of that from the algorithm.
25:13
So just know that. Be intentional about what you're
25:16
consuming and what you're not. That quick swipe way, it sends a
25:19
message to the algorithm. Enough about the algorithm
25:22
though. Remember that faith is your
25:23
anchor. Philippians 4 verse six and
25:27
seven reminds us be anxious for nothing.
25:29
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation
25:33
by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, present your
25:37
request to God and the peace of God will guard your hearts and
25:42
your minds in Jesus Christ. I want you to take a moment
25:45
right now. Silently present one thing to
25:50
God. It could be your worry about
25:52
finances, your family, your health, or just the happiness of
25:56
life because Lord knows there's a whole lot of chaos going on.
26:00
But name it. Name it in your heart.
26:02
And then I want you to release it into God's hand.
26:05
Take a deep breath and say quietly to yourself, God, I
26:09
trust you with this and name it. And when you have time, I want
26:12
you to pair this prayer with practice that looks like
26:15
therapy, journaling, rest, one or all of the above.
26:19
Those are not signs of doubt. Those are signs of faith and
26:23
action. And we know that faith without
26:26
works is dead. And before you go to sleep at
26:29
night, right? Like this is you.
26:31
You, you have an opportunity that I think a lot of us miss
26:34
having a nighttime routine. Here's a simple practice.
26:38
You can lay down and put your hands on your chest and take 3
26:41
deep breaths. And as you exhale, say these
26:44
words. I am safe, I am love, I am
26:47
enough. And let that settle into your
26:49
spirit as you rest, knowing that peace is possible.
26:54
If you're listening to this and you're not in the valley
26:57
yourself, maybe God is positioning you to be a support
27:01
to someone else who is. And sometimes the biggest
27:04
ministry that we can ever do is to simply show up for somebody
27:08
and their hardest moments. And here are some ways that you
27:11
can help them. You can do regular check
27:13
insurance, right? Don't wait until someone posts
27:16
something alarming on their timeline or it's a subliminal
27:21
post or any of those things, a text that says just, hey, you're
27:25
on my heart today. That could go a very long way.
27:28
I know I've benefited from it and I know that I've made an
27:31
impact by doing the same with people.
27:34
And notice I didn't say, how are you, right?
27:37
How's your heart today or how are you feeling?
27:41
Because most of us are going to get that automatic Oh, I'm fine.
27:44
And how are you doing is also not a question you want to ask.
27:48
That implies that you always have to be doing something and
27:51
you don't. Rest is responsible.
27:53
Rest is needed. Asking about someone's heart,
27:56
that gets deeper, that gets closer to that door of honesty.
28:01
Another thing that you can do is listen one presence.
28:05
When someone does open up, fight the urge to try to fix it.
28:09
Sometimes people just want to be heard.
28:11
And this might be the first time that they've talked.
28:13
And if you interrupt, they may not need to.
28:16
They may not get an opportunity to finish expressing.
28:20
They don't have the ability to yet say I just need you to
28:23
listen. But once they break that
28:26
silence, it's so healing for them.
28:28
And sometimes, like I said, they just need to be heard.
28:32
They need a safe space where they can just release.
28:35
They've been carrying so much to listen without judgment is going
28:40
to be a critical part of that right now.
28:43
If appropriate, I encourage you to be curious if they are open
28:46
to you asking questions and you may say, hey, may I ask a
28:50
question? And that gives them the option
28:52
to say yes or no. Right now, as you're listening,
28:57
I want you to encourage them and not push them because you might
29:00
hear some things that may lead you to believe that they would
29:04
benefit from therapy. But we're not going to say, oh,
29:07
you need therapy. Try saying something more like,
29:10
you know, I found therapy therapy very helpful, but you'd
29:13
like me to share a resource with you.
29:15
Or you could even say, have you ever talked with anyone about
29:18
it? So even that you're not going
29:20
straight to therapy. Like it gets there, but it's
29:22
just like a softer landing, right?
29:24
And you can hear the difference in that.
29:26
One feels very directive. It feels like pressure.
29:29
It's like you're telling them what to do, which is
29:31
disempowering actually. Like if you're asking them the
29:34
question, they then get to decide.
29:37
They then have to reflect on what their needs are.
29:40
So that feels like support. And they can say, you know what?
29:43
You're the one that encouraged me.
29:45
You're the one that made me stop and think about it.
29:47
Thank you for that. I needed that.
29:49
Another one is respect differences and healing.
29:52
Healing looks different for everybody.
29:55
For one person it could be therapy, another person it might
29:57
look like journaling. And even in a different season,
30:00
because I've been in seasons where I've needed one, the other
30:03
and both right. And for someone else, it could
30:06
look like getting involved in community, could look like
30:08
movement, whatever combination. But do not dismiss anybody's
30:13
path just because it doesn't look like yours.
30:15
You might be able to share what worked for you.
30:17
That doesn't mean it's automatically going to work for
30:19
them. So just take a moment and
30:22
imagine someone that you care about.
30:24
They're standing in front of you.
30:26
They're carrying this heavy backpack.
30:28
That backpack is filled with grief, is filled with anxiety,
30:33
it's filled with trauma and all things they've never said out
30:38
loud. You can't take that backpack off
30:40
for them, but you can't walk beside.
30:43
You can help them to adjust the straps.
30:45
You can remind them to rest when they are tired, or support them
30:49
and taking it off because sometimes it could be so heavy
30:54
that it's too much to take off of one hand.
30:56
Or sometimes they may be too emotionally weak to take it off
31:00
where they might need you to help them remove it.
31:04
That's what supporting others look like.
31:08
And this matters because as my good sis Kamanya said on a prior
31:13
episode, every interaction is an intervention.
31:17
And this is not empowering you all to think that your mental
31:20
health specialist, but you do have the power to create a
31:26
powerful intervention for someone.
31:28
This could be your smile, your kindness, your patience, that
31:32
listening ear. All of those things matter.
31:34
You may be the reason that someone decides not to give up
31:38
on that day. You may be the voice that
31:40
reminds them that they are worth the fight and that they are
31:45
worth fighting for for themselves, even if no one else
31:48
in their life has fought with them.
31:49
And Scripture reminds us in First Thessalonians 511.
31:53
Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as
31:59
in fact you are doing building each other up.
32:02
It's holy work y'all. Maybe ask yourself, who is God
32:05
calling me to check in on this week?
32:08
Whose name keeps popping up in my mind?
32:11
Don't ignore that nudge. That's assignment.
32:13
It's not by mistake. Who do I need to pray for this
32:16
week? And you can talk to God and get
32:18
confirmation. But that's I want you to do that
32:21
right? Check on your people and don't
32:24
ignore those nudges. As we close, I want to slow down
32:30
and leave you with a reflection. Where am I life?
32:32
Am I still pretending to be strong when God is calling me?
32:36
To be honest, pretending can look like smiling when you want
32:39
to cry, saying guess when you desperately need to say no and
32:43
we know that is Bible. Let your yes be yes and you'll
32:46
no be no. Carrying that load alone because
32:49
you're afraid of being a burden is also not OK.
32:54
Give it to the one who can carry it.
32:58
And now I want you to take one small step this week to nurture
33:02
your mental health or to support someone else's.
33:05
It doesn't have to be anything big.
33:07
Sometimes it's scheduling that therapy appointment that you've
33:10
been putting off. Sometimes it's setting your
33:13
phone down for an hour to rest. Sometimes it's reaching out to
33:17
that friend you've been meaning to check on.
33:19
Take a moment right now and think about your first step.
33:23
Don't just think it. Speak it out loud and write it
33:27
down. Naming it gives it power.
33:30
Speaking it reinforces it. And we know there will be.
33:33
Speak it. It is so, and it is good.
33:36
OK, And now I want to affirm you.
33:40
I want you to repeat these words after me, whether it's out
33:43
louder in your spirit. I am worthy of peace.
33:48
I am worthy of healing. I am not alone.
33:55
My story matters, I rise in faith and I thrive in purpose.
34:05
Now take a deep breath and let those words sink into your
34:08
heart. If this encouraged you, I want
34:11
to ask you to do 2 things. First, I want you to share it.
34:14
Share it with at least one person.
34:16
You never know who is silently struggling or needs to hear
34:20
this. You could be the reason that
34:23
they hold on one more day. Second, I want you to engage,
34:27
whether that looks like if you're listening on one of the
34:30
other platforms, leave us a five star review and rating, right?
34:35
Leave us comments. Make sure you're subscribing on
34:38
whatever platform you're listening to so you don't miss
34:41
any episode. We want this message of hope to
34:44
be amplified. It helps more people to find
34:47
this podcast and to join the community of rising and thriving
34:52
together. Before we close, let me remind
34:55
you, taking care of yourself, taking care of your mind is not
34:58
selfish. That is stewardship.
35:00
You are God's creation and you are worth caring for.
35:04
Just as you nurture your body and your spirit, your mind
35:07
deserves that same care. So until next time we rise in
35:11
faith and we thrive in purpose, be gentle with yourself this
35:15
week. You are loved, you are seen, and
35:18
you are never walking this journey alone.
35:21
I love you and see you next week.